millionseconds

MINORS DNI; just here for seokjin x reader fics lmao

[bebabido]

Whats the best Seokjin fanfic you have ever read? Like its literally stuck on your mind. And you still reread it time to time.

Actually i am looking for some good Seokjin fanfic nowadays but unfortunately i didn’t find any in my liking.😞😢

links to my favourite seokjin fanfiction ! (i kinda dont use tumblr for anything else other than reading so idk how posting links properly really works so if any problems occur lmk!) + almost all of these contain smut it's dom jin!

Kiss Me

All I Don't Want For Christmas Is You!

Last November

With You

Cherry Topper

Elysian

Fast Lane

Lost and Found

Made Up Love Song (actually literally just go through @floralseokjin 's acc)

Sit. Stay

The IKEA Test

Don't Go Baking My Heart

Cupid's On Holiday

The Devil Wears Armani

Pretty Girl Don't Get Hurt (SO GOOD UGH)

The Horrible Un-haunting of Elliot House

The Flower Bridge (TEARS)

Cinnamon Bliss (just go thru @yoonia's all sj fics their writing is fireeee)

The Sea Prince

Counterfeit Culture (SO GOOD)

God of Mischief (AMAZING)

The Leather Loafers (CUTEEE FLUFFY)

All An Act

Birthright (CRAZY)

Grapes of Wrath (the typa fic that makes u question urself)

Raspberry Truffles (🥺🥺)

Courtship Chronicles

Kitchen Confidential

Riding Fakie

Kitchen Romance (🥰 )

Fall in Hatred (the ending makes u so happy)

Borderlines (can't forgive the author for not finishing this)

Mine For Today

Lay Me Gently (so diff that usual!)

High Heat

Fey and Wilde

Hideaway (somehow heart warming)

My Tiny Secret (goated i fear)

Whims and Inconsistencies (period aus save me...)

On The Ropes (TEARS)

Serve Me

Payment Plan (FUCKED UP)

Isn't It Romcomic (so funnn)

Revenge is a Dish Best Served…Hot?

Burn After Reading

Lady's Honor (do not support the whack ai cover use tho there's like a hundred photos of prince jinnie)

The NewsCasters

Steps In Your Shoes

Snow Globes

Last Christmas

Danger

Tangled Lights

Chameleon Boy

All Along

Off Script (I'm gonna end it all...)

Autumn of Terror (GOATED)

Let's Get Married As A Joke

Lutes & Lies

Flowers That Speak Poetry

Thin Lines

hearsay

the devils advocate

mold a pretty lie

eternalism ( one of the most goated fics of all time lowkey)

grey area: avoiding the red

[twelveohfour]

prev anon i mean smut list 2's #1 or #8 yeah

smut list 2, prompt 8: ice cube cool down (went with #8 bc it was really calling to me for some reason)

warnings: 18+, MDNI!! Established relationship au. Very much pwp. Explicit sexual content: temperature play (ice play), fingering, oral (m receiving), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, creampie.

word count: 2.8k

credits: Dividers from strangergraphics.

do not repost!! this is my original work.

The idea of summer was nice, sure, but you’d be the first to admit that the real thing sucked.

You could name about a hundred things you preferred over thick, muggy air that enveloped you without warning, a sun that beat down so hard that it was difficult to be outside before the early evening, and taking so many cold showers in a day that your hair was rapidly turning to straw. The worst part about the oppressive heat of summer? You couldn’t even cuddle with your boyfriend, had to roll away from Seokjin’s broad frame earlier that morning. You loved him, but he was like a radiator, and there was nothing less appealing than the prospect of having to peel your sweaty skin off his.

Today’s weather is perhaps the kind you hate the most, heat and humidity combining to create something truly awful. Making matters worse, your apartment’s air conditioner has been on the fritz, barely keeping the indoors cooler than outdoors, so there’s really no reprieve from the heat. You’re sprawled on the living room couch with a bag of frozen peas pressed to your flushed chest, your curtains drawn tight to prevent even a shred of light from coming in and making the space any hotter. Seokjin is plopped on the cool wood of the floor, scrolling idly through Netflix.

The black shirt he wears, the same one that you’d laughed at him for accidentally shrinking in the dryer, is more fitted than the loose silhouettes he prefers, and the thin layer of sweat that’s beading over his skin means that the shirt is nearly painted on now. If you look closely enough, you can almost see the outline of his pecs from where they press against the shirt’s thin material, a clear indicator his time in the gym was paying off. If nothing else, at least summer afforded you the chance to see your boyfriend without the several layers of clothing he favoured during the rest of the year.

Seokjin had the brilliant idea to get bags of ice earlier that he’s now dumped into a big bowl, and he fishes in it to plop a chunk into his mouth. He shakes the bowl slightly in offering. “Want some? It’s the nugget kind. Good stuff.”

You decline with a wave of your hand, content to relax with your rapidly-thawing frozen peas as your eyes lazily follow the sitcom he’s settled on.

He shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

The screen quickly becomes less interesting than the scene in front of you: your boyfriend finding relief from the heat by dragging the little ice pellets across his neck and pressing them against his collarbones, uncaring of how the ice was melting, the rivulets staining his thin shirt. Once he’s had enough of that, he glides the rounded pieces across his thick lips, and your throat goes dry as he does. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think he was trying to get a rise out of you. You can do nothing but watch the subtle motion of Seokjin’s full lips taking in the ice and getting redder with the shock of cold.

The image of his lips stretched around the rounded pieces is oddly reminiscent of how it looks when he has your nipple sucked in between his plush lips, or when he takes your clit in between his teeth, as he often liked to do. Your body begins to heat up, and this time you can’t blame the weather.

Seokjin catches you staring, because you’re really not being subtle with the way you’re ogling him, but he assumes it’s envy you’re feeling. Really, it’s another one of the seven deadly sins that’s grasping you: lust. Your brain is telling you it’s far too hot to get close to anyone else right now, but your heart doesn’t care about logic, not when the sight in front of you is so erotic.

“You good, ______?”

It takes you a little too long to register that he’s asked you a question that requires an answer, because you’re too busy watching the path of the bead of water that slips past his bottom lip and glides down the length of his thick neck, tumbling to the neckline of his black shirt.

“Hmm?” You reply, a little dazed. “Sorry, I zoned out. It’s the heat.”

“The heat, huh,” Seokjin repeats dryly, seeing right through your dumb excuse. “Nothing else?” This time, he fixes his eyes on yours as he takes a frozen pebble between his lips, keeping it there for a brief moment before he takes it into his mouth and there’s no trace of it aside from an errant drop of water that cascades down his chin. You try to snap your eyes away, feign nonchalance, but the thrum between your legs is quickly becoming inescapable.

“Come here,” he murmurs, placing a piece gingerly between his lips. You peel off of the couch, bag of frozen peas long forgotten as you sit beside him on the cool floor. He leans in to mould his lips against yours and passes the rapidly-shrinking piece of ice to yours expertly, the sudden drop in temperature making you shudder.

Jin pulls away, and this time, he traces his thick lips with the ice and presses against your mouth again. The temperature difference between your mouths is noticeable, even though it only takes a few seconds before your body heat wins out and the coolness dissipates.

“Not a bad way to cool off,” you mumble. “Beats the frozen peas for sure.”

Seokjin chuckles. “I have a better idea, if you wanna try.”

You nod quickly, eager, and jump back a little as his fingers, cool from the bowl of ice he’d been rummaging in, brush against the hot flesh of your stomach to pull up the hem of your top. You take the hint, tossing it somewhere on the floor behind you. He places a few pieces of ice in his mouth and lets them melt before he closes his now-cool lips around each one of your nipples, pebbling them with sharp sucks and light nips of his teeth that you can’t decide whether you want to pull away from or keen further into.

The cold of his lips and teeth are a shocking contrast to your hot skin as he tugs and sucks at the heated flesh, but the initial shock quickly blurs into pleasure that makes you mewl, has your clit thrumming excitedly with anticipation.

When he pulls away, yet another drop of water ruining his shirt, you decide it has to go. “Take this off,” you nearly demand, yanking at its hemline. You watch, bemused, as the shirt’s seams threaten to tear with how fast Seokjin peels it off of his broad shoulders.

Though the tight shirt was doing him a lot of favours, you weren’t sad to see it go, not when it was in the way of the real view. The creamy skin of his defined chest is revealed to you, and it’s your turn to drag the ice across his firm pecs, down his toned abdomen, watching as he shivers from the sudden chill.

“Looks like you needed to cool down, too,” you tease, picking up another piece of ice as the first one melts, leaving a wet trail in its wake. This one, you circle around the pigmented flesh of his nipples, and his intake of breath is audible when you press the shrinking ice lightly against the hot skin. His loose shorts have begun to noticeably tent, showing you just how much he’s enjoying your activities.

Before you can keep going on him, Seokjin pulls your shorts off. You hadn’t bothered with underwear; they were just another layer that’d trap heat against your body, and it’s not like you cared much for modesty at home. He raises a dark eyebrow at you, but the way his eyes quickly snap back to your slick folds tells you he’s not complaining.

The seemingly never-ending supply of ice in the bowl comes in handy when he plucks a piece up, rolling it between his index finger and thumb and spreading your thighs apart with his other hand. When he presses his cold palm to the heat of your core, your first instinct is to recoil, and the slide of a chilly finger into your now-weeping cunt makes you gasp aloud, hand instinctively moving to clutch his wrist. “Fuck, that’s cold.”

Seokjin withdraws immediately. “You want to stop?”

It’s not long before the initial shock fades into pleasure, and you shake your head. It’s the push he needs to add another finger, fucking both lazily into you. His rhythm is slower than you’d ordinarily like, but in combination with the chill of his palm as it brushes against your heated core, the feeling is heady. Before long, you’re letting out soft whines.

The cool fingers of his free hand part your folds a little, just enough to expose the small nub of your clit, and press a rounded piece that you hadn’t even notice he’d picked up right over the sensitive region. Your thighs snap shut around Seokjin’s wrist, a reflexive response to the cold, but a wiggle from the fingers still buried inside of you has your legs falling back open.

The feeling isn’t quite the numbness that comes with the cold, but instead a burn that’s almost unbearable against the nerve endings of your clit. You don’t know whether to focus on the burn or on the now-punishing pace of your boyfriend’s fingers stretching you open. “Holy shit,” you choke. “S-stings.” You press your body back into the uncomfortable wood of the floor to get as far away from the ice as possible, but you’re no match against the unyielding strength of your boyfriend’s arm, so you can do nothing other than wait for the melt of the ice.

“Aw, but I thought you were feeling hot, though,” Seokjin coos, tone condescending. “Thought you wanted to cool down. No?” With that, he withdraws his fingers from you, and your walls flutter disappointedly at their loss. He’s quick to replace his fingers with another piece of ice, which he drags down your slit, relishing in how you squirm. But rather than dragging it against your throbbing clit as you’d expected, he slowly pushes the small piece into your entrance as he rubs lazily at your clit with a cool finger.

The ice’s size is, of course, no replacement for the fingers that had been stretching you, but your spine goes ramrod straight for a different reason. A cry falls out of your lips at the sudden burn of the ice against the heat of your walls.

“God, Jin,” you sob, frame slumping forward in overwhelm. “’s cold.”

Seokjin grins, devilish. “Kind of the point, babe.”

It feels like it’s taking too fucking long for the ice to disappear, and all you can do is writhe as you wait for the sting to ebb away. After what feels like an eon, the ice melts, and you’re glad to be met with the familiar grooves of your boyfriend’s fingers, now back to a somewhat normal temperature, as they curl against your aching walls. But that’s the only relief you get, because the pace of his fingers is borderline brutal now, making wet, sloppy sounds facilitated by the remnants of the ice and your own slick.

Your mouth falls open, no sound coming out. Despite all of Seokjin’s hard work cooling you down, the telltale heat of an impending orgasm runs down your body, pooling deep in your gut. With a few last harsh pumps inside of you, your walls tighten around your boyfriend’s now-drenched fingers, heart thudding in your chest as you let out a string of curses interspersed with his name.

“Feel good?” he asks, like he already knows the answer to the question.

You nod quickly. “Feel great. But how’s it fair if only I get to cool off?” you murmur, voice dripping with pretend concern.

Seokjin’s eyes narrow, like he’s not quite sure what you’re about to do, but when you scoop up a few pieces of ice and plop them into your mouth, he figures it out pretty quickly. As you swirl the pieces around in your mouth, your cold fingers slip past his waistband, a smile tugging at your lips when you realize he’s also foregone underwear. His length is hot and throbbing in your hand, and when your hand squeezes around him, it’s his turn to be shocked by the ice’s chill. “Fuck. Warn me next time,” he hisses.

The ice in your mouth has more or less melted, and before your mouth and tongue can get too warm, you lean down to guide the leaking tip of his cock past your lips. You’re met with a near-instant buck of his hips that pushes more of his length into the chill of your mouth, making you cough in surprise. The groans you coax out of Jin in response are worth the stretch of your throat as it quickly becomes raw.

“Cold enough yet?” you tease, slipping a few more pieces of ice in your mouth as you take a second to breathe. When you take him down your throat again, you’re met with a salty taste that tells you just how much he’s enjoying this, and that wills you to go as far down as you can on him. You watch intently as he squeezes his eyes shut, working his teeth into his lower lip; his expressive reactions have your pussy clenching around nothing.

Seokjin doesn’t let you keep going for much longer before slipping out of your mouth, his flushed tip falling against your chin. “Flip over,” he grunts, pulling a pillow off of the couch so your knees don’t bruise on the hard wood. You barely have a moment to catch your breath before you oblige.

You’re both so worked up, and it's just so hot, that he doesn't bother with any of his usual teasing, just gathering enough moisture at the head of his fat cock to ease the slide in. With a snap of his hips, he’s all the way inside of you, and it feels like your breath is knocked out of you. “Shit, baby,” you whimper at the stretch. “So good.”

He only gives you a few beats to adjust to the intrusion before he begins driving his hips forward in earnest, thrusts accompanied by sharp breaths. Clearly, he’s too affected by your earlier foreplay to hold back any longer. Jin’s pace is so fast your eyes are going unfocused, but you’re grateful because the blistering speed means his hot skin is pressed against yours for the shortest time possible, allowing him to fill you up without either of you getting overwhelmed by the heat. It’s a win-win situation, really.

Of course, you’d prefer to have a full view of your boyfriend’s face and watch all of his little reactions as he fucks you, but at least his cock stretches you out nicely in this position. When your arms get weak, sending your chest to the cool floor and your hips upward, it lets the head of his dick kiss a spot inside of you that has your toes curling and Jin groaning. “F—fuck,” you pant out.

Seokjin drags a few pieces of ice down your spine, making you whine in surprise. Your skin is burning so hot, you’re almost shocked there isn’t an audible sizzle when the ice meets your back. “Liked that?” he grunts in response to the way your cunt squeezes around him, slowing his pace to a languid roll. His thrusts are getting more and more irregular, and it’s clear he’s falling apart himself.

You bring a hand down to toy with your clit, needing just a bit of additional stimulation to push you to your end. Your body goes almost feverish as your orgasm washes over you, making any sort of cool relief the ice might have granted disappear. You cry out something that maybe sounds like Seokjin's name as the muscles of your pussy begin to spasm hard around the intrusion, and a few sloppy thrusts later he spills into you, grunting low as he does.

Your knees, evidently tired of bearing your weight, begin to shake on the pillow your boyfriend had so thoughtfully given you. You roll over onto your back, catching your breath as you take in Jin’s appearance: skin flushed, hair dampened by sweat, but handsome as ever. When you catch his eye, he smiles tiredly, chest still heaving.

“Fuck, I’m hot again,” he pants. “Need a cold shower.”

“So much for cooling down,” you mutter, trusting your shaky legs to get you to the bathroom.

Perhaps you could be convinced to tolerate summer. With the appropriate accommodations, of course.

it’s been unbearably hot this week, so it felt appropriate to post this today lol i hope everyone is staying as cool as possible! thank you for the request, anon 💛

part of my drabble challenge! requests are still open!

[hamsterseokjini]

Weight of my heart [Part 2]

→ Part 1 here

Tags: Childhood bestfriends to lovers| Non Idol×fem!reader| Post Military Jin| hurt/comfort| Angst| lots of misunderstandings/ miscommunication| Fluff| slow burn| MDNI | Explicit Smut|

WC: 11.7k | For other works→ Master list

A/n: Fortunately this took me less time to write than the first part but I was genuinely excited and happy while writing this part. So, I hope you don't hate me for the WC and enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing it. Special mentions of "Hate You" by Jungkook for inspiring me to keep writing. There is definitely going to be more works on this genre.

Summary: After 18 months of military service, Jin, your childhood best friend has returned and so has much more..

Perhaps there were some questions you'll never know the answers to. Perhaps you'll always run out of time to confess what you truly felt for Jin. Maybe in the race of winning his love, you'll always lose because someone will always beat you to it.

Your heart sank in your chest the moment your eyes fell upon Jin. You had gone around the whole room looking for him and when you did, your heart dropped. You turned around just as soon as you had seen it as if turning around would make you forget what you had seen, as if you'd forget the twitch of pain you felt.

He was with Ha-Yun, dancing. His hands resting on her back while she leaned in to whisper something in his ears and he had laughed. A soft laugh you had heard often. They seemed comfortable.

And only thought crossed your mind, it could have been you. It could have been you if you had reached there soon. If you had taken his hands in your own sooner than her.

A bitter feeling rose in your chest at the thought of the two of them together. Ha-Yun had only talked to you an hour before about wanting to ask him out and in the time you were weighing your decision, she had already made her move. She didn't even know you liked him. She even told you about it then why were you bitter? Because she actually did something about her feelings? But it wasn't wrong of her to do that. She liked him and now she was making it clear. She wasn't you. She didn't wait for the right moment, she did not calculate all the risks involved, she did not think if he was going to reject her, instead she went for it. You hated her spontaneity but perhaps that's why she had been in and out of love while you have been stuck on Jin for longer than you've realized.

And so you realize that you've missed your chance, yet again.

Hoseok was right. While you waited for the correct moment, you've already lost him to somebody else. Jin wasn't going to wait for you. Time was not going to wait for you. This is what you have always done, waited and waited and you'd wait longer until someone else would come in and take him away.

Whatever courage you had momentarily found after talking to Hoseok had now disappeared. Perhaps this is how it'll always be. Carrying the weight of your feelings, alone.

Pained you try to leave the party silently before it even ends without telling Jin, however, as if you were connected through a magnetic pull, he found you, just as you were waiting for your cab to arrive.

“Do you have teleportation skills or what? It's really hard to find you today.” He asked, running out of breath. It seemed he had run here.

You shook your head, replacing your bitter emotions with nonchalant expressions. Right now you wished you possessed those skills so you could escape him. 

“Looked everywhere for you inside.” He huffed. 

“Why? Did you want something? I was just bidding my parents off.” You replied.

Jin looked at you quizzically for a second, “is something wrong?” 

You shook your head, your face expressionless. 

“Are you feeling unwell?” He asked again, concern lacing his voice. He really couldn’t figure what could have happened in the span of an hour that you were desperate to leave without even telling him. Why didn't you tell him you were leaving? The last time he had seen you, you were laughing on the balcony with Hoseok but right now you seemed far from the person he had watched from a distance on the balcony. His concern was justified. 

You still shook your head, denying. 

“Did someone say something to you?” He asked, stepping closer to you. His concern only bothered you more because you knew his concern came from a place of friendship.

“I’m really fine. I’m just cold waiting for my cab." 

The moment those slipped past your mouth, he had taken off his jacket and hung it across your shoulder gently even though his expressions seemed irritated, mumbling something about waiting outside in the cold. You weren’t surprised at his gesture, he had done that too many times for you to count without realising its effect on you.

Before you knew it he was snatching your phone away from your hand and cancelling your ride. 

“Jin, what are you doing? Do you even know how long it took me to get a cab?” Irritation and frustration were clear in your voice but in your attempts to take your phone back, you stumbled over your foot and collapsed into Jin who instantly held you, his hand supporting your back instantly while the other grabbed your waist. 

You stay in that position for a moment, staring at him, your heart beating loudly at his gaze, unable to look away from him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his eyebrows knitting together while his hands remained on your body. 

Clearing your throat, you pulled away from his grasp after a moment and took your phone away from him, “I’m-okay, just tired. Try standing in heels for 3 hours and you’ll know.” 

“Then give them to me.” He was joking but you didn’t know whether to be irritated or laugh at him but it dissolved some of your composure which he was quick to notice and smiled at his victory. 

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he didn't even wait for you to answer, instead he just grabbed you and headed towards his car. You had no other option but to comply with his wishes. As you always have.

You remained quiet in the car, not having the heart to look at Jin, not having the heart to satisfy your curiosity if Ha-Yun really had asked him out but it didn’t mean he didn’t look at you. He couldn’t help but be concerned for you. To him you seemed distant

“Y/n, are you sure you're okay? Do you want me to stop at the pharmacy?” He asked. All his attention lingered on you. 

You shook your head, "I'm okay."

"Y/n, do you want me to punch someone? Should I turn around?" He was joking obviously and it worked, a little at least.

You turned to him and he finally smiled as if he was happy that he had won your attention.

“Can I ask you something?” You finally asked, your hands fumbling in your lap.

“Whatever you want.” At this point he was willing to answer even the absurdest question as long as it would mean you’d look at him, that you’d talk to him. 

“Have you ever thought about what we would be if we weren’t best friends?” This time you turned your head to look at him. 

Jin's attention faltered from the road and spared a glance at you, "Why wouldn't we be friends?"  

"You think we'll always be best friends? Even if we had met some other way. Some other time, some other place?"

You watched him smile and he reached your hand over your lap, "any other time, any other day, any other universe, I will always choose you as my best friend."

You smiled sadly as you stared at your hands in your lap. Best friends. That's what you'll be.

So much for hoping for more.

"I saw you dancing. It looked like you had fun." That's all you said before you leaned against the window and closed your eyes. Even if Jin had a reply, you didn't hear it. You don't think you wanted to.

You don’t realize when you slept until Jin softly tapped you awake and you noticed you have reached your place.

The car felt much warmer than it had been when you first sat in. It had been him. You apologized for falling asleep and reached the door but he stopped you. 

“Y/n, just wait.” 

You watched carefully as he leaned behind your seat and took out a bag. You waited as he opened the bag to reveal slippers inside it.

"Wear these."

You stared at him for a second longer as he leaned forward and kept the slippers adjacent to your feet.

You realized at that moment why you loved him. It wasn't because of familiarity. It was because he was who he is. He would do the bare minimum but your heart would flutter because nobody had ever done it for you so you would think it special but that's just who he was. Just like now. The way he offered you his jacket without thinking, how he had turned up the heater in the car so you slept comfortably, that he had carried spare slippers and offered it to you. You loved him for the things he didn't even pay attention to, he did those things thoughtlessly but to someone who had been hopelessly in love with him for years on end, it anchored your feelings to permanence.

You wanted to ask if he did that for every one but you knew you wouldn't be able to appetize the answer so you don't. Not after you had seen him with Ha-Yun. Even if he did it for everyone, just for tonight you could feel special but tomorrow you'll remind yourself again that it wasn't special. It's just him being himself.

Jin's expressions were unreadable as you smiled at him and said, "Always know how to make a girl feel special."

You took off your heels and slipped into comfortable slippers he gave you.

“Are you really that tired or is it something else?” He asked. 

“I really am that tired,” mentally but you don’t tell him that. 

“Do you want me to cook you something?” He asked, worried. 

You shook your head with a pursed smile, “Just need some sleep, that’s it. You should go home.” 

He couldn’t ask any further. If there was one thing he knew you did was shut off every time something would happen and all he could do was wait for the time when you’d be able to come and talk about it. Over the years he had seen that multiple times, there were even patterns but he was oblivious of it. 

He doesn't ask anymore, instead he just watched you walk away from the car, towards your building. Alone in the car he sighed, and then he took out his phone and texted you.

[12:47 am]

Seokjin: Whatever it is, I hope you're okay. I'm here for you.

You don't see Jin for a while. At first it was unintentional, it really had been a busy month with auditing but then it had become intentional.

You were avoiding Jin, to protect your own heart. To erase everything Hoseok had given you hope for and go back to your normal life. To pretend you weren't in love with your best friend because that was the only thing you knew how to do. All because you had received pictures from Hoseok when you were working at the office on the weekend. It was a picture of all three, Jin, Ha-Yun and Hoseok on an amusement park ride and attached to it was a picture of just Jin and Ha-Yun eating ice cream sitting together. Hoseok had sent a "?" to ask you what was going on and you will not deny, you zoomed in on the picture to see both of them eating chocolate ice cream but all you had sent back was a thumbs up and told him to have fun together.

Jin had of course asked you to accompany them on the plan but he didn't force you and you really wanted to focus on something else for a while so you had denied. And you were glad you did.

Then a couple of days later you received another dinner picture then another week later you received another picture. But in all honesty you were able to switch to your normal life, one that wasn't built around Jin even though you still kept thinking of him. You were finally able to suppress your feelings for him. You were willing to wait on the side line and maybe someday you'll be able to move on, let go of any hope you never admitted you carried.

But just how you can't push the door close when there's pressure from the other end, you too came crashing down in a single night on Jin's birthday.

You were meeting him after a long time and momentarily you forgot you had created a distance between you two. All your suppressed feelings came to the surface. One look at him and you forgot that you had been in pain because of him, you forgot that all these weeks you avoided him so you could learn how to dismiss all your hopes. You forgot you had practiced the art of loving in silence.

Tonight your love was loud, shattering, even bitter. You had let yourself melt in the hug when you wished him and he told you that it had been so long since he last saw you that he was forgetting your face, that he missed you, and actually said the words. And that was perhaps the first mistake. You shouldn't have forgotten but you did. You shouldn't have let yourself get carried away.

You laughed with him, drank with him, talked with him, even danced with him. For the first time in a while you truly felt that it was just about the two of you. It truly felt easier to be around him, to be with him. For the first time in a while you didn't feel the crushing weight of missing your chances with him.

But all it took was one glance at Ha-Yun and Jin talking and laughing in the kitchen and you were instantly reminded of the months of rebuilding you had done. All the walls you had built up.

Right. You were always the second option.

Your eyes lingered on their figures in the kitchen long enough for Hoseok and even his friend to notice it and like a good friend Hoseok did the only thing he knew, distract you.

"Y/n, you wanna play?" Hoseok asked, blocking your vision. You turned to the video game his friends had put on and with a forced smile you agreed. It was going to be your escape mechanism.

You spent a good part of the night gaming with other boys, drinking, eating that you barely register how many drinks you had drunk. In trying to drown Jin and Ha-Yun's voices, you had been louder, your laugh had been louder, your drinks had been more and inevitably it took a toll on you late at night when you stumbled on your way to the washroom.

You didn't even know Jin had followed you into the bedroom when you went to the washroom. You stayed there for a long time, collecting yourself, washing your face, just staring at yourself in the mirror for the absurdity of tonight. You couldn't even recognise the person in the mirror but you promised yourself that if this was becoming unbearable you'll take space from Jin until you were better.

You had been there long enough and Jin grew worried by every passing second. After you were in there for over 15 minutes, he decided to knock and ask if you were fine.

"Y/n, are you alright in there? It's been a long time."

Maybe you didn't heard him so he knocked again. But after the third attempt, you hear the knock and opened the door.

And there he was, his hair dishevelled, hands in the air as if he was about to knock again, his eyes wide that showed just how worried he was.

You smiled at him and nodded, "I'm okay. Just needed some time. You know I'm not a social person."

He wasn't convinced though. He grabbed your hand and made you sit on the bed as he kneeled in front of you.

"I'm okay, really-"

"Do you know how many drinks you had?" He asked, finding the bottle of water on his nightstand and opened it for you.

You pretentiously thought for a moment but it made him more worried so you just chuckled and told him the truth, "maybe 5 or 6? Definitely not more than 6."

He shook his hands in front of you in a fast wave, "how many fingers are these?"

You rolled your eyes, "three. Are you done?"

He grew relieved and offered you water.

"had me worried there for a second when you stumbled in here. Thought you were throwing up." He said watching you drink the water.

You smiled at him, "what would you have done had I not opened the door?"

"knocked it down." There wasn't even a hint of quip in his voice. It sounded like he really would have.

You patted his shoulder and snickered, "and made me pay for the damage?"

He shook his head trying to stifle his laugh.

You follow his face, your face adorned with a smile. You poked his face as he tried to keep a serious demeanor.

"Come on, I'm okay. You've seen worse."

He took your hand that was poking his face and looked up at you.

"I can't be sure, you're old now."

You gasped loudly, making him laugh. You mockingly touched your heart.

"I'm never recovering from that statement."

He was still laughing but he took a seat next to you.

"There's definitely a lot of truth to it."

You rolled your eyes at him, "says the man whose birthday just turned him a year older."

"Please, I'm young at heart." The statement made you laugh and you momentarily lean into Jin, one he doesn't push away instead you think he leaned into you.

Once you both stop laughing, you stared at both of your feet lying adjacent to each other. He was wearing pineapple socks you had given him last year while he was still in the military. You smiled at the memory.

"Do you have a foot fetish?" He asked as he noticed your line of sight.

You made a disgusted face at him, "do you ever use your brain before speaking?"

His lower puckered out that you couldn't bring yourself to look away from, then smiling he shook his head, "if I have to use my brain when I'm with you then why are we friends?"

And there it hit you again. Friends.

You couldn't help but scoff inwardly at the word. Friends weren't supposed to think about kissing while looking at their lips.

He nudged you when you didn't say anything.

"What's wrong?"

You let out a breath and divert the question, "Are you and Ha-Yun going out?"

The question shocked him to say the least. He was taken aback at the sudden inquiry, his face turning into a frown.

"Who told you that?"

You shrugged, "saw you in the kitchen. You both seemed cozy."

Jin looked at you as if he couldn't believe whatever you said, disgusted even but he tried not to show it.

He shook his head, "told you I wanted to enjoy my single life while I still could."

You closed your eyes, chuckling in disbelief, "Right."

"Why? You don't believe me?" He asked.

You shook your head, "that's not it."

"Then what?"

"Someone like you can't be single for long."

"and why is that?" He seemed curious.

You turned your gaze at him, looking in his eyes.

"Because you're every girl's dream."

He really couldn't help but laugh in utter disbelief.

"I'm being honest. If I screamed from the top of the building and asked who wanted to date you, an entire line would pull up."

He had an amused reaction, his eyebrows shooting up, "you really think?"

You nodded.

"Well then I'm glad you're not in that line." He said.

You keep staring at him at the complete oblivion of your feelings for him. Not once had Jin assumed you could ever feel for him the way you do. How quick he had always been to dismiss the idea of anything more.

So you keep staring wondering if he'd really ever figure it out on his own if you never told him.

"What?"

But you don't know if he would have because you told him.

"You are my dream. You've always been my dream, Jin."

An unattainable dream.

His breath physically stops short, his face suddenly horrified, all the blood rushes away from his face, turning him paler than he was.

"Y/n-"

"I love you."

You didn't even know tears had prickled in your eyes until you felt a drop on your cheek. And then you realize that he wasn't looking blurry because of the alcohol but because there were tears in your eyes.

Tears because after all these years you had finally confessed what you felt and you can't even describe the weight that was lifted off your heart.

He knew. He finally knew.

And as you had always expected, he doesn't say anything to you. His face goes blank. In every scenario you had ever thought you've always reached a conclusive end where the sentence always starts with 'But I don't..' and right now you weren't eager to know what he could have said instead you waited to see how long it would take for him to tell you that he didn't feel the same and break your heart.

You didn't wait for reciprocation, you never have, instead you waited for a heart break. The truth you have always known.

And then he finally spoke,

"Y/n- I don't.." and he paused.

You don't know if it was because he was finding the right words or he was trying to soften the blow but it was enough for you to know that the more you stayed here with him, the more your chest constricted, the more your throat went dry and the more your heart physically ached in ways you didn't even know was possible.

Taking your sign, you stood up.

"I'll leave."

It was finally done. You've ripped your years-long band aid off. You had told him how you felt. He didn't feel the same way and now, finally you can move on. Or try to.

"What?" Confusion was clear on his face.

"I'll just leave." You sniff, collecting yourself together, standing up.

"Y/n, you're drunk." He sighed and stood with you.

"And how does that make any difference?" It really didn't. If anything you were glad alcohol gave you the courage to confess.

"At least let me drop you off."

You shook your head. You were afraid that if you stayed a second more you'd crash into the floor with pain, with this unimaginable pain you could never explain to him.

"I need to be alone."

"Y/n, stay-"

You shook your head and took your leave.

You didn't even make it home properly before tears streamed down your face. You don't even close the door properly before you slip against it and over the floor clutching your chest at the pain you felt. All these years of loving him and you had never felt the insurmountable pain that you felt now because this was finally real. All your imagination had failed you, reality was more bitter than even the worst expectations. Nothing had hurt the way this did, not even when he had cried in your arms for somebody else but the weight of his silence, the weight of his rejection had been too much.

And nobody prepares you for the pain you feel when someone you love doesn't feel the same way about you.

Like every other person you had a naive hope that just maybe, just maybe he would have taken you in his arms and told you that he loved you too but he didn't. Jin didn't. Instead what you were met with were the exact words you had always feared. All your hope finally crumbled like glass, you were crumbling in pieces and you didn't even know what to do.. there was no best friend to run to.

That night you didn't only lose the one person you loved but you also lost the only person who was your home. You've lost your best friend and it left a bigger hole in your chest.

You don't know what you hated more as you cried a river until the morning.

Telling the truth to Hoseok came much, much later but he was there for you then.

For days you cried, sometimes on your own, on your way back from work, while watching TV. And there were times when you just felt the pain but no tears came.

Hoseok then held you when you felt numb and as you cried until you had no tears left but he didn't know how to make it any better just like you didn't. He didn't even know what to tell you because he couldn't ask you to move on from the person you've been in love with for years and you don't ask him to tell you anything, you only asked him to stay with you when you missed Jin.

There was however one thing he said that you tried not to pay attention to but you also knew one day you'll have to face the music.

"You need to talk to him. Not right now but whenever you are in a better place. Tell him that you need space instead of icing him out."

By that he meant to ask you to not throw two decades of friendship to waste. You knew even if you iced him out today, there was going to be a day when you'd have to face him whether you liked it or not.

You just didn't expect that day to come this soon. 2 weeks of no contact was broken at a family lunch. You had tried getting out of it, refused the invite too many times but your mother threatened to show up at your place if you didn't show up. You knew you'd have to face Jin and there was nothing that prepared you for that. At last you decided, you'd leave earlier so you wouldn't have to stay for the whole thing.

You were finishing setting up the table when Jin arrived. Your eyes averted to him at the door and he couldn't take his eyes away from you either but you were the first one to break the staring contest. You don't greet him, you weren't there yet but there was a part of you that hated not being able to talk to him. You missed him dearly but this was for your own sake.

You didn't speak to each other during lunch at all even as you sat across from each other, even when you both reached for the same thing, even when he coughed choking on a spring onion. It was like two strangers at a table and it was so foreign because you've never known these faces of each other.

"Why are you two so quiet today? Did something happen? Y/n, did you beat him up?" Your father asked.

You gasped, "Appa¹."

Jin intervened, shaking his head, "I'm just stressed. Going back to work has been hectic..."

Jin took the whole conversation to himself, he kept talking about his return to work and you knew he did it to divert attention from the elephant in the room. He was trying to take the steam off you so nobody questioned you anymore and you felt a swell of pain in your chest at that. He was being considerate but you loved it and hated it the same. You didn't want him to be honest but you didn't need him to be your knight in shining armour.

Unfortunately, you weren't able to leave earlier. You should have known. By the time you decided to leave it was past 8 pm and you were outside debating whether you should take a cab or not when both of your families came out to bid you goodbyes.

"Y/n, did you bring your car?" Mrs. Kim asked. You politely shook your head.

"In repair. It broke down a few days ago."

"Perfect then, Jinie will drop you," she said excitedly. You both share a look with each other but you don't say anything.

Jin's father patted his back loud enough to hear a smack, "he was going to drop her anyway, isn't it?"

You hesitated telling them that you'd take a cab or take a subway but it would only result in more suspicion and Jin sensed that too. Better at you than tackling difficult situations he spoke up.

"I'll drop her off, don't worry. I'll just bring my car around." He said. You don't even get a chance to say anything before he is off to bring the car.

You stayed there with boxes full of food both the mother's packed for both you and him, not even packing it in separate boxes. They said you could split it on your own. If only they knew that you haven't even spoken to each other in 2 weeks.

Just in time he brought his car and opened the door for you. He took the boxes from your hands and kept them in the backseat before getting in the driver seat.

As soon as you both were far enough from the house you finally spoke up, "Drop me off at the nearest train station. I'll go from there. You can take the food with you."

"So, you can speak." He doesn't hide his sarcasm at all. He doesn't even try to hide the fact that he was fuming. You saw his knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel tighter. His jaw clenched but you didn't say anything about it. You didn't know you could have said that would make this situation any better.

"Jin, we just crossed the station." You said as soon as the train station went past you.

"I know." He replied. His attention never turned away from the road.

"Drop me off right there, I'll walk till the sta-"

"If you don't want to talk to me, don't, but I'm dropping you off." His anger was visible in his voice.

"Jin, stop the car-"

It only took one look from him before you shut up.

"If you want to sleep you can. I won't say anything."

Defeated, you don't intervene further. You knew he would never let you go alone as long as you were with him. That's not who he was.

And for the first time silence felt the heaviest. You couldn't help but constantly think about how much you missed him. If you hadn't opened your mouth on his birthday right about now he would be making you laugh with some dad joke. If you hadn't told him how you felt, he would be talking non stop and you'd be mesmerized to see him talk. If you hadn't told him how you felt, you wouldn't be missing him when he was right next to you.

He only spoke to you when you reached your apartment and he helped you carry boxes of food upstairs.

"You can keep these boxes." But as he didn't hear you in the car, this time you don't.

You opened the door to your apartment and immediately entered the kitchen, placing boxes on the counter.

"I'll leave-"

"I'll transfer these into other boxes so you can take them." You tell him already searching for the boxes.

"I said I don't need th-"

"Would this be enough?" You showed him the boxes. Sighing he nodded.

He watched you as you transferred the food in other boxes in silence. There were so many things he wanted to say, things you wanted to tell him but neither of you spoke up. Tension thick enough that it could not be cut with a knife either.

And after you were done you handed him the boxes, "You don't have to return these."

He nodded.

"And, don't save me the next time our parents say something. You can tell them the truth."

Whatever composure Jin was carrying with him collapsed when you said it.

He scoffed, dropping the boxes back on the counter, "told them the truth? What truth are you talking about Y/n? That I've been texting you for the last two weeks and you haven't returned a single call, a single message, that you were icing me out?"

You nodded, "Yeah, you can tell them that."

He let out a frustrated scoff, his hands running through his hair.

"Aren't you being too much? I only ever asked you if we could talk."

Your face clenched and your voice rose as equal as his, "and talk about what exactly?"

"Talk about us, Y/n, Us!" His voice grew even louder. You've rarely seen him as angry as he was right now.

"What 'us' Jin? There is no us! I told you how I felt-"

"and then you stormed away. You couldn't even own up to your confession."

It hurt you, it really hurt you the way he spoke to you. No matter what had happened between the two of you, he had never used that tone with you before and you couldn't tolerate his anger. He didn't deserve to be angry. You did.

"How else do I own up to my confession? Should I tell you again? Should I lay out to you, text you, scream from the top of the building, or tell everyone in passing that I love Jin and embarrass myself more if this wasn't enough."

He turned away from you, his chest heaving and suddenly as if he couldn't take it anymore he turned around and came closer to you, "For starters you shouldn't have told me that when you were drunk."

You bit the inside of your cheek and stepped forward so you were facing him, standing tall against him, your tears threatened to spill your eyes but you stood firm, "Don't tell me anything about drunken confessions. At least I didn't drunkenly kiss you and pretended it never happened."

Struck with a blow his face turned pale, "You-"

"I remember that kiss. The one you lied about. It was so easy for you to lie about it but I can't lie about it. I wouldn't. I'm not you. If you want to pretend my confession never happened for you, go ahead but I wouldn't turn away from my confessions like you did." You didn't know where all the bitterness came from but letting out the truth felt much free.

"Why didn't you ever say anything about it?" His voice, though still angry, was suddenly much calmer.

"about what?"

"About the kiss? Why did you pretend it never happened?" He closed his eyes for a second letting out a long breath. And although his voice was calm, his demeanor wasn't.

"Because-" you tried to say something, but nothing came out.

"Because what?" He asked again.

"Because I didn't know how to. You were in love with someone else and you were in pain because of some other girl. I couldn't stand there and accept that we kissed and ask if it only mattered to me."

Your heart shattered as you saw his eyes well up with tears. He was angry for whatever reason and you could understand that but you couldn't understand why this would make him cry.

"Your problem is that you confronted me. That's why you stormed out that night. That's why you can't own up to your confession."

It pissed you off to no end. You didn't want to hate yourself for loving him, you didn't want to hate yourself for kissing him, you didn't want to hate yourself for confessing to him because you already did but you never imagined, you never wanted him to use your confession as a weapon against you. You hated it and you hated him right for the way he was making you feel for loving him, for the way you told him how you felt.

"Get out." You said and then again, louder this time.

"I said get out."

Baffled, he stood there for a moment but when you didn't say anything again he turned around and left.

That night, you watched him walk away from your door. He didn't turn around, not even once but you watched him stay in his car for a long time before he drove away. And only then you cried. Only then you let yourself feel the pain of his words, only then do you hate yourself for hurting him the way you did, only then do you hate him for saying the truth.

He was right. You didn't own up to your confession. You couldn't. Why? Because you didn't want to hear the words "But I don't feel the same way." You loved him but you wanted to protect yourself from the earth shattering pain of actually hearing a rejection and you didn't think it was wrong. It was the only thing you could do for yourself and somehow Jin had made you hate yourself for it.

All that time you cried, in pain, in anger, it never occurred to you that he was angry too, and that you never asked why he was so mad at you when all you did was tell how you felt.

In all the fights you've had with Jin this was by far the longest, and the most hurtful but in a weird way it made it easier for you to deal with the outcome of your confession. The way you two had fought had left you angry with each other and you assume he was pissed at you too because in the last 2 weeks he didn't reach out even once. Maybe it was all for the better, maybe you needed this to feel better because since that night you haven't cried even once, you felt sad but didn't cry.

And Hoseok said it was an improvement. After having seen you cry for and feel numb over Jin, he said the fight brought back some colour in you and you didn't know whether to laugh at that or agree to it. And so he called for a celebration in the most unusual way.

Clubbing.

You refused at first, arguing that you were more of a homebody and that clubbing wasn't your thing but in his words it was the best way to celebrate. And you felt bad for calling and crying to him so often that you decided you could do this for him. If something happens, you'll leave the place soon.

So, there you were dressed up in the same black dress you wore at Hoseok's parents anniversary because it fit the occasion really well and it was also the only black dress you had (Hoseok had given you a theme for whatever reason).

You entered the club alone because Hoseok said he was stuck in traffic. He told you to enjoy yourself for a while before he arrived so you let yourself be a little free. After weeks of wrenching pain, you allowed yourself a little freedom.

You sat at the bar and ordered drinks for the two of you and Hoseok arrived just a bit after you had ordered and he immediately took you to the dance floor without even greeting you.

In his words it was dumb not to dance at a club, so with a drink in your hand you danced uncomfortably at first but then you gradually remember your moves from your early twenties when clubbing was a frequent thing. You let yourself get mixed up in the electrifying air of the club. Bodies dancing, people screaming, drinks. You let yourself loose, you let yourself have fun, you let yourself forget everything that has happened with Jin in a while. At that moment everything could wait. You decided you deserved this.

But as if the universe had other plans, your eyes fell upon a man who looked too familiar to be a stranger. It was an uncanny similarity to the broad shoulders you've been used to seeing. You don't even realise when Hoseok was replaced by some other man behind you when the familiar man in front of you turned and it revealed to be Jin.

You almost gasped, you think you did but you're unsure as you kept watching Jin who had found you just as immediately as you had. He looked devilishly handsome and for some moments you don't remember the pain, the fight, all you remember is your love for him. All you see is your best friend you've been in love with for as long as you can remember. Your best friend who has always looked good in leather, your friend who looked unfairly hot, your friend tall enough to tower you, and every thought a friend shouldn't have went through your head.

You keep staring at him, watching his features twitch, especially the way his jaw clenched and the way he raised an eyebrow at you. It only occurred to you that he was real when you felt a hand on your back and you immediately realized that it couldn't have been Hoseok. He'd never touch you the way this man did and you visibly flinched. But before you could even react, turn around and shout at whoever it was, Jin had taken the matters in his own hands and had dragged you to him and for once you were glad that he did. A relief ran through you at the familiar figure but it doesn't take long before Jin is taking you out of the club and to his car.

"Not a word." He said before you could even say anything. You followed his lead as he opened the door to his car and you sat down quietly. It doesn't occur to you at all that you left Hoseok alone, inside.

All your focus was on the way Jin clutched at the steering and was speeding at an unusual speed. He was mad? That was your best guess but truth be told now that you were out of the club, you felt more relaxed. You were glad you had found Jin there even though you haven't spoken to him in days.

For the first time in a while Jin pulled up at his place.

"I thought-"

"Let's go upstairs and talk." That's all he said until you reached his apartment.

You entered his place to a citrus smell that you immediately identified because of the tangerines on the kitchen top.

"I'll do a cab and-"

"I thought you liked me?" He said, taking off his jacket hastily and tossing it aside.

"What?" You frowned.

"I thought you liked me but there you were at the club dancing with a random guy." His jaw was clenched.

This was frustrating. Whatever was going on between the two of you, it was irritating you.

"Why do you care?" You asked, taking off your coat as well. His place was unusually warm.

"I care if you dance with a random man." He said towering you and you realized then that you hadn't even made it into the living room. You were fighting again, at his doorstep.

"Exactly. Why do you care if I was dancing with a random man? It's not like you like me."

You watch him close his eyes and release a frustrated sigh.

"Why do you always have to have the last word? Why do you always have to assume everything? Why can't you just- for just one fucking time stop assuming you know everything about me!"

You scoffed with a sarcastic laugh and looked away from him for just a second then looked up back at him.

"You think I don't. I know you better than you know yourself."

He stepped even closer, making you take a step back, and another step and another.

"No, Y/n, you don't. You always assume everything. You always assume what someone is going to say to you. You always assume you know better. You always assume that whatever you think is right without caring if it's true or not."

Your face clenched again. You weren't going to stand there and take more of Jin's yelling.

"I can't fight with you again, I'm leaving." You said taking your coat and turning around to open the door but Jin's words stopped you dead in your tracks.

"You always assumed I never felt the same about you."

And for the first time today his voice had gone softer.

You turn too hastily to see him wearing a sad expression.

"You- you- what did you just say?"

Jin gave a small smile and took your coat away from your hand, dropping it without looking.

"Had you not stormed out that night, you would have heard the end of my sentences. You stormed out, then you ghosted me, then you fought with me. You always assumed that I was going to turn you down but you never asked me if I felt the same or not. You never asked what I felt."

All your emotions crash into you. Tears gather in your eyes and you feel yourself pulled towards him, "You like me?"

He chuckled and took your hand bringing you closer to him.

"Why didn't you let me say anything? Why don't you?"

You bit your lip, he was teasing you, testing you but you were too close to crying your eyes out.

"Jin- just- do you really like me?"

Knowing you well enough and seeing you frustrated, he cupped your face, "I do. Hell, I love you but you didn't let me say it. You rushed out before I could tell you that. Had you not assumed my response, you would have heard this sentence, Y/n, I don't think we should talk about this right now but tell me this tomorrow morning and I'll tell you that I love you too."

"That I love you too." He repeated and you felt a tear drop down your face that he's quick to wipe it away.

And then you let yourself weep against his chest as a huge weight was taken away from your chest. You were clutching at his chest because you couldn't believe that all along, all this time he had loved you too but your stupid self had pushed him away so that he couldn't even tell you that he loved you too.

Your unrequited love was no longer one sided.

"Tell me again." You said hugging closer to his body.

You feel his chest vibrate in a soft laugh and he said it again, caressing your hair, "I love you Y/n."

And then you look up and tell him again, this time without fearing he'll run away.

"I love you Jin, I've loved you for far too long."

His eyes poured into yours and he couldn't believe the words you have said. He really couldn't but this time instead of running away you leaned forward and kissed him.

You finally kiss him. Those soft pillowy lips you had kissed only once in a drunken state when you didn't even know what you felt but this time it was real, this was better, much better than anything you've ever experienced and more than you, he couldn't believe this was real. His hands slid into your hair and behind your neck as he intensified the kiss. You were crying but the more the kiss intensified the more you forgot to cry, the more you let yourself melt into the kiss.

And you lose it when without a warning his tongue grazes across your lips making you moan allowing him to slip his tongue past your lips.

Your hands fumbled at the collar of his shirt and before you could decide what to do with it, you pulled him closer, downwards to your height that he fumbled and you both crashed into the wall behind you making you break away from the kiss with a gasp.

You feel him smile against your lips but neither of you open your eyes.

"I can't believe I finally get to kiss you." He breathed.

You arched into him and said, "Why'd you stop?"

Hypnotized by you, he moaned and kissed you even harder now. This time he doesn't even let air get in between the two of you. His lips that felt like feathers before now seemed to pull at your lips, tug at them, bite them, making you lose whatever rationality you had left in your mind. This felt natural.

Kissing him felt like everything you've ever known but also every thing you can't believe you haven't been doing everyday.

One of his hands reached behind your waist and pulled you flushed against him while the other made its way into your hair. His lips mould into you like architecture, perfect, fitted. He quickly learned that pulling at your lower lip made you moan, that it made you gasp every time you would try to separate for air and he wouldn't let you because he wasn't done with you yet.

And just as naturally you learnt that he moaned the loudest when you rutted against him while your tongue was in his mouth. You realized that he liked his lower lip being tugged at but it drove him insane if you so much so even grazed your tongue across his upper lip.

You don't realize when his lips left your mouth and went down your neck. The pleasure had been too much. You only noticed it when you let out a loud moan and Jin had to practically pull away and look at you in amusement.

And so he did it again. He kissed your neck, then sucked at it, bit it and then ran his tongue over it in feather touch again eliciting the same reaction from you.

"Fuck-" he moaned against your neck and you really couldn't take it anymore. He had the most skilled mouth and you were wondering about hundred other ways he could use his mouth all over you and that thought alone drove you insane.

"You have no clue what this dress did to me that night." He was still kissing your neck, and you don't complain.

You smile at the sensation of his hand gripping your waist tighter.

"Bet it wasn't as much as your red shirt undid me."

He let out a moan at your response and pulled away to rest his forehead against you, "I don't think you noticed but I couldn't take my eyes off you that night. Wanted to do so many things- thought about you in every way a friend shouldn't."

You looked him in his eyes and tugged at his shirt, "we've already ruined this friendship. Do everything you wanted to."

You didn't know a man's growl could make you feel feral but he did. He didn't stop, he didn't hesitate anymore. His hand reached the end of your dress and pulled it up until it was bunched against your waist. He doesn't even realise the effect he had on you, the way you were melting under his touch as his fingers grazed against your thighs or he knew exactly what he was doing and that's why he kept driving you insane.

And then his hand reached the string of your dress over your shoulder and pulled it away kissing your shoulder as he did.

"Do you like it?"

Your response came with sliding your hand under his shirt and touching him. He stopped physically for a moment as your nails raked his chest. And to make it worse your access to his neck and to kiss along his neck made him more desperate for you than he had ever imagined.

"Need to have you- Y/n, I can't-" he moaned and he slipped the other string of your dress.

"Need you too." You moaned next to his ear and that was all it took for him to take you into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him and manhandling you into the bed.

You smiled as he climbed on top of you, tossing his shirt aside, losing your sanity at his bare chest. His knees rested on the bed next to your thighs and he kept staring at your dishevelled state, your hair had proof of his hand running through it. Your neck had proof of his kisses, your lips swollen as an aftermath.

"Why are you staring?" You finally asked, feeling more naked than you were.

Then he leaned and kissed you on the mouth again.

"Can't believe my imagination is becoming real."

You chuckled but you ended up moaning as you felt his hands drop over your chest.

"I've imagined about you too."

He lifted his gaze to look at you. His eyes blown out with lust.

"Really?"

You nodded.

Then he smiled, smirked if you were right as he found the zipper of your dress and began taking off your dress. It doesn't take long before it's off and thrown away somewhere in the room and he's surprised at the sight of your bare chest.

He gulped as he looked at your chest. Blood rushed to your face as you realized your nakedness but as if he realised the actual purpose of taking off your dress he leaned down to your chest and whispered,

"Tell me everything you've imagined."

The request shocks you. You didn't know Jin was vocal in bed. You've thought of Him in bed in every way possible but never this. You had never imagined that but the idea of it alone generated a wet pool between your legs.

His fingers lightly grazed over your right nipple and he repeated, "tell me Y/n, what have you thought about me."

You gasped, your nipples hardening under his touch and just as you opened your mouth, his mouth found a better purpose on your chest. He placed open kisses between the valley of your chest leaving you a moaning mess and to make it worse his hands never left giving attention to your nipples, rolling and pinching it between his fingers.

"You- thought about your-" you moaned louder at a particular pull and Jin chuckled softly.

"about my what? My mouth?" He asked.

You nodded.

"Words, Y/n."

"Your mouth on- on my- breasts." You let out a heavy breath.

"Like this." And you whined, quivered at the way his lips sucked at your nipples. At first it wasn't harsh, only peppering it with kisses but the more you arched into him, the more he took your nipple in his mouth and sucked it, licked it, tugged at it with his teeth.

Your hand automatically fell into his hair and tugged at them but he intertwined your hands with his own leaving you quivering.

"What more? What else did you think about me?"

You shook your head, the pleasure was starting to get to you.

Jin pulled away from your chest and climbed over you so he was at face level with you.

He tuts, "I've barely begun."

You didn't mean to let out a moan but his words had you melting.

He smirked then leaned down to kiss your cheek, "is it too much?"

You immediately shook your head.

"Then do you want me to tell you everything I've thought about you?" He asked as if it wasn't the dirtiest question he had ever asked you.

You bit your lip then nodded, you really did want to know.

He smirked and before you knew it his hands were already pulling at your underwear and taking them off.

"Tell me if it's too much." It came as a sincere request but it didn't really look like he would stop if you told him that he drove you insane right now.

You nodded and then without hesitation he kissed behind your ear as his hand fell between your legs.

He had to have practice. An unusual amount of practice or he was just that talented because he immediately found your soft spot. Almost immediately he realized the pace at which you liked being touched. His thumb rested over your clit and began its circular movement then in between rubbing it gently.

You clutched at the sheets next to you as your neck arched backwards.

"Thought about touching you like this-" then tapped your clit, then one more time, then as if it wasn't enough his middle finger gathered the wetness between your legs and smeared it across your clit giving you a pleasure you didn't know you could attain, "- how you would look when I touched you like this. How wet you'd be for me."

You moaned louder at his words.

"how wasted you would be- how you'd let me touch you however I want. Will you let me?"

You nodded.

He climbed down your body, finding home between your legs.

"How you'll spread for me just at a simple touch." This wasn't enough. You needed him more and his words, god his mouth, spoke the filthiest things that turned you on even more.

And then he spread your legs. His hands pinning your thighs to the bed.

"So wet for me." He licked you, he actually licked you between your legs and you thought you'd cum right there with just a sweep of his tongue but you don't.

"Have you ever touched yourself at the thought of me?" He asked and it came to you as a surprise but then you look at him between your legs looking up at you expectantly while kissing your inner thighs just the same.

Damn the timing that made you miss all this.

"Have you?" He asked again and licked you again making you shiver. You needed him more so you nodded because you really have. You really have touched yourself thinking of him and never has it ever come close to this.

You saw him smirk, his face devilishly seductive that made it hard to look away especially when he looked this good between your legs.

"Let's see if I can make you cum harder than any time you've made yourself cum." And he licked and sucked at your clit. Your back arched with a loud groan of his name and you thought he liked your reaction because he only did it more.

He ate you harder, switching between your clit and your pussy and every switch made you scream his name. He ate you out with such precision, such attention that you crumbled too quickly in pleasure. You couldn't handle it anymore. His mouth felt too good on you, unfairly good. It was evil.

You knew it if he wasn't pinning you down to the bed, you would have pulled him away from your cunt but all your attempts to soften his process were in vain because he would only pin your hands over your lower belly.

His name slipped past your lips like a prayer and he didn't leave you until you were cumming all over his mouth, until you were overstimulated and close to cumming again.

"Jin- please." You whined.

"Please what Y/n?"

"Need you." Satisfied with your request he pulled up and kissed your mouth again. You could taste yourself on his lips and never have you ever enjoyed it as much as you did now.

"In my imagination I've made you cum more but I guess I can do that later as well."

You had no reply. The thought of this being your new relationship had you feeling electric, everywhere.

So you kiss him harder and palmed him over his jeans. He almost collapsed over you when you ran your hand over his crotch.

"You don't come with a warning, do you?" He moaned.

It was now your turn. You sucked his neck to leave a hickey and whispered, "Do you think you can handle it?"

And then he really did collide into your neck as you found your hand inside his jeans undoing his belt. He felt big, bigger than you had ever imagined and rubbing him with your hand felt surreal. Sinfully surreal.

"fuck- if you keep doing that-"

"Thought about sucking you off."

"Fuck- Y/n, what are- fuck- fuck, fuck, baby-" his moans become more hoarse, more needy as you pulled his jeans further down and clenched him in your hands.

"Jesus- Y/n-" he was very vocal about his pleasure and you loved the effect you had on him.

You tut against his neck and whisper the same words, "I've just begun."

His teeth bit too gently because it felt like if he didn't, he would combust. You felt him shiver, quiver as you fisted his dick in your hand and pumped him in your hands.

"please- jesus- please-" he pleaded. You've never seen him like this but oh how much you loved this. Liked him as needy as he was.

"Pleading already?" Pumping him faster, you too groaned as his teeth grazed at a particular spot on your neck.

"I'll cum Y/n- I'll-" but his words get lost in a loud moan that you found instantly very attractive when your thumb swiped his precum.

"Thought if you'd cum over my hand or would you cum harder if I sucked you."

In a flash his hands pulled yours away and pinned it next to your head. When you looked at his face, it was ragged with heavy breathing, his chest heaving and eyes blown out wide. He was more impressed than he could express. He's never had a woman whose mouth was enough to drive him insane but then again no other woman has been you.

Just you, only you had this effect on him.

"Need to be inside you or I'll really combust. Now."

And he doesn't give you a warning before his dick is slapping against your opening. With one hand pinning your hands above your head, with the other he held his dick in his hand and glided across your pussy making you whimper.

You knew he wasn't going to last very long and so were you. You both needed each other desperately, pathetically that you could jump his bone if he didn't enter you now.

"Shall I- protection?" Your heart melted for a split second then you shook your head.

"birth contr-" but the words don't even slip out fully before he's asking you another question kissing you again.

"You really want this, right? It's not too much, is it?" His mix of sexiness and absolute innocence and sincerity swallowed you whole. Your love for him grew tenfold. It was a simple gesture but at that moment you couldn't even explain why you liked it so much.

You kissed him and agreed, "More than ever."

And then he entered you, slow at first, giving you time to adjust all the while he kept kissing you making it easier for you to take his big dick inside you.

He was big, you knew it now when he struggled to fit in but that also made you equally wet and easier to slide in further.

"Shit- so tight Y/n. How-" thrust "-are you so-" thrust "-so tight."

You back arched as he hit deeper inside you.

"Jin- fuck- faster, please." And then he hesitated no more.

The room filled with louder moans, your name leaving his mouth like a learned recitation and the sound of your skin against each other drove you crazy.

"Would have you like this everyday- if you'd let me." He moaned, his hands intervening with yours.

"Would you let me?"

And you nodded, hastily, too quickly.

"So- big- uh- fuck-" the last word came out with a louder scream as he hit a particular spot inside of you.

And he kept hitting over and over again as he whispered into your ears how much he liked having you wrapped around him, how much he had thought of crumbling under him.

"would have fucked you that night- in the bathroom of that party- that's how much I wanted you," he confessed and somehow it made you feel ten times nicer about that night.

"You should have. Instead of flirting with other girls-"

"flirting? Baby- all I thought about was undressing you."

And you whimpered particularly louder as you felt yourself coming closer to climax.

"you're- y/n-" but he couldn't formulate his words well enough because you were clenching around him too much.

He pulled out almost to the brink, halting, "I'll cum if you keep doing that-"

You pulled him by his neck, "that's the goal."

And fucked out by you, he pushed in without warning, harder, and faster, hitting your spot repeatedly.

Your hands claw at his back, trying to find some other relief that doesn't arrive.

And then you crumbled with one push that pushed you further up the bed. And it doesn't take longer before he's whimpering in the crook of your neck, and cums inside you.

He stayed inside you for a bit as you both try to catch your erratic breath to normal. His body grew softer against you and after a few seconds passed he looked up, pulled out of you and got up to get you a wash cloth and changed the sheets.

Minutes after cleaning up you both collapse back into the bed, Jin on top of you.

You giggle, your hands threading his hair.

"Tired?" You asked.

He mumbled against your neck as he covered the two of you with a sheet.

"More than I ever thought."

"I hope it's a good thing."

He looked up at you with a sheepish smile, "It's the best."

And you grinned.

He takes a moment to look at you and then he said, "I can't believe it finally happened."

You chuckled, "you're saying it as if you've loved me longer than I have."

Even if it was a mockery he pretended to be hurt, "How can you compare my love to anything?"

