you’re a gorgeous girl. cute and funny, efficient on missions—it was always nice to be around you.
but the way he felt towards you wouldn’t even fall underneath a crush, at least for his standards. even if it did, nothing would happen for two reasons.
one: he wouldn’t let it.
two: you’re already enjin’s.
and blatantly so! it seemed every corner he turned enjin was with you, free-loading himself over your shoulders, or your fingers idly tracing the tattoos his clothes couldn’t reach. to say the least, all the pet-names, banter, and flirting proved to be mildly entertaining to witness.
when tamsy pictures you with him in his head he doesn’t hate it, he doesn’t love it, it just…passes by, such as a wave. he in no way minds it.
simple as that.
but today you want him to teach you how to skate, and he’s undeniably excited for that.
you seemed so too, yet not at all in the way you came off whenever enjin took you out (he would hope so! this wasn’t a date).
there was never a strict schedule, just whatever popped into your minds.
an cheap restaurant last monday.
bowling some random wednesday.
a simple walk just this thursday.
and pilates one time if he remembered correctly?
skating couldn’t have been that strange for you.
this was just you, eager to learn something you should’ve years ago. tamsy’s happy to help! you’re always worth his while.
“and how many times have you done this?”
you asked him as you tied the skates onto your feet, different scenarios of you face-planting already running through your head.
“just once.”
he watches as you freeze up a second, gawking at him with disbelief.
“i thought you were, like, an expert on this?”
he laughs.
“i’m still pretty good at it. are you nervous?”
you nod, yet still power through with the last lace on your skates.
if enjin were there he would probably smooth over your back, hype you up and say you’d do great, and you’d smile at him like the encouragement was the equivalent to wedding vows.
he couldn’t be here, anyways, cleaner duty called. it was the main reason tamsy figured you asked him, that and, he told you not too long ago just how much he enjoyed his day off skating.
you remembered, though it shouldn’t be a big deal.
“i’m not going to let you fall.”
he offers his hand, a beacon of light, helping you to your feet. you stand up with hesitation, your feet shifting slightly and hand gripping his even harder.
he feels your nails digging into his palm. he likes it.
when you opted to dig into his shoulder instead he smiled, watching you scramble as you slowly began to move.
inch by inch. roll by roll.
“wait…it’s not that bad.”
just as you say so, you stumble, steadying yourself onto a nearby bench instead of him. you huff, already frustrated.
it’d be funny, tamsy thought, to go as fast as he had mastered and pull you along, your shrieks cut off by the wind in his ears. even then you still wouldn’t fall, he’d maybe tease you more by letting you tip forward, but never would you touch the ground.
as he said, you were cute. it made the whole thing more fun.
“you don’t have to rush” he offered half-hearted consolation.
one other thing: you were a fast learner.
not fast enough for tamsy not to notice the gradual shift off his shoulder, but fast enough as to where you could keep up with him and show off with a few tricks.
you looked proud of yourself, the sun pouring off you as a reflection of such.
as he watched you, he noticed.
he’s never experienced the moment, where time slows down. where the person in front of him glows, seemingly levitating. where all he’s left is to be capsized, crushed by the sensation. right where he wanted to be.
many different lovers he’s caught in this moment, it was obvious by the look in their eyes. for the most part, it was you and enjin.
you never gave tamsy that feeling. he didn’t mind.
…but you did seem to be going at an alarmingly faster speed. which you didn’t seem to notice with your shriek of joy, that soon turned into a shriek of pure terror when you lost balance and toppled—backwards at that!
tamsy acted instantly.
one of his hands went to your back, the other hooking under your arm to reel you back up, extremely close to him. you grabbed his shoulders at first for relief, fingernails returning to their spot and arms then dropping awkwardly to hang mid-air.
this was an unsavory position. your knees were bent at some weird angle while your breath kept hitting his neck while you were trying to catch it.
still, you muttered out, “thank you.”
and for extra effort, “i got a little carried away!”
tamsy didn’t move an inch, didn’t even respond. he did feel you turn your head, confused into silence as well.
you smelled nice. sweet, just like the shampoo he sometimes sees in your grocery bags.
“….uhh..”
it’s strange. you’re strange.
how would he react if he saw tamsy holding you like this?
that’d be funny too.
abruptly he let go, laughing at you, and skated off.
