INSPIRATION.

there is a love in me, raging.

[bardbattled]

❪   𝑩𝑨𝑹𝑫𝑩𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑫.  ❫     an independent, selective, and private roleplay blog for a dungeons & dragons based original character.  as loved by saber.  crossover, au, and multimuse friendly.  basically affiliated with @traumadcmp​.

carrd.         starter calls.         prompts tag.

[bardbattled]

hi everyone! i’m just checking in.

lots of developments in the months i’ve been gone. i’m engaged, autistic, and still not really sure what’s going on with my physical health. 

i don’t think i’m coming back to the rpc. it’s been a hard choice because i love the people here so much, but it’s such an unhealthy environment for me. i check in here every now and then, and probably will continue to log on and just see how everyone’s doing - so if you want to add me on disc / ord, where i am still active & writing, dm me. i’ll see it in a few days more than likely!

i miss you guys. i love you guys. happy trails.

[bardbattled]

hello friends i have logged on this evening to give you the news that @equationsoff and i are betrothed!

[bardbattled]

hello friends i have logged on this evening to give you the news that @equationsoff and i are betrothed!

[bardbattled]

hi! just checking in! so sorry i’ve been flaky af since coming back, but this year’s been... a bit tougher than i anticipated. the medical concern is ongoing and i am pretty much miserable, daily, and so i am still not really in a place where i can devote any time & energy to this blog - but i am okay right now, and i love you all so much. see you when i see you!

[bardbattled]

i am taking a very little hiatus while i sort out a medical concern. i’m kinda touch & go on disco / rd but it’s the best route to reach me for now!

[bardbattled]

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜        ♡        @doctornineteen​.

❝ not an option? ❞  it shouldn’t stop her in her tracks but it does. elsie has worked hard to disconnect herself from the planet of her... well, birth, for lack of a better word. hardly eight years had passed since her looming when she was recruited for the academy, and she learned very quickly that gallifrey was not solely a beautiful place. she has never gone back. they told her to run and she did. they never told her to stop, to turn back. why is she even here with him, when she knows what he is? why do his words make her feel so cold all of a sudden?  ❝ what’s happened on gallifrey? ❞

[bardbattled]

an overly detailed body meme.  ( do not reblog )

bold the body parts that elicit the specified response when touched. italicize the body parts that have the potential to elicit the specified response when touched, but perhaps not always. cross out the body parts that definitely do not elicit the specified response when touched.

makes them shiver with delight.

head.  inner ears.  shell of the ears.  back of the neck.  sides of the neck.  throat.  collarbone area.  chest.  nipples.  tops of the shoulders.  shoulder blades.  bicep area.  tricep area.  underarms.  top of the forearm.  bottom of the forearm.  top of the wrist.  bottom of the wrist.  tops of the hands.  palm of the hands.  tops of the fingers.  pads of the fingers.  between the fingers.  upper ribs.  lower ribs.  sides.  waist.  stomach.  belly button.  upper back.  middle of the back.  lower back.  fronts of the hips.  sides of the hips.  backs of the hips.  ass.  groin.  fronts of the thighs.  inner thighs.  backs of the thighs. outer thighs.  knee caps.  backs of the knees.  shins.  calves.  fronts of the ankles.  inner ankles.  outer ankles.  achilles heel.  tops of the feet.  bottoms of the feet.  pads of the toes.  between the toes.  under the toes.  arches of the feet.  heel.

makes them want to share a romantic touch with a loved one.

head.  inner ears.  shell of the ears.  back of the neck.  sides of the neck.  throat.  collarbone area.  chest.  nipples.  tops of the shoulders. shoulder blades.  bicep area.  tricep area.  underarms.  top of the forearm.  bottom of the forearm. top of the wrist. bottom of the wrist.  tops of the hands.  palm of the hands.  tops of the fingers.  pads of the fingers.  between the fingers.  upper ribs.  lower ribs.  sides.  waist.  stomach.  belly button.  upper back.  middle of the back.  lower back.  fronts of the hips.  sides of the hips.  backs of the hips.  ass.  groin.  fronts of the thighs.  inner thighs.  backs of the thighs.  outer thighs.  knee caps.  backs of the knees.  shins.  calves.  fronts of the ankles.  inner ankles.  outer ankles.  achilles heel.  tops of the feet.  bottoms of the feet.  pads of the toes.  between the toes.  under the toes.  arches of the feet.  heel.