You laugh, genuinely laugh at his words.

And then he climbed up so he could pull you closer to him.

"Missed your laugh."

You bit your lip and swept away his hair from his forehead, "I missed you making me laugh."

Overwhelmed, he kissed your nose, "never again."

"never what?"

"never am I ever going to leave you alone. You're mine now."

You gazed into his eyes and smiled, "yours?"

He nodded.

You let your fingers intervene with his, playing with them and said, "I've been yours for a long time now."

His expressions suddenly grew sadder, "was it painful?"

"What was?"

"loving me without ever knowing I'll love you back."

You pursed your lips then shook your head, "it doesn't matter anymore."

After a long silence he spoke up again, "It doesn't. I'm going to make sure to tell you just how much I love you to make up for all the lost time."

You smiled at him and kissed his forehead, "you have a lot of making up to do then."

As if you had destroyed a romantic moment, he rolled his eyes, "How long have you even loved me for?"

You brought your hand up and started counting on your fingers. When it exceeds ten fingers he closed your hands in his own.

"My fault, I asked." And you laughed against him.

"What about you? When did you know you loved me?" You asked.

He thought for a moment and said, "I think I loved you too long to know when it started but I only realized on the day I was leaving for the military."

"Millitary?"

He nodded, "when I saw you holding back your tears, I just wanted to hold you so badly that I knew it wasn't friendship. It was love."

"You had almost 2 years to tell me you loved me and you didn't." You were offended.

He raised his eyebrows at you, in fact he raised up physically, "like you're one to talk- let me remind you how long you waited before telling me.."

The rest of the night you stayed up talking and laughing. It didn't seem like there was enough time, like you had to talk about everything in one night but this is how you've always felt. This is how he has felt for a long time now.

And then you realized, love wasn't supposed to be loud, cliche, grand or anything, love felt like coming home.

And you had found a home in his arms. For the rest of the time.

Extra 1.

As you chewed down on your waffle he made for you sitting on the kitchen top in his clothes, it randomly occurred to you that you hadn't asked Jin one question.

"Why were you at the club last night?"

He frowned then gave you another waffle, "Hoseok asked me to. He knew I was pent up after our fight and how I felt about you so he said it would be a good way to blow off steam. In my opinion it was a trashy idea but I don't regret it anymore."

You let out a loud laugh, clutching at your stomach as you kept laughing at the realisation.

"what- what's so funny?"

You threw your head back, wiping away the tears at the corner of your eyes.

You opened your arms in a hug and asked him to come closer which he happily did. Your hands cupped his face as you gave him a peck.

"We're such idiots." You told him, still finding it funny.

"I'm sure you're right but why?" He was so confused that he wondered if his girlfriend (now) was ever going to tell him what was so funny.

"Hoseok totally set us up." And then you tell him the whole thing.

Hoseok was a mastermind in bringing you two together and you couldn't be more glad that you both had heard him.

Extra 2.

"Isn't that the dress you wore on the anniversary?" Hoseok asked as he saw it hanging over your wardrobe.

You peeped inside the bedroom and nodded, "my one and only black dress."

Hoseok smiled to himself as you walked into the kitchen. He had a plan in his mind and he definitely wasn't going to tell you that but when the day comes, you'll be praising him for his plan. And then he'll be ready for all the praises.

¹Appa: Father in Korean

A/n: certain edits are underway.

Taglist: @jinkoo94 @c3hu @jiniretexe @withmuchluv-tannie (genuinely thankyou for all the people who requested for the tags, I so so adore y'all)

[wildchildtale]

𝓒𝓻𝓾𝓮𝓵 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮 | 𝓚𝓢𝓙 (𝐼)

Pairing: Kim Seokjin X Reader

Genre: enemies to lovers; angst; smut; obsession; power imbalance; socioeconomic gap; toxic seokjin; hurt/comfort; bully seokjin; dark romance; billionaire au

Summary: They call him Saint. He’s anything but. A monster hidden behind charm, wealth, and a perfect reputation. Seokjin Saint Kim is ruthless, obsessive, and far more cruel than anyone realises. The only thing standing between him and what he wants is…you. Too bad he’s not willing to let that stop him.

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: manipulation, obsession; emotional abuse, psychological abuse, slight dub con; coercion, threats, violence, blood/injury, power imbalance, strong language, alcohol use, smoking.

Chapter-specific warnings will be added at the beginning of each chapter.

a/n: sooooooo before y’all start reading, i need y’all to know that this is probably my personal favourite ksj fic i’ve worked on so far. mostly because it’s inspired by a book i was obsessed with when i was 15 (for the life of me, i cannot remember the name anymore 😭). chapter 2 will lean more into seokjin’s POV and his family background, which is going to be really important for the plot moving forward. also, a small warning: this seokjin is NOT a nice person, so things are going to go very, very south in the next couple of chapter. but hey!!!!! there will be a redemption arc…eventually 👀 as always, i’d love to hear what you think, so please leave comments!!

The moans only seemed to grow louder with every passing second, muffled by the heavy oak door but unmistakable all the same. Heat creeps up your neck as you hesitate outside his bedroom door.

For heaven’s sake.

You really did not want to do this, but there was no other choice. Tomorrow’s mathematics exam wasn’t going to pass itself.

Taking a deep breath, you knock again before pushing the door open, just enough to slip your head through, your eyes squeezing shut the moment it moves.

“I’ll leave immediately if you give me my mathematics book back right now. And I’m not taking no for an answer, I won’t be going anywhere until you give it back,” you blurt in one breath.

You hear rustling from somewhere inside the room before his voice rang out, low and languid, “Be my guest then, sweetheart.”

Your eye twitches at his audacity.

You were a second away from marching over there and dragging him off the bed by his hair when the moans resumed, louder than before and even more obscene. You close your eyes even tighter and silently curse whatever higher power that had decided this was to be your morning.

Your shoulders slump as a realization settles over you. There was only one thing that ever worked on that sadistic bastard.

Begging.

“Seokjin, please,” you say, hating every second of it. “I have an exam tomorrow. I really, really need that book. Please just give it back.”

For what felt like an eternity, there was no answer. Your stomach sinks at the thought of failing before his lazy voice finally cuts through the room.

“It’s in the bag on the couch.”

Relief floods you.

“But you’ll have to open your eyes for that, little Prefect.”

You grit your teeth. You hated that nickname.

Being the school prefect was something you’d worked hard for, yet somehow Seokjin always managed to turn it into an insult.

Taking a cautious breath, you crack one eye open.

Your gaze lands on him first, stark naked and shameless as ever. He doesn’t even bother covering himself, only leans back against the headboard. And then, against your better judgment, drifts to the girl straddling his lap.

Scarlett, the most popular girl in school—and, more importantly, your bully—was sprawled on top of your other bully, her skirt bunched around her thighs and tits out.

“Well?” he drawls, one brow raised. Your eyes meet for a brief second before his lips curl into that infuriating, knowing smirk he always wore whenever he managed to fluster you.

You realise you’d been staring.

Your face burns. You tear your eyes away and bolt for the couch, digging frantically through the upturned bag until your fingers close around your battered mathematics book.

You hug it tightly against your chest before making a beeline for the door.

Only once you’re safely outside do you remember how to breathe.

“Shut the door on your way out, Help,” comes his voice from inside, followed by Scarlett’s giggles.

You bite the inside of your cheek, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. You quietly close the door behind you, despite wanting nothing more than to slam it in his face.

You sigh as you tear yet another sticker off your locker and shove it into the nearest bin. Across the hallway, Scarlett and her friends exchange amused looks before dissolving into quiet laughter, but you don’t pay them any mind. You’re used to this. You slip your books into your locker as Wren, your best friend, talks your ear off about the biggest party of the year happening tonight.

“You know,” Wren says, “I still think you should come tonight.”

“The answer’s still no,” you reply, shutting your locker.

“Oh, come on,” she groans, looping her arm through yours as the two of you start walking towards the exit. “Nate’s going to be there.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you suggestively.

“Wren!” you hiss, nudging her arm. “Keep your voice down.”

You’d only recently started seeing Nate. Three dates so far, and one kiss that had left you smiling for days afterwards. You really liked him. Like, really liked him. Which was exactly why you wanted to keep things quiet until you were sure he felt the same way.

And from the way he’d asked you out on another date just yesterday, you were starting to think he did.

The only problem was his bestfriend.

Seokjin Saint Kim.

But for once, you didn’t care. You were really, really happy.

As you neared the parking lot, Hana caught your eye from where she stood with her boyfriend, Dean, and the rest of their friends. She shot you the same murderous glare she always did. Usually, it would’ve been enough to sour your mood.

Not today though. Your last exam was finally over. Another semester was over, which meant you were another step closer to graduating, leaving Blackwood behind, and never having to see him again.

You couldn’t wait for your school years to be over and college to finally begin. Couldn’t wait to leave this place behind; to finally be free from the hell that was Seokjin.

You’d known him since you were nine. Well, known was a generous word. Bullied by Seokjin since you were nine was probably more accurate.

Back then, the two of you had been about the same height, but that was where the similarities ended. You were the daughter of the head maid at the Kim estate, while he was the only son of the man who owned it.

Everyone in Blackwood knew better than to cross the Kims. They were one of California’s oldest and wealthiest families. Their name was on hospitals, museums, galleries, and university buildings, their businesses spanning everything from luxury hotels to commercial real estate. The Kims practically owned the town. Everyone either worked for the Kims, worked with the Kims, or wanted something from them.

When your parents lost your home trying to pay for your little sister’s treatment, the Kims offered your family a place in the estate’s staff quarters. Your mother and father couldn’t have been more grateful, insisting the apartment was much nicer than your old, run-down house.

They weren’t wrong, the apartment was bigger, warmer and nicer than anything you’d ever lived in.

What they’d failed to mention was that it came with Seokjin Saint Kim.

You met him the very day you moved in.

While your parents were busy unpacking boxes and thanking anyone in a uniform, you’d wandered into the gardens with your favourite storybook tucked under your arm, determined to explore what looked more like a palace than a home. You’d barely made it past the fountain before a football came hurtling towards your head.

It missed by inches.

You’d turned around, expecting an apology.

Instead, you found a boy about your age watching you with the most bored and detached expression you’d ever seen.

“Move.”

That had been the first word he had ever said to you.

It certainly wasn’t the last.

In the years that followed, making your life miserable had become his favourite pastime. He hid your homework, snapped your glasses in half, told the other children you smelled funny, and scared off every boy you’d ever shown the slightest interest in.

You still remember how the first boy you’d ever liked stopped talking to you after Seokjin told him you still wet the bed. The second one was told you had lice.

After a while, the attempts stopped altogether and no one approached you anymore.

You learned very quickly that Seokjin—or Saint, as he liked to be called by everyone but you for some stupid reason—always got what he wanted. The teachers adored him, the students feared him, and the school practically bent over backwards to keep him happy. Complaining only ever earned you a sympathetic smile before someone quietly suggested you try not to provoke him next time.

Even as a child, Seokjin carried himself with the cruel arrogance of someone who had never once been told no, and he’d made it his personal mission to remind you exactly where you stood.

When you were offered a scholarship to St. Augustine’s, the most prestigious school in the city, through the Kim Foundation, you’d been over the moon. Their foundation funded well beyond just the scholarship programme, half the buildings on campus bore their name, and the board of trustees practically treated Mr. Kim like he owned the school, which, well, he kind of did.

You knew Seokjin went there too, but you’d hoped school would be different. That he’d be too busy with his own friends to pay you any mind.

You couldn’t have been more wrong.

If anything, having you within arm’s reach every day only seemed to make tormenting you easier.

What’s more, St. Augustine’s wasn’t exactly welcoming if you weren’t born into old money—let alone if you had none. The few friends you managed to make disappeared as quickly as they’d come once they found out you were the head maid’s daughter and attended on a scholarship. It also didn’t help that everyone knew better than to get caught in Saint’s crosshairs.

You still had one close friend, Wren, and that was enough.

Your younger sister, Bella, on the other hand, never seemed to have the same problem. Despite coming from the exact same background, she’d always been a social butterfly, effortlessly making friends wherever she went. You were happy for he, truly, but you couldn’t deny the small pang of envy whenever another birthday invitation or sleepover found its way into her hands while you stayed home.

Today was one of those days.

Every year, once final exams were over, Seokjin threw the biggest party of the year at the Kim estate. Half the school spent weeks talking about it, and the other half spent weeks trying to get an invitation.

Of course, you weren’t invited. Not that you’d ever go even if you were.

You preferred to keep as much distance between yourself and that wicked bastard as possible.

“Mmm, stop,” Nate mumbles, but you only continue peppering kisses all over his face.

“Baby,” he whines.

Another kiss.

“Please.”

Another kiss.

“Babyyyy.”

You giggle, refusing to let up.

“Comewithme,” Nate blurts out in one breath.

“Mmm, but I like it here,” you murmur, staying right where you are as he tugs you closer. A smile spreads across your face as you run your fingers through his soft blond hair.

“OK, fine,” he finally relents. “I do have to go, though.” He pouts dramatically, making you laugh as you give him a light shove.

“It’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

You look at him through your lashes, and he groans. He cups your cheeks in his hands before planting a flurry of exaggerated kisses all over your face.

“Nate!” you squeal between giggles, trying and failing to push him away.

The two of you stay like that for another ten minutes before you finally manage to physically shove him out the door.

After Nate leaves, you return to the canvas you’d abandoned on your bedroom’s floor. Painting had always been your thing. Long before mathematics and scholarships and trying to survive St. Augustine’s, there had been paint-stained hands and sketchbooks filled to the last page. If everything went according to plan, there’d be a lot more of that next year. You’d already started putting together your portfolio, spending every spare minute painting in the hopes of getting into one of the art schools you’d been dreaming about since you were little.

You barely notice the time slipping by until your phone starts buzzing somewhere nearby.

You reach for it, only to realise it’s not the one ringing.

Frowning, you follow the sound instead, eventually fishing Nate’s phone out from between the couch cushions.

He must have forgotten it.

The screen was locked, but the notifications were still visible. Four missed calls from Mom. You glance at the time. If she’d called him that many times, it was probably important.

With a sigh, you grab your keys. You’d just run over to the Kim estate, hand Nate his phone, and leave. Five minutes, max. There’s no way Seokjin would know you were there.

Besides, he never showed up until hours after his own parties started.

Seokjin sinks further into the leather couch, one arm draped lazily over the backrest as the girl on his lap chatters on about something he stopped listening to five minutes ago. Whatever he’d taken earlier had taken the edge off just enough to make everyone in the room seem twice as loud.

Across the den, Jimin and Dean are bent over the glass coffee table, far too occupied with their own business to care about anyone else’s. Jungkook is making out with a blonde who, if Seokjin remembered correctly, had been hanging off his own arm not even ten minutes ago. Typical.

Yoongi sits in the armchair by the fireplace, nursing a drink and looking as miserable as ever.

Nate, however, is nowhere to be seen.

“He’s still not here?” Jimin asks, finally looking up.

Yoongi lets out a quiet scoff. “Would you believe me if I told you he’s been seeing the same girl for the past few weeks?”

Jungkook pulls away from the blonde just enough to frown. “Wait… the same girl?”

That catches his attention.

Seokjin’s gaze shifts towards the doorway before he looks down at the brunette sitting on his lap.

“Get off.”

She looks up at him, confused. “Mm, but we were just getting started.”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

She rolls her eyes, throwing a few expletives his way as she gets off and moves towards the bar.

“The same girl.” Nate calls from behind, making his way over before taking the seat beside Yoongi.

“Oh?” Dean grins. “Is the great Nate Parker finally back in the game?”

“It’s different this time,” Nate says simply.

Seokjin studies Nate over the rim of his glass before taking another slow sip of his scotch. Nate had never been one for relationships. Hell, none of them were. Which made this rather interesting. If Nate was serious about whoever this girl is, things were about to get a whole lot more entertaining.

A flash of bright pink by the doorway catches his attention. It stands out immediately against the sea of black suits and little black dresses. His eyes follow it on instinct, and his jaw tightens the second he realizes who’s wearing it.

What the fuck were you doing here?

Before he can make sense of it, you’re already making your way towards where they’re sitting, looking painfully out of place in your bright pink sweater and worn-out jeans.

“Nate?”

Surprise flashes across Nate’s face, but he’s on his feet the second he sees you, walking over to where you’re standing, a grin already spreading across his face that Seokjin suddenly has the overwhelming urge to wipe clean.

Your attention stays on Nate, your face turned towards Seokjin’s back as he watches you and Nate through the floor-to-ceiling mirror.

“Babe?” Nate asks, stopping in front of you.

Seokjin stills.

Babe? Since when the fuck were you and Nate calling each other babe?

Your reply is cut short when Seokjin speaks.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?”

Your face pales the moment you see him, like you’ve seen a ghost.

“I—” you stutter, completely caught off guard.

“I invited her,” Nate cuts in.

Seokjin’s turns around, and whatever little patience he had left disappears. His hand tightens around the glass before he sets it down, slowly, because the alternative is putting it through Nate’s face.

He stands and takes a step forward until he’s face to face with Nate, towering over him, something dangerous flashing across his face.

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

The smile is gone from Nate’s face now, but he doesn’t back down.

His stare stays fixed on Nate, the silence stretches between them until Nate finally looks away.

Then, without saying another word, he reaches for your hand and leads you towards the exit.

“Come on, let’s leave.”

Seokjin doesn’t stop him. Because he knows if he does, this will end with Nate on the floor and his own knuckles split open.

“So that’s the girl?” Dean muses, breaking the silence. “Who knew Saint’s little pet had been keeping secrets?”

Seokjin’s shoots him a glare.

Dean’s smile only widens, his reaction only makes it all the more amusing.

Seokjin catches Jimin looking at him, a cocky smile on his face as he answers.

“Guess so.”

He doesn’t respond.

Instead, reaches for the rolled bill on the table instead, taking his time before leaning back into the couch. The room blurs at the edges as the noise around him fades into the background.

“Let’s get the party started.”

They make their way through the main hall and out into the courtyard, the crowd parting almost immediately as they pass. Cheers erupt from every direction, whistles cutting through the music as people hurry outside, already forming a loose circle around the open space.

Everyone knows what comes next.

The fight.

It was simply tradition. No rules or referee. The fight ended only when one of the players admitted defeat, or couldn’t get back up. Phones come out, bets are placed, and the crowd grows restless, waiting for someone to throw the first punch.

Seokjin steps into the middle.

The cheers get louder.

“Who’s first?”

It doesn’t take long.

A guy from the crowd steps forward, probably thinking this is his chance to impress everyone. Seokjin sizes him up once and already knows how this is going to end.

He throws the first punch.

It lands square across Seokjin’s jaw.

He rolls his jaw once, spits a mouthful of blood onto the stone, and smiles.

“My turn.”

The guy is slow, telegraphing every move before he makes it. Seokjin slips past another swing, drives his fist into his ribs, then catches him across the jaw hard enough to send him stumbling backwards. By the time the other guy manages to steady himself, Seokjin has already closed the distance again.

It isn’t much of a fight. He barely lasts three minutes.

A few punches later, the guy is flat on his back, coughing through a mouthful of blood while his friends rush to drag him away.

The cheers are deafening.

Saint! Saint! Saint!

It rolls through the crowd like a mantra, swallowing the music whole.

Seokjin rolls his shoulders, unimpressed.

The metallic taste of blood is already dulling in his mouth.

Shame.

He was just starting to feel it. A split lip and a sore jaw weren’t nearly enough to satisfy the restless itch that had settled under his skin.

“Next.”

This time, a heavily tattooed guy built like a linebacker steps into the circle.

Seokjin smirks. This is going to be so fun.

Nearly half an hour later, Seokjin stands over him, breathing hard.

Blood drips from the corner of his mouth, another cut split across his brow while his knuckles are raw enough to sting every time he flexes them. The other guy isn’t much better, flat on his back beneath him, gasping for air after Seokjin’s forearm had been pressed against his throat for the better part of a minute before someone finally pulled them apart.

This one had been better.

He’d actually managed to land a few hits. Enough to leave Seokjin’s ribs aching and his head throbbing, enough for the taste of blood to linger at the back of his throat.

Seokjin steps out of the centre as the crowd slowly breaks apart, the noise fading into the background as he makes his way back towards the others.

He drops onto the couch beside them, accepting the drink Jimin holds out without a word.

Seokjin takes a drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke fill his lungs as the noise of the party settles back around them.

Jimin lifts his drink, eyes following the guy being dragged away from the centre.

“He’ll be in the hospital by morning.”

Yoongi shrugs. “Should’ve known better.”

Jungkook cuts in, his hair a mess and the skin of his neck still blotchy, leaving little doubt about where he’d been.

“That one lasted longer than the others,” he says, approvingly.

“Twenty-eight minutes,” Jimin says, checking the time on his phone.

Dean whistles. “New record?”

Seokjin scoffs, leaning back as he rolls his bruised knuckles.

“Hardly.”

The rush was already wearing off.

For a few minutes, Seokjin had forgotten everything else. The adrenaline, the noise, the ache in his body—it all drowned everything else out.

But when the pain starts to fade, so does the distraction.

Just like always, it never lasts. He can feel the same restless feeling crawling back under his skin, ten times worse than before.

This time, he knows what he needs to do though.

Sleep refuses to come. You’ve been tossing and turning in bed for what feels like hours, your mind stuck replaying everything that happened tonight.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop thinking about the look on Seokjin’s face.

Nate had insisted it was nothing. That Seokjin was just being him.

But you knew him better than that. You knew he was angry.

What you didn’t understand was why.

You showing up at his party uninvited couldn’t possibly be enough to set him off like that. Could it?

The thought is interrupted by a sudden thud near your window.

You freeze.

It’s too dark to make out anything. Your hand reaches blindly for your phone on the bedside table, switching on the flashlight as you slowly climb out of bed.

The light barely moves before you come face to face with someone standing in the dark.

Seokjin.

A scream catches in your throat, but before it can escape, his hand covers your mouth.

“Don’t make a fucking sound,” he says, his voice low and sharp.

Your eyes widen as you stare at him, your heartbeat pounding so loudly you are sure he can hear it too.

“Or do. I really don’t care.”

He removes his hand, and you immediately step back, trying to get your breathing under control.

“W-What the hell are you doing here?”

Seokjin doesn’t answer. Instead, he steps closer.

He follows you without a word, each step forcing you back until your legs hit the edge of the bed. There’s something unnerving and predatory about the way he looks at you, you find yourself looking away.

From where you stand, you’re barely level with his chest, forced to tilt your head up to look up at him when he finally speak.

“You’re going to fucking listen to me,” he says, his voice hoarse. “And you’re going to do exactly what I say.”

You swallow, unable to look away.

“Tomorrow, you’re leaving Blackwood.”

Your brows pull together. “What?”

“I don’t care where you go.” His expression doesn’t change. “Go back to wherever you came from. Find somewhere else. You’re leaving Blackwood, and you’re not coming back here.”

He takes another step closer until there’s barely any space left between you, and you can smell the faint traces of scotch and smoke on his breath, making your stomach twist.

“But your days here are over.”

Your mouth parts, but he cuts you off before you can speak.

“And you’re going to break up with Nate. You’ll tell him it’s over, and you’ll make sure he understands.”

You close your eyes and breathe through your nose, unable to believe what you just heard.

“No. I’m not going to do any of that,” you finally speak.

Bis hand moves before you can react, fingers catching your jaw and forcing you to look at him.

“Careful,” he laughs, though there’s no humour in it.

“You really don’t understand your position here, do you, princess? Don’t fucking push me when I’m being generous.”

Your eyes burn, tears threatening to spill, as you glare at him.

His smiles widens when he notices.

“You have two choices, princess,” he continues. “You walk away when I’m asking you nicely, or you find out what happens when I stop asking.”

For a moment, you just zone out, praying for some sign that he doesn’t actually mean it. That this is just another cruel game he’s playing.

But Seokjin doesn’t take it back.

“Or should we leave poor little Bella to suffer?” he continues. “Her treatment stops because her sister was too stubborn to do what she was told?” He tsks softly.

Your eyes snap back to him.

“Aw there she is.” His thumb brushes against your lips, mockingly gentle.

“That would be a shame,” he muses thoughtfully, “Bella shouldn’t have to pay for your mistakes.”

Your stomach drops at the mention of her name.

“Especially when she tastes as sweet as she looks.”

The words barely leave his mouth before your hand moves. Your palm meets his face, the sound of the slap echoing through the room.

Seokjin’s head turns with the force of it, his smile disappearing as silence settles between you.

A few moments pass.

Then slowly, his eyes return to yours, and the look in them makes your breath catch.

Whatever restraint he had left is gone. His hand closes around you, and before you can react, he roughly pushes you back onto the bed with him on top of you. The sudden shift leaves you frozen, his presence overwhelming as he towers over you, the room suddenly feeling far too small.

You don’t think. You react.

Your hand moves again, anger taking over the fear, but he catches your wrist before you can reach him. You struggle against his grip, trying to pull free, but he holds on, forcing your hands above your head as you glare up at him.

His breath comes in uneven pants, the only sound filling the room as his grip tightens. His mouth is a straight line as he pins you down with both his weight and his gaze. You can feel more than see his chest rise and fall.

“Let go of me,” you choke out.

His jaw clenches, and you notice the way his eyes drop to your lips.

Suddenly feeling your mouth go dry, you wet your lips with your tongue, Seokjin follows the movement. When you look back at him, his eyes remain fixed on your lips.

A heartbeat later, his lips crashes against yours. Every muscle in your body tense instinctively. You stop breathing for a second.

And then you’re fighting him again, pushing against his shoulders with all your strength, but he doesn’t budge. His lips move possessively against yours. Consumed by your anger and something else you’d rather die than acknowledge, you bite down on his lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

“Fuck.”

Seokjin groans and pushes you further into the mattress. You gasp at the metallic taste of blood filling your mouth, and Seokjin takes that chance to push his tongue further down your throat.

His grip loosens for just a second, and you take the chance, your hands moving to his hair as you pull harshly at the strands.

Every instinct tells you to move, but you don’t. You should push him away. You know you should. Instead, you find yourself kissing him back just as fiercely, every bit of anger, hatred, and frustration spilling into it.

Your teeth clash against each other, tongues fighting for dominance, the kiss anything but gentle. It’s nothing like your first kiss with him — the first kiss you’d ever had — which had been soft and rather awkward. Then again, it made sense. You were barely twelve.

Seokjin grinds down on you and you can’t help the whimper that escapes your lips when you feel his bulge against your stomach. You arch into him as Seokjin moves his mouth to your jaw, leaving bruises along the expanse of your neck. His hands are all over your body, and your mind grows dizzy from the overwhelming sensation.

“I hate you, Seokjin” the words spill out before you can stop them.

He pauses. The words seem to snap something back into place for him.

Your vision blurs and before you know it the tears you’d been fighting finally spill over.

A moment later, he pulls away and stands, his expression unreadable again as if he just simply shut everything off.

“Remember,” he says, his voice hoarse and final as he walks toward the window, “Tomorrow morning.”

“I hate you,” you say again, your voice breaking. “I hope you rot in hell.”

“Baby,” he says lowly, stepping onto the ledge, “I’m already there.”

[mikrokkosmos7]

Light in the darkness

Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 12.8k

AU: Homeless Jin x Teacher reader, romance, falling in love, angst with a happy ending, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, explicit sexual content (minors dni!!!)

Warnings: Discussions of past child abuse (I wasn’t planning on making it this heavy) but the ending is so happy!!

Summary: Heading to a new cafe in a different part of leads to a chance encounter with a kind homeless man. What happens when he gets sick and needs somewhere warm to stay?

The air was always cold during the winter time, but for Seokjin, it seemed like with each year that passed, it got colder. All he could do was be grateful that it rarely ever snowed here. Sometimes, when he could see his breath fan out in front of him, the feeling of ice prickling his skin; he knew that if a storm were to come, he wouldn’t make it through. Not too mention, he was pretty sure he had already caught pneumonia from freezing half to death.

The only thing that helped was the thick, heavy blanket a woman had given him months ago. He swore up and down that she was some kind of angel, because no one in his entire existence had ever been that kind. He would be the first one to tell anyone that. Growing up being tossed from foster home to home would do that to you. He was just happy that Taehyung didn’t have to go through what he endured. His younger brother found a good home before all of that.

It wasn’t supposed to be that way. The two of them weren’t supposed to be separated, but when a good family came along; only able to adopt one child, he made sure it was Tae. He needed his little brother to have a good home. That came first. He would wait for his turn.

As it turned out, his turn never came. Most good families didn’t want the older kid. There was one home he got placed in that was decent. By decent, he meant that they never beat him up like his previous home had. Seokjin never once asked for anyone to love him. Just having a safe home had been enough for him.

It didn’t last long, though. That family wasn’t able to make rent, and he was sent right back from where he started. As he got closer and closer to turning eighteen, the less he wanted to get put in more homes. He was better off in the system rather than having to get his hopes up with a new family again.

The last home they placed him in at sixteen years old all the way up until the day he turned eighteen was bad. He was taken in by a couple who enjoyed fostering a bunch of kids only to abuse them. He didn’t have it the worst in that house. Instead, it was the younger kids. They were small, and defenseless compared to Seokjin. That foster home was part of the reason he was homeless today, because nobody wanted to hire him.

He fell behind in school and wasn’t able to graduate, because instead of finishing homework, or studying for important tests, he was busy trying to protect the little kids from their foster parents. A lot of times it ended up in physical alterations between him and them, but it was better that way. He would take it so the younger ones wouldn’t have to as much. The unfortunate thing about people who had connections and a lot of money; it usually meant they got away with it. Which was why Seokjin had gotten labeled as the troubled kid with a temper. He got in trouble for the fights, not the abusive foster parents. They reported him, but he somehow got lucky enough to get an ankle monitor and community service.

No one would give him a chance for work after that, and he tried, countless of times with no luck, never giving up on trying to find something. The one good thing that came out of that whole situation was that those people finally got investigated and found out, and in result, they were no longer able to foster anymore kids.

So no, Seokjin really wasn’t used to kindness from anyone, but that didn’t mean he would ever stop being kind. There was an older homeless man down the street who seemed to be suffering from the biting air. He hadn’t seen the older man before; it usually only being him in this area. It looked like the elderly man might have dementia, but what made him sad was that he had no blanket, not even a coat to keep him warm.

He looked at his own blanket that the kind woman had given to him sitting over his own lap with a frown. As grateful as he was for her giving it to him, he felt that the old man deserved it way more than he did, so he got up, dragging the thick blanket with him to where the other man was laying before placing it over him. The instant change in him once he was covered up made Seokjin smile, a rare thing. Whatever happened now, he knew that helping the elderly was worth it.

____ ____ ____ ____ ____

When you decided to head to the new cafe with amazing coffee that one of your coworkers, who happens to live near that area, told you about; you promised yourself to check on the kind homeless man on the way back and make sure he was doing okay. You checked on him every weekend ever since you found out about that cafe and had noticed that he looked entirely too skinny the first time you saw him. You always made sure to get him a full meal every weekend, and gave him gift cards for fast food near that area to last him for the rest of the week.

It was freezing this morning, and you wrapped your coat tighter around yourself, shivering until you made it into the heated cafe. You were so glad that you had given the man a warm blanket before now. You ordered your usual coffee and some breakfast for him while you chatted on the phone with your best friend.

“What are you up to anyway, Teach?” Jungkook, head chef and owner of your favorite restaurant asked.

“I’m at that new cafe Hobi told me about. I wanted to check in on that homeless man and see if he’s doing okay.” You responded, sitting in one of the chairs as you waited for the food to be ready.

“You have a big heart, Y/n. I know I’ve told you that before, but you really do.” Your best friend told you.

“It’s common human decency, JK.”

“Well, yeah, of course, but you go above and beyond. Not everyone does what you do.” He insisted, his tone daring you to challenge him.

“Well- Oh! The food is ready, Kook. I’ll give you a call later. Maybe we can hop online and game for a bit?” You suggested.

“Say less!” Jungkook exclaimed excitedly. “Also good luck. I hope that guy is doing okay.”

“I hope so too.” You smiled before throwing your phone back in your purse.

When you parked near the grass, you noticed the blanket that you had given the man was gone. In place, was him laying there in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants.

As you got out of your vehicle to approach him, you noticed his skin was very pale, and he was shivering uncontrollably, his entire body shaking.

“Hey, hey…” You wished you had gotten his name. “Can you hear me?”

The man turned his head to you, blinking his eyes rapidly to clear his vision. “I-So c-cold.”

“Is it okay if I touch your arm?” You asked softly, and he nodded.

You gently reached for his wrist to press your thumb against his pulse. His heart was racing. He must have the beginning stages of hypothermia. He couldn’t stay out here like this. It would just get worse.

“Can you walk?” You stood back up, holding a hand out for him.

“I feel n-numb.” He responded, but he did reach for your hand, letting you pull him up off the ground.

“It’s okay, you can lean on me.” You rested an arm around his back for support, letting him lean on you as you guided him to your car. You turned the heater on low as you made your way back home.

You moved into this house pretty recently, so it was lucky that you had the spare bedroom ready.

“I’ll go grab some extra blankets for you.” You finally spoke when you guided him to the room.

You frowned when he hesitated. He was still shivering, but not as bad as before. “I don’t want to dirty your clean bed.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Sheets can be washed. I just want you to get warmed up.” You gave him a reassuring look.

Once he got in the bed, you grabbed the extra blankets and piled them on top of him over the comforter. “Thank you… You didn’t have to do this.”

“It’s no problem. Oh, wait, let me grab you some warm tea to drink. That should help out too.” You gave him a small smile before heading into your kitchen to warm up a cup before bringing it back to him.

That, along with the warm blankets did seem to start helping, and you were relieved.

“Thank you again, really.” He whispered.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad I was able to help.” You responded before turning off the light and leaving him to get some rest.

In the meantime, you got some stuff done around your house that needed to be done, and sent of a text to Jungkook, asking if he could drop off a few extra pairs of clothes he didn’t really wear anymore whenever he had time.

An hour later, there was a knock at your door.

“So, you gonna tell me what these clothes are for?” Was how your best friend greeted you when you opened the door.

You scratched the back of your neck, knowing you were about to get a lecture about inviting a man inside your home that you barely knew. “Well, the guy on the streets that I’ve been checking on the past couple months… He’s here right now resting.”

“Y/n! Are you- What if he is dangerous?” Your best friend’s eyes were bugging out of his head.

“He’s harmless-“

“Oh, so you know him that well?” Jungkook raised his eyebrows.

“Well, no, but… I couldn’t just leave him there. He was starting to get hypothermia, and it would have gotten worse. He must have given his blanket to someone else because he didn’t have it anymore and all he had on was a t-shirt.” You defended.

“Oh shit, really?” He finally relaxed, setting the box of clothes on your table. “How is he now?”

“Better. I gave him some warm tea and a whole bunch of blankets.”

“Good. Well, I actually gotta head down to the restaurant really quick. They need my help with something, but um- Are you gonna be okay?” His tone was concerned, like he wasn’t sure if he should leave you here alone or not.

“I’ll be okay, Kook. I know I don’t know this man well, but I promise you, I don’t get any bad vibes off of him. My gut is telling me that he’s harmless. He’s been nothing but gentle every time I’ve seen him.” You said confidently.

“Alright, I don’t know the guy, but I’m trusting you here. Call me if you need anything.”

You promised him that you would.

You checked on the man quite a few times to make sure he was still okay. He slept peacefully, all through the day, and all through the night. He must have really needed the rest to sleep that long. It worried you a little bit, but each time you went into the room, he seemed okay. His breathing was even, and he was no longer pale, no longer shivering.

You were in the middle of cooking some breakfast when the man entered the kitchen, his eyes sleepy and hair ruffled from a good rest. A nice shower would probably make him feel a lot better. He didn’t stink or anything, which meant, even being homeless; he must have taken care and cleaned himself as often as he was able to. His hair was long and falling over his eyes, a slight beard growing from not being able to shave his face. He was still way too skinny.

“Hey good morning. You really needed sleep.” You chuckled, flipping over some scrambled eggs in the pan.

The man’s entire face turned red, like he was embarrassed. “I - Yeah- Sorry. I didn’t mean to overstay my welcome. I’ll get out of your hair. I really do appreciate your generosity.”

You waved him off, gesturing to a chair at the counter. “Nonsense. Sit. I made some breakfast for you. You’re welcome to use the shower as well afterwards, I’m sure it will feel nice.” You passed him a plate of pancakes and eggs, and that was definitely the sound of his stomach growling, you could tell.

He didn’t get to eat anything yesterday due to what happened, so he was probably starving.

“Thank you…” He mumbled quietly, taking small bites of his food. “It tastes delicious.”

You beamed, eating a plate of your own. “You think so? I try my best.”

He nodded in response, and while he wasn’t smiling with his lips, he was with his eyes. “I used to enjoy cooking as a teenager. I would-“ He cut himself off, shaking his head with a frown.

You didn’t press. It must not have been an easy thing to talk about for him. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.”

He gave you a grateful look as he finished up his food. He ate every single bite of it. You were glad he enjoyed it, but you were even more so just to see him put something in his stomach.

You showed him to the bathroom after cleaning up, because he insisted on helping you out, saying it was the least he could do after everything you’ve done for him. You really didn’t think you did anything truly exceptional. What you did was the right, humane thing to do in your eyes. Sure, not everyone would have brought a homeless person into their own home, but for you, it was barely even a thought. You just acted. He was safe, and alive. That was all that mattered.

“Um, do you have a razor by any chance?” He asked, pointing to his face in his emphasis. He seemed hopeful. He must have preferred a clean shaved face.

“Top left drawer. There’s a spare toothbrush in there as well. You can take it.” You reassured, handing him a pair of grey sweats, boxers, and a black t-shirt, along with a towel and cloth. “My best friend brought these by. They’re all clean.”

He took everything from you, and all of a sudden, it looked as if he was trying to hold back tears. It made your chest clench thinking he may not have ever experienced any kindness in his life. He thanked you again before you shut the bathroom door.

You changed the sheets in the spare bedroom with some fresh ones for him before throwing the other set in the washing machine. You couldn’t let him go back out there like that after what just happened. The thought didn’t settle right with your stomach. You would give him a warm place to sleep until you could get something else figured out for him. It was the least you could do.

You found yourself lost in thought when he came out to find you sitting in the living room on the couch. What had happened to him? How did he end up like this? He seemed like such a gentle soul. There were so many questions running through your brain, and each and every one of them would be too personal to ask. If he wanted to talk about it, he would.

“I know I said it already many times, but thank you again… You have no idea what you’ve done for me, truly.” His voice startled you out of your thoughts, and as you looked up at him, you were slightly taken aback because, he was beautiful. It was something you hadn’t paid attention to before, but now it was something that you couldn’t help but notice.

He was dressed in the clothes from Jungkook, and his face was freshly shaved, which made him look younger, his hair slightly wet as it fell into his eyes. You blinked before clearing your throat. “It’s no problem, um- I realized I don’t know your name.”

He looked surprised that you cared to know, shuffling around on his feet like he didn’t know what to do with himself, his dirty clothes foldy neatly in his arms.

“It’s Seokjin.” He spoke quietly.

“Seokjin.” You repeated with a smile before telling him your own name, and just as he was about to respond, he wavered on his feet, almost losing his balance.

“Woah, are you alright?” You got up off the couch to steady him, resting your hands on his arms.

“I’ll be fine… I think- I’ve had a flu. It might have turned into pneumonia. I just felt dizzy.”

“Pneumonia?” You blanched, pressing the back of your hand to his forehead, and then his cheeks. “You’re burning up. What happened probably made it worse. You should lie down. I’ll get you some medicine for the fever.”

Seokjin shook his head. “It’s okay, honestly. I don’t want to intrude any longer. You’ve already done more than enough for me. I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Look… I can’t make you stay here. If you want to leave, you can leave, but I want you to know that you’re not intruding. It would make me feel better if you stayed until we can figure something else out. If you go back out there in the cold, you will get worse.” You said softly, and in response, he looked so confused about your concern.

“Okay...” He finally agreed, and you sighed in relief.

Once he was laying down, you grabbed some medicine and a full glass of water. You sat on the edge of the bed after handing it to him, watching him take large gulps with the pills.

“Are you having trouble breathing at all?” You asked.

He shook his head. “No. Well, maybe through my nose, but that’s to be expected. My lungs feel clear.”

“Good. That’s good.” You breathed out in a fresh wave of relief. “Rest for as long as you need.”

It was well after a week later when Seokjin finally started feeling better. Perfect timing, because It was also winter break for schools, which meant you had a couple weeks off from work, and tomorrow; it was Christmas Day. You were hosting it at your house this year. Your parents would be coming over, along with your sister and her husband Namjoon. Jungkook would also be coming by, because he wasn’t able to fly out to see his parents after New Year’s. He would be bringing the desserts.

You were just finishing up with wrapping the last minute gift, setting it underneath the Christmas tree when Seokjin came into the living room. You were glad it was already wrapped, because the gift happened to be for him. You didn’t want him feeling left out while everyone else would be unwrapping gifts tomorrow. Plus, he deserved something nice. You didn’t know how long he had been on the streets, or when the last time he was able to celebrate the holidays. There was so much you didn’t know. All you knew, was that he was very kind and gentle. You had no clue what he’s been through.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” You asked, looking up to see him in a pair of jeans and t-shirt that Jungkook brought for him.

“I’m doing better. I actually- I know you said I’m welcome to stay for a while, but I don’t want to disrupt your Christmas, so I thought maybe-“

“Seokjin, you shouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone out there.” You cut him off before he could say he would leave.

“I’m used to it. I’ve done it for years.” The way he said it like it was just a fact made you want to cry.

“Well not this year. You think I’m just going to kick you to the curb on Christmas eve?” You asked incredulously.

He opened and closed his mouth, but he didn’t have anything to say to that, so he settled for sitting down on the couch. “What are you doing?”

“I just finished wrapping your gift.” You grinned, plopping down on the couch as well.

“You got me a gift? I- Why?” Now it was his turn to act incredulous.

“Because we’re friends now.” You said simply.

“But I- I’m not able to get you one in return. I have no money. I don’t need anything. The fact that you are even letting me be here for Christmas is a gift itself.” His eyes were shining with tears.

You shook your head. “I’ll get gifts from my family and my best friend. You don’t need to feel bad. You deserve a gift too.” You reassured him.

The next thing Seokjin did took you by surprise. He threw his arms around you and hugged you tightly, hooking his chin on your shoulder. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Your arms came up to hug him back, resting your palms against his back.

He flinched momentarily, almost as if it were a reflex, and then he relaxed in your hold. It didn’t slip past your notice, though.

“Are you hurt?” You pulled back to look at him.

His eyes widened. “No, I’m not hurt. It’s just… I have scars on my back.”

You shouldn’t have asked, it was none of your business, but the question spilled out anyway. “Did someone put them there?”

He gave you a sad smile, like he was trying to reassure you, but what he said next didn’t make you feel any better. “It was a long time ago. They don’t hurt anymore. It’s only a memory now.”

“Oh god…” You felt sick to your stomach at the fact that someone had actually physically hurt him in the past, and he said it was a long time ago, which meant someone hurt him when he was just a kid most likely.

“Y/n, it’s okay-“

“No… No, It’s not okay. How can you say it’s okay?” You were angry now; angry at whoever hurt him so badly that it would cause him to flinch at someone even touching his back. The memory was obviously a painful one, and being touched there must have reminded him of it.

“It’s not okay it happened, but I mean, I’m okay now. They haven’t been able to hurt me in a long time.” He said.

“But the memory hurts, doesn’t it? In here.” You placed a hand to your heart.

He couldn’t deny that, so when he didn’t say anything in response, you just leaned forward to hug him again, rubbing his back soothingly. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve it. No one deserves that…”

He let out a breathy exhale as he returned the hug this time, his eyes falling shut. It felt nice for him, to be held like this. “You’re an angel.”

Those words had your face turning scarlet faster than it ever has. No one has ever called you that, not even your exes. It was a good thing you were hiding your face against his shoulder.

You didn’t let him go after that. You knew he needed the comfort. Instead, you moved the both of you into a laying position on the couch as you held him, your chest pressed to his back.

“I haven’t been able to celebrate a nice Christmas since the last time I saw my younger brother, which was when I was a child…” He started to open up, and you were shocked, not expecting it.

“Where is your brother now?” You mumbled against his shoulder, against the cotton of the t-shirt.

“I don’t know… We got separated as kids. He got adopted into a good home. My parents put me up for adoption when I was a baby, and I went to a good family at first. They adopted Taehyung a few years later when he was a baby. I just turned eight when our adoptive family passed in a car accident. Tae was five. We went into the system after that for a few months, and when an opportunity came up for a good home, I made sure it was my brother who got it.”

Your heart clenched as he explained.

“What happened to you?”

“I… I was put into a foster home where I got those scars. I was with that family for years until they got bored and tossed me back into the system. Everytime it happened, I was just glad it wasn’t Tae in my position. I went to another home for only a couple years after that. Nothing really happened there, but they couldn’t make rent, so I went back into the system again.”

Your arms tightened around him almost protectively, even though it was too late for that now. It wouldn’t change what happened to the younger version of him. This man had been through so much. You couldn’t even imagine what that all must have been like for him.

“The next home I went to was when I sixteen. They didn’t hurt me like the previous one, and it was only because they wanted to hurt the younger foster kids. I intervened every single time I could to try and stop it. The last time I got into a physical fight with the man before he could take out his anger on a little girl. Then, he ended up giving his wife a black eye and blamed it on me, and she went along with it. They had money so they pressed charges against me, and I ended up being the one in trouble. I’ve been on the streets ever since I was eighteen. No one wanted to hire me because of the offense I had on me. I tried for so many years, and no one would give me a chance. By the time the offense was off my record, it was because no one wanted to hire a homeless person with no work experience. I’m just glad that the foster parents finally got caught, and weren’t able to foster kids anymore.”

You didn’t need to see him to know that he was crying as he finished his story. All you could do was hold him through it; give him as much comfort as you could. He wasn’t the only one crying either. Hearing everything he told you made you cry as well. No human being deserved to go through what he went through.

“That’s- You didn’t deserve any of that. I think you are so strong for being able to protect everyone around you while holding yourself together.” You whispered.

“It wasn’t easy.” His voice was hoarse. “Is it okay if we stay like this for the rest of the night? You can say no, I just… I’ve never had someone comfort me before. Not since I was seven.”

“Yes, of course. I’m here. You’re not alone.” You turned on a Christmas movie for the two of you to watch, and you counted it as a success noticing it relaxed him even more. You ended up falling asleep shortly after the second movie.

A knock on the door the next morning had you startling awake. You were still on the couch with Seokjin, in the same position you fell asleep to last night, with your arm wrapped around him. You moved once you noticed it woke your new friend up as well, grabbing your phone to check the time to see if you overslept or something. You hadn’t; it was still early, and you weren’t expecting your family until later. When another knock came, this time impatient, you knew that it had to be your best friend.

You got up and padded your feet to unlock the front door before opening it. The smile on his face was much too chipper before having your morning coffee.

“Wow, dressed already?” Was he way of greeted.

You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion before looking down at yourself. Ah, yes… You didn’t change into your pajamas last night after hearing Seokjin’s story. You hadn’t wanted to break the comfort.

“Oh, I actually still need to shower. I fell asleep in my clothes last night. What are you doing here so early, anyway?” You pressed a hand to your hip.

“Thought I’d help out. I was getting bored at home.”

“Of course you were.” You rolled your eyes.

Jungkook ignored that comment completely, instead moving over to where Seokjin was sitting on the couch, watching the exchange quietly. “Hey man, I’m Jungkook. It’s nice to officially meet you.”

“Hi, Seokjin.” Your new friend responded, holding out a hand for Jungkook to shake, but your best friend scoffed and pulled him in for a hug instead. You laughed because it completely caught the other man by surprise, but he returned it nonetheless. “You’re the one who gave me these clothes, right? I appreciate it, thank you…”

“Don’t mention it! Any friend of Y/n’s is a friend of mine.” Jungkook waved it off.

“Well, I’ll let you two chat. I’m gonna take a shower.” You left them to it, not the least bit worried. You had a feeling they would get along easily.

As you let the hot water fall over your skin, you thought about everything Seokjin had told you yesterday. It made your heart hurt for him, but it also made your blood boil. It made you want to find the family that gave him those scars and give them a piece of your mind. You didn’t even know what they looked like… Or how bad they were. It was something that you dreaded to ever see with your own eyes.

You didn’t know how someone could endure so much and still be so gentle and kind. You were surprised he even trusted you at all… That he didn’t run off first chance he got. You were glad that he didn’t, and in this time getting to know him more, you have grown to care about him and his well being. You didn’t want to see him out on the streets anymore. He deserved something good, something stable for once, and you wouldn’t be the one to take that away from him.

You decided to wear a red cardigan since it was Christmas, settling for a pair of ripped jeans to go with it; then you put a little bit of make up on and curled your hair before heading downstairs to find your best friend and new friend chatting it up on the couch, and Seokjin… He was laughing at something Jungkook said. You frowned, suddenly jealous because you haven’t gotten a laugh out of him yet, and your best friend here did, just like that?

It faded pretty quickly though, because it was just nice to see him laugh at something period. No matter who made him do it. It meant he was at least happy enough to let loose, right here and now.

They sensed your presence while you just stood there like a dumbass not saying anything to alert them that you were back, and you cleared your throat as they both just looked at you. Seokjin’s eyes were unreadable, but JK’s were scrutinizing. He was trying to read your mind, the jerk.

“What’s so funny?” You went with, joining them on the couch.

“Jungkookie was telling me something funny that happened at his restaurant.”

Oh. Jungkookie? He had a nickname now?! You didn’t get a nickname. Well, he did call you an angel, but it wasn’t in the nickname sense. It wasn’t like he would carry on calling you that, so it didn’t count. So, what? Did he like Jungkook better than you now? Not only did he make Seokjin laugh, he earned a damn nickname from your new friend. Like they were best buds. In reality, you were glad that they got along, but you weren’t thinking about that right now.

“Why are you murdering me with your eyes right now, Y/n?” Your best friend raised his eyebrows practically up to his hairline, amused.

You blinked. You couldn’t exactly admit what you were just thinking about. “I was thinking about how you woke me up early with no coffee.”

Your best friend knew you too well, and because he knew you; he also knew you were lying, but thankfully he kept quiet… For now. “Okay, Grinch. Who wants to do a coffee run with me then?”

You ignored that, but before you could speak, your new friend did. “I’m actually going to take a shower now. You guys go ahead. I mean, unless you wanted me to go, if you would like to stay here?” He said the last part to you, a question.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll go with the pain in my ass.” Jungkook snorted in the background, and you just grinned. “What kind of coffee would you like?”

“Oh. I’ll be fine. I don’t need one.” He said softly, and you knew for a fact it was because he didn’t want you spending money on him.

“Seokjin, it’s Christmas. Let me get you one, atleast this once, please?” You tried.

“Okay, but I want to help cook and be the one to clean up the dishes. It’s the least I can do.” He finally relented.

“Well-

“I wasn’t asking about the dishes, I will clean them. As far as the cooking goes, I would like to help, if you’ll let me.” He added.

“Alright, you got a deal.” You smiled.

“Anything sweet for the coffee is okay with me.” He returned your smile.

“Something sweet, gotcha.” You nodded, and you already had an idea of what you could get. He would probably love a snickerdoodle latte.

“That’s a nice sweater. You look really pretty.” He said once he got up, the tips of his ears red.

You blinked twice, surprised, your face flushed, completely ignoring Jungkook’s twin raised eyebrows. “Oh. Thank you.”

Seokjin nodded before disappearing down the hall, presumably to take his shower. You sat there dumbly for a moment, having not expected a compliment, or well, atleast not one like that. It made you feel… strange. Not in a bad way.

Your best friend waited until he heard the water start running before he spoke. “Seokjin is nice. I like him.”

“Yeah, I noticed. The way you two were all buddy, buddy.”

“So, you were jealous. I thought so.” Jungkook smirked.

“I was not jealous!” You balked.

“You were totally jealous. Why?” He laughed.

“I wasn’t jealous. I was just wondering what you did to get him to laugh and deserve a nickname when I have known him longer than you have. He likes you better than me.” You crossed your arms, knowing you were being petty. It made your best friend laugh even harder, clutching his stomach. You threw a couch pillow at him, to which he foreseen because he caught it.

“Well that’s because you must being boring.” Jungkook teased. “I’m the cool one.”

You gasped. “How dare you! I am not boring.”

“I’m joking. He definitely likes you better.” He tossed the pillow back at you with a grin. “Let’s go get that coffee, Grinch.”

“Jerk!” You laughed.

On the way back home, warm coffee in your hands, you let Jungkook drive the car back. “Can’t believe you pretty woman’d him.”

You gaped at your best friend. “He’s not a sex worker, JK. I did not pretty woman him!”

“Do you like him?” He asked then, tone more serious.

“I- I don’t know…” You trailed off with a shrug.

“It’s okay if you do. That’s not a bad thing. He’s a nice guy. Definitely easy on the eyes.” He gave you his first reassurance of the day.

“No, I know. I don’t want to take advantage… I gave him a place to stay, and he trusts me. It’s not my place to say, but he’s been through a lot. I don’t want to jeopardize a sensitive situation.” You explained.

“I get it. I’ll tell you what… After I see the way he cooks today, if he does a good job, I’ll let him work at my restaurant. Let him cook all of it. If I give him a chance, I gotta know he’s a decent cook.” He suggested.

Your eyes widened. “Really? I’m sure he would love that.”

Your best friend smiled. “Let’s see how he does.”

As it turned out, Seokjin was not only a decent cook; he was an incredible one. The food was delicious, and you could tell that your best friend was thoroughly impressed. Your parents, your sister, and Namjoon all enjoyed it as well.

You were pretty embarrassed when your mom dragged you aside to ask if Seokjin was your boyfriend. You had blushed and told her that he was a good friend.

You were really happy to see how well he got along with your family. He was smiling so much, like he was truly happy in this moment.

As you all gathered around the fireplace to unwrap gifts, he waited until everyone was done before opening his. You had gotten him a silver chain necklace, and he seemed to really like it, putting it on right away with tears shining in his eyes.

Now, it was just the two of you again after everyone else had left, sipping some spiked eggnog as you watched more Christmas movies on the couch.

Seokjin set his glass down with a relaxed smile. “I better stop. I don’t drink. I’m pretty much a lightweight.”

You giggled. “I can tell. Your eyes are unfocused.”

He blinked, refocusing on you. “Jungkookie offered me a job.”

A smile rose to your face. “I know. He talked to me about it. I’m happy for you.”

“I just- I can’t believe he would give me a chance just like that.” He sounded like he was stunned.

“I can. It’s because you deserve a chance. Jungkook saw that too.” You said confidently.

Tears sprung to your new friend’s eyes. “None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you. I don’t think you know how much you have done for me, and when I’m able to make enough money, I’ll pay you back for everything, all of the food you have spent money on.”

“Seokjin, I don’t want you to pay me back. I didn’t help you with the intention that you would pay me back someday. I’m just glad you are safe, and healthy.” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

“Will you atleast let me return the favor when I’m able to?” He asked. “I would really like to.”

“That, I can do.” You agreed. “I’m pretty sleepy from the eggnog so I think I’ll head to bed. Good night… Merry Christmas, Jinnie.” The nickname slipped out of your mouth.

“Merry Christmas, Y/n.” He responded, bidding you good night. You thought he called you an angel again, but you couldn’t be sure, and as soon as you hit your sheets, you fell fast asleep.

It was still dark outside when you were startled awake by noises down the hall. After coming to your senses, you realized that it was Seokjin.

Worried, you pulled the covers off of you before getting out of your bed, padding down the hall to the guest bedroom to find your friend letting out small whimpers, his form shaking in bed. At a closer inspection, you noticed sweat beading on his forehead. He looked to be in distress.

You called his name once, softly, but also loud enough for him to hear. No response.

You sat down on the edge of the bed carefully, reaching for his arm. “Seokjin, you’re okay.”

“Please, stop…” Another whimper. He was having a nightmare.

“Seokjin.” You tried again, and this time he jumped awake, his eyes opening wide as he shot up in bed, breathing heavily.

“Hey, Seokjin. It’s me… It’s Y/n. You were having a nightmare.” You said gently, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

His eyes blinked rapidly before clearing and settling on you. He felt guilty. “Did I wake you up?”

“Don’t worry about that. You can’t help it if you had a nightmare.” You got into bed beside him, opening your arms. “Come here.”

He did immediately, laying back down before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest before burying his nose in your hair.

“I’m sorry for waking you.” He murmured.

“Don’t be. I’m here. No one can hurt you, ever again. You’re safe.” You rubbed your hand back and forth over his back, your forehead pressed against the cotton of his t-shirt. His heart rate was starting to calm with each stroke.

It was minutes later that he spoke again. “They don’t happen all the time, not anymore. Before, I got them every single night. Now, it happens maybe once every couple of months… It’s always the same exact nightmare though.”

“Can- Can I try to help you replace the bad memory with a good one? It might not work, but… I want to try. I don’t like seeing you suffer.” You pulled back a bit to look at him.

“Okay, how?” His fingers fisted in your own shirt.

“Well, first… Can I see?” You asked, and when he froze, you immediately backtracked. “Only if you are okay with showing me. You don’t have to if you aren’t comfortable.”

His body relaxed, and then he was leaving your arms to sit up, flicking on the bedside lamp before pulling his t-shirt off, tossing it to the end of the bed before turning his back to you.

If you thought you knew what to expect, you were wrong. Thick red scars ran up the expanse of his back. Some were bigger than others, but they covered every inch. The scars were so bad, it looked like the wounds hadn’t healed correctly, the skin raised. They looked like they were from lashings, and you couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain he must have felt getting them. They may have just been scars now, but scars weren’t only left on the outside, they were left on the inside too.

Tears gathered in your eyes as you ran your fingers featherlight over the raised skin, tracing each and every one of them. Seokjin shivered in response, goosebumps appearing on his skin as he relaxed into your touch.

As you leaned forward to rest your forehead on his bare shoulder, your tears wet his skin. You wished you could just take them away. Take every bad thing he’s ever gone through away and replace it with something good. Once the tears started, you couldn’t get them to stop, and soon you were full on crying against his back, your arms moving beneath his to wrap around his middle, holding onto him as you broke down.

“Y/n… I wouldn’t have showed you had I known it would make you cry.” His voice cracked as he spoke.

“I’m… I’m okay. I just- I don’t understand… I don’t understand.” Your tears wet the skin of his shoulders before dripping down his back. You stayed that way until they slowed down.

“Some things will never be understood, but I’m alright now. I may have nightmares from time to time, but they don’t take over my life.” He placed his hand right over yours where it was resting on his stomach, his bigger one completely covering yours.

You let yourself calm down before carrying on, and when you leaned in to press a gentle kiss to a scar on his upper back right near the middle, you checked in with him. “Is this okay?”

His breath caught, the exhale he released drawn out, and then you felt him nod. “Yeah.”

With his approval, you pressed soft kisses to each and every one of his scars, your lips tracing a path to the next one, and you would continue doing this until the memory of how he got these scars were replaced by the feeling of your lips.

You held him that night, and he slept peacefully, no nightmares in sight, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You fell asleep with your chin resting atop his head. The next morning, you woke up to him making you breakfast. After everything he went through, he was still so thoughtful.

New year’s eve would have been spent at home if not for your coworker Hobi inviting you to his big party, talking about how teachers needed to have fun too. You were wearing a sparkly black dress, and Seokjin was wearing a really nice silky black button up that Jungkook had loaned to him, along with a pair of black pants. His hair was also swept to the side, exposing his forehead. He looked so handsome you could cry.

Jungkook brought a date with him here, a nice girl he had been seeing for a couple weeks. It was still new, but it seemed promising. You were happy for him. You left Seokjin with them to go grab a glass of champagne for the two of you; your best friend was talking to him about starting work after the New Year.

“I’m glad you could make it, Y/n. You brought quite the date.” Hoseok grinned, tapping his champagne glass against your own.

“Oh, it’s- we’re not dating.” You realized you were frowning.

“Well, if you want to be, then you might want to say something.” Hobi raised his glass to gesture at something behind you.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you turned around to see what he was talking about, and your stomach dropped. Lea, the sweet, confident teacher that all of the male teachers loved was talking to Seokjin. No, not talking; she was flirting with him, her finger trailing over his left bicep over the material of his dress shirt. Whatever she was saying to him had his ears turning red.

You downed the champagne in one go, grabbing another glass. “Wonderful. Because of course. I mean, look at him. Who wouldn’t want him?”

“Adorable.” Hoseok snorted. “He’s not returning her flirtations. I’m a guy, I would know. He’s not interested.”

“He’s blushing.” You pointed out.

“Uh yeah, because he’s embarrassed by something she said. Trust me, he’s not interested.” Your friend reiterated.

Even with Hoseok’s reassurance, you were still doubtful, your heart clenching painfully as you walked over to Seokjin with two glasses of champagne. He was alone now, and he thanked you for the drink when you handed his to him.

“I saw you met Lea.” You said quietly.

“I did.” He said, the same red tint to his ears. “She told me she wanted to be my new year’s kiss.”

Bile rose up through your throat, making you sick to your stomach. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“I s-“

“You should go for it. It’s New Year’s. Have fun.” You took a large drink of your champagne, and then another.

He was giving you an indecipherable look. “I should?”

“Yeah, of course.” You shrugged, finishing your glass of champagne. Inside you felt like you were breaking, but you would sacrifice everything for his happiness. “You deserve to be happy. Lea is a nice girl.”