HELLO FELLOW BLACK FANFIC WRITER!! if possible, can u write an august stilza x reader fic? it can be anything u wanna write tbh bc i dont wanna sound TOO picky,, but it can be wtvr u want to write!! if ur rlly stuck tho, maybe u can write abt august who loves his "personal model"! like js admiring how fashionable the reader is, or how graceful the reader looks while partaking in their hobby! idk, but smth deffo wholesome! (i would ask for a jabber fic again but i dont wanna sound greedy,, unlessss 👀👀/lh) ty for reading/considering my request!!
hiii, ty for this cute request! and don’t be afraid to ask for jabber fics i luv writing for him!!
❤︎ catching august in his free time ❤︎
august was such a busy man.
you knew such before officially dating him, but hours of him being locked up in his office and stacks of missions you had to tackle had you starving for alone time with your boyfriend. nearly pathetic, you tended to gaze at him like a wet cat.
holding stares when passing by or quick kisses could only get you by so far. bringing him lunch was a step-up, but you’d always have to leave soon after, looking over your shoulder and wishing you could just fall into his lap while he worked(if he didn’t happen to accidentally knock you off).
pure, sentimental alone time—even if for only an hour that’s all you needed.
luckily for you, august had plenty of spare time today!
he told you last night, sliding into your room and crawling over your sleeping body to nuzzle you awake and beg you to come visit him. groggily, with his face still buried in your neck, you promised to stop by.
and so, as said, you eagerly knocked on the door to his work space, in a way he could instantly tell it was you.
he slid it open, already donning a giddy blush and a smile that reached the eyes—so satisfying in the way it quenched something in you.
“heeyyaaa!!” he hugged you around the waist and pulled you in, letting the door slam shut behind him.
you didn’t even realize your feet left the ground until he started spinning you around, secretly begging he didn’t slip and solely upheld by his embrace. anywhere his mouth could reach, he gave a quick “muah!”, rambling about how much he missed you in between.
oh, you missed him too, so much so that when he brought you back down your arms still latched onto him.
“still want more?” he poked your cheek, times of you teasing him for being too clingy resurfacing in his head.
you ever so slightly pulled back, “i haven’t hugged you like this in days.”
you disregarded any notion of you simply being extra, or the memory that he was just clinging to you like a koala last night (you were practically asleep so it didn’t count). as long as he needed you all the same, you couldn’t care less about coming off dramatic.
you did care, though, about making the most with what you were given.
he filled your afternoon with rantings about his work and playlists he curated for you, always finding a way to keep at least a hand on you, like you were a magnet, a lifeline.
now you were sprawled out on the paper-flooded floor, fiddling with the blonde strands of hair spread out beneath him to make the ends form as hearts.
even like this, lazily tangled up in your limbs, feet nuzzling yours, august’s brain never slowed down. he talked your ears off, so much so it became on par with white noise.
“it’s crazy,” his gloved finger tilted your chin to fully face him, laying it against a stray paper, “every time i see you, you get cuter and cuter!”
the compliment itself, while not very much new, still made you giggle out of flattery. august always made damn sure to sweet talk you, becoming one of his love languages outside of using you as a vision and physical touch.
you liked to leech to him too, pull his goggles up over him and ask him to show his face more, bring him food whenever he got so into the groove of his work—but you staggered a little when it came to words.
does he know how much he means to you?
“and the other day you looked—“
“i love you.”
the corners of his mouth hiked up.
“you know that, right? like, so, so much.”
“‘course i do!” he turned over onto his stomach(sadly damaging the progress and your hair hearts) crossing his arms and resting his head in between.
“when i went into your room last night you were mumbling my name, you probably thought the stuffed animal you were clutching was me!”
“quit breaking into my room!” you flicked his forehead.
