ranking patti lupone’s albums because i love her and have nothing to do! 🥰😝
1. patti lupone at les mouches!!!!!
absolute comfort album i swear i love it so much! there is not one song i don’t like/love and i absolutely ADORE her little giggle and thank you at the end of the songs!! she’s so cute im gonna pass out 😭
fav song: meadowlark!!! literally my safe song every time im anxious i listen to it on repeat and its the only thing that calms me down i love it so much!!
2. the lady with the torch!!
love love love the vibes of this album it makes me feel like i’m a cool ass middle aged rich woman who just got dumped and whose only way to move on from the loss of her lover is to sip whiskey in front of the fireplace while listening to old vinyls :-D
fav song: guess i’ll hang my tears out to dry!!! i love her voice so much in this and its also one of my comfort songs 😝
3. matters of the heart!!
i love how there are both ‘serious’ or emotional songs and silly ones, like shattered illusions or i never do anything twice!! one second i’m sobbing to look mommy no hands, and the next im singing at the top of my lungs to i regret everything 😔
fav song: My father/look mommy no hands! I ALWAYS FUCKING BAWL MY EYES OUT I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH I CANNOT ☺️
fav silly song is either shattered illusions or i regret everything
4. don’t monkey with broadway
i really really like this i love her live songsss i would kill to be at one of her shows and i am NOT kidding. and i also love her voice as she got older its honestly so cool 😼
fav song: If (you didn’t but you have)! i love jule styne’s music and i love it when she sings songs were she has to speak super fast and then hit really high notes, that’s like my biggest guilty pleasure if i may
5. far away places
i already said i’m a sucker for her live songs and this album is probably the reason. idk if it makes sense to yall but to me it’s like her voice here is transitioning or sum from when she was younger to now and im in love with this woman 🤗 only thing i don’t love is this version of ‘i regret everything’ cause it doesn’t really speak to me like the other one. i actually didn’t know if i should have put this n.4 or 5 so i put it here just because i’ve been listening to the other one for a little longer!
fav song: pirate jenny! such a cool song i can’t even lie i’m a big homo for songs with this vibe!!
6. a life in notes!!
honestly pretty strong and absolutely iconic album. i have to say that i have a love-hate relationship with the parts where she just talks because I LOVE THEM as i feel like im actually at a show if hers, but sometimes they can get annoying if i just want to listen to the songs 😖(i have created a playlist in which i only had the songs so it’s not that big of a deal really).
fav song: come on-a my house!! it awakes something FERAL in me like yes baby i am coming to your house and i am never leaving😏
7. heatwave
i really like it but its a genre i have to be in the mood to listen to unfortunately 😔 SHES A DIVA IN THAT PICTURE THO?!?!
fav song: hostess with the mostes’!
8. the lady with the torch… still burning
its probably weird for me to put the lady with the torch n.2 and this one last but it’s not that i don’t like it i just absolutely forget about its existence so i very rarely listen to it but when i do it’s AMAZING!!!!!!! 🥲
Warnings: (age gap) (Karen is 46) (reader is mid twenties) (slow burn) (Cheating) (smut) (Minors, I’m not in control of what you read but be warned) (smut this chapter)
Part 1
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What could go wrong with staying for lunch though, right?
You told yourself it was just Karen being nice, but you knew how you really felt at the kind offer. As realistic as you tried being, a small part of you hoped that she liked you back—
Despite her marriage that she seemed so loyal to, despite her kids, despite Karen having her life figured out, a part of you that smiled softly as she left, hoped.
On the other side, Karen trailed her way up the creaky stairs, each step light and laced with excitement she couldn’t hide. She was going to have lunch with you—
You, in your awfully thin sporty shirt.
You, who focused on maintaining eye contact while you spoke with the woman.
You, who somehow made her fantasise in ways she really shouldn’t.
Karen glanced down at her clothes as she reached the kitchen, before placing her hands on the counter in an attempt to stabilise her thoughts and excitement. Seeing you all sweaty, looking up at her with warmth in your gaze— at her too, it sent her into a frenzy.
She was admittedly weak from the way you looked at her.
Though, she’d never tell anyone that.
If anything, she denied it herself.
The heat— she told herself. It was the heat.
A shaky but controlled sigh left her painted lips before she stood up straight again. She walked back to the basement door, looking down the stairs in hopes of seeing you once more.
“Sweetheart when you’re finished, just come up okay?” Her voice rung out loud enough for it to reach your ears as you painted one of the many walls.