Seokjin swallowed noticeably, a frown furrowing his eyebrows. “But-“

“You should go find her. Don’t lose out on this chance on my account. I can hang out with Hobi. Good luck.” You gave him a thumbs up before disappearing in search of Hoseok. You were just talking to him, where could he have gone?

You hoped Seokjin was able to find Lea. You didn’t want him to think you were ditching him, but couldn’t have him stick by your side because he felt bad, or felt like he owed you or something. You didn’t want to hold him back. He was an amazing man, your coworker would be extremely lucky to have him.

“Well, it didn’t work out for me. Lea already asked him to be his new year’s kiss.” You moped when you finally found Hobi in his kitchen getting out more champagne out for everyone.

“And he said yes?” Your friend looked shocked, as if he could never be wrong about something.

“I mean, I’m assuming so.” You shrugged, sitting down on a stool at the counter as you sipped from your glass, sadness evident in your features.

“What do you mean by assuming so?” Hoseok leaned across his counter to level you with a look, elbows resting against the marble.

You let out a sigh. “I didn’t want to hear him say the words so I just told him to have a good time and ran off.”

“Y/n… Come on, you don’t even know what he said to her.” Hobi’s judging eyes made you feel worse.

You finished the liquid in your glass, but just as you were about to respond, your best friend was barging into the kitchen.

“Y/n, there you are! Why did you just leave Jin hyung alone out there? Why even invite him to come if you’re not going to spend time with him?He’s just sitting there, by himself.” Jungkook scolded you, a hand resting on his hip. Now you had another set of judging eyes on you.

“I didn’t- I thought he would be with Lea!” You defended yourself.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you. “You mean the chick he turned down a while ago? Are you that dense?”

“I don’t… Where is he?” You asked, feeling guilty. You had honestly thought you were trying to help him out. What if you were the one who was wrong?

“He’s on the couch.” Jungkook responded.

You got rid of your glass of champagne before heading back out there. You found Seokjin exactly where Jungkook said he would be, fidgeting with his hands.

You sat down beside him. “Jin, I- I’m sorry for leaving you out here. I honestly thought I was doing you a favor… I figured you would have went to find Lea.”

“Why do you want to set me up so badly?” He turned to look at you.

Your eyes widened at his blunt question. “I just… I only want you to be happy.”

“I am happy… I’m not interested in Lea. She seems nice, but I - I have feelings for you.” His words surprised you. Maybe you shouldn’t be surprised, but you were.

“You do?”

He nodded, reaching for you hand to twine your fingers together. “I do, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I know I’m a nobody who doesn’t deserve you, but please, don’t try to set me up with anyone.”

Your heart broke at his words, and you squeezed his hand, turning to face him before cupping his cheek. “Seokjin, you’re- You are not a nobody. You’re an incredible, strong, kind human being, and you deserve to have whatever you want. Let’s be clear on that. You deserve the world. I feel the same way about you, and I consider myself lucky to be wanted by such an amazing man.”

“You… Really? You have feelings for me?” He seemed to be in shock by that revelation. You would do whatever it took to reassure him.

“Yes, I do. Can I be your new year’s kiss?” A smile formed on your face.

“Yes, of course.” He said immediately.

You leaned against him, resting your head on his broad shoulder. “I’m sorry I left you alone out here.”

“It’s okay, angel. It was not even ten minutes.”

Your heart swelled at the nickname, and you got so lost in the moment, that when everyone began the countdown to the new year; you were quiet, lifting your head up to look at Seokjin.

9….

He looked back at you.

8….

You were suddenly nervous, although you weren’t sure why. It wasn’t like you’ve never kissed anyone before. But that was just it; Seokjin wasn’t just anyone. He was someone you cared for deeply. You could even see yourself falling in love with him.

7….

Actually, you would say you were already halfway there.

6….

Your eyes drifted down to his lips for a fraction of a second before drifting back to his eyes, knowing his had done the same thing.

5….

He smiled at you then. It was a beautiful smile. One you could spend the rest of your life seeing. You didn’t want him to leave your home once he made enough money of his own. You wanted him to stay.

4….

You smiled back before your eyes fell to the necklace you had gotten him for Christmas. He hasn’t taken it off once. He even slept with it on.

3….

You tugged on the silver chain lightly, pulling him closer to you until your foreheads were pressed together.

2….

His eyes fell shut, and so did yours, his hand coming up to rest against your cheek.

1….

Everything was background noise when his plump lips pressed against yours, the feeling of butterflies erupting in your stomach making goosebumps rise to your skin. A sigh of content escaped you as you tried to press closer to him. He seemed to know what you wanted because his hand moved to the back of your head to angle you just right so the kiss could deepen, and when his tongue met your own, he swallowed the soft moan you let out.

You somehow ended up on top of him, with his head leaning back against the couch rest, and the purely satisfied hum that escaped him made you whine desperately. Like kissing you was the best thing he has ever done. You didn’t know how much time had passed since you started kissing, all you knew was him, and that you didn’t want it to stop, only pulling away when it was necessary to breathe before diving back in again, devouring eachother until you had a pair of matching red, swollen lips.

A throat clearing in the distance didn’t even stop you, but loud clapping a second later did, and you finally broke away from the kiss to find Hoseok standing there with his judging eyes.

“I hate to interrupt, but you two are not fucking on my comfortable couch. I sit there everyday!” Hobi griped. “Get a room.”

“I guess we both forgot where we were for a moment.” You laughed.

“Yeah, I could tell!” Your friend shook his head as he walked away, muttering under his breath about being disgusted. It made you laugh harder. Even Seokjin was chuckling.

You were tame after that, only trading gentle kisses. “Will you stay?”

You didn’t have to explain what you meant. He knew right away. “I’ll stay for as long as you want me.”

“Stay forever.” You kissed his neck.

“Then I’ll stay forever.” His fingers ran through your hair, and your eyes slipped closed at the feeling.

That night, when you bid goodbye to Jungkook and his date, thanking Hoseok for the invite, he just smirked and slipped Seokjin a condom, to which he had blushed furiously.

You called a cab since you both had a few drinks, and as soon as you made it into the house, your lips were attached once more, and you guided him to your bedroom as his fingers moved to unzip your dress, letting it fall to the ground.

You worked the buttons open on his dress shirt before stripping it off of him. This was your second time seeing him without a shirt, and this time, you got to admire his beautiful golden skin, his own eyes soaking the image of you bared before him, all except for your bra and underwear, which; the bra came off next.

“You’re so beautiful.” He murmured, lifting you up before depositing you onto your bed, crawling over you to press kisses all along your neck.

“So are you, Jin.” You thread your fingers through his dark hair, dragging him in for a kiss that he eagerly returned.

He reached into his back pocket for the condom Hoseok had gifted him, and you frowned as he stared down at it with maroon tinted cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“Um… I’m not- I didn’t think about it until now. It’s been a while since I- anyway, it’s- it won’t fit.” He said awkwardly.

“You mean, the condom won’t fit?” You asked in clarification, and he nodded.

“Oh…” How big was his dick that a normal sized condom wouldn’t fit?!

“It’s okay, we can do that another time. I still would like to pleasure you, if you’d like?” He asked hopefully. As if you would ever say no.

“Yes, please.” You said eagerly, and then, “Have you ever had sex without protection?”

“No. I’ve always used a condom, and if I’m being honest… It’s been a really long time for me.” He buried his face in your neck, pressing a delicate kiss to your pulse point.

“Then I trust you, we can go without one. I’m clean too, and I’m on the pill, so long as you are okay with it?” He looked up to you at your words, searching your face.

“Are you sure, Y/n?”

You nodded. “Absolutely. I want to be with you. I need you.”

“I’m here. I’m yours.” He responded, trailing kisses down your chest, paying attention to both of your breasts before moving downward, his fingers hooking in your panties before dragging them down your legs to pull them off.

“You have such a pretty cunt, angel. I want to taste.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he was burying his face between your legs to lick a long stripe through your folds.

“Ah, Seokjin!” You moaned out in surprise, both at his words, and his wet tongue stroking your pussy, and your fingers came down to bury themselves in his raven hair.

“You taste so good.” He hummed as he ate you out, his tongue spearing inside of you before dragging it out to suckle around your clit, adding a long finger inside of you where his tongue had been.

It had been a while for you too, so when he added a second finger, it burned slightly, but with the way his tongue was lavishing your clit, you barely noticed, especially when he found your g-spot, hitting it with his fingers over and over, and that, along with the suction at your bundle of nerves sent you over the edge with a scream of his name.

He didn’t let up until you became over sensitive, letting out a whimper as you dragged him back up for a messy kiss, locking your legs behind him to press your bodies together. That was when you felt it; a rather large, insistent bulge pressing against your core through his pants. You just had an orgasm, but you were already desperate for more. You wanted him inside of you, bare. Nothing between you and him.

“Seokjin, please…” You murmured against his lips, feeling him rock against you, the fabric of his pants catching on your over sensitive clit, making you gasp.

“Please what, angel?”

Who knew Seokjin would be such a tease? You weren’t complaining. You would happily beg for him, especially seeing it turn him on so much.

“I want your cock, Jin, please.”

He groaned against your lips before breaking the kiss to undo his pants, getting them off of his legs before pulling his boxers off next.

As soon as his cock sprang free, you definitely saw why the regular sized condom wouldn’t fit. Holy shit. That thing was going to fill you up in places you had never been filled before. The stretch was going to burn so good.

It was a nice cock too. Long and girthy, the head a dusky pink color, leaking a heady amount of pre cum. His balls were heavy with the need to cum. You were having a dilemma, because you wanted him to fuck you, but you also wanted to get your mouth on his dick. No, as tempting as it was; you needed him inside of you. Next time… You would suck his cock.

“You have such a nice dick, Jinnie… Gonna stretch me out so good.” You said seductively as you wrapped your fingers around the swollen head, dipping your thumb in the slit to collect the pre-cum beading there before running it down the length of his cock, stroking him leisurely. You could become addicted to the feel of him in your hand.

“Ah, fuck… Y/n.” His hips bucked into your hand, his palms landing on the bed beside your head to catch himself as he pitched forward. “Baby, stop… It’s been too long. I won’t last.”

You let go of his dick in favor of dragging him down for a slow kiss as you felt him prodding around your entrance, running his length through your folds to get it wet before nudging the thick head inside, making you gasp on against his lips. Fuck, he was huge.

“These are so nice.” Seokjin sighed in pleasure as he caressed your breasts, sinking into you further, working the head in and out as you got used to the intrusion. “Fuck baby, you’re so tight. This pretty pussy is squeezing me. Taking it so well.”

He let out a full body shudder as the entire length of his cock was finally sheathed inside of you, and you breathed through the pain of being split open.

“Are you okay?” He breathed out, clearly holding himself back as his thumb moved between you to stroke your clit. The pleasure had ebbed away some from the burn of being speared on his cock, but once you got used to the feeling, it returned full force.

“Yeah, I’m alright. You can move.” You wrapped your legs around him, digging your heels in his ass to press him against you.

“Fuck… You feel incredible.” He let out a desperate sound as his cock left you, only to thrust back in again, hard, and you gasped out his name as he easily found that special spot inside of you. His thumb was still working against your bundle of nerves as he lifted your legs around his wide shoulders so he could hit you deep, the head of his cock ramming against your cervix repeatedly.

“Oh god, I’m fuck- I’m close already. I can’t- I don’t think I can hold it. You feel too good…” Seokjin growled out as he burried his face into your neck, panting harshly. You didn’t mind one bit. You actually found it incredibly hot that you managed to make him lose control this quick.

“It’s okay, Jinnie. Let go…” You encouraged him, not too far behind with the way his cock was filling you up, his thumb working over your clit like he already knew just how you liked to be touched. “I’m close too. You feel so good…”

“I - I’m- want you to cum with me… Want you to cum on my cock.” A desperate moan, bordering on a whine, left his lips, his thrusts growing sloppy.

“Fill me up, Jin… Cum inside me, please.” You begged, and he lost it at that, a needy sound leaving him as his cock throbbed, painting your insides with powerful spurts of his sticky release, so much of it that you could practically feel the force of it inside of you, and when your cunt clamped around him as your own orgasm hit, he groaned out your name as you milked more cum from him, his lips claiming yours as you rode out your highs together.

As you lay there together in your bed after cleaning, your head resting against his chest, you thought about the first day you met Seokjin on the streets. He went from being all skin and bones to his body being filled out. He looked healthy. He no longer had bags under his eyes. Instead, they shone brightly. There was one thing you wanted to know. One question that was the most important of all.

“Jin?”

“Hm?” His eyes were sleepy as he blinked at you.

“Are you happy?” You whispered in the dark.

“I am happy. I don’t think I could be any happier than I am now.” He said honestly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Good. You deserve happiness.” You smiled, your own eyes closing.

“And you… You deserve happiness as well. I hope I’m able to make you happy...”

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” You said right away. “Happy new year, Jinnie.”

“Happy new year, angel.” Another kiss was placed on your forehead.

You weren’t expecting to fall for the kind homeless man, you only planned on helping him, but falling for him happened along the way anyway, and now, you were really happy that you were able to call him yours.

Two years later……

Your kindergarten class was acting mighty suspicious today for some reason. They were all acting as if they knew something that you didn’t. A secret you weren’t let in on. You just knew that your boyfriend had something to do with it. What that thing was exactly; you hadn’t figured it out yet.

Your class loved Seokjin, and anytime he would come visit you at work, he would immediately get attacked by a bunch of five year olds. They would chat his head off, and he would listen, patient as ever. The sight made you swoon. Sometimes though, he was a menace, especially when it came to games. The one time he played a board game with your class, he became super competitive, bragging about beating a bunch of kids. They didn’t take it to heart; instead they were amused by your boyfriend’s antics, as were you. Now, you were wondering what he had planned for them.

“Miss, Y/n?” A little boy in the front row raised his hand.

“Yes, Leo?” You asked.

“This is for you.” He pulled something out of his desk drawer, and you realized that it was a fresh daisy.

You smiled, not thinking anything of it. Kids could be sweet sometimes. “Aw, thank you, Leo. It’s pretty. Did your mommy pick this?”

“Nope.” Was all he said with a knowing smile plastered on his face.

Now you were stumped.

“Miss, Y/n?” Now Mia was raising her hand. “I have one for you too.”

“Oh really?” You asked, watching as she pulled a carnation out of her desk before walking up to hand it to you, an excited grin on her face.

“Thank you, Mia.” You smiled, taken aback when Aron walked up next with a fresh tulip.

“Did Jin bring flowers for you guys to give me ?” You were finally catching on. Your boyfriend had always been thoughtful. The fact that he traveled around to find different types of flowers for you was so sweet it made you want to cry.

Instead of answering your question, Megan just shrugged as she handed you a peony with the same knowing smile the other kids had.

Next came a Sunflower, and then an Orchid, followed by a Poppy, and then came a pretty Violet, and then an Iris, a Dahlia, and a Hydrangea. Where all did he go to find all these beautiful flowers?!

Tears filled your eyes. You always were emotional.

“Miss Y/n, are you okay?” Rory, the sensitive kid spoke up in concern, the smile he was wearing falling from his face.

“I’m okay, I’m good, I promise. Sometimes people cry when they are happy too.” You reassured the kid.

“They do?” His perplexed expression made you laugh.

“Yes, they do. See, I’m happy.” You gestured to the smile on your face.

“If you say so.”

“Well, what do you got? You’re the only one who hasn’t given me a flower yet.” You wiped your tears away.

“Oh! Yeah!” He was opening his desk, and you weren’t sure what on earth he was doing because he had a look of concentration on his face as he did something inside his desk, and then he was, very carefully, pulling a bright red rose out, the thorns plucked perfectly. He lowered it his lap to hide it as he did something that you couldn’t see. Your eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Hey Alexa, play Can’t help falling in love.” Rory yelled out to the device sitting on your desk, and then he was walking toward you with the rose as the music started playing.

You didn’t know what was going on until the rose was placed on your desk, and a diamond ring fell out from the petals, shining up at you. Your eyes widened drastically as your breathing grew uneven, heart racing a mile a minute as you stared down at the ring in shock. That was not just any ring. That was an engagement ring. You could tell.

“What…?” Your voice wavered in question, and then the entire class was holding up a banner, tiny hands holding it longways, the work clearly done by an adult and not a group of kindergarteners.

“Y/n, I don’t know what I did in life to have an angel find me, but whatever it was, I’m thankful. I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me and be the man you deserve. I’ll love you forever if you will let me. Will you marry me?” Your voice cracked toward the end, tears flowing from your eyes freely now.

“You’re still happy crying, right?” Rory checked.

“Yes.” You laughed, and then Seokjin was walking into the classroom himself, wearing a long, heavy black and white checkered coat and black pants, his hair styled to the side neatly. God, he was so handsome.

“I - I thought you had to work today… Your restaurant…” You trailed off, at a loss for words.

“My restaurant will be fine. I have the day off. I wanted to surprise you. Do you know what today is?” He asked as he came to a stop in front of your desk, picking up the ring lying on your desk.

Of course you knew. “The day we met.”

He nodded, his eyes glassy, and then he was getting down on one knee as the song came to an end. He looked… terrified. As if there were a possibility you would ever say no.

“Yes!” You jumped out of you chair with tears clouding your vision, and then you were dropping on your own knees to throw yourself in his arms. “Yes, yes, yes!”

The whole class erupted into happy screams, and then they were all running up to attack you both in a group hug, making you laugh.

“Put the ring on miss Y/n, Mr. Jinnie!” Anna yelled with an excited grin.

“Yes, put the ring on me, Seokjin.” You held your hand out to him with an adoring smile on your face.

“It would be my honor, Jagi.” He placed the ring on your finger with shaking hands. “There, you’re my fiancée now.”

“And you’re my fiancé.” You looked down to admire the ring. “It’s beautiful, Jin…”

“I’m glad you like it. I love you.” He murmured, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I love you too, Jinnie.” You pressed a PG kiss to his lips.

“Ewww gross!” Ian piped up.

“Yah! You rascals helped me plan this. You can see me kiss my future wife.” Seokjin chastised the kid, and you giggled.

A second later, Hoseok was barging into the classroom. “Congrats! Jin hyung told me he was planning this. I gotta teach you two idiots to dance so you don’t make a fool of yourselves at your wedding.”

The first part of his sentence was nice, and then he ruined it. “Excuse me, Jung Hoseok?” You said his full name in emphasis.

He just grinned in response. “I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, checking your phone when it dinged.

‘Congrats!!!! You said yes, right? You better have! - JK

‘Of course I said yes, you big dummy!’ You chuckled as you texted back.

‘I’ll forgive that because I’m so happy for you!’ - JK

‘Thank you, Kook. I’m really happy.’ - You sent your phone aside with a happy smile, basking in the pure bliss you felt.

Later on that evening at dinner, you gave your fiancé a fond look.

“What?” He asked with a blush.

“You would make an amazing father some day.” You responded.

“I - you think so? I would be scared, you know? My experience…” He trailed off with a swallow.

“It will just make you love harder. That’s who you are, Jin. Trust me, my class loves you, even more than me!” You laughed, but it died down quickly. “I know because I can feel the love you show me, and I’m lucky to be loved by you, the way you love with your whole heart. Trust me, you’ll be an incredible dad.”

He reached for your hand, twining your fingers together as he looked into your eyes. “Do you want that… with me?”

“I want you to myself for a while longer, but yes, I want everything with you. Only if you want that too. If not, it’s okay. I’ll be happy just being yours.” You said softly, squeezing his hand.

“I do, I want that with you too. I want a family with you. That would make me really happy, Y/n.” He leaned across the table to press his lips to yours, pouring all his love for you into the kiss.

You meant what you said, you were the luckiest girl on the planet to be loved by this wonderful man. His nightmares were very seldom now. He only had one throughout the entire year. Talking to a therapist about his past traumas had helped tremendously, and now, he was fully healed, completely happy, and he knew now that he deserved to be happy… deserved to be loved. He soaked in all the love that you gave him and returned it with a love so deep of his own, so pure. One that you could feel every time he looked at you.

You would spend the rest of your life cherishing him, making sure he always knew how loved he was.

Your eyes glanced up to something behind Seokjin and you smiled. You got a call earlier from someone you were finally able to find and get in contact with. You told him to come here. “I have a surprise for you, my love.”

“What?” His eyes widened in surprised.

“Behind you.” You whispered.

Your fiancé turned his head slowly, and even though he hadn’t seen his younger brother in a very long time, it was like he just knew… He knew who it was. Tears filled his eyes. “Tae…”

“Hi, big brother.” Taehyung had tears in his own eyes as well.

“How…” Seokjin turned to look at you, and there it was again, that love shining in his eyes making you feel weak. “Y/n… Thank you.”

You just nodded, tears gathering in your eyes as well at seeing the man you loved finally reuniting with his brother.

“I missed you… so much.” Seokjin wrapped his little brother in a ginormous hug. “How… how are you?”

“I missed you too.” Taehyung returned the embrace. “I’m good… Real good. I have a family. I’d love for you to meet them. I’m glad you are doing good Jin hyung. You have an incredible woman in your life. She really, really loves you. She said she spent a while searching for me so we could see eachother again.”

“I know… Believe me, I know. She is incredible.” Seokjin gave you a warm smile that you returned, and Taehyung joined for the rest of dinner talking about his life, his wife and kids. They seemed wonderful, and the two brothers were already planning a time for you all to get together. When Seokjin invited Tae to the wedding, he promised to be there. He even opened up about his own life, leaving out the more heavier bits, and you all talked for a while longer before your fiancé’s little brother left for the night to let the two of you have dessert alone, with plans to meet for lunch tomorrow.

“Let’s take the dessert to go.” Seokjin suggested once it was the two of you again.

“What? How come?” You asked.

“Because I need you, right now.” He said urgently, and with that, he paid the check and the two of you made your way home.

He made love to you all night long, and you held eachother afterwards, every inch of your bodies pressed together.

This right here, was pure bliss…

The end.

[hamsterseokjini]

Weight of my Heart [Part 1]

Tags: Childhood bestfriends to lovers| Non Idol×fem!reader| Fluff| little hurt/comfort| Post Military Seokjin| Little slow burn| MDNI|| Smut in part 2|

WC: 10.3k in part 1 A/n: This was written in the memory of Military Jin plus my absolute love for bsf to lovers au. It took me quite a long time to long time to write half of it because I got extremely busy with a wedding but I promise the next part will be put up sooner. I hope you don't hate me for the WC and enjoy reading this as much as I loved writing it. Also special mentions of "kiss me" by sixpence that kept me motivated.

Summary: After 18 months of military service, Jin, your childhood best friend has returned and so has much more..

[1:37 pm]

Seokjin: Sergeant Kim Seokjin officially off duty

You smiled reading the message and instantly replied back. 

[1:37 pm]

You: Welcome back to civilian life, the inflation sucks.

[1:38 pm]

Seokjin: Not more than being with sweaty men all day.” 

You: Ugh, you’re right. Fine, you win!

Seokjin: Why do you even try? You have one cardinal rule to know: Kim SeokJin never loses.

You could hear the laughter in his text. 

[1:40 pm]

You: Whatever.

You: When are we meeting?

[1:42 pm]

Seokjin: Got some stuff tomorrow, how about we catch it up at my parents place tonight? I’m headed there right now.

[1:44 pm]

You: 👍

You: I’ll see you after work.

For as long as you’ve lived, you’ve known Jin.

If you look back at your life, there has been one gravitational constant in your life, one that you’ve always felt, one that you have always gravitated to and that’s him. He’s always been there, as an anchor, as your best friend, as your family. You can’t even remember a single phase of your life when he wasn’t present even if you guys were physically at separate locations except his military service.

As a faithful Korean man and absolutely no other option, he enlisted almost 18 months ago, a time where you were not only physically separate but your interaction was limited to occasional calls every once in a while or a few texts in a month. It never affected you as much because you knew your bond with Jin was much stronger than any distance to break but it still made you feel empty during moments that you’d ordinarily share with Jin. Like when you’d walk to the train station, or while you drove past his parents house, or every time you looked at chocolate milk, you couldn’t help but feel a certain emptiness of not having Jin with you then but all of it was over now, he was finally free and you were excited to see your best friend you haven’t met in 18 months. 

“Mr. Kim, my favourite man.” You excitedly greet Jin’s father as you walk into their home, side hugging him. 

“If it isn’t my favourite daughter,” he laughed, hugging you back right away.

You and Jin’s family have a bond that transcends beyond the two of you. Mr. Kim was like your fathers brother. They had met in college and had been inseparable ever since which is why you practically grew up together. Saturday nights were always spent at Kim house while Wednesday evenings at yours. 

“If you both are done, shall we place dinner?” His mom interjects. You and Mr. Kim share a look of defeat before you are forced to walk into the dining area. 

“When are your parents arriving?” Mrs. Kim asked. 

“They’ll be here any minute,” You ask after a pause, “Jin is in his room?” 

Mr. Kim nodded, “Go, get him.” 

You nodded, walking up the stairs and opening the door to his room without knocking, assuming he must have been expecting you anyway but you really should have knocked because the door opened to Jin standing shirtless with a T-shirt in his hand. You gasped and immediately turned around, covering your eyes. 

“My eyes, My eyes! This was not the welcome sight I was hoping for.” 

Jin’s laugh echoed the room and he shut the door behind you, taking your hands off your eyes to see him fully dressed now. 

“Believe me, it is the best sight you can see. 8th wonder of the world, isn’t it?” 

“Can’t tell, didn’t get a good look.” You shrugged sitting down on his bed. 

“Missed your chance. Sadly this beauty will never be witnessed by the world.” He said motioning his hand in the air hinting at his body. You knew even if he was being all cocky right now, he was more shy than he looked.

You scoffed, "Who's stopping you? Walk around shirtless if you really want that."

"Can you handle it?"

There should have been a warning before he leaned in and asked you that question, with a smirk adorning his face. You physically paused for a second, blood rushing to your face due to the proximity. Has he always looked like this? This is the closest Jin has been to you in 18 months and you couldn't help but wonder at how much he has changed or maybe it was the time spent apart. His hair was shorter now, his physique broader now than before, his face still the same but he looked…better? 

You cleared your throat turning away from his gaze, "As if that's anything that difficult. I've seen better."

Jin leaned backward laughing at your comeback.

"Lies but whatever helps you sleep at night Y/n."

You rolled your eyes before looking back at him and a moment's silence fell on you and you realized that it's your best friend standing in front of you. No more video calls or phone calls or text messages. Your crazy, insane, your only best friend was back for good. And you realize then how much you've actually missed him now that he was here.

"What are you staring at?" He interrupted your thoughts, "Imagining what it's like under the shirt?"

"Were you always this cocky?" You frown, titling your head. 

He shrugged, "Military changes you."

He finally sat down next to you.

"Did you miss me?" He asked.

You looked at his face holding a deep emotion that you understood instantly. Despite his exterior, he was still your soft SeokJin whose heart really just belonged here, who in his cockiness was just hiding how much he actually loved being back. You could see every single emotion in his eyes, he wasn't hiding it from you anyway. He never had to. Jin had always felt comfortable with you and he was sure he had never cried in front of anyone but you because that’s how he was with you. 

"What do you think?" You softly replied.

His face adorned with a smile and he hugged you instantly, unable to hold back anymore.  One of his hands rests on the back of your head and the other rests on your back.

You hugged him tighter, sliding closer.

He didn't need to say how much he missed you but he did, "sucked not having anyone to annoy," in his own way of course.

You chuckled in the hug, slapping his back gently, "I missed you too idiot."

His chest vibrated against you in a soft laugh and you let yourself melt into the hug. It reminded you of the last time you hugged him in silence before the military and how afraid you both were that if you said anything both of you would end up crying so neither of you said anything. But this was different, this was warm, it wasn't sad, he was home.

He was finally home.

The dinner went by relatively fun, old jokes resurfacing, old memories, cringey childhood stories, how your parents met each other, the marriage debacle, Jin's first time away from home, your first time away from home, high school stories and what not. You could have lived there, laughing all night but your parents were old, so were his and before it was midnight they all passed out tipsy.

Jin and you took the responsibility to clean up the kitchen and dining area talking softly in whispers, complaining about your parents but it was nice being home, with him across from you.

"Do you wanna go upstairs?" Jin asked once you both were done cleaning the house.

You agreed and slowly made your way upstairs. 

“You still have this?” You smiled as you pointed at a small wand you made from clay when you were young and obsessed with Harry Potter. He just nodded. 

“Souvenir of your creativity.”

"I didn't get a good look when I came into the room earlier. Not a thing has changed." You took in his room, all the frames, all paintings, all his trophies, his CDs, his PC still all intact.

"I was surprised as well but I'm planning on getting rid of some stuff." He said as he sat down on the bed.

You were still looking at the picture frame of you both when you felt a hand pull you onto the bed. You flop like a ball next to Jin. Your heart rushed due to the sudden movement.

"Enough snooping." He said laying back on the bed.

You look at him before you lay down next to him as well staring up at the ceiling.

"Was it lonely?" You asked after a long silence.

Jin cleared his throat and you watched him shake his head, "Lonely and me? Never."

But you don’t look away from him because you still remember his 2 am texts to you about random things that you would be unable to reply to at times. 

"What?"

"Be honest with me. It had to have been lonely." You wanted to reach his hand, hold him but you didn't.

Jin looked at you for a moment. You could read him too well to know that he wouldn't admit it but then he stared back up at the ceiling, "being honest about it now doesn't change anything."

You really wanted him to go and talk about it more but he shifted the conversation to you.

"Enough about me. All we've talked about is me. I want to know about you, what have you been doing this past year except missing me ofcourse." His expressions were much lighter now. 

You rolled your eyes, "as if my world revolves around you."

You felt him nudge you so you had no option but to talk to him. You turned sideways to Jin who had already turned to you

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Are you still doing the same job? Did you finally talk things out with Ha-Yun? Anything that has changed."

You shook your head, "still at the same company but the manager changed so it made things a lot easier. I finally get to do my own share without problems. I texted Ha-Yun but she never reached back, I don't think she will but it's old stuff now. I can't complain. Rest has been the same."

Jin frowned, "do you want me to talk to her? Bet she'd reach out instantly."

You chuckled, "She'll take it as a sign. She's had a crush on you for like forever."

He pouted, nodding."What about that toxic roommate of yours?"

You signal the "kill" gesture with your hand.

"You killed her?" He exaggerated of course, a bit too loudly.

You slapped a hand over his mouth, gently, "not so loud."

You feel him laugh in your palm making you smile but he eventually takes your hand away from over his mouth, "What do you mean I killed her? I live alone now, that's it."

"Can you blame me? You literally did," he reenacted your gesture.

You closed your eyes smiling, "fine, my fault."

"What else?"

Jin pouts thinking for a moment, "Dating? You never talked about it even on the call."

You turned away slightly from Jin's gaze, shifting behind clearing your throat after a moment of silence, "Nope."

Jin's hand grasped yours and turned you to him, "Really? The whole year? Why?"

You just shook your head, "Work doesn't really give me time to date."

He frowned, "But you're here with me. Made time for me."

He waited expectantly for your answer, looking at every feature of your face in the dark as if he was looking for a specific response.

You took a deep breath, "Yah, my best friend is back, do you think I won't make time to see you? Would be pretty rude of me."

Jin hummed, "fair enough. When you have such a handsome best friend you kind of have to."

You shook your head smiling, "Still cocky."

"And you're not denying." You could see him smirk in the dark. 

You really pause for a moment, should you agree? Should you not? Technically he was handsome but should you really fuel his fire by agreeing to him.

"Whatever you want to believe."

And then you sat up straight.

"Look at the time. It's late, I should go-" and you suddenly feel a hand over yours, not holding just softly on top of yours.

"A bit longer?" When you turned to him he was looking at you with anticipation in his eyes, waiting for you to say yes and you wanted to stay longer and because you wanted to so you didn’t. 

You clicked your tongue, "if I hangout with you longer today it won't give you a reason to meet me again soon. Wouldn't want that."

It was perhaps the most honest answer with refusal you could formulate.

Jin seemed impressed by your answer and sat upright next to you, "you've grown bold."

You shrugged. 

And then you really leave bidding your goodbyes, taking your parents with you.

All you really looked forward to though was the next time you'd see Jin again.

The next time you heard from Jin was a week later late at night when you were at home working on pending office work.

"Did you eat?" He asked as soon as he showed up at your flat in his black overalls and spectacles you had forgotten he wore.

You turned to look at the watch on the wall and realized it was pretty late for dinner.

"Knew it. I bought takeout!" He swung the bag in front of your face with a charming smile and a wink that you couldn't turn away from.

While you made room at your table with scattered pages, he set the table with all the food he bought.

"You bought so much food, planning on living here or what?" You joked but Jin looked at you deadpanned.

"Should we?It’ll be fun."

"Are you being serious?" You were dumbfounded.

"Dead serious."

You narrowed your eyes at him not believing him for a second then you sighed.

"You're lying, your ears are all red. That's your tell." You said going back to clearing everything to one side of the table.

Jin immediately covered his ears, "Damn it. You know me too much, can't even fool you."

He was disappointed to say the least but you had a good laugh out of it so it was all settled.

Once you started eating you ended up talking for a long while about Jin's sabbatical getting over and starting work soon and just other unimportant stuff.

"What were you working on anyway?" He asked randomly looking at the pile of papers next to your laptop.

"Audit stuff. I have to upload all the data on the cloud by 4pm tomorrow and the data is too much."

"Do you want me to help? You know I'm a pretty fast typer." That was in fact true. With all the games he played, all the coding he did he had skilled fingers and you let your greedy intentions get you for a second, almost agreeing but then you realized you shouldn't take advantage of him.

"Nah, I'll do it. I don't want to inconvenience you besides you also have to go back.. right?"

Jin just shrugged, "I could crash or just leave as soon as the work is over. Let me help, it'll be easier."

You hesitated but then he got up from his chair and leaned down next to you, turning your chair to face him.

"You're not inconveniencing me. What are best friends for anyway? Let me help."

And so losing the argument, you let him.

You ended up with 3 batches of coffee made in between with Jin typing on your laptop while you told him exactly what and where to type and with his help the work summed up much sooner than you had planned. By the time you get free from work it was past 3 am.

"You really should sleep. You've got work tomorrow." Jin said as you yawned for the 20th time in an hour.

You shook your head, "it's fine. I'll just clean up and then go to bed."

Jin stood up behind you and pushed you by your shoulder towards the bedroom.

"I'll do it. You go and sleep."

"But-"

"No buts. You're making me sleepier and it's not even my bed time. I promise I'll clean all this up and go back home."

You shook your head but he didn't hear you at all. He pushed you more and more towards your bed and when you sit on the bed you realize how sleepy and tired you actually were.

He leaned down at your face level, "I promise it'll be spotless. Now sleep."

You had no choice but to sleep. All you remember before falling asleep was Jin.

The next morning when you walked out of the bedroom and into the living room finding it spotless as promised. All the leftover food you ate at night was gone, cups were washed and cleaned, your living room was spotless and on the table were your neatly stacked files and your laptop with a small post-it on top that read "fighting! Have a great day at work."

And amidst all that you notice Jin crashed out on your couch clutching himself so tightly because he didn't even try to cover himself. You shook your head at his carelessness and brought a blanket from your bedroom and covered him with it trying not to disturb his sleep and as you tucked him in you kneeled down before his face.

His eyebrows were knit together and without thinking you ran your finger carefully over his temple, smoothening the muscle without disturbing his sleep. You stayed there, your hand lingering close to his face and his lips turned into a low smile and you wondered what he must be dreaming of to make him smile like that. A soft smile pulls at your face as you watch him sleep soundly. The longer you stare the more you realize that you could look at him just a bit longer and then it dwelt upon you that your heart was fluttering at the sight of your best friend.

You immediately pulled back from him, standing up when you caught erratic thoughts about watching him forever running through your head. You almost hit the table as you fumble backwards reassuring yourself that it was a momentary slip, that it was nothing more.

Seokjin was just your best friend. 

And so you left for the office in a rush, leaving breakfast and a post-it note on the table thanking him for showing up last night and helping you out.

“Hi guys.” Your breath choked as you heard those words slip out from Ha-Yun’s mouth. 

You and Jin shared a look before turning back to Hoseok and Ha-Yun. 

Hoseok also feebly waved, his face holding an apologetic smile. 

Jin sighed but he composed himself much quicker than you, “Guess we’re all going to the beach.” 

Jin had reached out mid week to you and Hoseok about wanting to do a weekend trip together, emotionally manipulating you both about how much he missed spending time with his two closest friends from school and that it was the last time he could enjoy time out before returning to work and so, after a lot of back and forth he had won and it was decided that you’d go to the beach.

As Jin and Ha-Yun were busy keeping bags in the car, you cornered Hoseok "Why would you bring Ha-Yun? You know I'm not on speaking terms with her,” you cornered Hoseok. 

He made a very apologetic face, "I know, I know, I wasn't going to but I met her by accident yesterday and she was in a bad mood, it just slipped out. I'm so sorry Y/n. I promise you won't have to deal with her at all. I'll make sure of it."

You sighed knowing there was no point grilling him anyways. She was going to be there whether you liked it or not even if it meant everything being awkward. Besides, you also knew that Hoseok's intentions were good no matter the result.

And truth be told, Hoseok was the one who introduced you both to Ha-Yun so you couldn't really argue whether he should have chosen to not invite her. They were both great friends, and so were you at one point until a whole argument happened that resulted in a damage that hasn't been fixed yet.

“You think you’ll be okay?” Jin asked before you finally sat in the car. 

You lightly patted his arm and nodded, “Don’t worry about me. It's just one night.” 

What’s the worst that could happen, right?

Turns out a lot. 

As promised by Hoseok, you didn't have to deal with Ha-Yun at all. It was made quite sure because she didn't leave Jin's side at all.

She sat in the passenger seat in the car, next to Jin who was driving. Took the seat next to him during lunch. Talked with him non stop. Stayed next to him in the waters. Stood by his side in all the pictures. It felt like only the two of them had come on the trip while you and Hoseok were absent. So, yes technically she wasn't a bother to you but also she was because you had hoped this trip would be otherwise.

Tired from the beach, you finally sat down on the sheets on the beach, your gaze fixed on all 3 of them laughing, playing in water, swimming even and you couldn't help but smile because despite all of it, this was the most fun you had in a while. It was rare to get chances like these every time because you knew just how much effort each of you put to be here together to commemorate Jin's return.

Not much later Hoseok walked over to you and laid down next to you under the umbrella.

"Why aren't you joining?"

"I did. I'm just tired now. We're not really kids anymore." You sighed. He nodded, agreeing with you. 

After a few moments of silence, he sat upright next to you watching you watch the two in the water.

"Sometimes I do wish we had spent more time together during college." It was a painful revelation that Hoseok made more than often. 

You smiled at him, "I do too but you're here now and being here together is better than nothing at all."

He just smiled back and you both went back to looking at Jin and Ha-Yun who were now walking back towards you both.

"Y/n, come." Jin said as soon as he came back.

You shook your head, "Tired."

"Come on, you weren't even with us long enough."

You still shook your head. Jin frowned. When he realized he wasn't winning you over like that he sat down in front of you on his knees and leaned in to whisper in your ear. Instinctively your breath stops dead in your throat and your hand clutching at the sand. 

"Is it because of her?"

And when he leaned backward you could only notice the strand of hair that dripped a single drop of water down his face. It was unfair how effortlessly Jin still looked put together, as if he was just returning from a shoot.  

"I swear I'm just tired. I'll join you a while later."

Jin had no option but to leave you alone. He found it odd but he chose not to talk about it then.

After having watched the sunset together you all had decided to meet exactly an hour later for dinner at the restaurant Jin chose so here you were, at the restaurant, sitting opposite to Jin because the seat next to him was taken, obviously, by Ha-Yun.

"Jin, do you remember the time when you and I went to that amusement park together in college? How scared I was at the ferris wheel and could not leave you? But we had so much fun. We should absolutely do it again, don't you think?" Ha-Yun asked. This was probably the tenth story of her and him.

Jin nodded, "Absolutely. I've missed out on a lot of civilian stuff- oh nevermind, Y/n gets sick on rides."

You suddenly look up at him from your food.

"We could go together then? Just us two- three of us even." She said,

Jin looked at her quizzically, "We can't leave her out, it's un-"

"Oh no, you guys should. Amusement Parks aren't my thing anyways. You guys should go and have fun someday." You forcefully smiled.

Jin almost looked at you as if he was concerned but before he could even say something Ha-Yun had interrupted already making the plans.

Truth be told, you weren't feeling quite like yourself during the dinner. It was perhaps the tiredness but somehow you just wanted to go back home.

You hear your phone buzz and you open it to check Jin had texted you across the table.

Seokjin: Are you okay?

You just look up at him and smile, nodding.

He didn't buy it but he didn't push you.

"Jin if I remember the last time-"

"Jin, do you want a drink?" Hoseok interrupted whatever Ha-Yun was going to say. You almost laughed, but mentally thanked him for directing the conversation away.

Thanks to him, the rest of the dinner shifted to Hoseok and Jin talking while Ha-Yun chirped only a bit in between. You chose to mostly listen adding only a few things every once in a but mainly concentrating more on your drink and dinner.

"There you are." You heard a familiar voice making you turn away from the beach you took to after dinner.

You turned around to watch Jin walking towards you. You smile and wave at him.

"Been looking for you everywhere."

"I needed a breather. Besides, the sea at night time is the real beauty," You replied back.

Jin caught up next to you, "That you're right about."

When you don't say anything for a while, just walking silently along the beach, Jin asks, "Are you okay?"

You slowed down, turning your face to him, "Why do you ask?"

"You just seemed a little off. Is it because of Ha-Yun?"

You shrugged, "it could be. Was she always this annoying?"

Jin laughed next to you and you smiled.

"Isn't it a bit harsh? She was just enjoying her time."

You rolled your eyes, "Sure yeah. When else can she enjoy sitting next to you, being all over you, asking you to open a bottle of water when she really could have done it on her own. I get it when else is she ever going to have the opportunity of being next to you 24 hours."

Jin turned around walking backwards so he could see you. He was amused at your reaction, "Been keep watching on me, haven't you?"

Thanks to the night he couldn't see the blood rush to your face from embarrassment. You turned your gaze to your feet.

"Haven't. Been watching her."

Jin smirked, "Sure yeah, watching her! Let me ask you something, What colour of top was she wearing?"

You narrowed your eyes at him, "You'd know that better."

Sober you would probably not have answered this but you were tipsy and you felt a little free.

Jin let out an exasperated laugh, "Oh my Y/n, so much jealousy."

You shook your head, "Jealous? Of Her? Never."

But to avoid him you started walking faster but just as your pace picked up, you felt a hand grabbing your wrist, twirling you around and you almost collided into Jin. Your body almost flush against his.

"Passive Aggressive much. You're cute when you're jealous." He was smirking, still. His eyes glimmered with amusement.

Your mouth dries up instantly. Your system shutting down, going to default settings. You shouldn’t be so close to him that you can see that faint freckle on his skin. 

"I'm not jealous." But your voice came out much lower than you had hoped. Much less confident. It was supposed to be a witty response but it had turned into something completely otherwise.

"Then tell me honestly why were you so weird today?" He was being serious now. His eyes strongly gazed into yours.

You look up at him and realize that neither of you had moved an inch since Jin had pulled you into him.

You pulled back from him a little, forming a little distance between the two of you, "I'm not being weird- I'm just tired, really. Work has been exhausting this week and I didn't want to cancel because it's you." It was also partially true.

Jin stepped forward, looking down at your face, closing the distance between you two again, "We could have done this any other time, any other day. You could have told us."

You sighed, turning your face away from him, "It's not that simple." 

"Why is it not? Why Y/n?" He asked with a confused face, almost impatient. He was looking at you with concern, worry and whatever other emotion was settled on his face.

"We won't always have the time.. I won't. Hoseok won't. Didn’t you see how long it took us to match schedules? I love that you're back Jin, finally, I waited 18 months for this. We both waited and I don't want to ruin it by saying some lame excuse that work's been hectic or whatever. I want to be there for you and I want to show it with all the time I have. I don't want to make excuses for you."

It was your honest answer, yes, you never want to make up lame excuses for him, you always wanted to be there for him.

Jin's face relaxed, growing more softer by the second, a small smile tugging at his lips. He took your hand in his own and caressed it mindlessly. 

"You always show up for me, Y/n. I can't  remember a single time when you haven't. I'll never doubt you but I don't want you to feel like you have to make up for lost time. I'm not going anywhere, not anymore. I'm here now. We have all the time in the world."

It was an assurance, a real assurance that he really wasn't but how could you explain everything to him. What about the things you didn't know yourself or rather, things you didn't want to admit.

After a pause he continues, "And about Hoseok not having time, let's be real, I only ever came here for you, so had he said he was busy I still would have come here with you."

You frowned, "for me?"

He nodded, "Do you remember the last thing we were supposed to do before I left for service?"

You nod. You remember clearly that you were going to go camping but you couldn't  because it ended up raining heavily.

"But we couldn't so we ended up drinking at my place instead and you told me that you never liked camping anyways, that you liked beaches more. That's why I wanted to bring us here."

Oh.

"You remembered that?"

His face looked adorable with that small little curve of his smile and an expression that conveyed remembering things about you was the most obvious thing for him, that there could be no doubt about it. He took another step forward towards you, his hand still lingering over yours, "Why wouldn't I? It's you."

And your heart fluttered. Again.

You stay silent for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to say then you hastily turn around and start walking slowly. You heard his footsteps following you.

"I didn't know you remembered that, besides I don't even remember saying that. We could have done something you liked." He was now walking beside you and just for a second your hand brushed against his making you fold your arms across your front.

"Well I like beaches. They're beautiful." You could feel his gaze on you but you didn't know why so you just nodded.

"Plus you've been on enough fishing adventures with me to know that I like the sea," he stated as if it was that obvious. And it was but the truth is, you liked beaches because he did. That is not to say that beaches weren't calm and peaceful and beautiful, it's that when you've been with him for almost all your life, you'd be stupid to not like the sea.

When you both finally reached back to your rooms and were about to enter, Jin turned slightly towards you and said, "I'd be jealous too if someone was all over you too."

You knew he was kidding, he had to but you couldn't help but imagine if he really would be jealous if someone was all over you. He wouldn't though, right?

You shook your head and entered your room calling him an idiot. But till the time you went to bed that was all that you could think of. And you realized your history was repeating itself whether you liked it or not. You had tried denying it but it wasn’t working. This was Jin afterall, nothing stayed buried forever.

As you laid on your bed you thought about everything. You assumed all that distance, all that time away in the military would change something in you but it hasn't, not even a little bit. As soon as he was back you were forced to face the fact that your feelings were still there and today it was confirmed when the mere sigh of Ha-Yun all over Jin bothered you, when at the beach all you wanted was to hold his hands but you didn't, you couldn't.

Everything replayed in your head like a montage, from the moment your heart fluttered for the first time when you were just college students till now. You can't deny it anymore, even if you want to but you know the truth.

You loved Jin. You've probably loved him a lot longer than you know, since you were kids maybe but you didn't know what to call that emotion, thinking you were confused but you knew you cared for Jin a lot differently than you did for others and it could not be simply be sufficed as care for your best friend. But you only ever realized you were truly in love with him when he'd get his heart broken by girls all the time in college and you couldn't help but want to be the one to fix it for him. He was the type to go "all in" in a relationship, he'd do everything right and still somehow got his heartbroken. His love was loud and you knew it but you wished that people would love him loudly, just like he did. Not even how you did in silence but it wasn't your choice, you didn't even know what you felt.

Then suddenly one night after his break up with a girl who cheated on him, he was with you, drinking, wallowing his sadness. You had taken away his bottle but he was still silently crying and you didn't know what to do so you did what you could. You talked to him. You consoled him, you comforted and in that comfort you both had slipped enough to be cozy with each other and in your arms he had spilled the worst of his fears, the pain in his heart and you stayed there for him, with him, holding him and maybe that's why Jin had ended up kissing you that night. In the name of comfort. Because he was in pain. Because he had too much to drink. And you let him. But your heart decided it was love, your naive heart thought it could be more. You could still feel your heart racing every time you thought about that kiss. 

But the next morning he said he didn't remember anything except coming over to your dorm. You swore you'd never bring it up because you knew he remembered. His ears were the deepest shade of red. So you knew he lied, and if he lied that meant he didn't think of you that way, that he didn't feel for you the same way and you decided you'll live with your unrequited love.

Because your love for him was always louder only in silence. Your heart still aches for him, you'd do anything for him but also love him enough to know Jin can never be yours and that's why you choose to protect your heart every time you catch yourself slipping too much into your emotions. He was just your best friend and you can't lose your best friend.

"Y/n, can I talk to you for a moment?" Hoseok said as he helped you pull your luggage down from the car while Jin was taking a short call.

You nodded. Hoseok pulls you further away from the car and Jin and asks, "Where were you and Jin last night?"

"Oh! We were just at the beach, taking a walk. I guess I had too much to drink so I went there for a walk, he found me there."

Hoseok nodded but you frowned, "why do you ask?"

He just shrugged, "I thought finally something happened."

You were more confused now, "What do you mean something happened? What could happen?"

His hands gestured between you and Jin who was still on the call, "Between you two."

"Why would anything happen?" You were genuinely confused if Hoseok knew anything and if he did, how?

Hoseok raised an eyebrow at you, "because you like him.. right? It's pretty obvious."

Your eyes widened, "what do you mean like him? I don't. He's my friend, just like you are."

Hoseok scoffed, "As if. Have you ever seen the way you look at him? I do, all the time. Even on the beach. You still look at him the same way-"

"Y/n, are all your bags out?" Jin interrupted from a distance.

You hastily nodded.

You turned to Hoseok again, "we'll have this conversation later."

He nodded, "I think we need one. I'll see you soon, okay."

With that you bid both of them off and you were left thinking about how long had Hoseok known about your feelings? And worse, if he knew then did Jin know?

"Can I ask you something?" You asked Jin who was mindfully playing a game adjacent to running a code on his PC.

Why were you here? Jin was bored. He had work to do and apparently "working alone is boring, come over." So, here you were in his kitchen getting the ramen.

Jin paused whatever game he was playing and turned around to give full attention to you.

"Go ahead."

You hesitated but you needed a little clarification. Your short conversation with Hoseok was scary enough as is and you had tried talking to Hoseok too many times to count but he was busy with his parents anniversary party and what not, so, you had no choice but to maybe try to ask Jin which was and is as weird as it sounds but it was the only way that you could find a way to relief.

"What do you- and well- Hoseok talk about?" You ask hesitantly.

Jin's eyebrows knit together, "you're almost always there so pretty much that stuff. Why do you ask?"

You no longer leaned against the kitchen counter, standing straighter than before, "what about when I'm not there?"

"Y/n, if you think we bitch about you, you're right, we do." He chuckled, turning around in his chair going back to the PC.

You rolled your eyes at him even though he could not see you, "Come on, I'm genuinely asking. I'm curious."

You heard him sigh as he kept coding, "Y/n, I'm not sure what you're getting at. Did you and Hoseok fight or something?"

You sighed louder, "nevermind I asked-"

"Okay, okay. What do you want to know?" He asked momentarily, turning to you.

You bit your lip rethinking if you should really ask but it's for your own sanity. Right?

You finally ask the figure turned around in his chair again, coding, "Have you guys ever talked about feelings or something?"

Jin's typing completely stopped. The room fell completely silent. Then without turning around he asked, "Why? Do you like Hoseok?"

And you realized how that question must have come across to him.

You immediately walk out of the kitchen and more towards him, "No, no. Absolutely not.. he's just a friend."

And then you heard typing again and for a moment he didn't say anything then he suddenly turned around, "Does Hoseok like someone? Does he like you?"

Your eyebrows knit together at your temple, "What? No. Not that I know. No. Absolutely not. Again we're just friends."

Jin then turned back around almost disappointed, slumping back in his chair.

"Why are you asking all this?" He asked, still focused on the screen.

You just shrugged and then you realized he couldn't see you, "Curiosity. Just wanted to know if you guys talk about feelings and relationships."

Jin let out a chuckle, "Weird curiosity but to answer you, we usually don't. Rarely. Only when we've both been dating but not feelings I gu- Y/n, can you please pass me my phone. It's over there." He pointed near the coffee table and you immediately went to pick it up.

You didn't mean to see but as you unplugged his phone the screen lit up and you saw the top most message from Ha-Yun followed by messages by 4 other girls. You had forgotten how popular Jin can be.

He was still holding out his palm for his phone so you just gave it to him.

"I think you have messages... From her. Ha-Yun."

You see him frown.

"Must be asking about the amusement park thing. How do you think I should tell her I don't want to go?" He had now turned to you, looking up at you, his glasses glowing with the light from the screen.

"Just be honest. Or lie that you're busy."

Jin scrunched his nose then nodded.

"Why do you want to cancel anyway?"

Jin just shrugged, "Amusement Park doesn't sound very old enough of me."

You watched him in amusement, almost laughing out loud, "I can't believe Kim SeokJin is saying that. Too old for amusement parks? As if. If I ask you today to go, you'll be jumping up and agreeing."

He was smiling without looking at you, "do you want to? We can go."

You just shook your head, "I definitely am too old for it."

"Age is just a number, Y/n. You should have a little fun in life." Even though you knew he was being playful, you knew there was some truth in it.

"Do you not like Ha-Yun or something? Is that why you don't want to go.?"

Jin just pouted, shaking his head, "It's not that. She seems nice even though I know you don't think that but she's not that bad. I just don't have the time right now to go anywhere."

You just nodded your head, walking back towards your forgotten Ramen.

Then mildly out of your curiosity and partially because the time at the beach hasn’t left your mind, you ask without turning around, "If you could date Ha-Yun, would you?"

You don't hear a response for a while but when you turn around, Jin has sneaked up on you. You gasped, almost dropping the Ramen from your hands but he held your hand just in time, a lingering touch that you were sure only you felt.

You just stared at him while he kept smiling, the touch of his hands departing, "careful."

He picked up the second bowl of Ramen and chopsticks you had prepared and you followed him, mentally telling your heart to calm down.

"Don't know." He said randomly.

You looked at him quizzically, "don't know what?" You had forgotten you had asked something, completely forgetting it in Jin sneakily coming up behind you and then his hands over yours, and his stare and the look on his face.

He just sat down back on his table while you took the couch, watching him.

"If I would date Ha-Yun. She's good but I don't know if I would. Think I'd need to know her more to know that."

You felt your drop in your chest. It felt like the world was crashing. You should have expected that. Everyone but you. But you don't let it show, as you always have acted.

You don't know why you asked but you made it worse by asking further, "What about anyone else? Dating any of those women who texted you.. the texts were right there."

Jin just turned to you with a comical expression, partially confused, "Why are you suddenly so interested in my dating life?"

You tried to play it cool by shrugging it off, "you're always popular among the ladies. Can't I be curious?"

Jin chuckled at you and turned to you for a moment, "Honestly though, I don't think I want to date right now. Enjoying my return to civilian life too much for that."

Oh.

You should have known it was just going to make it worse but as if you wanted to hurt yourself on purpose you had asked and now you were left with a kind of pain you couldn't describe but a pain that you had grown so familiar with that you didn't even react anymore.

It's not that you were going to tell him anyway but him closing doors on dating inevitably takes your chances away anyway. But it shouldn't matter, right? You weren't going to tell him anyway but his answers still pained you, even if a little.

"But you never know when you might find someone. You might run from it right now but someone might find you." You tell him honestly.

He just shrugged, nodding his head as if whatever you said made sense.

You gaze into your bowl of Ramen with only one thought in your mind, can you deal with this for the rest of your life? Can you watch Jin move on with his life, dating, loving someone while you're always just his best friend? Can you really?

"You might find someone too." He was being hopeful for you, even though you weren't.

"I doubt." You mumbled under your breath and went back to eating as well.

[7:00 pm]

SeokJin: Should I pick you up?

[7:05 pm]

You: I'm running late. You go ahead, I'll take a cab.

[7:06 pm]

SeokJin: Are you sure?

[7:06 pm]

You: 100 percent. Go ahead. I'll see you there.

And then all you receive is a thumbs up.

It was Hoseok's parents 25th Wedding Anniversary and they were throwing a party with all close people involved to celebrate the day and you could not be more glad for them except that you were running late because the dress you were supposed to wear ripped after getting stuck on a pointed corner leaving you with no other option but to wear the black dress that you'd only ever wear to a cocktail party because of its deep back and cleavage but it was all that you could wear last moment so you went ahead with it.

You arrived almost half an hour late to most guests at the party and whether it's fortunate or unfortunate the first person you meet when you enter reach the gate, waiting outside is Jin.

You walk up closer to the gate fixing your dress wherever possible so it didn't reveal much of how conscious you were to wear that dress in a family setting but all your thoughts scrambled when you see Jin wearing a black tux with a red shirt underneath that you were sure nobody could pull off but him because he didn't just look good, he looked every definition of handsome in every dictionary on earth. His hair was slightly longer now, styled, his clothes fitting him just right to appeal his body. You've never seen someone looking that good in such a combination and with such a charismatic aura that made everyone look back at least twice. Loving him for his looks was never on your agenda but you can't help but fall for him more when he pulls up looking like that.

You still reach him, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

"Why are you outside?" You ask as soon as you reach him but there's a weird silence about him. His eyes had not shifted from you from the moment he saw you walking towards the gate.

"You." His voice suddenly sounded much deeper than you've known.

You?

"Me?" Your eyebrows raised.

As if pulled out of a trance, he cleared his throat, his eyes focusing back on your face "I figured you'd be arriving by now, so I thought I'd wait outside."

"Oh. Shall we go inside?" You asked.

He nodded and he held the door open for you.

As you almost reach the gathering you stopped and turned around suddenly making Jin almost collide into you.

"Do you think the dress looks too much?" You asked. You really needed a second opinion but you were concerned if he’d actually give a good opinion considering how distracted he seemed right now. 

His eyebrows raised completely, "What?"

"I asked if you think the dress looks too much. I was going to wear something else but it ripped at the last minute. It's a bit revealing. Do you think it's too much?"

Jin cleared his throat, again, "No- it looks good... In fact, you look really good. We compliment each other."

You frowned, "We do?"

He pointed at your heels.

"They're red, wine more like. It compliments my shirt."

It did. You had forgotten to change your heels actually but you were glad now that you didn't.

"You noticed?" You smile a little to yourself.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I."

But why would he?

"Shall we go?" He smiled at you. You took a deep breath and nodded.

Together you greeted a bunch of people, friends you used to be in touch with, each other's parents, Hoseok's relatives and finally Hoseok and his family.

"Aren't you two a couple?" Hoseok giggled.

You almost spat your drink, coughing and choking on your drink. Jin's hand immediately patted you back, asking if you're okay.

"It just happened." Jin answered for you.

"You two look good-" you pinched Hoseok making him flinch in pain.

"Thankyou for the compliments. Can we meet your parents now?" You asked. Unfortunately you couldn't because the ceremony started unfolding soon and you were forced to take your seats next to your families.

A thing or two happened, then cakes were disturbed and before you knew it, people started scrambling more and more separating you and Jin, so, everytime you looked for him, he was busy talking with somebody new. Talk about an attractive figure at a party.

As everyone got busy with their people, you made your way into the balcony. It's not that you didn't enjoy parties but you didn't know anyone well enough here to talk and the only two people you could talk to were busy so you chose to watch the party from a distance. It was a beautiful gathering you had to agree and Hoseok's parents were probably the most adorable couple you had come across.

You were still focused on the party when you noticed Ha-Yun walking into the balcony almost as if she was coming towards you.

"Hi, Y/n." Oh, she was.

You shifted a little so you were no longer leaning completely against the railing, "Hi Ha-Yun. Haven't seen you since the beach trip."

She nodded, taking a stand next to you, "Been busy."

You nodded because that's all that you could do.

When a long silence fell, Ha-Yun couldn't take it anymore and turned to you, "I'm sorry for not reaching back."

You almost flinched at his suddenness but then a low smile tugged at your face, "Ha-Yun, it's an old thing now. It doesn't matter anymore, we even took a trip together."

You were really just being polite.

She shook her head, "Still. I just- I just feel like I could have been a better friend."

She was a little hesitant so you hold her arm gently, "Ha-Yun, if anything I should have been a better friend. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did back then-"

"but it gave me no right to ask you to leave the party that night. It was extremely rude of me and this past year I've been sitting with this guilt of practically throwing you out of there. I could have been more mature then. I'm so sorry about it." She really did have a guilty face and it was genuine, you knew it. She wasn't a bad person, just a little immature at times.

The reason you stopped talking was because at Ha-Yun’s party more than a year ago you caught her making out with someone who was in a toxic relationship. It was unbearably toxic, you knew it but you didn't like the way Ha-Yun had intervened. You understood her feelings but you called her out for choosing the wrong way to go with it. It had nonetheless fallen apart but she had asked you to leave the party immediately and despite the fact that you had apologised, she hadn't acknowledged it until today.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry too." You smiled at her and hugged her briefly. Things weren't going to go back the way they were but it could start. You both ended up talking for a while about old things, parties, mistakes and everything until you both came to a significant pause in which your eyes had fallen back on Jin talking to yet another person.

"He looks good, doesn't he?" She said suddenly. You couldn't help but agree.

"I had forgotten just how good he looked while he was away. When Hoseok told me he was back, I was so excited to meet him as a friend.."

It looked like she wanted to continue so you asked, "and now?"

She smiled shyly, "Its just- he looks even better now than i remembered and I can't help it, Y/n, he looks too good and he is such a good person for me to not, you know try on him."

You gulped, unsure if you wanted her to go on but you didn't want to seem like a bad, unsupportive friend especially when you had just reunited.

"What's stopping you?"

She looked at you and said, "you think I should try?"

You knew you were going to regret it but you were nobody to hold her back. Just because you can't act on your feelings doesn't mean she has to too.

