I love how the music of cowboy like me is essentially perfect for a first dance kind of heart-wrenchingly romantic song, but the words are about two misfits, or possibly con-people, finding each other at an event that they both feel out of place in (or perhaps haven’t been invited to) and still manage to find each other against both of their expectations and plans.
Anyway I wrote a canon AU merthur oneshot about that. If you want to check it out it’s in the reblogs.
And it’s not that it’s exactly unreasonable. Being Lena Luthor’s assistant is no cake walk. Jess has been shot at. She’s been almost blown up on more than one occasion. She’s worked all the hours god sends and then some. Hell, she’s got the chief detective of NCPD’s major crimes unit on speed dial.
She has, at various times and with varying degrees of success, played the roles of bodyguard, nutritionist, nurse, therapist, and drinking buddy. She’s seen Lena in every shade and hue of human emotion; coaxed her through crisis after crisis with warm words and a kind smile and never once let her miss a meeting.
So, Jess doesn’t really mind accepting the generous salary. Has even made peace with the borderline obscene bonuses Lena likes to toss her way around Christmas, or her birthday, or any time Jess introduces her to a new kale recipe.
She’s not arrogant, but she’s not prone to under-selling herself either. She knows Lena values her, knows she’s integral to keeping L-Corp’s CEO afloat and thus, to the running of the whole operation. And more than that, she knows her own worth. Takes pride in the work she does.
So she’ll take the paycheck, and the late nights and the missed meals and all the other things that come part and parcel with employment in National City’s most conspicuous company.
And if those other things come to include a front row ticket to the tragicomedy of her boss’ relationship with a certain blonde reporter, so be it. She’s not about to quit, after all. Once she’d gotten a taste of sleeping on Egyptian cotton bed sheets, there was no going back.
-
It started with the unrestricted office access.
Actually, it started when Lena allergic-to-the-press Luthor first asked her to put in a call to the biggest news outlet in town to request a private meeting with one of their junior reporters, but Jess lets that one slide.
(She’s got her own hunk of a man to go home to every night, yet even she’s not immune to Miss Danvers’ button down and slacks combo, to her earnest blue eyes and eager charm. Lena can’t be blamed for falling under that spell, nor for the hypnotic allure of the muscles straining beneath those demure cardigans. She’s only human, after all.)
But adding Kara Danvers to the list of people to be waved straight into her boss’ office with no checks – or rather, creating said list, which to this day consists of precisely one name – was what really sealed the deal. It was portentous in every sense of the word, a harbinger of what was to come.
Since that fateful day, Jess has seen more of Lena and Kara’s relationship than she’s sure any of the three of them would ideally prefer.
At first, it was the interviews. They’d been fishy enough in themselves; sure, Lena Luthor is objectively interesting. But three separate articles in the span of two weeks? No one’s that interesting.
After the interviews, it was the lunch dates. The first time she’d interrupted one of those she’d almost fallen over her own feet in shock. The sight of Lena Luthor – the same Lena Luthor that Jess had, on more than one occasion, needed to actively bribe into ingesting anything other than espresso and scotch in a fourteen hour workday – licking burger grease off her fingers and happy as a clam, had thrown her off for the whole rest of the day.
(Lena had long since instructed Jess to just stick her head into her office without knocking if she needed her. “Things can go to hell far too quickly around here to waste time with buzzers and intercoms,” she’d said with a self-deprecating smile.
If only Jess had known then what she knows now, she might have put up more of a fight on that front.)
The lunch dates had gotten longer, and more frequent, and decidedly more intimate. A year after the reporter’s first appearance at L-Corp it had become commonplace for Jess to walk into her boss’ office to find the two of them slanted close together on the couch, Lena’s heels discarded, her stockinged feet tucked beneath the blonde’s thigh.
Then, Kara started showing up at 7pm to drag Lena away from her desk at a reasonable hour. Started dropping by on her way to Catco before work too, fumbling coffees and pastries in her blushing grip.
(She always brought a latte for Jess along with Lena’s regular order. Of all the developments, that was certainly one of the most welcome.)
She got to know Kara, as the years went on. Was pleased to discover that she truly was as delightful as she seemed. And it was nice to finally have an ally in her ongoing battle to regulate her boss’ shockingly unhealthy work habits. She and Kara could tag-team their efforts, trading off caffeine duty and playing bad cop to get Lena to leave the office before midnight. It meant that Jess had finally, occasionally, gotten a day off.
