The Suspicious Private Detective

Psst. Beyond, hey, guess what? I love you. (◕‿◕✿)

"I was under the assumption you had gone home. Apparently I was mistaken. What a shame.”

Be. My. Fucking. Husband. щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

"No."

I heard that Chacha was a slut.

"It’s very ironic to hear that coming from you. Perhaps you should reevaluate your life choices and reconsider accusing others for the very crimes you’re guilty of.”

"Well, I’m soooooooooo sorry that she seems to prefer wrapping her fanny around dicks instead of her mouth, but again, I’m only an innocent bystander in all of this. Please forgive my shoddy information gathering.”

[ ALSO HORRIFICALLY CENSORED. ]

"In all genuine seriousness though— you don’t think this image speaks for itself?"

"That's not even Chacha. That's Yakko. Please stop spreading misinformation. Your ignorance is difficult to stomach."

shewillnotdie-deactivated201609

Evening Tunes.

#Scream;

// SO, basically what you're saying is: "No matter how shitty the conditions may be, I'm pretty much good-looking enough for my attractiveness to shine through and make everything look like a glamour shot." ;) ;) ;)

// …No, I’m saying I’m a liar, and you’re a very lovely anon.

#Encounter;#OutOfCallousness;#Anonymous;

Psst. Beyond, hey, guess what? I love you. (◕‿◕✿)

"I was under the assumption you had gone home. Apparently I was mistaken. What a shame.”

NO!!! MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

"This is undoubtedly the most painful proposal I've ever had the misfortune of enduring."

I heard that Chacha was a slut.

"It’s very ironic to hear that coming from you. Perhaps you should reevaluate your life choices and reconsider accusing others for the very crimes you’re guilty of.”

"….."

[ HORRIFICALLY CENSORED. ]

"...."

"....That's not the correct method of performing fellatio. Technically, your argument is still unsupported."

Psst. Beyond, hey, guess what? I love you. (◕‿◕✿)

"I was under the assumption you had gone home. Apparently I was mistaken. What a shame.”

…?! W-wha… but… why not…? ∑(゜Д゜;)

"I can't think of a single reason to marry you. I don't even understand why you brought it up in the first place."

I heard that Chacha was a slut.

"It’s very ironic to hear that coming from you. Perhaps you should reevaluate your life choices and reconsider accusing others for the very crimes you’re guilty of.”

"Crimes? Me? I’m not so sure if I understand where you’re coming from, B. I’ve done nothing but beahved myself recently. All I’m saying is that I’ve heard a juicy rumor floating around somewhere stating that… your dear, beloved Chacha may or may not like sucking cock. If you want someone to take it up with, blame the person who started the fire, not the one who smelled the smoke.”

"In other words: there’s no need to be so seeeeerious, now is there.”

"Please provide sufficient evidence to support both claims before attempting to continue this conversation."

Psst. Beyond, hey, guess what? I love you. (◕‿◕✿)

"I was under the assumption you had gone home. Apparently I was mistaken. What a shame.”

Will you marry me now, pretty boy? (▰˘◡˘▰)

"No."

#Encounter;#OutOfCallousness;#Anonymous;#// Ty boo xxxxxx

How do you feel about other serial killers? Do you see them as your brethren, competitors...? Is there anyone worth idolizing the work of?

"Neither. I don’t feel any kind of connection to them purely because we both happened to have broken similar laws. We share the trait of having blood on our hands, but that doesn’t make me obligated to see them as some form of companions. As long as my case stood out enough to be noticed, I never had any reason to see them as rivals, either. I won’t claim to be disinterested in other, similar cases, whether they be ongoing or from the past, but considering my location of upbringing, that could hardly be considered abnormal. That’s just a requirement of being a detective, and especially a noteworthy one. However, there are no killers I idolize. My work was entirely my own creation, and it was in no way influenced by anyone I’d read or seen about before. I had no desire to recreate someone else’s work by my own hand. That case was solely between L and myself; I needed no additional inspiration. The simple fact is that my motive was entirely unique, and that prevents me from being easily comparable to other killers.”

#Encounter;#Anonymous;

// whooooooooaaaaaa, how did the mun get so attractive?! :o

// Two bags full of make-up, a wig that covers most of my face, very, VERY intentionally bad lighting, a webcam with atrocious quality, and by holding my face at the exact same angle for all of my gif-making sessions.

(I’m a lot less attractive when I attempt to communicate, so it helps that gifs are silent, too.)

Psst. Beyond, hey, guess what? I love you. (◕‿◕✿)

"I was under the assumption you had gone home. Apparently I was mistaken. What a shame.”

But, Beyond… (◡‿◡✿)

……..

……………….

……… … ….

…

I̴͕̣͚̖͔̱͍͗͜ ̮̇̑ͧͯ̽̑A͌ͪͩͣͬ͐́̐͜҉͕͚͉̫̺͝M̜̞̠̦̹̞͔̖̃̋͒̀̓ͧ̍̀̚̕͘ ̛̬̮͙͍̣̠ͣ͘H̞̦̝̪̱̯̲ͤ̈́̂ͭ̐ͣ̅ͨ̀ͅO̧̱̻̞͓͎̺͓ͬ̑̃͘Ḿ̷̝͔̮͈͈̰̞͈͐́̚ͅE̙͇͙͉̔̌ͨ̂ͯ́ͅ (ʘ‿ʘ✿)