You nodded, "Go ahead. Never a better time, you even look good."

And before you knew it she was already making her way towards Jin. You kept watching her approach him, her hands lingering over his arms, leaning in just enough to be close to him but not enough to scare him away. You watched them until you couldn't anymore. You wouldn't want to admit it to yourself but it pained you to watch this, it ignited a jealousy in you that you hated, a feeling you had no right over but you felt it nonetheless. How many times has it been that you've seen it happen, with different women? Enough to count on your fingers but always enough to also know you're never in it.

You were watching elsewhere so when Hoseok approached you, you didn't see him until he tapped on your shoulder.

"Lost, are we?" He smiled. You smiled back and he offered you a glass of champagne which you willfully take.

He leaned against the railing next to you, watching you for a moment long enough.

"What?" You ask.

"You seem.. not happy. Is everything okay?" He asked, tilting his head.

You just hummed but then you heard a familiar laughter from the room not far enough. It was Ha-Yun and Jin. Your gaze gets stuck there.

Hoseok followed your vision then sighed, "How long are you going to watch him from a distance?"

You just shook your head gently.

"Come on, Y/n, do you think you can carry on like this? Be honest with me, why haven't you told him yet?" He was curiously looking at your face.

You just passed a sad smile, "For reasons quite obvious. He's my friend Hoseok, I can't risk it."

He let out a frustrated breath, "But you are willing to hide your feelings? Be hurt every time he starts dating someone? Y/n, be a little brave."

Now you were frustrated, "Do you think it's that easy, Hoseok? He's my best friend. Do you think I haven't thought about telling him like 100 times in my head? I have but this scenario always ends in the same way. With him never reciprocating my feelings and ruining years of friendship just because I became infatuated with him years ago."

Hoseok grabbed you and turned you towards him, completely facing him, "Y/n, why do you think it'll all just end like that? You'll never know what his feelings are unless you actually show it to him. You never know how he might react." His voice was a little softer now.

You shook your head again, "I know it will. I've spent more than two decades with him. I know him like the back of my hand. I know where he stands. It's Jin. Girls fawn over him left and right, he doesn't have that kind of thought about me at all."

"Why are you being so negative about it? What is it that other girls have and you don’t? Why can't you just think that maybe, just maybe he feels the same way?" You can't help but look at the hope in his eyes. He had always been the hopeful kind, always the one with optimism. He was like the sunshine in your life but you were a realist. You knew these things sounded better in fantasy, in real life friends lose friendships in a snap of a finger.

"Because I'd rather be hopeless than be hopeful of Jin ever loving me back."

Hoseok wasn't giving up though. He took your hand in his and caressed it gently, "You're allowed to be in love with him Y/n. You're allowed to have feelings for him, to be hopeful of something with him. I know you don't want to have any expectations but tell me honestly, have you never wondered what it would be like to free yourself of these unrequited feelings? Of not being the only one carrying these feelings all these years?"

For once you didn't have a winning argument because honestly you've thought about it more times than you can count.

He stepped a little closer, "I know you don't want to get hurt, hurt him either and it's a big risk telling him how you feel but can you do this forever? Can you always watch him from a distance, always wishing, hoping it were you instead of some other girl? Don't you think you owe it to yourself to be honest about your feelings?"

Why was Hoseok so persuasive? Because you knew you couldn't. You've wondered about it a lot, if you can really be happy watching him from a distance.

"Y/n, it's time you told him now. It's a leap of faith you have to take even if you're scared because one of these days you may really miss your chance and you'll regret it more than losing him."

"What if I really end up losing him, Hoseok? What if I tell him how I feel but we can never go back to the way it was? What if it's a huge mistake?"

Hoseok hummed, nodding his head, "it could be a huge mistake but if he throws away 20 years of your friends just like that then it'll be his fault because you're a wonderful friend to have."

You smiled at him for the compliment. You can't deny, it genuinely felt much lighter to be able to talk to someone about your feelings instead of being suffocated in your suffering.

"You're a wonderful friend too. I genuinely mean it."

"I am quite good, I'm aware." And there was his cockiness that made you laugh.

"But seriously Y/n, you deserve the kind of love with which you've loved him all these years. The reciprocation from him and something tells me it'll all work out."

You couldn't help but chuckle, "What are you? A prophet?"

He just shrugged, raising his eyebrows, "I just have a feeling. Gut feeling, if you will."

"You do realize that 90 percent of the time your gut feeling is wrong?" You joked.

Hoseok placed his hand playfully over his chest as if hurt, "You're cruel."

But you were glad that it made you laugh. You both stood there for a few more minutes talking, Hoseok inquiring when it all started for you and being genuinely surprised that he realized it much later though you told him that you were surprised that he actually found out. 

You kept talking for a bit until Hoseok excused himself to take rounds around the room again, after all he was the host.

When he was gone, his words resonated with you. He was right about almost everything he had said except the part about not knowing how Jin would react because your memory was still scarred from your college days. You know whatever Hoseok said made sense, it really was a leap of faith but you don’t know if this time you placed your heart in his hands, would he turn away from it or embrace it? 

If this time you gave him your heart, would he really take it? 

_______________

¹Imo: refers to aunt in Korean

A/n: certain edits will be underway for any mistakes.

[wildchildtale]

back to december | ksj

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x F!Reader

Genre: friends to lovers; angst with a big capital A; slow burn; mutual pining; angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 7.9K

Summary: You and Seokjin have been best friends for as long as you can remember. The only problem is, you’ve been in love with him for almost as long.

a/n: enjoy this one shot i wrote on a red-eye flight while running on 0 sleep. this is not revised so please be kind! as always, i’d love to hear what you think!!

This is it. Today is the day you decide.

You’re meeting Seokjin at five o’clock at your favourite cafe.

Ever since you were kids, the cafe had been your usual meeting spot. It became your “thing” without either of you ever really meaning for it to. After school, after exams, birthdays, breakups, celebrations, it somehow always ended with the two of you sitting by the window with warm drinks in hands.

You haven’t been there in a while now that you think about it. Life got busy. Work got in the way. Not that it ever really mattered, there was hardly a week that went by without you seeing Seokjin anyway.

You’d been best friends for over a decade. You’d also been hopelessly in love with him for nearly half of it.

No one knows about your little secret. Well, almost no one. Jimin and Ava had clocked your crush on Seokjin long before you ever admitted it out loud.

It probably didn’t help that the four of you shared the same close-knit group of ten, having grown up together through school and university. Jimin and Ava noticed everything. A lingering glance here, a little too much concern there, and eventually they pieced it together on their own. Nothing ever seemed to get past them, especially when it came to you.

The rest of your friends, on the other hand, were hopeless and nowhere near as observant. Hobi and Jungkook could be hit over the head with a confession and still miss it, Namjoon and Yuna could spend an entire evening arguing over something no one else seemed to care about, Mika missed half your get-togethers thanks to her soul-sucking job, and Jackson…his attention span rarely lasted longer than the next pretty girl who walked into the room.

Ava had spent the better part of the last five years trying to convince you to tell Seokjin how you felt. If nothing else, she argued, at least you’d finally get rejected, get over him, and start dating people who were actually available. To her, it was absurd that you’d never been in a relationship.

It’s not like this is the first time you’ve thought about telling Seokjin how you feel. If anything, you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve rehearsed the conversation in your head.

You never liked keeping things from him. He was your best friend. But with every girl he dated, every relationship that came and went, your confidence dwindled a little more.

Seokjin had spent most of his twenties falling in and out of relationships. By twenty-eight, he had dated more women than you could keep track of anymore. Every time Seokjin introduced another girlfriend to the group, you told yourself the same thing: if he was capable of seeing you that way, he would’ve by now. Eventually, you stopped thinking about confessing altogether.

Growing up, you’d always been the quietest one in the group. Unlike Seokjin and the rest of your friends, talking to new people never came naturally to you, and with a close-knit group of friends you loved, meeting someone new felt more daunting than exciting. It also didn’t help that, consciously or not, every man ended up being compared to Seokjin—and none of them ever came close.

But it wasn’t as though you hadn’t tried.

You’d gone on three dates in the span of a month during your senior year, only to fail an anatomy exam shortly afterwards. Irrational as it was, you couldn’t shake the feeling that the two were somehow connected. You broke things off with the guy, convinced yourself dating was a distraction, and promised you’d revisit the idea once you’d gotten into med school.

Then you got in. After that, there was always another exam, another placement, another reason to tell yourself there’d be time later. Before you knew it, years had passed.

There was another reason too.

For the first time in years, Seokjin had been single for more than six months, and no matter how much you tried to dismiss it, a small part of you couldn’t help wondering if this was your chance.

Maybe you were reading too much into things. Maybe Ava was right and you’d started seeing what you wanted to see. But over the past few months, something between the two of you had shifted.

At least, it felt like it had. The lingering touches that neither of you seemed in a hurry to pull away from, the late-night phone calls, the way he’d stop by the hospital after your shifts just to take you home. None of it was enough to mean anything on its own, but together, they were just enough to make you wonder if maybe he felt it too.

Jimin certainly seemed to think so. You could almost hear his voice in your head, insisting—for what felt like the hundredth time—that friends didn’t look at each other the way Seokjin looked at you.

Or maybe you were simply finding meaning where there wasn’t any. Either way, you couldn’t keep wondering forever.

So today, you’re finally going to tell Seokjin how you feel.

You’d spent far longer than you’d like to admit getting ready. After changing outfits three times, you’d eventually settled on the pink dress he’d once absentmindedly mentioned looked good on you, pairing it with a warm ivory wool coat to keep out the winter chill. Your hair had taken nearly an hour to curl, and you’d redone your makeup twice before finally convincing yourself to stop fussing over it.

The familiar chime above the café door greeted you as you stepped inside. It didn’t take long to find him.

He was already waiting by the window, one hand wrapped around a mug while the other lazily scrolled through his phon. He looked up the moment you walked in, your heart stuttering when your eyes met for a brief second. You would’ve thought that after spending more than a decade around him, you’d be immune to it by now.

He looked as handsome as ever.

A cream cashmere sweater hung loosely over his frame, making him look softer than usual, almost impossibly warm against the snow falling beyond the window. His dark hair had fallen over his forehead in loose, slightly messy strands, and for a minute, all you could think about was how badly you wanted to brush them back into place.

You took a slow breath, willing your heartbeat to settle, before making your way over to him.

“Did you order for me?” you asked, slipping off your coat as you settled into the seat across from him.

“Course,” he said from behind his mug. “It should be here in a minute.” His eyes flickered over your face. “Long day?”

You resisted the urge to sigh. So much for spending over an hour doing your hair and makeup. No amount of concealer seemed capable of hiding the exhaustion that had taken up permanent residence behind your eyes. Between back-to-back shifts, you could barely remember the last time you’d managed a full night’s sleep.

“When is it not?” you rolled your eyes, reaching for the mug just as the server set it down in front of you.

Seokjin offered you a knowing look but didn’t probe further. He knew better than anyone how gruelling your shifts had become.

“Taehyung’s back, by the way.”

You almost spat out your hot chocolate. It took you a second to recover before you hurriedly set your mug back on the table.

“What!?”

It had been over five years since you’d last seen Taehyung. Seokjin’s younger brother was barely two years younger than him, same age as you, and the three of you had practically grown up together before he’d left for the UK to study law.

“Why are you only telling me this now?” You frowned. “We met few days ago and you didn’t say a word.”

“I don’t know.” Seokjin reached up to rub the back of his neck before letting out a small laugh. “Just forgot, I guess.”

You narrowed your eyes, studying him for a moment. Something was definitely up with him. He’s been acting….strange.

Now that you thought about it, Seokjin had been unusually fidgety ever since you’d walked in. Even now, his knee bounced lightly beneath the table while his fingers idly traced the handle of his mug. He’d also been a little distant, in his head, the last time you’d met too. You hadn’t thought much of it then, but looking at him now, you weren’t so sure.

“What are you hiding from me, Kim Seokjin?” You squinted at him.

“What?” He let out a forced laugh. “N-Nothing, lol, why would I hide something from you?”

You held his gaze for another second, searching his face for any sign that he’d crack. There it was again, that restless look he’d been wearing ever since you’d walked in. The tips of his ears growing redder by the second.

It couldn’t be.

…Could it? Your pulse picked up despite yourself. You willed yourself to calm down, but still couldn’t stop the flutter of butterflies in your stomach.

“You’ve got something to tell me, don’t you?” you pressed.

“Well… yes…” he muttered. His eyes widening as though he’d only just realised what he’d said.

He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck yet again. “I mean… yes, but you said you wanted to tell me something important first. I don’t want to make this about me.”

“Seokjin,” you laughed, “There’s no way you’re going to make it through whatever I have to say. You already look like you’re about to explode. Just go first.”

Seokjin reached across the table and took your hands in his, gently clasping them between his own. The warmth of his palms against yours sent your heart into overdrive, raising goosebumps all across your skin.

“I think…I think I’ve found the love of my life, Bug!”

Your breath caught, heart pounding so hard it drowned out the noise of the café around you.

“W-What?” you managed, your voice barely above a whisper. “Who?”

“I know how crazy this is going to sound,” he said, a grin spreading across his face. “I know you’re probably going to tell me I’ve completely lost it, but you have to believe me.” He gave your hands an excited squeeze.

“I’ve only known her for four months. We’ve only been together for two.” He let out another disbelieving laugh, almost shaking his head at himself. “But I swear, Bug….she’s the one.”

His eyes lit up in a way you’d never seen before.

“I already want to marry her.” He laughed again, looking equal parts embarrassed and exhilarated. “Can you believe that? Me? Wanting to propose?”

“Oh…” was all you could manage before forcing yourself to swallow around the lump in your throat. “That’s… that’s amazing, I am so happy for you, Seokjin!”

Seokjin beamed at you, and you found yourself looking away for a fraction of a second.

You then smiled wide, squeezing his hands in return.

Somehow, you managed to keep your face from giving anything away, even as every word that left his mouth seemed to settle like lead in your chest. The butterflies that had been fluttering only moments ago were dead now, replaced by a hollow ache spreading quietly through your chest.

“Her name’s Mia!” He couldn’t stop smiling. “You’d love her.”

You swallowed, forcing yourself to smile back before clearing your throat.

“How come you never brought her to our hangouts?” you prayed your voice sounded steadier than you felt.

His smile faltered ever so slightly.

“I wanted to. I just…” He paused, searching for the right words. “Guess I didn’t want to rush it this time.”

His eyes drifted to the window as he smiled to himself.

“I’ve introduced people to you guys before, but this is different. This time… I wanted to wait until I knew.”

You looked down at your hands. At some point during his explanation, he’d let go of them. You hadn’t even noticed.

You drew them back into your lap, rubbing your palms absently against the fabric of your dress. They felt cold.

“I wanted you to meet her before I introduced her to everyone else.” His smile softened. “You’re my best friend, Bug. You should be the first person to meet the love of my life.”

Your eyes lifted from your lap to his face.

The love of my life.

In all the years you’d known Seokjin, in all the girlfriends that had come and gon, you’d never once heard him speak about someone like that.

You could almost hear something shatter inside you. You’d imagined a hundred different endings for the feelings you’d carried for him, but never this one. It had never crossed your mind that, when it finally happened, you’d be sitting right across from him, listening to him tell you about the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

You opened your mouth, wanting to say something—anything—but the words wouldn’t come. Your throat felt impossibly tight.

Before you could think of a response, Seokjin’s attention drifted over your shoulder. His entire face lit up.

“There she is.”

He was on his feet before you had the chance to turn around.

You followed his line of sight, twisting in your chair just as someone stopped beside your table. You looked up.

She was beautiful.

You didn’t need an introduction to know who she was. Not when Seokjin was looking at her like she hung the stars in the night sky.

He was already pulling out the empty chair beside him.

Mia smiled shyly before thanking him under her breath. She had a softness about her that was impossible to miss. Delicate features, warm eyes, and a pretty smile that made you feel instantly at ease. You understood exactly why Seokjin had fallen for her.

The moment she settled into the chair, Seokjin reached for her hand on the table, lacing their fingers together.

“Bug,” he said, unable to hide the grin stretching across his face, “this is Mia.”

Then he turned to her. “Mia, this is Bug. My best friend.”

Mia offered you a small smile. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

You smiled back, but it was hard not to notice the way her eyes darted between you and Seokjin. Her shoulders were just a little tense, her smile a little uncertain. She looked every bit as nervous as Seokjin had been a few minutes ago.

You weren’t about to make this meeting any harder than it already was. You just had to hold it together for a little while longer. Then you could go home, crawl into bed, and cry your heart out in private.

“Only good things, I hope,” you finally said, sending Seokjin a mock glare.

Seokjin laughed, immediately catching on.

“Nothing but good things.” He lifted both hands innocently. “Didn’t want to scare her away before she even met you.”

Mia smiled, relaxing a little.

“I’m sorry for tagging along today,” Mia said with a sheepish smile. “I kept pestering him to introduce us.”

“Hey don’t apologise. It’s nice to finally put a face to all the stories too.”

The words had barely left your mouth before Seokjin choked on his drink, coughing into his fist.

You couldn’t help but laugh. He shot you an exasperated look as he reached for his glass of water.

The three of you talked for another fifteen minutes, though you couldn’t remember a word of what was said.

You were halfway through the story about how they’d met when your pager went off. For the first time in your life, you’d never been happier to hear that sound.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, already reaching for your coat. “Duty calls.”

“You have to go now? You’ve barely been here for an hour?” Seokjin frowned.

You nodded apologetically as you stood. “Looks like it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Mia said quickly. “It was really nice meeting you.”

“You too.” You managed a smile before turning back to Seokjin. “We’ll catch up another time?”

He stood to hug you goodbye, and for a brief moment, you let yourself melt into the familiar embrace, “Get home safe,” he said.

You nodded, unable to trust your voice, before hurrying out into the cold.

The next ten hours passed in a blur of patients and emergencies. For once, you were grateful for the relentless pace that didn’t allow you to think.

It wasn’t until you finally unlocked the door to your apartment, sometime after midnight, that the events of the day caught up to you. You made it as far as the couch when your phone buzzed.

You didn’t even have to open the chat to know who it was and what they were asking.

Jimin:

??

WELL?????

DONT LEAVE ME HANGING.

Asecond later it buzzed again.

Ava:

Tell us EVERYTHING.

Then another. You stared at the screen until the words blurred together.

Jimin:

If he hurt you, I’m going to fight him!

Ava:

Do I need to break a few bones?

A laugh escaped you which soon turned into a sob.

You curled up on the couch, pulling your knees to your chest and burying your face against them. You cried until your head throbbed and your eyes stung, mourning something you’d never even had.

It was over, whatever “it” was.

There was nothing left to misunderstand. No hidden meaning to search for. No “what ifs” to cling to. As unbearable as it felt, this was the end of the story you’d been writing in your head.

Seokjin had found the love of his life.

And if you didn’t let him go now, you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to. So you told yourself you could grieve and cry as much as you needed to tonight.

But comes morning, you would try.

You would try to move on. You would try to let him go. You know it wouldn’t be easy, and it certainly wouldn’t happen overnight, but you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself anymore.

Loving him had become far more painful than not having him.

You laughed as Jackson attempted to down a shot with some ridiculous flourish, only to send half of it straight into Namjoon’s lap.

“What the—”

Namjoon shot to his feet while Jackson doubled over laughing, already apologising between gasps. The rest of the booth erupted into laughter.

The club was louder than usual tonight. Your entire friend group had turned up to celebrate Jimin’s birthday and Seokjin and Mia’s engagement, everyone squeezed into the private booth you’d booked weeks ago.

You sat wedged between Ava and Hobi, drink in hand, listening to them passionately debate whether cereal counted as soup while you tried—and failed—not to laugh.

Your attention drifted across the booth just as Seokjin leaned closer to Mia to whisper something in her ear. She laughed, nudged his shoulder, and he smiled before brushing a quick kiss against her lips.

You quickly averted your eyes, focusing instead on the drink in your hand.

Eight months later, it still hadn’t gotten any easier.

As you reached for another drink, your eyes met Jimin’s across the booth. He’d gone quiet, watching you with that same knowing look he’d been wearing a lot lately.

You offered him a small smile, hoping to reassure him that you were okay.

But you weren’t. You both knew it.

Moving on had turned out to be far easier said than done. How were you supposed to let go when the love of your life was still such a constant part of yours? When every group dinner, every birthday, every celebration meant sitting across from him and his lover, pretending you weren’t breaking your own heart?

Some days, you almost convinced yourself you were getting there.

Then you’d see him smile at Mia with a tenderness in his eyes that was only ever reserved for her, and it felt like you were right back where you’d start.

You thought the café had been the hardest part. You were wrong.

The hardest part had been the evening he’d shown up at your apartment, grinning from ear to ear, asking if you’d help him plan the perfect proposal for Mia. He’d trusted you with every detail—the ring, the location, even the speech.

Your vision had blurred before you’d even realised you were crying. Seokjin had looked at you in concern, you’d only smiled, blamed it on being emotional, and told him they were happy tears. Told him you couldn’t have imagined anyone more perfect for him than Mia. And that was hardly a lie.

Mia was kind, thoughtful, endlessly patient, and loved Seokjin with a sincerity you could see every time she looked at him. If there was anyone in the world who deserved his heart, it was her.

It wasn’t until he walked out your front door that you realised you’d underestimated just how deeply you loved him. You’d always known you were in love with Seokjin. You just hadn’t known it was possible to hurt that much and still wake up the next morning with your heart somehow continuing to beat.

That night, after Seokjin left, you made yourself a promise.

You would help him plan the proposal. It would be the last thing you ever did for him before you finally distanced yourself for good.

Because you knew it now.

You couldn’t keep living like this. If you ever wanted to move on, Seokjin couldn’t keep being a part of your life. Atleast, not until you could look at him without your heart breaking.

So you threw yourself into the planning. You helped him narrow down the ring, visited venues with him, argued over flowers, coordinated with friends and family, and cheered for him through every milestone that brought him one step closer to spending the rest of his life with someone else.

If there was one thing you were grateful for, it was that you hadn’t had to carry it alone. Jimin and Ava had been there every step of the way, patiently listening whenever you needed to talk and pretending not to notice whenever you didn’t. Lately, even Jungkook seemed to understand, his eyes lingering on you whenever they thought you weren’t looking. Still, you’d like to think you’d done a decent enough job pretending you were okay.

The proposal had gone exactly as he’d dreamed it would.

Mia had cried the moment he got down on one knee. She’d thrown her arms around you afterwards, thanking you over and over through happy tears for helping Seokjin pull off the perfect surprise.

You’d hugged her back just as tightly. Strangely enough, you hadn’t cried despite the sharp, relentless ache that had settled in your chest.

You were pulled from your thoughts by Jimin, who was standing a few feet away wearing the most absurd pout imaginable, making grabby hands at you until you finally laughed.

“Come on!”

Before you could protest, he’d dragged you into an impromptu shot competition against Taehyung and Yoona. Your friends erupted into cheers as you all knocked your glasses back, and you couldn’t help but giggle when Taehyung immediately screwed his face up in disgust, dramatically clutching his throat.

Soon enough, you found yourself on the dance floor.

The alcohol buzzed warmly through your body, quieting your thoughts for the first time all evening, and giving you a brief reprieve from the heaviness you’d been carrying around for months.

You found a stranger pressing against your back and, instead of instinctively stepping away like you usually would, you found yourself leaning into him, your arms swaying above your head as the music pulsed through the club.

His hands settled on your waist, guiding your hips with his, and for a brief moment you let yourself get lost in it.

Soon they wandered lower, slipping beyond your waist as his lips brushed far too close to your neck. The pleasant haze of alcohol vanished all at once, replaced by a sudden wave of nausea.

You tried to pull away, but his arms only tightened around your waist.

“Don’t be so difficult, baby,” he whispered into your ear.

“No, get away from me!” you said firmly, trying to pry his hands off you. When he didn’t budge, you twisted harder, your hand coming up to shove him away.

Before you could, another voice cut through the music.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

The stranger’s hands dropped from your waist as you turned around, only to find Seokjin standing there, his jaw tight, entire body taut, and eyes fixed on the man in front of him.

The man muttered something under his breath before disappearing back into the crowd. Seokjin immediately turned back to you. His eyes scanned over you, checking for any sign that you were hurt.

“Are you okay, Bug?” he asked, stepping closer as his hand gently wrapped around your wrist.

You nodded, but the concern in his voice and the soft look in his eyes made your eyes sting.

Seokjin frowned. “Did he hurt you?”

You tried to answer, but your throat tightened before you could get the words out. The tears you’d been holding back finally slipped free, and you quickly looked away, embarrassed by how easily you were falling apart in front of him.

Without a word, Seokjin pulled you into his arms.

It caught you so off guard that you almost forgot to breathe.

For one selfish moment, you let yourself melt into him, your fingers instinctively clutching the back of his shirt as fresh tears slipped down your cheeks.

“Hey,” he murmured, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. “Talk to me, Bug. What happened?”

You shook your head, unable to answer straight away. All you could do was cling to him, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne. He was too close. God, you’d missed this. You’d missed him.

You swallowed hard and gently pulled away from the hug, hastily wiping at the corners of your eyes with your fingertips.

“N-nothing,” you managed, forcing out a small chuckle. “I think… the shots are getting to me.”

You laughed again, louder this time, hoping it sounded convincing.

“You know how I get,” you said, rolling your eyes. “I’m such a sappy drunk crier.”

Seokjin still didn’t look convinced. There was something in the way he looked at you that made it difficult to hold his gaze.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was instead interrupted by Jungkook.

“Seokjin, Mia’s looking for you,” he said, glancing towards the bar. “She’s…pretty gone, man.”

You suddenly swayed slightly on your feet, the alcohol finally catching up to you.

Both Seokjin and Jungkook reached for you instinctively, but Jungkook was a step closer, his arm coming around your waist before you could lose your balance completely.

“Easy,” he murmured, steadying you. He looked up at Seokjin. “I’ve got her. I’ll take her home, you go check on Mia.”

Something flickered across Seokjin’s face so quickly you couldn’t make sense of it. Your eyes caught his for a brief second before they dropped to Jungkook’s arm around your waist, then found you again.

He gave a slow nod.

“Text me when you get home,” he said quietly, gaze lingering on you.

You let Jungkook lead you away, resisting the urge to look back.

Once you made it back to your friends, the four of you called it a night. The ride home was spent apologising to Jimin over and over for ruining his birthday and making everyone leave early.

“You didn’t ruin anything,” he said for what felt like the tenth time before leaning over to kiss your forehead. “You’re going to be okay.”

Next thing you knew, the three of them had pulled you into a group hug.

It lasted all of thirty seconds before you groaned.

“Okay, that’s enough. You’re all sweaty.”

Jungkook laughed as you shoved them off, and just like that, the heaviness eased, if only a little.

The four of you ended up eating instant ramen around your kitchen counter well past midnight, laughing over one of Jungkook’s ridiculous stories until your stomach hurt.

The ache in your chest was still there. It probably would be for a while. But looking at the people who had refused to leave your side, you realised you weren’t doing this alone.

Maybe moving on wouldn’t be as impossible as it had seemed. You found yourself believing, for the first time in a long time, that one day, you’d get there.

You’d just stepped out of surgery when your phone started ringing non-stop in the pocket of your scrubs.

For a moment you considered letting it ring out. When it started buzzing again less than a minute later, you sighed and finally answered.

“What is it, Jungkook?” you asked, unable to hide the exhaustion in your voice.

“Wow,” he gasped dramatically. “Not even a hello? That’s no way to greet a cute guy.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Kookie,” you said tiredly, pinching the bridge of your nose as you continued walking down the corridors. “I’m busy. I have another surgery in 30, and I haven’t really gotten the time to eat anything all day. If this isn’t an emergency, I am ending this call now.”

He let out an exaggerated whine before his voice softened.

“Seokjin called me. He wanted to know if you’ll be at his birthday dinner tonight.”

Your steps faltered.

Three months ago, Seokjin would’ve called you himself. A year ago, he wouldn’t even have had to ask if you’d be coming at all. But a lot had changed since then.

You’d begun finding reasons not to see him, first by showing up late, then by cancelling plans at the last minute, replying to his messages hours later until hours became days. Work had become the perfect excuse, and you’d hidden behind it every chance you got. Eventually, you stopped going to the group’s hangouts too lest you see him.

Jimin, Ava and Jungkook had never questioned it. They knew you weren’t doing it because you wanted to lose Seokjin’s friendship. You were doing it to protect your heart and well because you didn’t know how else to let him go.

The rest of your friends had accepted your explanation without much thought. Since becoming a junior resident, your hours had only gotten longer, and missing dinners or weekend plans had become almost expected.

You still saw Jimin, Ava and Jungkook whenever you could, and caught up with everyone else separately whenever your schedules happened to line up.

Everyone except Seokjin.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him. Three months ago, maybe. It was the longest the two of you had gone without seeing each other, and as much as it had hurt in the beginning, you’d like to think the distance had done what you’d hoped it would. The sharp pain in your chest had softened into a dull one, and most days, you could make it through without thinking about him at all.

“…Are you there? Hello?”

You blinked, pulling yourself back to the present.

“Yeah, I’m here.” You glanced at the clock on the wall. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it. I’ve got a night shift today,” you lied.

“I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later, okay?”

It was half past one, when you finally made it back to your apartment, exhaustion weighing down every step, only to stop short at the sight waiting for you.

Seokjin was sitting on the front steps, elbows resting on his knees, his phone loose in one hand.

Your stomach dropped.

Before he could notice you, you quickly ducked behind the brick wall at the corner of the entrance, your heart pounding as you tried to figure out what on earth he was doing there.

Your phone buzzed again. It was a text from Seokjin. The last message you’d sent him had been a simple happy birthday, seokjin. and Everything after that was him.

Seokjin:

4:51 You’re coming tonight, right?

8:59 Bug?

1:30 Call me when you’re free?

Your phone rang again. Seokjin’s name flashed across the screen. This time, you answered.

“…Bug.”

The relief in Seokjin’s voice was unmistakable. From where you stood, hidden just around the corner, you watched his shoulders sag as he lowered his head.

“H-hey,” you replied quietly.

“I didn’t think you’d pick up.”

His words came out slightly slurred, and you frowned.

He was drunk.

Your eyes drifted back to where he was sitting on the steps outside your building, and a fresh wave of worry settled over you. How had he gotten here? Had he driven? You hoped not.

“Seokjin, are you drunk?”

The line fell quiet for a few seconds then a quiet laugh escaped him, the sound soft and a little uneven.

You sighed, rubbing your forehead.

“How much have you had to drink?”

He didn’t answer your question. You You watched him drag a hand wearily across his face before letting it fall back into his lap. For a long moment, he simply sat there staring at the pavement.

“I miss you,” he said at last, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your grip tightened around your phone.

You willed yourself not to let those three words undo four months of trying. Not to step out from behind the wall and run to him the way every part of you still wanted to.

Instead, you took a deep breath.

“Seokjin…”

“I know you’ve been avoiding me.”

You looked at him instinctively. His brows drew together ever so slightly, and there was a hurt in his eyes that made it difficult to keep looking at him.

“I’m just busy.”

“Don’t,” he snapped. “Don’t fucking do that, Bug.”

He let out a frustrated breath.

“I’m so tired of hearing that. Every time I call, every time I ask to see you, every time I try to make plans, it’s always I’m busy.” His laugh was short and hollow. “Do you really think I can’t tell when someone’s trying to avoid me?”

He fell quiet for a moment before speaking again, his voice losing some of its edge.

“I spent weeks telling myself that was all it was. That residency was kicking your ass, that you were exhausted, that if I just gave you enough time, we’d go back to the way we were.” He shook his head, eyes fixed on the pavement. “But we haven’t, have we?”

The words landed like a punch to your gut, and all you could do was stand there in silence, your phone pressed to your ear as your eyes began to sting.

“D-Did I do something?” he asked after a long silence, the anger draining from his voice as quickly as it had appeared. “Because if I did…” He swallowed, lowering his head for a moment. “Just tell me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. Every instinct in you screamed to run to him, console him, to tell him none of this was his fault.

Because it wasn’t. It had never been.

“You didn’t,” you whispered, your voice catching. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Then what is it? Bug, tell me?”

You opened your mouth, but no words came. How were you supposed to tell him that the worst thing he’d ever done to you was fall in love with someone else?

That none of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t fallen in love with your best friend first? You swallowed hard, but before you could force yourself to speak, Seokjin continued.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore,” he admitted with a shaky breath. “I don’t know how to get you to talk to me.”

“You’re drunk,” you said softly. “Let’s… let’s talk when you’re sober, go home, get some sleep, okay?”

He was quiet for so long you thought he’d hung up.

“Mia and I broke up.”

Your breath caught.

“….You what?”

He let out a short tired chuckle before the call disconnected. You stood there frozen, his words echoing in your head long after the call had ended. He broke up with Mia? It didn’t make sense. As far as you knew, they were happy. He loved her. Hell, he was marrying her in two months.

When did it happen? Why hadn’t anyone told you? Your mind raced through the past few days, trying to remember if Jimin or Ava had ever let something slip.

You heard some movement and peeked around the wall to find Seokjin staring down at his phone, pressing the power button a few times before letting out a quiet sigh. It must’ve died.

He stayed on the steps for another few minutes before pushing himself to his feet. His steps were a little unsteady, but he was otherwise fine. You watched him make his way to the curb and hail a cab.

Two days later, you woke up with one decision already made.

Whatever had happened between Seokjin and Mia had nothing to do with you.

It didn’t change anything. It didn’t change why you’d walked away in the first place, and it certainly didn’t change the fact that Seokjin wasn’t yours to have.

And as much as it had hurt, you’d made peace with that.

You couldn’t keep waiting for someone who was never going to choose you. So, two weeks ago, you’d gone on your first date in years.

His name was Yoongi, a fellow resident you’d grown unexpectedly close to over the past few months. You were friends first, often grabbing dinner after long shifts or sitting together in the residents’ lounge until one of you got paged away. One evening, as he walked you to your car after work, he’d asked you out.

And you’d said yes. It was easy with him. Comfortable.

You were moving on.

So if Seokjin needed his best friend right now, then that’s exactly what you’d be. And if he was hurting, then you’d be there for him.

You owed him that much. You’d call him tonight.

That evening, you found yourself perched on a barstool in your kitchen, watching him stir a pan of pasta while insisting—for the hundredth time—that his recipe would want you to marry him.

“You’re setting yourself up for failure,” you tutted, resting your chin in your palm. “There’s no way it’s that good.”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” he replied without looking up. “Five more minutes, and you’ll be apologising and proposing to me.”

It turned out Yoongi hadn’t been exaggerating.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you said around another bite, looking at him in disbelief. “This is… ridiculously good.”

He tried to hide it, but you caught the smug grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“I know.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your own smile.

As the two of you cleared the table, Yoongi reached across for your plate at the same time you did. The sleeve of his glass caught the edge of the sauce container, sending a splash of red hot liquid straight down the front of his shirt.

“Oh, shit.”

You looked over, immediately grabbing a napkin from the table.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, looking down at his shirt with a sigh, “Guess this shirt’s had a good run.”

“Go take a shower. I’ll find you something to wear.”

“Are you sure?”

You scoffed and gave him a nod. Soon Yoongi disappeared into the bathroom while you walked into your bedroom and pulled one of your oversized hoodies from the wardrobe, laying it neatly on the bed for him.

Just as you turned to leave, the doorbell rang.

“That’ll be dessert,” Yoongi called out from the washroom.

“I’ll get it.”

You walked to the front door instead, already reaching for your wallet as you unlocked it.

The smile fell from your face.

Seokjin stood on the other side.

--————————————————————————

“Seokjin..”

Seokjin stood there, dressed in a black coat, his hair slightly disheveled. The bags under his eyes were impossible to miss, and he looked like he hadn’t slept properly in days.

“Hi, Bug.” He gave you a small sad smile

For a moment, you could only stare at him.

“Seokjin… what are you doing here?” you asked slowly.

Instead of answering, Seokjin glanced past you.

“Can I come inside?”

You hesitated for a second before stepping aside, letting him enter. You closed the door behind you, following him inside.

But the second you reached the hallway, Seokjin suddenly turned around.

His eyes met yours.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He said moving closer to you.

Your breath hitched, the question catching you off guard. There was nowhere to look, nowhere to hide behind an excuse. You stood there pinned under his gaze, unable to find the words.

You were saved from having to answer when the bathroom door opened and Yoongi stepped out, dressed in your oversized hoodie, his hair still damp.

“Y/N, I’ll have to leave now,” Yoongi said as he stepped into the hallway, his eyes still on his phone. “There’s an emergency.”

He looked up mid-step and paused when he saw Seokjin.

The sudden movement gave you a second to breathe.

“Y-Yoongi,” you said, quickly pulling yourself together. “This is Seokjin.”

Yoongi looked between the two of you before giving him a polite nod. He knew about Seokjin. Not everything, but enough. He knew there was history there, knew Seokjin had been your best friend for years, and knew why things between the two of you had become complicated.

“Nice to finally meet you.”

Seokjin returned the gesture, though his expression remained unreadable

Yoongi turned back to you, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

You watched him leave, the door closing behind him before you slowly turned back.

Seokjin was still looking at you.

“So, is he your boyfriend?” Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” he continued, his words coming sharper now. “Because you were too busy playing house with your boyfriend?”

You blinked at him before letting out a disbelieving scoff. You couldn’t make sense of where this was coming from. Of all the conversations you’d imagined having with Seokjin tonight, this wasn’t one of them.

“No, he isn’t. And so what if he was?” you asked, folding your arms across your chest.

Seokjin held your gaze for a second before looking away, his jaw still tense.

When he looked back at you, the anger seemed to drain out of him.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Seokjin—” You stepped closer, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“No, let me finish.”

He ran a hand over his face before looking at you again.

“I’ve been trying so hard to understand why I’ve been feeling like this. Mia & I both knew things hadn’t been right for a while. But I couldn’t figure out what it was. I kept telling myself it’d pass, that it was just a rough patch. It didn’t.”

He looked away for a moment.

“We were not happy. And I knew she deserved someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved.”

You stared at him, your heart hammering against your ribs.

“…Seokjin,” You searched his face, trying to make sense of what you were hearing. “What are you saying?

“I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. “I just know I care about you, Bug.”

He stepped closer, his hand hovering beside your face for a brief second before it settled against your cheek.

“More than a friend should,” he whispered again. He rested his forehead against yours.

You were still staring at him, your eyes wide, trying to understand what had just happened, when Seokjin reached for your hands with trembling fingers and held them between his.

“I’m sorry for being such a dumb, stupid idiot.” His voice cracked as he looked down at your hands. “For taking this long to realise.”

Your eyes burned, and before you could stop it, a tear slipped free. You blinked once, then again, but it was no use. The tears came anyway, rolling silently down your cheeks until a quiet sob caught in your throat.

You hadn’t cried over him in months.

Seokjin’s eyes widened.

“Bug…”

He wiped at your cheek with his thumb before giving up entirely. Instead, he pulled you into his arms, wrapping them around you. You buried your face against his shoulder as another sob escaped you, your fingers curling into the front of his coat.

“I missed you so much, Seokjin,” you cried into his shoulder, your voice cracking. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

He held you a little tighter.

“Then why?” he asked softly against your hair. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“B-Because…” Your breath hitched, the words catching in your throat. “Because I couldn’t do it anymore.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, tears still streaming down your face.

“I wanted you to be happy,” you said, your breath still uneven. “I really did.”

You let out a small, watery laugh, shaking your head, “But I couldn’t listen to you talk about Mia anymore. I couldn’t keep showing up, pretending I was okay. If I was ever going to move on, I knew I had to stay away from you.”

You wiped at your face with the back of your hand.

“But you have to believe me… I really was happy for you. I liked Mia. I really did. I thought she was good for you, and every time I saw how happy you were with her, a part of me was relieved because… that’s all I’d ever wanted for you.”

“What do you mean… move on?” Seokjin asked, his brows knitting together.

You stared at him through blurry eyes.

God, he really was so stupid.

A laugh escaped you through your tears.

“You’re so stupid”

“I know,” he replied, the corner of his mouth lifting.

Before you could say anything else, he leaned in and pressed a soft fleeting kiss against your cheek.

You froze, your eyes widening.

Heat rushed to your face so quickly you were certain you must’ve turned bright red. Judging by the way Seokjin’s smile only widened, you knew you had.

“Shut up!” You glared at Seokjin.

“I would… but this is a crimson opportunity,” Seokjin said with a perfectly straight face.

You groaned, but a smile found its way onto your face anyway.

“I can’t believe I fell in love with you,” you muttered. “Ugh.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened, and for once he seemed to have no clever reply. His mouth opened, then closed again, colour spreading slowly across his face, reaching the tips of his ears.

Now, it was his turn to turn red.

[btstrueblue]

Half A Heart | chapter 03

Pairing: Seokjin x reader

Genre: idol!seokjin, author!reader, age gap romance (9 years), slow burn, angst, eventual smut (future chapters). MDNI.

missed chapter 2? click here to catch up

warnings: Nothing.

A/N: I've decided to stop writing a summary for each chapter, as I feel it borderlines giving a spoiler. But I will continue to put a link to the previous chapter, if someone needs to catch up. I loved writing this chapter and I hope you guys love reading it. Any feedback is much appreciated, thank you! <3

The cursor on the screen blinked in front of you mockingly. Writer's block can be such a bitch. You know that this definitely not an original experience, but nonetheless, it doesn't make the situation any less frustrating.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

You closed the laptop. You walked to your bedroom and opened the small box situated in your closet.

Your diary. You were not one to be writing daily entries in your diary. You wish you were because it would be good to keep those memories and have something to look back on when you are older. But after several attempts, you settled with writing in your diary whenever you want.

There could be gap of days, weeks, even years between each entry.

But it was honest.

So, you flip through the pages. In hopes to find some type of inspiration that could spark even a sentence. But you found that majority of the entries appear to be from your past relationship.

The contents were all annoyingly happy.

Back when you thought things would never turn sour.

But it did.

You don't want to open that door.

You snap the diary shut in frustration.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

You shoved the diary away and leaned against the wall.

Deciding that you've been alone with your thoughts for far too long, you grabbed you phone and dialled your best friend. Thankfully, he picked up on the first ring.

"Well," came the familiar voice, "this is either wonderful news or you're spiralling."

"I'm spiralling."

"I knew it. You only call instead of texting when you are entering emotional RED ALERT."

You laughed despite yourself.

"I'm trying to write."

"And?" He asked, voice hopeful.

"Nothing. I thought I'd look through my diary for inspiration." You said, looking at the diary on the floor.

"Well?"

"It's all about him."

A sympathetic hum.

"I mean all about him. Apparently past me had no personality outside being emotionally compromised."

He sighed dramatically, "Oh, I remember past you."

"I just. . . I'm tired of every creative thought somehow leading back here."

"I know."

"And now I can't write because all I can think about is how much I can't write."

"Babes, you need to get away from your laptop."

"That's the thing though, I can't. I already spent so much time just going for a run, going to a cafe, watching Netflix. I need to start actually doing some work."

You failed to mention about spending the other late night with Seokjin. Well, you haven't mentioned him at all to Elliot. He knew that you met up with your mother's old college friend. But you never told him about the part where you met Kim Seokjin.

You never kept secrets from your best friend. But you felt like this was one of those cases where you had to. Not that Elliot was the kind of person that will babble about it to someone else, but you felt. . . protective somehow.

"_______, this ins't a deadline problem." Elliot said.

"What is it then?"

"It's a you problem."

"Helpful."

"No, listen." His voice softened, "Whenever your brain gets noisy, you always try to to force it into behaving."

"Because I have things to do."

What's even worse than trying to be productive is forcing the productivity to happen. It is one of the things you've quickly learned since starting your writing career. You thought as you moved through your career, it wouldn't happen as much anymore. You were wrong.

"And it responds by staging a full-scale rebellion."

You couldn't argue with that.

"So," he continued, "I am prescribing carbohydrates."

"I'm sorry?" You arched your eyebrow.

"You're going to bake."

You groaned.

"I'm serious."

"I don't want to bake."

"You never want to bake."

"No."

You had a small inkling Elliot was going to suggest this. He knows you far too well. You bake when you are entering the territory of an emotional thunderstorm. Not that you were talented at baking in any sense, but it somehow worked to keep your mind fixated on something else.

"You aggressively whisk things for forty minutes."

"I do not aggressively whisk," You said, rather defensively.

"You once beat butter so violently your mixer started smoking."

"That happened one time!"

"It was memorable."

You smiled.

"I don't even know what I'd make."

It was the truth. You would rotated between the three top recipes. Brownies, a banana cake, and a scone. But you also knew that you were just making an excuse to not do the baking.

It was a love-hate relationship.

Unfortunately, Elliot wasn't just another friend of yours. He is your best friend. A role that came with extra details that he knew about you.

"I've anticipated this objection."

A notification buzzed on your phone. You glanced down. It appeared to be a link with the title being:

Brown Butter Pistachio & Dark Chocolate Cookies.

"Before you ask, yes they are worth the emotional labour. Also they're impossible to cry elegantly while making because you'll be too busy trying not to burn the butter."

You laughed at that.

"I hate that you know me so well."

He scoffed jokingly, "Of course I do."

"Now go and bake them. I expect photo evidence." He said in a sing-song voice.

"Okay, fine. Goodbye Elliot."

"Love you too, babes."

The phone call ends.

The bakery aisle, was in your opinion, unnecessarily intimidating.

There were six different kinds of flour, three kinds of sugar you've never heard of, and so much chocolate.

You frowned at your phone.

Brown Butter Pistachio & Dark Chocolate Cookies.

Pure vanilla extract.

You looked at the tiny amber bottle you held in one hand.

Than the imitation vanilla on the shelf.

The price difference was offensive.

"I refuse to believe four Korean won tastes that different." You muttered to yourself.

"You'd be surprised."

The voice came from beside you.

Low. Oddly familiar.

You turned.

". . . You've got to be kidding."

Seokjin looked just as surprised to see you, though it lasted barely a second before the corner of his mouth lifted.

"I was about to say the same thing."

For a moment, neither of you moved.

It was ridiculous, really.

Three meetings in just a span of a week couldn't possibly be normal. Unless the universe had an oddly specific sense of humour.

After meeting Kim Seokjin for the first time, you honestly thought it was just a polite exchange and rarely would you see him again. But you were wrong because he had your umbrella, which prompted the second meeting. The meeting that turned into a late night conversation that rolled into midnight. You were surprised how natural the conversation flowed, thankful that Seokjin mainly lead the conversation. He made you feel relaxed, you became less nervous and before you knew it, you were both speaking to each other lightly and joking.

Seokjin, on the other hand, felt that there was a tiny robot inside his brain that took control of him. He didn't cross a boundary, of course not. But that late night conversation with you, he did let his guard down and found himself joking around with you. Every time he would try to take a step back, he found himself doing the exact opposite, taking a step forward.

He enjoyed your company. He thought to himself that it is only a conversation. A harmless one. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But now here you are again. He entered the grocery store with the aim to find ingredients for a meal to cook for Hobi, and he was almost at the counter. Almost.

But then he saw you at the aisle. And his feet moved before his brain could process his actions.

Your gaze dropped to the basket hanging from his arm.

"You grocery shop." You said, as if a matter-of-factly.

Seokjin looked down as though checking for himself.

"I do."

"I honestly thought someone else did it for you." You joked.

Seokjin chuckled and shook his head, "My mother would never forgive me."

You smiled at that.

There it was again. Seokjin feeling like he has no control over himself, just by a simple action from you.

"Really?"

"She firmly believes choosing your own produce builds character."

"Valid point."

He chuckled, the sound quieter than you expected.

It was softer.

It suited him.

Seokjin's eyes drifted back to the bottles you were choosing from.

"You were about to buy imitation vanilla."

"I was about to save four Korean won."

Seokjin pretends to think, hand under his chin, "It tastes like disappointed."

"You've tasted disappointment?" You raised an eyebrow at him.

He simply shrugged, "I've baked with imitation vanilla."

You couldn't help but smile.

"That wasn't my question, Mr. Seokjin."

Say my name again, please. Seokjin thought. He wanted to mentally slap himself, because where the hell did that thought come from?

"No," He reached over, plucked the bottle of pure vanilla from your hand and examined the label, "but it was the safer answer."

Before you could protest, Seokjin dropped it gently into your basket.

"There."

You looked down.

"You just volunteered four Korean won of my money."

"I did."

"Very generous of you."

Seokjin grinned, "Well, I have strong opinions about vanilla."

"I can see that."

You pulled the cheaper bottle and swapped them.

"I'm still buying this one."

Seokjin watched the exchange with an expression that hovered somewhere between amusement and resignation.

"I respect your commitment, Miss ______."

You figured that you liked when he says your name. There's a sudden rush. A thrill. It felt like the most satisfying sound.

"To saving money?"

"To being wrong."

You laughed.

He should leave.

That thought occurred to him almost immediately. Echoed at the back of his mind as the conversation went on.

He found everything he was looking for.

There was no reason to be standing in the baking aisle discussing vanilla.

And yet. . .

Seokjin stayed.

You tucked your phone into your pocket before looking at him.

Neither of you suggested that you continue shopping together.

It simply. . . just happened.

Seokjin wandered toward the produce, and somehow you found herself drifting the same way, comparing herbs while he debated between two bunches or parsley as though the decision carried international significance.

You rolled your eyes when he inspected the tomatoes one by one.

"Auntie Kim would approve," You muttered.

Without looking up, Seokjin replied, "She'd say I'm rushing."

You laughed and kept walking.

The conversation ebbed and flowed after that, filling the spaces between the aisles as naturally as the music filtering through the supermarket speakers. You spoke about inconsequential things. The impossible number of pasta shapes, the fact that supermarket carts ways seemed to have one defective wheel, whether coriander deserved the hatred it received online.

At one point, you rounded the corner looking for pistachios.

A minute later, Seokjjin rounded the same corner looking for parmesan.

You both looked at each other.

"You followed me."

"I was about to accuse you of the same thing."

"I'm buying nuts."

"I'm buying cheese."

"That sounded stranger out loud." Seokjin said.

"It really did."

You shook your head, smiling, and continued down the aisle.

Seokjin found himself smiling too.

Luckily, there was barely any people in the supermarket. You could count all in one hand. It made you think that is probably why Seokjin was comfortable shopping around, there was a small likelihood of someone invading his privacy. He also had a baseball cap on, along with the face mask.

It struck him, for the first time, how uncomplicated you were to be around.

No expectation. No careful filtering of every sentence. No wondering whether you wanted a photograph or a story to tell someone later.

You spoke to him the same way you'd probably speak to the elderly man choosing avocados two aisles over.

It shouldn't have been remarkable.

But it was.

And Seokjin can feel himself slipping.

Seokjin reminded himself, very firmly, that enjoying someone's company wasn't the same thing as wanting more.

It certainly wasn't with you.

It couldn't be.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd spent forty minutes in a supermarket without once looking at the time.

Somewhere between flour and sugar, you stopped shopping with real urgency.

Every few minutes one of you would notice something ridiculous. A novelty kitchen gadget, an unnecessarily expensive olive oil, a child passionately negotiating for chocolate cereal. The other would inevitably be drawn into the conversation.

It was. . . easy.

Disarmingly so.

You caught yourself wondering if Seokjin was always like this. He frowned at onions because they all looked too identical. The way he muttered to himself when he forget what he'd come down an aisle for.

For someone whose face regularly appeared on billboards, Seokjin had an almost surprising talent for making himself blend into the background.

It suited him.

The sliding doors of the supermarket opened as you exited.

Rain crashed against the pavement beyond the entrance.

Definitely not a gentle drizzle. No, this looked like the start of havoc.

A woman hurried inside, umbrella turning inside out behind her.

"Well." You said.

Lightning flashed across the distance. A second later came the rumble of thunder.

You sighed.

"You don't have an umbrella?" Seokjin asked, looking at you.

How ironic.

"I do. But I left it hanging by my front door."

Seokjin shook his head in mock disapproval, "After I went through all that effort to return it to you, Miss ______."

You gave him a look. You stopped yourself from mentioning that the real reason you forgot the umbrella was because you were in a rush to escape the flood of memories. All brought to you by the pages of your diary. But he does not need to know that.

Surprisingly, you even forgot about that for the past forty minutes. Forgot all about the diary entries. Only remembering them just now.

Unfortunately, the rain showed no sign of easing. Not anytime soon.

Seokjin hesitated. Just for a moment.

"I live. . " He gestured vaguely across the road, "About three minutes from here."

You looked at him.

Seokjin immediately wished he'd worded it differently. Not because he regretted saying it. But because he suddenly became very aware of how it sounded.

He cleared his throat, his ears turning a shade pink in embarrassment.

"If you're comfortable with it," He said, "you're welcome to wait there until the rain lets up."

You studied him for a beat.

There wasn't the slightest hint to expectation in his expression. You didn't feel he was in anyway suggesting something else.

Just a simple offer.

You glanced back outside. The rain had somehow become even heavier.

"Your friend wouldn't mind?" You asked, remmebring how he explained he was shopping for ingredients to cook a meal for his friend who's visiting.

"I'm not cooking until later."

"And you're sure?"

That is a broad question, trust me. Seokjin thought to himself.

"I'm sure."

A corner of her mouth lifted.

"I feel like accepting a stranger's invitation home is generally considered bad practice."

He smiled.

"I'd agree. But our mothers would probably be offended if we stood here getting stranded instead."

A laugh escaped you.

"That's probably true."

Seokjin relaxed almost imperceptibly.

"So?"

She looked at the rain one last time before exhaling through a smile.

"Okay."

[fatehelpdesk]

Parking Lot Prophet - Chapter 5

Title: Parking Lot Prophet

Pairing: KSJ x Female Reader

Rating: M

Summary: Do the reasons behind the time loop matter once it's been broken?

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Ao3 Link

[1204moon]

Forever Star - KSJ

♥ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: After being the only person in your office to work an all nighter, you return to your desk after getting breakfast to a sweet note and a cup of coffee. Refusing to believe that anyone would love you again after a bad breakup, you don’t take the note seriously at all… until more start showing up and your mind starts spinning trying to figure out the person who left them all, not knowing it’s the only person you’ve allowed yourself to glance at in years. ♥ pairing: Kim Seokjin x fem!reader ♥ Genre: angst ⋆ fluff (mostly fluff) ⋆ smut eventually ♥ Word Count: 3.6k for part 1 ♥ Part: 1/? ⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: Office Romance, No use of Y/N for MC, MC has self esteem issues, Seokjin is whipped and a hopeless romantic, Cute secret admirer notes, MC is experiencing financial abuse from her family, emotionally abusive unnamed ex boyfriend, sweet Seokjin, MC overworks herself to the point of fainting, MC heals her trauma with help from Seokjin, eventual smut, two people helplessly in love, Seokjin may ruin all other men for you

♥ A/N: This is my first published fic in a very long time. I hope you all enjoy and are looking forward to the next part. If you like and want to be added to the tag list please send me an ask ♥ This first chapter is only a taste of how much more i've written for this fic, but let me know what you think ♥

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ Stretching your arms, your eyes scanned to the bottom right hand corner of your work computer. 2:34 AM, a sight that has been common for you for years, in which you had no intention of stopping, not when the opportunity for promotion was up on the table. Though this had become the normal for you, now was not the time for you to suddenly quit, not you had to do everything in your power to show your hard work. Your competition was a man far more charismatic and lively than you, life clearly not sucking the soul out of him like it had you. He was lucky to not have to be here at two in the morning, but you were determined, so you found yourself working extreme overtime to show your devotion to the job, or as far as the company you worked for was aware. The promotion hardly mattered to you, but the opportunity to pay your family debt away was what really mattered. Your dad had gambled away your parents retirement and put your childhood home on the line when you were 16 years old. It’s been twelve years since then, and at 28 you were almost through the daunting amount of debt. Your boss described the sign on bonus as “life changing.”

If that meant you worked from the moment you woke up, to the moment you fell asleep for the minimal amount of hours required for your body to not shut down, then that’s what you would do. You needed this so you could live again. You knew you couldn’t live like this forever. The same family you worked tirelessly for bugging you about marriage and kids when you didn’t even have time to sleep. That’s why no matter what it took, you needed this promotion. You had been working tirelessly from 16 years old, studying and working part time until college was over, and then you worked overtime at your low tier office job, because any job was money you could make, and with unlimited overtime you had managed to eliminate about 80% of the debt in the six years since starting this job.

You don’t know how once upon a time you had squeezed romance between all this, but perhaps that’s why it ended.

Most people would go home by now and leave the seemingly endless work for tomorrow, but you didn’t, instead sliding your chair out from under your desk and making your way to the makeshift office kitchen. When you work for such a large company, there’s always some data that needs to be entered somewhere, some spreadsheet needing to be fixed, some math error. You figured the more your name was on things the better. Brewing yourself a cup of coffee on the Kurieg, you waited for your coffee to brew as you did the mental math in your head; if you completed an all nighter today, at 6:00 PM you could clock out and sleep your weekend away, enough to give you that renewed energy to pull you into the next work week and keep this cycle going.

As you moved back to your desk with your cup of coffee in hand, you continued to work into the early hours of the morning. Your coworkers shuffling into the office, mummering “good morning” to each other, blissfully unaware that you were still wearing the same clothes that you were yesterday, that your eye makeup was slightly melted, or that your eyes were clearly blood shot from lack of sleep. No one exactly talked to you, but you didn’t make yourself approachable either. After college you had realized that if you stopped texing people first, if you weren’t the first to say good morning that they would never speak to you again. Watching everyone you knew fade out of your life strengthened your resolve to double down on work.

Sliding out of your seat, you made your way to the vending machine to pick yourself up some breakfast, whatever the cheapest protein bar was stocked today would be your fuel to keep you alert until lunch time, maybe some coffee too, but you’re not too sure if you should have anymore after consuming coffee all night.

You passed by promotion your rival on the way, looking way too cheery for first thing in the morning, he was smiling and laughing with everyone in the office in a way that looked unreal for first thing in the morning. He even flashed you a bright and wide smile as you walked past him. You didn’t return it, not because you didn’t intend to, but because you were so tired that before you could process his smile, he was gone. Sometimes you wished you could be like him, you were envious of someone who could smile that easily, who could look so incredible first thing in the morning. You would be lying if you said you weren't attracted to the man, you had eyes, and anyone who laid eyes on Kim Seokjin knew how dangerous he was to look at. Sometimes you wondered if he was a siren set to draw people in. That same draw though is why your brain can’t comprehend talking to him, he probably thinks you hate him or something. Maybe that’s for the better than ever admitting your school girl crush on the man when you didn’t even have time for yourself, besides, according to your ex: you were unapproachable, lacked any charm, and in his words, completely boring.

You didn’t need to look in the mirror to know this, to see this fact yourself. When your ex told you this, it had stung but you knew he was right. There was no point in denying it when you had no idea who you were anymore. Your ex leaving was unsurprising when you had become a shell of a woman, someone completely unlovable. You knew it, and he knew it too. You wished you could be the woman he wanted of you, someone deserving of love. You wanted it so bad. To feel. To love.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

Making your way back to your desk, sad protein breakfast bar in hand, you noticed a pink sticky note placed on your keyboard. You raised your eyebrow as you approached your desk. Picking up the pink sticky note, there was text written on it with handwriting you didn’t recognize, not like you would recognize anyone’s handwriting, anyways, but that’s beyond the point. The words on the sticky note made you furrow your brow, looking up to scan the room, to see if anyone was looking at you, but no one was, and that confused you further. Shaking your head to try to wake yourself up, you scan the note again trying to make sense on what you were reading.

“For as long as I exist, you are loved and cared for ♥”

You scanned your eyes over the sentence several times, refusing to believe that this could possibly be real and not a joke. Your brain was short circuiting in a way it hasn’t for a long time. Heat obviously and clearly spread over your cheeks as you pressed the back of your hand to them to test the temperature, your suspicions confirmed at the temperature of your now rosy cheeks. What didn’t cross your mind was that whoever left the note could probably see how much you were affected, if you didn’t sleep deprive yourself, you may have conducted yourself more tactfully. Holding the note in your hand, you slid back down to your desk, opening the top drawer and placing the note neatly on the top of the stack of papers sitting in there.

Right now it was hard to believe that something like that was real, let alone for you. The words of your ex hung over your head like a dark cloud. “Boring. Unlovable. Shell of a woman.”

You slumped back in your chair. It was clearly meant for someone else. A thick foggy rain cloud hung over your head for the rest of the day, you felt stupid for even believing for a second that was for you. As your body graced your apartment, you allowed tears to slip from your eyes, slowly trailing down your face as the door shut behind you. Fuck, the feeling of love and being loved was something you dearly missed. If it wasn’t for the fact that you had pulled an all nighter before you would fall into the gentle embrace of slumber, but through quiet sobs you showered yourself until you were satisfied enough. With wet hair and cheeks, you cradled your body to sleep.

You didn’t know how a simple note could affect you so much, but fuck, it did.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

By the time you had woke up, it had been a full 17 hours, now noon on Saturday, and the streets of the vast city outside of your window were bustling and busy. You had laid in bed for a moment, scanning the bare walls of your bedroom as you thought about your day ahead, guilt pinging your heart subconsciously for sleeping so long. If you had gotten up earlier you may have been able to look for a part time job for the day, but you couldn’t, and you didn’t know what to do. Your mind went back to that note as you stared at the ceiling of your bedroom, and all you could think about how you wished that was for you. Despite your situation, the one thing you knew about yourself anymore was how much of a hopeless romantic you once were. Honestly, you were not really sure what went wrong with your ex, even though you thought everything was going well he started to call you bland and boring. It was easy to bury yourself in work after that, to focus on paying down the family debt you had.