makes them laugh when tickled.

head.  inner ears.  shell of the ears.  back of the neck.  sides of the neck.  throat.  collarbone area.  chest.  nipples.  tops of the shoulders.  shoulder blades.  bicep area.  tricep area.  underarms.  top of the forearm.  bottom of the forearm.  top of the wrist.  bottom of the wrist.  tops of the hands.  palm of the hands.  tops of the fingers.  pads of the fingers.  between the fingers.  upper ribs.  lower ribs.  sides.  waist.  stomach.  belly button.  upper back.  middle of the back.  lower back.  fronts of the hips.  sides of the hips.  backs of the hips.  ass.  groin.  fronts of the thighs.  inner thighs.  backs of the thighs.  outer thighs.  knee caps.  backs of the knees.  shins.  calves.  fronts of the ankles.  inner ankles.  outer ankles.  achilles heel.  tops of the feet.  bottoms of the feet.  pads of the toes.  between the toes.  under the toes.  arches of the feet.  heel.

makes them relax when massaged.

head.  inner ears.  shell of the ears.  back of the neck.  sides of the neck.  throat.  collarbone area.  chest.  nipples. tops of the shoulders. shoulder blades.  bicep area.  tricep area.  underarms.  top of the forearm.  bottom of the forearm.  top of the wrist.  bottom of the wrist.  tops of the hands.  palm of the hands.  tops of the fingers.  pads of the fingers.  between the fingers.  upper ribs.  lower ribs.  sides.  waist.  stomach.  belly button.  upper back.  middle of the back.  lower back.  fronts of the hips.  sides of the hips.  backs of the hips.  ass.  groin.  fronts of the thighs. inner thighs.  backs of the thighs. outer thighs.  knee caps.  backs of the knees.  shins.  calves.  fronts of the ankles.  inner ankles.  outer ankles.  achilles heel.  tops of the feet.  bottoms of the feet.  pads of the toes.  between the toes.  under the toes.  arches of the feet.  heel.

turns them on.

head.  inner ears.  shell of the ears. back of the neck.  sides of the neck.  throat.  collarbone area.  chest.  nipples.  tops of the shoulders.  shoulder blades.  bicep area.  tricep area.  underarms.  top of the forearm.  bottom of the forearm.  top of the wrist.  bottom of the wrist. tops of the hands.  palm of the hands.  tops of the fingers.  pads of the fingers.  between the fingers.  upper ribs.  lower ribs. sides.  waist.  stomach.  belly button.  upper back.  middle of the back.  lower back.  fronts of the hips.  sides of the hips.  backs of the hips.  ass.  groin.  fronts of the thighs. inner thighs. backs of the thighs.  outer thighs.  knee caps.  backs of the knees.  shins.  calves.  fronts of the ankles.  inner ankles.  outer ankles.  achilles heel. tops of the feet.  bottoms of the feet.  pads of the toes.  between the toes.  under the toes.  arches of the feet. heel.

would rather not be touched.

head.  inner ears.  shell of the ears.  back of the neck.  sides of the neck.  throat.  collarbone area.  chest.  nipples.  tops of the shoulders.  shoulder blades.  bicep area.  tricep area.  underarms.  top of the forearm.  bottom of the forearm.  top of the wrist.  bottom of the wrist.  tops of the hands.  palm of the hands.  tops of the fingers.  pads of the fingers.  between the fingers.  upper ribs.  lower ribs.  sides.  waist.  stomach.  belly button.  upper back.  middle of the back.  lower back.  fronts of the hips.  sides of the hips.  backs of the hips.  ass.  groin.  fronts of the thighs.  inner thighs.  backs of the thighs.  outer thighs.  knee caps.  backs of the knees.  shins.  calves.  fronts of the ankles.  inner ankles.  outer ankles.  achilles heel.  tops of the feet.  bottoms of the feet.  pads of the toes.  between the toes.  under the toes.  arches of the feet.  heel.