“quit leaving it unlocked!”
he flicked yours back, savoring how pretty your laughter made you.
until you had to leave he kept you right where he wanted, close as possible, tangled up in ways that seemed inhuman to any onlooker.
you always looked so beautiful under the dim lighting of whatever restaurant he took you out to, eyes lighting up every time you laughed and hand fitting so perfectly against his forearm whenever you reached out to touch it.
he wasn’t any expert on dating or flirting, but seeing how happy the both of you always were together, he knew he was doing something right.
he’d usually walk around town with you after, stopping for quick dessert or whatever pretty little thing had caught your attention in the windowsill. maybe just sit with you on a secluded bench if he didn’t feel like returning to HQ yet.
and as of now, your arm is linked with his, gushing about how much you enjoyed spending time with him as he stared at you with enough adoration to nip at your heart.
gris knows he’s a lucky man.
then, unregistered at first, it comes down on the tip of his nose. a small raindrop, preceding more to come.
he notices you slow and pause after a few land on you as well, holding out your hand to double-check. and as if on signal, those small drops turned into full-on rainfall.
instinctively you throw your hands up to cover your head.
“damn! i didn’t even think to bring a—“
as fast as he manages to get his jacket off, gris drapes it over your head, hand tilting your head to the side so he can see your face, make sure you’re okay.
if you could, you’d pick him up and nuzzle into his chest, singing about how sweet he was.
“gris…you’re soaked” you reach up to move a wet lock of hair from his right eye.
“don’t worry about me,” his hand moves down to your back, gently rushing you along, “you can run to the van, right?”
even with your concern for his drenched clothing and nearly tripping over a curb(he wouldn’t dare to let you fall), you giggle the entire time running back. he never lets go of you.
jabber was fully gone—in a way that made him question how things were this perfect.
he thinks about you all the time! so much that he just can’t help but rant about you to his fellow raiders. he’ll prop himself up by the elbows and sway his head, getting lost in the own words he speaks about you.
they don’t give a shit. oh well. as long as it meant you were all his.
and at this point, he’s hopeless, cause he’s considering walking out of base to go find you on his own terms.
you’d probably punch him before he could even get a “hello” out. so perfect.
he’s obsessed with you, he needs you, but he doesn’t know if he’s in love with you. he was never into someone like this to know so.
so this time, he asks you, mid-battle.
“you think we’d be cute together?”
hah! he wishes he can replay the moment you froze and your face contorted into many different ways of saying “what the hell!” at once.
“wha?” you nearly fumble your jinki.
“like, picture us holding hands, cuddling—all that other cute couple shit. think it’d work?”
you think he’s joking at first, just trying to rile you up. but one good look at his face and he’s reading dead serious, which only made things more confusing.
you should yell “no way!”, shut the idea down while it’s still fresh. but when you, admittedly, took the time to think about it, it’d be a lie to say you hated it—it was thrilling in its own way. instead it comes out as:
“you’re a raider.”
“soo, no?”
seconds later he’s eating dirt, head twisting just to get a glance at the scene of you, brows furrowed and lip bitten in concentration.
⋆‧°𓏲ּ𝄢 tiny snippets of days zanka stops by to help you tidy up your messy room!
ˎˊ˗ w/c 3k
you had your habits, just like anyone else, whether they be good, bad or somewhere magically in between.
checking in on guita and dear every time you returned from a mission(super good! they adored you!).
falling asleep on the common room couches when you were too tired to get up(so and so).
the encouraged idea of locking your door tending to frequently slip your mind(ehhh..you could do better).
most prominently, to both you and those who passed by, was the utter messiness of your room.
bedsheets unmade, clothes scattered around, trinkets often catching your feet as victim, unread books screaming for you, glitter here, stickers there!—it was just absolute disorder.
but, hey, it was all yours—your chaotic haven to let loose, dance around, and live out your blissful youth until the next mission call arrived. in all your time there you had gotten used to it, perhaps a little too desensitized.
your fellow cleaners mostly kept their opinions, seeing you had nothing on the stuff they witnessed day to day.
no one who knew of it really cared, though.
well, at least, until zanka took his first steps past your door.
you were hovering over your desk, rummaging for papers when you heard him knock. softly, like he was at the interval where he was second guessing on coming in.
“it’s already unlocked!” you called out.
“…’course it is.”
you couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be said to himself thanks to the thin walls of HQ, but you truly couldn’t detect any underlying snark.
the door cracked open, and he stepped in, only taking notice to you at first.
then it dawned on him.