Since it was too late to bury yourself in work today, you were not sure what to even do with yourself. You know what you used to enjoy, perhaps giving something that you used to enjoy a go wouldn’t be a bad idea, right?

You stared at the blank walls in your apartment. The place you shared with your ex used to be filled with your personality, your chosen art and decor filling the house. When you split, you didn’t take those memories with you, deeming them too painful to deal with at the time. This apartment felt less like home and more like a place to sleep. What was the point of decorating a space that didn’t feel like home?

Pushing the blanket off your body, you walked over to your dresser and scanned over your clothes. Most of them unworn for years at this point, but you did notice your running vest in the corner of your top drawer, and that decided it for you. So you went on a run, a long winded run by your local lake, like you used to before your life turned what it was now, before you buried yourself in work to forget. The run started normal, feeling the wind under your feet again after a long time feeling freeing, your heart feeling lighter.

This was a feeling you missed deeply. However as you ran further your breathing started to destabilize. Fuck, you could feel panic settling over your body as you ran harder and faster than your body and mind could coordinate. Every emotion you had suppressed over the past few years was finally coming to fruition in this very moment.

Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, you had dropped to your knees, your chest heavy as you held it with the palm of your hand. You needed to stablize your breathing, you needed to-

“_?” A familiar voice called out to you, one you only heard in passing, one associated with a smile you would only allow yourself to take glimpses at when he wasn’t looking. You blinked your teary eyes a few times, clearing the water from your vision as you looked up at Seokjin, still on your knees from your panic attack.

“Seokjin?” your voice cracked as you spoke his name for the first time out loud in months. Speaking out, you said probably the dumbest thing you could in the moment, your brain still trying to process your surroundings.

“Are you okay, Seokjin?”

He wasn’t sure if he should be happy that you knew his name or not, at least in this scenario. He swallowed the spit that he had in his mouth before replying back to you.

“I feel like I should be asking you that more, _.”

For the first time since meeting him, his voice didn’t carry the usual sing songy, happy go lucky tone that it normally did. He was either upset or was concerned, and you were not sure which one you would prefer, or if you were reading entirely too much into this.

“I’m fine” you quipped out, an obvious lie, one you at least at the time thought to be believable. Standing up, you brushed off your knees, clearing what little dirt was on the sidewalk off your skin. “It was uh, nice seeing you Seokjin” you softly spoke out, going to bow politely and turning the other direction. You didn’t make it very far though before the world started to spin around you, and you felt your body drop in the grass people sighing around you as the world went dark.

When you wake up again, the bright florescent light of the hospital graced your vision and you instantly shot up, your features settling into a panic as you observed your surroundings. Tender fingers touched your shoulder and you looked to your side to see familiar long brown locks and tender eyes looking at you.

“Please lay down, I’ll tell the doc you’re awake” Seokjin softly pleaded with you. Sighing, you agreed and laid back down as he pressed the button on the remote of your bed. “How long have I—” you asked, unable to complete your sentence. “It’s only been a few hours” he responded to you. The doctor knocked on the door and allowed himself into the room.

“You’re lucky this young gentleman was able to bring you in fast” the doctor spoke to you seriously as your eyes widened at the fact Seokjin was the one who brought you here. Your coworker who you had a semi crush on but also couldn’t bring yourself to talk to this entire time. Your thoughts were spinning out of control already, the machine beeping quicker behind you as your blood pressure was spiking from overthinking.

“Your cortisol levels are extremely concerning, miss _. You’re malnourished, dehydrated, and your body is showing physical signs of you not sleeping.”

You cringed internally at the doctors brutal words, wishing that Seokjin was not in the room and had to hear the most venerable parts of your life. You could feel his soft brown eyes on you, concern riddling his features as the doctor continued.

“You need to rest, miss _ I recommend taking a few days off of work to rest, recover, and allow your body the time it needs, but if you do that, you will be fine”

Both relief and panic simultaneously washed over your features as you started doing math in your head to see if you could take the time off the doctor said and still pay off the loan sharks coming after your family in time. The answer to that was no. There was no way, but you knew how this went and knew you had to put on your most convincing smile and tell the doctor that yes you would rest, which the doctor seemed to take and told you that he would get you discharged momentarily. As the doctor left the room you could see Seokjin’s eyes burning towards you, and his face had a hardened expression you had never seen before.

“I know you didn’t go home Thursday night” he said to you bluntly, which caused your eyebrows to furrow in return. You didn’t deny it as you replied back, there was no need to lie when he already knew the truth “It was necessary” was all that you could speak out, not wanting to spill your entire life’s shame to Seokjin, the coworker which you blew off and never spoke to you again until today.

“Why were you crying?” he asked softly, which caused you to completely evade eye contact with him. You didn’t know what, or if you should say something at all, but something deep within your chest walls hurt and the pain you were holding in was threatening to spill over once again. “Life is not kind” was all you could muster out to him, feeling a deep sense of shame that you had let your coworker see you like this of all people. If it was a stranger you could at least make sure you never saw them again, a luxury you didn’t have when it came to the man with long brown hair.

You were expecting him to ask more, but he didn’t. He let out a small sigh as his eyes raked over your form in the hospital bed. “I’m responsible to take you home, but I won’t make you tell me anything you don’t want. Just please eat your meals and don’t work all nighters again. I know we are competing for a promotion, but… not like this, please _.” He pleaded with you before continuing.

“I won’t compete with someone who’s going to kill themselves over it, I’ll tell the director I’m out.”

Your eyes shot up, looking at him like a deer caught in headlights.

“Wait Seokjin— no!”

You were surprised at yourself for nearly yelling, your voice hadn’t projected like that in a long time, you were not even sure you still had it in you until this moment. “Listen… I’ll take care of myself just please don’t tell anyone about this, I’ll stop working over nighters, I’ll compete with you fairly… just keep this between us, okay?”

Your eyes were watering again, tears threating to spill out in front of Seokjin for the second time today. You never intended for him to feel guilty, the ripple effect of your actions hitting you all at once. All you could think of is how pathetic you probably looked in this moment. Much to your surprise, however he nodded, agreeing with you.

“That’s better” he said with one of his signature smiles he sported at work “don’t worry we’ll still fight over that promotion, I won’t let you get away that easy” he said with a wink which caused you to let out a chuckle, smiling softly to yourself, a small kick of your feet as they hung off the hospital bed.

Seokjin smiled back at you, his heart swelling, filling up as he saw you smile genuinely for the first time that you met him, even more so that he was the one that made you smile. He was absolutely, completely, going to throw his head into his pillow and scream a little when he got home. He needed to keep his composure and act like you didn’t fill every thought in his mind. Getting you to smile would be the fuel to keep him going for a long time. As the doctor headed in and handed you your discharge paperwork, you thanked the doctor and was on your way out of the hospital.

Seokjin drove you home in a comfortable silence, neither of you feeling the need to fill the void as he hummed to the soft rock playing from his car radio. Despite you insisting that he didn’t need to, he walked you up to your apartment, and made sure the door was locked before heading back to his car. As he slid into the drivers seat, he held his hand over his heart, the stammering part of his body ready to burst. He was fucked, completely and utterly in love with his coworker who barely looked at him. He had been from the moment he saw you. He felt drawn to you at first, attempting to strike up a conversation just to see your pretty eyes, and yet you didn’t seem interested not just romantically, but in any sort of friendship at all, so he gave you the much needed space it was clear you desired, because liking you from far away was enough for him.

Today changed his mind, his last conversation with his parents replaying in his mind

“Seokjinah, you’re 33 and you have a low level job and are seeing no one. When our friends brag about their sons it’s hard to listen to.”

He set his chopsticks down, looking at them deeply offended.

“I have someone I like Eomma” he simply responded, but his mother was quick to quip back “You’ve been saying that since you were in college, always in love but never with a lover”

He shook the memory as he looked back up from his car to your window. Today made him realize that space wasn’t what you needed, what you needed was for him to like you closely yet distanced at the same time; you just needed time to get to know people and to trust them. The way you giggled and kicked your feet in the hospital at so much as a joke and a wink proved as much to him.

He knew as he looked to your apartment window that his mother was right. This time he would do something about his constant unrequited crushes. He had already left you one note at work, so he came up with a plan to be in your mind while keeping the distance you needed. Sticky notes and a pen would be his feelings for now, he would fill your desk with all his unspoken love until your heart was full. ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

[twelveohfour]

twelveohfour's drabble challenge! ˖.𖤓 ݁٠☀︎˖˚⋆

i'm trying to improve my writing and try out new ideas/themes. i've seen other writers do these and i figured there's no better way to practice writing than with a drabble challenge!!

divider from anitalenia!

how it works

send me an ask with a prompt from one of the lists below and i'll write a drabble/short fic (<2-3k words) for it:

smut: 1, 2, 3

fluff: 1, 2, 3

angst: 1, 2, 3

if you want a specific dynamic or au with your prompt, feel free to specify; ex.: enemies to lovers, soulmates, medical, royalty, etc. you can even combine an idea from the fluff or angst lists with something from the smut list, it's totally up to you!

once a prompt has been requested, i'll take it off the list.

if you request something from the fluff or angst lists, you can specify whether you want there to be smut in it or not. if not specifically included in the request, there won't be smut in requests for prompts from the fluff/angst lists alone.

my regular rules for requesting still apply: i'm not a very fast writer so idk how long the drabble may take to come out, there are certain things i won't write about, and i will only be writing for seokjin

so, an example request might look like: "#10 from angst list 2" (won't have smut since it wasn't asked for), "last hurrah from smut list 3 with royalty au", "#4 from fluff list 3 with #2 from smut list 1", etc.

all requests are intended to be standalone, but if a finished drabble inspires me i'm open to continuing it as its own fic

all works will be tagged as '1204dc' if you want to follow along with the challenge!

requests will remain open probably until early august, or for as long as people are still interested and requesting! send as many or as few as you want. i'm looking forward to seeing (and writing) what you come up with 👩‍🍳

[bebabido]

meeting this seokjin on a hot summer day, being seduced by watching him sip some cold drink while his adams apple bobs and he sweats profusely

[bebabido]

having nasty sweaty wet disgusting and degrading sex with him i dont even care

[riaarivic]

The Space Between Us - Kim Seokjin (BTS Jin) x You - PART 3

🍞 Pairing: Idol!Jin (Kim Seokjin) x Baker-Wife!Reader

The thing about caramel is that it looks perfect a full thirty seconds before it tips. Your husband, Kim Seokjin showed up to your bakery at 11:53PM on a Tuesday and the way he had his mouth on your neck against your own prep table told you everything you needed to know.

Fifteen years knowing him. Ten years together. Four years married. A house always full of food and laughter and Jungkook eating everything that isn't nailed down. Two people stupidly, completely in love — and somehow, without naming it, falling just slightly out of reach of each other.

🍞 Genres: Established Relationship, Smut (married and trying for a baby, do the math), Angst with a Lot of Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Endurance Romance, Found Family, Trying-to-conceive storyline handled with heart, He is obsessed with his wife and it shows, Two stupidly stubborn people learning to ask for help, Kim Seokjin and his laugh (yes that is a genre), Jungkook ate everything in their fridge again

🍞 "Ten years and they still can't keep their hands off each other. The problem isn't the love. It never was." 🍞 Chapter list: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 ⚠️TW: this chapter centers around miscarriage, marriage issues, and miscommunication. if this triggers you in any way, please read at your discretion.

🖤 THE B-SIDE SERIES MASTERLIST

The isomalt cracked.

Again.

You set down the scraper. Looked at the crack. Didn't pick it back up.

It was the third attempt this morning and it was barely six AM and the bakery was empty and quiet — just you and the low hum of the ovens and the specific, terrible stillness of a space that was waiting for the day to start while you were still somewhere inside a night that hadn't ended yet.

You had driven here straight from the house.

Not because you had planned to. Not because there was work that couldn't wait — there was work, there was always work, the event was in eight days and the centerpiece still wasn't right and the wedding catering brief was due by Friday, but that wasn't why you were here at six in the morning with flour on your wrists and your eyes still raw from crying alone in a living room while your husband walked out the door.

You were here because the alternative was going back upstairs. Back to the room that still smelled like him — his cologne, the warmth of him, the specific combination that had meant home to you for ten years — and lying down on sheets that were cold on his side, in a house where Jungkook was asleep down the hall, oblivious and snoring, and Jin was somewhere in the city with his armor back on getting ready to stand in front of cameras and perform like four in the morning hadn't happened.

Like the living room floor hadn't happened. Like he hadn't said there's everything to fix and then walked out the door and left you standing alone in the dark with all of it.

He had given you his entire broken heart and then left.

And you weren't angry. That was the thing — you kept waiting to feel angry, kept looking for it the way you'd look for a light switch in a dark room, because angry would have been easier. Angry would have given you something to do with your hands. But it wasn't there. There was just the grief of it, sitting in you like something waterlogged and heavy, and the quiet, and the particular loneliness of being the person someone loves completely and still leaves.

So you had come here.

And you had started the isomalt because your hands needed something and because the centerpiece still needed to be right and because you had spent your entire adult life solving things you could solve when the things you couldn't were too large to look at directly.

And it had cracked three times more.

You looked at it now — the clean line down the middle, the two halves sitting slightly apart, the thing that was supposed to be beautiful broken on the marble in the grey early light — and something settled in you. Something that was not defeat exactly, and not peace exactly, but something in between. Something that felt like finally seeing what had been in front of you the whole time.

Maybe I've been trying to fix the wrong thing.

Not the isomalt. Not even the centerpiece.

The whole approach — the picking up and trying again, the adjusting the temperature, the telling yourself that this time if you just got it right, if you just controlled the variables carefully enough, it would hold. You had been standing here for hours doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and the truth, the actual truth, was that some things didn't crack because the technique was wrong. Some things cracked because they needed something different entirely. Because what you were asking them to hold was more than they were built for. Because you couldn't fix something back into a shape it had already left.

Some things you couldn't fix by trying harder.

Some things needed to be broken down completely and started from nothing.

You looked at the cracked isomalt on the marble for a long moment.

And then you looked past it.

When did we break? you thought. When did the space start? There must have been a beginning. A first thing. If I can find the first thing maybe I can find the way back to before it.

You stood in your empty bakery in the early morning quiet and you went looking.

You went all the way back.

The house.

Technically, your house now, even if half of it still looked like a moving company had lost an argument with it — smelled like fresh paint and cardboard and the candles you'd been burning for two weeks trying to make it feel like home before it was ready to feel like home.

There were still boxes in the hallway.

Not many — you'd been working through them slowly, weekends and late evenings when Jin was home and you'd put on music and unpacked things together and argued about where the books should go, which was the most married-people thing you had ever done without technically being married, which your mothers had both noticed and expressed opinions about.

His mother over tea, delicate and pointed.

Yours more directly, over the phone, on a Tuesday. When is Seokjin going to finally propose to you?, she had said, which had made you roll your eyes so hard you'd had to sit down.

It made sense, moving in together. You had been together for almost six years, you were both in your thirties, the new house was big enough and living together was practical and also the truth was that you had been sleeping at each other's places in alternating rotation for the last four years and the moving in had mostly just been admitting what was already true.

Your parents knew this. They had accepted it. They had also, separately, expressed their feelings about the natural next step, which both of you had been nodding along to while privately knowing that the natural next step would happen when Jin's career allowed it, which was not a romantic way to think about your future but was an honest one, and you had made your peace with honesty a long time ago.

When we feel ready, you said to your mother, and to his, and to your brothers, and to every cousin who asked.

It was not entirely a lie.

You both did need to feel ready. But underneath that — underneath the practical truth of it — was the other truth, the quieter one, that readiness in your life together had never really been about feelings. It had been about windows. About the tour ending, the album cycle finishing, the schedule clearing enough that something personal could exist in the space it left behind. You had gotten very good at finding those windows. You had gotten so good at it that you had almost stopped noticing that you were doing it.

Almost.

It was June. Beautiful, warm, the kind of early summer evening that made Seoul feel generous, light still in the sky past eight o'clock. You were in the kitchen — the kitchen that was fully unpacked because the kitchen was always unpacked first, always, because that was where you both lived — when you heard him hit the keypad in the door.

You heard him come in.

You heard him stop.

Not the usual stop — not the coat coming off, the keys in the bowl, the particular sound of him arriving and settling into the space the way he always did, easy and immediate, like the house exhaled when he walked in.

This was different. This was a stop.

You looked up.

He was standing at the end of the hallway, still in his jacket, one of the moving boxes beside him that hadn't been there this morning — he'd moved it, sometime in the last thirty seconds, without thinking, something to do with his hands — and his expression was the one you didn't have a name for yet.

Not the camera face. Not the face he gave interviews or variety shows or even the members when something was wrong. Not the real face you got at two in the morning when the guard was fully down. Something else entirely. Something you had never seen before, that looked like a man who had been carrying something for a very long time and whose arms had simply given out.

"Hi," you said.

"Hi," he said.

He didn't move.

"Are you okay?" you said.

"I've been thinking," he said.

And then he stopped. Laughed — short, slightly wrecked, the laugh of someone whose rehearsal had just completely deserted them — and pressed his hand over his eyes.

"I practiced this," he said, to his palm. "I've been practicing this for months. I had a speech. A whole speech. Namjoon helped me with some of it, which — he cried when I read it to him, which I thought was a good sign—"

"Namjoon cried?"

"He said he was allergic to the sentiment. He wasn't." He lowered his hand. Looked at you down the hallway, past the boxes, past the half-renovated wall that the contractors were supposed to finish in August, and his eyes were bright in a way that was doing something to your chest. "I had a plan," he said. "I had a whole plan. I was going to rent a venue—"

"Seokjin—"

"You said once — you said once that you wanted something big. The whole thing. You were very specific about it. You said theme park."

"You were the one who said theme park," you said. "You were drunk. You said you were going to rent all of Lotte World."

Something crossed his face. Something that was almost a smile and also, underneath it, wasn't. "I was going to," he said, quietly. "I was going to do it exactly like that. I had it planned out. The whole thing. I even looked into what it would cost to—" he stopped. Exhaled. "And then I thought about the cameras. About someone with a phone getting close enough to photograph us. About what happens if the wrong person sees, if it ends up somewhere, if—" he shook his head. "And I couldn't. I couldn't give you that. I couldn't give you the theme park or the big venue or the proposal that gets photographed and shared and — I couldn't give you the thing that everyone else gets to have, and I kept thinking, I'll find another way, I'll find something that works, and I have been thinking that for a year and I—"

His voice caught.

Just slightly. Just for a second. You had known him for ten years and dated him for six and you had heard his voice do a lot of things and this specific catch — the one that happened when he was feeling something he hadn't decided to feel yet — you knew it the way you knew the sound of his footsteps at the door.

"I've been carrying this ring in my pocket for a year," he said. His hand went to his jacket pocket. Stayed there. "I bought it in Vegas. We were on tour. I went with Yoongi and Jungkook and Jimin and they helped me choose it and they were—" he exhaled through a small, helpless laugh — "so embarrassing about it. Jimin cried. In the store. He said the lighting got to him."

"It always gets to him," you said, because your throat was doing something and you needed a second.

"The point is," he said, and his hand came out of his pocket, and there it was — small, simple, the kind of ring that meant someone had paid attention not to a magazine or a trend but to you, to the specific person you were, and you felt the sight of it somewhere below your ribs — "I have been waiting for the right moment for a year. And I've been waiting for the right life for longer than that. And I think—" he looked at you across the hallway, past the boxes, his jacket still on, his shoes still on, the house still half-finished around him — "I think there is no right moment. I think there is never going to be a right moment because our life doesn't have those and I have been asking it to have something it can't give me."

He walked toward you.

He stopped when he was close enough that you could see exactly how nervous he was — the slight tension in his jaw, the way he was holding himself very carefully, like something would spill if he moved too fast.

His hands were shaking slightly.

"I watched myself announce today that we're going on hiatus," he said. "I sat there in our old dorm with the members, in front of that camera and I said the thing and I smiled the way I smile and I—" his jaw worked — "and all I could think, the entire time, was: I have not asked her yet. I have been in love with this woman for fifteen years and I have not asked her yet." He looked at you steadily. "I fell in love with you the second you asked me what I wanted for lunch. That first Tuesday. You didn't even look up from your order pad." He shook his head, something between a laugh and a confession. "I spent the next five years trying very hard to pretend I hadn't, because admitting that I fell in love with someone over a lunch order felt like information that should not leave my body. And then I stopped pretending. And it has been fifteen years and I am still — every single day — more certain than I was the day before."

"Seokjin," you said. Your voice was not steady at all.

"We have a mortgage together," he said.

You blinked. "We do."

"I know." He reached into his jacket pocket. "AND YET."

He got down on one knee.

Right there. In the hallway. With his shoes on and boxes stacked against the wall and the unfinished plaster behind you and the evening light coming through the kitchen at that specific gold angle, and he was looking up at you with the ring in his hand and his eyes were very bright and his hands were still shaking and he was the most ridiculous, most wonderful, most entirely himself person you had ever known.

"I want the paperwork," he said. "I want your name next to mine on everything — the house, the accounts, all of it, every single thing I have is already yours, I just want the legal documentation to confirm what has been true for ten years." He exhaled. "I want to leave in December knowing you are my wife. I want to come back to my wife. I want you to have every protection, every right, everything — while I'm gone and when I'm back and for the rest of our lives." His voice softened. "And I want it because I love you. Not because of the paperwork. The paperwork is just — the paperwork is how I make sure the whole world knows you're mine even when I can't say it out loud."

You were crying. You hadn't decided to cry. It had simply happened.

"You would make me," he said, "the happiest, luckiest, and objectively handsomest man on this earth — already the handsomest, that's established, that's a fact — if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife." He paused. "Please. I'm on one knee and this floor is not as forgiving as it looks."

You laughed. A real laugh, a surprised one, the kind that came out before you could catch it, and then you were crying and laughing at the same time and he was looking up at you with that face — the real one, the underneath one, the one that was just him, just Seokjin, completely undone and completely certain — and you crossed the hallway and took his face in your hands.

"Get up," you said.

"Is that a—"

"Yes," you said. "Obviously yes. Get up. Come here."

He got up.

He kissed you in the hallway, shoes on, ring in hand, boxes all around you, and you were so completely, entirely happy that the happiness felt like something physical — like it had weight and warmth and took up all the available space.

He put the ring on your finger. His hands had stopped shaking.

It fit perfectly. Of course it fit perfectly — he had known your hands for ten years, had held them enough times to know them without looking, and he had apparently described them in enough detail in a Las Vegas jewelry store that four grown men had managed to find the exact size without you there. Gold band, because you had never once in your entire life worn a silver accessory, not a single one, and he knew this the way he knew everything about you — not because you had made a point of telling him but because he had been paying attention for fifteen years. And at the center of it, a pink diamond, soft and warm and the exact shade that made your chest do something you couldn't name, surrounded by a small crown of white diamonds that caught the evening light coming through the kitchen window and threw it in every direction.

You didn't want to think about what it cost.

You thought about it anyway, briefly, and then set it aside, because the price of it was not the point and he would tell you the price was not the point and you both knew the price was not the point.

The point was that it was beautiful. That it was exactly what you would have picked for yourself — had dreamed of picking for yourself, actually, since you were a girl with opinions about jewelry and a very clear internal picture of the ring you would someday wear. The point was that he had walked into a store in Las Vegas with Yoongi and Jungkook and Jimin and between the four of them, somehow, they had found the exact thing. Not similar to it. Not close. The thing itself.

Not only did he love you.

He knew you.

They all did.

Your eyes were already stinging before you'd fully processed that thought, because there was something about it — about all four of them standing in a jewelry store being collectively, embarrassingly invested in getting this right — that undid you in a way that the ring itself almost didn't. He loved you. And the people he loved most in the world had stood in a store and cried about the lighting and argued about settings and helped him choose something that proved it.

That was the whole thing, really.

That was all of it.

And underneath it — you think now, in the bakery, in the early morning quiet, the isomalt still cracked on the marble — underneath all of that happiness, already, so quietly I didn't even feel it happening:

The ghost of the theme park.

The version of that moment that existed in a life slightly different from yours — where someone could have photographed it, where you could have posted the ring with his name, where your mother could have called her friends and your father could have told the whole restaurant and your brothers could have shared it and it would have just been a thing that happened, a normal, visible, joyful thing that everyone who loved you got to be part of.

You would never have that.

You had known this before you said yes. You had known it when you said yes. You had said yes anyway, completely, without hesitation, without regret.

But standing in this kitchen now — three years and a space you can't name and a husband somewhere in the city putting his armor back on — you finally let yourself feel the full shape of it.

Not the theme park.

Not even the proposal.

The version of your life where love didn't have to hide.

Where it got to be loud.

You had set it down so quietly. So willingly. With so much love.

You had been so happy you had almost not felt the weight of it.

Almost.

You stood at the prep station and the isomalt sat cracked on the marble and you thought: that's where it started. Not the space — the space came later. But the first thing we set down — that was in a hallway, four years ago, still in his shoes, a ring in his hand and the theme park already somewhere behind us that we'd never go back for.

And you had been so happy.

You had genuinely been so happy.

And still, underneath it, the very first thing you had given up was already given up.

And you had never once said so.

You reached for the scraper.

Started again.

The wedding was on a Saturday in October, two months before he enlisted.

You had planned it in six weeks. Not because you wanted to — you had dreamed about a wedding your whole life, had grown up watching your brothers get married in big, loud, beautiful ceremonies with three hundred people and full banquet tables and every cousin you had ever met crying in the front row. You had wanted that. You had both wanted that, in the abstract, in the version of your life where the math worked differently.

The math did not work differently.

So you planned it in six weeks, in a private venue forty minutes outside the city, on a guest list of thirty-two people that had required more painful editing than anything you had ever done. Not even all of your family could come — no aunts, no uncles, no cousins, none of the sprawling warm chaos of the people who had raised you. Just your parents. Your three brothers and their wives. Jin's parents. His brother and sister-in-law. Sooah, Minji. The members. A handful of people from the company.

No children. Your brothers and his had decided this together, quietly, practically — the kids were too young to understand why they couldn't tell anyone, and a child who couldn't keep a secret at a secret wedding was a problem nobody needed. You had agreed. You had smiled and said of course, it makes sense, it's fine.

You had not told anyone that you had imagined your nieces as flower girls since they were born.

You set that down too. You were getting good at it by then.

The venue was beautiful. That was the thing — it was genuinely, completely beautiful, small and warm and full of flowers you had chosen yourself, the kind of place that felt intentional rather than reduced, like you had chosen this on purpose rather than arrived here through a series of things you couldn't have.

The members had shown up early and collectively stressed about everything, which had mostly expressed itself as Jimin crying before the ceremony even started, Taehyung telling him to stop which made Taehyung also cry, and Yoongi standing in the corner watching both of them with the expression of a man who was absolutely not going to cry and was doing so with great effort.

Namjoon had written something to read. He had practiced it so many times he had it memorized, and he stood up there and said it with his whole chest, and by the end of it your father was crying and Jin's mother was crying and even the company representative was blinking more than usual.

Jungkook had cried openly and without apology. He had decided early that this was an acceptable thing to do and had committed to it completely. You had loved him for it.

You walked toward Jin and his face did the thing.

Something that was him, stripped of every single layer, looking at you walking toward him in this small perfect venue forty minutes outside the city with thirty-two people watching, and his eyes went wet immediately, and he didn't bother to hide it, and you thought: whatever we had to set down to get here, it was worth it. It was worth every single thing.

You still believe that.

Standing at your prep station at six in the morning with cracked isomalt on the marble, you still believe it.

But you are also, finally, letting yourself ask: what did it cost?

You had stepped outside to take a call.

Ten minutes, maybe. Your boss at the restaurant, something that couldn't wait, the specific bad timing of a business that did not know you were getting married today. You had slipped out through a side door, phone to your ear, still in your dress, and you were standing in the small garden at the side of the venue when you heard the commotion at the front.

You didn't understand it at first. Just voices — raised, unfamiliar, the sound of something not going the way it was supposed to. You ended the call and moved toward it, and then you came around the corner and there he was.

Junho.

Your ex-boyfriend from high school and a handful of months into your first year of university — a relationship you had ended cleanly, eight years ago now, eight years of you living your entire life while he had apparently never fully accepted that the version of himself that existed in relation to you had stopped being relevant the day you walked away.

He was standing at the gate in his regular clothes, arguing with two men from the security team with the energy of someone whose script hadn't accounted for other people having lines. You stood there and ran through the questions in the order they arrived — how did he find the venue, how did he know today was the day, what version of himself did he decide to be this morning — and underneath all of them, quieter, the one that actually mattered: eight years. He had eight years to accept it. And he is at my wedding.

He saw you.

"I just need five minutes," he said. Not to the security. To you. "Five minutes, I just need to—"

"No," you said.

"Please—"

"No," you said again, and your voice came out steadier than you felt, and then someone was beside you — one of the members, you didn't even look to see who, a hand on your arm — and two men from the company were moving Junho away from the gate, firmly, not cruelly, and he was saying something that you stopped listening to because you turned and went back inside.

You stood in the small anteroom just inside the door and took three slow breaths.

And then you heard it — behind you, low, from one of the members talking to another, not meant for you to hear:

"—could have been seen. He almost came out. You know he almost came out."

"I know."

"If he'd been photographed—"

"I know. I know. It's fine. It's handled."

You stood very still.

You had known, in the moment, that Jin was inside. That he would have heard the commotion. That his instinct — his immediate, complete, entirely predictable instinct — would have been to come out. To stand between you and whatever was happening at the gate. To be your husband in the most visible way possible.

And someone had stopped him.

Not cruelly. Not wrongly — you understood why, you had always understood why, the logic of it was exactly the logic you had agreed to when you agreed to all of this. A photo of BTS Jin at a secret wedding, at a gate, confronting an unknown man, would have been a disaster. A photo of him and you together on your wedding day would have been the end of the careful thing you had built.

He had had to stay inside.

He had had to stand in a venue forty minutes outside the city and listen to something happening to his wife at the gate and stay inside and trust that the company's security would handle it.

And the first thing one of the members said after was not are you okay or is she okay but he almost came out, he could have been seen.

You had gone back to the ceremony. You had married him. You had been so happy.

And you had never, once, said to him: I know you wanted to come outside. I know you couldn't. I know what that cost you. I know what it cost both of us.

You had set that down too.

The honeymoon was a weekend in the mountains.

It was the only thing that made sense — Jin couldn't leave the country, not this close to his enlistment date, not with the paperwork and the restrictions and the specific bureaucratic reality of the situation — so you had packed a bag and driven three hours to a house that belonged to his family, tucked into the countryside in a way that made Seoul feel very far away and very small.

There was a strawberry farm.

An actual strawberry farm, right there, attached to the property, and you had spent a whole morning walking through it in wellies that didn't quite fit while he trailed behind you eating strawberries directly off the plants with the complete lack of remorse of someone who considered this a personal right.

It was not France. It was not the Maldives.

It was not Universal Studios in Orlando, which you had both talked about with the specific longing of two enormous nerds who had never quite outgrown the part of themselves that wanted to run toward a theme park holding hands — but it was quiet, and green, and the house had a kitchen with a window that looked out over the mountains, and you had cooked for him for the first time in a space that was neither yours nor his but somehow felt like both.

For an entire weekend, you called each other husband and wife every chance you got.

Every single chance. Completely without shame. Husband, can you pass the salt. Wife, I think it's your turn to make the coffee. Husband. Wife. Mine. You said it over breakfast and over dinner and standing in a strawberry field and lying in bed at night listening to the countryside be quiet around you, and it was so ridiculous and so wholesome and so entirely you that by Sunday evening you had both said it so many times it had started to feel like breathing — just the word, just the fact of it, the simple staggering reality that you were each other's.

It wasn't France.

But he was yours for a whole uninterrupted weekend, no schedule, no cameras, no anything, just him and you and a strawberry farm and the mountains, and when you drove back to the city on Sunday night his hand was over yours on the center console the whole way and neither of you talked much and you didn't need to.

You think about that weekend now. How full it was. How enough it was.

You also think about France.

You had never said: I am so happy with the strawberry farm and I also wanted France.

And you should have.

Not because it would have changed anything — it wouldn't have, there was no version of that conversation that produced a honeymoon in Paris — but because saying it would have been honest, and you had spent a long time curating your honesty around him, keeping only the parts that were useful and setting the rest down somewhere he couldn't see it.

The bakery came eleven days after you got back.

He told you he was taking you somewhere. He wouldn't say where, deflecting every question with increasing smugness, and you watched Seoul go past the window and told yourself to be patient and failed at it, and he talked about nothing in particular the whole drive — just talking, easy, the warm familiar sound of him filling the car — and then he stopped outside a building in a neighborhood you loved.

You had mentioned it to him once. That you loved the light here, the way it came through at a specific angle in the late afternoon. A single passing comment in a conversation about something else entirely, months ago.

He had remembered.

Of course he had remembered.

The windows had balloons. Soft pink, pastel — the exact shade you had told him was your favorite in a conversation so casual you had barely registered having it, about colors, about nothing, about everything he quietly filed away without ever indicating he was filing. Inside, before he could say anything, you walked.

The kitchen first.

Always the kitchen — but this one, this one, was the kitchen from your head. Not similar to it. Not inspired by it. The actual kitchen, the exact proportions, the counters at the precise height that meant you could work for twelve hours without your back protesting, the ovens already installed and already the right kind, the shelving built the way you had once described shelving to him at midnight when neither of you could sleep and you had been talking about nothing and apparently he had been storing everything. The prep station. The pass-through window into what would be the front of house. The light — south-facing, full in the afternoons, the kind of light that made everything look like it was worth making.

You had described this kitchen to him across six years of conversations. Not all at once, not as a plan — in pieces, in passing, the way you talked about things you wanted so much you were almost afraid to want them directly. Someday I want a kitchen where I can actually move. Someday I want to make things that don't exist yet. Someday I want something that's mine. Not a blueprint. Just the language of a dream that had been living in you since you were twelve years old watching your family cook in their restaurant and thinking: I love this and I also want something different. Something mine.

You had spent four years working as a pastry assistant chef at a hotel restaurant with a Michelin star and a head chef who was one of the best in the city and also one of the most miserable human beings you had ever encountered, a man who had perfected the specific art of making talented women feel like they were lucky to be allowed in the building. You had learned from him and resented him and stayed longer than you should have because the credential mattered and because you were stubborn, and you had come home from shifts and told Jin about it and Jin had listened — had always listened, had never once told you to quit or stay or do anything at all except be heard — and somewhere in all of those conversations he had been building this.

Not because he felt guilty about the honeymoon.

Not because he was leaving in six weeks.

Because he loved you. That was all. That was the whole of it — he loved you and you had wanted something and he had paid attention and built it, the way he built everything he cared about, quietly and completely and without announcement.

You stood in the middle of your kitchen for a long time.

When you turned around he was by the door, hands in his pockets, watching your face with an expression he was trying very hard to make casual and failing completely.

"I know it's not Paris," he said.

"Seokjin—"

"I know it's not the honeymoon we—" he stopped. "I know I'm leaving and I know the timing is—" another stop. He looked at you steadily. "I just wanted to give you something that was yours. That couldn't be taken away. That was there when I was gone." A pause. "That was there when I came back."

You crossed the kitchen.

You took his face in your hands.

"It's ours," you said.

"Yours," he said.

"Ours," you said, and kissed him before he could argue, and he laughed into it and held you in the middle of the kitchen — the biggest room, the one he'd built first because he knew you — while outside the pink balloons pressed against the glass and the afternoon light came through at exactly the angle you had always wanted.

You were so happy.

You held onto that. The happiness was real and whole and entirely true.

But standing at your prep station now, years later, with the cracked isomalt on the marble, you let yourself ask the question you had never asked out loud, not once, in all the years since:

He is so good at making everyone around him happy. His members, his family, his fans — you. Always you.

But is he happy?

Has he ever, even once, put his own happiness first?

Have you ever made sure he did?

You looked at the cracked sugar.

You looked at the bakery he had built you, the kitchen that was exactly right, every detail assembled from years of you talking and him listening.

When did I stop listening back?

The question sat in the empty kitchen and you didn't have an answer for it and the isomalt was still cracked on the marble and somewhere in the city your husband was getting ready to go to practice and you were standing here in the thing he built for you, realizing that you had no idea how long he had been the one holding the door open while you walked through.

Seven thirty.

You looked at the clock on the wall and felt the number land like something physical. Cameron would be here in thirty minutes. The isomalt was still cracked on the marble. The kitchen smelled like butter and sugar and the particular quiet of early morning, and you had been standing here for — you didn't know how long. Long enough to have gone back through the proposal and the wedding and the strawberry farm and the bakery and all the small, quiet, accumulated things you had both set down without saying you were setting them down.

You had been looking for the moment. The place where the crack started.

And you had been circling it this whole time without letting yourself land on it, the way you circled things that were too large to look at directly, the way you had been circling it for three years.

For the first time in almost three years, you were ready to look at it.

The thing that broke you both.

He had been a year into his service.

He was, unsurprisingly, doing well. Because that was who Kim Seokjin was — someone who looked at hard things the way other people looked at weather, as simply part of the condition of being alive, as something you moved through rather than argued with. He called when he could. He was funny on the calls, warm, present in the specific way he was always present even across distance. He said he was fine. Happy, even. I have everything I want, he said. My members, a beautiful wife, and yes, this whole thing is difficult, but the good thing about difficult things is that they end.

You knew the other members were not doing as well. You knew because the last time they had all been at your house — a leave that had overlapped, a miracle of scheduling — they had gotten so drunk that every single one of them had ended up crying. All of them, at your kitchen table, in various states of undone, even Yoongi, who had excused himself to the bathroom for twelve minutes and come back red-eyed and claimed he had allergies. Even you had cried. The collective grief of people who loved each other and were being asked to be apart and were pretending, most of the time, that it was fine.

But Jin said he was fine.

And because he said it with such complete, warm certainty, you had believed him.

That night — the night they were all at your house, the night everyone cried and then recovered and then ate everything in your kitchen at two in the morning — Jin had held you differently.

Slower than usual. More careful. Like he was doing something intentional, something he had thought about. He said I love you more times than he usually said it, which was already a lot, and each time he said it he looked at you in a way that was very still and very certain and very present, and you had thought, half-asleep and warm: he knows something. He knows exactly what he's doing right now.

Five weeks later, you found out exactly what you had made that night.

You called Minji first. Then Sooah. They were at your house within the hour — Minji with food, Sooah with the efficient calm of someone who cried only after she had handled everything that needed handling. You all cried anyway, together, at your kitchen table, the three of you, and it was the happiest crying you had ever done.

Then you called your mother, who cried so hard she had to put down the phone and come back to it.

Then his mother — usually composed, always elegant, the kind of woman who considered public displays of feeling to be optional — who made a sound you had never heard from her before, something that was pure joy before it was anything else, high and overwhelmed, and then she was laughing and crying at the same time and you were laughing and crying at the same time and neither of you could finish a sentence.

You were so happy.

You had grown up in a loud, enormous family — three brothers, their wives, the nieces and nephews who had started arriving before you were finished being a niece yourself — and you had known for as long as you could remember that you wanted that. The fullness of it. The noise. The chaos of a house that was always full of people who loved each other. You had accepted, quietly, sometime in the last few years, that the fullness you'd dreamed of might look different with Jin — smaller, more careful, built around the shape of a life that didn't always have room for everything you wanted. You had accepted it. You had made peace.

And now this.

You waited until his next leave to tell him.

He went completely still when you said it. Two full minutes — you counted, not because you were counting but because the silence was so total you became aware of every second of it — completely silent, completely motionless, like his body had simply stopped while his mind went somewhere it needed to go alone.

You thought he might faint.

And then he started crying.

Not the quiet kind — the loud kind, the uncontrolled kind, the kind that came out of him in a sound that turned into a laugh that turned back into crying, and he was jumping, actually jumping, in the hallway of your house saying I'm going to be a dad, I'm going to be a dad like if he said it enough times it would become more real than it already was. He hugged you and then immediately, comically, let go — I don't want to hurt the baby — and then hugged you again more carefully, and you were laughing so hard you had to hold onto him just to stay upright.

He made lists. Actual lists, written on his phone, items appearing faster than autocorrect could keep up: crib, mobile, white noise machine, books — what age do you start books, fishing rod (small), pink things (pink is for everyone, I am a very manly man who loves pink). He decided the baby would be beautiful — obviously, have you seen us, we need to hire security in advance — and that he would be fine being second-favorite once the baby arrived, truly fine, he was evolved enough for that.

He video-called Namjoon and Yoongi from your living room, both of them appearing on screen looking alarmed at the volume of him, and announced that they were going to be uncles. Namjoon had immediately teared up. Yoongi had looked at the ceiling for a long time and then said, very quietly, that's good. That's really good. Which from Yoongi was a standing ovation.

You laughed so hard that night.

You laughed until your stomach hurt and your face hurt and you couldn't remember the last time you had laughed like that.

You wished that happiness had lasted longer.

He went back to the base.

The next day you went to the doctor with your mother.

The doctor was speaking and you were nodding and somewhere underneath the nodding your heartbeat was so loud you could feel it in your teeth, and then he said high risk and absolute rest and complicated and the words arrived one at a time like something being dropped from a height, each one landing separately, and your mother's hand found yours under the table and held on.

Iron shots. Transfusions. Supplements and tests and monitoring schedules and a list of restrictions that turned the next few months into something that needed to be managed rather than experienced. You went home. Your mother came. Then his mother. Then your brothers and their wives and your father and his brother and people kept arriving and meaning well and loving you loudly and filling the house with their worry until the house felt like it was pressing in on you from every side.

You loved them.

You sent them home.

You needed quiet. You needed to breathe. You needed to lie in your bed in your house and not have to perform okay for anyone for five minutes, and you needed Jin, who was not here, who was kilometers away on a base being fine and happy and completely unaware that the thing you had made together was fighting to stay.

You told yourself it would be fine.

You told yourself this so many times it became a kind of prayer, something you said before you fell asleep and the first thing you thought when you woke up, a promise you were making to no one in particular because there was no one there to make it to.

It was three in the morning.

You woke up and knew before you were fully conscious, the way your body sometimes knows things before you have the words for them. The sheets. The cold. The feeling that something enormous and irreversible had happened while you were sleeping.

You don't remember getting to the bathroom.

You don't remember calling your mother. You must have, because she came, but the call itself is gone, some mercy of shock erasing it cleanly.

You remember the sound.

A sound you didn't recognize for a long time afterward — high and broken, coming from somewhere that didn't feel like you — and then your brother was there, your oldest brother who had always been the one you called when things were too large, and he carried you. You don't remember getting to his car but you remember the feeling of being carried, of not being able to make your legs work, of the cold night air and his arms and the specific smell of his jacket.

Then the hospital.

The lights. The particular antiseptic smell of an emergency room at three in the morning, that specific smell that you will never, for the rest of your life, be able to separate from this night.

The doctor's face.

The way he looked at you before he said it — that particular arrangement of professional composure over genuine human sorrow that doctors learn and that tells you everything before the words arrive.

There is nothing else we can do.

Your mother crying. Not loudly — your mother didn't cry loudly — just the tears moving down her face while she held very still, the way she held still when things were too large for movement.

Your sister-in-law's hand in yours. Holding on. Not saying anything. Just there.

Your brother's voice, low and steady, somewhere near your ear: it's going to be okay.

You didn't say anything back.

You were thinking about Seokjin.

About his face when you told him, the two full minutes of stillness and then the jumping, the crying, the I'm going to be a dad said over and over in your hallway. About the lists. About fishing is for everyone and so is pink. About the boxes that had started arriving — things he had ordered from the base, tiny things, soft things, things that were going to need to go somewhere now.

He was on a base kilometers away, completely asleep, completely unaware that the thing you had made together was gone.

He was going to wake up tomorrow still a father.

How could you call him and tell him that he wasn't anymore.

You didn't call him.

You told yourself it was practical — the information could leak, the timing was catastrophic, Yoongi was already in the papers, the press were looking for any thread they could pull. You told yourself it was protective. You told yourself it was the right decision.

You avoided him on calls. Said you were tired. Said the bakery opening was taking everything. He believed you, because why wouldn't he — you had never lied to him before, not really, and this was the biggest lie you had ever told, the lie of omission, the performance of fine while sitting on a kitchen floor some nights unable to stand up.

He had a leave in six weeks.

You waited.

He was still in uniform when you told him.

Standing in the hallway — the same hallway where he had proposed, still in his shoes, the same hallway that held everything now — and you told him.

He went completely still.

The same stillness as when you told him you were pregnant. But this time the stillness didn't break into jumping and crying and lists. This time it lasted, and lasted, and then he dropped to his knees.

Right there. On the floor of your hallway. And the sound that came out of him was nothing like the sound you had heard from him before, not even on the living room floor last night — it was something older, something that didn't have a shape yet, grief that hadn't learned its own name.

You were both on the floor.

You don't know how that happened either. You were just there, both of you, on the floor of your hallway, holding on.

He never let you apologize.

Every time you started — I'm sorry, I should have told you, I should have called — he stopped you.

Gently.

Firmly.

Don't.

He asked what you needed. He asked what the doctors were saying, what came next, what your body needed to recover. He was so careful with you. So specific. He quietly made things happen — the company gave him extra days, the boxes stopped arriving, the house became yours again — and he sat with you and mourned with you and let you be as bad as you needed to be without once asking you to be anything else.

He told you he would never forgive himself for letting you go through it alone.

That he would never let that happen again.

Three years.

It had been almost three years and you had never talked about it directly. Not really.

You had survived it side by side and mourned it separately and kept going the way you both kept going — by showing up, by being present, by being the safe place for everyone else so that neither of you had to look at what the loss had done to the space between you.

You had seen it from your side. The things you lost. The night alone. The call you couldn't make. The way the house had felt after — too large, too quiet, the house that was meant to always be full.

You had carried all of that.

But standing here now, in the kitchen he built for you, looking at the cracked isomalt on the marble —

He lost something too.

He had lost it in a hallway.

Still in his uniform, still with his bag over his shoulder, still carrying the exhaustion of someone who had just traveled a long way to be home.

Standing in the same hallway where he had proposed to you, where he had still had his shoes on, and you had watched his face go through every stage of understanding in the space of thirty seconds — the confusion first, then the listening, then the stillness, and then the thing underneath the stillness that broke your heart completely.

He had come home expecting to hold you and instead you had told him, and he had dropped to his knees right there on the floor, and you had gone down with him, and you had both stayed there for a long time.

He had been so careful with you after.

So specific.

So entirely focused on what you needed — and then his leave ended and he went back, and he took all of it with him, everything he felt, packed up and carried back to a base where there was nowhere to put it and no one who knew what he was carrying.

What did he do with it?

Who sat on a floor with him?

He told you he would never let you go through something like that alone again.

But who made sure he didn't go through it alone?

The question arrived and didn't leave.

Eight AM.

The back door opened. The specific sound of Cameron — his keys, his particular way of coming through the door, the small sounds of someone starting their day with reliable warmth.

"Morning," he said. Took one look at you. Said nothing else.

"I need to go," you said.

He didn't ask where. He didn't ask why. He just looked at you the way he looked at things he understood without needing them explained.

"Go," he said. "I've got the fort."

You took your jacket from the hook. Your keys from the counter. You didn't look at the isomalt.

You walked to your car.

You sat in it for a moment before you started it, your hands on the wheel, the morning going on around you, ordinary and indifferent.

For three years you had been looking at the miscarriage from inside your own grief. The things you had lost. The night alone. The things you had given up. The weight of it that you had carried quietly because carrying quietly was what you did.

But Seokjin.

He had jumped around a hallway saying I'm going to be a dad. Jin who had made lists and ordered boxes and called his members from your living room to tell them they were going to be uncles. Jin who had come home in his uniform and dropped to his knees on your floor and never let you apologize. Jin who had gone back to a base and held it alone, all of it, the way he held everything — quietly, efficiently, without telling anyone the cost.

He was just as broken.

He had always been just as broken.

You had just never let yourself see it.

You started the car.

You started driving.

You didn't know yet where you were going. You just knew you were finally, after three years, moving toward him instead of around him.

That felt like the first true thing you had done in a very long time.

— JIN —

He had been in the studio since five in the morning.

Not the practice room — the small room on the upper floor that he had claimed over the years as his own, the one nobody else used much, with the couch that had a permanent dent in it from all the times he'd sat in the same spot and the window that looked out over a city he had known for fifteen years and still sometimes found surprising. He had a gaming setup in the corner that he barely touched anymore. He had come here because the house was empty and the only thing worse than being alone was being alone somewhere that was supposed to be full.

He sat on the couch and he did not turn on the games.

He thought about the living room floor.

He thought about your face when he'd asked is it enough and the way you had answered with such fierce, immediate certainty, and how he had known you meant it and had still walked out the door. He thought about the cheek kiss — how he had done it without deciding to, how his mouth had just landed there instead of where it wanted to be, some cowardly last-minute redirection that you had noticed, that you always noticed, because you noticed everything he did even when he wished you wouldn't.

He thought about what you had asked him.

Are you happy?

He had said I love you.

He knew that wasn't an answer. He had known it the moment it came out, had watched your face understand that he wasn't going to answer the real question, and he had let you understand it and walked upstairs anyway. Because the real answer — the honest version, the one that didn't have a performance built around it — was something he didn't know how to say out loud yet. Not because it was bad. Not because the love wasn't real.

Because he didn't know what the answer was.

And not knowing — after thirty-four years of being the person who knew things, who held things, who had an answer ready for every room he walked into — not knowing was the most frightening thing he had felt in a very long time.

The concert was in four days.

The choreography for this comeback was harder than anything they had done in years — the members had pushed for it, and he had agreed, and he was going to do it because he always did it, because showing up was what he did. But his body was thirty-four years old and he had been honest enough with himself, in the private space of his own head, to admit that thirty-four felt different than twenty-four in ways the cameras wouldn't see and that he would never say out loud because saying it out loud would make it a story and he was so tired of being a story.

He went down to the practice room three hours before rehearsal because he couldn't sit still anymore.

Hoseok was already there.

Not practicing — just standing at the mirror, looking at his own reflection with the expression of a man having a conversation with himself that wasn't going well. He turned when he heard Jin come in, and something in his face shifted from whatever it had been to something more ordinary.

"Hyung," he said. "Practice is in three hours."

"I know," Jin said.

He went to the mirror too. Stood beside Hoseok and looked at himself — the face he had been performing for fifteen years, familiar and strange at the same time, the face that had gotten easier to wear and harder to take off — and felt very tired.

The silence between them was not uncomfortable. It was something more interesting than comfortable — it was honest, which was different. Jin had always felt slightly misaligned with Hoseok in a way he couldn't fully name, not distant exactly, just — differently built. Like two instruments in the same key that didn't naturally harmonize. Hoseok's stage presence was sunshine in a container, warm and enormous and relentless, and Jin had always known that the real Jung Hoseok — the one behind it — was something quieter and considerably harder to read. More serious. Someone who felt things deeply and processed them privately and showed you the result rather than the process.

Not unlike you, he thought, looking at his own face in the mirror.

"Why do I feel like you're also here running from something, hyung?" Hoseok said.

Jin let out a sound that was supposed to be a laugh and wasn't quite. "Are you."

Hoseok was quiet for a moment. "Yeah," he said. "I am." He said it simply, without self-pity, just the fact of it laid out clean. Then: "Do you want to run the choreography?"

Jin looked at him.

"Together," Hoseok said. "Three hours is enough time to either fix it or break ourselves. Both seem useful right now."

Jin almost smiled. Almost. "Yeah," he said. "Okay."

They ran it twice before either of them spoke again.

Hoseok was — as he had always been, as he would always be — devastating to watch. The kind of dancer whose body understood music as a first language rather than a translation, who moved through choreography the way water moved through a space, finding every angle, filling every beat. Jin moved beside him and felt, as he had felt for fifteen years, the particular frustration of working very hard at something that someone else simply was.

He was not a bad dancer. He knew that. He had worked himself into being a good dancer through sheer accumulated effort, the way he had worked himself into everything — through showing up, through doing it again, through deciding that the gap between where he was and where he needed to be was just a distance to be covered and covering it was his job.

But watching Hoseok dance was still, after fifteen years, the most efficient way to feel inadequate he had ever found.

"Stop watching me," Hoseok said, without stopping.

"I'm not—"

"You're comparing," Hoseok said. "Stop."

Jin stopped watching. Looked at his own reflection instead.

"You know what I've always admired about you," Hoseok said, slightly breathless now, both of them three-quarters through the second run. "You always show up. Doesn't matter how hard the day was or how hard the thing is. You show up."

"Showing up isn't the same as being good," Jin said.

"No," Hoseok agreed. "But it's rarer than being good. And it matters more." A beat. "Jimin is the best dancer in this group. Maybe in the world, honestly. But you are the reason this group still exists. You know that, right?"

Jin didn't say anything.

"Hyung." Hoseok stopped. Turned to look at him properly, the way he did when he had decided a thing needed to be said and was going to say it. "We all see it. We've been watching you carry something for months if not years and none of us have said anything because—" he stopped. "Because you always seem fine. And it's very convincing." He exhaled. "How's your wife?"

The question landed differently than Jin expected.

Not gently. Not cruelly. Just directly, the way Hoseok said things when the performance had been set aside.

"She—" Jin started. Stopped. "Things are. We're—" He stopped again. Pressed his hand over his eyes. "I don't know," he said, into his palm. "I don't know how she is. I don't know how I am. I said things last night and this morning and then I left and I don't know how to go back to the conversation and I—"

"Hyung."

"I know."

"You need to talk to her."

"I know."

"Not the version of talking where you say the things you've decided you're allowed to say," Hoseok said. "The actual version. The whole thing." He paused. "I know you've been hurting. We all know. But we are not teenagers you need to protect anymore. You can lean on us."

"I know," Jin said, quieter.

"And your wife—" Hoseok paused. Something moved across his face. "She has been choosing you every single day for ten years. That means something. Don't make her choose in the dark."

Jin looked at him.

Hoseok held his gaze, and something in it was complicated in the way that things between them had sometimes been complicated — the specific, textured history of two people who had spent fifteen years in each other's lives and had, at various points, been wanting different things that couldn't all exist at once.

"You had a crush on her," Jin said. It came out flatter than he intended, a little harder, the edge of something he thought he'd long since dealt with.

Hoseok didn't flinch.

"Yeah," he said. Simply. "I did."

Jin looked at the mirror.

"Hyung." Hoseok's voice was quiet now, all the performance stripped out of it. "I don't say that to make anything harder. I say it because — she is the most real, most warm, most completely herself person I have ever known. And I say that as someone who has been in every room this group has ever been in." He paused. "I had feelings for her. And then I watched the way she looked at you. And I understood — not slowly, not eventually — immediately. From the moment I saw it." His jaw worked slightly. "It was always going to be you. There was never any version of that where it wasn't. I don't think she even knew she was choosing. She just — was."

Jin was quiet for a moment.

"I broke someone," Hoseok said then, low, mostly to himself. "Someone who deserved better than what I gave her. And I would give anything to have the chance to sit with her the way you can sit with Y/n and say the thing that needs to be said." He looked at Jin. "So don't waste it, hyung. Whatever is happening between you two — go fix it. Because I would trade everything to be in the position you're in right now."

Jin opened his mouth.

His phone buzzed.

A staff member's voice through the door: "Mr. Kim? Your wife is downstairs. She's in the small meeting room on the second floor."

The practice room went very quiet.

Hoseok looked at him.

"Go," he said. Simply. And then, after a beat, something crossed his face that was complicated and honest and fond all at once: "And yeah. I was jealous of you. For longer than I should have been." He almost smiled. "But she chose you. She was always going to choose you." He picked up his water bottle. Turned back to the mirror. "Now go fix your marriage."

— JIN —

You were sitting in the small meeting room with your hands around a paper cup of something you wern't drinking.

You looked up when he came in. Your face was — he couldn't read it completely, which almost never happened, and the almost-never was its own thing to sit with.

"We need to talk," you said.

"Yes," he said.

He sat down across from you.

"I think it would be good for both of us to have some space," you said. "Just — for a few days. While things are—"

He went very still.

"No," he said.

"Seokjin—"

"No." He said it quietly. Without anger. But absolutely. "No. I am not doing that."

"I'm not leaving," you said. "I'm not — this isn't—" you pressed your hands flat on the table. "You need space. I need — I don't know what I need. I don't know, okay? I don't know, and I need to figure it out somewhere that isn't—"

"Somewhere that isn't our house," he said.

"Yes."

"Without me."

"Yes."

"Because?"

"Because—" your voice caught. "Because I have been so scared," you said. "I have been so scared for so long and I don't know when the fear started and I don't know how to be in our house right now and feel anything except—" you stopped. "Except afraid of losing something I can't name yet."

The room was quiet.

"What are you afraid of losing?" he said, very carefully.

You looked at him.

"I don't know," she said. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

He looked at his hands. "Is it me?"

"No," she said immediately. Then: "I don't know. It's not — it's not you, it's — it's us. It's the version of us that we've been performing and I don't know where the real version went and I'm scared it went somewhere I can't get back to."

Something in his chest that had been very tight for a very long time cracked open.

"I'm scared too," he said.

You looked at him. Slightly surprised. Like you had been expecting him to argue rather than agree.

"I've been scared since—" he stopped. The word sat in his throat. He hadn't said it directly between them since the week he came home, since the floor of the hallway, since the boxes stopped arriving. "Since we lost our baby," he said. "I have been scared since then and I haven't said it. I came home and I tried to take care of everything and I went back and I—" his jaw worked — "I didn't tell anyone. I went back and I carried it and I didn't tell anyone because that was what I did, and then you said you wanted to try again and I—"

"You were terrified," you said.

"Yes."

"So was I."

"I know."

"We never said that to each other," you said. "We just — kept going. Like if we kept going fast enough the thing behind us wouldn't catch up."

"It caught up," he said.

"It caught up," you agreed.

They sat with it for a moment.

"I want to try again," you said, finally. "I want that. It's not about not wanting it. I'm just—" you exhaled. "I'm so scared of losing again. And I'm scared of trying while we're—" you gestured between you two. "Like this."

"Like what," he said. Not challenging. Genuinely asking.

"Broken," you said.

The word landed.

He didn't argue with it.

"Then we fix it," he said.

"You can't fix things by—"

"I know," he said. "Not by pushing. Not by performing. I know." He looked at you. "But I am not going to sit across from you in a meeting room and agree to not see you for days and call that fixing anything."

"I'm not asking you to—"

"You're going to your parents," he said.

"Yes."

"That's—" he stopped. Breathed. "Okay. Okay, if you need to be somewhere that isn't the house—" something crossed his face — "I'll stay. You're not—" he shook his head. "That's your house. I'm not asking you to leave your house."

"I can't be in that house alone," you said. Very quiet. "I can't. I need you to understand that."

He looked at you.

He understood.

He understood completely, and the understanding of it — the image of you alone in that house, the specific night three years ago that he hadn't been there for, the reason she couldn't be in that house alone — sat in him like something swallowed wrong.

"Okay," he said. His voice came out rough. "Okay. Go to your parents. I'll — I'll stay home."

You nodded.

You stood up.

He stood too. And he wanted — he needed — to cross the room, to put his arms around you the way he had put his arms around you a thousand times, to feel the specific, particular weight of you against him, the thing that had always been the most reliable home he had ever had.

He didn't move.

Because he knew — with the certainty of fifteen years of knowing you — that if he touched you right now he would not be able to let go. And letting go was what you needed. And he had spent fifteen years learning to set things down that needed to be set down.

So he stood there.

He watched you pick up your bag.

He watched you walk to the door.

"I'll call," you said, at the door.

"I know," he said.

You left.

He stood in the empty meeting room for a moment, hands at his sides, and then he went back upstairs to rehearsal.

He was not present for any of it.

His body was there — hitting the marks, executing the formations, doing the work with the accumulated muscle memory of fifteen years — but his mind was in a car, watching her drive away. His mind was on the living room floor at four in the morning. His mind was in a restaurant fifteen years ago watching a girl behind a counter raise an eyebrow at his father's black card and not say a single word about it.

Then Jungkook was beside him, breathless from the final run, sweat on his forehead, with the guileless energy of someone who had worked hard and was ready to be done with working hard.

"Hyung, can I come to dinner, tonight?" he said. "Noona said she'd make—" he named a dish, cheerful, already assuming — "she told me this morning she said she had the ingredients—"

"She's not home, Jungkook," Jin said.

The words came out flat. Not unkind. Just true.

Jungkook blinked.

The rest of the members went very still in the particular way they went still when they had understood something before they were supposed to. Staff members moved quietly, reading the room, creating small excuses to be elsewhere.

Namjoon looked at the room. Made a small gesture. The remaining staff filed out.

"Hyung," Namjoon said, carefully. "Are you okay?"

Jin opened his mouth.

Closed it.

"No," he said. "Actually, no. I'm not."

Nobody said anything. Nobody tried to fill the silence with comfort or deflection or the usual architecture of making hard things easier. They just — sat with it. All of them, in the practice room, still in their rehearsal clothes, and let him have the space to say the true thing.

So he said it.

All of it.

He didn't perform it. He didn't make it light. He said it the way it actually was — the album, the writing block, the feeling of holding a door open for so long he'd forgotten what was on his side of it. The miscarriage. The guilt of not being there. The three years of carrying it quietly and moving forward and never saying I am still inside this, I never actually left this. The question she had asked him — are you happy — and how he had said I love you because it was true and also because he was a coward.

When he finished the room was very quiet.

Then Jimin said, simply: "You never told us you felt this way, hyung."

Jin looked at him.

"How can we fix something," Namjoon said, "if we don't know it's broken?"

The words hit him somewhere specific.

He sat with them for exactly four seconds.

And then he stood up.