It didn’t escape her notice that Kara was always there on the bad days. She showed up like clockwork after every ruthless smear campaign against L-Corp, every stock market plummet, every assassination attempt. She would enter the office to find Lena crying and she would leave with the dark haired woman tucked securely against her side, if not smiling then at least calm. At least hopeful.
And Kara was there on the good days, too. The mergers and the product launches and the prototype successes; she celebrated every one of Lena’s triumphs as if they were her own. And Lena, Lena lit up when Kara was around. Bloomed like a rare flower beneath the megawatt glare of Kara’s sunshine devotion.
Her boss never said so in so many words, nor did Jess ever walk in on anything directly incriminating. But it was clear to anyone with eyes exactly what was happening between the two women, exactly where it would lead.
And then one day, Kara wasn’t there anymore.
-
The effect was as obvious as it was immediate.
Lena started coming in early and staying late, if she left the office at all. She barely ate. Her face was pale and drawn, and Jess would often enter her office to find her boss’ eyes red-rimmed.
It became glaringly, painfully obvious that without Kara dropping by at all hours of the day and night, no one was coming to visit Lena.
Her boss became closed-off and withdrawn, more so even than when Jess had first started at L-Corp. Gone were their weekly gossip sessions about the crotchety old men Lena couldn’t yet oust from the company’s board. Gone was her boss’ openness about her own life or her interest in Jess’, her frequent requests for photos of her cats or updates on the master’s in computer science she was studying for in the evenings evaporating into thin air.
Lena did not want to talk about it. Jess was informed of this emphatically and repeatedly whenever she would tentatively reach out, and slowly she stopped trying.
The closest they ever came to acknowledging the elephant in the room was the night of L-Corp’s annual fundraiser at the Luthor Children’s Hospital. Once the gala was over, Jess had run back to the office to drop off the donation paperwork in the company safe only to notice a faint light beneath Lena’s office door.
She’d entered to find Lena hunched on the floor of her private bathroom, heels kicked off and hair falling out of its intricate updo, mascara streaking her cheeks as she sobbed into her hands. Jess hadn’t hesitated for even a second before sinking down beside her.
Wrapping a secure arm around her boss’ shoulders and smoothing the flyaway hairs from her flushed face, she’d tried her best to convey the support and reassurance that Lena had so consistently shown to her. But the young woman had brushed off her platitudes even as the tears had continued to fall.
“It’s not okay,” she’d hiccupped against Jess’ shoulder, the scotch evident on her breath. “She’s gone. I won’t ever get her back.”
And that’s all she would say on the matter. Eventually, the tears had dried up and the exhaustion had set in and Jess had chaperoned her all the way back to her apartment and into bed.
Lena had shown up for work the next day in a pair of oversize aviators, clinging to her triple shot extra-large americano like a lifeline. She’d dropped a latte on Jess’ desk with a rueful smile, and that had been that. They never talked about it again.
-
That whole dark period only cemented the strong protective streak Jess had been cultivating over her boss ever since the very first attempt on her life.
It’s just that Lena is strong, and smart as hell and unfailingly kind and utterly undeserving of the punishment the world keeps foisting on her for her family’s sins. And worse, she’s not prepared to fight back. She just accepts it, internalises the hatred and the burden and the blame and Jess cannot, will not watch it happen. So sue her if she’s a little hyper-vigilant, a little possessive.
And so when Kara Danvers had shown up again one unassuming Tuesday, Jess intercepted her trajectory at Lena’s office door with narrowed eyes and a suspicious glare.
It must have been effective – she’d learned from stone cold boardroom killer Lena Luthor, after all – because the reporter shrank back a little beneath the force of her stare. Kara cleared her throat nervously and Jess had been a split second from launching into a what are your intentions with my girl speech ripped straight from a bad 1980s teen movie when the door opened behind her and Lena appeared.
“It’s fine, Jess,” her boss murmured and she had, reluctantly, stepped aside to let the blonde pass. Not before fixing Kara Danvers with one last pointed glare, though. If Lena wasn’t going to protect herself then Jess would just have to do it for her.
