Maple Bartzie @bartziefluff - Tumblr Blog

Commissions are open! DM me with any inquiries and even if you can’t commission me, I would appreciate the boost!

I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

liarsblade

What part of "the detective franchise is back babey" did you not get. There were 14 Poirot films and that's not counting the show which was a standard season for most of its run. 69 Columbo episodes. Like it or hate it you are going to be seeing Benoit Blanc until the day he stops making money and then some.

udntnome

He hasn't even been on a train yet for fucks sake

dragoness-witch

HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN ON A TRAIN YET!!!!

tgirl-thucydides

felinewasteland

Trans Texas flag for all your Trans Texas needs

spicymochi

tea party birds

homoaquaticus

someone: prohibition in the united states was largely ineffective, cost millions, tried to force a religious belief on the entire country, only ever resulted in the increase in consumption of alcohol, as well as the increase in police violence, and ultimately failed

people: okay yeah that’s true

someone: the war on drugs is the exact same thing except this time because of the militarization of the police and private prison interests, is much, much more deadly and specifically exists to justify and widely reinstate slavery within the united states

people: what? but drugs are #bad, and we can’t let people use them. obviously this is the only way to deal with this situation

lycaniums-room

An ad for your deepest desires :)

sweetcherryblossomswrites

You know what I just admire the graphic design on this

It FEELS so much like a real ad I expect to be sold some sort of car tyre or something but it’s just about biting

1000/10 excellent job

kleefkruid

Never had a tiktok and it's not even banned here but I'm kind of tempted to get the red note app to min-max my Chinese ingredient pantry.

kleefkruid

Chinese cooking is very doable once you collect everything for a basic pantry, you mainly prep and measure every single thing beforehand (get a ton of tiny bowls) and then you have to chuck in everything in rapid fashion in the right order and cooking time is pretty short compared to prep (which explains chinese fast food tastes so much better than western ones, it's literally made fast instead of pre-made stuff re-heated)

The real and true challenge of Chinese food is not adding fried rice to everything

kleefkruid

@breval @cheery-space-lizz

Here's the website, it's by a Chinese woman living in the US (so unfortunately the recepes use cups, please... my measurements...) but besides that it's all very clear, and very important bonus, you can get the recepes both with meat and plant-based versions, so depending who you are cooking for you can just switch it up!

There's a lot of filters including skill level, time, regions of China, and there's an introductory page on how to set up a basic pantry which is what my link send you to.

If you want a starting recepe (after setting up the pantry) I'd reccomend the hot and sour soup bc it gives you a good idea of the prep while making something that wont burn easely lmao. Also it looks really fancy. (and it freezes well too)

romcommunist

definitely top 10 image. like every day we are given so many opportunities to use it. unreal mileage. timeless

plorkart

post valentines day with fur everywhere

depsidase

theconcealedweapon

You hate that your favorite bands are exercising their free speech.

s0bk

sorry i only draw him in fishnets and bikinis. it'll keep happening!

bovineblogger

queer-lynx

Weird question, is it ok to stick your fingers into a cows mouth like that? Cause I learned that horses will bite them off if you do this, are cows more gentle?

bovineblogger

cowies dont actually have top teeth!!! so ur not in danger of losing ur fingers :3