[ MIGUEL BERNARDEAU, MALE, HE/HIM ] shh ! BASILE ARCHIBLAD VILLIERS, the ( TWENTY-ONE ) year old THIRD year LAW major from WINDSOR, BERKSHIRE, is known as a CARNELIAN around here. HE was invited to join because IT IS HIS BIRTHRIGHT, and now, theyāre here to stay. HE reminds me of EGYPTIAN COTTON CLINGING ONTO SCARRED TISSUE, OIL PAINTINGS HANGING IN EMPTY DINING ROOMS, A FAMILY CREST WORN SO OFTEN IT IS MARKED INTO YOUR SKIN LIKE CARVINGS INTO MARBLE.Ā
ok, hey, hi, hello !! i am olivia and i have never been so obsessed with a rp this early, but here i am! i am so blessed to be in a group with so many amazing writers and muns, i have never been so intimidated and excited all at the same time!Ā because i am a lazy gal, you can find basileās past, biography and connections in the link below ! if you would like to plot, like this post or just come and chat with me. my discord is oliviah#8843
āthe opposition between the virtues and the vices to which these works allude despite the frequent inclusion of other schemes may seem unproblematic at first sight. the virtues and the vices seem to mirror each other as positive and negative moral attitudes, so that medieval authors, with their keen predilection for parallels and oppositions, could conveniently set them against each other. ... yet artistic representations [ ā¦] are misleading in that they establish oppositions between the principal virtues and the capital vices which are based on MERE JUXTAPOSTION ā
note: Ā this is a story depicting two sides of the same 6 feet tall coin, describing
the relationship between basile & mack in the only way i know how; with multiple obscure playlists and a dash of mythology. told from basileās pov, it is quite possible the most homoerotic hate letter youāll read today, who knows.Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ALSO; please note that i am still an untalented blob that cannot do graphics to save my life, so the biggest thank you to diana, who luckily loves kate just as much as i do.Ā
prıde (Ā humılıtŃ )
; refers to a foolishly and irrationally corrupt sense of one's personal value, status or accomplishments, used synonymously with hubris
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST I
it was the beginning of things. the way how the leaves fell, the cards were dealt; the divide of the seas. once done, it could never be repaired ----- Ā oh how the ego swells and bruises with ease. Ā youāve created a world for yourself to rule, and the only thing which can shake it is a rebel piece which would not find its place. you donāt understand it ; ichor unable to wrap around the feat laid at your feet.Ā Ā you donāt know him yet, but you learn quickly that an act of rebellion is all you need to justify your hatred; itās written in scripture, itās carved into the sky from which angels fall. he should know not to challenge you, but he does and itās only when youāre cast from the heavens, heading towards the ground as a crumblring star when you realizes that it is you who are the one losing their grace.
he does not walk the earth with purpose, merely treads among the humans as if he belongs, and no one spares him a second glance. HE FITS IN, in a soft, pliant matter of which your edges are too sharp to doĀ without causing hurt. Ā he does not lack what you have in abundance; but he wears pride differently Ā ----- Ā the shades of it kind and gentle on the eyes. itās modesty, covering up the power which you both share and you learn to hate him for it. while you have spent your days trying to paint yourself BIGGER, using obscure colors ; just in order to be seen, he does the opposite. he fades out the vibrancy, belittling himself with kindness and humility that does not fit into the world youāve created. the sin of which he is able to swallow, you find yourself choking and coughing on until you can no longer breathe. you deem it sinful; for someone walk through life as if he was no better than anyone else when you knew the truth. he was just like you. he just hid it better, youāre sure of it.
greed (Ā chĪ±rıtŃ )
;Ā an inordinate or insatiable longing, especially for wealth,Ā status and power.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST II
you want the world, just for the sake of having it; just because you canāt see it fall into anyone elseās hands. they call pride the root of all sin, and perhaps theyāre right in the way it penetrates and makes every surface permeable to more cardinal traps.Ā why should it not fall to you? Ā you want it more than anything, all of it, and it lingers within until you have convinced yourself that it is within your right to have it.
the issue lies in the way he accepts it, so easilyĀ handing it all over to you without a second glance. he doesnāt even fight; does not seem to have something raging inside of his rib cage, flames licking his insides, asking him to try and satiate it with everything he can get his hands on. Ā instead of taking and stealing, he is more than willing to tear out pieces of himself for the sake of others, for the generosity of it. Ā he is not plagued by theĀ WANTINGĀ of it, the desire for everything, as you are; instead he reeks of content and charity, and the state is so unfamiliar to you that you donāt even know how to respond to it. Ā the simplest way is to exclude yourself from it, to convince yourself that you are exempt from the warmth that he swims in so casually that your hatred can still be justified.
ÉÆrĪ±th (Ā pĪ±tıence )
; intense anger or belligerence aroused by real or supposed wrong.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST III
itās easier to hate him, when he gives you a reason to; an ANCHORĀ where your despise can fester and turn the iron into red and rust. ire, in all its forms, awoken by the crime against someone you care about. heās nothing but venom and darkness,Ā and demonic like you, after all, and even if itās wrong to relish in arahās anguish; a part of you does. a darkened, sadistic piece of you is skipping beats and racing fast at the revelation of it ----Ā VICTORY.
but the sweet taste isnāt quite as satisfying as you thought it would be, instead turning into something cruel at the tip of your tongue. what you thought wouldĀ SUBSIDEĀ with a single confirmation that he was just like youĀ only grows and grows; beastly things brought to life in the absence of light.Ā you adore her, the one whom he hurt so carelessly,Ā and is that not enough to demand vengeance ? your hubris comes alive again, thinking of the heartbreak as collateral damage in a war which you seem to be fighting alone. he does not seem so keen to pick up a sword and a personal agenda towards you; but itās already too late. you hate him. you, better than anyone, knows that sins cannot go unpunished like this.Ā
lust (Ā chĪ±sıtıtŃ )
;Ā intense wanting or longing for an object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotion,Ā such as the lust for sexuality, love, money or power.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST IV
josephine. sheās the one purified thread tying the two of you together; the one attempting to stitch together scales and satin, thinking it will heal. you are not completely opposed to the idea, head tilted, eyes drilling into pleading smiles and you can admit that she is right when she has found herself to be the common ground. not a battlefield, but a place to rest for them both; inviting you to eden and asking you to share a table, to meet in the middle. Ā perhaps the likeness between you two only become prevalent in settings like these; when looking through rosy hues upon whom you love.
THERE ARE DANGERS, IN THE MIDDLE,Ā Ā however. there is temptation in being offered a common interest, a golden thread, and toĀ be expected not to pull it. you do, of course, and you pull and drag until thereās nothing left for him. that is the problem with want -----Ā Ā that when not satiated, it spreads and spreads until anything amber, and shiny will do.Ā you donāt do it just because he wants her, thatās one thing that is certain; but you canāt help that itās simply in your nature. while he has gone through life waiting patiently, youāre a different breed. not human, but man ā made monster, Ā all you can do is take, take, take. itās another testament to the way you DIFFER; you have never been able to wait, while his worst downfall is waiting too long, not jumping into action until youāve already sunk your teeth into what he desires so badly.Ā
envŃ ( kındness )
; resentful emotion that occurs when a person lackās another personās perceived superior quality, achievement or possession and wishes that the other lacked it.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST V
he is everything you are not, and while pride is the thing bringing you to your knees, that fact is what FUELSĀ your hatred. light and blessed with soft hands, everyone falls to worship him as if fated to; while you have fought your entire life to reach such status. he is kind ; undeniably likable, when you are notĀ ----- the mask which you have perfected still sticking out as a sore thumb in comparison to what comes so naturally to aquamarine blue.Ā
IT CAN ONLY BE PEACE, you realize, that allows a man to so mindlessly wish well on others and you hate him ever more for it. he becomes the embodiment of everything you ever lost, the precious moments slipped through calloused fingers when you have been too consumed by other vices. perhaps, he is not like you at all and itās a reality you have to face when you sink deeper and deeper into the pits of something burning.Ā
gluttonŃ ( temperĪ±nce )
; the over ā indulgence and over ā consumption of anything to the point of waste.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST VI
itās one thing to lust, itās one thing to want, and then there is one thing to not be able to stop. it is your ACHILLESā HEEL,Ā Ā if anything; to not be able to quell it, to satiate the deep abyss inside. it does no longer matter who is on the other side of the table, all you can think about it over-taking and over-shadowing. as if an itch needing to be scratched, you can see how your arrogance is poisonous; how you emanate it andĀ how it makes people repulse from youĀ ...Ā -----Ā but you canāt hinder it from oozing out, you canāt help but give him another reason to hate you.