“oh, oh wow—“ he nearly stumbled over trying to avoid a stranded shoe, clutching lovely assistaff for grounding.
he took a moment to take it all in, eyes spontaneously flickering back to you to confirm something internally.
“and this is your room?” he asked anyways, disbelief laced inbetween.
“why wouldn’t it be?” you giggled, stepping over to him.
“ok, y’know what” he straightened himself back up, regaining composure, “it’s none of my business.”
“cool, so what did you—“
“is it just like this everyday??”
you crossed your arms, truly believing in the moment he was overreacting. but with being a little too in your head lately, one moment to process and look around had you catching up to months of carelessly tossed clothes.
had it always been this bad?
“uhm…ok, chill out” you bit the inside of your cheek, “i got a little carried away!”
a little? he mouthed, poorly concealed.
“you don’t gotta freak out, i’ll clean it!”
another look around. how had it gotten this bad?
“…eventually.”
your voice came out meek, prompting him to try and smooth things out. so while rubbing the back of his neck, he apologized.
“look, i don’t mean to be a jerk about it.”
when you said nothing in response it only seemed to get him more frantic.
it wasn’t like his reaction hurt you, more so the tiring yet unsure vision of how long it was going to take you to—
“i’ll help you” he stated, abruptly.
or just maybe…
“i’ll help you move things around, sort through ‘em—whatever you need really.”
“and are you asking or demanding?”
“do ya want my help or not?!”
you subtly smirked, secretly debating if you should bear hug him for sparing you loads of labor, or at least, half of such. or maybe just a tiny bit.
how much did he plan to do again?
“that’d be really sweet of you.”
“…sweet” he repeated, letting the word replay in his head. again and again. not at all strange for whenever you complimented him.
sooner or later he was gone, not even mentioning why he came in the first place, but at least leaving a parting gift of anticipation.
change of mind—you could definitely look forward to this.
────୨ৎ
zanka was cute. realll, cute. if you said so to his face he’d probably deny it, but that’d only help your cause.
you had always harbored a soft crush on him(all the daydreams of playing with his hair and squeezing his cheeks hadn’t meant nothing) so of course you looked forward to what he had proposed. he never did tell you what he initially came in for, but he certainly made sure to hold up on his word.
he was back, smack dab in the middle of your room, same time as he was the day before. a total fish out of water.
he asked you for where to start, in his mind hoping that you would handle the more…personal parts of you room.
as of now he was located at your desk, facing the mess of papers and pens head on. from watching him he still seemed nervous, handling the stack with such rigidness as if something was going to jump out from underneath and get him.
that raised a question.
“why are you doing this again?” you wondered, zero ill intent.
“‘cause” he said, not sounding convinced of himself.
“that’s not an answer.”
still avoiding your question, he continued.
“but i figured you would hold up yer end of this,” he motioned a hand to your idle place on your bed, “you’ve just been watchin’ me the whole…time.”
when his words faltered towards the end you peered over his shoulder, thinking in a panic he had found something embarrassing.
“wha…what is this?” he breathed out slowly, lifting up a small doodle of none other than himself.
“it’s you, silly” you walked over, pointing out the scribble of his name in the corner.
of course, how could he not notice the heart right next to it.
“i have one of riyo too. oh, and rudo!” you pulled out the other two akuta members from the pile, “aren’t they just the cutest?”
right…it was only just a hobby. ignoring the slightly overwhelming feeling of disappointment, it was hard to do the same to that glaring heart.
he swore it was screaming his name.
zanka! zanka! zanka!
you noticed the pink tint settling on his face, but chose to simply just hold onto the sight.
“a-anyways!” he attempted to save face, “what do you even plan to do with half this stuff?”
“dunno. that’s why you’re here! to help me decide!”
“to help you—what? no, i said i would help you—“
he gave up when he saw an idea spark behind your eyes, deciding to settle on a huff of mild frustration.
“i could like, give some of it away.”
“that’d be good.”
“you want anything here?”
does he want anything?? his immediate answer would be no, but after taking a scope around strictly for your sake…
“…nah.”
“seriously? nothing?”
“i mean, i don’t see anything.”
you stopped. then once more, that spark came back.
“ooo! hold up!”
zanka watched cautiously as you hurried to your beside table and opened a drawer, dipping your hands in to scoop out a handful of mildly priced rings.
