You were the hardest lesson I ever had to learn.

[myheartin--words]

I still have the flowers you bought me last Valentine’s Day. They died a while ago along with the love you used to have for me. I sometimes sleep in your sweatshirt because it reminds me that what we had was real. It doesn’t smell like you anymore but it comforts me to know that even though you don’t love me anymore, you did. You used to. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sound of your voice. It’s been months since I’ve seen you last, but I can still hear you moaning my name if I try hard enough. I visited your town last week. Every single spot had a memory. It was a weird feeling to go back to a place that doesn’t feel as welcoming as it once did. I noticed someone covered up our initials we engraved in that bench by the boardwalk and a piece of me fell apart. I wonder if it was you. I don’t cry in my sleep anymore. My mom says I’m doing really well but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and it hurts all over my body, just like the way it did the night you told me you didn’t want to love me anymore. I don’t think I’m as sad as I was six months ago but I still miss the feeling of your hands in my hair. I recognize you as a comfortable sadness. Like realizing a part of you is missing, but understanding that it’s never coming back.

Myheartin-words (via im-sad-lets-have-sex)

[5000letters]

it’s half twelve in the morning and i’m crying like a nerd over the Hart of Dixie finale like when George is driving and he says ‘so we should just give up, it doesn’t matter that we like each other, that we’ve got loads of chemistry, it doesn’t matter that I love you?’ that’s when i started bawling my eyes out 

[deerborne]

You emailed me asking for me back. All I can think of is the time when you parked your car outside my house and had a mental breakdown. Amid your writhing and gasping in the driver’s seat, I reached out to you despite my own terror. You screamed and recoiled, clawing at the window, muttering how my fingers felt like spiders. Then I remember the time we were driving and I could just tell you wanted to drive us off the road. After it passed, you stroked the top of my hand with your thumb and said, “Thank you for praying.” The first Halloween we had together, you hid in a corner in your room and cried and threw your wireless mouse so hard it shattered when it hit the wall. When we found God, we chalked it up to demonic possession. You started treating your episodes like a battle agains the devil, and felt righteous when you weren’t reduced to tears and shallow breaths twice a month. You refused to see how cutting off one outlet for your manic energy forced another channel open. You thought you changed, but you were always still the same boy who went from grinning and rosy-cheeked one minute to stomping around in the rain, threatening to kill yourself because the software on your laptop wouldn’t install correctly. Only now, when the world started spinning around you, you didn’t think the vertigo was yours. Suddenly it was my charade, my sin, my psychosis. I became the crazy, volatile one. And very well I was, because I believed you when you told me I was the one doing all this to you.  Today I emailed you back and said we can’t have what you want because we want different things. Which is true, in a way. You want someone you can punish for not matching the archetype in your head. I want to cut every damn string that ever tied my heart to you. You almost killed me with my own empathy. Never again.

The email I should have sent /.w.m.w. (via deerborne)

[heartofthebitter-mindofapoet-de]

Letters To The Next Girl That Loves You – He is terrified of needles and driving on highways and falling in love. He will not tell you that his brother died from a heroin overdose, or how he crashed his first car two days after getting it, or that every time he’s handed his heart to someone, they said it was too heavy but if you listen closely, you will know. There are seventeen scars on his left arm in the shape of cigarette lighters. There are many things he will never talk about. That is one of them. Sometimes he will drive too fast. Do not let this scare you. There are things he needs to run away from. Let him. His mother will call you by the wrong name and his father will give you dirty looks when you go downstairs in the morning. At first this will bother you, but then you’ll be reminded of the girls with hearts carved out of stone that left their son so broken he could not speak for six days and then tried to set fire to everything they ever touched, including himself. You will understand their apprehensive stares. You will understand why his hands never stop shaking. There is always a new flavor of smoke clinging to him. Somehow, it will always remind you of home. Somehow, you will always feel homesick when he’s gone. By the time he gets to you, he will have already convinced himself he was not made for love and on some days, you will wonder if he loves you at all. If you’re reading this, the answer is yes. His heart is tied to his ribcage by a thread and sometimes you will not find a heartbeat but if you shake him hard enough, you will hear it. I promise you he will get better. What I’m trying to say is, I hope you’re the last girl that has to read this letter.

Letters To The Next Girl That Loves You // Lindsey Hobart (via heartofthebitter-mindofapoet)

[the-inner-observer-deactivated2]

[blossomfully]

“Fuck,” she said, “I’m going to miss you. I wish you didn’t have to go. We have everything here, and I love you, I never imagined I’d say that in the same sentence as goodbye.” She said, “it feels like life is always messing with our heads. Distance is taking everything away. I will love you no matter where you are, but it’s killing me, the thought of reaching and reaching and feeling nothing but empty space.”