You paused your movements to hear her voice better, your heart beating just a fraction faster from the endearment she used. You stammered just slightly— glad she couldn’t see you struggling to find the words to respond.
“I— yeah, yes ma’am” You struggled out softly, before cringing at yourself.
The older woman smiled sweetly at how compliant you sounded, she heard your slight stammer, and she revelled in how nervous you sounded.
Toying with such a young and innocent girl made her horribly horny.
She couldn’t help but think for a moment, on how you’d sound lapping up her slick. Your chin wet from herself grinding sloppily onto your tongue, chasing friction with small whimpers falling from her mouth.
You, gazing up at her with those wide and soft eyes that revealed just how desperate you were to please the older woman. The thought made her breath hitch, and she realised just how wrong this could go if she was to entertain your crush on her.
God, she felt perverted.
But really she was just lonely, and you were that sweet escape— the sweetener in her bland life.
————
An hour and a half had passed, and by then you were finally finished with painting the final layer, as well as detailing areas near light switches and things like shelves hung up on the walls.
You finished a lot earlier than expected, seemingly getting work done efficiently when it was for a particular reason.
And there was definitely no….
particular…
reason.
Right?
You shook the thought off before cleaning up your workspace.
You left the painting tools on a bench, making sure to place a plastic cover underneath to protect the surface and other materials before walking up the stairs. A light coat of sweat had painted over your body in return, making your body and your arms, shiny.
Your arms felt weak from the constant back and forth movement of painting, your forearms even more sore from gripping the tools tightly to apply the right pressure—
Your gaze has been downcast at your forearms, massaging each side separately as you idly walked up the stairs and towards the kitchen.
Then you felt a pair of hands on your forearms, grabbing the two limbs softly as if stabilising you in place.
“Oh my god, you’re finished already?” She questioned with amazement, completely ignorant to how her hands were holding your forearms as if it were completely normal.
Obviously you weren’t watching where you were going, and the two of you almost bumped into each other until Karen had caught both you and herself.
The kitchen smelled amazing— especially after eating garbage for the past few days, the smell made your tastebuds water, and you swallowed your saliva down softly to compose yourself.
You smiled when she mentioned your accomplishment of finishing the basement, shy and hopeful. “I finished earlier than I thought I would.” You answered softly, shy under the woman’s hands still holding you.
Karen however was both excited and impressed by how you’d finished the final layer so efficiently. She knew you weren’t the type to leave things half done, or done in poor quality, so she was pleased.
And it showed on her face so clearly.
“I’m sure you did amazing,” she began, completely aware of how it sounded and your instant reaction to the praise. Your eyes opening just a little more as if waking up, the faint addams apple on your throat bobbing in a way she labelled as slutty.
Unfair, she knew that— you couldn’t control how your throat moved. But she wanted nothing more than to trace her finger up and down the skin, grazing and soothing.
She continued talking, aware of how her hands were holding your firm forearms. Your body temperature was warm, and she couldn’t help but trace one of the veins with a gentle finger.
But she had to remind herself to stop— to stop leading the poor girl on, when in the end she would be too guilt ridden to follow through.
She removed her hands as if your skin suddenly burned her.
“Anyway— let’s eat!” She excited remarked, smiling before walking away to plate your serving and her’s too. You stood there all wide eyed, confused on how quickly things had escalated. Never-mind that, you followed behind her and grabbed glasses for drinks, helping her set up the table.
The older woman held the two plates of food in her hand, more precisely, hand and cheese melts in croissants. She watched you move around the kitchen, grabbing the two glasses and some sauces from the fridge, placing them on the table.
Was it bad she wished for Ted to be more like you?
Because while Ted watched the Tv with a beer in hand, you helped her wash dishes. You entertained Holly while Karen herself cooked peacefully, even getting the opportunity to watch the two of you giggle and laugh as she stood with a wine glass in her hand, smiling and sipping at the sight.
The respectful approach you always had, the politeness you displayed, the willingness to help at any given time, was what made Karen ultimately fall for you little by little— day by day.
“Need help Mrs. Wheeler?” Your voice rung out softly, snapping Karen out of her thoughts as you grabbed the plates from her hands with a warm smile, placing the dishes down carefully.
Why’d you have to be like some kind of extra terrestrial?
You were so unlike everyone else she knew, in all the right ways.
She blinked lightly, once, before smiling and sitting down, her eyes fixed on your figure as you poured her some cranberry juice mixed with water, knowing she preferred the sugary taste dulled just a little. It was things like this that made it hard for her to be loyal.