“pretty right? i got these not too long ago, guess i just forgot about them” you came back to him, squinting at the shade of blue on his own earrings.
“what? is something on them?” his hand began to reach for the tassels.
“no, they’re perfect! see? same color?”
just as stated, the ring you held up to his face was identical to the colors of his earrings. when you waved it back and forth, proud to have rediscovered it, he could tell just how badly you wanted him to take it.
“wanna try them on?”
there was zero reason not to.
“sure.”
when you held your hand out, he was instantly confused, but a few tiny gestures towards his own free hand and he got the hint.
oh. yeah, no big deal.
he should’ve learned to stop underestimating the effect you had on him weeks ago. as soon as your hands touched he froze up, begging he wouldn’t make a fool of himself and turn red from such little contact.
oh, who the hell was he kidding! this wasn’t little contact, this was—was, well you were practically holding hands!
oh god.
his hand fit oh-so perfectly in yours. with every movement of your finger he felt another “pow!” of an arrow being shot through his heart.
“they fit you perfectly!” you rolled a couple onto his fingers, gushing, “y’know, this color looks really good on you.”
taking down trash beasts and raiders was one thing. you were another.
zanka nijiku wasn’t built for this.
abruptly he stepped back.
“huh? is something—“ you eyed one of the rings as it fell to the floor below you, gaze lifting back up when you heard the hurried shuffle of footsteps.
…the dude left!
before you even had the moment to process he scurried out, shutting the door behind him. one the other side he shut his eyes tight, hoping the walls between you could shield him from whatever effect you had on him.
so damn wrong. you could reach him no matter what.
────୨ৎ
“do you listen to music, zanka?”
his head perked up, grip on the bag in his hands softening.
“uhh, not really.”
you weren’t surprised. you barely knew any of the guys’ hobbies outside of training. yet, you did know the way he naturally acted when he tried to hide his delight for something.
like how he seemed to be unknowingly moving his shoulders and throwing an occasional head nod along to the music you had playing. you’d tamper with the volume every so often, turning it down to see if he faltered or turning it up to spot if his movements became more obvious.
both proved to be true. so wondrously true.
“what’re you giggling at?” zanka noticed you cheesing in the background.
“wha? i was giggling?”
well, of course you were! he looked so adorably silly, in this moment and in the made up image of him full on dancing in your head. you could probably teach him if he let you. he’d probably trip and get flustered over your laughs, but he’d get it eventually.
“can you at least sing?”
“not at all.”
you’d have to take him to karaoke sometime too.
ever since his small freak-out a couple days ago(it was best not to bring it up again) by the power of you, zanka, and somewhat smooth teamwork, you’d managed to tackle a loose estimate of half the stray stuff in your room. cheers to the both of you!
he’d been strangely hyper-focused this entire time, acting as a master of sorting, bagging and wiping down dust(he even arranged the figurines on your windowsill by height!). you didn’t mind at all, as long as he could break and loosen up every once in a while.
in hopes of doing so, the other day you brought him a small glass of pink lemonade, a small note hanging from the glass:
thanks a ton for helping me out!
i’ve had so much fun hanging out with you these past few days, hope we can do it more often!
<3 kisses!
after a damn near hour of asking what “kisses!” meant in this situation(he’s evolved from hearts) he thanked you, the flattery greatly showing on his features.
he was unfairly cute. you’d write a million more notes just to see that look on his face over and over and keep it all to yourself. you were selfish whenever it came down to him, holding him longer than originally needed in your room.
“zankaaa” you yawned.
“you already tired?”
“for the most part” you interlocked your fingers to stretch you arms, “just do one more thing for me real quick?”
“sure.”
“i think that couch would look much better over there.”
he nodded and followed you to the corner where your petite sofa sat, nearly empty from the pile of clothes that were on it mere hours ago. both at separate ends you lifted it together, slowly inching to the opposite corner. you watched zanka the entire time as he moved, his nose scrunched and eyes squinted in concentration.
it was a reminder to you of how delicate he had been with every single item in your room, scared to break it, scared to destroy anything you possibly loved.
how tooth-rottingly sweet. you’d giggle and kick your feet to all of it later.