"Thank you," he said. "For listening. I need to go."

"Hyung—" someone started.

"I need to go," he said again, and he was already moving, already out the door, already down the corridor with his jacket half on, because Namjoon was right, Namjoon was completely right, and he was not going to lose his wife over his inability to say the true thing to the person who had always deserved it most.

He got to his car.

He was driving before he had fully decided to be driving, the city moving past him in the dark, the streets wet from the rain that had been falling since early evening, and he was going too fast, he knew he was going too fast but he needed to get there, he needed to say the thing before another hour passed with it unsaid—

The light ahead turned green.

Then red.

He hit the brake.

The wet road.

The slide.

A sound he did not have time to process.

Author's Note: Yes, several bricks were kissed before being violently thrown at you on this one. i am so sorry. i am not sorry at all. both things are true.

okay so. i need to say a few things before anything else.

first — trigger warning for pregnancy loss. i want to be really clear about that before anyone goes into this chapter without knowing. the miscarriage storyline is handled with as much care as i know how to give it, but i know it's a topic that can hit very differently depending on where you are in your own life. please take care of yourselves. 🤍

second — this chapter is personal. more personal than most things i've written. i wanted to write it with the rawness it deserves. not as a plot device. as a real thing that happens to real people and changes them in ways that don't announce themselves.

the core of this story — the thing i keep coming back to — is that these two people are not broken because they love each other too little or because they made a terrible mistake or because they don't know each other. they are broken because they love each other so much that they have spent years trying to protect the other person from their own pain. they have been so busy taking care of each other that they forgot to tell each other the truth. and i think that's the most real kind of broken there is. the kind that sneaks up on you. the kind where you're standing in your kitchen at six in the morning trying to find the exact moment the space opened and realizing you can't, because it didn't happen all at once. it happened slowly, in all the small things you set down without saying you were setting them down.

i also did something in this chapter i have never done in the main series before — a POV change. jin gets his own section. and that was entirely intentional, because this is a story about both of them. every other story in this series centers the reader's experience, and that's by design. but for jin and his wife, i needed you to be inside his head too. i needed you to see that the space between them looks the same from both sides.

there is so much more coming. part four and part five are going to have a lot of real, hard, healing conversations — and some things that are going to make you want to throw your phone and then immediately pick it back up. as i always say: i don't write sad endings. every brick i throw, i kiss first. everything is going to be okay. just not yet.

and finally — coming very soon: the don't look at me like that teaser (jimin finally gets his moment 👀), the what happens when you fall special summer chapter, and the summer chapter for this series as well. i am so excited i can barely stand it.

thank you for reading this one. thank you for trusting me with the hard chapters. these two mean everything to me.

— ria 🍞

ps. yes. that ending happened. no i will not be taking questions at this time. ps. 2 If you want to be on the tag list send me an ask or comment below!!

Tag list: @whoisbts @sexytholland @btsevxn @kacythecarat @granataepfelchen @goawaysha @unknownbeknowst @joonmonjagi @cherryblossom1234567890 @blamgyuuuu @swagtimemachinecherryblossom @leftmensh @mikrokookiex @busanbby-jjk @jungkook97l @singularitypromise @angelarin @cherrycheolie @proudnoona @leeknowsbigtoe @pleasantheartsworld @lobbera @pinklasagna04

[inkedwithcharm]

Our Last Summer [1/2] | Kim Seokjin

Kim Seokjin × Reader (Y/N)

Genre: Romance • Friends to Lovers • Second Chance • Slow Burn • Mutual Pining • Angst • Mature

Sypnosis: The sea gave you your first love. Time took him away. Now, after years apart, one unexpected return will force you to face the life, and the heart, you left behind.

A/N: Hi, lovelies! I have a little surprise for you, another Seokjin story. Before anything else, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for always supporting my stories. Every comment, reblog, like, and message means so much to me, and I’m so grateful you’re here sharing these journeys with me.

I hope Our Last Summer becomes a story you’ll love as much as I loved writing it. It’s a slow-burn romance wrapped in nostalgia, healing, and all the bittersweet feelings that summer leaves behind. Part 2 will be posted tomorrow, if we have electricity. There’s a typhoon expected to pass through our area, so I’m crossing my fingers that the power stays on. If there are any delays, I promise I’ll upload it as soon as everything is back to normal. Until then, I hope you enjoy reading, and thank you for being here. Happy reading! 🤍

The camera never cared about the truth. Only the story it could sell. For three weeks, your face had belonged to everyone except yourself. It stared back from the glowing screens suspended above subway platforms. It smiled stiffly from magazine covers stacked inside convenience stores. It followed you through endless headlines that reduced years of love, sacrifice, and ambition into a handful of carefully chosen words.

ARCHITECT LEFT AT THE ALTAR.

REAL ESTATE DYNASTY’S FAIRYTALE ENGAGEMENT ENDS IN SCANDAL.

WHO REALLY WALKED AWAY?

Everyone seemed desperate to know what had happened. No one asked how it felt.

By the end, you had stopped reading the articles altogether. They were no longer writing about you. They were writing about the woman they’d invented, a polished stranger who wore designer heels and heartbreak equally well.

Somewhere beneath the cameras, the interviews, and the relentless speculation, you had quietly disappeared. So, one rainy evening, without announcing it to anyone, you packed a single leather suitcase. You turned off your phone, and you left.

The bus pulled away from the tiny Haedam terminal with a tired groan, disappearing around the curve of the coastal road until only silence remained.

You stood alone beneath the faded terminal sign, your suitcase beside your feet. The sea breeze greeted you before anything else. It smelled exactly the same.

Salt. Cold morning air. Wet stone.

Drying seaweed tangled against old wooden docks.

The scent reached somewhere impossibly deep inside you, awakening memories you hadn’t realized were still alive.

You hadn’t been back in ten years. Ten summers. Ten birthdays. Ten winters that never smelled like the ocean.

The village hadn’t changed. The old bakery still leaned slightly toward the road. The fish market awnings fluttered lazily in the wind. A pair of elderly women swept their front steps while discussing someone else’s business before sunrise. Time had continued here without asking whether you planned to return.

Your grandfather used to say the sea disliked people who rushed.

“The tide always comes back,” he would tell you whenever you complained about how slowly life moved in Haedam.

“Everything important does.”

You wished he had been right about everything.

The walk to his house felt both familiar and foreign. Wildflowers pushed through cracks in the stone path. Hydrangeas, left untended for years, spilled over the fence in wild shades of blue and lavender. The wooden gate groaned exactly as it always had. You almost expected your grandfather to call from the porch.

“You’re late.”

“Dinner’s getting cold.”

Instead… Only silence.

The house stood exactly where memory had left it.

Smaller. Older. Lonelier.

White paint peeled away from the wooden walls in curling strips. The windows were fogged by years of sea salt. The wind chime hanging beneath the eaves clinked softly against itself, as though greeting an old friend.

Your fingers trembled slightly as you unlocked the front door. The familiar scent met you immediately.

Dust. Old books. Sun-warmed wood.

A faint trace of tobacco lingering stubbornly inside the walls despite three years of absence.

You closed your eyes. For one impossible second, you were sixteen again. Your grandfather was humming in the kitchen. Rice steamed on the stove. Someone laughed outside. Someone...

No. Just memory.

When you opened your eyes again, sunlight fell across empty furniture wrapped beneath white sheets. You carried your suitcase inside. It landed softly on the floor. You didn’t unpack, because you couldn’t bring yourself to decide where anything belonged anymore.

For years, your life had revolved around blueprints.

Measurements. Deadlines. Precision.

Every line drawn with purpose. Every building carefully planned before the first stone ever touched the ground. Yet somewhere along the way, you had forgotten how to build a life.

Sleep never came. Every time you closed your eyes, another camera flash exploded behind your eyelids. Questions you never answered. Smiles you had forced. Hands you had finally let go of. By four-thirty, the darkness inside the house had become unbearable. You slipped into an oversized cream sweater, shoved your hands into its sleeves, and quietly stepped outside. The village still slept, only the harbor was awake.

The wooden pier stretched into the East Sea like a path leading nowhere. Mist drifted across the water in slow, ghostly ribbons. The horizon hadn’t yet decided whether it wanted to become morning. You walked without thinking. One foot after another. The planks creaked beneath your sneakers. Water slapped gently against weathered pilings below.

The sea breathed. In. Out. In. Out.

For the first time in weeks, your own breathing matched it. The weight inside your chest loosened. You leaned against the old railing and watched darkness slowly surrender to dawn.

Then, a deep thud echoed across the harbor. Wood striking wood. Curiosity drew your gaze toward the farthest dock. Beyond the curtain of sea mist, a cargo vessel rested quietly against the private berth once owned by the old fishing cooperative.

Someone stood aboard. Lifting enormous cedar beams from the deck one by one. Even from this distance, his movements were unmistakably practiced.

No wasted effort. No unnecessary speed. Each plank settled exactly where it belonged. Strong hands, steady shoulders. The kind of quiet confidence earned only through years of repetition.

You found yourself walking before realizing you’d moved. The mist shifted. Morning light spread gently across the harbor. The figure became clearer. Broad shoulders filled out a faded charcoal work shirt rolled to his forearms. His skin had darkened beneath countless summers beneath the sun. Fine cedar dust clung to powerful arms marked by thin white scars.

He lowered the final timber onto the dock. The sound rolled across the quiet harbor like distant thunder. Straightening slowly, he brushed sawdust from his hands. Then he looked up. His eyes found yours immediately. Your heartbeat stopped. Ten years collapsed into a single breath.

Kim Seokjin.

The cheerful boy who used to race you down these docks no longer existed. In his place stood a man.

Older. Broader.

His features had sharpened with time, softened only by the quiet steadiness resting beneath them. His dark hair was slightly longer than you remembered, falling across his forehead in loose strands dampened by the sea breeze. His hands, once always scraped from climbing rocks and repairing fishing nets, were larger now, stronger, carrying the unmistakable imprint of years spent shaping wood.

He looked… like Haedam itself.

Weathered. Enduring.

Beautiful in a way that only time could create.

Your lips parted instinctively. You waited for the grin that always arrived before his words. For the teasing remark about city girls waking before sunrise. For your name. None of it came. He simply looked at you. Long enough to notice the shadows beneath your eyes. The expensive sweater that belonged to another world. The exhaustion you wore more visibly than any designer label.

And you looked back. Searching for the seventeen-year-old boy who once promised to build impossible boats and impossible futures. All you found was a decade neither of you knew how to cross.

The harbor remained perfectly still. Even the gulls seemed to have forgotten how to sing. Neither of you spoke. Neither of you smiled. Between you stretched ten silent years. Years measured not by calendars, but by missed birthdays, unanswered calls, letters that never arrived, and summers that slipped quietly into memory.

The sea rolled gently against the pier. As though it had been waiting all this time. As though it already knew something neither of you had yet found the courage to believe.

Some tides, no matter how far they wander…

always find their way home.

A gull cried overhead. The sound carried you backward. Not by days or months, but by an entire lifetime. Back to the first summer you ever came to hate the sea.

At fifteen, you were convinced Haedam was the most boring place on earth. Every June, just as Seoul came alive with festivals, cafés crowded with students, and plans stretching endlessly into summer nights, your parents packed you onto a bus heading three hours east without so much as asking whether you wanted to go.

“It’ll only be for a few weeks,” your mother would say while fastening an expensive watch around her wrist, already distracted by another business call. “Your grandfather misses you.”

Your father barely looked up from the stack of blueprints spread across the dining table. His company had just secured another stretch of coastline for its newest luxury resort, and every conversation in the house revolved around investors, permits, and expansion. Haedam was never part of those conversations. It was simply convenient. A quiet place to leave their daughter while they built bigger dreams elsewhere.

You used to imagine they would miss you after you left. That perhaps, on the second or third night, they would realize how empty the house felt without you and drive across the country to bring you home. They never did.

Every summer, the bus returned exactly when it was supposed to. Not a day earlier. Not a day later. By the third year, you stopped waiting for surprises.

Haedam became something to endure. There were no department stores, no cinemas, no cafés where teenagers lingered until sunset. Your phone lost signal more often than it worked, and the internet crawled so slowly that even sending a photograph felt impossible.

The villagers knew one another by name, greeting every passerby as though privacy had never been invented. They woke before sunrise, measured time by the tides instead of clocks, and somehow found endless things to talk about while peeling squid or mending fishing nets.

To fifteen-year-old you, it felt like the entire village had been abandoned by time. Your grandfather loved it. You counted the days until you could leave it.

“You’ll understand someday,” he often said, smiling as he watered the vegetable garden behind the house. “The sea teaches patience.”

You rolled your eyes every single time. You didn’t want patience, you wanted Seoul.

The rain began shortly after lunch. A slow drizzle at first, barely enough to dampen the rooftops, before thick gray clouds swallowed the sky whole. By evening, the village had disappeared beneath sheets of relentless summer rain.

Your grandfather had gone to help repair a neighbor’s leaking roof, leaving you with strict instructions not to wander too far. Naturally, you did exactly that. Pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head, you marched toward the harbor with the kind of dramatic indignation only fifteen-year-olds could sustain.

Your sneakers splashed through puddles. The rain soaked your jeans within minutes. “This place is unbelievable,” you muttered under your breath. “Who actually likes living here?”

The sea answered with another wave crashing against the breakwater. You kicked a loose pebble into the water. It disappeared without ceremony. Just like every summer you spent here.

The pier stretched ahead, slick with rainwater and streaks of dark green kelp left behind by the morning tide. You barely noticed your footing, too busy composing imaginary complaints you planned to unleash the moment you returned to Seoul.

You took one more step. Your foot landed squarely on the slick ribbon of seaweed. Everything happened at once. The world lurched sideways. The sky spun. Your balance vanished beneath you. Before you could even scream, the dock disappeared from under your feet. The harbor swallowed you whole. The cold stole your breath first. Then your sense of direction. Saltwater rushed into your nose as panic clawed through every instinct you had. You flailed blindly, unable to tell where the surface was. The heavy rain blurred what little light reached beneath the water, turning everything into shifting shades of gray. You had never realized how terrifying silence could be.

Above the surface, the storm continued. Below it, there was nothing except darkness. Then—

Something grabbed your wrist. A powerful tug pulled you upward. Your head burst through the surface with a violent gasp. Air rushed into your lungs so quickly it hurt, followed immediately by an embarrassing fit of coughing that left your eyes stinging with tears. Strong arms hooked beneath your shoulders and hauled you toward the dock with practiced ease. A moment later, you collapsed onto rain-soaked timber, coughing seawater onto the planks. You lay there shivering, too stunned to move. Then laughter echoed above you, completely unapologetic.

“You should’ve seen your face.”

Your head snapped up. Standing over you was a boy about your age, drenched from head to toe, dark hair plastered across his forehead by the rain. His sleeves were rolled carelessly to his elbows, revealing lean forearms scratched with tiny cuts that looked as though they had healed and reopened a hundred times. A coil of fishing rope rested over one shoulder, and despite having just jumped into the harbor after a complete stranger, he looked far more amused than concerned. “You looked exactly like a flounder.”

You blinked. “What?”

“A flounder,” he repeated, grinning so widely that his eyes nearly disappeared. “You know…” He flailed his arms dramatically. “Splash. Splash.”

“I almost drowned!”

“I noticed.”

“And you’re laughing!”

“I am.”

“You are the rudest person I’ve ever met.”

His grin only widened. “I’m the one who pulled you out.”

“I didn’t ask you to laugh about it.”

“No,” he admitted cheerfully, “but it was really funny.”

You stared at him in complete disbelief. This ridiculous boy had just rescued your life and somehow managed to irritate you within the span of thirty seconds. He crouched beside you and offered a hand. “Can you stand?”

You ignored it. “I can stand by myself.”

You pushed yourself upright. Immediately, your soaked sneaker slipped again. Before you could tumble back into the harbor, he caught your elbow. “There it is again,” he laughed. “The flounder.”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t even know my name.”

“I don’t need to.”

He finally released your arm before extending his hand once more, this time with surprising sincerity.“I’m Kim Seokjin.”

For a brief moment, neither of you spoke. Rain drummed softly against the wooden pier. A fishing boat bell chimed somewhere beyond the mist. You looked at the hand waiting patiently between you before accepting it with reluctant fingers. His palm was warm despite the rain. Rough, too, carrying the faint texture of splintered wood and fishing rope. He smelled of cedar shavings, sea salt, and sunlight lingering beneath fresh rain, a scent that somehow belonged entirely to him.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Seoul?”

You frowned. “How did you know?”

He smiled as though the answer were obvious. “You looked offended the moment you got off the bus.”

Against your better judgment, a laugh escaped. The first one you’d laughed all summer. Seokjin noticed. He didn’t say anything. He simply smiled to himself, as though he’d already decided something. The city girl who hated the sea was going to be far more interesting than the sea itself.

No one could remember exactly when Kim Seokjin and the girl from Seoul stopped being strangers. Perhaps it happened the afternoon he taught you how to bait a fishing hook without flinching. Perhaps it was the evening you finally accepted the steamed sweet potato his mother had wrapped in newspaper because she noticed you had skipped lunch again. Or perhaps it happened so quietly that no one, not even the two of you, noticed until one summer simply flowed into the next, and it became impossible to imagine Haedam without seeing you together.

After that rainy afternoon on the pier, Seokjin seemed to appear everywhere. Waiting outside your grandfather’s gate with two rusted bicycles before breakfast. Calling your name beneath your bedroom window because the tide was low enough to catch crabs. Dragging you across beaches, forests, and hidden coves with the unwavering confidence of someone convinced the world held something beautiful around every corner.

You complained constantly. The rocks were slippery. The sun was too hot. The ocean smelled strange. Your shoes were ruined. Your hands were dirty. Seokjin only laughed. “You’ve got a complaint ready for everything.”

“And you’re annoying.”

“But you still came.”

You hated admitting he had a point.

The sea slowly became less frightening beneath his patient guidance. He showed you where tiny crabs hid beneath smooth rocks exposed during low tide and how to slide your fingers behind their shells before they could pinch you. The first time you managed to catch one without shrieking, he applauded so dramatically that fishermen across the shoreline turned to look, leaving you bright red with embarrassment while he nearly doubled over laughing.

By the following summer, you no longer hesitated to wade into the tide beside him. Your city shoes were replaced with worn rubber boots. Your perfectly manicured nails disappeared beneath stubborn traces of sand. You learned how to untangle fishing nets without tearing them, how to tell tomorrow’s weather by watching the clouds gather above the horizon, and why every boat in the harbor carried a name instead of a number.

“The sea remembers names,” Seokjin explained one evening as the two of you sat at the end of the breakwater, legs dangling above the water.

“You’re making that up.”

You rolled your eyes. Yet somehow, you remembered every word.

The summers settled into a rhythm all their own. Before dawn, the harbor came alive beneath a sky still painted in deep shades of blue. You stood shoulder to shoulder beside Seokjin at the fish market, clumsily weighing baskets of squid while sleepy fishermen teased your hopeless bargaining skills. Elderly grandmothers slipped extra rice cakes into your hands because you looked too thin. By midmorning, the market echoed with laughter, gulls circled overhead, and the smell of grilled mackerel drifted through every narrow alley.

Afternoons belonged to adventure. You raced bicycles along winding coastal roads lined with wild hydrangeas, neither of you willing to admit who had won because both of you insisted the other had cheated. After typhoons, you searched the beaches for shells polished smooth by the waves, filling old glass jars until your grandfather complained there was no room left in the house. On especially clear days, Seokjin led you to the cliffs overlooking the East Sea, where pods of dolphins occasionally surfaced beyond the breakwater, their sleek backs glimmering silver beneath the afternoon sun before vanishing into endless blue.

Every discovery felt enormous because he celebrated the ordinary as though it were miraculous. A perfectly shaped shell. The season’s first squid. A cloud that looked like a whale. You had spent your entire childhood surrounded by people chasing bigger things. Seokjin somehow made smaller things feel infinite.

When August arrived, the nights grew warm enough to linger outside long after the village lights had gone dark. The two of you would sit at the end of the wooden pier sharing a single cup of instant ramen because neither of you wanted to walk home yet. Steam curled into the cool night air as the stars slowly multiplied overhead, reflected so clearly upon the calm sea that it became impossible to tell where the sky ended and the water began.

One summer, the annual Perseid meteor shower painted streaks of white across the heavens. “There,” Seokjin whispered, pointing upward.

“I missed it.”

“You blinked.”

“I didn’t blink.”

“You definitely blinked.”

“I hate watching stars with you.”

“You’ll still come next year.”

You looked at him. “I probably will.”

He smiled without saying another word.

By then, neither of you noticed how naturally your shoulders brushed together whenever you sat side by side. Silence no longer felt awkward. Sometimes hours passed with only the sound of waves filling the space between you, and somehow those became the conversations you remembered most.

Without realizing it, Haedam stopped feeling like exile. The bus ride there became something you anticipated instead of dreaded. Each June, you found yourself packing days before your parents reminded you. The countdown you once kept until returning to Seoul quietly disappeared, replaced by an entirely different one, the number of days until summer began again.

Your grandfather noticed first. “You smile more here.”

“I do not.”

He chuckled over the rim of his teacup. “Then why do you only laugh like that when Seokjin’s around?”

You nearly choked on your rice.

The village noticed too. In Haedam, nothing remained secret for long. Whenever the two of you walked through the morning market together, elderly women exchanged knowing smiles over baskets of anchovies. Fishermen nudged one another as Seokjin instinctively reached for your wrist whenever the docks became too crowded. Children giggled whenever they spotted the two of you riding the same bicycle home after yours inevitably developed another mysterious flat tire.

“So,” Grandma Hyeon would ask while setting bowls of handmade noodles in front of you, “when are you two finally admitting it?”

“Admitting what?” you replied.

“That you like each other.”

The answer always came at exactly the same time.“We’re just friends.”

The entire restaurant burst into laughter. No one believed you. Perhaps, somewhere deep inside, neither did you.

But friendship felt safe. Friendship couldn’t be ruined by distance. Friendship didn’t ask frightening questions about forever. So every summer, you repeated the same lie until it almost sounded true.“We’re just friends.”

The sea, patient as ever, kept its own counsel. It watched the lingering glances, the hands that reached for one another without thinking, the quiet smiles shared across crowded markets and moonlit piers. The tide understood what neither of you was ready to name.

Some stories don’t begin with a confession. Some begin with years of choosing the same person, over and over again, until love becomes so woven into ordinary days that it feels indistinguishable from breathing.

The summer you turned seventeen arrived wrapped in golden afternoons and restless skies. By then, Haedam had become inseparable from Seokjin. You could no longer think of the village without thinking of him first, the boy waiting outside your grandfather’s gate with a bicycle missing one pedal, the boy who knew exactly when the tide would change, the boy who somehow managed to make every ordinary day feel like an adventure worth remembering.

It happened near the end of August. The morning had begun bright enough to convince the entire village that the typhoon forecast was wrong. Fishermen pushed their boats farther out than usual, children chased one another across the beach collecting seashells, and laundry danced lazily beneath the warm sea breeze.

Then the sky changed. Dark clouds gathered over the horizon with startling speed, swallowing the sunlight until the sea turned the color of weathered steel. The wind arrived first, carrying the sharp scent of rain and salt, followed moments later by a crack of thunder that rolled across the coastline.

“Run!” Seokjin laughed, already grabbing your wrist.

You barely had time to protest before the heavens opened. Rain crashed onto the harbor in heavy sheets, drenching both of you within seconds. The narrow streets emptied almost instantly as villagers hurried indoors, laughing while balancing baskets over their heads.

You and Seokjin sprinted toward the nearest shelter. His father’s workshop. The old building stood just beyond the docks, its weathered cedar walls darkened by decades of sea wind. Seokjin shoved open the heavy wooden door, and the two of you stumbled inside, breathless and soaked, just as another roar of thunder shook the windows. The rain continued hammering against the roof. Inside, however, the world felt wonderfully still.

The workshop carried a scent unlike anywhere else in Haedam. Fresh cedar, warm pine resin, machine oil, old varnish. Salt embedded so deeply into the timber that even the walls seemed to breathe the ocean. Half-finished boats rested on wooden cradles throughout the room, their curved hulls resembling sleeping giants waiting patiently for the tide. Hand tools lined the walls in perfect order, planes polished smooth from decades of use, chisels worn by careful hands, coils of thick rope, brass fittings, and neatly stacked planks waiting for their turn to become something beautiful. You wandered slowly between them. “I think this place smells exactly like you.”

Seokjin looked up from wringing rainwater out of his sleeves. “What does that mean?”

“Cedar.” You inhaled dramatically. “And seawater.”

“And?”

“…A little bit like fish.”

He stared at you in mock offense. “I do not smell like fish.”

“You absolutely do.”

“My mother would disagree.”

“Your mother is biased.”

He laughed, the sound echoing warmly through the workshop. “You smell like Seoul.”

You frowned. “What does Seoul smell like?”

He tilted his head as though considering it seriously “Books.”

“Books?”

“And coffee.”

“I don’t even drink coffee.”

“I know.”

“So that doesn’t make sense.”

He smiled. “It doesn’t have to.”

Before you could answer, another rumble of thunder rattled the roof. The lights flickered once before disappearing completely. Only the gray afternoon filtering through the windows remained. “I guess we’re trapped,” you sighed.

“There are worse places.”

He was right. The workshop didn’t feel abandoned, it felt alive. Every scratch across the wooden floor carried the memory of another boat built by loving hands. Every unfinished hull seemed to hold a story waiting for its ending. Your eyes wandered toward an old storage shelf tucked into the corner of the room. Something rested beneath a faded canvas cloth.

Curious, you lifted it. A worn leather sketchbook. The cover was cracked with age, its corners softened by years of careful handling. Dust scattered into the air as you brushed your fingers across it. “What’s this?”

Seokjin glanced over. “Oh.”

He smiled. “My father used to keep all his old designs in there.”

You settled cross-legged on the floor and opened the first page. Instead of neat engineering drawings, you found rough pencil sketches of fishing boats dating back decades. Some pages contained measurements written hastily in faded ink. Others held tiny notes in the margins, changes to make, mistakes to avoid, reminders written by craftsmen whose hands had shaped almost every vessel resting in Haedam Harbor. You turned another page, another, until you reached the first blank sheet. “So…”

You picked up a pencil lying nearby. “What would your dream boat look like?”

Seokjin blinked. “My dream boat?”

“You’ve fixed everyone else’s.”

“So?”

“What about yours?”

He sat beside you, knees brushing lightly against yours. For the first time since you’d met him, he didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he looked down at the empty page. “I’ve never thought about it.”

“Liar.”

“I haven’t.”

“You think about boats all the time.”

“I think about work.”

“That’s different.”

“So tell me.”

You rested the pencil against the paper. “If nobody told you what a boat should look like… what would you build?”

The question lingered between you. Outside, rain continued drumming against the roof. Inside, something quietly shifted. Seokjin reached over and drew the first line. A long sweeping curve. The outline of a hull. “It has to be made from cedar,” he said. “Strong enough to survive storms.”

You nodded thoughtfully before adding your own lines above his. “And enormous windows.”

He looked horrified. “Glass?”

“So you can see the ocean from inside.”

“Glass breaks.”

“Not if I design it.”

He laughed. “Fine.”

He handed the pencil back. You sketched confidently, years before either of you realized architecture would become your future. “A rooftop deck.”

“For what?”

“Watching meteor showers.”

“You can do that from the beach.”

“But this is better.”

He pretended to consider it. “…You’re right.”

The ideas came faster after that. Deep blue canvas sails that would catch even the gentlest wind. A tiny galley kitchen where someone could make ramen at midnight. Built-in bookshelves lining the cabin walls. A table just large enough for two people. Hidden compartments beneath the floor. A hammock stretching across the bow. Lanterns hanging from polished beams. You filled page after page together, laughing whenever one of you suggested something completely impractical. “You know this boat doesn’t make any sense.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“It’ll never fit inside the harbor.”

“We’ll make the harbor bigger.”

He shook his head, smiling. “You really think architects can solve everything.”

“You really think wood can.”

He glanced down at the sketchbook. Neither of you noticed when the rain stopped. The afternoon slipped quietly into evening, yet neither of you moved. By the time the final page was filled, the impossible little boat felt strangely real. “What should we call her?” you asked softly.

Seokjin looked through the workshop window toward the sea, where the setting sun painted ribbons of gold across calm water. Then he smiled. “Summer Tide.”

You wrote the name carefully across the top of the page. Summer Tide. The words somehow completed the drawing. For a while, neither of you spoke. You simply admired the dream resting between you. Finally, Seokjin broke the silence. “When we’re adults…”

His voice was quieter than usual. He turned toward you, his eyes reflecting the last amber light filtering through the workshop windows. “I’ll build her.”

You searched his face, expecting another joke. There wasn’t one. He meant every word. The boat on those pages was impossible. Too ambitious, too expensive, too full of dreams for two teenagers who owned little more than a sketchbook and a summer. Yet somehow… looking into his eyes, you believed him without question. Smiling, you extended your pinky toward him. “It’s a promise.”

Seokjin hooked his finger around yours without hesitation. “It’s a promise.”

The sketchbook was never meant to become a love story. It was supposed to hold measurements, calculations, and impossible ideas drawn by two teenagers who believed dreams could simply be penciled into existence. Instead, somewhere between one summer and the next, it quietly became the place where the two of you left pieces of yourselves behind.

The first changes were almost accidental. A note scribbled in the margin after a long day at sea. A crooked little drawing squeezed into an empty corner of the page. A date circled because neither of you wanted to forget it. By the following summer, neither of you remembered who had started it. Only that the blank spaces never stayed blank for long.

One afternoon, while Seokjin disappeared to help his father unload the morning catch, you stole the sketchbook from the workshop shelf and opened it to the page where the galley kitchen was carefully sketched. Beneath the tiny stove, you wrote in neat handwriting: Jin caught three octopuses today and acted like he’d conquered the entire ocean. He made everyone clap for him. Including me.

You closed the book before he returned, fighting a smile. You forgot about it. Until the next morning. The sketchbook landed in your lap while the two of you sat beneath the lighthouse eating steamed corn. Confused, you opened it. Below your sentence, written in much messier handwriting, was a reply. Correction: Four octopuses. One escaped because somebody screamed so loudly it scared it away. You burst into laughter. “It surprised me.”

“It surprised the octopus too.”

You grabbed the nearest towel and threw it at him. He caught it effortlessly. “You know,” he said, trying very hard not to laugh, “your aim is getting better.”

“My aim has always been good.”

“You missed me.”

“I wasn’t aiming for you.”

“Liar.”

From then on, the sketchbook developed a life of its own. It no longer waited for storms or rainy afternoons inside the workshop. It traveled everywhere. Sometimes tucked beneath Seokjin’s arm. Sometimes forgotten inside your grandfather’s kitchen. Sometimes balanced between the two of you while sitting at the end of the pier long after everyone else had gone home. The blueprints remained. But around them… life quietly bloomed. Beside the panoramic windows, Seokjin once wrote: Y/N says sunsets look prettier through glass. I still think they’re prettier sitting beside her. He crossed out the final three words so aggressively the paper nearly tore. You pretended not to notice.

Near the rooftop deck, you drew an embarrassingly terrible sketch of Seokjin asleep beneath the stars, mouth slightly open. The caption read: Captain Summer Tide snores louder than seagulls.

When he found it, he spent nearly twenty minutes insisting he did no such thing.

Some pages became records of victories only the two of you understood. Y/N finally touched a crab without screaming. Beside it, you added: For exactly three seconds. Then I screamed. Progress.

Another page read: Lost bicycle race. Seokjin insists he won fairly. I suspect cheating. Investigation ongoing.

His response appeared underneath the next day. Architects should stop making excuses and pedal faster.

You spent the rest of the afternoon refusing to speak to him. He lasted eighteen minutes before apologizing with strawberry ice cream. Neither of you ever admitted that he had actually won.

The sketchbook slowly stopped documenting the boat. Instead, it documented everything the boat represented. The first dolphin you saw together beyond the breakwater. The old fisherman who claimed whales brought good luck. The day your grandfather accidentally burned lunch because he had fallen asleep listening to baseball on the radio. The night Haedam lost power during a summer storm, leaving the entire village illuminated only by candles while Seokjin played his father’s old guitar outside the workshop until nearly midnight.

Even ordinary afternoons became worth preserving. A shell glued carefully into one corner. A pressed hydrangea tucked between two pages. Movie ticket stubs from the tiny cinema two towns away. Receipts from convenience store ramen shared at two in the morning. Tiny pieces of an ordinary life that somehow felt extraordinary simply because you had lived it together.

By eighteen, the two of you had become so inseparable that people rarely said one name without immediately mentioning the other. “If Seokjin’s here, Y/N can’t be far.”

The village simply accepted it as fact. So did your grandfather.

One evening, he found the two of you asleep on the porch swing, the sketchbook balanced across your laps. He smiled quietly, lifted a blanket over your shoulders, and whispered to himself, “Some people spend their whole lives looking for home.”

Neither of you heard him. You slept through the entire sunset.

As the years passed, something subtle began to change. The space between your shoulders disappeared whenever you walked together. Conversations grew quieter, no longer needing jokes to fill every silence. When you laughed, Seokjin found himself watching your smile longer than whatever had caused it. When he smiled, you often forgot what you had been about to say. Without thinking, he reached for your hand whenever the harbor became crowded. Without thinking, you let him. His fingers lingered a heartbeat longer before letting go. Neither of you acknowledged it. Neither wanted to.

There were moments that almost became confessions. Watching meteor showers stretched across the rooftop of the workshop while your shoulders rested comfortably against one another. Standing ankle-deep in seawater at sunset as the tide curled around your feet. Sharing a single umbrella that somehow left both of you equally soaked. Looking up at him after laughing too hard to breathe, only to discover he had already been looking at you. Time seemed to pause during moments like those. The world shrank until only the two of you remained. Then someone would clear their throat. A fisherman would call Seokjin’s name. Your grandfather would announce dinner. Reality always returned before courage could arrive.

Because friendship was easy. Friendship didn’t ask impossible questions. It didn’t wonder what would happen when summer ended. It didn’t force either of you to imagine life after graduation.

Love did, and love carried the terrifying possibility of losing the one person who had quietly become the center of every season. So neither of you crossed the invisible line waiting patiently between you. Instead, you pretended not to notice it.

You hid inside familiar routines. Morning markets. Late-night ramen. Bike rides. Meteor showers. Another page. Another memory. Another summer.

Near the back of the sketchbook, tucked beside the final blueprint of Summer Tide, someone eventually wrote a single sentence in careful pencil. Neither of you could remember who wrote it first. Perhaps it didn’t matter. We’ll build this someday.

Years later, you would discover that those four words had never been about the boat. They had always been about the life you were too young, too frightened, and too hopeful to name.

The last summer before adulthood arrived far too quickly. One moment, the two of you were still racing bicycles down the coastal road, arguing over who had cheated during the latest race. The next, university acceptance letters lay folded inside your backpacks, quietly reminding you that the life you had always known was nearing its end.

You had been accepted into one of Seoul’s most prestigious architecture programs. Seokjin had earned admission to a maritime engineering college several hours south of Haedam, where he planned to study traditional shipbuilding before returning home to modernize his father’s workshop.

For the first time since you were fifteen, the future no longer pointed in the same direction. Neither of you talked about it very much. Instead, you spent that final summer pretending nothing had changed. You still woke before sunrise to help unload fishing boats at the harbor. You still argued over instant ramen flavors at the convenience store. You still filled the sketchbook with ridiculous notes and impossible ideas, as though another summer would always arrive waiting for the two of you. Perhaps that was easier than admitting the truth. You had never learned how to say goodbye.

The annual Haedam Squid Festival arrived on the final weekend before both of you were scheduled to leave for university. It was the biggest celebration of the year. By late afternoon, the sleepy fishing village had transformed into something almost magical. Strings of warm lanterns stretched across narrow streets, glowing softly as twilight settled over the coastline. Food stalls lined the harbor, their grills hissing with fresh squid brushed in sweet soy glaze while clouds of fragrant smoke drifted lazily through the evening air. Children darted between laughing families carrying glowing toys, elderly couples danced to old trot songs playing from weathered speakers, and fishermen who spent most days battling rough seas suddenly looked years younger beneath the festival lights. The entire village seemed wrapped in happiness.

Your grandfather insisted on introducing you to every vendor, despite the fact that you had known them for years. “Our architect is leaving for Seoul,” he announced proudly to anyone willing to listen.

“And our Seokjin’s going to build the finest boats in Korea,” Grandma Hyeon added before stuffing another rice cake into his hand.

Seokjin rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Halmeoni…”

“What?” she teased. “I’m only telling the truth.”

You smiled. The warmth in your grandfather’s eyes made your heart ache in ways you couldn’t explain. He looked at both of you as though the future had already arrived. As though he could see something neither of you dared to imagine.

As the evening deepened, the festival grew louder. Music echoed across the harbor. The Ferris wheel turned slowly against the darkening sky. Somewhere near the pier, children counted down excitedly, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

“Come on,” Seokjin said quietly, appearing beside you with two cups of iced lemonade. “I know somewhere better.”

“Better than the festival?”

He grinned. “Much.”

Without waiting for an answer, he gently took your wrist and led you away from the crowd. You followed him through familiar alleyways, past the old market and the weathered breakwater, until the sounds of music softened behind you. The path curved upward toward the old lighthouse standing watch over Haedam’s rocky cliffs, just as it had for generations.

The grass swayed gently beneath the evening breeze. Below, waves folded endlessly against the shoreline. Above, the first stars began to appear.

“You always disappear before the fireworks,” you said.

“They’re prettier from here.”

The two of you settled beneath the lighthouse where wildflowers grew between weathered stones. From there, the entire village stretched below like a painting alive with flickering lanterns reflected across the sea. Neither of you spoke for a while. You simply watched people moving through streets that had witnessed every summer of your childhood.

“I don’t want to leave,” you admitted at last.

The words surprised even you. Seokjin looked toward the horizon. “I know.”

“I used to count the days until I could go back to Seoul.”

“I remember.”

“I don’t anymore.”

His smile was small. “I know that too.”

Silence settled comfortably between you. The kind of silence shared only by people who no longer needed words to understand one another. Far below, someone began counting. Ten. Nine. Eight.

The crowd’s voices floated upward on the sea breeze. Seven. Six. Five.

Your fingers brushed accidentally against his where they rested on the grass. Neither of you moved away. Four. Three. Two. One.

The first firework exploded high above the harbor. Gold burst across the sky like sunlight breaking apart, followed by crimson blooms that scattered over the dark sea in shimmering reflections. Another followed. Then another. Within moments, the heavens were alive with color, each explosion painting the coastline in fleeting shades of sapphire, emerald, silver, and scarlet. The light danced across Seokjin’s face. You turned to tell him how beautiful it was. He was already looking at you.

For a heartbeat, the entire world seemed to disappear. Only the quiet recognition that had been growing between you for years. Every summer morning. Every shared bowl of ramen. Every page inside the sketchbook. Every lingering glance neither of you had dared to acknowledge. It had always been leading here.

“I think…” Seokjin began softly, then stopped. You waited. He smiled nervously, looking almost younger for the first time in months. “I had this whole speech planned.”

“You did?”

“Mhmm.”

“What happened to it?”

“You looked at me.”

You laughed. “And?”

“I forgot every word.”

Another firework bloomed overhead, washing the lighthouse in brilliant blue light before fading back into darkness. Your smile lingered. “You don’t have to give a speech.”

“I don’t?”

You shook your head. “I already know.”

His eyes searched yours carefully. “You do?”

You nodded.

The realization settled gently between you. Not shocking, simply… true. As though the sea itself had known long before either of you did.

Seokjin reached up slowly, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear with fingers that trembled almost imperceptibly. “Can I kiss you?”

The question was barely louder than the wind. You answered the only way your heart knew how, by closing the distance yourself. His lips met yours with breathtaking tenderness, tentative at first, as though he feared even this might disappear if he moved too quickly. It was clumsy in the way every first kiss is, interrupted by nervous laughter and shy smiles neither of you could hide. Yet beneath that uncertainty lived years of quiet affection, patient friendship, and unspoken longing finally finding a place to rest.

When you pulled away, neither of you spoke immediately. Your foreheads remained touching. The fireworks continued blooming above the lighthouse, but neither of you noticed them anymore. The only thing either of you could hear was the shared rhythm of your breathing.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Seokjin confessed.

“How long?”

He pretended to think. “Since you stopped screaming every time you caught a crab.”

You laughed so hard you had to hide your face against his shoulder. “So… two years?”

“Maybe three.”

“I knew you liked me.”

“You were completely oblivious.”

“I was waiting for you.”

He looked genuinely surprised. “You were?”

You smiled. “I’ve been waiting since the meteor shower.”

He blinked. “The one when you pretended to fall asleep because you didn’t know what to say?”

Your silence answered for you. Seokjin groaned dramatically. “We wasted an entire year.”

“You wasted an entire year.”

“I thought you only saw me as your best friend.”

“I thought the exact same thing.”

He shook his head, laughing helplessly. “We’re both idiots.”

“The biggest.”

He reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours so naturally it felt as though they had always belonged there. Neither of you let go. The final fireworks blossomed overhead in a shower of brilliant white, illuminating the harbor one last time before the sky returned to darkness. Below, applause echoed through the village. Above, the stars quietly reclaimed the night.

“I’ll visit every chance I get,” you whispered.

“I’ll come to Seoul.”

“We’ll call.”

“Every day.”

“We’ll write.”

“I’ll send too many letters.”

“I’ll read every single one.”

You looked toward the sea stretching endlessly beyond the lighthouse. Distance suddenly felt enormous. Then Seokjin gently squeezed your hand.“It won’t matter.”

“You really believe that?”

“I do.”

He smiled with the same certainty he had worn the day he promised to build Summer Tide. “This isn’t the end of our story.”

“No?”

He looked at you with complete conviction. “It’s only the beginning.”

Standing beneath a sky still carrying the fading scent of fireworks, surrounded by the waves that had watched them grow from children into something far more fragile and beautiful, the two of you believed him. Because at eighteen, forever never feels impossible. It feels as natural as the tide returning to shore. Neither of you could have imagined that life, unlike the sea, does not always keep its promises.

Morning arrived with a quietness that felt almost cruel. The world should have looked different after last night. The sky should have been heavier. The sea should have been restless. Something, anything, should have reflected the ache blooming beneath your ribs. Instead, dawn unfolded exactly as it always had.

Soft blue light spilled across the wooden floorboards of your bedroom. The curtains swayed gently in the salt breeze drifting through the half-open window. Somewhere beyond the hill, gulls called to one another as fishing boats prepared to leave the harbor before sunrise. Haedam was waking. It had no idea your heart was breaking.

You stood beside the bed for a long time, staring at the suitcase lying open on the quilt your grandfather had sewn years ago. Yesterday it had been nothing more than luggage. Today it looked like proof that leaving was real. One sweater. Two pairs of jeans. Architecture textbooks. Your acceptance letter. A camera filled with photographs of another summer. Finally, your fingers settled on the old leather sketchbook. Its cracked cover was warm beneath your hand from where the morning sun had reached it.

You smiled despite yourself. Every page carried traces of the two of you. Blueprints. Pressed flowers. Ridiculous sketches. Tiny arguments scribbled into the margins. Fragments of ordinary days that somehow became unforgettable simply because they had been lived together. You carefully wrapped the sketchbook inside one of your sweaters before placing it on top of everything else. A knock interrupted the silence.

“Breakfast’s ready.”

Your grandfather’s voice was warm as always. You answered, but it came out quieter than you intended. “I’m coming.”

The kitchen smelled of grilled fish, rice, and soybean soup. Normally the familiar scents wrapped around you like home. This morning they only reminded you that home was about to become hundreds of kilometers away. Your grandfather kept talking while serving breakfast. He reminded you not to skip meals in Seoul. To call whenever you had time. To wear warm clothes when autumn arrived. The sort of advice he had given every summer since you were a child. You listened carefully. Because suddenly you wanted to remember every word.

When breakfast ended, he carried your suitcase to the front door before you could protest. Then he looked toward the gate and smiled knowingly. “He’s been waiting for almost an hour.”

You blinked. “What?”

“He said he didn’t want you carrying your suitcase alone.”

Your grandfather chuckled softly. “I don’t think the suitcase was the reason.”

He was sitting on the low stone wall outside the gate, elbows resting on his knees, watching the sea below the hill. The moment he heard the gate open, he looked back. Your eyes met. Neither of you smiled immediately. There was simply relief. The quiet relief of seeing someone one more time before the world asked too much of both of you. Then he stood. “I thought you might still be asleep.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Me neither.”

He picked up your suitcase before you could reach for it. Your eyes stung already.

The walk toward the terminal felt strangely unfamiliar despite being a road you had traveled countless times. Every step carried the awareness that this would be your last walk together for a long while. Neither of you hurried. You stopped to watch fishermen untangle their nets. Paused outside the bakery where warm bread cooled on wooden racks. Waited while an elderly woman slowly crossed the street carrying flowers from her garden. You stretched ordinary moments because neither of you was ready for the extraordinary one waiting at the end. Halfway there, he reached into his backpack. “I made something.”

You unfolded the cloth he handed you. Resting inside was a tiny wooden boat carved from cedar. The details stole your breath. Tiny windows. Little sails. Even the curved railing you had once drawn absentmindedly in the corner of the sketchbook. “Summer Tide.”

He nodded. “I thought maybe…”

He hesitated. “…if you missed Haedam…”

He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. You closed your fingers carefully around the little boat. It smelled exactly like his father’s workshop, like cedar, like salt, like summer, like him. “It’s beautiful.”

“It isn’t finished.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

He smiled. “I’ll finish the real one someday.”

You believed him without question.

The terminal appeared around the next bend. The bus was already waiting. Its engine hummed quietly. Passengers loaded luggage beneath the driver’s watchful eye. Reality had arrived without asking, without mercy, neither of you moved. Instead, he pulled a folded sheet of paper from his jacket pocket.

“I was up late.”

You unfolded it. Across the top he had written in crooked block letters:

Operation: Stay Close Even Far Away

Below it was a list.

Call every night. Write letters even when we have nothing important to say. Visit whenever we can. Never pretend we’re okay if we’re not. Don’t let silence become misunderstanding.

The last line was written much smaller than the others. Please don’t forget me.

The tears came before you reached the end. You tried laughing through them. “It was going so well.”

“What was?”

“I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

He stepped closer. His thumb brushed gently beneath your eye, catching a tear before it fell.

“You don’t have to be brave all the time.”

“I’m not trying to be brave.”

“No?”

“I’m trying to remember your face.”

His expression softened. “As if you could forget.”

“I’m scared I will.”

“You won’t.”

“What if I do?”

“Then I’ll remind you.”

“How?”

“I’ll keep calling until you recognize my voice.”

Another tear escaped. He smiled sadly. “I’ll write until you remember my handwriting.”

“And if that isn’t enough?”

“I’ll come home.”

You looked at him. “So you can find me again.”

The boarding announcement echoed through the station. People began climbing aboard. The driver glanced toward the two of you, then politely looked away. You wished time would simply stop.

“I don’t know how to leave.”

“What if university changes us?”

“It probably will.”

“What if we become different people?”

He was quiet for a long moment. “I hope we do.”

You stared at him. “What?”

“I don’t want either of us to stay exactly the same.”

“But…”

“I just hope…”

His voice grew softer. “…that whoever we become still chooses each other.”

That was somehow harder to hear than any promise. Because it was honest. Because growing up wasn’t about staying the same. It was about choosing each other again after changing.

He reached up and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I love you.”

The words settled between you with extraordinary simplicity.

“I love you too.”

He leaned forward. The kiss that followed carried none of last night’s nervous excitement. This one was slower, longer, as though both of you were trying to memorize something that memory alone might never preserve.

The warmth of his hands. The salt carried by the morning breeze. The quiet sound of waves somewhere below the hill. The way first love feels when it suddenly understands that love alone cannot stop time.

When you finally pulled apart, neither of you spoke. Your foreheads rested together. Eyes closed. Breathing the same air for as long as the morning would allow. The driver’s voice broke the silence gently. “We have to leave.”

You nodded, but your fingers held on for one heartbeat longer. Then another. Only when there was no more time left did they slowly slip apart.

You climbed onto the bus. Halfway up the steps, you turned back. He was still there. One hand lifted in a small wave, smiling. Trying very hard not to let you remember him crying.

The bus pulled away. He walked beside it until the road curved beyond the harbor. You watched through the window until he disappeared into the blue haze of morning. Even then, you kept looking. As though love could somehow bring someone back into view if you refused to blink. In your coat pocket, the little cedar boat rested against your palm. Outside, the sea stretched endlessly beside the road.

For the first time in your life, Haedam wasn’t simply the place you were leaving. It had become the place where your heart had chosen to stay.

The city welcomed you home without ever noticing you had been gone. By the time the taxi rolled through the wrought-iron gates of your parents’ estate, Seoul had already disappeared beneath its own glittering reflection. Towers of steel and glass shimmered against the night, traffic streamed endlessly below elevated roads, and office windows still burned with cold white light long after sunset, as though the city had forgotten how to rest.

Home had never looked so unfamiliar. The house stood exactly as you remembered it—grand, immaculate, and impossibly quiet. Marble floors reflected the crystal chandelier overhead. Fresh lilies perfumed the entrance hall. Every cushion sat perfectly arranged, every painting perfectly centered, every surface polished until it caught the light. It was beautiful. It had never felt lived in.

Your suitcase wheels echoed loudly across the floor as the housekeeper greeted you with a gentle smile.“Welcome home, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Your parents are still at the office.”

You weren’t surprised. “They asked me to prepare dinner.”

You nodded. “I’ll eat later.”

She disappeared toward the kitchen. The silence returned almost immediately. You climbed the staircase one slow step at a time until you reached the bedroom you had occupied since childhood.

Nothing had changed. The books remained arranged by color on the shelves. Your piano stood beside the window, untouched. Awards from school competitions still lined the cabinet beneath framed family photographs that seemed strangely formal now. The room had been preserved so carefully it no longer felt like yours.

You set your suitcase beside the bed. Instead of unpacking, you reached inside and removed the old leather sketchbook. Its worn cover looked wonderfully out of place among the spotless furniture. You smiled. At least one thing still belonged to the person you had become.

Downstairs, the front door opened. Your parents had finally returned. Their voices floated faintly through the hallway. “…the Jeju acquisition…”

“…construction permits…”

“…investors arrive Thursday…”

“…the Singapore project…”

Your mother laughed softly. Your father answered with numbers. The conversation drifted farther away. No one came upstairs. No one knocked on your door. You sat quietly at the edge of the bed, listening until their voices disappeared into another part of the house. For the first time, you realized loneliness could exist even inside a home.

Then your phone lit up. 10:00 PM.

A smile arrived before you even answered. “Hello?”

Wind rushed loudly through the speaker. “Can you hear me?”

Seokjin's voice broke through the static, warm and breathless.

“Barely.”

“If you can barely hear me, it means I found the right spot.”

“Where are you?”

“The lighthouse.”

“You climbed all the way up there?”

“It’s the only place in town that gets decent reception.”

“You walked thirty minutes uphill…”

“…for a phone call.”

“I’d walk three hours.”

The answer came so naturally it stole every reply you had prepared. Outside his lighthouse, waves crashed against black cliffs, their echoes rolling through the speaker between his words.

You closed your eyes. For a moment, the marble walls disappeared. You could smell salt. You could almost feel the cold wind lifting your hair.

“So…” Jin asked gently. “Did you eat?”

You smiled. Not once had he asked about the mansion, or the expensive furniture, or the famous university, only whether you had eaten.

“I wasn’t hungry.”

“You should eat anyway.”

“You sound like my grandfather.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.”

He laughed quietly.

You spent nearly an hour talking about almost nothing. The bakery had changed owners. Mrs. Han’s dog had finally stopped chasing bicycles. Someone accidentally dropped an entire basket of squid into the harbor that morning. Nothing important. Everything important. Neither of them admitted how desperately they needed the conversation.

When your phone warned that the battery was running low, neither of you moved to end the call. “I should let you sleep.”

“I know.”

“You have orientation tomorrow.”

Silence settled comfortably between you. “I miss you already.” Jin's voice was almost lost beneath the wind.

“I miss you too.”

“I’ll call tomorrow.”

“You’d better.”

He smiled, you could hear it. “What time?”

You answered together. “Ten o’clock.”

The following morning arrived too quickly. Seoul National University felt less like a campus and more like a city built entirely for ambition. Students hurried across courtyards carrying enormous portfolios. Conversations about internships, competitions, and international firms floated through the air before classes had even begun. Glass studios overlooked concrete plazas where architecture students sketched buildings instead of people.

Everyone seemed to know exactly where they were going, except you. You wandered through corridors filled with drafting tables and scale models until you finally located your classroom. The professor entered without introducing himself. He simply looked around the room before saying,

“Architecture is not about buildings.”

The room fell silent. “It is about people.”

He paused. “The day you forget that…”

“…your buildings will remain standing long after your humanity collapses.”

You wrote the sentence down. You didn’t know it then. Years later, those words would haunt you.

Several hundred kilometers away, Seokjin stepped through the gates of Busan Maritime University carrying a worn backpack and a notebook already filled with sketches of wooden hulls. Around him, conversations revolved around naval engineering, cargo logistics, and international shipping. When classmates asked what kind of vessels he wanted to build, answers came quickly.

“Tankers.”

“Container ships.”

“Luxury yachts.”

Finally someone looked at him. “And you?”

Seokjin smiled. “Fishing boats.”

The others exchanged amused glances. “Seriously?”

“They’re disappearing.”

“So?”

The conversation ended there. He didn’t mind. Some dreams required fewer explanations.

That evening, you moved into your university dormitory. Compared to your parents’ estate, it felt impossibly small. Three beds. Three desks. Three strangers trying politely not to invade one another’s lives.

One roommate talked constantly. Another had already decorated her side with fairy lights and photographs from home. Someone down the hall was singing loudly and terribly.

A door slammed, someone laughed, someone cried, someone burned instant noodles. The building buzzed with hundreds of young people beginning new lives all at once. You sat quietly on your narrow bed. Nothing smelled like cedar, nothing sounded like waves.

At exactly ten o’clock… Your phone vibrated. You hurried into the hallway before answering. “I survived.”

“So did I.”

Jin laughed.

“You should’ve seen our cafeteria.”

“Worse than mine?”

“I think the soup was legally classified as concrete.”

You burst into laughter. “My salad tasted like wet paper.”

“We’re both thriving.”

“Clearly.”

For nearly an hour, the distance disappeared. You compared professors, roommates, homework. Embarrassing orientation stories.

By the time the call ended, neither dormitory felt quite so lonely anymore. Without discussing it again, ten o’clock became sacred. No matter how exhausting the day had been…

The phone rang, every night. And every night, the distance became just a little easier to bear.

By October, they had become experts at missing each other. The first few weeks had felt almost adventurous. Everything had been new enough to share. Every lecture became a story. Every embarrassing mistake was another reason to laugh. Every phone call stretched past midnight because there was still so much they wanted the other to know. Then life found its rhythm, and its rhythm was unforgiving.

Architecture was nothing like you had imagined. The professors spoke with the certainty of people who believed buildings could outlive the people who designed them. Every project demanded another revision. Every revision revealed another flaw you had never noticed. Entire nights disappeared beneath rolls of tracing paper, sharpened pencils, foam board models, and cups of vending machine coffee that had long stopped tasting like coffee at all.

The studio became your second home. Sometimes your classmates never left. You would look up from your drafting table at three in the morning only to realize the same people were still awake, quietly sketching beneath fluorescent lights while soft instrumental music played through someone’s speakers. Nobody complained. Everyone simply kept working.

Your fingers were permanently marked with graphite. Tiny cuts from precision knives decorated your knuckles. You stopped noticing them. The architecture building smelled faintly of cardboard dust, printer ink, and exhaustion.

One afternoon your professor stopped behind your desk. He studied your design for nearly a minute before speaking. “It is beautiful.”

Relief washed over you. Then he continued. “It has no soul.”

He walked away. You stared at the model long after class ended. That evening, you rebuilt almost everything.

Meanwhile, mornings began before sunrise in Haedam. Seokjin's alarm rang at four thirty. By five, he was already helping his father push their aging fishing boat away from the pier while darkness still covered the sea.

The village was quieter now. Several boats no longer left the harbor. Fuel prices had climbed again. The catches had become smaller. Older fishermen stood on the docks discussing weather forecasts with growing concern, their conversations drifting toward debts instead of tides. Seokjin listened more than he spoke.

After returning to shore, he barely had enough time to shower before catching the bus to Busan for university. Most students complained about long lectures. Seokjin often struggled simply to stay awake through them.

His notebook slowly filled with sketches. Not luxury yachts, not cruise ships. Traditional fishing vessels. Hull reinforcements. Improved weight distribution. Environmentally safer designs.

His professors occasionally encouraged him to think bigger. He always smiled politely. To him, there was nothing small about protecting the people who had raised him.

Ten o’clock remained sacred. Until life began stealing pieces of it. One rainy evening your phone rang twenty-three minutes late.

“I’m sorry.” Seokjin's voice sounded tired.

“We had to repair one of the nets.”

“It’s okay.”

“You’ve been waiting.”

“I was studying.”

“You don’t have to pretend.”

You smiled into the darkness.

“I wasn’t pretending.”

“You always lie the same way.”

“Oh?”

“You become too cheerful.”

You laughed quietly. “So you know me that well?”

“I know everything.”

“You definitely don’t.”

“I know your left eyebrow moves first whenever you’re annoyed.”

“My what?”

“And you tap your pencil three times before erasing a drawing.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

“I’ve never noticed.”

“I have.”

Silence settled between them. Comfortable. Familiar.

“I miss you.” His voice had become softer lately.

“I miss you too.”

“How much?”

You looked toward the dormitory window where rain blurred the city lights into watercolor.

“Enough to wish Seoul had an ocean.”

He smiled. “I’d settle for a river.”

Letters continued arriving every week. Some were only two pages. Others stretched to ten. Seokjin wrote exactly the way he spoke. Simple. Honest.

He described the old fisherman who insisted every storm could be predicted by the smell of the wind. He complained about the university cafeteria’s impossible kimchi stew. He proudly included rough sketches of boats he hoped to build someday, apologizing in the margins for crooked lines because the bus kept hitting potholes.

You answered differently. Your letters wandered. They were filled with observations. The old woman who watered flowers outside the architecture building every morning. The maple tree outside your studio window. The professor who compared cathedrals to prayers built from stone.

Sometimes you tucked little pieces of your days inside the envelopes. A museum ticket. A pressed gingko leaf. A coffee receipt with a handwritten note.

This café overlooks the Han River. I kept thinking how much you’d complain about paying six thousand won for coffee.

His reply arrived five days later.

You’re right. I absolutely would. I could buy squid with that money.

You laughed so hard your roommate asked what was funny. You only shook your head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Some nights one of you fell asleep before the conversation truly began. Sometimes Seokjin answered while sanding wooden practice models in the workshop. The rhythmic scrape of sandpaper became the soundtrack to your conversations. Other nights you stayed on speaker while measuring drawings across enormous drafting tables.

Neither minded. You no longer needed constant conversation. Simply knowing the other was there somehow made the work easier.

One evening he stopped speaking altogether.

“Jin?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been quiet.”

“I like listening.”

“To what?”

“You.”

“I’m literally calculating roof loads.”

“I know.”

“…I missed your voice.”

Your pencil stopped moving. “You really are hopeless.”

“I’ve accepted that.”

November arrived carrying colder winds. The sea grew rougher. Your projects grew larger. One weekend your classmates organized a group dinner after finishing a major submission. Everyone celebrated, laughed, took photographs together.

Halfway through the meal you excused yourself. Outside, beneath strings of restaurant lights, you called Seokjin. He answered on the second ring.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“You sound strange.”

“I just wanted five minutes.”

He understood immediately. Without another question, he stayed on the line while you watched strangers walk along the river. Neither of you spoke much. Sometimes love wasn’t conversation. Sometimes it was simply refusing to let the other feel alone.

The differences between your worlds became impossible to ignore. You spent afternoons discussing sustainable skyscrapers, urban density, and international competitions. Seokjin spent his evenings repairing cracked hulls with his father beneath a single hanging workshop lamp.

Your classmates dreamed about designing city skylines in New York, London, and Dubai. Seokjin dreamed about building one fishing boat that could survive another generation.

When you described your newest design software, he listened with genuine fascination despite understanding very little. When he explained how cedar expanded after weeks at sea, you listened just as carefully. Neither pretended to understand everything. They only wanted to understand each other. Still… The spaces between those conversations slowly widened. Not enough to frighten either of you, just enough to notice.

One night the connection crackled so badly you could barely hear each other.

“Can you hear me?”

“Barely.”

“What?”

“I said barely.”

Static swallowed half the sentence. You both laughed.

“I think…”

The signal disappeared. “…you’re a robot.”

“What?”

“…said…”

“…love…”

“…hello?”

The line finally went dead. You stared at the silent screen. A minute later it rang again.

“I forgot to tell you something.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“You called back just for that?”

“I didn’t want static saying it for me.”

You smiled until your cheeks hurt. Outside your dormitory window, the first snow of the year began drifting quietly over Seoul. Far away in Haedam, waves continued breaking against the old harbor. The sea still connected them. It simply took longer now for its voice to arrive.

December arrived quietly. Seoul glittered beneath strings of white lights draped across department stores and crowded shopping streets, where couples wandered beneath decorated trees carrying paper cups of hot chocolate and bags tied with satin ribbon. Christmas songs drifted from cafés, laughter spilled onto sidewalks, and snow softened the edges of the restless city until everything seemed touched by gentleness. Yet no matter how beautiful it looked, every sparkling window reminded you of somewhere else. You found yourself searching every winter sunset for the sea that wasn’t there.