heās able to hold back, bite his tongue; make it slither and taste saccharine while you spit out anything you can think of. Ā he seems to take pleasure in it Ā ----- how could he not ? such amount self-control, Ā did it not make him a god in every sense; omnipotent in the way the world moved around him because he did not let it rule him? Ā while you fall victim to your own depth less desires, he reigns over you. every move calculated, every strength worn only reflecting your very own weaknesses. you hate him, you can swear that you hate him.Ā
(Ā you pray that itās still hatredĀ )
sloth ( dılıgenceĀ )
;Ā a mind-state that gives rise to boredom, rancor, apathy, andĀ finds expression in laziness, idleness, and indolence.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā PLAYLIST VII
what is the point, at the end of it all ? even when you begin to see things differently, when your mind clears up from no longer breathing the fumes of despise and jealously;Ā you fail to see it . despite the truth speaking that you did not HAVE to be so unlike him, that the distance could be overcomed and the middle which have been alluded to could be met... -----Ā you cannot bring yourself to do it.Ā Ā you realize that the problem lies with you; your every pieces of skin lathered with the remnants of your crimes. wings lost, HALO TORN, and the revelation of how truly weak you are comes into the light.Ā
while he is able to try, to pick himself up and continue reach out a feeble hand in your direction; it seems easier to push it away than to take it. you are too tired,Ā the feat is far too big,Ā the hate and disdain is too familiar and COMFORTABLEĀ Ā to leave behind... ----Ā so you stay, idleness becoming you, in the hole you have dug yourself. you can see the way out, see how he hands you a map and a shovel, but your hands seem to close around nothing when attempting to grab it. you are not meant to be friends, itās easy to convince yourself of it down in the mud ; it seems like less work than trying to wash yourself clean.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā ššš Ā šššš Ā ššššššš Ā ššš Ā ššš Ā pull Ā her Ā close Ā and Ā act Ā like Ā she Ā is Ā an Ā almost Ā weightless Ā thing Ā , Ā made Ā of Ā spectral Ā silver Ā and Ā pure Ā white Ā feathers Ā , Ā rather Ā than Ā stone Ā crumbling Ā in Ā his Ā arms Ā ? Ā she Ā has Ā not Ā been Ā weightless Ā a Ā day Ā in Ā her Ā life Ā āāā Ā ever Ā since Ā the Ā moment Ā she Ā was Ā born Ā , Ā a Ā weight Ā was Ā thrust Ā upon Ā the Ā top Ā of Ā her Ā head Ā . Ā gold Ā is Ā as Ā heavy Ā as Ā itĀ isĀ shiningĀ , Ā how Ā quick Ā will Ā the Ā weight Ā be Ā forgotten Ā by Ā those Ā lucky Ā enough Ā to Ā have Ā only Ā sunlight Ā upon Ā them Ā . Ā the Ā warmth Ā does Ā not Ā reach Ā past Ā the Ā gold Ā , Ā nor Ā does Ā it Ā hit Ā shoulders Ā weighed Ā down Ā by Ā a Ā mantle Ā of Ā dark Ā crimson Ā ( Ā regal Ā , Ā bloody Ā with Ā the Ā traces Ā of Ā those Ā who Ā have Ā worn Ā it Ā beforehand Ā āāā Ā she Ā hates Ā the Ā fact Ā that Ā it Ā fits Ā her Ā so Ā well Ā ) Ā . Ā ginevra Ā has Ā been Ā cold Ā for Ā decades Ā , Ā as Ā she Ā has Ā been Ā lonely Ā . Ā she Ā has Ā been Ā carved Ā marble Ā standing Ā alone Ā and Ā on Ā display Ā , Ā and Ā even Ā with Ā sheets Ā of Ā pure Ā white Ā draped Ā around Ā her Ā and Ā keeping Ā her Ā from Ā collecting Ā dust Ā when Ā nobodyās Ā gaze Ā lingers Ā upon Ā her Ā frame Ā , Ā a Ā broken Ā girl Ā still Ā curls Ā up Ā within Ā herself Ā within Ā a Ā hollowed Ā out Ā statue Ā and Ā confuses Ā the Ā sound Ā of Ā a Ā faint Ā heartbeat Ā for Ā footsteps Ā of Ā those Ā who Ā could Ā come Ā to Ā rip Ā the Ā sheetĀ away Ā and Ā leave Ā her Ā exposed Ā . Ā vulnerable Ā . Ā open Ā .
Ā Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā ššš Ā ššš Ā , Ā ššš Ā šššššššš Ā šš Ā the Ā scent Ā of Ā someone Ā who Ā has Ā held Ā her Ā close Ā before Ā āāā Ā and Ā she Ā has Ā offered Ā him Ā nothing Ā but Ā silence Ā for Ā months Ā even Ā when Ā he Ā poured Ā his Ā heart Ā out Ā ( Ā in Ā the Ā moonlight Ā , Ā he Ā has Ā pressed Ā his Ā palms Ā to Ā stone Ā and Ā sought Ā a Ā trace Ā of Ā something Ā living Ā with Ā whispered Ā confessions Ā of Ā love Ā , Ā he Ā has Ā wiped Ā dust Ā away Ā and Ā acted Ā like Ā his Ā fingertips Ā didnāt Ā brush Ā over Ā thin Ā fractures Ā on Ā the Ā stone Ā while Ā calling Ā her Ā beautiful Ā ) Ā . Ā and Ā still Ā , Ā basile Ā is Ā selfless Ā even Ā when Ā he Ā owes Ā her Ā nothing Ā āāā Ā she Ā has Ā given Ā him Ā silence Ā and Ā flickering Ā candlelight Ā , Ā and Ā he Ā takes Ā her Ā in Ā his Ā arms Ā and Ā ginevra Ā does Ā not Ā feel Ā any Ā lighter Ā . Ā there Ā is Ā no Ā sudden Ā weightlessness Ā , Ā no Ā solution Ā to Ā all Ā the Ā sadness Ā within Ā herself Ā , Ā no Ā slate Ā wiped Ā clean Ā through Ā sheer