But there was no shouting, no screaming, no audible arguments. And when the blonde left a half hour later and Jess stuck her head through the office door to very unsubtly check on Lena’s wellbeing, there was no trace of red-rimmed eyes or tear stains. Lena simply offered up a small smile, a soft smile and once again, that appeared to be that.
Slowly, Kara Danvers became a regular fixture in L-Corp again, alongside the fancy espresso machines in every break room and the ever-present whiff of soldered metal.
Jess remained wary, a fact which did not seem to go unnoticed by the reporter. In fact, Kara redoubled her efforts to win her over, including new pastries and other sweet treats with the lattes she still regularly delivered.
“I can’t be bought, you know,” Jess had said once, taking the offered apricot Danish anyway. Her loyalty wasn’t up for auction, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t capitalise on the spoils of a bidding war.
Kara had only smiled sadly. “I know. I’m glad.” At Jess’ inquisitive stare she’d just shaken her head, reaching up to adjust her glasses. “I’m glad she has you.”
Jess had hmphed rather ungracefully, licking a stray flake of pastry from the end of her finger. She may have broken her boss’ heart, but no one could deny that Kara Danvers had great taste in desserts.
“I’m not looking for her forgiveness. Or yours,” Kara had continued, so surprising that Jess had inhaled a healthy gulp of latte directly into her lung. The reporter had waited until she’d finished spluttering before she continued. “I don’t deserve it. But for what it’s worth, she has me, too. Again, I mean. For as long as she wants me.”
Jess had narrowed her eyes, searching for any trace of insincerity in that earnest, handsome face. Finding none, her feelings toward the reporter had at last settled somewhere in the ballpark of grudging respect.
And there they’ve remained. She still watches the blonde carefully, still keeps a wary eye out for any sign that things may crumble into dust again. But Kara is true to her word. She shows up, she keeps showing up, and she sticks around.
And slowly, achingly slowly, the light comes back to Lena’s eyes.
-
It’s just another regular unassuming Tuesday when everything shifts again.
Kara Danvers hasn’t yet shown up for lunch and her boss’ conference call was scheduled to have ended a half hour ago, and this stack of expense reports desperately needs Lena’s signature so Jess doesn’t bother knocking as she shoulders open the office door.
A lesser assistant might have shrieked. They’d definitely have dropped the gargantuan stack of reports all over the floor. But Jessica Hoang was trained by Lena Luthor herself. She’s got dignity and composure for days.
Even so, it takes every ounce of poise she can muster not to let out so much as a squeak at the sight of her boss hovering a solid five feet above the floor of her office, enveloped tightly in the arms of a fully kitted and caped Supergirl.
It’s an unavoidably intimate embrace. Lena’s stockinged feet perch lightly on the toes of the hero’s red boots, her arms wrapped snug around the Kryptonian’s neck. Their foreheads are pressed together and they’re just gazing into one another’s eyes, Supergirl’s arms slung low around Lena’s waist as she drifts them in lazy mid-air circles.
For one horrible, stomach-churning moment Jess is faced with the mind-boggling possibility that her boss is, for all intents and purposes, cheating on her reporter gal pal with the city’s superpowered sweetheart.
But equanimity isn’t the only talent she’s picked up from Lena. Her problem solving skills aren’t bad either, or so her boyfriend is fond of grumbling when she steals the Sunday crossword out from under his nose.
Jess uses the split second before they react to her presence to appraise the scene with a critical eye.
At this proximity, there’s something decidedly familiar about those blue eyes and flowing golden locks. But the real clincher doesn’t end up coming from Supergirl at all. It’s the softness in her boss’ expression, the gentle slant of her features and the unguarded love in her eyes in the brief moment before she registers the interruption that really seals the deal.
Jess has, after all, seen Lena in every shade and hue of human emotion. The list of people her boss would look at like that, much like the list of people with unrestricted access to her office, consists of precisely one name.
Two heads snap towards her in perfect tandem, two jaws hitting the floor in quick succession. Lena gasps and shoves herself away from Supergirl like the woman has suddenly become radioactive, apparently forgetting that she’s not currently abiding by the laws of terrestrial gravity and almost plummeting five feet to the ground.
She’s saved by the hero’s lightning fast reflexes, strong arms snapping out to catch her around the waist and pulling their bodies snugly back together into an embrace somehow even more intimate than the original.