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #173 // Distance (via blossomfully)

[beautifully-broken1215]

i’ve grown so unattached from people like i could literally move across the country tomorrow and not give a shit about leaving anyone except for like 3 people

[missinyouiskillingme]

I think the saddest thing someone could ever say is ‘please don’t leave me’.

(via dannytylerrr)

[shouldnt]

Wtf haha

[firstknivesclub]

I can’t stop laughing

[thedolo]

[oknope]

my diet plan: - make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get the thinner i look 

[fuckoffimdone-deactivated201405]

Per the man law code and if not it should be

[blueshogun96]

I applaud this.

[raptorjesusbearcavalry]

Ok so it was nice of him to do that and all, but are we just gonna ignore how fucking INGENIOUS it was for him to put it under the toilet seat?

[ambris]

Like, I’m simultaneously mad at the girl for cheating, impressed with the decency of the guy letting the boyfriend know, and blown away with the creativity of the placing the note there.

Many mixed feelings.

[4am-reflections]

12am: Sneaking out of our bedroom windows, running away from reality and wishing life away. 1am: Walking down the darken roads, cartwheeling and dancing under the streetlights. 2am: Getting into the back of your truck, sipping wine and telling the stories we swear never to tell. 3am: Counting the stars, confessing our love and promising each other the world. 4am: Holding each other underneath the night sky, whispered words and laughing during kisses. 5am: Watching the sunrise, feeling the wind blow through our hair and singing our favourite songs. 6am: Eating diner food, playing with the children’s menus and stealing the others breakfast. 7am: Coming back home, long heartfelt goodbyes and hushed I love you’s. 8am: Laying in bed, reliving the night, falling asleep with a smile on face and you on my mind.

With you, 4am (via 4am-reflections)

[whisperingbones]

March 4, 2013 I was unpacking when I heard you walk in. I had on light pink lipstick that I found at the bottom of a box. You put a few things on the counter and handed me my car keys. I kissed you and asked if you could help me move the bed. You said you needed to talk. I keep replaying this over and over in my mind. I don’t think I’ll be able to unpack the rest of our boxes. April 4, 2013 It’s been a month since you left. Mark says you’re not coming back. I can’t sleep. Are you awake? May 4, 2013 I finally went to the doctor like you had begged me to. You were right and yeah, I’ll be fine. June 4, 2013 I sold my engagement ring at a pawn shop today. I bought expensive lipstick and flowers. I also bought a lot of beer and a carton of cigarettes. I’ve lost a lot weight since you last saw me. My friends from high school that I haven’t seen in years hardly recognize me. It’s weird being back in this town without you. I spend most of my afternoons at the beach. I saw a sea turtle today while I was swimming. I miss eating breakfast food at midnight with you. July 4, 2013 I stumbled across the video of you in the car singing Taylor Swift. I deleted it before it played all the way through but I have to admit it made me laugh. I can’t remember how your voice sounds saying my name. I broke down and called you. Thank you for not answering. August 4, 2013 I dropped my cigarette in my lap when you drove past me today. September 4, 1012 I went on a date. He thinks Bud Light is “quality beer”. It just isn’t going to work out. October 4, 2013 It doesn’t hurt anymore to say your name. November 4, 2013 Hope you’re doing well. December 12, 2013 Thank you for setting me free.

(via namnarae)

[hahahahaleighfromtexas]

I’m not that girlfriend who is going to go through your phone every time I see you to make sure you aren’t cheating. I’m also not the type to not let you go out with friends because I don’t trust you. I’m not here to take over you life, I’m here to make you happy and to be there by your side through every decision, obstacle, and most importantly to see you grow in so many ways. BUT DAMN I DARE A MOTHER FUCKER TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME.

[m--xx]

^^^^^^^^

[uglyassprettyboy]

Listen…lol

[show-me-what-lov3-is-deactivate]

Let’s be honest. No matter what happens, no matter where we are in life. Together or 1000 miles apart, even if we haven’t talked in 20 years, you’ll always be on my mind. You’ll be the first person I was with for more than a year, you’ll be the one who made me smile when I felt like I couldn’t, you’ll be the only one who was ever able to talk to me when I was depressed. But most of all, you’ll always have a piece of my heart, you’ll always be the one I wanted to spend my life with. Because you’re the first one I truly love.

(via taken-by-the-booty31)