Simon is not a lazy person per se, but he hates cleaning and doing all the everyday maintenance. He makes an effort for Wille, but he does it grumbling.
Wille is a very tidy person and can't have a messy apartment. He does most of the cleaning, but doesn’t like to do it alone.
Batmon doesn’t give a fuck. He's just too cute to do basic cores. (And he's not very helpful either.)
To make one thing clear - I'm not an addict. It's just a habit. Bananas are niceeeeee. Yum yum. Irresistible. How is it my fault Wilhelm brought them? I blame him for everything that happened, the little seducer. Just for the record. 🦇♥️🍌
“I brought some fruit. Thought you’d be hungry when you’re a bat all night and won’t eat mosquitoes”, Wilhelm smiled, sat down at his desk and started to peel a banana.
Batmon had landed on his windowsill half an hour ago – this time the window had been open for real – and was now quietly dangling from his door frame. He eyed him for a moment, then set off and landed on the table. The little claws on his feet didn’t find grip on the smooth surface and he slid across the tabletop until he came to a halt at the rim of the plate. Wilhelm cut a slice of banana and held it out to Simon. The furry creature gave him a stern look. The slice was as big as its head. Wilhelm chuckled and cut it into even smaller chops. The bat gaped wide and gulped down a big piece of the sticky fruit. It seemed to enjoy it a lot and scrambled onto the plate to get another one. Wilhelm laughed out, as he watched the mouse-like animal splash about the plate and shove banana into its trap until it’s snout and furry chest were sticky with fruit.
“Oh my god, you’ll have to bath”, he tittered and held out his hand for it when it was done with munching, belly big and breathing heavily.
But Batmon wouldn’t have it and jumped backwards.
“Cut it! You’re dirty!”, Wilhelm scolded and tried to grab him.
The bat let out an angry chirp, started off and fluttered about his room. One round, two rounds, three – it sped up and drove a looping through the air, soared along the rear wall, pirouetted and finally clung to the curtain rail where it hung. Wilhelm shook his head.
“You’re having a sugar rush. That's what your mom warned me about."
Batmon made a gnarling noise.
"Yes, I talk to your mom. She's nice! Now come down! I want to clean you up! It’s gonna dry in and you’ll smell banana all night!”
Batmon spread his wings in a threatening manner and – did he hiss at him? Wilhelm made an angry face.
“Fine then! Stay up there, banana-bat!”, he snapped. “But don't think I’ll let you into my bed like this!” With an angry move he threw the window open. “Go, fly it off!”
Batmon didn’t hesitate but dropped from the rail and exited through the window, uttering a row of unfriendly clicking sounds. Wille sent a mad glance after him and threw the window shut.
My story has been called "the cutest fic of the yr fandom". CUTE MY ASS - how about terrific, grand, FABULOUS? Yeah, that's more like it. High time I get my own Tumblr space now where I can dump all the cool stuff that's going into the history books, just you see!
The main story of Wille and my first meeting (not really, but our first INTERACTION - cause boy, I had an eye on you for a while ...) is Wilhelm's POV, which is cute, because Wilhelm is cute. He's the cutest of cutesie pies and you can't tell me otherwise. But if you want to get a glimpse of an outstanding bat brain (that's the REAL shit, honey), you find my own view of things in the SPECIALS.
97ways keeps track of all the shenanigans, so go say hi on her main, she's a nice one (mostly).
Batmon, or True Love's First Kiss is available on AO3. Lucky you it's only 15k words, so you can just munch it up. Ok, I'm hungry now. Go read, I need a snack. Bye.
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