Wink Wonk

Dan. 20. They/Them. Lesbian.

[confirmance]

me before showering: i don’t want to shower

me once in the shower: i live here now

[sheherteruki-moved-deactivated2]

[rcktpwr]

tired butler voice:

My balls are bursting wth anticipation, sir.

[bogleech]

oh no dont eat food, dont you know it has autism chemtrails in it?! your star sign beams you all the vitamins you need

[bogleech]

just found out water has a molecule in it, NO THANKS PAL! You know what else has a molecule?? a knife

[sylferino]

going to the grocery store when youre 20 makes your receipt look like this:

item 1                            1.94

item 2                            1.94

item 3                            0.50

item 4                            0.32

item 5                            1.00

item 6                            1.00

item 7                            0.72

item 8                            0.69

item 9                            2.00

item 10                          5.87

item 11                          1.00

item 12                          1.36

subtotal:                                 18.34

[sylferino]

and you think about the $5 one for the rest of the day

[borderline-sunflower-deactivate]

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

[5348674174-deactivated20150510]

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

[locke-fuckscottlynch78-lamora]

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

[wizzard890]

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

[erincrocodile-deactivated202006]

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

[mcdonalds-money]

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

[gh0stvirgo]

Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

[anxietyproblem]

[lostovae]

Wisdom teeth are so weird cause my body is like, “hey I know you are done growing but would you like some…MORE TEETH???? And I’m like, “hell no, theres no room,” but then my body is still like *slamming fists on table* “more teeth! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! MORE TEETH! M O R E T E E T H”

[freakinfishtank]

Oh there’s no room? That’s fine we’ll just gRoW TheM IN FuvKiNg SIDEWAYS

[nemeshii]

Literally just got my wisdom teeth out this morning and this is the first time I’ve ever seen this post 🤔

[covid-69]

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a clapping, As of ass cheeks gently clapping, clapping at my chamber door.

[buffafro]

“tis a visitor,” i muttered, “dummy thicc, and nothing more”

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

this doesnt even begin to touch the status of most cursed thing ive ever written but it is fuckin up there. here ya go @buffafro

[garbage-empress]

cowboy advice

be rootin

be tootin

and by god be shootin

but most of all

be kind

[lamborb]

i… made a cross stitch inspired by this post….

it was a christmas present for a friend. he loved it. thanks op

[antimanifesto1973]

hey anyone want some upsmexy ? x3

[blackpyrefly]

lol xD whats upsmexy????? :3c

[antimanifesto1973]

nothing much :3 how abt u ?? x3 xDDD

[blackpyrefly]

xDDD x3 OMG u got me xDD :3

[qh-deactivated20170215]

[gay-irl]

[neverthere12345]

[dr0wnedperfectionist]

wow i love this

[neutralangel]

One of the truest things I’ve ever heard is that people who say they’re “brutally honest” are more interested in the brutality than the honesty.

[namumula-moved-deactivated20190]

when i get murdered i want it to be so perfect and mysterious that i get featured on buzzfeed unsolved true crime with only one theory and it’s about aliens

[one-pointperspective-deactivate]

when

[argentaevum]

[idrisbaker]

I would have a really hard time not

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

This image physically tempted me

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

me: hey can you make dopamine and serotonin

my brain:

[pglang]

this year is personal, its really me vs me.