You paid attention.
You cared, and that’s what made it easy for you to pay attention to her.
Recognising small changes she made, efforts she made, it was like breathing for you. And when her thoughts rippled back to Ted, she knew that he wouldn’t be able to remember her favourite song if he tried, let alone care enough to remember how she liked her juice.
You would know in a heartbeat that it was (I Just) Died In Your Arms By Cutting crew.
Karen’s gaze fell back down to the food she had made, contemplating whether she should take a risk. Because she knew you liked her, she had discovered that a long time ago.
And she also knew that if she was to kiss you, you’d kiss back without thinking. Which meant she decided how this went— she knew that much. Knowing you’d kiss back all needy and hungrily, was almost enough to make her pull you into a kiss right now.
But she also knew that if she did kiss you, the guilt would eat her up alive. It would be cheating, there’s no argument about that. But the curious part of her wondered if your kiss alone would be enough to drown out the guilt.
If your hands, firm and warm, would be enough to make her forget the undeniable fact that she was being disloyal.
But was that her fault?
Really?
Ted didn’t want her anymore. He didn’t care, he didn’t mind whether she came home later than usual or disappeared for some unknown reason. He was just so uninterested in her, and it hurt her.
Not because she loved him to death, but because she felt lonely knowing her husband of all people, didn’t desire her.
You noticed how she stared down at the food, a smile still lingering on her face but obviously not present in the moment whatsoever. You had washed your hands after putting the juice back in the fridge, and had already taken a bite out of the ham and cheese melt.
Only after you swallowed, you spoke. “Mrs. Wheeler, this is so good.” A small moan, not sexual but low and breathy, escaped your throat. The cougar’s eyes snapped to you across the table when her ears picked up that sound.
Her eyes lit up, sucked back into the warm moment. “You think so? I tried something new for once since I always make you pasta…” she trailed off shyly, cutting a small slice and using her fork to lift the piece into her mouth.
Her humility when complimented was adorable. She was older sure, but under that— she was still a girl who deserved to be loved endlessly. That’s all you seemed to think about for the past few months.
You on the other hand, you smiled while nodding, taking another bite out of croissant to prove your point. Karen breathily chuckled at the sight, her teeth and dimples fully on display for you to admire.
Making her laugh was one of your guilty pleasures— you couldn’t help it. Nor help the way your eyes remain ed constant on her eyes, watching the sides wrinkle. You adored every feature she bore, because she really aged like the fine wine she often drank.
Her laugh eased, and she muttered a few words before drinking her juice. “Well it’s flattering to know at least one person appreciates my cooking.” Her voice was rasp, dry from not drinking enough water.
You noticed, and noted it mentally to remind her to drink more water.
She placed the glass down, her gaze more focused on you than the food. She had forgotten about the food by now.
“Ted… well you know what Ted’s like.” She trailed off with a faint sigh, “He doesn’t pay as much attention.” She admitted more quietly before looking away from the embarrassment she felt.
She was being vulnerable enough with you to admit that she wasn’t being treated like she deserved to be by her own husband— she was being honest and raw with you.
“Well at least not nearly as much as you do.”
She trailed off, completely silent now, partially regretting telling you. Where was she going with this anyway?
That she needed you?
Wanted you to keep paying her attention?
Your lips parted at the revelation. You almost felt proud of yourself, but with the way she excused herself and walked to the kitchen island in a rush to lean against the counter backwards— you just couldn’t.
You stood up from the table, and quietly walked to where she stood looking away, unable to properly look at you. When you spoke, your voice came out like a steady reassurance.
“That doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s just how you feel.”
Karen finally looked at her, tears welling in her eyes but her lips pressed together like she was holding it together for your sake. “How?” She asked, strained and tense.
“Because you like me sweetheart, I know you do. But I can’t.”
She stammered, blurting it all out without really meaning to. She sucked in a breath before speaking again, her tone more tense, almost frustrated at how things were.
Before she could speak, you interjected. You suspected that she knew, but hearing her confront you like this— it was something completely new.
“But you don’t have to do anything.” Your voice wavered as you spoke, unsure of how to handle this without ruining what the two of you shared.
“I really like you Mrs. Wheeler.” You panted, looking away to find the words. Admitting it to her, face to face was hard.
God, it was really hard.
You were confessing a secret you’d kept to yourself for years on end, but knowing that she already knew of your feelings helped a little to continue.
“And I—“ You stopped, forcing yourself to properly look at her while you did. You wanted to do this right, in a way she deserved.