Jess smirks. Lena’s cheeks are redder than she’s ever seen them as Supergirl floats them both gently back to the ground. “This isn’t— we were just— she’s not—” Lena tries half-heartedly as the superhero shuffles her feet at her side, blushing like a chastised schoolgirl.
Jess bites the inside of her cheek, calling upon every last shred of her professionalism to keep from laughing. “Your two o’clock is here,” she says gently, gracing her boss with a genuine smile. Jess may be proud of her own bullish protectiveness in front of others, but she’s a simple girl at heart. If Lena’s happy, she’s happy.
Both women are still staring at her slack-jawed. It appears no response is forthcoming any time soon.
Jess decides to put them out of their misery. “Just buzz when you want me to send him in, Miss Luthor. Miss Danvers,” she nods in acknowledgment as she ducks quickly back out of the room. Not quick enough, though, to miss the choked sounds of shock from behind her, nor the heated stage-whisper of how does she know, Lena? that follows her out of the door.
Jess shakes her head. And she doesn’t even have superhearing.
-
Lena Luthor has many strengths but subtlety, apparently, is not one of them.
That’s the conclusion Jess has no choice but to land on as she stares down at her phone. The extra 10k that has materialised in her bank account without warning or explanation could hardly be more obvious if it had come with the payee reference hush money right there in black and white.
Well. If Jess hadn’t been sure before, she certainly is now.
She shakes her head fondly. As if she would ever sell out her boss on anything, much less on what is very clearly a matter of the heart.
After all these years working together, she knows Lena trusts her. But she can also picture clear as day the scene that must have transpired in the office behind her just moments ago. Lena and Kara, panicking about being discovered. Lena falling back into her Luthor conditioning, deciding to clean up the mess by throwing money at it. The instant regret as she realises she’s just confirmed that there is in fact something to be covered up.
For a certified genius, her boss sure can be dense.
Jess chuckles. Taps out of her banking app and pulls up her messages. Your super secret’s safe with me she types, grinning. I’ve never told a soul that you were drunk as a skunk at the annual board meeting three years ago, and that was without a single dollar in bribes. Why would this be any different?
Hitting send, she swears she actually hears the sigh of relief her boss lets out despite the three inches of solid oak door separating them. She shakes her head again, biting her lip.
I’m happy for you, Lena she sends, warm affection swelling in her chest. Smiles when her screen lights up a moment later with a single red heart.
She locks her phone and squares her shoulders. Skims a critical eye over the weekly schedule she already knows by heart. Ushers in Lena’s two o’clock at her boss’ signal and settles back at her desk. Pulls up a new browser tab and searches up the cost of last-minute flights to the Maldives.
Just because Lena’s hush money was unnecessary, that doesn’t mean it can’t be put to good use.
I don’t wanna make a whole post about it but I started rewatching Merlin because of your blog and I can’t stop thinking about this so… What if the prophecy was NEVER about Arthur and ACTUALLY about Gwen? Two sides of the same coin shouldn’t mean total opposites, it should me opposites who share the same core. And what’s at the core of both Merlin and Gwen? Love. For the world itself and for other people. (1/2)
And Arthur was always afraid of magic. But Gwen could return it to Camelot because she also understood that magic could be good. And truly who better to unite Albion than a Queen who values mercy but isn’t afraid to use her sword. Who better to unite Albion than a Queen who understands both what it means to rule and what it means to serve? (2/2)
(i italicised ur last sentence bc i love it so much..❣️)
anon...... ur hitting the nail on the head with this & i love u omg. listen i was just thinking about it too and i was thinking about how merlin was told he was tied to arthur (unvoluntarily!) which he accepted after a while convinced that, whatever he did, he could never change it anyway........ meanwhile he CHOSE gwen and she chose him...... he made the conscious choice to be gwen’s best friend and was loyal to her bc that’s what he from the VERY BEGINNING had WANTED. its because of merlin that arthur got to know gwen more personally which (naturally) resulted in him falling in love with her.
n yeah looking at all of bbcm we know that arthur himself didnt change a damn thing in that fucked up land of his nor did he ever show signs of wanting to, beyond like, knighting some dudes who werent nobility and being a teensy bit nicer to the druids.... saying “im not my father” doesnt make it true lol and if it did then ur still not special bitch. LMAO anyway. anon i love the way u worded everything in ur ask....... GWEN & MERLIN SHARING THE SAME CORE..... LOVE...... ive said it before merlin and gwen are soulmates in every sense that matters ❣️🥺❣️
SO..... arthur is merely a mediator imo.... thru his marriage he ensures that camelot will finally be in good hands aka GWEN’s beautiful hands <3....... u already said it..... she has it ALL ❤️ only reason calling arthur the once and future king is justified is because he is the spouse to the once and future QUEEN amen.