University emptied almost overnight. Students packed their belongings, hugged one another goodbye, and disappeared toward train stations and bus terminals, eager for home. You stood outside your dormitory with your suitcase at your feet, watching the first snowflakes melt against your coat sleeve.

Home.

The word had become strangely complicated. Your parents expected you back in Seoul for the holidays. Family dinners, charity galas, business receptions, and carefully arranged appearances filled your mother’s calendar weeks in advance. Returning to Haedam was never mentioned. It was understood that your grandfather would visit after New Year instead.

You boarded the train carrying a quiet disappointment you never spoke aloud. Seokjin would remain in Haedam. The fishing boats never stopped because the calendar said December. Winter demanded even more from the sea.

The morning after you arrived home, the doorbell rang just after breakfast. The housekeeper carried a medium-sized parcel into the dining room.

“It arrived from Haedam.”

Your heart recognized the handwriting before your eyes fully focused on it. The box wasn’t wrapped elegantly. Brown paper had been folded carefully around it and secured with more tape than necessary, the corners slightly uneven as though someone had redone them several times before deciding they were finally good enough.

Inside, every item had been packed with impossible care. A thick hand-knitted navy scarf. A glass jar filled with homemade citron tea prepared by Seokjin's grandmother. A tiny carved wooden lighthouse no bigger than your palm. At the bottom rested an envelope. You smiled before unfolding the letter.

Merry Christmas.

I asked Grandma to teach me how to knit. She laughed for almost ten minutes before agreeing. If the scarf looks crooked, pretend it doesn’t. The lighthouse took me three tries because I kept breaking the roof. The tea isn’t from me. Mine tasted terrible. I hope your room smells a little more like home now.

I miss you every day. I love you. Merry Christmas, city girl.

Love,

Jin

You laughed through tears. The scarf really was uneven. One side was noticeably longer than the other. It was perfect.

That afternoon you wandered through Myeongdong searching for something worthy of sending back. Luxury boutiques surrounded you with polished displays and glittering jewelry, but nothing felt right. None of it belonged to the life the two of you had built together.

Instead, you found yourself inside a quiet stationery shop. You bought thick cream-colored paper, fountain pen ink the color of the sea just before sunrise, and a leather journal embossed with a tiny compass. On the first page, you wrote only one sentence.

Fill this with every boat you’ll build someday.

You tucked inside a silver mechanical pencil engraved with his initials. Architects believed every great building began with a sketch. You wanted him to remember that boats did too.

That evening, your phone rang.

“I got your package.”

“So…?”

“You should never become a professional knitter.”

He laughed so loudly you had to pull the phone away from your ear. “I knew it.”

“The lighthouse is beautiful.”

“The roof stayed on this time.”

“The tea is delicious.”

“My grandmother made it.”

“I figured.”

“You could’ve pretended.”

“I love you too much to lie.”

Silence settled warmly between you.

“So…”

Seokjin asked. “Did it snow?”

“All day.”

“We only had rain.”

“I wish you could’ve seen it.”

“I wish I could’ve seen you seeing it.”

You rested your forehead against the bedroom window. Outside, snow continued drifting beneath the streetlights.

“I miss you.”

“I know.”

“No.”

Your voice softened. “I really miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“I keep turning around because I think you’re standing beside me.”

“I still make enough ramen for two.”

You laughed quietly.

“I still talk to you even before I remember you aren’t here.”

Neither of you rushed to fill the silence that followed. Sometimes missing someone sounded exactly like this. After a while Seokjin spoke again.

“Next summer.”

“What about it?”

“No matter how busy university gets…”

He paused. “…come home.”

Home.

He said the word so naturally. As though there had never been any doubt where home was.

You smiled. “I’ll come.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“We’ll watch the meteor shower again.”

“And eat burnt mackerel from the market.”

“You still hate burnt mackerel.”

“I hate watching you laugh at me more.”

“I’ll teach you how to bait fishing hooks properly.”

“I’ve been hearing that for four years.”

“This time you’ll actually learn.”

“I doubt it.”

“I believe in miracles.”

You laughed until tears gathered again.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

“I’ve done the math.”

“You’ve never been good at math.”

“I’ve become better.”

“Still impossible.”

“You can test me next summer.”

“I will.”

“I’ll win.”

“We’ll see.”

The conversation drifted long after midnight, wandering through memories, dreams, impossible plans, and ordinary stories that somehow became extraordinary simply because they belonged to both of you. Neither noticed the bedroom door had opened slightly.

Your mother stood quietly in the hallway. She hadn’t intended to listen at first. Then she heard your laughter. Then she heard his name. Finally, she heard the words that made her stop walking altogether.

“I love you.”

Your voice carried such quiet certainty that it startled even her. She remained still until the conversation ended. When you finally stepped into the hallway carrying your empty teacup, she was waiting.

“You’ve been talking to that boy.”

You blinked. “You were listening?”

“I heard enough.”

“He has a name.”

“I know exactly who he is.”

Her expression remained composed, almost pleasant. That somehow made it worse.

“You’re young.”

“So?”

“So feelings like this rarely survive adulthood.”

You smiled faintly. “Ours will.”

She looked at you for a long moment. Then she glanced toward the handmade wooden lighthouse sitting on your desk.

“He seems…kind.”

“He is.”

“But kindness doesn’t build the future you’ve worked so hard for.”

“My future isn’t a company merger.”

“It also isn’t a fishing village.”

“It isn’t only a fishing village.”

She sighed softly. “You’ll understand one day.”

Late that night, while the house slept beneath a blanket of fresh snow, you stood by the window wearing the uneven navy scarf Seokjin had knitted with clumsy determination. Outside, Seoul glittered like a city that never needed anyone. Far away, beyond mountains, highways, and frozen rivers, the lighthouse overlooking Haedam continued sweeping its beam across the dark sea.

Somewhere beneath that same winter sky, Seokjin was almost certainly looking toward it too. The distance between you remained impossibly wide. Yet hope, like the lighthouse itself, continued finding its way across the water.

Spring arrived so quietly that neither of you noticed winter had already slipped away. The snow disappeared from Seoul first, leaving behind rows of budding trees that lined the university campus in pale shades of green. Students returned from break carrying fresh notebooks, new ambitions, and stories from holidays spent with people they loved. The architecture building came alive once again with the familiar rhythm of hurried footsteps, printers humming through the night, professors dismantling carefully prepared presentations with unnerving precision, and exhausted students laughing simply because they had forgotten what it felt like not to be tired.

Life resumed before either of you had finished catching your breath. Your second semester demanded more than the first. Design studios grew longer. Expectations grew sharper. Every critique felt less like an assignment and more like an audition for the future everyone insisted you should already be building. Entire afternoons disappeared beneath layers of tracing paper and carefully measured lines, only for a professor to pause beside your desk and quietly ask, “Is this the best story your building can tell?”

You carried those words home every evening. You began wondering whether the spaces you designed reflected the life you wanted or simply the life everyone expected you to want.

One Friday evening, your mother asked if you would accompany her to a charity gala hosted by one of your father’s business partners.

“It’s important,” she said while adjusting the sleeve of her tailored jacket. “There will be people you should know.”

“I already have studio work.”

“It can wait.”

“My review is on Monday.”

“So is your future.”

You looked at her across the breakfast table. “My future is at university.”

She offered a patient smile, the kind reserved for conversations she believed she had already won.

“University opens doors. Relationships decide which ones stay open.”

You wanted to disagree. Instead, you quietly finished your tea.

The ballroom glittered beneath crystal chandeliers that scattered warm light across polished marble floors. Conversations drifted effortlessly between investment portfolios, hotel developments, international partnerships, and expansion projects. Waiters moved silently through the crowd carrying silver trays that never seemed to empty. Every smile appeared practiced. Every handshake lasted exactly long enough. You stood beside your mother feeling strangely invisible despite everyone knowing your family name.

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Before you could answer, she guided you toward a distinguished couple accompanied by their son, a recent graduate preparing to join his family’s construction company. He was polite. Well educated. Confident without arrogance. He spoke thoughtfully about sustainable cities and urban renewal, genuinely interested in architecture rather than merely making conversation.

Under different circumstances, you might have enjoyed speaking with him. Instead, every few minutes your thoughts wandered somewhere hundreds of kilometers away. You wondered whether Jin had finished repairing the old fishing nets before sunset. You wondered whether the sea had been calm. You wondered whether he had remembered to eat dinner before falling asleep from exhaustion.

“You seem distracted.”

The young man smiled kindly.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have someone waiting for your attention?”

You hesitated only briefly. “Yes.”

His expression softened with immediate understanding. “I hope they’re worth keeping.”

“They are.”

He nodded once. “Then don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”

The conversation ended there, leaving you unexpectedly grateful for a stranger’s quiet kindness. When you returned home that night, your mother was waiting in the sitting room.

“He comes from an excellent family.”

“I wasn’t looking.”

“You don’t have to look.”

“I already found someone.”

She folded her hands together. You looked at her without speaking. She continued.

“Life becomes more complicated than feelings.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“No.”

She sighed almost sadly. “It usually does.”

While Seoul measured success in opportunities, Haedam measured it in survival. Seokjin noticed the changes long before anyone spoke about them aloud. The boats returned carrying smaller catches. Fuel receipts grew thicker while fish crates grew lighter. Repairs that would once have been completed immediately were postponed another week, then another month.

The engine coughed longer before starting each morning. His father stopped replacing worn equipment unless it was absolutely necessary. One evening they sat together inside the workshop after finishing repairs on an aging wooden trawler. The scent of cedar lingered in the cool evening air as sunlight faded through the open doors.

His father carefully closed the ledger that rested on the workbench. For a long moment he simply stared at its worn cover. “Some years the sea gives.”

He smiled quietly. “Some years it asks.”

Seokjin knew what the numbers inside that book looked like without opening it. He had begun helping with the accounts. He knew exactly how much fuel cost. How much timber cost. How much they still owed. He also knew his father had quietly stopped paying himself whenever business slowed.

“You should rest.”

His father laughed softly. “I’ll rest when the boats do.”

“They never do.”

“Exactly.”

Neither mentioned the growing debt. Neither wanted to give it more power by saying it aloud.

Ten o’clock still arrived every evening. The phones still rang. The familiar voices still carried warmth across the distance. Only now the conversations had begun changing in ways so subtle neither of you recognized them.

“How was today?”

“Busy.”

“You?”

“Busy too.”

“What did you eat?”

“Whatever the cafeteria served.”

“You sound tired.”

“I’m okay.”

“So are you?”

“I’m fine.”

The words came easily. You both believed you were protecting each other. You didn’t tell him your architecture professor had suggested your portfolio wasn’t competitive enough for the internship you desperately wanted. You didn’t mention crying quietly inside an empty studio after everyone else had gone home.

Seokjin never mentioned that another fishing crew had sold its boat because they could no longer afford repairs. He didn’t tell you he had started working weekends at the harbor loading freight after classes to help his father cover fuel costs.

Neither wanted the other carrying another burden. So each night you exchanged the same comforting lie. “I’m fine.”

The silence that followed those words grew a little longer each week.

One evening your roommate looked up from her textbook while you smiled at your phone. “You always talk to him at ten.”

You nodded. “Every night.”

“Doesn’t long distance get exhausting?”

You thought about it carefully. “The distance does.”

“The relationship?”

You smiled. “Never.”

She returned to her notes. “I hope someone loves me like that someday.”

You looked at the photograph tucked inside your notebook. It showed the two of you sitting on the Haedam breakwater years earlier, laughing at something neither of you could remember now.

Near the end of April, the call lasted only twelve minutes. Seokjin had an early tide. You had an all-night studio review.

“I should let you work.”

“You too.”

“I’ll call tomorrow.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Good night.”

The call ended. Neither of you noticed that for the first time in months, neither had asked how the other was really doing. Outside your dormitory window, spring rain tapped gently against the glass. Far away, waves rolled quietly onto the shores of Haedam beneath a sky slowly filling with heavier clouds. Neither the rain nor the sea seemed unusual. Some storms announce themselves with thunder. Others begin with two people who love each other enough to hide their pain.

The first morning you returned to Haedam, the sea greeted you as though it had been waiting. The bus rounded the final bend overlooking the coastline just after sunrise, revealing the familiar stretch of blue water shimmering beneath the early summer light. Fishing boats drifted beyond the breakwater, gulls circled lazily overhead, and the harbor breathed with the same steady rhythm that had shaped every childhood summer you could remember. Some places changed with time. Haedam seemed only to grow deeper into itself, as though every passing season settled gently into its wooden docks, weathered rooftops, and salt worn stone.

Before the bus had even come to a complete stop, you spotted him. Seokjin stood beside his aging pickup truck wearing faded jeans, work boots dusted with sawdust, and a white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled carelessly to his forearms. The years had broadened him, not only in build but in quiet confidence. The restless teenage boy had become someone steadier, someone the village instinctively turned toward whenever heavy work needed doing.

The moment your eyes met, neither of you moved. Then he smiled. Everything else disappeared. You crossed the terminal in seconds before throwing your arms around him. He caught you effortlessly, lifting you from the ground as though months apart weighed nothing at all. The familiar scent of cedar wood, salt air, sunshine, and the faint trace of varnish clinging to his clothes wrapped around you like a memory returning to life.

“You came home,” he whispered.

“I told you I would.”

He rested his forehead against yours, smiling with the quiet disbelief of someone who had imagined this moment a thousand different ways.

“I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“I’ve been counting the days.”

“So have I.”

Neither hurried to let go. The entire village carried on around you as though reunions like this happened every day. Perhaps they did. Only this one felt large enough to hold the entire summer.

The afternoon light stretched across the empty workshop as the world outside slowly faded into evening. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You’ve changed.”

“So have you.”

“For the better?”

You reached for his hand. “I didn’t know it was possible.”

The kiss you had waited months to share began with remarkable tenderness, as though neither of you wanted to rush the miracle of finding each other again. His lips moved against yours slowly, reverently, relearning every familiar curve they had carried in memory through the long months apart. It felt less like a beginning than a homecoming.

His hands found you with unwavering certainty as he eased you back onto the old couch tucked inside the workshop. The worn fabric scratched faintly beneath your skin, and kissed you deeper, parting your mouth with his tongue to taste every inch inside you. Grounding you in the moment even as everything else seemed to disappear, the scent of salt lingering on his clothes, the distant hush of waves beyond the open doors, the afternoon light spilling through the windows in thin ribbons of gold.

He kissed you again, deeper this time, as though he could make up for every day he hadn’t been able to. Every lingering brush of his mouth spoke the words neither of you could ever seem to say enough: I missed you. I chose you. I never stopped loving you.

You answered him without hesitation, your fingers slipping into his hair, drawing him impossibly closer until the rest of the world melted away, leaving only the steady rhythm of two hearts finally finding each other again.

His lips wandered from the corner of your mouth to the curve of your jaw, each lingering kiss as gentle as a whispered confession. Between them, he breathed quiet words of admiration, telling you how beautiful you were until the praise itself felt like another kind of caress.

His mouth drifted lower, leaving feather-light kisses along your neck that lingered just long enough to send a shiver through you. The warmth of his breath followed each touch, raising goosebumps across your skin as though your body recognized him before your mind could catch up. A quiet sound escaped your lips.

He paused only long enough to smile against your skin, the corners of his mouth lifting with unmistakable affection. Looking up at you, he brushed a finger lightly over your lips in a playful plea for silence.

“Shh,” he murmured, his voice barely louder than the breeze slipping through the workshop windows. “The neighbors.”

Beyond the open doors, the fishing village rested in its familiar closeness, where weathered homes stood shoulder to shoulder and every laugh, every conversation, every creaking floorboard seemed to belong to everyone. The thought drew a breathless smile from you, making the moment feel somehow even more intimate, two hearts tucked away in the little workshop, surrounded by the quiet rhythm of the sea and a world that had no idea how long you’d both been waiting to find your way back to each other.

His hand slid lower by careful, unhurried inches, his darkened gaze lifting to yours in silent question as his fingers gently caught the hem of your top. At your quiet nod, he drew it over your head with exquisite slowness, as though savoring every passing second. His eyes lingered on the sight of you before him, drinking you in with undisguised wonder. With the same deliberate care, he reached behind you to unhook your bra, his movements unhurried, pausing after each small revelation as though every newly bared inch was something worthy of admiration, something he wanted to remember forever.

His tongue circled one nipple in slow, lazy sweeps, lavishing it with patient attention before gradually deepening the pressure, while his fingers found the other, pinching and rolling it with equal care. The contrast of wet warmth and gentle touch sent a shiver through you, your back arching in slow, helpless waves.

When another moan threatened to escape, he smiled against your skin and covered your mouth with his palm, muffling the sound as he continued kissing his way lower. Without ever rushing, he stripped away the rest of your clothes one piece at a time until you lay bare beneath him, every movement drawn out, every lingering pause savoring the quiet beauty of each new revelation.

He paused again, asking with his eyes before his mouth found your navel, then lower, tongue flicking over your clit through the thin fabric of your underwear in feather-light strokes that built over long minutes. You were soaked, the dampness obvious as he rubbed slow circles there, pressing just enough to make your thighs tremble with accumulating tension.

You bit back every sound, your body taut with the overwhelming newness of it all. Still untouched, every sensation felt impossibly heightened, and he lingered with infinite patience, refusing to rush what was already unraveling you. He alternated between slow, tender caresses through the delicate fabric, drawing out each moment until anticipation itself became almost unbearable. Little by little, your restraint began to falter, your hips lifting instinctively in a silent, searching plea for more.

He peeled away the last scrap of fabric with painstaking care, spreading your legs wider inch by inch. Then he lowered his head, his tongue tracing a long, unhurried stripe up your cunt, savoring the taste of your wetness before drawing your clit between his lips in slow, rhythmic pulls that gradually stole the breath from your lungs.

His fingers lingered at your entrance with patience, easing just inside as though learning the language of your body one careful touch at a time. He paused only to feel the way you instinctively tightened around him, drawing a quiet, unsteady breath that spoke of restrained longing. The warmth of your arousal clung to his hand as a low groan escaped him against your skin. Rather than hurrying, he remained there, exploring every subtle reaction with quiet reverence, letting the tension rise and swell through long, lingering waves, savoring each moment instead of rushing toward release.

He stripped off his own clothes with slow, unhurried movements, his arousal already unmistakable, a bead of precum glistening at the tip. Looking into your eyes, he offered a quiet, reassuring smile.

“I’ll be gentle,” he murmured.

He reached for the condom tucked inside his wallet and rolled it carefully down his thick length with deliberate precision. Only then did he settle himself between your thighs, pausing once more to meet your gaze, giving you every opportunity to stop him before closing the distance between you.

“Breathe for me,” he said, his voice strained with restraint as he slowly rubbed the head against your slick warmth in long, teasing glides, drawing out each unhurried pass until the anticipation coiled tighter and tighter between you.

He pushed into you slowly, inch by careful inch, pausing often to ask if you were okay while his thumb worked your clit in steady, reassuring strokes. The entry was unhurried, giving your body time to adjust gradually to the unfamiliar stretch, every measured pause guided by your comfort rather than his impatience.

The initial burn gradually softened into a deep, overwhelming fullness as he finally settled inside you, remaining completely still to give your body all the time it needed to adjust. He lingered there for a long, quiet moment, never rushing, his lips finding yours again to gently swallow the small, breathless sounds you couldn’t hold back as the new intimacy between you slowly settled into something tender and profound.

He began with shallow, careful thrusts, moving slowly at first before gradually settling into a steady, measured rhythm. Each stroke drew him along every sensitive place inside you, unhurried and patient as he let your body grow accustomed to the sensation. His mouth returned to your breast, his tongue lingering there as his pace increased with quiet restraint, his hips driving deeper only after the rhythm had been gently established. Around you, the workshop filled little by little with the soft, unmistakable sounds of your bodies moving together.

Sweat beaded across his forehead, a few droplets falling onto your chest as he thrust deeper, subtly shifting the angle of his hips until each stroke ground against your clit, building the pleasure with slow, measured intent.

The pressure coiling low in your stomach tightened with each sustained wave until it finally broke, your cunt pulsing and flooding around him in a hot rush of cum that left you shaking through the prolonged release.

He groaned as his pace finally unraveled, the careful rhythm giving way to urgent, desperate thrusts. He drove into you with mounting intensity, every movement carrying the weight of restrained longing until his body finally tensed. Burying himself deep, he shuddered through thick, pulsing waves of release into the condom before collapsing over you with a ragged breath, catching himself on his forearms so his full weight never settled onto your body.

He kissed you again, softly and with quiet gratitude, his lips brushing yours in lingering, tender presses while he held you close, reluctant to let the moment end.

The workshop remained wrapped in golden silence while summer wind drifted through the open windows carrying the scent of the sea. Outside, waves continued rolling against the shore. Inside, time quietly stepped aside for two people who had spent too long loving each other from opposite ends of the country.

Much later, as twilight settled over the harbor, you remained together in the peaceful stillness of the workshop, saying little, simply grateful that distance had finally surrendered, if only for a season.

That evening, you opened the old leather sketchbook once more. Its pages had grown worn from years of turning. New memories settled beside old ones. Seokjin carefully sharpened a pencil before handing it to you. “What should we add this year?”

You smiled thoughtfully before drawing another window along the side of Summer Tide.

“Morning light.”

“What?”

“I want the kitchen windows bigger.”

“So you can watch the sunrise while making coffee?”

“So we never miss it.”

He nodded seriously before sketching beside your drawing. “I’ve always wanted another bench here.”

“For what?”

“So our children can sit beside us.”

The pencil stopped moving. You looked at him. “Our children?”

His ears turned slightly pink. “I mean…”

“You mean?”

He smiled shyly. “If someday.”

You closed the notebook before leaning over to kiss him again. “I like someday.”

Days passed gently. The villagers smiled every time they saw the two of you walking through the market. Grandma Hyeon quietly served larger portions because “young people in love forget to eat.” Children waved whenever Seokjin rode past on his bicycle. Everything felt astonishingly ordinary. Which made it feel everlasting.

On your final weekend before returning to Seoul, the two of you stood together outside the workshop watching the sun disappear into the sea. Seokjin wrapped his arms around you from behind. “I hate goodbye.”

“So do I.”

“Only one more year.”

“Then another.”

“We’ll survive them.”

“We always do.”

You nodded. “We always will.”

The evening settled softly over Haedam, painting the sea in ribbons of amber as the last fishing boats drifted toward the harbor. You and Seokjin walked hand in hand up the familiar stone path leading to your grandfather’s house, laughing quietly about whose turn it was to cook dinner. The old wooden gate stood open, the porch light already glowing against the gathering dusk. Your grandfather sat on his favorite chair beneath the persimmon tree, shelling peanuts into a small woven basket. He looked up the moment he heard your footsteps, smiling the same warm smile that had greeted you every summer since you were a little girl.

“There you are,” he said, pretending to scold you. “I was beginning to think the sea had adopted both of you.”

You laughed and crossed the yard to hug him. Seokjin bowed respectfully before taking the basket from your grandfather’s lap and sitting beside him to help finish shelling the peanuts.

“You spoil him more than you spoil me, Grandpa.”

“Because he actually helps an old man.”

“I help.”

“You complain while helping.”

Seokjin chuckled quietly. “She’s right.”

Your grandfather pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t encourage her.”

The three of you laughed together, the sound blending with the evening chorus of cicadas and distant waves. It was an ordinary summer evening. The kind that felt as though it could stretch on forever.

Then headlights swept across the yard. One black sedan, then another. The laughter disappeared. Your grandfather slowly stood from his chair, his smile fading before the cars had even stopped.

Your heart sank. The driver’s door opened. Your father stepped out first. Your mother followed. She looked directly at you. Then at your hand still intertwined with Seokjin. For a brief moment, silence covered the yard more completely than the night itself. Your mother turned slowly toward your father.

“I told you.”

Your father looked from you to Seokjin, then toward your grandfather. “You knew.”

Your grandfather met his son’s gaze without hesitation. “Yes.”

“You knew our daughter was involved with him…”

“I did.”

“…and you said nothing.”

“I had nothing to confess.”

Your mother’s composure finally cracked. “Father, we’ve trusted you for years. Every summer we left her here because we believed she was safe.”

“She was.”

“Safe?”

She gestured toward you and Seokjin.

“You allowed this to happen.”

“No.”

Your grandfather’s voice was quiet but unwavering. “I allowed two good children to grow into two good people.”

Your father took a slow breath. “He’s a fisherman.”

“He’s Seokjin.”

“He comes from a family that barely survives each season.”

“He comes from a family that has never compromised their dignity.”

“He has no future with her.”

“You don’t know his future.”

“I know enough.”

Your grandfather stepped closer. “No.”

His weathered eyes remained steady. “You know his family’s income. You know where he was born. You know what work his hands do.”

He looked toward Seokjin with unmistakable pride. “But you don’t know the kind of man standing in front of you.”

Seokjin lowered his eyes respectfully. “Sir…”

Your grandfather gently raised a hand, asking him not to interrupt. “I’ve watched this boy since he was smaller than the fishing nets he carried. I’ve watched him wake before sunrise to help his father without complaint. I’ve watched him carry groceries for every widow in this village before carrying his own. When storms came, he checked every elderly neighbor’s roof before checking his own.”

He turned back toward your parents. “If my granddaughter chose someone selfish or dishonest, I would have been the first to send him away.”

His voice softened. “But she chose the finest young man I’ve ever known.”

Your mother’s eyes shimmered with frustration. “You always romanticize this village.”

“No.”

“I remember what matters.”

“What matters is her future.”

“What matters is her happiness.”

“They’re not the same thing.”

“They should be.”

You stepped forward. “Mom…”

She looked at you. “You’ve been lying to us.”

“I wasn’t lying.”

“You said you spent every day with Grandpa.”

“I did.”

“And him.”

Your fingers found Seokjin again. “I love him.”

The words settled over the yard with astonishing calm. Your father’s expression hardened. “You think love is enough.”

“I know it is.”

“You don’t.”

Your mother shook her head. “You’re nineteen.”

“I’m old enough to know who I love.”

“You’ll forget him.”

“I won’t.”

Your grandfather placed himself quietly between you “Listen to her.”

Neither of your parents answered. Instead, your mother looked at your grandpa with tears gathering in her eyes. “I trusted you.”

He smiled sadly. “I know.”

“And you still let this happen.”

“I didn’t let anything happen.”

He looked toward you and John standing side by side. “I simply refused to stand between two people who have loved each other with honesty.”

The old man’s voice grew softer. “I’ve had more summers than all of you.”

He glanced toward the sea. “I know how rarely love arrives without asking for anything in return.”

No one spoke. The evening breeze carried the scent of cedar from the workshop and salt from the harbor. Everything you loved about Haedam seemed to hold its breath. Your father finally broke the silence.

“Pack your things.”

You stared at him. “I’m not leaving.”

“You are.”

“No.”

Your answer came immediately. “I’m staying.”

“You’ll come with us.”

“I won’t.”

Your mother reached for your hand. You stepped back. Tears blurred the harbor into streaks of light. “I love him.”

Your voice trembled. “I’ve loved him for years.”

Your grandfather rested one hand gently against your shoulder. “Listen to her.”

“Please.”

“Just once.”

Neither of your parents answered. Instead, your father looked at Seokjin. “If you truly care about her…”

His voice remained calm. “…you won’t ask her to throw away her future.”

Seokjin was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke, his eyes never left yours. “I’ve never wanted to take her future.”

He swallowed quietly. “I only wanted to be part of it.”

Those words broke something inside everyone who heard them. Even your mother’s eyes filled for the briefest moment before she looked away. She could not deny the sincerity. She simply believed sincerity would never be enough.

The waves continued washing against the shore as daylight slipped beneath the horizon. The sea remained unchanged. The people standing beside it never would be again.

Your mother walks into your bedroom. You refuse to follow. She opens the wardrobe herself. One by one, she folds your summer clothes into the suitcase. Each item feels like another memory being taken away. The oversized navy sweater that still carries the faint scent of cedar because John wore it while fixing your bicycle. The small tin filled with shells the two of you collected after last year’s typhoon. A bundle of pressed wildflowers tucked inside your favorite novel from the afternoon you skipped lunch to lie together on the cliffs. You sit on the edge of the bed watching your life disappear behind a closing zipper.

Outside, your grandfather waits beneath the persimmon tree. Seokjin remains standing near the gate. When your suitcase finally appears in the hallway, your grandfather’s shoulders sink.

“So soon…”

Your mother lowers her eyes. “It has to be.”

He walks toward you. For a long moment he simply looks at your face. The little girl who arrived every summer with city shoes and a permanent frown has disappeared. Standing before him is the young woman who learned to love this village.

He cups your face gently. “I’m sorry.”

The words almost break him. “I thought I had more time.”

You shake your head through tears. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I should have protected you.”

“You did.”

You wrap your arms around him. “You gave me the happiest summers of my life.”

His embrace trembles. Slowly he reaches into his pocket and presses something cold into your palm. A small brass key. The key to the front door. You stare at it.

“Keep it.”

“But…”

“This house is yours too.”

His voice is barely louder than the waves. “No matter where life takes you…”

He closes your fingers around the key. “…Haedam will always wait for you.”

Your father clears his throat quietly. “We have to go.”

You look toward Seokjin. He is already looking at you. Your father follows your gaze. After a long silence, he nods once. “One minute.”

Your mother looks at him in surprise. He repeats himself. “One minute.”

You don’t walk. You run. Seokjin catches you before you can say a single word. Neither of you speaks. There is nothing left to explain. You simply hold each other, trying desperately to memorize the warmth that distance cannot preserve.

His heartbeat. The smell of cedar clinging to his shirt. The roughness of his hands. The quiet rhythm of his breathing. You bury your face against his shoulder. “I don’t want to go.”

“I know.”

“They’re taking me.”

“I know.”

“I’ll come back.”

He smiles, though his eyes glisten in the fading light.“I’ll be here.”

You lift your head. “I love you.”

The words leave your lips as naturally as breathing. “I love you too.”

He brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “No matter how long it takes.”

You nod. “No matter how long.”

Your father’s voice carries gently across the yard “Time.”

Seokjin lets go first. Because if he doesn’t, neither of you ever will.

The drive begins in complete silence. You twist around in your seat before the car has even reached the end of the road. Seokjin still stands in front of your grandfather’s house. He grows smaller with every turn. The workshop disappears. The lighthouse disappears. The fishing boats disappear. Still you keep looking back. The sea remains visible longer than anything else.

Moonlight stretches across its surface like silver silk. Eventually the road bends inland. Mountains rise between you and the coast. The ocean vanishes. Something inside you quietly breaks.

When you arrive in Seoul well past midnight, your father unlocks the front door without speaking. Before you can step inside, he extends his hand. “Your phone.”

You stare at him. “What?”

“Your phone.”

“No.”

Your mother gently reaches for your shoulder. “We’re trying to help you.”

“You don’t understand.”

“We understand more than you think.”

Your father waits patiently. Eventually your trembling hand places the phone into his. Then your wallet. Your bank card. Even your car keys. Each item disappears into his study. Each one feels like another door quietly closing.

Far away in Haedam, the lighthouse beam sweeps slowly across the dark sea. Ten o’clock arrives. Seokjin climbs the familiar stone steps and presses your name. The phone rings once. Then disconnects.

He tries again. And again. And again.

The same recorded message answers every time. He remains there until the battery icon turns red. Until the screen finally goes black. Only then does he lower the phone. The wind off the sea feels colder than it did yesterday.

That night neither of you sleeps. You lie awake in the room that suddenly feels too large, staring at a ceiling you no longer recognize as home.

Hundreds of kilometers away, Seokjin lies fully dressed on top of his bed, listening to waves breaking against the shore outside his open window.

At nearly the same moment, without knowing the other is awake, both of you whisper into the darkness. “I love you.”

The words disappear into two different nights. Neither reaches the person they were meant for.

[2/2]

A/N: Part 2 will be posted tomorrow, if we have electricity. There’s a typhoon expected to pass through our area, so I’m crossing my fingers that the power stays on. If there are any delays, I promise I’ll upload it as soon as everything is back to normal.

[mikrokkosmos7]

Skydiving your way to my heart

Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 14.4k

AU: CEO Seokjin x Assistant reader- Boss x Employee romance, falling in love, explicit sexual content (minors dni!!), unprotected sex, tooth rotting fluff, very loosely inspired from kdrama boyfriend on demand

Summary: Kim Seokjin was your very hot, very unattainable boss. You told one lie to your best friend; that lie being that you wouldn’t fall in love with him. Because who were you kidding? It was impossible not to fall for him. What you didn’t know was that it would all be okay, because he would be there to fall with you. Mentally and quite literally.

It was a tiring day at the office because you hadn’t slept well the night before. You don’t know how your boss did it. How he put so many hours into his job. The man practically lived there. He ate there, he breathed there, and he may as well have slept there too. Who knows… Maybe he did?! You don’t even think he ever took a vacation, and what kind of life was that? That kind of life certainly wasn’t for you. You needed your vacation time. Times where you just wanted to relax and take it easy. While that wasn’t something he did, he always allowed you your vacation days, and he never once made a big deal about it. He always told you to enjoy it.

Finishing up your work load for the day was a relief. Time to go home and relax on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a movie before bed. That would be after you called your best friend back, of course. You had a missed call from her and a text message that read ‘Call me on your way home, I got something that you need!’ You hadn’t the slightest clue what that meant. Hannah was always cryptic.

You knocked on your boss’s door, waiting for his polite ‘Come in’ before entering. Mr. Kim was sitting at his desk going through a stack of papers, which was not surprising in the least. He looked so exhausted, like he was ready to go home and sleep, yet chose to stay anyway. Your first thought meeting the man was about how handsome he was, but you would absolutely not go there since he was your boss. There was no way he’d go for his assistant anyway. There was also two more facts; the first one being that this man was married to his work, if anything. There was no way he’d be able to maintain a healthy relationship with the hours he put in. When you first met him you thought there was no way he could be single with those looks, but the more you worked for him you thought there was no way he could be in a relationship. Dude was always here!

Another fact… You never had luck with relationships. Except for Junho. The only problem with that one was that you both had different future goals, so you settled for being friends. You figured you would end up as one of those single cat ladies. You already had two at home. Of course, that didn’t mean you didn’t want a relationship. You just hadn’t found Mr. Right, but you weren’t actively looking. If it happened, it happened, and if it didn’t, Well…

“Miss L/n,” Mr. Kim greeted you kindly. “What can I help you with?”

“Oh… I just wanted to let you know I finished faxing those papers, Sir. I’ll be off for the evening now.” You said awkwardly. As kind as the man was, he still intimidated you somehow. There was also his good looks. Why did he have to be so attractive? It was not fair.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. You’ve really helped me out.” He responded, looking down at his watch in surprise. “Oh… I guess it really is late. Time flies so quick.”

“Yes, maybe you should go home and get some rest, Sir. You look tired.” You only realized what you said when it was too late, but you immediately backtracked. “I mean… I’m so sorry, Mr. Kim. I just meant, you must be tired. Not that you look it, but of course you don’t have to. I only meant…”

You let out a breath of relief when the man only chuckled. “Miss, L/n, it’s alright, and no need to lie to me. I probably do look tired. I won’t be here too much longer.”

Somehow, you doubted that, but you nodded anyway with a small smile. “Of course. Have a good night, Mr. Kim.”

“Have a good night, Miss L/n.” He returned with a smile of his own before redirecting his focus to the task in front of him, and you sighed as you left the building. You wished he would take care of himself more. He may have worked you a lot of hours, but he was a good boss. He was fair, and he always respected your requests. Whenever there were days you had to leave early because a family matter came up, he always understood. The load he put on your plate was only because he trusted you the most as his secretary, and he always praised your work. You knew that if you came to him and told him that it was too much for you, he would listen, but you found you liked him being proud of you, and the work was actually nothing you couldn’t handle. In fact, you didn’t mind it at all. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. It just always felt good to go home after a long day.

You completely forgot to call your best friend back on the way home. The reminder was the box left at your front door. You scrunched your eyes as you picked it up and walked through the door. Shoes off, a glass of wine, your large tv screen… The only thing missing was someone to come home to.

You dialed Hannah, hearing her voice after the third ring.

“What am I looking at here?” You asked, shaking the box to see if you could tell. It didn’t tell you much.

“Well open it, don’t just shake it.” She laughed over the line.

True. You didn’t know why you were procrastinating. Once you got the device out of the box, you blinked. “Your dream boyfriend.” It came out dryly.

“Well hold on, hear me out.” She said in a no nonsense tone.

“No need. I already know about this. A coworker who inherited an insane amount of money got one. She is in a complete fantasy world, Han. She won’t even date real men! Wait, how did you even afford this, by the way?” You asked incredulously.

“And why waste money on it as well!” You added for good measure. “It’s not real.”

“Well I didn’t, I signed up to win one and here we are.” You could practically see her shrugging.

“And why would you do that?” You still weren’t catching on.

“C’mon, Y/n… You could use something like this. Wouldn’t it be nice to escape reality every once in a while? This will show you what kind of men you actually deserve…” She said, trying to encourage you.

“The kind that don’t exist, you mean?” You snorted.

“That’s not true, I have Adam.” She defended.

“You’re one of the lucky ones, Han.” You said softly.

“I’m just saying. It can’t hurt. Have a little fun with it. All you gotta do is remember it’s not real.” Another encouragement.

“Alright, but only because you won it. I can’t just let it go to waste.” Was your excuse.

She laughed. “That’s good enough for me. Let me know how it goes!

You agreed with a shake of your head before hanging up. Apparently, all you needed to do was put on the headset, and it would put you to sleep, sending you to dream world. You sighed before doing exactly that, immediately passing out.

When you opened your eyes, you were on a plane. Your first thought was that you had to be traveling to somewhere, but then you realized it was not that big of a plane, and there was skydiving gear strapped to you. Oh, hell no! No, no, no! You were not doing this. You were so not doing this. This was something that you would never do in real life.

“How we feeling, gorgeous?” A male voice asked from beside you, and you jumped, turning to find a bright eyed man with boyish features that did not match the lip ring he was wearing, and he was covered in tattoos. He was cute, though. You used to have a thing for a guy with piercings. Nowadays, your type was a capable man in a sharp dressed suit with dark piercing eyes and full lips that formed a tired smile. Uhh… Wait, what? You just described your boss. You shook off those thoughts. Forbidden. Unwarranted. Unprofessional. Untouchable. Not gonna happen. About as unrealistic as these dream fantasies. Perhaps it was a good thing you were doing this. You could enjoy this. You refocused your attention on this cutie.

“Um, not very good. How about we do something else?” You asked with a nervous chuckle. You didn’t know this mans name. Didn’t know if you were dating. Didn’t know how you got here on an airplane.

“You’re the one who suggested it, silly. Come on, I’ve got you. I’m nervous too… We can do this together.” The man encouraged, reaching for your hand.

“All set, Jungkook, Y/n? Quite a first date here, I must say.” The pilot laughed. His name was Jungkook, and it was your first date.

Jungkook laughed too, and you tried to join in, but it came out forced. He waited for your response. He wouldn’t force you. This was only a dream right? A fantasy. It wasn’t real. You were actually safe at home on your bed. If this was something you feared in real life… why not do it in this fake world to say you experienced it atleast once; well, in a way.

“Okay.” You nodded, mentally pumping yourself up. “You’re right… I suggested this.”

Jungkook gave you an adorable smile in response, giving your hand a squeeze before settling in behind you. The pilot buckled you together, and you were now standing against the edge of the plane. The countdown was a distant buzz as you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t look. Once it got to zero, Jungkook gave you that final nudge that sent you both over the edge. A scream automatically ripped from your throat as you plummeted down, down, down, the wind whipping over your face, adrenaline pumping through your veins. It genuinely felt like you were flying, and when you finally heard the parachute opening, so did your eyes, taking in the sights of the beach before you crash landed on the sand.

Holy shit… That was incredible. It was so much… fun. It made you feel so alive. More alive then you had been in a very long time. “Wow…”

“Wow is right.” Your companion agreed from beside you, helping you get your gear off.

The rest of the date went by in a blur, the two of you spending it on the beach of wherever this was. You had no clue, and you couldn’t exactly ask without sounding crazy. You would just enjoy it. Jungkook was a nice guy, and he was a lot of fun. You didn’t exactly feel that spark, but you realized you didn’t have to. This was only a fantasy.

“When I saw you, Y/n, I fell in love at first sight.” Jungkook looked over at you adoringly, fingers intertwined with yours as you walked along the shore, sand sticking between your toes. “I hope maybe you feel it too.”

As much fun as you had, you didn’t feel it, and you knew this wasn’t even real, but he thought it was, so you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. You actually did like the guy, and once upon a time, he would have been exactly your type.

You opened your eyes with a start when your alarm went off the next morning, taking the headset off as you pressed a hand to your chest, your eyes adjusting to your surroundings back at your apartment. That was positively insane how real that felt. It was like you actually experienced it yourself, including the skydiving. A laugh bubbled out of you. You couldn’t believe you actually did something like that, fantasy or not. You found that you couldn’t wait for your next date, whatever it may be, with whoever it may be.

Your boss should really let loose and try something like this. You chuckled at the thought, walking into work an hour later with a skip in your step.

“You look happy today, Miss, L/n.” Mr. Kim greeted you when you knocked on his office door before opening it, handing him a cup of coffee, his favorite.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to.” He added, taking a sip before letting out a pleasant sigh.

“What are assistants for.” You shrugged it off with a wave. “Who else would take care of you, Sir?”

Your boss choked on his coffee in response, his ears going beet red, and you couldn’t exactly blame him; you never really said things like that. Perhaps you were still feeling that adrenaline rush from your dream. Speaking of…

“I was thinking of going skydiving on Sunday.” You added, putting him out of his misery from your last comment.

“Oh, wow, that’s - I never expected you to be a thrill seeker.” Mr. Kim responded with wide eyes.

“Tell me about it.” You chuckled, getting a confused look in response, your boss’s head tilting to the side, reminding you of a bird.

“Anyway… I don’t want to do it alone, obviously. That would be pushing myself too far, and I know Hannah won’t do it. That’s my best friend.” Your boss blinked. Get on with it Y/n! “I wanted to ask if you would join me, if you would take a day off, that is. I know you practically live here.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Kim Seokjin said in response, and you just looked at him. Really?

“I don’t do well with heights. Skydiving has never been something on my agenda of things to do.” He added.

“Oh, yeah, I get it. It’s… a lot. I can… I’ll put on a brave face and do it alone.” You inhaled a sharp breath with a smile. Or you could just not do it all, your brain added.

Your boss stared at you blankly for a good minute that you started feeling intimidated. “Well, let me know if you need anything.” You started backing away.

“I’ll go.” He finally spoke, and your jaw dropped.

“Really?” You had to make sure you were hearing yourself right.

“Yes, but if you ask again, I may change my mind.” He said bluntly.

“Noted, Sir! I appreciate this, really.” You gave him a bow before exiting his office to start your work day.

Wow, you can’t believe you actually got him to agree.

Later on that evening, you had your best friend stunned in silence over the phone.

“So, let me get this straight. You went skydiving on your first virtual dream date with a tattooed cutie, and now, not only are you going to actually do it in real life… You’re doing it with your boss! Did I get that right? Your hot, unattainable boss. THE MULTIMILLIONAIRE CEO OF THE COMPANY?!” Her voice echoed over the line from how loud she was talking.

“That’s about the gist of it.” You agreed calmly.

“Y/n, I might have made a mistake winning that for you. You go on one virtual fantasy date, and now you’re living in a fantasy land entirely, just like your coworker. CEO Kim may as well be in the virtual dream world! You’re his assistant. I’m not saying you aren’t good enough, so don’t get that idea your head, because I know you’re an overthinker. What I’m saying is; going from the way you have talked about him… He seems too professional to date his secretary. You even said he was married to his job.” She expressed in concern.

“First of all, Hannah. It’s not even a date at all. He said he would go so I didn’t have to go by myself. And second of all…I know what I’m doing. I’m just trying to show him what it’s like to live outside of work.” You tried to explain. It made perfect sense to you. Why didn’t it to her?

“Are you hearing yourself right now? Why do you want to do that?” She sounded exasperated.

“What do you mean?”

You heard her let out a sigh. “Nothing. Just promise me you won’t go falling in love with your boss.”

“I promise, Han. See? Easy. I’m not gonna fall in love with him. He’s unattainable, remember?” You reminded her.

“Going skydiving with you doesn’t sound that unattainable to me, Y/n.” She retorted.

“I already told you, he’s going so I don’t have to go alone.” You heard her snort.

“And why would he care if you go alone?”

“He’s a nice person, believe it or not.”

“Or not. Rich millionaires are not nice. Most of the time, they’re assholes, so I don’t trust him.” She rebuffed.

“No, he’s not like that. It would show in his work ethic if he was. He never looks at people like they’re beneath him, even if they are.” You explained.

“I still don’t trust him. Just… Remember what I said.” You promised her that you would before letting her off the phone to rest for the night. She didn’t need to worry. Yeah your boss was hot, but you weren’t going to fall in love with him.

Sunday came quicker than you thought it would, and you did not spend the rest of the week thinking about it. You absolutely didn’t. Mr. Kim said he could pick you up if it would be easier, and head to the diving area from there. It wasn’t picturesque and in a romantic setting like your dream was. As a matter of fact, you found that you liked this valley of flowers you would land in. You did have to stop and ask yourself why exactly you were doing this, but you didn’t have the answer.

“Thank you for coming with me, Mr. Kim.” You mentioned on the airplane ride up, nerves setting your system alight. You weren’t so sure about this. The dream wasn’t real. This is. You’re actually about to jump out of a damn plane.

“We’re not at work, you don’t have to call me Mr. Kim.” Your boss mentioned. He was looking a little pale where he wasn’t before.

“Oh, of course. Seokjin, you don’t have to do this with me.” You said softly.

“It’s fine. I already agreed to it.” He shook his head, and then, “You’re not scared?”

“I’m terrified.” You chuckled nervously.

“We’re here. You both ready?” The pilot asked with a raised brow, to which you both nodded.

You felt Seokjin settle in behind you for the pilot to buckle you together, his arms wrapping around you to rest against your stomach. Except, unlike Jungkook’s touch, this one had goosebumps rising to your skin, and you shivered. Not the least bit cold. That right there, was your first sign that you were in trouble.

You stepped toward the edge, looked down, and immediately froze in fear.

“Seokjin, I don’t know-“

He cut you off by turning the both of you around. Now he was the one at the edge, backwards, but he didn’t jump. Not yet. “Do you really want to do this?”

You thought about it for a split second, did you? Not really… Now that you were now faced with the reality of it, but… You were already here, and you remembered how alive you felt in your dream. You also didn’t want to waste Seokjin’s day. “Yes, I-“

You felt him fall backwards, his arms tight around you as the buckles attached to his dragged you with him. The two of you fell, together. The wind knocking the breath from your lungs. Where you thought it felt real in your dream, it was nothing compared to this. You were going so fast that you could barely let out a scream, and when you both ended up on your stomach’s facing the ground, it truly felt like you were flying, even though you weren’t. You were falling.

“Are you okay?” Seokjin’s voice sounded in your ear.

“Yes.” You yelled back loud enough for him to hear.

“I’m going to let go of you, okay?” It made you nervous, but you knew he had to let go to inflate the parachute. It’s okay, you were buckled together.

“Okay.” You squeezed your eyes shut, his arms no longer holding you as he pulled the parachute open, the pace in which you went down declining, and you let yourself enjoy it, your arms spread out like you were flying, appreciating it when Seokjin’s arms came around you once more, the both of you falling into the field of sunflowers when you met land.

As amazing and fun as that was… “I’m never doing that again.” You breathed out when Seokjin unbuckled your gear for the both of you to collapse on your back in between the flowers.

“Good, cause me either.” He let out a breathy laugh, looking up at the sky.

You looked over at him, stunned. You had never, not once, heard your boss laugh. It was nice, the way it made his face brighten. No, Y/n, stop it. You abruptly sat up, staring at the vast amount of flowers in front of you.

He sat up as well, completely oblivious to your inner dilemma. “What now?”

You blinked. “You don’t have work that needs to be done?”

“You expect me to work after just going skydiving? I have so much energy.” He stood up, holding a hand out to help you. You took it, the brief touch causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. You needed another dream date as a distraction tonight. Why did you have to feel this way about your boss? It would get you nowhere good. Or atleast, that’s what you thought.

“Hey, you never know. You are a workaholic.” You teased, dusting off your jeans.

“Yah! I’ll have you know-I take time off.” His voice fell at the end.

“Literally when?” You laughed.

“Um, today, and- and- Well, I know there is more. I just can’t remember.” He shrugged. Uh huh.

“These sunflowers are so pretty. Will you take a picture of me before we go?” You asked hopefully, holding your phone out to him with the camera open.

He took your phone from you wordlessly, waiting for you to pose before holding it up to get you in the frame, and you smiled when the camera flashed.

“How did it turn out?” You asked hesitantly, watching as his eyes took in the picture he just took.

“Pretty.” You were scared to ask if he was talking about the flowers, or you, or you by the flowers.

You settled for moving beside him to see the picture for yourself. It would do. You took the phone back, and then he was handing his over to you.

“My turn.” It made you smile that he wanted to take one as well, but his straight face made you laugh.

“What?” He asked, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

“Smile, Seokjin. You look mad.”

His jaw dropped. “I’m not mad.” And then he was smiling, his cheeks scrunching up, and yes, that’s it. You snapped the photo.

“How did it turn out?” He returned the same question you had.

Beautiful. “It turned out really nice.” Was what you actually said, but it was accompanied by an encouraging smile.

“What if we take another one together this time? For the memory of facing our fears…” You added.

“Hm, okay.” He responded, reaching for his phone before stepping beside you, putting the camera on selfie mode. “Ready?”

You were momentarily stunned that he used his phone instead of asking for yours, but you recovered quickly, smiling with a nod. “Ready.”

He aimed the camera above you to get the sunflowers in the screen, a smile rising to his lips as well as he snapped the selfie before putting his phone back in his pocket.

“You’ll send it to me later?” You asked.

“Of course.” He agreed automatically, throwing the skydiving gear over his shoulder.

Later on that night, he kept his word, your phone buzzing. When you noticed his name, you opened it right away to see the picture from earlier staring back at you. It made you blush.

Oh boy. You decided to put on your headset for a dream date tonight. Otherwise you would lay up all night thinking about the time you spent with Seokjin, your unattainable boss.

This one’s name was Namjoon, and he was incredibly smart and sophisticated. You learned that he loved art, and attending galas; which was how you ended up at one on your date. It wasn’t usually your thing, but really, this was only a fantasy, so you were just along for the ride.

Despite art galas not being your thing, Namjoon was very kind and definitely easy on the eyes. You enjoyed the date for what it was, but when you awoke the next morning to your alarm; all you could think about was your boss. Perhaps it wasn’t a good thing for you to spend time with him outside of the office.

“Do you like art galas?” You asked your boss after handing him his morning coffee.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been to one.” His eyes told you he was confused by your question. “I’m more of a gamer.”

You blinked, your eyes widening in shock. “You game?”

“Is that surprising?” He raised a brow.

“Um- I- Well, kinda. I guess I’m more surprised that you do anything besides work.”

You got a snort in response. “You got me there. I don’t really make time for it like I used to.”

“You should try, Mr. Kim. You deserve time to yourself, and if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.” You said sweetly.

“O-okay, thank you, Y/n.” The fact that he called you by your first name at work made your insides stir.

What excuse could you use next time to get him to spend time with you again?

Your next dream dates name was Hoseok, but he liked to be called ‘Hobi’, and he sure had a lot of energy. He was all sunshine and good vibes. He was attractive, of course, and his personality was endearing. The only problem was; even throughout these dream dates, you still thought of your boss. The one you couldn’t have. Well, not like you could have these men either since they were only made up, but that was besides the point. This was supposed to be a distraction, and it wasn’t working.

It was a good thing you had endless energy in your dreams, because Hobi was dragging you around town showing you all the lavish things there were in life. He really knew how to throw a party, too. When your alarm went off the next morning, you woke up extremely tired, and you had slept all night!

“Are you alright, Y/n?” Seokjin asked when he came to look for you in the middle of the work day to see if you had that paperwork ready for him. Luckily, you did. You just hope you didn’t make any mistakes.

“I’m okay, just tired. I was partying it up all night.” When your boss gave you a look of bafflement, you rushed to clarify. “Not actually! It was in my dreams…”

“I don’t understand, if it was only in your dreams, then why would it make you tired?” Seokjin asked like he wasn’t buying it, and what made it even worse, was the fact that he looked like he was internally judging you. Good going, Y/n.

“I’m being serious, Sir. It was in my dreams. Except, these dreams are more vivid.” You sighed. May as well tell him the truth, no matter how embarrassing it was. “My best friend won the ‘your dream boyfriend’ thing for me. Let’s just say, my date from last night’s dream was very energetic.”

“So, it was a sexual dream?” Seokjin asked, making you choke on your third cup of coffee.

“No. Not at all. None of the dreams are like that.” You defended. “I meant, energetic in other ways. Happy go lucky.”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t spend my nights in fantasies.” Your boss rolled his eyes.

You gaped at him. Was he insulting you? It hurt, because you wanted him to like you. You thought he did, but perhaps you’ve ruined it now? Great.

“She just thought it would help me to escape reality for a while. I never have any luck with real relationships, so I don’t see what the harm is.” You were frowning.

“Am I giving you too many hours that you feel like you need to escape reality? Y/n, I would never mean to give you more work than you could handle. If you need another day off during the week, I can give it to you. Just tell me.” Seokjin’s voice was soft now, all hardness gone from his eyes.

What if he was jealous of your dream dates, and that was why he reacted that way? No, that’s not it. You needed to get a grip. You would never have something with your boss.

“No, no, I don’t need another day off. You are really fair with everything, and I appreciate that you trust me so much being your assistant. It isn’t more than I can handle. I guess I just stress more about not doing the job good enough.” You said, handing him the papers you finished. “I hope I didn’t make any mistakes.”

“You do the job more than good enough. I couldn’t ask for a better assistant, I mean it. You keep my head on straight.” Seokjin chuckled, his words making your insides grow warm. “I’m sure the paperwork is fine. I trust you, tired or not.”

“That means a lot that you trust me so easily, thank you.” You gave him a shy smile.

Your boss gave you a nod, returning your smile. “And don’t call me Sir. That’s my father.”

“Yes, S- Mr. Kim.” You flushed, returning his nod.

How was he so intimidating? You were fine spending the day with him. You went skydiving together for goodness sakes. Skydiving! You still couldn’t believe it.

Your next dream date belonged to Taehyung, who was extremely sweet and had a kind smile. He took you out for a nice dinner, and some drinks. You took it easy on the drinks, even though you weren’t actually drinking in real life. You just didn’t want to chance it. You had a nice time with Tae, but you found yourself wondering what a romantic dinner with Kim Seokjin would be like? You couldn’t stop thinking about him, no matter how hard you tried.

The dream after that; it was Yoongi. He was the quietest of your dream dates, yet soft. He took you to adopt a cat from the animal shelter, and see, that right there should have had you sold. You loved a gentle man who loved animals just as much as you did. This wasn’t real though, and even if it were, you still would be wondering if Seokjin liked animals? Could you make an exception if he didn’t? There was only one way to find out.

“Do you like animals?” You asked your boss a week later. It was a Friday, and you had the weekend off.

He didn’t act confused by your random questions anymore. “Yes, I love animals. I don’t have any, due to my schedule. I feel it would be unfair to them. Maybe one day. Why do you ask?”

That made your face light up. Not only did he love animals, but he only wanted to get one when he would be able to give them his full, undivided attention. You felt like swooning, but he would notice, and that would put you in an embarrassing situation.

“I’m going to adopt another cat from the shelter tomorrow, and I want someone to come with me to help pick one out.” You said with hopeful eyes.

“Y/n, I have to-“ He cut himself off when he took in your expression. “I have a few things I need to get done, but I’ll do them early. Anytime after two pm, I can join you.”

“That’s perfect! Pick me up at two then.” You smiled happily as you left his office. Nothing could bring you down. Well, except for Amanda, your office neighbor.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” She all but glared at you as she entered your office.

You blinked, because what was that supposed to even mean. “I beg your pardon?”

“You, asking the CEO to join you on your childish excursions. HR would love to hear about you trying to seduce your boss.” She threatened.

“I- I’m not seducing him, Amanda. I’m allowed to be his friend-“

“Oh please, we both know you don’t want to be his friend. You’re just a whore trying to sleep your way to the top.” Her words were harsh, meant to dig, yet they only served to piss you off.

“That is not what I’m doing. I don’t care about what position I’m in. I do my job, and I do it good.” You bit out.

“You just need to learn your place. It’s foolish of you to think you even have a chance with the CEO. He is way too good for you.” She left with her final words ringing in your ear. It wasn’t like she told a lie. The man was too good for you. You were only his assistant, and that’s all you would ever be.

When Seokjin picked you up the next day, it was two pm on the dot, decked in jeans and a white t-shirt, looking as handsome as ever. Your boss was nothing if not punctual. It almost brought a smile to your lips, almost. You were still feeling down after Amanda’s words from yesterday.

He noticed your unusual silence when you arrived at the shelter. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy to be adopting a new cat?”

“Oh, I-“ You gulped, trying to snap out of this mood. “I am, of course.”

“Did you have a bad dream date last night?” He asked.

“No, I didn’t do that last night.” It was true, you hadn’t. You didn’t feel like it.

“Actually, I have a question…”

“Go for it.” Seokjin said, tone encouraging.

“My best friend… She’s seeing this guy, and she really likes him, but she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him. He’s really successful, and just… on another level, I guess. What kind of advice should I give her?” Of course, your best friend was actually happily married, and she definitely knew she was good enough for Adam.

“I’m not the best person to ask for dating advice, Y/n. I haven’t been in a relationship since my early twenties.” Seokjin responded apologetically.

“Okay, but, what do you think about that? Do you think even if she’s beneath him, they could still work?” You tried.

“I mean, If they care about eachother then I don’t see why it shouldn’t work. I don’t how he feels, but I know if it were me… I would just want someone kind, someone to make me happy, and I can make happy in return. Someone I can look forward to coming home to at the end of the day. Nothing else should matter.” He said truthfully.

“Thanks, Seokjin. I’ll have to tell her you said that. I’m sure that will be reassuring for her.” You smiled. You knew the situation you described was a little different. Seokjin was actually your boss, but it wasn’t like you could add that to your scenario. That would make it too obvious. You were glad to know that he didn’t care about rank, though. Exactly what he described; you wanted that too.

“No need to thank me, I hope it helps.”

“One more question.” You added.

He just smiled, giving you a look to go on.

You hesitated, and then just decided to go ahead and ask. “Um… Do you think my excursions are childish?”

He looked to be taken aback by your question. “What? Did someone tell you that?”

You shrugged.

“Who told you that? Did someone at work tell you that?” Now you were taken aback, because he looked angry. You could only imagine if you told him the rest of what Amanda said.

“It doesn’t matter.” He opened his mouth to argue that statement, but you continued speaking. “Please. I only asked because I wouldn’t want to drag you with me if-“

“Y/n. Who told you that?” He grit out through his teeth.

“Why do you need-“

“I don’t need someone working at my company who is harassing my assistant. Did this person say anything else?”

“Seokjin, honestly-“

“Y/n, I swear, what else did this person say?” His face was red now. You have never seen him like this, not once. “I don’t need someone’s words causing you problems, and that’s clearly not all they said to you. There’s more you’re not telling me.”

“Can we just enjoy the day, please, Seokjin?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder lightly.

“Fine, but I assure you, I will find out whether you tell me or not.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “And also, I don’t think your ‘excursions’ are childish. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how you spend your time. It sounds to me like this person is just jealous of how hard working you, and that you’re able to enjoy life.”

You wondered if he was serious about whether he would find out or not, but you decided not to press. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have let it bother me.”

“I think whatever else they said is what bothered you the most.” He added with a frown, and you didn’t correct him, because he was right. You didn’t appreciate being called a whore and getting accused of sleeping your way to the top when you worked hard to be where you are. You always tried your best. You would never, ever, use your boss that way. You actually cared about him. He was a good man. This also wasn’t the first time you have had problems with Amanda. She constantly harassed you about your work. It was what caused most of your stress, but you decided to just deal with it.

“Let’s go find me a cat.” You put on a smile before getting out of the car before Seokjin could ask any further questions about the situation.

He let it go for now, and you were thankful for it.

The one that caught your eye the most was an older cat. Apparently, the owner had to move out across the country and decided to leave their cat behind. If it were you… There was no way you could leave your cats behind. People didn’t usually adopt the older felines either; always going for the kittens. Those were the ones that were almost always guaranteed a home. They were adorable, of course, but you could never stand the thought of any of the other cats who deserved a home just as much to be put down because nobody wanted them.

This cat, she was sweet. You could tell by the way she nudged her nose against your hand when you went to pet her.

“This is the one.” You smiled, looking over at Seokjin who was squatting next to you. She meowed and went to his side, and you watched as he smiled, leaning in to pet her himself. She started purring, rubbing her head all over his hand.

“Wow, she really likes you. I think even better than me.” You laughed as he scratched behind her ear.

“What can I say? I’m irresistible.” He gave you a sly wink, causing your brain to short circuit and your breath to stutter.

His words might have been meant as a joke, judging by the grin on his face, but what he didn’t know was the fact that yeah, he really was. You noticed at work, and even outside of work now, how much attention he got from women.

You tried your best to collect yourself, forming a smirk. “Oh yeah? Maybe you should adopt her, then.”

“Should I?” He suddenly asked. “Maybe you can stop by my house on days I have to work late to help me out, spend a little time with her.”