Karen simply stood there leaning against the counter, her eyes basically burning holes at you. She remembered you prior words,
But you don’t have to do anything.
It made her physically weak. Your words that were meant to sooth, was only prodding at her heart more. As if teasing it, and mocking it for all it was worth.
You were struggling to find the words until you saw her hand reach out. The words died on your tongue, and you could only stare in disbelief when she cupped your left cheek with her right hand. Her thumb caressed over a spot, grazing back and forth as she stared at you with that apologetic look.
She was apologising in advance for what she was about to do.
She didn’t need to step closer, because you did.
You didn’t say anything, afraid that it would ruin whatever was happening. Then her voice came in a barely there whisper, her last attempt in stopping this.
“I’m twice your age honey, I might as well be your mother.” It was a warning, and yet, you perceived it as invitation to lean closer.
Both your voices were now hushed, acutely aware of where this was going, and just how inappropriate this was.
“But you’re not.” You breathed out heavily as she leaned closer, her eyes flickering shut.
In Karen’s mind, this was all your fault.
Your fault when her lips pressed against yours, soft and shy as if she was testing the feeling.
It felt so soft.
The guilt she felt so intensely, melted out of her system the moment your lips pressed back. A broken whimper left her lips when she felt your hand suddenly resting on her waist.
Your other hand slithered around her waist, encircling her in your arms and pulling her closer. This kiss that was once shy, became hungry and impatient—
Karen bit down softly onto your bottom lip, then sucked the lip when she tasted a hint of metal on her tongue. You only whimpered at the feeling, the sound coming from deep within your throat— guttural and real.
You sounded so pretty.
And somehow, you had carried her upstairs to her bedroom without struggle, while kissing the older woman’s neck feverishly.
“Don’t rush.” She panted as her back met the mattress. She was breathless, her chest heaving up and down in a rhythm.
You were right on top of her, face buried somewhere in the crook of her neck. Her perfume here was prominent, so you assumed that this was where she sprayed her signature scent every morning.
When she pleaded you not to rush, you felt the feral need to please her.
“Don’t rush it baby” She repeated more steadily, seemingly more collected than before. “Please.”
You pulled back to look down at her state, her hair was messy now, splayed onto the bed. Your hands reached down to the hem of her shirt, tugging the thin material up and pulling the shirt off her body completely.
That left her exposed, laying there only in her black lacy bra. Her breath hitched when you pulled the shirt off, and she turned her head to the side, too embarrassed to face you.
It had been an awfully long time since anyone had looked at her so hungrily, let alone seen her in just a bra. Why did you make her feel so vulnerable?
She thought she hated it, but really she wanted more of it.
“Don’t look at me like that.” She scolded in a low and humiliated tone, her hands coming up to fidget in the middle of her chest— trying to hide behind her arms.
“Like what?” You smiled, discarding the shirt somewhere in the room. Your hands then moved to gently hold her wrists, tugging them away to expose her again. You pinned her hands above her head with your right hand, then used the left to caress its way behind her back.
Your fingertips felt the clasp of her bra, her back instinctively arching off the bed to aid your attempt.
Your smile was still as charming— if not brighter now that she was laying under you. “Like you’re going to eat me” she answered almost defiantly, her gaze finally meeting yours when your hands unclasped her bra smoothly.
The lace then snapped open, and you chucked the bra somewhere else too.
God, her boobs.
You froze for a second before leaning down and immediately latching one bud into your mouth. You sucked on the soft bud, your tongue swirling around it and lightly grazing it with your teeth.
Karen moaned loudly at the contact and sensation.
She gasped, loud and mouth opening as her eyes rolled back. Her hands struggled under your’s, and her back arched off the mattress, pushing herself even further into your mouth.
Her thighs clenched, and you smirked at the reaction she gave.
Just as you’d expected, she was so, so sensitive.
Sucking on her nipple alone was enough to have her knees pressing against each other, rubbing her thighs together involuntarily.
Taking that as a sign, your fingers unbuttoned her jeans and pulled the tight denim off swiftly. It helped that she bent her knees so it was easier to take off.
Her underwear was also black, and in lace.
Had she worn a matching set just because you were coming over?
“S-stop…” the woman muttered with all her might while your tongue still assaulted her nipple.
You stopped the moment the word left her mouth, and pulled away, making her whimper softly before trying to explain. Your expression was so palpable— concerned and confused, worried you had hurt her.
“Your clothes baby,” she muttered quietly, looking down at your clothed appearance.