in conclusion...... gwen has everything. EVERYTHING. she is the one of the prophecy. slams post button
so, i dont have a specific reason for doing this other than wanting to. writing is the best thing ever and im so so so grateful for fanfic, so heres a rec list of some of my favourite merthur fics:) there are roughly 169 fics here. i was originally gonna include multiships, but then this became one hundred and sixty nine fics long so i had to trim it into only merthur skeneken. srry :(
comes with:
•an ao3 section
•an LJ section (though it’s considerably shorter)
•word count (except for LJ section bc ?????)
•a lil bit of commentary (i tried my best)
•some warnings. - i think its a lot better if you check the warnings yourself, but just in case there arent any, i mention nsfw content. whether its explicit or alluded to or whatever. most of these are fluffy, and if they’re not then they have a happy ending. there are a few that are neither happy, nor end well, and all of those ive commented ‘read it and weep’ so. thats the warning for the angst, if you need it! also: there is…. over 1M words worth of fic here…. I am 100% likely to miss/forget some warnings, or wrongly assign them.
•the authors pages are linked as well (except for LJ section because dear god am I confused all the time on that site. my brains too small, sorry!) because im only listing a FEW of all the beautiful works they have so. if you like their writing style go check them out!! many of them also write for morgwen, mergwaine, etc. as well as some rare pairs! also - these are all favourites, so they’re in no particular order:)
sorry for any mistakes/typos/whatever! - also, I might have an over exaggeration problem, but that is neither here nor there
UPDATE: I ONLY HAVE TO DO COMMENTS FOR LIKE 10 MORE AND THEN ITLL BE DONE
i think itll take longer tho bc i think i need to make it two parts since there r…. so fucking many oh my god so then ill hve to redo all the links. idk we will see. but like HELL am i giving up on this
the idea of elyan having a bunch of completely random, unconnected, sometimes wildly specific skills from his years of adventuring is. so funny to me fiendiebwh
*
just imagine:
merlin, knocking on elyan's chambers because he's late to training: elyan what're you doing
elyan, sat at a canvas which is facing away from merlin: huh? oh. arthur was kind enough to have some paints imported for me, so i'm painting
merlin: oh, cool
merlin, walking around to actually look at the painting and seeing the most beautiful, detailed landscape art of camelot he's ever laid eyes on:
elyan: yeah, i know. it's still a work in progress so :/
merlin: what......the fuck??????????
*
elyan: hey gwaine watch this
elyan: *swallows his sword and pulls it out again*
gwaine: cool
elyan: haha thanks
arthur: WHAT THE FUCK
*
merlin and the knights: *stare at a fallen bridge they need to cross as not to plummet to their deaths in the rocky river below*
elyan: *attaching a rope to an arrow as they discuss whether they should just go around or commission a bridge perhaps. maybe there's a bridge somewhere else.*
leon: i vote we just...
elyan: *fires the arrow into a tall tree on the other side of the large gap, leaps, swings over the long drop and lands neatly on the other side* ok now you guys do it x
the knights:
elyan:
merlin: how is that even physically possible??? like, according to the laws of this world? isn't he too heavy—
leon: gwaine, stop!
gwaine: *mid-tying a shitty rope to an arrow of his own* what
*
elyan: hey merlin, i made you some new boots since your old ones were looking a bit worn. no offense obviously
merlin: oh thank...*sees gorgeous dark green boots with swirling gold embellishments on them and Merlin's name carved into the soles in cursive script*
merlin:
elyan: merlin?
merlin:
elyan: merlin why are you crying
*
elyan: hey lance wanna hear me do a bird call
lancelot:........sure
elyan: *imitates multiple bird calls perfectly*
lancelot:
in summary elyan isn't a "jack of all trades, master of none" he's a master of all of em
................except storytelling. when asked how he knows these skills, he flies off on so many tangents you're left more confused than you were when he first did some wild thing
(he also can't hold his alcohol, which is why he never drinks)