Ā mercy Ā āāā Ā he Ā takes Ā her Ā into Ā his Ā arms Ā and Ā she Ā is Ā heavy Ā as Ā stone Ā , Ā carrying Ā the Ā burdens Ā of Ā silence Ā and Ā sorrow Ā , Ā and Ā basile Ā does Ā not Ā struggle Ā under Ā the Ā weight Ā . Ā he Ā stands Ā strong Ā for Ā the Ā two Ā of Ā them Ā , Ā and Ā ginevra Ā swallows Ā back Ā more Ā tears Ā that Ā threaten Ā to Ā fall Ā when Ā he Ā asks Ā for Ā nothing Ā and Ā offers Ā unconditional Ā protection Ā . Ā she Ā lets Ā him Ā pull Ā her Ā close Ā , Ā and Ā doesnāt Ā act Ā like Ā sheās Ā weightless Ā āāā Ā ginevra Ā wraps Ā her Ā arms Ā tightly Ā around Ā basile Ā and Ā sighs Ā in Ā relief Ā knowing Ā he Ā is Ā there Ā , Ā and Ā willing Ā to Ā carry Ā her Ā when Ā she Ā stumbles Ā .Ā Ā āĀ thankĀ youĀ ,Ā āĀ ginevraĀ whispersĀ intoĀ theĀ safetyĀ ofĀ basileāsĀ chestĀ ,Ā overĀ theĀ mostĀ selflessĀ heartĀ sheāsĀ everĀ heldĀ inĀ herĀ palmsĀ āāāĀ sheĀ pullsĀ awayĀ ,Ā justĀ barelyĀ ,Ā withĀ aĀ softĀ smileĀ .Ā Ā āĀ iĀ amĀ myĀ ownĀ personĀ ,Ā basileĀ .Ā myĀ painĀ isĀ noĀ oneāsĀ responsibilityĀ butĀ myĀ ownĀ ā¦Ā āĀ anĀ exhaleĀ ,Ā heavyĀ withĀ griefĀ ,Ā asĀ ginevraĀ drawsĀ closerĀ (Ā sheĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ toĀ stayĀ partedĀ fromĀ himĀ ,Ā cannotĀ imagineĀ goingĀ tooĀ longĀ withoutĀ hisĀ handsĀ holdingĀ herĀ inĀ placeĀ āāāĀ holdingĀ herĀ upĀ )Ā .Ā Ā āĀ butĀ godĀ ,Ā iĀ needĀ youĀ nowĀ .Ā stayĀ hereĀ withĀ meĀ ,Ā pleaseĀ ā¦Ā youĀ doĀ soĀ muchĀ forĀ meĀ ,Ā basĀ .Ā youĀ makeĀ everythingĀ feelĀ Ā betterĀ .Ā ā
Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā šš Ā ššš Ā šššššš Ā šššššš Ā šš Ā her Ā a Ā little Ā differently Ā āāā Ā lovingly Ā , Ā with Ā an Ā intrigue Ā that Ā stemsĀ notĀ fromĀ selfishĀ curiosityĀ butĀ from Ā a Ā passionate Ā desire Ā to Ā know Ā her Ā and Ā see Ā if Ā their Ā hearts Ā could Ā ever Ā beat Ā at Ā the Ā same Ā rhythm Ā . Ā he Ā has Ā seen Ā her Ā at Ā her Ā softest Ā , Ā he Ā has Ā seen Ā her Ā turn Ā to Ā ice Ā āāā Ā he Ā sees Ā her Ā now Ā , Ā more Ā vulnerable Ā than Ā most Ā have Ā ever Ā witnessed Ā , Ā as Ā stone Ā crumbles Ā in Ā his Ā armsĀ and Ā flesh Ā remains Ā .Ā heĀ seesĀ herĀ asĀ humanĀ ,Ā neitherĀ marbleĀ norĀ spectreĀ ,Ā andĀ she Ā needs Ā him Ā āāā Ā an Ā admission Ā spoken Ā by Ā trembling Ā lips Ā doesĀ not Ā lose Ā itsĀ veracityĀ , Ā not Ā when Ā ginevra Ā has Ā always Ā clung Ā onto Ā him Ā a Ā little Ā bit Ā too Ā tightly Ā asĀ thoughĀ anĀ embraceĀ couldĀ substituteĀ a Ā quiet Ā prayer Ā ( Ā my Ā love Ā , Ā do Ā not Ā stay Ā away Ā for Ā too Ā long Ā āāā Ā in Ā your Ā absence Ā , Ā i Ā will Ā freeze Ā ) Ā . Ā ā Ā i Ā want Ā to Ā tell Ā youĀ ,Ā thoughĀ .Ā iĀ trustĀ youĀ .Ā andĀ perhapsĀ itĀ isĀ betterĀ forĀ meĀ toĀ talkĀ aboutĀ thisĀ āāāĀ iĀ haveĀ usedĀ silenceĀ toĀ keepĀ myselfĀ fromĀ grievingĀ forĀ tooĀ longĀ .Ā ā Ā she Ā longs Ā to Ā step Ā into Ā the Ā warmth Ā even Ā when Ā it Ā terrifies Ā her Ā , Ā as Ā a Ā girl Ā encased Ā in Ā ice Ā looks Ā upon Ā basile Ā and Ā sees Ā flame Ā āāā Ā she Ā has Ā wasted Ā too Ā much Ā time Ā afraid Ā of Ā burning Ā , Ā when Ā his Ā lips Ā found Ā hers Ā in Ā an Ā empty Ā hallway Ā not Ā too Ā long Ā ago Ā , Ā ginevra Ā knew Ā just Ā how Ā gentle Ā the Ā hearthĀ could Ā be Ā as Ā it Ā made Ā her Ā come Ā alive Ā . Ā she Ā gazesĀ into Ā the Ā eyes Ā of Ā the Ā one Ā who Ā has Ā looked Ā at Ā her Ā like Ā she Ā is Ā someone Ā worth Ā seeing Ā purely Ā because Ā there Ā is Ā beauty Ā to Ā be Ā found Ā in Ā the Ā space Ā behind Ā her Ā ribs Ā āāā Ā the Ā one Ā who Ā waited Ā patiently Ā behind Ā doors Ā that Ā had Ā been Ā boarded Ā shut Ā until Ā ginevra Ā held Ā his Ā hand Ā and Ā brought Ā him Ā insideĀ atĀ lastĀ ,Ā toĀ shelterĀ himĀ fromĀ theĀ ragingĀ blizzardĀ heĀ claimedĀ toĀ beĀ contentĀ inĀ becauseĀ itĀ wasĀ stillĀ closeĀ enoughĀ toĀ theĀ ichorĀ -Ā veinedĀ beingĀ withĀ theĀ smileĀ onlyĀ heĀ gotĀ toĀ witnessĀ .Ā heĀ isĀ the Ā one Ā who Ā deems Ā the Ā coldĀ andĀ emptyĀ hallwaysĀ ofĀ aĀ fortressĀ a Ā place Ā of Ā rest Ā and Ā makes Ā an Ā abandoned Ā fireplace Ā come Ā to Ā life Ā for Ā the Ā first Ā time Ā as Ā he Ā settles Ā down Ā like Ā a Ā traveler Ā who Ā has Ā finally Ā arrivedĀ home Ā . Ā ā Ā my Ā brother Ā died Ā six Ā years Ā ago Ā , Ā ā Ā she Ā confesses Ā āāā Ā knowing Ā that Ā her Ā honesty Ā will Ā be Ā held Ā by Ā gentle Ā hands Ā , Ā for Ā she Ā has Ā been Ā welcomed Ā into Ā his Ā heart Ā too Ā . Ā slowly Ā ,Ā withĀ oneĀ confessionĀ afterĀ anotherĀ likeĀ tentativeĀ stepsĀ intoĀ aĀ placeĀ sheĀ hasĀ beenĀ aĀ strangerĀ toĀ forĀ tooĀ longĀ (Ā forĀ everyĀ secondĀ awayĀ fromĀ himĀ leavesĀ herĀ achingĀ )Ā Ā ,Ā ginevra Ā lets Ā herself Ā rest Ā . Ā his Ā arms Ā pull Ā her Ā in Ā after Ā days Ā of Ā distance Ā , Ā and Ā as Ā she Ā rests Ā her Ā head Ā on Ā his Ā chest Ā once Ā more Ā , Ā his Ā heartbeat Ā whispers Ā welcome Ā home Ā .
