Beautiful Days Are Long Gone

A collection of writings, poems, short stories, chapters, and fan fiction.

[bdalg]

You've bought an old chest of drawers and discover a piece of paper stuck inside. What is written on that piece of paper?

Abigail,

I know that our time together was short, but it was some of the best times of my life. I have never met someone like you. You are wild a free and I am honored to have spent the best summer of my life with you. I will never find another friend like you. I hope that I’ll see you again someday when we are old and gray and will laugh about the days in the sun. Thank you for everything. 

Yours fondly, 

Samantha

[bdalg]

3/7/2020

I know about heartbreak. I know it inside and out. I know about sleepless nights and not eating enough. I know about heartbreak in a way that no one else can. No one could possibly understand all the losses that I have endured. Friends, family, lovers.

It’s probably for the best that I’m so closed off and unapproachable. At least I like people to think of me that way. It’s better than having to lose someone else. 

I do miss it sometimes. Intimacy. Being close to someone. Touch.

I actually think there is something wrong with me. How could I want something and not want something at the same time?

I want to start over somewhere new. Somewhere where no one knows my story or what happened to my family. Somewhere where I can be someone, anyone else. Instead, I feel trapped. Stuck. Forced to be somewhere I do not want to be. 

I suppose it doesn’t really matter. My life now isn’t bad, it’s just not what I want. I want something else. Different. I want to be free of my past. 

Do you ever wish you could take something back? I do. I have so much regret. 

I wasn’t always like this. I had hopes and dreams and wanted a future. Now, I feel like I don’t have any air left in my lungs. I feel out of my mind.  

He’s gone. 

[studyswifts-blog]

Not sure whether to use ‘affect’ or ‘effect’?

Affect is the Action

Effect is the End result

[sometimes-studying-blog]

Reblog to save a life

[levesque]

fun, unique, original, fucked up au’s

you tried throwing yourself in front of my car for the vine but i was coming to a stop so it looked really pathetic

you were being chased by my dog and ran through my backyard and tried coming into my house but you slammed into the sliding screen door and im just trying to eat cereal what the fuck

i just saw you take the last good watermelon from my shopping cart what the fuck??? come back what the fuck hiding it under your shirt won’T STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME

i tried running you off the road but you brake checked me and luckily we werent going that fast but when u stopped my car very gently touched ur bumper and im gonna insist there’s damage to  my headlight bc ur cute and i want ur number

we met as 10 year olds on  a video game and were friends for a few years before we lost contact but u moved to my city during high school and we recognized eachother holy shit you’re really hot now

youre a complete stranger and i started yelling at u cuz ur music was too damn loud at 1 am and we carried on an aggressive conversation for a long time before i realized u were literally just regurgitating the front bottom’s song lyrics to me fuck you

someone i follow on tumblr posts a lot of stuff about their crush and i started to slowly realize it sounds like a person i’ve been encountering lately and i went thru ur tagged/me and holy shit we go to the same school

i thought i was shoving lil cute secret notes into my crushes locker but it was actually your locker oops. well ur  cuter so like

i saw u at the store and we barely know each other but u smiled and i got so distracted that i ran into a can display and they all fell on me and now i’m in the hospital and u brought me ~FLOWERS~

i was at starbucks sitting by the window minding my business when u started tapping on the glass and trying to communicate something through it to me but like ?? i cant read lips and it basically turns into a huge game of charades bc ur stupid ass is bad as communication and my stupid ass is bad at understanding communication

you were free running on low buildings and fell off of one and i mso sorry that your leg is probably broken but i cannot for the life of me stop laughing hahahahhHhahahahhAHHAGHHHHH

feel welcome to add to this list and tag me if u use any of these cuz i wanna see

[bdalg]

watching someone fall in love is the worst and best pain imaginable. 

[bdalg]

depression

When someone else puts into words what you can't, it feels like a weight has been lifted from your soul. It feels like maybe you'll get answers to the questions you have been screaming out, begging for anyone to answer. It also feels hopeless because even though you are in the same void, the same darkness, the same downward fall, you are no closer to finding what you are looking for. 

And you are forced to keep screaming even when your throat is so raw and torn that you can barely make a noise because you are choking on blood and words that fall on deaf ears. You are forced to suffer and smile though the pain of knowing that you will never find 'the one'. Forced to live your life in the loneliest of ways because even though you crave and need touch you never want to leave your bed.

When someone can relate, you look at each other and you will their pain away because you know. You know exactly how they feel and even here, now, at your lowest point, with the blade against you skin you would rather it be you than them.

[bdalg]

July

July July took her breath away I, I, couldn't stay I see her smile creep upon my face A smile that's so out of place

July, July, July

July, July took her breath away the world still turns and the children play I hear her voice escape from my throat It takes so much not to choke

July, July, July

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, "July" ©2014

[bdalg]

The Weight Of You

The weight of missing you crushes me into a million little pieces.