“yeah! right there’s good.”
you both let go at the same time, the couch landing with a tiny plop. when he wiped the dust of his hands and fixed his mouth to say goodbye, your smile dropped.
you didn’t want him to leave. not yet.
“sit.”
“huh?”
“just real quick” you sat on the nearest cushion, full intent to keep him there as long as your wits permitted.
he did so, slowly, not because he was scared, but because he couldn’t think of anything outside of cleaning that would make you ask him to stay.
it was pretty simple. you liked him enough to where missing him physically hurt.
it wasn’t anything of a deep conversation(you were too tired for all of that) but you did enjoy simply sitting and talking. every so often you would take a feather out of the ripped pillow behind you and blow it towards him, watching it either land on his hair or face.
he didn’t always show it(the fake nonchalant act didn’t fly by you!) but he always enjoyed when you playfully teased him. you knew how to make him laugh in your own way.
maybe he should tell you that. so gathering up the courage all in one breath zanka turned towards you.
oh, you were totally out.
your mouth was slightly agape, peacefully letting your tiredness catch up to you. your head lolled off to the opposite side of zanka’s shoulder, disappointment hitting him instantly.
he wished you fell asleep on him instead. he would freak out and face the challenge of trying not to move, but overall he’d love every second of it.
the thought of leaving was a ghost now. it was perfectly serene in your room, perfectly warm.
he stayed still letting himself enjoy your music, until he drifted off too.
────୨ৎ
oh. that was a huge difference.
you were unsure at first if it would last long in such state, taking a picture and mounting it to remember this rare moment seemed like the best bet.
until you grasped you could actually move around freely without having to worry about tripping hazards, lay on your bed without a pointy object nipping you in the butt—or, hell, it even seemed like there was more air to breathe.
in the end of it all it still felt like you. so yeah, different, but not in a strange way.
“looks nice.”
you peered to your side to see zanka’s small smile and faintly tinted cheeks, clearly proud of what you’ve both done.
that was when you realized you were sad in certain areas. remaining excuses for zanka to keep coming to your room running thin. perhaps you could scuffle things up again? but then that would feel like a romantically-driven middle finger to all your hard work.
was it too late for that bear hug?
“you ok?” zanka’s voice brought you back.
he looked over you, expecting a smile that matched his in satisfaction.
“m’fine, just think i deserve a prize for my hard work” you half made-up.
“your hard work? what about me?”
“well…it is my room after all.”
he laughed, softly.
“yea, ok, whaddaya want?”
you really did think about it. with all your efforts, you truly only wanted one thing in that moment, that had admittedly been on your mind for weeks.
“long as it’s nothing over—“
“a kiss.”
that instantly got him—straight to his heart!
it was like you could see the millions of thoughts rushing behind his eyes at once, pulling a giggle out of you, which in all of this was absolute music to his ears.
you could admit that was too bold. if you could describe it as a joke then…
“ha! i’m just—“
he got you back when he dove in to graze your cheek, the apparent kiss barely even connecting.
your first thought was, well, nothing. it was too unbelievable to process.
then, seconds after, your smile spread. for all your erupting emotions, for all of zanka’s panic, and simply because it was something you couldn’t control in the moment.
would it be dramatic to scream and jump until you hit the ceiling?
“i’ve…uhh, been meanin’ to say that” zanka tried, once he finally snapped out of it.
“say what?”
right. nothing actually came out of his mouth other than a gasp at himself when he pulled away.
so, here goes.
“that you’re very nice, and cute, and…” he shifted on his feet, “i like your smile.”
just a little more and you could die happily on the spot!
his hand reached out to your shoulder, holding it gentle yet firm, thumb idly brushing over it.
“do you get what m’trying to say?” he said, not any louder than a whisper.
you did. if words failed the longing expression he wore undoubtedly did.
your eyes lingered over to where his hand laid on your shoulder, contemplating taking it in your own hands and going kiss for kiss.
that’d be sweet, but not right in this moment. zanka would probably explode at any second.
“i think you’re trying to say,” you noticed his grip slightly tighten, “that you’re madly in love with me. to the point where you’d dive head first off a cliff and run into traffic—“
“i!—i never said all that!”
“that’s why i’m saying it for you! you don’t gotta worry, i feel the exact same way.”