[betterdcyz]

boops ur nozzle

Gasp. The blond cat accepts this boop of the nozzle. You've now been blessed.

[bardbattled]

#( elsie now has inspiration from him ) #( she can use that inspiration whenever uwu )

[bardbattled]

exiledcrown​.

SHE FINDS a spot on the wall. a chip in the fresco, the smallest speck of white amongst the scales of a dragon. it is there she gives all of her focus, staring until the spot becomes a blur. she will not cry, she will not be seen to cry like a little girl. she cannot allow it. even as tears fill her eyes and mar the spot beyond recognition. her bard’s words offer some comfort, a balm to the loneliness she feels each time she gains a half-sibling. the ache in her chest that comes whenever alicent’s daughter must appear. ‘ it isn’t fair… ’ she bites at her bottom lip to steady it, breathing deeply through her nose, ‘ to settle for a mother’s presence the way a septon claims to feel the seven? in the stillness of dawn, the warmth of the sun or the rush of the wind? ’

❝ no, princess. it isn’t fair. i don’t think there’s such thing as fair when it comes to losing people that you love. ❞  rhaenyra is shouldering the whole thing with a heartbreaking strength. no one should have to be that strong in the face of something so terrible. elsie remembers how much less strong she had been when it had been her in those shoes.  ❝ it must be better than a mother’s absence, however. it must. ❞  she connects with her mother in the movement of water, the stirring of wind through leaves, and the smell of fish pie. she cherishes these things as if they were her mother in the flesh. 

[bardbattled]

little elsie is.......... good

[equationsoff]

little advice from someone who’s been there? don’t do the math. that equation does not exist. there’s no “save five harlans for every two claires” formula. people like us, we will neversave enough lives to make up for the ones that we take.  

                            independent five from tua spatial jumped by beck. (x)

[bardbattled]

pnkvcnom​.

@bardbattled​ ft faye

“oh, no..i-i’m not theia. i’m her weirder half who doesn’t know how to be a goddess.” 

❝ i find that hardly anyone knows how to be what they are. what’s your name? i’m elsie, i’m one of silas’ students. ❞

[bardbattled]

exiledcrown​.

BRIEFLY, her mind wanders as elsie plays, considering that perhaps this was the song she would prefer the musicians play instead of two hearts that beat as one during her wedding feast…whenever that day came. to her it seemed more fitting, a woman unwilling to give up her freedom for a man, one who wishes her to change from what she was to who he desired. images of her mother humming the song on her visits to the nursery interrupt such thoughts and it takes all of her strength to keep the tears that sting beneath closed eyelids away. ‘ perfect. ’ she mumbles quickly, reaching out for her goblet to take a sip, hoping the flurry of movement conceals the way she wipes at her cheek with her sleeve. 

the song feels as if it’s over too soon. rhaenyra is still crying by the time it has concluded, instead of reaching a place of comforting contentedness. the pain must still be too raw; the grief must be unfinished.  ❝ princess... ❞  at the risk of impertinence, elsie’s going to speak from her heart.  ❝ after i lost my mother, it felt as if one of the pillars supporting my entire world had collapsed into dust. sometimes i felt as if i might hold that unstable corner up with the correct memory, the right feeling. whatever i pursued as a cure to the loss was pale in comparison to what was gone until i realized that the pillar had never crumbled at all. its foundation was too strong for that. she had been with me from the dawn and she would be with me until the dusk. beyond, i think. ❞

[bardbattled]

13fcked​.