You understood very quickly about what she meant. She was like a virgin at this point, all shy.
But you understood how overwhelming it felt being vulnerable and nude while the other person was fully clothed. It was intimidating, and you had forgotten in a frenzy of excitement and want.
“Shit, I’m sorry-“ you muttered, letting go of her wrists and sitting up before pulling your shirt off as quickly as possible, throwing it to somewhere you couldn’t care enough to remember.
Even now, you were so kind and polite— apologising quickly before fixing your mistake. You were so adorable, it hurt. Even your skin, moisturised and soft, that she didn’t stop herself from raising her free hand to trace your stomach.
She ached.
Not in a heartache kind of way, but it ached down where your knee had accidentally pressed lightly against.
Sucking in a breath, you tried not to shiver at the feeling of someone else touching with affection too. Like she was admiring you— seeing you.
Not just using you.
Shifting further down the bed, you hooked one finger on either sides of her lace underwear, and looked up at her for consent. She nodded, no hesitation behind the action.
As if on queue, you pulled the clothing down, and off her legs.
Karen had expected your fingers, but instead she saw you hold her thighs apart and lean towards her wet slick. You kissed her clit, shy and sweet like you were kissing her lips.
It made her blush furiously.
Out of everything you could’ve done, you’d chosen the most intimate and most embarrassing act. But a part of her loved that you desired her that bad.
Her hand lowered down to slither into your hair, and gripped lightly at the scalp, tugging like she was in control. You wet her first, flattening your tongue and licking the entire slick. She shivered at how you seemed to avoid her pulsing clit and her clenching hole.
You raised one of your hands up and toyed with her nipple which rested in between your index and thumbs. The action elicited multiple gasps of shock and moans.
“mhh!” She moaned quietly, her other hand splaying above her head like some kind of goddess. Her hips jerked up when you sucked on her clit, searching for friction.
You took the momentary action to act as a distraction and used your right hand to push two fingers inside her. At that, her mouth opened wider than ever before, a loud whiny gasp leaving her mouth from the unexpected sensation of your fingers shoved inside her walls.
She was warm around you, and without waiting a moment, you curled your fingers towards yourself, hitting her g-spot before pulling it out carefully, only to shove it back in and repeat the circling motion.
With your tongue, you toyed with the bean sized bundle of nerves with the tip of your tongue, swirling the nub in circles with the wetness of your mouth.
“Oh my god-“ she moaned shakily, her hips wiggling and chest arching up from how you somehow managed to make every inch of her feel like bliss.
You stopped pulling your fingers out when you felt her walls clench repeatedly, knowing she was close to falling apart. Instead, you repeatedly curled your fingers, then moved the two fingers in a scissoring motion but horizontally.
The sounds that came from it was wet squelching noises, difficult to describe.
But she couldn’t hold it in anymore, and without warning, Karen moaned in a low and throaty tone, her thighs coming to trap your head in place as she clenched them together without control.
Her thighs itself shook from the way your tongue kept swirling around her clit, your hands still slowly swirling before sliding out completely.
She looked down at you as you brought the two fingers to your mouth, sucking the juices off.
Her eyes widened, and the blush on her cheeks only reddened further at the sight of you doing somehow so bold. She felt desired in a way she hadn’t felt in years.
When you kissed her again, she tasted herself on your tongue, and when you pulled back to look at her all lovingly and gentle, she spoke before she thought.
“I love you sweetheart, I do.” She repeated quietly, her own eyes holding affection. “Remind me, exactly how long are your parents away for?”
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This was a really long chapter, and honestly I’m sorry for being gone for so long but I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter 😚
Also if anyone wants another part, please tell me and I might consider it, but I’m really happy with how I left it.
Requests are open too so feel free to just ask, I’ll always answer.
I got so tired towards the end but 1… 2… 1…2…3 Release ‘em
high as hell listening to to vacillator by ethel cain thinking about joan ramsey
"if you love me keep it to yourself"
thinking about joan finding it easier if whoever her love interest is just doesn't express their feelings because then she can just think of them as a sinner and remove herself from it.
"if you want you can bite me, and i won't move"
again, joan removing herself from it all. if she doesn't respond or if she's not the one i itating anything it's not her "fault"
"you won't lose me to thunder or lightning, but you could to crowded rooms"
to me this means joan doesn't fear god but she does fear her role in this, and also the social repercussions of this
every time I see a low quality video of patti looking like it was recorded with a microwave, ik it's gonna be the best thing I’ll ever watch on the internet