My bones smashed into a fine dust that blows away, lost forever, in the wind.

My soul cries out for your touch, your voice, your kiss.

My mind turns off.

The blackness consumes every inch of me until there is nothing left but darkness.

The absence of you is so noticeable that i’ve forgotten how to live.

Your lives ended and so has mine.

Sometimes I dream of you but you aren’t there.

You are just the whisper of an echo, of a memory so faded I’ve almost forgotten what you look like.

Your voice is foreign and it’s breaks my mind into pieces that can’t possibly fit back together.

Without you I’m alone.

I feel dead.

I barely exist.

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, "The Weight Of You" ©2014

[bdalg]

Sometimes

Sometimes the darkness is too hard to see through Sometimes the shadows they real me in

Everybody's screaming now "We'll take the night!" How do you take something that was never yours? Everybody's crying now "We'll find the light." How do you find the light with your eyes closed?

I'm times I walk right up to the edge and pretend to fall. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night.

Everybody's screaming now "We'll take the night!" How do you take something that was never yours?  Everybody's crying now "We'll find the light."  How do you find the light with your eyes closed?

No, I. No, I, No, I won't open my eyes (x2)

because...

Sometimes the darkness is my only friend. And sometimes I want to hold my hand.

Everybody's screaming now "We'll take the night!" How do you take something that was never yours?  Everybody's crying now "We'll find the light."  How do you find the light with your eyes closed?

You can hear this song on YouTube.

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, “Sometimes” ©2013 

[bdalg]

Well, I didn't know making a post about my favorite Supernatural fan fiction would get so many notes. I'm a little freaked out. 

[bdalg]

Favorite Destiel Fan Fiction (2013-)

Cooking With Gas by winjennster

Painted Angles by winjennster

Ella!Verse by frecklesarechocolate (deanhugchester)

Carry On by tamryneradani

Blackbird by artsyunderstudy

In Our Nature by artsyunderstudy  

300 Things by cautionzombies  

525,600 Minutes by CaptainLaserBeam

Show Me Your Badge, And I'll Show You My Gun by avidffreader

Living in Agony by ChasingRabbits (odditiesexpress) 

Maybe Sprout Wings by @casuallyneurotic & @hesitatedisintegrate 

Fire and Ice by @castielslostwings 

[bdalg]

You Don't Fight Fair.

I think I did it again. Maybe, I'm just wrong for feeling the way I do. Do you remember the nights when we stayed up laughing?  Now, you're just gonna stand there and watch me burn. The slightest word you said felt like air under my feet I've been walking the same way as I did before. Nothing has changed living in a city of sleepless people. Things you never meant to say but said anyway. You don't fight fair.

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, “You Don't Fight Fair” ©2013

[bdalg]

Smile, Like You Mean It

Just one time, give me a smile In your button down shirt a young mans style

Don’t turn your head the cameras here I know you want to dissapear

Don’t think like that, don’t give in Don’t you ever, ever, let the demons win

Your face brings to me so much light  Come on, let me help you win this fight

Come on love, just fight the fears Your beautiful smile brings me to tears 

You are worth much more then you know So come on babe, let that smile show

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, “Smile, Like You Mean It" ©2013 

[bdalg]

A Conversation

What are your hopes and dreams she said Before I lay down and rest my head Asking me questions on the spot Most of my answers, I don’t give them much thought 

To wake up tomorrow  with a dollar in my hand and one more friend then I originally planned Maybe I could sit down a write a list  Answer it truthfully she will insist 

My reply, she doesn’t know I had some time to think it out, make it grow This time it all came out right It’s easier when you know what you want to write

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, “A Conversation” ©2013

[bdalg]

Little Boats

I’m a little boat in the sea. Won’t you please float next to me?

Slowly you drift away. I’m hoping you’ll return one day.

Again and again you leave me be. I think that I can live with this need.

You return to me my dear, once more But I’ve already made it to the shore 

Sarah Wilkie-Moore, “Little Boats” ©2013

[bdalg]

Pocket

I know that your heart is breaking Baby is your soul aching? Please don’t forget about me I want you to be happy

Carry my love in your pocket You hold my heart in your hand Please baby please don’t drop it Carry my love in your pocket

I can see it in your eyes You’re patiently waiting to die My love please don’t think like that Baby, I know where you’re at

Carry my love in your pocket Hold my heart in your hand Please baby please don’t drop it Carry my love in your pocket

I see the tears that you cry I hear the lies that you lie You’re not okay I see that your heart is haunted But don’t give in that easily

Please hold on to my love Carry my love in your pocket Whenever you need me I’ll be there Please baby please your worth it Carry my love in your pocket

[bdalg]

I found some old notebooks with little things that I had written in them. 

I think I'll post some of it here after I edit them a little.