š”š š°šš¬ šš”š š„šš¬š šš”š¢š§š šØš§Ā šš²š„šš§'š¬ š¦š¢š§š, the ghost of her lips still pressed upon every passing thought. and then stepping out of the night like a phantom he appeared, impish and drunk, reeking of their boyhood and forcing dylan to remember. stumbling to him and leaning upon him, bas was heavy enough to make dylan stumble under his weight momentarily, pulling him so close that dylan could smell his cologne clinging to his clothing. he was grateful for the dark that was blanketing the blush blooming at his face. he was unsure if the rosiness was cajoled at the mention of aislin or at the hand that was pressed to his chest, brotherly, and familiar. all at once, dylan felt the volatile urge to shrug him off, place a Ā much needed canyon of space between them so he could pretend to be able to scourge up a single coherent thought. he was too drunk for this, and it made this even more treacherous. āhey, bas,ā dylan eventually breathed out, there was a grimace at his mouth, masquerading as a grin. he hoped it would pass without note. ājeez louise. word travels that fast? itās barely been an hour,ā thatās who he should have been thinking about aislin, with her too-wide smile and twinkling eyes. aislin who was gentle and sweetness itself, but under the crush of basā arm, all dylan could think about was the pair of them, and mischievous laughter of children, sprawled out in the grass or tucked away in the planetarium. the memories he had cherished and the ones bas had discarded. every image in his brain seasoned with one single entity, basile. āher name is aislin, and yeah sheās gorgeous. youāre allowed to say it. itās just fact. like the color of the sky and all that,ā he admitted, voice so soft he wasnāt even sure bas would catch his words. the words were true but something about saying them to bas made them taste strange as they left his mouth. upon basā last remark, dylanās sure his face had turned completely pink, embarrassingly buckling slightly under basā weight for a second. āthatās very kind but the only opal iām comfortable exchanging saliva with has always been doug. twoās too much of a crowd for me. i do appreciate it, though. very kind to have been considered for your shortlist.ā
Ā Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā š šš Ā ššš Ā ššššššš Ā šššš Ā , Ā ššššššš Ā relished Ā abandonment Ā āāā Ā found Ā a Ā freedom Ā in Ā it Ā , Ā a Ā liberation Ā from Ā the Ā shackles Ā of Ā watchful Ā eyes Ā that Ā tracked Ā her Ā movements Ā no Ā matter Ā what Ā it Ā was Ā she Ā was Ā tethered Ā to Ā . Ā a Ā family Ā , Ā a Ā boarding Ā school Ā , Ā a Ā reputation Ā . Ā being Ā forgotten Ā was Ā not Ā loss Ā but Ā glorious Ā victory Ā , Ā it Ā was Ā always Ā the Ā checkmate Ā at Ā the Ā end Ā of Ā the Ā strategies Ā she Ā laid Ā out Ā when Ā moving Ā through Ā life Ā pulling Ā fog Ā over Ā herself Ā like Ā a Ā grey Ā cloak Ā , Ā sinking Ā into Ā it Ā gratefully Ā and Ā holding Ā her Ā breath Ā so Ā that Ā her Ā absence Ā may Ā be Ā all Ā the Ā trail Ā left Ā behind Ā . Ā but Ā there Ā is Ā no Ā plan Ā b Ā to Ā concoct Ā in Ā the Ā mere Ā seconds Ā it Ā takes Ā for Ā vanessa Ā to Ā cross Ā the Ā room Ā , Ā nothing Ā more Ā than Ā desperate Ā hands Ā quickly Ā moving Ā to Ā basileās Ā back Ā āāā Ā partly Ā due Ā to Ā a Ā selfish Ā desire Ā to Ā hold Ā him Ā close Ā for Ā as Ā long Ā as Ā possible Ā , Ā almost Ā as Ā if Ā she Ā knows Ā he Ā is Ā about Ā to Ā be Ā torn Ā away Ā from Ā her Ā . Ā but Ā mostly Ā because Ā she Ā has Ā seen Ā the Ā jagged Ā footprints Ā of Ā a Ā monster Ā on Ā basileās Ā skin Ā , Ā she Ā has Ā pressed Ā her Ā lips Ā to Ā a Ā different Ā scar Ā every Ā night Ā theyāve Ā shared Ā together Ā as Ā if Ā her Ā touch Ā could Ā ever Ā serve Ā as Ā blessing Ā , Ā give Ā him Ā a Ā kinder Ā future Ā with Ā the Ā tenderness Ā he Ā has Ā always Ā deserved Ā .Ā sheĀ pressesĀ herĀ handsĀ toĀ hisĀ backĀ nowĀ ,Ā tryingĀ toĀ coverĀ itĀ asĀ bestĀ asĀ sheĀ canĀ ,Ā beforeĀ heĀ isĀ pushedĀ awayĀ momentsĀ laterĀ āāāĀ andĀ ginevraĀ knowsĀ herĀ effortsĀ atĀ bothĀ keepingĀ himĀ closeĀ andĀ protectingĀ himĀ inĀ herĀ ownĀ wayĀ wereĀ futileĀ .
Ā Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā ššš Ā ššš Ā š šššššš Ā šššššššš Ā ššš Ā jaw Ā and Ā his Ā lips Ā whispering Ā a Ā rushed Ā apology Ā feel Ā like Ā a Ā goodbye Ā āāā Ā silly Ā girl Ā , Ā her Ā time Ā has Ā run Ā out Ā and Ā a Ā pattern Ā must Ā be Ā followed Ā . Ā the Ā escape Ā she Ā had Ā found Ā in Ā him Ā ( Ā the Ā momentary Ā bliss Ā that Ā only Ā basile Ā could Ā give Ā her Ā ) Ā meets Ā its Ā end Ā the Ā moment Ā he Ā pulls Ā away Ā from Ā her Ā to Ā look Ā at Ā the Ā phone Ā vanessa Ā shows Ā him Ā , Ā and Ā the Ā younger Ā carnelian Ā has Ā not Ā torn Ā her Ā predecessor Ā away Ā from Ā ginevra Ā āāā Ā rather Ā , Ā he Ā turnsĀ awayĀ willingly Ā . Ā and Ā ginevra Ā resents Ā abandonment Ā the Ā moment Ā his Ā weight Ā leaves Ā the Ā bed Ā , Ā her Ā hand Ā absentmindedly Ā resting Ā on Ā the Ā space Ā he Ā occupied Ā as Ā puzzled Ā gaze Ā darts Ā from Ā one Ā carnelian Ā to Ā the Ā next Ā . Ā in Ā confusion Ā , Ā in Ā a Ā sudden Ā longing Ā to Ā pathetically Ā ask Ā basile Ā not Ā to Ā leave Ā her Ā once Ā more Ā , Ā to Ā selfishly Ā beg Ā him Ā to Ā grant Ā her Ā one Ā more Ā moment Ā with Ā him Ā in Ā the Ā shelter Ā of Ā safety Ā and Ā calm Ā theyāve Ā built Ā together Ā . Ā ā Ā what Ā is Ā it Ā , Ā exactly Ā ? Ā ā Ā ginevra Ā clears Ā her Ā throat Ā , Ā sits Ā up Ā with Ā a Ā confused Ā frown Ā and Ā the Ā poise Ā that Ā is Ā ever Ā so Ā characteristic Ā of Ā her Ā āāā Ā even Ā when Ā her Ā hand Ā still Ā rests Ā on Ā an Ā empty Ā space Ā beside Ā her Ā .Ā gaze Ā travels Ā from Ā basile Ā to Ā vanessa Ā , Ā there Ā is Ā a Ā flash Ā of Ā coldness Ā in Ā ginevraās Ā eyes Ā that Ā warns Ā of Ā something Ā sharp Ā under Ā the Ā surface Ā . Ā ā Ā a Ā word Ā of Ā advice Ā , Ā vanessaĀ āāāĀ no Ā matter Ā the Ā circumstances Ā , Ā remember Ā who Ā you Ā are Ā talking Ā to Ā . Ā spareĀ theĀ apologyĀ .Ā iĀ preferĀ anĀ explanationĀ Ā . Ā āĀ /Ā @carnelieanĀ·Ā .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āāāā Ā ššššššš Ā ššššš Ā ššššššš Ā ššš Ā ššššš šššššš, Ā abundantly Ā and Ā freely Ā just Ā as Ā she Ā once Ā was. Ā Ā THREE Ā Ā . Ā her Ā fingers Ā clutch Ā tightly Ā onto Ā the Ā glass, Ā half Ā filled. Ā the Ā sloshing Ā of Ā its Ā contents Ā spilling Ā out Ā onto Ā evenly Ā trimmed Ā nails. Ā Ā TWO Ā Ā .Ā the Ā countdown Ā is Ā loud Ā and Ā slow, Ā but Ā she Ā finds Ā herself Ā counting Ā with Ā them. Ā joining Ā them, Ā instead Ā of Ā staying Ā on Ā the Ā sidelines. Ā she Ā finds Ā joy Ā in Ā josieās Ā boisterous Ā that Ā seems Ā to Ā echo Ā through Ā the Ā sitting Ā area. Ā Ā ONE Ā Ā . Ā Ā arms Ā encase Ā her, Ā it Ā only Ā takes Ā moments Ā for Ā her Ā brain Ā to Ā process, Ā even Ā through Ā its Ā drunken Ā haze, Ā that Ā itās Ā basileās Ā own Ā arms. Ā after Ā all, Ā not Ā many Ā would Ā venture Ā through Ā the Ā dangerous Ā territory Ā of Ā brushing Ā skins Ā with Ā arah. Ā it Ā only Ā came Ā with Ā far Ā too Ā many Ā consequences. Ā feet Ā lifted Ā from Ā the Ā ground, Ā hair Ā twirling Ā through Ā the Ā vortex Ā that Ā draws Ā her Ā towards Ā its Ā center. Ā lips Ā pressed Ā sloppily, Ā spontaneously, Ā against Ā her Ā own. Ā though Ā the Ā onyx Ā isnāt Ā sure Ā whether Ā itās Ā his Ā grip Ā on Ā her Ā or Ā the Ā connection Ā of Ā their Ā lips Ā that Ā draws Ā breath Ā from Ā her. Ā her Ā hand Ā swats Ā at Ā him Ā as Ā soon Ā as Ā they Ā disconnect. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā youāve Ā got Ā a Ā death Ā wish, Ā d'you Ā ? Ā ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā for Ā theatric Ā purposes, Ā her Ā sleeve Ā comes Ā up Ā to Ā wipe Ā the Ā remnants Ā of Ā him Ā on Ā her Ā lips. Ā but Ā the Ā burn Ā remains Ā present. Ā a Ā fire Ā thatās Ā beginning Ā to Ā spark Ā that Ā she Ā canāt Ā see Ā herself Ā putting Ā out. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ā Ā rightfully Ā so Ā ! Ā whoās Ā to Ā say Ā that Ā kiss Ā wasnāt Ā for Ā someone Ā else Ā ? Ā perhaps Ā he Ā wouldnāt Ā want Ā to Ā taste Ā you Ā on Ā my Ā lips. Ā nor Ā your Ā excessive Ā saliva Ā condition.Ā ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā a Ā certain Ā someone Ā who Ā would Ā surely Ā be Ā waiting Ā for Ā her Ā after Ā an Ā indulgence Ā ofĀ drinks.
Ā Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā šš Ā šš Ā šš Ā ššššš Ā šššš Ā ginevra Ā can Ā almost Ā reach Ā out Ā and Ā let Ā out Ā a Ā broken Ā plea Ā āāā Ā i Ā am Ā not Ā strong Ā enough Ā to Ā see Ā you Ā from Ā afar Ā and Ā act Ā like Ā iām Ā okay Ā , Ā my Ā dear Ā , Ā too Ā much Ā weighs Ā upon Ā me Ā tonight Ā . Ā words Ā echo Ā across Ā her Ā ribcage Ā , Ā and Ā every Ā time Ā a Ā desperate Ā ( Ā and Ā pathetic Ā ) Ā confession Ā bounces Ā off Ā bone Ā , Ā it Ā seems Ā to Ā puncture Ā her Ā from Ā within Ā āāā Ā as Ā it Ā begs Ā to Ā be Ā released Ā but Ā her Ā teeth Ā are Ā gritted Ā shut Ā with Ā the Ā knowledge Ā that Ā he Ā wants Ā nothing Ā from Ā her Ā . Ā however Ā , Ā previous Ā words Ā are Ā cast Ā aside Ā as Ā basile Ā steps Ā over Ā the Ā barriers Ā he Ā has Ā set Ā andĀ theyĀ turnĀ toĀ dustĀ underĀ hisĀ footstepsĀ . Ā he Ā has Ā rested Ā against Ā her Ā chest Ā enough Ā times Ā to Ā memorize Ā her Ā heartbeat Ā and Ā deem Ā it Ā a Ā lullaby Ā , Ā she Ā wonders Ā if Ā he Ā pulls Ā her Ā in Ā because Ā even Ā from Ā a Ā distance Ā , Ā he Ā can Ā hear Ā the Ā hollow Ā sounds Ā made Ā by Ā unspoken Ā declarations Ā and Ā unspoken Ā goodbyes Ā . Ā basile Ā pulls Ā her Ā into Ā her Ā and Ā ginevra Ā lets Ā out Ā a Ā sigh Ā of Ā relief Ā āāā Ā she Ā shuts Ā her Ā eyes Ā , Ā and Ā immediately Ā , Ā she Ā is Ā home Ā . Ā it Ā shouldnāt Ā be Ā this Ā instantaneous Ā , Ā this Ā easy Ā āāā Ā six Ā years Ā of Ā grief Ā has Ā spilled Ā out Ā of Ā her Ā in Ā one Ā night Ā , Ā hand Ā in Ā hand Ā with Ā heartbreak Ā , Ā with Ā icy Ā hands Ā that Ā grab Ā onto Ā her Ā ankles Ā and Ā pull Ā her Ā down Ā , Ā for Ā she Ā has Ā avoided Ā capture Ā far Ā too Ā long Ā . Ā when Ā fate Ā longs Ā to Ā see Ā her Ā fall Ā apart Ā and Ā feel Ā her Ā sorrow Ā amplified Ā because Ā of Ā all Ā the Ā time Ā it Ā has Ā been Ā begging Ā to Ā be Ā released Ā , Ā like Ā caged Ā beast Ā , Ā it Ā shouldnāt Ā be Ā this Ā easy Ā to Ā tuck Ā her Ā head Ā into Ā the Ā crook Ā of Ā his Ā neck Ā , Ā inhale Ā his Ā scent Ā and Ā feel Ā like Ā the Ā weight Ā upon Ā her Ā shoulders Ā is Ā suddenly Ā growing Ā lighter Ā āāā Ā oh Ā , Ā but Ā he Ā lets Ā out Ā a Ā simple Ā explanation Ā and Ā she Ā can Ā feel Ā his Ā lips Ā brushing Ā against Ā her Ā skin Ā , Ā and Ā ginevra Ā feels Ā a Ā little Ā better Ā already Ā . Ā like Ā the Ā weight Ā is Ā not Ā only Ā her Ā own Ā āāā Ā like Ā she Ā has Ā not Ā shattered Ā against Ā the Ā floor Ā , Ā because Ā he Ā has Ā caught Ā her Ā just Ā in Ā time Ā . Ā ā Ā ā¦ Ā i Ā have Ā , Ā ā Ā she Ā whispers Ā . Ā there Ā is Ā no Ā use Ā hiding Ā it Ā from Ā him Ā , Ā not Ā when Ā he Ā could Ā find Ā her Ā in Ā darkness Ā guided Ā only Ā by Ā the Ā sound Ā of Ā her Ā breathing Ā , Ā when Ā he Ā could Ā pick Ā her Ā out Ā from Ā a Ā crowd Ā by Ā the Ā scent Ā of Ā the Ā perfume Ā that Ā lingers Ā on Ā his Ā sheets Ā . Ā she Ā knows Ā him Ā too Ā , Ā could Ā find Ā him Ā just Ā as Ā easily Ā āāā Ā ginevra Ā knows Ā basile Ā well Ā enough Ā to Ā fear Ā that Ā he Ā will Ā look Ā upon Ā his Ā own Ā hands Ā and Ā find Ā destruction Ā where Ā sheās Ā found Ā safety Ā , Ā so Ā she Ā rests Ā her Ā forehead Ā against Ā his Ā and Ā concern Ā flashes Ā in Ā her Ā eyes Ā . Ā ā Ā but Ā not Ā because Ā of Ā you Ā . Ā please Ā , Ā do Ā not Ā think Ā that Ā this Ā is Ā your Ā fault Ā . Ā ā Ā she Ā pauses Ā , Ā a Ā silence Ā heavy Ā with Ā uncertainty Ā ā¦ Ā and Ā dares Ā to Ā take Ā just Ā a Ā little Ā of Ā the Ā weight Ā offĀ her Ā shoulders Ā and Ā place Ā it Ā on Ā his Ā hands Ā .Ā evenĀ whenĀ heĀ isĀ justĀ outĀ ofĀ reachĀ ,Ā sheĀ trustsĀ himĀ .Ā enoughĀ toĀ breakĀ herĀ ownĀ silenceĀ .Ā ā Ā new Ā yearās Ā is Ā a Ā hard Ā day Ā for Ā me Ā . Ā ā
Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā šššš'š Ā ššššš Ā šš Ā šššš Ā šššš Ā from Ā each Ā other Ā , Ā a Ā promise Ā made Ā with Ā the Ā otherās Ā voice Ā in Ā their Ā ear Ā while Ā they Ā looked Ā outĀ ofĀ Ā different Ā windows Ā āāā Ā it Ā was Ā easier Ā to Ā fool Ā herself Ā when Ā she Ā didnāt Ā have Ā to Ā face Ā him Ā . Ā but Ā he Ā stepped Ā into Ā the Ā chalet Ā , Ā among Ā the Ā last Ā to Ā arrive Ā , Ā and Ā suddenly Ā it Ā was Ā so Ā much Ā harder Ā to Ā stay Ā silent Ā and Ā brush Ā past Ā him Ā . Ā to Ā fall Ā into Ā an Ā empty Ā bed Ā , Ā knowing Ā safety Ā and Ā comfort Ā were Ā only Ā a Ā few Ā steps Ā away Ā āāā Ā but Ā basile Ā had Ā locked Ā the Ā door Ā behind Ā himself Ā , Ā and Ā ginevra Ā respected Ā him Ā too Ā much Ā to Ā knock Ā and Ā beg Ā him Ā to Ā let Ā herĀ backĀ inĀ . Ā it Ā hurts Ā to Ā linger Ā outside Ā his Ā door Ā with Ā her Ā fingers Ā brushing Ā the Ā handle Ā , Ā knowing Ā it Ā is Ā not Ā hers Ā to Ā touch Ā , Ā but Ā it Ā does Ā not Ā hurt Ā as Ā much Ā as Ā knowing Ā that Ā she Ā has Ā made Ā him Ā feel Ā this Ā way Ā before Ā āāā Ā few Ā things Ā tear Ā her Ā apart Ā like Ā knowing Ā she Ā has Ā hurt Ā him Ā when Ā she Ā also Ā knows Ā she Ā loves Ā him Ā .
Ā Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā š šš Ā š Ā šššššš Ā ( Ā ššššš Ā ššš Ā ) Ā , Ā the Ā two Ā of Ā them Ā wave Ā white Ā flags Ā and Ā press Ā their Ā lips Ā to Ā each Ā otherās Ā as Ā they Ā come Ā back Ā together Ā , Ā two Ā bodies Ā collide Ā andĀ everythingĀ isĀ okayĀ āāā Ā as Ā they Ā hold Ā each Ā other Ā close Ā enough Ā for Ā walls Ā to Ā turn Ā to Ā dust Ā and Ā every Ā lock Ā to Ā shatter Ā , Ā until Ā no Ā barrier Ā stands Ā between Ā them Ā . Ā he Ā is Ā intoxicating Ā , Ā overwhelming Ā her Ā senses Ā in Ā a Ā way Ā that Ā leaves Ā her Ā dizzy Ā ā¦ Ā yet Ā sweetest Ā of Ā all Ā is Ā the Ā happiness Ā that Ā writes Ā itself Ā in Ā her Ā smile Ā as Ā ginevra Ā eagerly Ā returns Ā every Ā kiss Ā and Ā pulls Ā basile Ā into Ā her Ā .Ā onĀ aĀ nightĀ darkerĀ thanĀ mostĀ ,Ā heĀ stillĀ managesĀ toĀ makeĀ herĀ happyĀ Ā .Ā until Ā reality Ā comes Ā knocking Ā , Ā harshly Ā waking Ā her Ā from Ā her Ā daydream Ā as Ā a Ā door Ā opens Ā and Ā a Ā prodigyās Ā voice Ā cuts Ā through Ā the Ā night Ā āāā Ā a Ā blush Ā immediately Ā spreads Ā across Ā her Ā cheeks Ā as Ā ginevraās Ā head Ā falls Ā back Ā onto Ā basileās Ā pillow Ā , Ā and Ā she Ā is Ā suddenly Ā grateful Ā for Ā his Ā larger Ā frame Ā covering Ā her Ā own Ā as Ā nimble Ā fingers Ā pull Ā the Ā fabric Ā of Ā his Ā shirt Ā closerĀ , Ā dress Ā discarded Ā by Ā the Ā foot Ā of Ā the Ā bed Ā sometime Ā earlier Ā . Ā she Ā does Ā her Ā best Ā to Ā ignore Ā vanessa'sĀ untimelyĀ entranceĀ āāā Ā with Ā basile Ā looking Ā at Ā her Ā so Ā tenderly Ā and Ā gentle Ā touch Ā brushing Ā away Ā strands Ā of Ā blonde Ā hair Ā , Ā ginevra Ā almost Ā succeeds Ā . Ā almost Ā . Ā but Ā there Ā is Ā still Ā a Ā knot Ā in Ā her Ā stomach Ā at Ā being Ā caught Ā in Ā such Ā a Ā compromising Ā position Ā , Ā and Ā she Ā canāt Ā help Ā but Ā peek Ā at Ā vanessa Ā and Ā will Ā her Ā voice Ā to Ā sound Ā as Ā professional Ā as Ā possible Ā evenĀ whenĀ circumstancesĀ areĀ notĀ exactlyĀ favorableĀ . Ā ā Ā excuse Ā him Ā . Ā we Ā are Ā , Ā indeed Ā , Ā busy Ā āāā Ā but Ā unlike Ā basile Ā , Ā i Ā will Ā ask Ā you Ā to Ā close Ā the Ā door Ā on Ā your Ā way Ā out Ā . Ā youāre Ā dismissed Ā , Ā vanessa Ā . Ā āĀ /Ā @carnelieanĀ·Ā .
šššššššš Ā ššš Ā ššš Ā ššššššššš Ā šš Ā šššššš.Ā it Ā takes Ā a Ā grand Ā quest Ā and Ā a Ā valiant Ā hero Ā to Ā fend Ā them Ā off Ā ā Ā but Ā vanessa Ā is Ā not Ā the Ā only Ā monster Ā here. Ā tonight, Ā the Ā monster Ā calls Ā forth Ā its Ā kin Ā to Ā join Ā them Ā in Ā the Ā maws Ā of Ā hell, Ā to Ā ravage Ā what Ā has Ā betrayed Ā them. Ā no, Ā vanessa Ā will Ā not Ā be Ā dismissed. Ā not Ā when Ā her Ā mother Ā will Ā be Ā boarding Ā a Ā flight Ā in Ā a Ā matter Ā of Ā hours, Ā along Ā with Ā any Ā opportunity Ā vanessa Ā has Ā for Ā a Ā life Ā better Ā than Ā late Ā rent Ā checks Ā and Ā fickle Ā gifts Ā from Ā her Ā motherās Ā victims. Ā her Ā eyes Ā sweep Ā over Ā the Ā scene, Ā taking Ā into Ā account Ā the Ā clothing Ā on Ā the Ā floor, Ā basileās Ā bare Ā back Ā traced Ā with Ā scars Ā that Ā tell Ā a Ā story Ā she Ā intends Ā to Ā uncover, Ā the Ā voice Ā of Ā a Ā diadem Ā losing Ā its Ā severity Ā in Ā the Ā throes Ā of Ā an Ā intimate Ā moment Ā of Ā passion. Ā sheās Ā not Ā meant Ā to Ā see Ā this, Ā but Ā sheās Ā seen Ā it Ā nonetheless; Ā neither Ā of Ā them Ā can Ā take Ā it Ā back, Ā and Ā vanessa Ā bites Ā back Ā a Ā scoff Ā at Ā the Ā notion Ā of Ā her Ā turning Ā away Ā with Ā tail Ā tucked Ā between Ā her Ā legs. Ā who Ā is Ā she Ā ā Ā hollis, Ā balking Ā at Ā the Ā first Ā glimpse Ā of Ā battle? Ā aislin, Ā trembling Ā before Ā demons? Ā vanessa Ā does Ā not Ā invite Ā war Ā without Ā reason, Ā and Ā she Ā has Ā more Ā than Ā enough Ā reason Ā to Ā now.
so Ā she Ā grits Ā her Ā teeth, Ā marches Ā forward Ā and Ā curves Ā her Ā hand Ā around Ā basileās Ā shoulder Ā to Ā knock Ā him Ā off Ā balance Ā ā Ā just Ā enough Ā so Ā vanessa Ā can Ā shove Ā her Ā phone Ā for Ā his Ā eyes Ā alone, Ā to Ā read Ā the Ā same Ā text Ā she Ā did. Ā if Ā heās Ā clever Ā ā Ā and Ā she Ā knows Ā he Ā is, Ā knows Ā that Ā he Ā bleeds Ā carnelian Ā the Ā same Ā way Ā vanessa Ā does Ā ā Ā heāll Ā figure Ā it Ā out Ā himself. Ā āi Ā told Ā you,ā Ā she Ā seethes, Ā āitās Ā urgent.ā Ā out Ā of Ā respect, Ā vanessa Ā does Ā not Ā turn Ā her Ā eyes Ā to Ā ginevra, Ā choosing Ā instead Ā to Ā stare Ā intently Ā at Ā basileās Ā expression Ā to Ā watch Ā the Ā transformation Ā herself. Ā how Ā does Ā it Ā feel, Ā fucker? Ā the Ā question Ā pierces Ā through Ā the Ā skin Ā of Ā her Ā throat, Ā begging Ā to Ā launch Ā itself Ā like Ā a Ā missileĀ from Ā her Ā tongue. Ā if Ā i Ā canāt Ā have Ā the Ā love Ā of Ā a Ā mother, Ā then Ā yourĀ dickĀ canātĀ stickĀ itĀ tonight. Ā āsorry Ā ginevra,ā Ā she Ā says Ā dryly, Ā eyes Ā still Ā averted, Ā āi Ā really Ā am, Ā but Ā i Ā need Ā basile Ā right Ā now.ā
blood Ā roars Ā in Ā her Ā ears Ā like Ā thunder, Ā heart Ā jammed Ā in Ā her Ā throat Ā and Ā stomach Ā in Ā complete Ā knots Ā as Ā vanessa Ā heads Ā to Ā basileās Ā room. Ā itās Ā sheer Ā adrenaline Ā that Ā holds Ā her Ā steady, Ā even Ā as Ā some Ā small, Ā weak Ā part Ā of Ā her Ā wants Ā to Ā turn Ā around Ā and Ā drink Ā enough Ā to Ā make Ā her Ā forget Ā what Ā she Ā saw. Ā adrenaline, Ā and Ā the Ā thought Ā of Ā basile, Ā the Ā entire Ā society, Ā the Ā friends Ā who, Ā despite Ā vanessaās Ā best Ā defenses, Ā have Ā begun Ā settling Ā into Ā the Ā core Ā of Ā her Ā bones. Ā after Ā a Ā taste Ā of Ā this Ā ā Ā the Ā camaraderie Ā between Ā members, Ā the Ā challenge Ā they Ā pose Ā for Ā her Ā mind Ā and Ā heart Ā and Ā soul, Ā the Ā satisfaction Ā of Ā knowing Ā vanessa Ā is Ā among Ā the Ā best Ā and Ā the Ā brightest Ā ā Ā she Ā cannot Ā imagine Ā letting Ā it Ā go. Ā she Ā praysĀ that Ā she Ā wonātĀ lose Ā her Ā mother Ā tonight, Ā and Ā her Ā friends Ā later.
ābas,ā Ā vanessa Ā says Ā to Ā his Ā closed Ā door, Ā using Ā the Ā nickname Ā for Ā the Ā first Ā time, Ā testing Ā it Ā out Ā on Ā her Ā tongue Ā in Ā a Ā time Ā of Ā need. Ā it Ā tastes Ā intimate, Ā it Ā tastes Ā unfamiliar, Ā it Ā tastes Ā like Ā the Ā way Ā he Ā makes Ā her Ā feel: Ā turned Ā inside Ā out Ā with Ā no Ā sense Ā of Ā direction Ā except Ā forward. Ā ābas, Ā i Ā need Ā to Ā talk Ā to Ā you. Ā this Ā is Ā urgent.āĀ whenĀ heĀ doesnātĀ openĀ theĀ doorĀ fastĀ enough,Ā vanessaĀ makesĀ theĀ executiveĀ decisionĀ and walksĀ inĀ withoutĀ permission.
Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā ā Ā Ā Ā šššššššš Ā ššš Ā šššš Ā ššš Ā šššš Ā , Ā in Ā a Ā whirlwind Ā that Ā has Ā left Ā ginevra Ā feeling Ā even Ā more Ā overwhelmed Ā than Ā she Ā was Ā at Ā the Ā start Ā of Ā the Ā night Ā āāā Ā it Ā is Ā still Ā early Ā , Ā yet Ā she Ā is Ā exhausted Ā from Ā the Ā burden Ā of Ā pretending Ā like Ā everything Ā is Ā alright Ā while Ā the Ā guilt Ā festers Ā within Ā her Ā , Ā rotting Ā , Ā poisoningĀ allĀ inĀ sightĀ . Ā wide Ā eyes Ā do Ā not Ā bother Ā to Ā hide Ā the Ā grief Ā they Ā carry Ā when Ā there Ā is Ā no Ā audience Ā present Ā , Ā she Ā hides Ā away Ā for Ā the Ā hundredth Ā time Ā that Ā night Ā āāā Ā tonight Ā , Ā ginevra Ā needs Ā to Ā let Ā herself Ā restĀ everyĀ onceĀ inĀ aĀ whileĀ toĀ putĀ herselfĀ backĀ togetherĀ if Ā she Ā is Ā to Ā avoid Ā falling Ā apart Ā . Ā even Ā in Ā darkness Ā , Ā herĀ ownĀ handĀ wipesĀ awayĀ tearsĀ thatĀ haveĀ fallenĀ whenĀ aĀ debilitatedĀ heartĀ daredĀ toĀ rememberĀ inĀ aĀ momentĀ ofĀ nostalgiaĀ thatĀ couldnātĀ beĀ snuffedĀ outĀ inĀ timeĀ .Ā ginevraĀ lets Ā out Ā a Ā shaky Ā sigh Ā , Ā backĀ slidesĀ down Ā a Ā wall Ā until Ā she Ā sits Ā on Ā the Ā floor Ā ( Ā among Ā the Ā footsteps Ā of Ā ghosts Ā , Ā among Ā the Ā spirits Ā of Ā the Ā fallenĀ ,Ā amongĀ allĀ thoseĀ whoĀ haveĀ feltĀ tooĀ weakĀ toĀ standĀ atĀ someĀ pointĀ orĀ anotherĀ Ā ) Ā . Ā her Ā head Ā snaps Ā up Ā at Ā the Ā sound Ā of Ā footsteps Ā that Ā have Ā followed Ā her Ā , Ā immediatelyĀ recognizingĀ whoĀ theyĀ belongĀ toĀ .Ā itĀ isĀ hardĀ notĀ toĀ memorizeĀ theĀ gaitĀ ofĀ theĀ manĀ whoĀ hasĀ foundĀ hisĀ ownĀ solaceĀ inĀ herĀ soĀ manyĀ timesĀ ,Ā theĀ manĀ whoĀ hasĀ managedĀ toĀ unknowinglyĀ landĀ aĀ lowĀ blowĀ asĀ sheĀ achesĀ .Ā whenĀ heĀ finallyĀ comesĀ closeĀ enoughĀ ,Ā she Ā takes Ā in Ā the Ā sight Ā of Ā someone Ā who Ā is Ā quite Ā possibly Ā the Ā last Ā person Ā she Ā wants Ā to Ā see Ā right Ā now: Ā the Ā man Ā she Ā loves Ā . Ā ā Ā hi Ā , Ā ā Ā she Ā breathes Ā out Ā , Ā as Ā feeble Ā greeting Ā . Ā ā Ā i Ā thoughtĀ you Ā wereĀ backĀ at Ā the Ā party Ā . Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā perhaps mack should feel bad for how quickly he shot down the idea of traveling with bas, but he had been looking forward to paris from the second the idea was floated. for anyone else, mack wouldāve given in, agreeing so josie didnāt have to tell them no, but there was no way in hell mack was going to adjust his plans for the sake of basileās happiness. and it seems like mackās assessment was right anyway; basile made it through the flight completely unscathed. now, mack can only hope vanessa will make good on her threats on the way home. as bas moves to the coffee pot, mackās eyes donāt follow, his focus remaining on cleaning. āreally? because it sounded like you were pretty worked up about traveling with her. or were those crocodile tears just a ploy to tug on joās heartstrings?ā his tone is light, teasing even; if mackās making a harmless joke or genuinely accusing him of manipulation is left to basileās discretion. as basile talks about the train, his voice laced with disdain, mack has to actively stop himself from rolling his eyes. you pretentious fucking dobber, runs through his mind. yet it doesnāt reach his face;, mack musters a small smile, and the laugh he fakes sounds genuine even to his own ears. āif one of us has to attempt murder to make it eventful, then sure.ā he shrugs. ābut we had fun. despite the fleasā best efforts to dampen our spirits.ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā THE Ā CHANGE Ā OF Ā SCENERY Ā HAS Ā imparted Ā a Ā welcome Ā change Ā of Ā pace: Ā as Ā though Ā hidden Ā flasks Ā and Ā the Ā clean, Ā crisp Ā aura Ā that Ā comes Ā with Ā a Ā blanket Ā of Ā fresh Ā snow Ā is Ā enough Ā to Ā draw Ā the Ā attention Ā away Ā from Ā missing Ā friends Ā and Ā the Ā threat Ā of Ā safety. Ā he Ā dreads Ā the Ā days Ā when Ā they Ā return Ā to Ā strathmore Ā āāāāā Ā heās Ā simply Ā glad Ā to Ā still Ā have Ā his Ā own Ā space Ā in Ā the Ā enormous Ā chalet, Ā if Ā not Ā for Ā anything Ā but Ā to Ā have Ā a Ā quiet Ā space Ā to Ā retreat Ā to, Ā a Ā room Ā where Ā he Ā can Ā collect Ā his Ā thoughts Ā without Ā worry Ā of Ā eyes Ā judging Ā him Ā silently. Ā but Ā a Ā knock Ā on Ā his Ā door Ā ( Ā he Ā checks Ā his Ā phone: Ā two Ā a.m. Ā ? Ā who Ā ever Ā could Ā be Ā seeking Ā him Ā out Ā at Ā this Ā hour Ā ? Ā ) Ā reminds Ā him Ā that Ā heās Ā one Ā thin Ā layer Ā from Ā being Ā sucked Ā back Ā into Ā reality Ā āāāāā Ā a Ā somewhat Ā overwhelming, Ā somewhat Ā comforting Ā thought Ā all Ā the Ā same. Ā basileās Ā presence Ā ( Ā featuring Ā an Ā uncanny Ā scent Ā of Ā alcohol Ā on Ā his Ā breath Ā ) Ā is Ā a Ā surprise. Ā ā Ā um, Ā wasnāt Ā asleep Ā yet. Ā in Ā bed, Ā yeah, Ā just Ā um, Ā reading. Ā ā Ā journaling, Ā actually Ā āāāāā Ā but Ā his Ā writings Ā arenāt Ā exactly Ā public Ā knowledge. Ā ā Ā itās Ā okay, Ā bas. Ā i Ā promise, Ā ā Ā he Ā says Ā with Ā a Ā soft, Ā tired Ā smile. Ā ā Ā miaās Ā room Ā ? Ā ā Ā questions Ā arise Ā in Ā his Ā now-piqued Ā mind, Ā particularly Ā given Ā the Ā time Ā of Ā night. Ā cue Ā a Ā raised Ā brow, Ā a Ā scratched Ā temple. Ā ā Ā i Ā know Ā sheās Ā a Ā night Ā owl Ā sometimes, Ā but Ā this Ā couldnāt Ā wait Ā ātil Ā morning Ā ?Ā god,Ā whatāsĀ goingĀ on,Ā areĀ youĀ twoĀ ā¦ civilĀ againĀ ?Ā ā Ā never Ā mind Ā that Ā āāāāā Ā basile Ā seems Ā determined. Ā and Ā thereās Ā something Ā inside Ā hollis Ā that Ā feels Ā happy Ā that Ā they Ā seem Ā to Ā be Ā on Ā speaking Ā terms Ā again, Ā at Ā least. Ā even Ā this Ā sort Ā of Ā back-and-forth Ā feels Ā playful, Ā not Ā spiteful. Ā call Ā it Ā childish Ā hope, Ā but Ā thereās Ā little Ā to Ā celebrate Ā these Ā days. Ā ā Ā yeah, Ā um, Ā sheās Ā down Ā the Ā hall, Ā the Ā door Ā before Ā the Ā stairs Ā heading Ā up. Ā ā