“saying it for—wait, for real?”
as a way of confirmation you reached your hand up to his tinted cheek, taking a moment to squeeze it and savor his confused reaction.
“you’ll be back tomorrow, yea?”
“yeah.”
until the next book toppled over your shelf, you’d have zanka here just because.
maybe it’s because of his upbringing, how his own siblings would look at him with such disdain. how he had never felt a warm embrace, a kiss on the cheek.
he yearned for something like that, any kind of connection would make him happy.
but once he started dating you, he realized all of that neglect was starting to catch up to him and make him act off towards you. he loves you, of course he does! zanka never goes out of his way to lie to people, hes straightforward.
but he’s never told you that. he’s never hugged you tightly, or kissed you. he’s never gently grazed his hand over your face just to feel your soft cheek against his skin.
that was starting to bother you.
the both of you were sitting, just talking in his room while he was gently grazing his assistaff.
“..really glad i picked it,” he gazed down at it and smiled gently. “i don’t know where i’d be without it.“
“…do you love me zanka?” he didn’t immediately turn to you, but you saw him pause and his eyes slightly widen. he glanced over at you. “..why are you asking?”
“you’ve never said it.” you looked down at your hands, feeling tears well up in your eyes just from the fact he didn’t give you a straight answer.
now zanka could be oblivious at times, but for you he was attentive. he noticed how your voice cracked as you spoke, and set the staff down.
he turned his body to face you, and sat there for a few seconds. you couldn’t see, but his ears were red and he was mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do.
he grabbed your hands, firmly for a moment but then he’d thought it was too rough so his grip softened. that made you look up at him, and his shoulders tensed at your saddened gaze.
“i um…i know i don’t say it,” his lips trembled as he spoke. “but you’re real…really special. okay? it’s just..hard for me to do things y’know? with my family…” you nodded, a small smile on your face to show that you know.
“but ‘m really tryin’. for you. i want you to know that.” he looked down at his hands, and now you could see how quickly he got flustered just from a reassuring speech.
“don’t worry zan…i get it. it’s hard to stomach sometimes but..i’ll be here to help you heal.” the grip he had on your hands tightened and he glanced back up at you. “..thank you.”
and with his hands trembling, your gorgeous eyes looking up at him, and the sound of the harsh wind hinting the window, zanka pressed a quick and soft kiss to your forehead.
it’s been two times you’ve had an encounter with jabber.
three times he’s checked you out in the middle of battle.
five times you caught him boring eyes into your skull in this very fight.
yeah, you were counting—because it was getting downright unfathomable.
was it a hidden talent? the way he would be so dead-set on battle and shift in an instant to becoming all about you.
“heyyy!! where’ya going?!” he runs after you, laughing, beaming, as if you guys were playing on the shore of a beach.
you stop in your tracks to whip around, gaining full view of how electrified he looked to see you. again.
“ya can’t just leave me hanging like that!” he smiles, so casual, like his tone towards you.
“why don’t you go fight someone else?” you huff.
“ehhh” he actually seems to think about it for a second, until your eyebrows furrow even more and solidify him sticking to you.
“no way.”
he tracks your hand as it reaches for your jinki, anticipating, blocking out the faint sound of someone yelling for him to focus in on the background.
then on came the good stuff, getting the full blast of the fire in your eyes and the adrenaline that bubbled up in him.
you raise your jinki, jabber freezing at the slightest bit of skin that became exposed when your top inched up.
“you’re killing me here.”
because damn you’re so strong. the way you move, the way you handle things, the way you spit your words at him—it’s got him fully wrapped around your finger.
he knows he can handle all of that.
two more times of this, he figures, until he’s captured you too.
dazed. bliss. in a place between space and time where all that existed was you, him, and your lips.
palms starting to sweat as he cupped your face, one hand roaming down to grip your waist. pulling away only to mumble how lucky he was to have you.
hoping a kiss transmits all the other things he can’t say, while also simply immersing in how you made him feel. hoping he could make this last forever.
if you were to hold his hand while doing so, he’d remember to breathe. you were here, you were real, and you weren’t going anywhere.
when it came down to it, zanka couldn’t lie; being alone in your arms was always something to look forward to. the warmth, the belonging, the closeness—feelings that were exclusive to you, feelings that stayed with him even when he wasn’t around you. in the van on the way back from missions, he’s already thinking about nestling into you.
one, itty bitty issue: he wasn’t great at it.
