for his mourners will be outcast men

Trek. 32/GQ. Floridian. American Balkanization Party founder. Likes weird porn and being painstakingly honest. Tumblr anthropologist. Frank Wildhorn stan.

[dogpuppy]

[squirrelly-13]

they got married btw

[visit-me-here-in-wonderland]

oh you’re not kidding

[pitbolshevik]

i still think about the fucking quesadilla terf

[pitbolshevik]

iirc it was like this terf who was absolutely fuming because her brother was dating a trans woman and she started claiming that she was clearly male socialized because the terf made quesadillas for dinner and the trans woman was like "wow :) this is really good, what is it?" and if she was a REAL woman she would instinctively KNOW what a quesadilla is

anyway it turns out the reason the poor woman didn't know what it was was because the terf had used hummus instead of cheese for some fucking reason so it wasn't even a quesadilla

[baratheonpilled]

dunk + textposts part 3

[baratheonpilled]

lyonel + textposts part 2

[redcigart]

I have tried and failed to lineart this multiple times so here have it as is

On I sailed this Ship into the storm etc etc

[thememedaddy]

[anarchopuppy]

dnd setting where dungeons are as ubiquitous as roman ruins are in parts of europe

"i was just trying to dig a pond in my yard when i hit some kinda puzzle door, now i gotta get the adventurers guild involved. they say its gonna take at least 3 months to explore the whole thing, can u believe that?"

[eldengourd]

It's that time of year again. My good friend Jonathan Harker is on his annual business trip to Castle Dracula.

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

billie eilish is dressing like a bad guy thug at a mahjong game in a kung fu movie

[health-goth-inc]

"Let the Gweilo play. He has nothing left to lose."

[hotvampireadjacent]

[treesaspen]

More things that get left out of Dracula adaptations

Van Helsing pulls 29 year old Dr Seward's ear like he's still a schoolboy

There's a relationship-establishment flashback between Van Helsing and Seward

In it, Van Helsing accidentally gets cut with something unclean. His then-student Seward immediately drops everything to start sucking on the wound raw

At one point, Seward asks to become his "pet student again."

Dracula has a big, permanent scar on his forehead from Jonathan Harker's shovel

Arthur Holmwood saying "Tally ho!"

Transylvanians conclude that the delirious, amnesiac Jonathan Harker is English due to "his violent demeanour."

Despite attempts to keep low profile, Dracula gets into the news twice in two months (in one of them as a missing dog)

Dracula getting misreported as a dog because English people have never seen a wolf

London newspapers treat Lucy's vampire attacks on children as a meme among kids because they don't believe in vampires

Dracula getting sworn at by a British sailor solely because he thinks Dracula is French

Van Helsing is baffled why British sailors keep talking about blood and bloom (it's swearing)

Van Helsing is friends with real-life turkologist traveler Arminius Vámbéry, who is his source on the Dracula family

Van Helsing is friends with Hans Christian Andersen and references The Ugly Duckling

Van Helsing getting one-upped by Mina Harker every single time he says something sexist about her intelligence

Dracula failing to destroy the evidence against him because Mina backs up her files

Jonathan getting so mad he hunts Dracula down the walls like a spiderman with a machete

Dracula's backstory involving him being a top student at the devil's magic school, the Scholomance

Mina and Jonathan kissing on the mouth in front of everybody

Quincey Morris spontaneously gifting Mina the Victorian equivalent of a MacBook Air while travelling to the Castle

Quincey Harker

[questintheskies]

[weaver-z]

I'll show YOU a "SPRING FORWARD"

[weaver-z]

Obsessed with the person who tagged their reblog with the full class, order, family, and genus of this beast

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Me: I don't know. I just don't think there's much comedic potential to the idea of a "pizza samurai"

PIzza Samurai, entering physical existence due to the sheer willpower which I still spend thinking about him: I will defeat you with my New York Style martial arts Pepperōnin, also real now: Prepare to get sliced

[palezma]

do you guys like this renaissance faire Rose?

[setulose]

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

[setulose]

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

[setulose]

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis