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[barcodegaybitch]

having multiple panic attacks over the weekend after months without one?

maybe

am i okay?

no

am i gonna talk to someone about it?

no

[fibromyalgicaf]

To my fellow chronically ill folx,

Good on you for continuing, however that looks for you. If you are able to or have to work, good on you for continuing to show up as much as possible and doing your best! If you're studying, you're awesome, keep up the good work! If you're housebound or bedbound, good on you for pushing through the day, for contributing to online communities, for messaging friends, for loving your pet!

At the same time though, if you're struggling to keep up with all of it, it's ok to take a break. It's ok to reassess and pull back from some things. It's not just ok to look after yourself first, it's imperative.

🫶

[fibromyalgicaf]

If you're in a flare-up right now, please remember this doesn't mean you've failed; flares can happen for all sorts of reasons.

And it doesn't mean you are any less deserving of support and compassion. Ask for help and be gentle with yourself.

[barcodegaybitch]

when i was younger i used to wish for an illness that would make me lose my appetite

now that i have it and i can’t eat shit without my stomach hurting and feeling nauseous i regret ever thinking this would be cool

[barcodegaybitch]

dog walking is the best possible job ever

well… not on days when i can barely walk but people i work for fortunately understand my chronic illness

[wishful-seeker]

As a disabled person instead of people saying "i hope you get better soon!" I would much rather here any of these:

"I hope you can rest soon."

"I hope you have a good day soon."

"I hope the pain lowers soon."

Saying "i hope you get better soon!" Sounds like "i have never interacted with a disabled person, i have no idea what to say to in this situation so i will say the thing i think im supposed to say."

We are not going to get better in the way you assume.

Be more genuine with us. Treat us like any other person.

[barcodegaybitch]

yes don’t treat us like a problem

[catilinas]

you should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. what do you mean i have to do it again

[fibromyalgicaf]

Hey if you have chronic pain, you gotta remember that the cognitive load of dealing with that is exhausting. Just that alone. Never mind what else you've got going on.

You're not lazy or being dramatic; you're overloaded.

[8l00d5t41n3d-gl455]

sometimes self-care is cutting rather than a more permanent option

sometimes self-care is eating anything at all

sometimes self-care is logging out of all social profiles and ignoring messages

sometimes self-care is vividly imagining suicide to get a fraction of the thrill of attempting

sometimes self-care is closing your eyes and existing when it feels like you can’t

sometimes self-care is making the hard choices, writing the hard letters

sometimes self-care is going off at someone to get them to back down and leave you alone

sometimes self-care is sitting in a dark room and blocking out as much noise and light as possible

sometimes self-care is listening to old playlists

sometimes self-care isn’t pretty, or aesthetic or romanticisable. Sometimes it’s the kinda shit that therapists label ‘problem behaviour’.

Sometimes you need to go backwards because in front of you there is a ledge.

[barcodegaybitch]

well i fucked up again

i have to start protein supplements tomorrow …

i guess maybe i crossed a line a little bit i still have it under control mom

[somewordsarebiggerthanothers]

[barcodegaybitch]

im done reaching out for help

my psychiatrist literally told me i’m just this way because of my autism and there’s nothing that could help

fuck me i guess

[lonelywithdreams]

Wanting to die from the young age made me not care about tomorrow

Some people check the weather forecast, they prepare an outfit for the next day, or plan very far ahead

I don't do that

I just let it happen because maybe I will get hit by a car on my way home, or someone will decide to stab me on the street

Or maybe I will kill myself, and there won't be any tomorrow for me

I learnt to just go with the flow because you never know

[brokenxheart]

If they only knew....

[barcodegaybitch]

im done

the one person who i was staying alive for just cancelled on me last minute

i am done thank you

[barcodegaybitch]

Being told it was good to meet you but in a long tight hug hits different

it’s like i’m really wanted here and letting someone in was worth it

[rtpoetry]