he   catches   her   wrist   to   stop   her   from   turning   her   back   on   him   .   the   manner   much   too   important   ,   TOO   MUCH   AT   STAKE   to   just   accept   a   no   before   he   has   even   asked   the   question   .   grip   released   instantly   once   he   has   her   attention   again   ,   wide   blue   eyes   searching   her   gaze   to   make   sure   she   is   listening   to   him   .   “   ᶤ   ᶜᵃᶰᶰᵒᵗ   ˡᵉᵃᵛᵉ   ᶤᵗ   ᵃᵗ   ᵗʰᵃᵗ   .   you   have   to   give   me   a   moment   of   your   time   and   listen   !   please   !   “   

@bardbattled​   sent:   “   whatever   you’re   going   to   ask   ,   the   answer   is   no   !   “

strong hand clasps her wrist and stops her from walking. elsie turns back to him with an audible sigh, pulling her hand back to herself when it’s released but staying put to hear him out. she understands he’s a close relation to the mackenzie, her host; considering the safe shelter the musician has received here, it would be ungrateful of her to refuse so stubbornly.  ❝ i have naught about me but troubles. i am practically an ill omen. what could you want of me? ❞  neither of them can be found here or they will bring a red fury down on castle leoch.

[bardbattled]

equationsoff​.

that he did. he has no idea what he’d expected her to say but he’s a literal novice. his world had been only fire, solitude and survival. so much has changed in the world and maybe a way to move past his pain is to move forward. find something special that could be his that isn’t the dead reminders of his family. even as children they were only allowed to visit attractions or tourist traps as part of publicity stunts. never to actually see what they were like.

despite his many skills there are some he simply could not learn in a hollowed out husk of a world. more things to add to the list. he can’t cook beyond roasting over an open fire and since most of his ingredients were rotted and gross he doubts he can count it as a talent.

“ i saved you from two apocalypses. technically, i doubled my goal. ” they were breathing and it was past april 1st. now…what does he do now? “ because that went so well when i left you to it the first time round. it’s not easy to let go of what kept me alive all those years alone. it’s been so long since i was anything but survival and a debt that i don’t know how to stop worrying. ”

❝ you’re not alone anymore. and you don’t have to figure out what to do alone. ❞  elsie doesn’t plan on letting him out of her sight... within reason. she needs to remember that he’s a very grown man who probably doesn’t want the smothering presence of his little sister. wow, that’s never not going to be weird. part of their closeness had been how much they understood each other, their experiences being so neck and neck. that dynamic has been permanently altered. what used to be can never be recovered. is that worth mourning? five’s back. honestly, what matters beyond that?

the world’s expiration date has passed but it’s still spinning. they’re still breathing and five’s still here. nothing has dissolved from beneath her feet; nothing has burst like bubbles and fizzled out. she’s been preparing for that so hard that she hasn’t spared a thought for what comes next.

❝ what about a theme park? we should at least find one. i’ve never been on a roller coaster. ❞  

[bardbattled]

equationsoff​.

@bardbattled​ really didn’t need to like the starter as they’d get one no matter what

he sighs as her voice breaks the tension he’s created between himself and the man he’s currently holding up for money. not that the guy didn’t owe who had sent him. “ go. and i better see that money by tomorrow. ” the terrified drug user nods shakily and leaves now the knife that had been pressed against his neck was removed. five waits until he’s gone before turning to elsie. “ shouldn’t be out this late around this part of time, number eight. could get yourself stabbed. by someone like me. ”

the last time she’d seen him, he was walking away from her and viktor in the park. disoriented as if she were in a dream, she hadn’t been able to follow him fast enough. trying to find him has been a difficult task and what she does find shocks her more than it probably should. it’s easy to forget the things five has done to survive when you’ve also been in the grip of existential panic and made choices you weren’t proud of.  ❝ number eight? when’s the last time you called me that? ❞  he’s the only one that insists on being called by his number.  ❝ what are you doing? ❞