“zankaa” you groan, head rising a little from his chest, “stop moving so much.”
“sorry, sorry” he weakly offers, knowing he’ll probably shuffle again in near moments.
he can’t help how he stiffens up, or how sometimes his head rests at an uncomfortable angle, or how his leg would feel much, much better if he moved it a few inches.
sometimes he even moves you, assuming you’re uncomfortable or that you could somehow hear his heart rapidly beating in his chest, caused by how flustered and anxious he was.
on top of that, he wasn’t sure where to place his hands—they felt awkward no matter where he moved it to.
he tried your elbow once, pulling utter confusion from you.
“what’re you doing?”
“i’m…uh…you don’t like that?” his breath hitched.
you blinked, realizing he was serious. a small laugh escaped from you as you reached for his arm, properly wrapping it around you.
“much better” you sealed it off with a kiss to his shoulder.
“c’monnnn, just tell them they look nice!” enjin nudged a hesitant gris’ shoulders, beginning to near impatience.
“would that be too blunt?”
“jeez, i didn’t take you for the shy type.”
from the day you came along to the cleaners a few months ago, gris had been unable to shake you from his mind.
you had been so, so sweet from the moment you met him, a tiny work crush blossoming into full on yearning—the type that had him tripping over his words and feet.
“i’m too old to be acting like this.” gris massaged his temple, taking another glance at you on the other side of the bar.
you were in your own world, carefree and radiant, your relaxed smile reaching him from across the room.
it was so simple right? all he had to do was get up, walk over, throw an awkward thumbs up, and shoot a couple of words, hoping they’d land well.
“you look lovely.”
“that color looks amazing on you.”
“i can’t take my eyes off you.”(too much?)
anything. he knew he was rusty after not having been with someone in a couple years, but it shouldn’t go that south.
in the words of enjin, he just needed a little push.
“pssssttttt! hey—hey! they’re looking over here! at you!” enjin whisper-shouted.
gris snapped out of his head, your gaze and amiable wave hitting him with an inevitable—wham!
he waved back, thankful that you took initiative and decided to walk over to him first.
“hey” you started.
“hi.”
you awkwardly swayed, trying to ignore enjin poorly pretending not to be listening in.
“y’know i’ve been busy with missions all week and haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you lately” you inched a bit closer, “it’s nice to see you.”
“yeah, really nice—“
enjin’s exaggerated cough cut through his sentence.
“you look nice! i mean, more than nice you’re…stunning.”
he could feel his heartbeat in his ears as he awaited your response.
“thank you! you look nice too.”
it came out small, a little shy but still ringing in his ears. a grin just as goofy as it was wide took over his face.
this whole thing was mostly new to enjin. sure he’s held open doors and given away jackets before, but when he became official with you the sudden surge in chivalry was unexplainable even to him.
a way to prove himself maybe? he wasn’t too sure. but he knew he lived for your face whenever he did such acts.
the smile that read all kinds of thank you’s when he offered his shoulder for you to rest on or the flustered expression when he carried you over unavoidable puddles.
but you could never go wrong with the basics, and the art of opening doors for you never lost itself.
especially on dates, like now.
you looked—in a way he could put all his thoughts into a few words—like an absolute dream. levels above his league.
so yeah, the urge to impress took over.
on the way out, he opens your side of the van as usual, watching you get in, exchanging a few words—until he goes to close it, the door slamming on a misplaced finger.
“shit!”
he pulled it back just as quick as you called his name, full of concern.
“are you ok?”
“it’s all good, barely even slammed it…that hard” he nodded off the mild throbbing.
“you sure? maybe i should drive back—“
“nah, i got it.”
you squinted your eyes, watching him as he came around, sliding behind the wheel. as soon as he settled, you reached out to check his finger.
“see? told you it wasn’t bad” he smiled, trying to elevate the mood.
“just be more careful?”
“i just love it when you get all concerned over me.”
you snorted, fanning him away as he swooned.
he drove on, still making it a duty to open your door when you arrived back to HQ.