You were not expecting today to go this way, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “Are you trying to steal my cat, Mr. Kim?”

“Your cat? No one has adopted her yet.” He raised an eyebrow with a smirk, his fingers running over the cat’s fur. “And look, she loves me.”

Of course she does. Who wouldn’t? “Ugh, you win. I would be horrible to separate you two when she clearly likes you better, and wait… You would let me go to your home when you aren’t there?”

He shrugged. “Yes, why not? I mean, I can pay you. I wouldn’t expect you to do it for free.”

“That’s unnecessary and not what I meant. I would do it for free. I meant, you would trust me in your house?” You asked, surprised.

“Somehow, I don’t think you’re the type to steal all my belongings. Yes, I trust you.” He said firmly.

You flushed, which you were doing a lot of lately the closer you got to Seokjin. “Oh- I- okay. I can do that then. For free. Try to give me money and it will go straight back on your desk.”

He snorted, but gave you a nod. “Noted.”

When you and Seokjin walked up to the desk to let the worker know which one he was going to adopt, the man gave him a shocked look. “Are you sure that’s the one you want? We were actually going to put her down this evening. She’s getting old, and she’s been here a while.”

Your face dropped in sadness at his words. The poor thing would have been put down today… You wanted to cry.

Seokjin on the other hand, was giving the man a death stare that had him immediately backtracking. “What I meant was-“

“I don’t care what you meant.” He said lowly. “You made my friend upset, and that makes me upset. There was no need for you to say any of that. You could have just let me adopt the cat and let us be on our way. And also, the fact that you are trying to encourage me not to adopt a specific one so she could later be put to death tells me that you should not be working here at all if I’m being honest.”

The man opened and closed his mouth, completely chastised. You, quite frankly, were suddenly very turned on, and there was definitely a dampness to your panties that wasn’t there a moment ago. Shit. Who cared about your dream dates when Seokjin was the man of your dreams.

“I’ll be charging more for the attitude.” He finally stated.

Seokjin laughed. “That’s completely fine with me,” His eyes glanced down to his name tag. “Zack. As a matter of fact…” He trailed off, getting out his wallet to pull out a crisp set of one hundred dollars bills, handing them to the man. “That should cover it. Maybe it will teach you to let people adopt whatever animal they want without being so negative.”

The worker, Zack, counted the bills, his eyes practically bugging out of his head. “What the- who are you?”

“Kim Seokjin, CEO of Kim inc.” Your boss returned.

“Oh! My humble apologies, Sir. I- from now on… I won’t ever discourage anyone else like that. So sorry, Mr. Kim.” The man got out from behind the desk, bowing twice before unlocking the cage to hand the older cat to Seokjin with shaking hands.

You watched the exchange in awe.

“Good.” Seokjin said, holding the cat against his chest, his eyes still serious. “Have a good day, Zach.”

“You too, Mr. Kim. Once again, I apologize! Your welcome back anytime.” The worker said nervously before he looked to you. “Your boyfriend is scary.”

Boyfriend? “Oh- he-“

“Like I said, you are both welcome anytime! I’m sorry for upsetting you, miss.” It was clear he wanted you to leave to collect himself, so you nodded.

“Seokjin, you almost had the guy peeing his pants.” You shook your head with a small laugh once you made it to the car, the cat moving to lay on your lap as he drove.

“Well maybe he shouldn’t have said what he said. He made you upset. You looked like you were going to burst into tears. You don’t tell people not to adopt a cat, and then proceed to let you know that the animal should be put down instead of adopted. Who even says that?!” He asked, bewildered.

Damn. Seokjin was insanely hot when he was angry. Your underwear was uncomfortably sticking to you now. You wouldn’t wanna be the one to make him that mad.

“Thank you for today, Seokjin. Even though you are the one who ended up with a cat. I know it means a lot to this little lady that you adopted her.” You suddenly said, a soft smile placed on your lips as you rubbed her head gently. “Will you keep the name her owner gave her?”

“What do you think I should do?” He asked, like he sincerely wanted your input.

“Hmm, as much as the owners suck for abandoning her, she is probably so used to the name fluffy. Hey, what about fluffs? I’m sure she’ll get used to the small change.” You beamed.

Seokjin was giving you a strange look that you couldn’t identify as he pulled up in front of your home. It was almost… fond? Or maybe you were just reading into it. Then he was smiling as he reached for the cat in your lap. “Say goodbye to Y/n, fluffs. You’ll see her soon.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It made you want one.

“Goodbye, fluffs. I’ll see you soon pretty girl.” You stroked behind her ear before looking up at Seokjin. “I’ll see you Monday, Seokjin?”

He nodded, still giving you that strange look. “See you Monday, Y/n.”

Later on that evening when you were hanging out with your best friend, you got a text. You felt your heart racing when you saw it was Seokjin’s name pop up. He sent a selfie of him and his new kitty, and he was smiling with his head resting on her fur. Your heart stuttered.

‘I stopped and got her some food, and a whole bunch of cat toys. She likes the tuna stuffed toy the best.’ - Seokjin

You smiled down at your phone, looking at the picture again.

“What are you smiling at?” Hannah asked.

You looked up, innocent. “Hm? Oh, nothing.”

“Don’t ‘Hm, nothing’ me, Y/n! Who has you smiling like that?” She asked again, making grabby hands for your phone, but you held it against your chest tightly.

“No one, Han!” Usually, you wouldn’t mind telling her, but since it was Seokjin, you knew she would just look at you disapprovingly.

“Liar.” She finally got your phone out of your hands. “Oh my, who is that? He’s handsome. If I weren’t married-“

“Hey, shut up.” Hannah had never seen what your boss looked like.

“Ah ha! You know damn well I’m not serious. You’re claiming him anyway.” She laughed. “Let’s see, Seokjin? Seokjin… Wait, isn’t that your boss’s name?” You saw the moment it clicked in her head. “Holy shit, Y/n! You’re texting your boss?!”

“Hannah, it’s-“

“Y/n, I told you not to fall in love with your boss.” She said sadly.

“I’m not… in love with him. I- He’s a good guy, Han. He’s not what you think he is. He’s thoughtful, he’s kind, he’s funny. I like spending time with him.” You defended, a dreamy smile on your face. “He came with me today to adopt a cat, and he ended up adopting one himself. That’s why he sent me that picture. He got mad at the worker there for making me upset. You should have seen it.”

“Oh my god, you are totally falling in love with him, Y/n. It’s obvious.” She said in a serious tone.

“It- is it?” You asked, and now you were questioning yourself.

She nodded, only concerned for you.

“What do I do?”

“Nothing obviously. It’s not a good idea.”

Her words sat with you all night, and you were so upset that you ended up putting on the headset to have a dream date to hopefully cheer you up.

His name was Jimin, and he looked like an angel. He acted like one as well. He was kind and gentle. The two of you spent your date going to the snow. Apparently, you knew how to Ski in your dreams. You had no idea how to do it in real life. When he built a snowman with you; he poked your red nose from the cold.

You woke up the next morning feeling empty. It was summertime right now, but you still wondered what it would be like to go to the snow with Seokjin in the future, and for it to be an actual date. You longed for it. Hannah was right, you were falling for your boss, and you didn’t know what to do with that information, but you couldn’t do these dream dates anymore. You knew that.

A month had passed since that day you spent with Seokjin at the animal shelter. You had went to his house a few times to spend time with fluffs on the days he had to stay at work late. His home… More like mansion, was beautiful. When you first got a look at all of his gaming devices, it made you smile. He was not lying when he said he preferred to game.

You hadn’t spent time with him outside of work recently, and you missed it. You didn’t know how to bring it up. Now that you knew your feelings, you were terrified. It turned out, you wouldn’t have to be the one to say anything.

On a warm Saturday, you and Hannah were at the grocery picking out some snacks to head to the beach with. What you weren’t expecting, was to run into Seokjin there. He wasn’t working?

He looked surprised to see you as well. “Y/n… Hi.”

“Hey, Seokjin… I wasn’t expecting you here. I figured you’d be working.” You said teasingly.

He chuckled in response. “Well, It’s my mother’s birthday, actually. I’m surprising her with her favorite meal.”

Great. As if you needed another reason to fall for him. “Oh, that’s thoughtful of you. Tell her I said happy birthday.”

“Will do.” He smiled.

“Oh! This is my best friend, Hannah. Han, this is Seokjin.” You gave her a look that said ‘be nice’.

“Hello.” Seokjin gave a respectful bow, but Hannah just laughed it off and held a hand out for him to shake.

“Hi, Seokjin. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

You flushed. Why would she say that?

“Oh. All good things, I hope.” As he shook her hand, his eyes were glued on the ring doning her left finger. At first, you thought maybe he was disappointed, but he didn’t look to be at all. He looked more like he was thinking intently on something, like his brain was working overtime, and then you remembered what you told him a month ago.

‘My best friend has been talking to this guy, but she thinks he’s too good for her.’

Oh no. That meant he realized that your story was completely made up because your best friend was happily married. What had you gotten yourself into?! What would he think?

“I see it worked out well with the man you were talking to. You got married fast. Congratulations must be in order.” He suddenly grinned.

“Huh? I’ve been married for a few ye-ars.” Your best friend slowed down her sentence at the look you gave her, as if she realized her mistake too late, but then she returned your look with a completely lost one.

You deflated. This was so embarrassing.

“I see.” Was all Seokjin said, and then he was turning to look at you.

You winced. “I-“

“I’m gonna… go look for something.” Hannah pointed in the general direction of the store before taking off, leaving you alone with Seokjin.

“The person you were talking about was yourself, not your best friend.” He came to a conclusion. A correct one. “And, the guy. Is it me?”

“Yes, I- It was. I just…” You trailed off, not sure what to say. Everything was surely ruined now, including your friendship.

He stared at you for a few moments before he seemed to come to some kind of decision.

“Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

You looked up at him in shock. What???

“D-dinner… Like-“

“A date.” He clarified, and then he was smiling. “I’ll try to make it better than your dream ones.”

“You already do that. Those times we hung out… Way better than my dream dates...” You admitted shyly.

“Oh? Good to know.” He took a step closer to you now, most likely able to hear the way your heart was beating out of your chest. “Is that a yes then?”

“Yes… I would love to have dinner with you.” You agreed, a little embarrassed that your voice came out breathless.

“And how would you like that? Do you want me to take you out, or do you want to come over and I can cook for you?” He asked, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

He had you so nervous, but in a good way. “Whatever you would like, I’m okay either way.”

He shook his head. “No, sweetheart. What do you want?”

Your stomach clenched at his term of endearment, your insides fluttering. “I… I would like to try your cooking.”

“Then, my house tomorrow evening. Seven okay for you?” He checked.

“Seven is perfect.” You smiled.

“Good.” He returned your smile.” Well, I better go. My parents will be over soon, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/n.” He leaned in then, pressing a featherlight kiss to your cheek. It set your skin on fire.

You swallowed. “See you tomorrow, Seokjin.”

He gave you one last smile before he checked out with his groceries, and you completely forgot what you came here for until Hannah was back by your side. That’s right, snacks. “So… I was eavesdropping and heard everything.”

“Let me guess, you still don’t approve?” You sighed.

“Actually, I’m being swayed now. The chemistry? Out of this world! I was sweating just watching you two talk.” She fanned herself.

“I don’t know, Han… He may have just asked me to dinner because he felt bad about my embarrassing crush being revealed.” You didn’t want to get your hopes up. This entire situation just seemed way too good to be true.

What your best friend did next was unexpected. She smacked your cheek. It wasn’t hard at all, but still. “Hey! What was that for?!”

“It was for being a dummy. You are way overthinking this.” She gave you a knowing look. “This is coming from me, by the way… The one who didn’t trust men like him at first.”

“Okay, but-“

“There’s no buts. Seriously, stop overthinking it. That man is totally, one hundred percent into you. I can tell. I’ll even go as far as to say that he seems like someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, for once. He went skydiving with you, for goodness sakes, just because you asked. Literally, who does that? He’s probably been into you for a while, but didn’t want to take advantage since he’s your boss. Now that he knows for sure that you’re into him too, he decided to go for it.” Your best friend finished her rant. A lot of what she said did make sense, you had to admit that.

“You really think he’s into me?” You asked, and now you were feeling hopeful.

“I don’t think, I know. Trust me on this.” She insisted. “I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive at first.”

“It’s okay. You’re supportive now when it counts.” You smiled. “That’s all that matters.”

Hannah gave you a big hug accompanied with a grin. “So, what are you going to wear?”

“I’m- I don’t know. What should I wear?” You asked.

She rubbed a finger against her chin in thought. “Well, since you aren’t actually going out to eat somewhere, you don’t have to dress real fancy, but you still want to look hot. How about that one red dress?”

“You don’t think that will be too much?”

“Oh no, definitely not. You’ll definitely get laid if you wear that dress.” Her smile morphed into a smirk.

Your face flushed at the thought. “Who says I’m trying to get laid?”

“I mean, it’s about time, girl!” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Ugh, you’re the worst.” You turned around, taking off to pay for the snacks, the sound of her laughter following behind you.

You did wear the red dress, but now, standing in front of Seokjin’s door, you felt incredibly nervous. Not necessarily because of the dress, even though you still wondered if it was too much. You were nervous in general. All of those other times you hung out with him outside of work, you were only friends. This was a date. Not just any date… A date with your boss.

You swallowed your nerves, raising your hand to knock at the door. You had a key to his house, but it was only for you to go over when he worked late nights to take care of fluffs. This was different. This was the first time you would be in his home with him there as well.

Seokjin didn’t leave you waiting for long, opening the door for you to reveal him wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a tight black t-shirt. He looked really good, but then, he always looked good no matter what he wore.

Instead of moving aside to let you in, he was staring at you, his eyes roving over your form from head to toe. He seemed to be having trouble finding words, and it made you blush.

“Hi.” You decided to speak first, and that must have cleared whatever trance he was in because he finally moved aside to let you in, his own ears going red as he tripped over his own feet. This behavior was new.

“Hey- Hi. Sorry, I’m um, a little nervous.” He admitted, shutting the door behind you once you were inside.

That had you stunned, but somehow, it made you feel more at ease knowing you weren’t the only one. “You’re nervous?”

“Yes.” He responded. “You look really pretty, by the way. I like the dress.”

“Thank you. I was worried it might be too much.” You blushed with a smile. Your best friend hit the mark with that one.

“No, it’s… perfect.” That made you blush harder.

“You look very handsome.” You returned, feeling better about turning the attention onto him.

“Thank you.” A smile fell upon his plump lips. You wondered what it would feel like to kiss them.

You were about to respond when you seen Fluffs bounding down the stairs, running up to you to rub her face against your legs in greeting.

You chuckled, leaning down to give her a few pets. “Hi, pretty girl. I missed you.”

“You’re welcome over anytime to see her.” Seokjin smiled, watching the encounter.

“And what about you?” You cannot believe those words just came out over your mouth. Oh well, too late to take them back.

“That too. Especially that.” He grinned, guiding you to the kitchen with a fluffy kitty following behind.

“I made Mulhoe, but I wasn’t sure if you like seafood, or if you’re allergic or anything... I should have asked. So, I made some meat too, just in case.” His words came out unsure, like he didn’t want to mess things up. It made your heart swell.

“Both sound really good, Seokjin. I enjoy seafood, but I’ll have some of both so nothing goes to waste. I appreciate you cooking, thank you.” You gave him a shy smile, sitting down at the table while he brought the food over for the both of you to eat.

Everything was delicious, and he turned red when you told him as much, complimenting his cooking skills tremendously. You made sure he knew you weren’t exaggerating either, and when you told him that you also enjoyed cooking, he beamed, saying that maybe sometime the two of you could cook something together. All you could think was; that meant he wanted another date with you.

After dinner, you tried to help him clean up, but he wouldn’t let you, insisting for you to sit down and relax, so you finally relented, sitting down on the couch. You weren’t sure what came next. You had dinner together, that was the plan, but you hadn’t planned anything further. You spent a good hour learning more about eachother. It was funny, because you’ve known him for a while now, having worked for him, but there was still so much more to learn. You were happy to find out new things about him that you didn’t know before.

It didn’t take him too long to clean up, and soon he was taking a seat next to you on the spacious couch. Right next to you, his thigh resting right up against yours. The nerves were back.

“I had a good time, Y/n. Thank you for joining me for dinner.” He looked over to you with a relaxed smile.

“Me too, Seokjin. Thank you again. I um- should I be leaving now?” You asked.

His eyes widened in response to your question. “Do you want to leave?”

“No, of course not. I just wasn’t sure…” You trailed off.

“Come here.” He gave his lap a pat.

You obliged, even through your blush, lightly swinging your leg over his lap to straddle him, settling your hands on his wide shoulders.

“Can I kiss you, sweetheart?” He asked, his hand coming up to cradle the side of your head.

“Yes.” You nodded, heart racing as his palm moved to the back of your head to pull you in, his lips slotting against yours perfectly, starting the kiss off slow, almost gentle like. It had sparks shooting up your spine, the way he felt.

You spent a while like that, enjoying the feeling of his plush lips moving against yours before his tongue traced the seam of your lips, not forceful; a question. You answered by parting your lips, granting him entrance as one of your hands moved down to squeeze his bicep, your other one moving around to rest at the nape of his neck.

The way he moaned softly when your tongue met his had a fresh wave of wetness leaking onto your panties, which were flush with his jeans right now since you were wearing a dress.

You pressed yourself fully against his chest when his hands traveled down to settle on your hips, his fingers gripping the material of your dress as you explored eachothers mouths, his tongue stroking against yours like he knew exactly how to get you to melt for him, and this time; it was you who let out a little moan.

A shift to the left had you feeling a bulge underneath, pressing against your core through the material of his jeans and your underwear. The thought that you had him hard for you already was a heady one, and you found yourself grounding your hips down against him.

“Fuck…” Seokjin let out a hiss against your lips, breaking the kiss to look at you, plump lips red and swollen. He looked like a dream. You began rocking your hips against him as you buried your face in his neck, trailing wet kisses along his clavicle.

“Ah, Y/n, wait.” He dragged your face away from his neck reluctantly. Almost like he really, really, didn’t want to, and then his eyes were meeting yours. “We don’t have to do anything. I want you, I do, but I don’t want you to think I invited you over here just for sex.”

“Well I’m glad, because I really want you too, Seokjin. I’ve wanted you for a long time now. Very badly, so please…Don’t make me wait.” Your begging did something to him, because he was dragging your core deliberately over his cock, thrusting his hips up to really let you feel him. It made you gasp. He felt big, even through the denim.

“How can I refuse when you ask so sweetly?” His fingers were sliding underneath your dress, and you let out a wanton moan as he cupped your pussy over your drenched panties. “Shit, you do want me bad, you’re soaked, baby.”

“Ah, Seokjin…” Your boss calling you baby made you feel desperate, your hips rocking against his hand. You felt like it wouldn’t take much for you to cum, not when it was him who was touching you.

“I hope you know how insane you drive me; how many times I made myself cum to the thought of you. I tried to fight it, because it would be very unprofessional of me to go after you, but now that I know you feel it too, I don’t care anymore. I’m done hiding how much I want you.” He moved your panties out of the way before he was pressing his middle finger inside of you to the hilt, and you moaned out his name when he crooked it inside of you.

“So many times, I’ve wondered what you would look like as you cum. I bet you look so pretty. I want you to show me.” When you looked into his eyes, you noticed how lust blown they were, and it made you shudder, rocking your hips against his fingers when he added another one inside of you, the rough denim of his jeans stimulating your clit on every thrust down. His words were turning you on beyond belief. He thought about you just like you’ve thought about him?

“That’s it sweetheart, ride my fingers. Fuck, you look so gorgeous coming undone for me like this.” You threw your head back in pleasure when his fingers started battering your g-spot, almost blacking out when his thumb moved up to stroke your clit.

“Seokjin, I’m- I’m close.” You panted out, and you barely even had to move with the way he was roughly fucking his fingers in and out of you, wet squelching noses filling the air.

“You feel so tight around my fingers. Bet you’d feel like heaven around my cock.” He growled out, and that was when you lost it, your thighs shaking as you squirted around his fingers, core clenching and unclenching as your orgasm rushed through you, his name falling from your lips.

Seokjin watched in awe as you convulsed in his lap, his cock throbbing hard in the confines of his jeans, borderline uncomfortable and on the verge of blowing a load in his underwear. He had to slowly breath and count to ten to calm himself. “Holy shit, Y/n.”

You felt mildly embarrassed as your release soaked his hand and jeans, but you were more in shock because no man had ever made you squirt before, and when you told Seokjin as much, a possessive glint sparkled in his eyes.

“This was better than anything I could have pictured in my wildest dreams.” He breathed out, staring down at his hand wet with your juices with a deep rooted need, and next thing you knew he was slowly sucking his fingers into his own mouth, a groan leaving his lips as his eyes closed. “Taste better than I imagined, so fucking sweet.”

Your face was scarlet red as you watched him lick your slick release off of his hand like a man starved, and your poor cunt clenched with need again.

“Seokjin…” You gave a whine, moving your hand between your bodies to cup him through his jeans.

He let out a feral growl at your touch, and then he was standing up with you in his arms. “I’m taking you to bed, and then I’m going to feed you my cock and fuck you so hard until the only thing you know is my name.”

You let out a stunned breath as he lifted you off the couch, your legs wrapping around his hips and your arms settling around his neck as he carried you up to the stairs into his bedroom. “Yes, I want that. Please, Seokjin…”

Even though you had been to Seokjin’s house before, you had never been in his bedroom. You didn’t have time to admire it so much either because he had you laid out for him on his massive bed. It was probably the most comfortable bed you had ever felt. That, you were able to admire. Where did he get this thing?!

You were about to ask him as much, but your words died in your throat as he yanked his t-shirt over his head, revealing his golden chest, abs that led down into a glorious tiny waist. Everything about this man was gorgeous. You bet anything that the same would go for his cock.

Once he had you completely bare before him, his lustful eyes trailed down the length of your body before dragging back up to your face. “God, you’re so beautiful, Y/n.” He whispered hoarsely before leaning down to attack a nipple, his hand coming up to squeeze your other breast, giving it just as much attention as he was the one in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the hard nub.

“Please, Jin, I want you.” You breathed out, not sure how he would feel about you shortening his name, as it just spilled out of you, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.

He moved to straddle your hips before unzipping his jeans, popping the button open before shoving them down with his boxers in one go, his hard cock springing free to slap against his stomach. Saliva formed in your mouth just looking at it.

He was big, just like you had assumed from feeling his bulge underneath you earlier. The long length of him was also girthy with a prominent vein bulging out from the underside. The head was angry with the need to cum. He was so hard that it must have been uncomfortable for him having it stuffed in his jeans for so long.

“Of course everything about you has to be hot.” You said as if it were unfair, sitting up to wrap your small hand around his cock, dipping into the slit at the velvety head that was steadily leaking pre-cum before smoothing it down the length of him.

A laugh escaped him that morphed into a groan as you touched him, but way too soon; he was pulling your hand away from him. You pouted.

“I won’t last if you keep touching me. I need to be inside of you.” He explained, moving you to lay back down before settling between your legs. When he went to reach into his nightstand drawer, you reached for his hand.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. I want to feel you bare, Seokjin, please.” At first, you thought he might deny you with the look of surprise on his face, but then he was leaning over you again with a needy sound, sliding his bare cock through your wet folds, and you let out a moan as he rubbed it against your clit a few times, his eyes drawn to the sight.

“Ah- Jin, don’t tease me. Want your cock, ple-“ Your words cut off in a gasp as his cockhead breached your entrance, slipping right in due to how wet you were, but you could definitely still feel the pain from your walls stretching around the thickness of him. When he pushed in an inch further, your cunt contracted around him, sharp pain lacing through you as it tried pushing him out.

“Fuck, you’re too tight, sweetheart. Are you sure you can take me? We can-“

“No, no, please… I can take you. Don’t stop, please. I want to take you.” Your voice was needy as you gripped his shoulders, trying to relax your muscles.

“Such a good girl, so needy to take my cock.” Seokjin praised, moving a hand between you to rub at your clit to help you relax as he fed you more of his cock. “Shit- so tight… I’m halfway there.”

“Only half?! Is your dick endless?” Your words made him chuckle, the sensation of being split open on his cock making you feel impossibly full, and he wasn’t even all the way in yet.

“Almost there. You’re doing so well, sweetheart. Look so pretty taking my cock.” He pressed inside the last few inches, the head of his dick pressing right up against your cervix.

You could tell he was trying so hard not to move, biting his lip before burying his face in your chest, his breathing harsh. “Fuck, Y/n… You feel way too good.”

“You too, Jin- Ah… Never been so full. Please move…” You tangled your fingers in his hair, his low growl causing sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine when you gave it a sharp tug.

Once he pulled out to the tip, only to slam back, spearing you open on his cock; he didn’t let up, setting a harsh pace, fucking into you with hard jabs that stole the breath from you. All you could do was lay there and take it as he battered your g-spot. You weren’t going to last long, especially when his thumb came between your bodies to stroke your engorged clit.

“Best cunt ever, shit - look at how good it squeezes my cock. It’s mine now. You’re mine.” He growled possessively as he shoved his cock inside you mercilessly. “Fuck- I’m close.”

“Me too… Cum inside of me, Jin, please, please.” You begged, unable to do anything other than scream his name as your orgasm hit you, the walls of your cunt contracting around him.

“Oh- Oh fuck-“ Seokjin let out a keening sound of your name as his cock throbbed, shoving himself deep inside of you as he came in hard spurts, painting your insides with his release.

His lips crashed against yours as you came down from your orgasm, and you sighed happily into it, drawing him in close, every inch of your bodies touching until he eventually softened inside of you, the kiss slowing into a languid exploration of eachothers mouths.

While the way he fucked you was hard; the way he cleaned you up was so gentle you felt like you could cry. You weren’t sure what happens now. Would he want you to leave? You didn’t want to go, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome.

Turns out, you didn’t have to think much longer because Seokjin was dragging you into his arms, nuzzling his nose in the back of your neck, pressing a kiss to the skin, making you shiver. “Stay.”

The way your heart clenched told you that you were one hundred percent falling in love.

“Okay, but you will have to let me up to go pee.” You were so, so happy.

“Mm, no.” He only nuzzled closer, arms tightening around you.

“Seokjin!” You laughed, but you made no move to break free from his hold.

“Fine. Hurry back.” He let you go, and you did hurry, because you wanted to be back in his embrace as soon as possible.

This time when you got into bed, you were facing him, nuzzling your nose into his chest. You noticed he had taken his boxers back off. It felt nice just feeling his body against yours, skin to skin.

“Jin?” You murmured his name in question in the dark, the only sound being his heartbeat against your ear.

“Hm?” His voice was sleepy, muffled into your hair.

You were scared to ask, yet you did anyway. “What- what does this mean for us?”

You could feel his arms tighten around you marginally, as if he was afraid to let you go. “If I’m being completely honest, I want you to be mine, but I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for. I don’t - I want- No… I need you to know that if we were to do this… I may be your boss, but in this relationship; if that’s what you want with me… We’re equals. You getting as far as you did only had to do with how incredibly smart you are, your work, and your ambition. Not because of my feelings for you. You know that, and I know that.”

“Other people won’t know. They will talk, and they will judge. You already fired Amanda because-“

“She called you degradable names, and harassed you for months. I do not tolerate that behavior, and that goes for anyone who works for my company.” He pointed out.

“I know, Jin. Of course I know that. I’m just saying how it will look.” You whispered.

He tilted your chin up gently so he could look you in the eyes, nothing but love shining in those brown eyes. You felt like you could lose yourself in the the depth of them. “That’s why I’m saying I don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t ready for. I would never want to subject you to whispers behind your back. If this is something you don’t want, I’ll understand completely, and I’ll let you go. Your job will be safe, no matter what.”

The thought of not being with him was more unbearable than having people talk behind your back. You could handle it, you were strong, and you knew the reason you had this job was because you were good at it. Seokjin though… Now that he was here telling you that he was yours if you wanted him; you wouldn’t give that up. If people didn’t understand, that was on them. You knew what you and him meant to eachother. Your decision was made. “I don’t want you to let me go. Promise me that you won’t. I want to be with you.”

“I promise.” He said right away, pressing his forehead to yours. “I’ll talk to HR, and let them know we’re together. They’ll want to talk to you too, are you okay with that?”

You nodded. “Yes, it’s best we don’t hide it from them.”

“So, you’re sure… You want to do this with me?” He checked in on you.

“I’m absolutely one hundred percent sure. I want to do this with you.” A smile fell upon your lips then. “How could I give this up when you are everything that I want?”

He kissed you then, and you could practically feel him smiling against your lips. “I was hoping you would say that. There’s nothing I want more, than to be with you.”

You spent the rest of the night kissing him until you could no longer stay awake, and the next morning, he cooked you breakfast before you had to head home to feed your cats breakfast. Seokjin had told you later that evening while you were taking a walk along the beach together, that eventually, he wanted to get a dog as well. You would remember that.

Two years later…

At first, dating your boss hadn’t been easy, but you never expected it to be. Love was never always meant to be easy, but it was worth it. There were people who talked behind your back quite a bit, but you expected that. You knew that would happen. It was inevitable, but what did surprise you, was how many coworkers that you were close with supported you and Seokjin as well. You had expected them to stop talking to you, but instead, they had told you that you didn’t choose who you fell in love with, it just happens, and that they were happy for you both. They could see with their own eyes what you meant to eachother. Their words were true. Falling in love with Seokjin was also something that was inevitable. It was a part of who you were, and every day, you fell even more in love with him.

One of the amazing things about working with the man that you were hopelessly in love with was the fact that you got to see him all of the time because you lived with him now as well. Also something you learned about Seokjin, was he was incredibly clingy. You didn’t mind it one bit. In fact, you encouraged it, loving his attention. That’s just how it was when you loved someone. When you took your days off, you took them together, and he finally made use of his vacation days he had built up to travel with you to different countries. You always laughed fondly whenever he brought all of his gaming systems with him wherever you went. It wouldn’t be him if he hadn’t.

Today, it was the middle of the work day, and your attention caught on the silver engagement ring glinting on your left ring finger when the sun hit it through the open window. You admired it for a good minute, just like you did every day ever since Seokjin proposed to you five months ago.

Speaking of your fiancé, he was walking into your office right now with a large takeout bag. You raised your eyebrows. Another thing about Jin; he loved food. He really loved cooking at home with you too. You enjoyed the domesticity of it as well, the way you moved around each other in the kitchen so easily.

“Baby, guess what!” He didn’t give you time to guess before he continued speaking, and a smirk rose to your face as you listened to him. “That new seafood restaurant right next to work finally opened up today! I can’t believe we didn’t notice it this morning on the way to work. The only reason I noticed now was because I was leaving the office to go grab us some lunch and I noticed it was packed!”

“Let me guess, you couldn’t decide what to order, so you picked everything on the menu.” Your smirk widened into a grin. Your fiancé was adorable when he got this way.

“Ah Ha! That’s an exaggeration, but I may have went a little overboard.” His ears turned red.

“A little?” A laugh escaped you as you eyed the many take out bags. “I think you just became the restaurant owner’s favorite customer already.”

“I don’t know about all that.” He waved it off with a blush. Modest. Your laugh morphed into a giggle. “Besides, you know how much the office enjoys free food. Minho from across the way was practically drooling onto his desk.”

“Oh, I bet.” You peaked into the bag. Of course he got your favorite, butter garlic shrimp, and he got some lobster for the both of you to share. There would be plenty of leftovers for the rest of the office, that was for sure. “My fiancé is so thoughtful. Thank you, Jinnie. I’m treating you to your favorite ice cream place on the way home. Oh, and also, I have a surprise for you!”

“Surprise?” His face lit up, pulling up a chair to sit next to you as you both ate.

“Mhm.” Was all you responded with.

“I’m curious.” He tilted his head in thought.

“You’ll just have to wait and see, handsome. I can’t say too much, hence it being a surprise.” You grinned.

Suffice to say, Seokjin really loved his surprise. It was a puppy. A boy. A cute little golden retriever. Hannah had told you that her coworker’s dog was having babies and was looking for a home for some of them. You jumped at that opportunity, remember the words your fiancé had told you a couple years ago about wanting a dog one day.

You both came to the conclusion of naming him RJ, and he got on well with your three cats. As a matter of fact, they were all cuddling together on the floor while you and Seokjin watched a movie on the couch. That night, you talked about having a family together someday. You wanted it just as much as your fiancé did. Crazy how your dream dates led you to the actual man of your dreams. Kim Seokjin was the love of your life, and you couldn’t wait to marry him.

It seemed like he was thinking the exact same thing right now, because the next thing he said was, “I can’t wait to marry you, Y/n. In less than a month, you’ll be my wife… Mrs. Kim.”

“And I can’t wait to be your wife. I couldn’t be happier.” You cupped his cheek, resting you forehead against his. He kept his promise to you, his promise of not letting you go, and he solidified that promise the day he proposed to you, and it would be completely fulfilled the day you married him. He was yours, and you were his, and it would be that way, always, forever.

“I love you.” He whispered the words he told you every day, and you never tired of hearing them. You wanted to hear those words for the rest of your life.

“And I love you.” You kissed him then, settling yourself in his lap on the couch, movie completely forgotten in the background.

You would be content, to spend every day like this with him. There was nothing you wanted more.

The end.

[mikrokkosmos7]

Skydiving your way to my heart

Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word count: 14.4k

AU: CEO Seokjin x Assistant reader- Boss x Employee romance, falling in love, explicit sexual content (minors dni!!), unprotected sex, tooth rotting fluff, very loosely inspired from kdrama boyfriend on demand

Summary: Kim Seokjin was your very hot, very unattainable boss. You told one lie to your best friend; that lie being that you wouldn’t fall in love with him. Because who were you kidding? It was impossible not to fall for him. What you didn’t know was that it would all be okay, because he would be there to fall with you. Mentally and quite literally.

It was a tiring day at the office because you hadn’t slept well the night before. You don’t know how your boss did it. How he put so many hours into his job. The man practically lived there. He ate there, he breathed there, and he may as well have slept there too. Who knows… Maybe he did?! You don’t even think he ever took a vacation, and what kind of life was that? That kind of life certainly wasn’t for you. You needed your vacation time. Times where you just wanted to relax and take it easy. While that wasn’t something he did, he always allowed you your vacation days, and he never once made a big deal about it. He always told you to enjoy it.

Finishing up your work load for the day was a relief. Time to go home and relax on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a movie before bed. That would be after you called your best friend back, of course. You had a missed call from her and a text message that read ‘Call me on your way home, I got something that you need!’ You hadn’t the slightest clue what that meant. Hannah was always cryptic.

You knocked on your boss’s door, waiting for his polite ‘Come in’ before entering. Mr. Kim was sitting at his desk going through a stack of papers, which was not surprising in the least. He looked so exhausted, like he was ready to go home and sleep, yet chose to stay anyway. Your first thought meeting the man was about how handsome he was, but you would absolutely not go there since he was your boss. There was no way he’d go for his assistant anyway. There was also two more facts; the first one being that this man was married to his work, if anything. There was no way he’d be able to maintain a healthy relationship with the hours he put in. When you first met him you thought there was no way he could be single with those looks, but the more you worked for him you thought there was no way he could be in a relationship. Dude was always here!

Another fact… You never had luck with relationships. Except for Junho. The only problem with that one was that you both had different future goals, so you settled for being friends. You figured you would end up as one of those single cat ladies. You already had two at home. Of course, that didn’t mean you didn’t want a relationship. You just hadn’t found Mr. Right, but you weren’t actively looking. If it happened, it happened, and if it didn’t, Well…

“Miss L/n,” Mr. Kim greeted you kindly. “What can I help you with?”

“Oh… I just wanted to let you know I finished faxing those papers, Sir. I’ll be off for the evening now.” You said awkwardly. As kind as the man was, he still intimidated you somehow. There was also his good looks. Why did he have to be so attractive? It was not fair.

“Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. You’ve really helped me out.” He responded, looking down at his watch in surprise. “Oh… I guess it really is late. Time flies so quick.”

“Yes, maybe you should go home and get some rest, Sir. You look tired.” You only realized what you said when it was too late, but you immediately backtracked. “I mean… I’m so sorry, Mr. Kim. I just meant, you must be tired. Not that you look it, but of course you don’t have to. I only meant…”

You let out a breath of relief when the man only chuckled. “Miss, L/n, it’s alright, and no need to lie to me. I probably do look tired. I won’t be here too much longer.”

Somehow, you doubted that, but you nodded anyway with a small smile. “Of course. Have a good night, Mr. Kim.”

“Have a good night, Miss L/n.” He returned with a smile of his own before redirecting his focus to the task in front of him, and you sighed as you left the building. You wished he would take care of himself more. He may have worked you a lot of hours, but he was a good boss. He was fair, and he always respected your requests. Whenever there were days you had to leave early because a family matter came up, he always understood. The load he put on your plate was only because he trusted you the most as his secretary, and he always praised your work. You knew that if you came to him and told him that it was too much for you, he would listen, but you found you liked him being proud of you, and the work was actually nothing you couldn’t handle. In fact, you didn’t mind it at all. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. It just always felt good to go home after a long day.

You completely forgot to call your best friend back on the way home. The reminder was the box left at your front door. You scrunched your eyes as you picked it up and walked through the door. Shoes off, a glass of wine, your large tv screen… The only thing missing was someone to come home to.

You dialed Hannah, hearing her voice after the third ring.

“What am I looking at here?” You asked, shaking the box to see if you could tell. It didn’t tell you much.

“Well open it, don’t just shake it.” She laughed over the line.

True. You didn’t know why you were procrastinating. Once you got the device out of the box, you blinked. “Your dream boyfriend.” It came out dryly.

“Well hold on, hear me out.” She said in a no nonsense tone.

“No need. I already know about this. A coworker who inherited an insane amount of money got one. She is in a complete fantasy world, Han. She won’t even date real men! Wait, how did you even afford this, by the way?” You asked incredulously.

“And why waste money on it as well!” You added for good measure. “It’s not real.”

“Well I didn’t, I signed up to win one and here we are.” You could practically see her shrugging.

“And why would you do that?” You still weren’t catching on.

“C’mon, Y/n… You could use something like this. Wouldn’t it be nice to escape reality every once in a while? This will show you what kind of men you actually deserve…” She said, trying to encourage you.

“The kind that don’t exist, you mean?” You snorted.

“That’s not true, I have Adam.” She defended.

“You’re one of the lucky ones, Han.” You said softly.

“I’m just saying. It can’t hurt. Have a little fun with it. All you gotta do is remember it’s not real.” Another encouragement.

“Alright, but only because you won it. I can’t just let it go to waste.” Was your excuse.

She laughed. “That’s good enough for me. Let me know how it goes!

You agreed with a shake of your head before hanging up. Apparently, all you needed to do was put on the headset, and it would put you to sleep, sending you to dream world. You sighed before doing exactly that, immediately passing out.

When you opened your eyes, you were on a plane. Your first thought was that you had to be traveling to somewhere, but then you realized it was not that big of a plane, and there was skydiving gear strapped to you. Oh, hell no! No, no, no! You were not doing this. You were so not doing this. This was something that you would never do in real life.

“How we feeling, gorgeous?” A male voice asked from beside you, and you jumped, turning to find a bright eyed man with boyish features that did not match the lip ring he was wearing, and he was covered in tattoos. He was cute, though. You used to have a thing for a guy with piercings. Nowadays, your type was a capable man in a sharp dressed suit with dark piercing eyes and full lips that formed a tired smile. Uhh… Wait, what? You just described your boss. You shook off those thoughts. Forbidden. Unwarranted. Unprofessional. Untouchable. Not gonna happen. About as unrealistic as these dream fantasies. Perhaps it was a good thing you were doing this. You could enjoy this. You refocused your attention on this cutie.

“Um, not very good. How about we do something else?” You asked with a nervous chuckle. You didn’t know this mans name. Didn’t know if you were dating. Didn’t know how you got here on an airplane.

“You’re the one who suggested it, silly. Come on, I’ve got you. I’m nervous too… We can do this together.” The man encouraged, reaching for your hand.

“All set, Jungkook, Y/n? Quite a first date here, I must say.” The pilot laughed. His name was Jungkook, and it was your first date.

Jungkook laughed too, and you tried to join in, but it came out forced. He waited for your response. He wouldn’t force you. This was only a dream right? A fantasy. It wasn’t real. You were actually safe at home on your bed. If this was something you feared in real life… why not do it in this fake world to say you experienced it atleast once; well, in a way.

“Okay.” You nodded, mentally pumping yourself up. “You’re right… I suggested this.”

Jungkook gave you an adorable smile in response, giving your hand a squeeze before settling in behind you. The pilot buckled you together, and you were now standing against the edge of the plane. The countdown was a distant buzz as you squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t look. Once it got to zero, Jungkook gave you that final nudge that sent you both over the edge. A scream automatically ripped from your throat as you plummeted down, down, down, the wind whipping over your face, adrenaline pumping through your veins. It genuinely felt like you were flying, and when you finally heard the parachute opening, so did your eyes, taking in the sights of the beach before you crash landed on the sand.

Holy shit… That was incredible. It was so much… fun. It made you feel so alive. More alive then you had been in a very long time. “Wow…”

“Wow is right.” Your companion agreed from beside you, helping you get your gear off.

The rest of the date went by in a blur, the two of you spending it on the beach of wherever this was. You had no clue, and you couldn’t exactly ask without sounding crazy. You would just enjoy it. Jungkook was a nice guy, and he was a lot of fun. You didn’t exactly feel that spark, but you realized you didn’t have to. This was only a fantasy.

“When I saw you, Y/n, I fell in love at first sight.” Jungkook looked over at you adoringly, fingers intertwined with yours as you walked along the shore, sand sticking between your toes. “I hope maybe you feel it too.”

As much fun as you had, you didn’t feel it, and you knew this wasn’t even real, but he thought it was, so you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. You actually did like the guy, and once upon a time, he would have been exactly your type.

You opened your eyes with a start when your alarm went off the next morning, taking the headset off as you pressed a hand to your chest, your eyes adjusting to your surroundings back at your apartment. That was positively insane how real that felt. It was like you actually experienced it yourself, including the skydiving. A laugh bubbled out of you. You couldn’t believe you actually did something like that, fantasy or not. You found that you couldn’t wait for your next date, whatever it may be, with whoever it may be.

Your boss should really let loose and try something like this. You chuckled at the thought, walking into work an hour later with a skip in your step.

“You look happy today, Miss, L/n.” Mr. Kim greeted you when you knocked on his office door before opening it, handing him a cup of coffee, his favorite.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to.” He added, taking a sip before letting out a pleasant sigh.

“What are assistants for.” You shrugged it off with a wave. “Who else would take care of you, Sir?”

Your boss choked on his coffee in response, his ears going beet red, and you couldn’t exactly blame him; you never really said things like that. Perhaps you were still feeling that adrenaline rush from your dream. Speaking of…

“I was thinking of going skydiving on Sunday.” You added, putting him out of his misery from your last comment.

“Oh, wow, that’s - I never expected you to be a thrill seeker.” Mr. Kim responded with wide eyes.

“Tell me about it.” You chuckled, getting a confused look in response, your boss’s head tilting to the side, reminding you of a bird.

“Anyway… I don’t want to do it alone, obviously. That would be pushing myself too far, and I know Hannah won’t do it. That’s my best friend.” Your boss blinked. Get on with it Y/n! “I wanted to ask if you would join me, if you would take a day off, that is. I know you practically live here.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Kim Seokjin said in response, and you just looked at him. Really?

“I don’t do well with heights. Skydiving has never been something on my agenda of things to do.” He added.

“Oh, yeah, I get it. It’s… a lot. I can… I’ll put on a brave face and do it alone.” You inhaled a sharp breath with a smile. Or you could just not do it all, your brain added.

Your boss stared at you blankly for a good minute that you started feeling intimidated. “Well, let me know if you need anything.” You started backing away.

“I’ll go.” He finally spoke, and your jaw dropped.

“Really?” You had to make sure you were hearing yourself right.

“Yes, but if you ask again, I may change my mind.” He said bluntly.

“Noted, Sir! I appreciate this, really.” You gave him a bow before exiting his office to start your work day.

Wow, you can’t believe you actually got him to agree.

Later on that evening, you had your best friend stunned in silence over the phone.

“So, let me get this straight. You went skydiving on your first virtual dream date with a tattooed cutie, and now, not only are you going to actually do it in real life… You’re doing it with your boss! Did I get that right? Your hot, unattainable boss. THE MULTIMILLIONAIRE CEO OF THE COMPANY?!” Her voice echoed over the line from how loud she was talking.

“That’s about the gist of it.” You agreed calmly.

“Y/n, I might have made a mistake winning that for you. You go on one virtual fantasy date, and now you’re living in a fantasy land entirely, just like your coworker. CEO Kim may as well be in the virtual dream world! You’re his assistant. I’m not saying you aren’t good enough, so don’t get that idea your head, because I know you’re an overthinker. What I’m saying is; going from the way you have talked about him… He seems too professional to date his secretary. You even said he was married to his job.” She expressed in concern.

“First of all, Hannah. It’s not even a date at all. He said he would go so I didn’t have to go by myself. And second of all…I know what I’m doing. I’m just trying to show him what it’s like to live outside of work.” You tried to explain. It made perfect sense to you. Why didn’t it to her?

“Are you hearing yourself right now? Why do you want to do that?” She sounded exasperated.

“What do you mean?”

You heard her let out a sigh. “Nothing. Just promise me you won’t go falling in love with your boss.”

“I promise, Han. See? Easy. I’m not gonna fall in love with him. He’s unattainable, remember?” You reminded her.

“Going skydiving with you doesn’t sound that unattainable to me, Y/n.” She retorted.

“I already told you, he’s going so I don’t have to go alone.” You heard her snort.

“And why would he care if you go alone?”

“He’s a nice person, believe it or not.”

“Or not. Rich millionaires are not nice. Most of the time, they’re assholes, so I don’t trust him.” She rebuffed.

“No, he’s not like that. It would show in his work ethic if he was. He never looks at people like they’re beneath him, even if they are.” You explained.

“I still don’t trust him. Just… Remember what I said.” You promised her that you would before letting her off the phone to rest for the night. She didn’t need to worry. Yeah your boss was hot, but you weren’t going to fall in love with him.

Sunday came quicker than you thought it would, and you did not spend the rest of the week thinking about it. You absolutely didn’t. Mr. Kim said he could pick you up if it would be easier, and head to the diving area from there. It wasn’t picturesque and in a romantic setting like your dream was. As a matter of fact, you found that you liked this valley of flowers you would land in. You did have to stop and ask yourself why exactly you were doing this, but you didn’t have the answer.

“Thank you for coming with me, Mr. Kim.” You mentioned on the airplane ride up, nerves setting your system alight. You weren’t so sure about this. The dream wasn’t real. This is. You’re actually about to jump out of a damn plane.

“We’re not at work, you don’t have to call me Mr. Kim.” Your boss mentioned. He was looking a little pale where he wasn’t before.

“Oh, of course. Seokjin, you don’t have to do this with me.” You said softly.

“It’s fine. I already agreed to it.” He shook his head, and then, “You’re not scared?”

“I’m terrified.” You chuckled nervously.

“We’re here. You both ready?” The pilot asked with a raised brow, to which you both nodded.

You felt Seokjin settle in behind you for the pilot to buckle you together, his arms wrapping around you to rest against your stomach. Except, unlike Jungkook’s touch, this one had goosebumps rising to your skin, and you shivered. Not the least bit cold. That right there, was your first sign that you were in trouble.

You stepped toward the edge, looked down, and immediately froze in fear.

“Seokjin, I don’t know-“

He cut you off by turning the both of you around. Now he was the one at the edge, backwards, but he didn’t jump. Not yet. “Do you really want to do this?”

You thought about it for a split second, did you? Not really… Now that you were now faced with the reality of it, but… You were already here, and you remembered how alive you felt in your dream. You also didn’t want to waste Seokjin’s day. “Yes, I-“

You felt him fall backwards, his arms tight around you as the buckles attached to his dragged you with him. The two of you fell, together. The wind knocking the breath from your lungs. Where you thought it felt real in your dream, it was nothing compared to this. You were going so fast that you could barely let out a scream, and when you both ended up on your stomach’s facing the ground, it truly felt like you were flying, even though you weren’t. You were falling.

“Are you okay?” Seokjin’s voice sounded in your ear.

“Yes.” You yelled back loud enough for him to hear.

“I’m going to let go of you, okay?” It made you nervous, but you knew he had to let go to inflate the parachute. It’s okay, you were buckled together.

“Okay.” You squeezed your eyes shut, his arms no longer holding you as he pulled the parachute open, the pace in which you went down declining, and you let yourself enjoy it, your arms spread out like you were flying, appreciating it when Seokjin’s arms came around you once more, the both of you falling into the field of sunflowers when you met land.

As amazing and fun as that was… “I’m never doing that again.” You breathed out when Seokjin unbuckled your gear for the both of you to collapse on your back in between the flowers.

“Good, cause me either.” He let out a breathy laugh, looking up at the sky.

You looked over at him, stunned. You had never, not once, heard your boss laugh. It was nice, the way it made his face brighten. No, Y/n, stop it. You abruptly sat up, staring at the vast amount of flowers in front of you.

He sat up as well, completely oblivious to your inner dilemma. “What now?”

You blinked. “You don’t have work that needs to be done?”

“You expect me to work after just going skydiving? I have so much energy.” He stood up, holding a hand out to help you. You took it, the brief touch causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. You needed another dream date as a distraction tonight. Why did you have to feel this way about your boss? It would get you nowhere good. Or atleast, that’s what you thought.

“Hey, you never know. You are a workaholic.” You teased, dusting off your jeans.

“Yah! I’ll have you know-I take time off.” His voice fell at the end.

“Literally when?” You laughed.

“Um, today, and- and- Well, I know there is more. I just can’t remember.” He shrugged. Uh huh.

“These sunflowers are so pretty. Will you take a picture of me before we go?” You asked hopefully, holding your phone out to him with the camera open.

He took your phone from you wordlessly, waiting for you to pose before holding it up to get you in the frame, and you smiled when the camera flashed.

“How did it turn out?” You asked hesitantly, watching as his eyes took in the picture he just took.

“Pretty.” You were scared to ask if he was talking about the flowers, or you, or you by the flowers.

You settled for moving beside him to see the picture for yourself. It would do. You took the phone back, and then he was handing his over to you.

“My turn.” It made you smile that he wanted to take one as well, but his straight face made you laugh.

“What?” He asked, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

“Smile, Seokjin. You look mad.”

His jaw dropped. “I’m not mad.” And then he was smiling, his cheeks scrunching up, and yes, that’s it. You snapped the photo.

“How did it turn out?” He returned the same question you had.

Beautiful. “It turned out really nice.” Was what you actually said, but it was accompanied by an encouraging smile.

“What if we take another one together this time? For the memory of facing our fears…” You added.

“Hm, okay.” He responded, reaching for his phone before stepping beside you, putting the camera on selfie mode. “Ready?”

You were momentarily stunned that he used his phone instead of asking for yours, but you recovered quickly, smiling with a nod. “Ready.”

He aimed the camera above you to get the sunflowers in the screen, a smile rising to his lips as well as he snapped the selfie before putting his phone back in his pocket.

“You’ll send it to me later?” You asked.

“Of course.” He agreed automatically, throwing the skydiving gear over his shoulder.

Later on that night, he kept his word, your phone buzzing. When you noticed his name, you opened it right away to see the picture from earlier staring back at you. It made you blush.

Oh boy. You decided to put on your headset for a dream date tonight. Otherwise you would lay up all night thinking about the time you spent with Seokjin, your unattainable boss.

This one’s name was Namjoon, and he was incredibly smart and sophisticated. You learned that he loved art, and attending galas; which was how you ended up at one on your date. It wasn’t usually your thing, but really, this was only a fantasy, so you were just along for the ride.

Despite art galas not being your thing, Namjoon was very kind and definitely easy on the eyes. You enjoyed the date for what it was, but when you awoke the next morning to your alarm; all you could think about was your boss. Perhaps it wasn’t a good thing for you to spend time with him outside of the office.

“Do you like art galas?” You asked your boss after handing him his morning coffee.

“I can’t say I’ve ever been to one.” His eyes told you he was confused by your question. “I’m more of a gamer.”

You blinked, your eyes widening in shock. “You game?”

“Is that surprising?” He raised a brow.

“Um- I- Well, kinda. I guess I’m more surprised that you do anything besides work.”

You got a snort in response. “You got me there. I don’t really make time for it like I used to.”

“You should try, Mr. Kim. You deserve time to yourself, and if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.” You said sweetly.

“O-okay, thank you, Y/n.” The fact that he called you by your first name at work made your insides stir.

What excuse could you use next time to get him to spend time with you again?

Your next dream dates name was Hoseok, but he liked to be called ‘Hobi’, and he sure had a lot of energy. He was all sunshine and good vibes. He was attractive, of course, and his personality was endearing. The only problem was; even throughout these dream dates, you still thought of your boss. The one you couldn’t have. Well, not like you could have these men either since they were only made up, but that was besides the point. This was supposed to be a distraction, and it wasn’t working.

It was a good thing you had endless energy in your dreams, because Hobi was dragging you around town showing you all the lavish things there were in life. He really knew how to throw a party, too. When your alarm went off the next morning, you woke up extremely tired, and you had slept all night!

“Are you alright, Y/n?” Seokjin asked when he came to look for you in the middle of the work day to see if you had that paperwork ready for him. Luckily, you did. You just hope you didn’t make any mistakes.

“I’m okay, just tired. I was partying it up all night.” When your boss gave you a look of bafflement, you rushed to clarify. “Not actually! It was in my dreams…”

“I don’t understand, if it was only in your dreams, then why would it make you tired?” Seokjin asked like he wasn’t buying it, and what made it even worse, was the fact that he looked like he was internally judging you. Good going, Y/n.

“I’m being serious, Sir. It was in my dreams. Except, these dreams are more vivid.” You sighed. May as well tell him the truth, no matter how embarrassing it was. “My best friend won the ‘your dream boyfriend’ thing for me. Let’s just say, my date from last night’s dream was very energetic.”

“So, it was a sexual dream?” Seokjin asked, making you choke on your third cup of coffee.

“No. Not at all. None of the dreams are like that.” You defended. “I meant, energetic in other ways. Happy go lucky.”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t spend my nights in fantasies.” Your boss rolled his eyes.

You gaped at him. Was he insulting you? It hurt, because you wanted him to like you. You thought he did, but perhaps you’ve ruined it now? Great.

“She just thought it would help me to escape reality for a while. I never have any luck with real relationships, so I don’t see what the harm is.” You were frowning.

“Am I giving you too many hours that you feel like you need to escape reality? Y/n, I would never mean to give you more work than you could handle. If you need another day off during the week, I can give it to you. Just tell me.” Seokjin’s voice was soft now, all hardness gone from his eyes.

What if he was jealous of your dream dates, and that was why he reacted that way? No, that’s not it. You needed to get a grip. You would never have something with your boss.

“No, no, I don’t need another day off. You are really fair with everything, and I appreciate that you trust me so much being your assistant. It isn’t more than I can handle. I guess I just stress more about not doing the job good enough.” You said, handing him the papers you finished. “I hope I didn’t make any mistakes.”

“You do the job more than good enough. I couldn’t ask for a better assistant, I mean it. You keep my head on straight.” Seokjin chuckled, his words making your insides grow warm. “I’m sure the paperwork is fine. I trust you, tired or not.”

“That means a lot that you trust me so easily, thank you.” You gave him a shy smile.

Your boss gave you a nod, returning your smile. “And don’t call me Sir. That’s my father.”

“Yes, S- Mr. Kim.” You flushed, returning his nod.

How was he so intimidating? You were fine spending the day with him. You went skydiving together for goodness sakes. Skydiving! You still couldn’t believe it.

Your next dream date belonged to Taehyung, who was extremely sweet and had a kind smile. He took you out for a nice dinner, and some drinks. You took it easy on the drinks, even though you weren’t actually drinking in real life. You just didn’t want to chance it. You had a nice time with Tae, but you found yourself wondering what a romantic dinner with Kim Seokjin would be like? You couldn’t stop thinking about him, no matter how hard you tried.

The dream after that; it was Yoongi. He was the quietest of your dream dates, yet soft. He took you to adopt a cat from the animal shelter, and see, that right there should have had you sold. You loved a gentle man who loved animals just as much as you did. This wasn’t real though, and even if it were, you still would be wondering if Seokjin liked animals? Could you make an exception if he didn’t? There was only one way to find out.

“Do you like animals?” You asked your boss a week later. It was a Friday, and you had the weekend off.

He didn’t act confused by your random questions anymore. “Yes, I love animals. I don’t have any, due to my schedule. I feel it would be unfair to them. Maybe one day. Why do you ask?”

That made your face light up. Not only did he love animals, but he only wanted to get one when he would be able to give them his full, undivided attention. You felt like swooning, but he would notice, and that would put you in an embarrassing situation.

“I’m going to adopt another cat from the shelter tomorrow, and I want someone to come with me to help pick one out.” You said with hopeful eyes.

“Y/n, I have to-“ He cut himself off when he took in your expression. “I have a few things I need to get done, but I’ll do them early. Anytime after two pm, I can join you.”

“That’s perfect! Pick me up at two then.” You smiled happily as you left his office. Nothing could bring you down. Well, except for Amanda, your office neighbor.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” She all but glared at you as she entered your office.

You blinked, because what was that supposed to even mean. “I beg your pardon?”

“You, asking the CEO to join you on your childish excursions. HR would love to hear about you trying to seduce your boss.” She threatened.

“I- I’m not seducing him, Amanda. I’m allowed to be his friend-“

“Oh please, we both know you don’t want to be his friend. You’re just a whore trying to sleep your way to the top.” Her words were harsh, meant to dig, yet they only served to piss you off.

“That is not what I’m doing. I don’t care about what position I’m in. I do my job, and I do it good.” You bit out.

“You just need to learn your place. It’s foolish of you to think you even have a chance with the CEO. He is way too good for you.” She left with her final words ringing in your ear. It wasn’t like she told a lie. The man was too good for you. You were only his assistant, and that’s all you would ever be.

When Seokjin picked you up the next day, it was two pm on the dot, decked in jeans and a white t-shirt, looking as handsome as ever. Your boss was nothing if not punctual. It almost brought a smile to your lips, almost. You were still feeling down after Amanda’s words from yesterday.

He noticed your unusual silence when you arrived at the shelter. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy to be adopting a new cat?”

“Oh, I-“ You gulped, trying to snap out of this mood. “I am, of course.”

“Did you have a bad dream date last night?” He asked.

“No, I didn’t do that last night.” It was true, you hadn’t. You didn’t feel like it.

“Actually, I have a question…”

“Go for it.” Seokjin said, tone encouraging.

“My best friend… She’s seeing this guy, and she really likes him, but she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him. He’s really successful, and just… on another level, I guess. What kind of advice should I give her?” Of course, your best friend was actually happily married, and she definitely knew she was good enough for Adam.

“I’m not the best person to ask for dating advice, Y/n. I haven’t been in a relationship since my early twenties.” Seokjin responded apologetically.

“Okay, but, what do you think about that? Do you think even if she’s beneath him, they could still work?” You tried.

“I mean, If they care about eachother then I don’t see why it shouldn’t work. I don’t how he feels, but I know if it were me… I would just want someone kind, someone to make me happy, and I can make happy in return. Someone I can look forward to coming home to at the end of the day. Nothing else should matter.” He said truthfully.

“Thanks, Seokjin. I’ll have to tell her you said that. I’m sure that will be reassuring for her.” You smiled. You knew the situation you described was a little different. Seokjin was actually your boss, but it wasn’t like you could add that to your scenario. That would make it too obvious. You were glad to know that he didn’t care about rank, though. Exactly what he described; you wanted that too.

“No need to thank me, I hope it helps.”

“One more question.” You added.

He just smiled, giving you a look to go on.

You hesitated, and then just decided to go ahead and ask. “Um… Do you think my excursions are childish?”

He looked to be taken aback by your question. “What? Did someone tell you that?”

You shrugged.

“Who told you that? Did someone at work tell you that?” Now you were taken aback, because he looked angry. You could only imagine if you told him the rest of what Amanda said.

“It doesn’t matter.” He opened his mouth to argue that statement, but you continued speaking. “Please. I only asked because I wouldn’t want to drag you with me if-“

“Y/n. Who told you that?” He grit out through his teeth.

“Why do you need-“

“I don’t need someone working at my company who is harassing my assistant. Did this person say anything else?”

“Seokjin, honestly-“

“Y/n, I swear, what else did this person say?” His face was red now. You have never seen him like this, not once. “I don’t need someone’s words causing you problems, and that’s clearly not all they said to you. There’s more you’re not telling me.”

“Can we just enjoy the day, please, Seokjin?” You asked, placing a hand on his shoulder lightly.

“Fine, but I assure you, I will find out whether you tell me or not.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “And also, I don’t think your ‘excursions’ are childish. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with how you spend your time. It sounds to me like this person is just jealous of how hard working you, and that you’re able to enjoy life.”

You wondered if he was serious about whether he would find out or not, but you decided not to press. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have let it bother me.”

“I think whatever else they said is what bothered you the most.” He added with a frown, and you didn’t correct him, because he was right. You didn’t appreciate being called a whore and getting accused of sleeping your way to the top when you worked hard to be where you are. You always tried your best. You would never, ever, use your boss that way. You actually cared about him. He was a good man. This also wasn’t the first time you have had problems with Amanda. She constantly harassed you about your work. It was what caused most of your stress, but you decided to just deal with it.

“Let’s go find me a cat.” You put on a smile before getting out of the car before Seokjin could ask any further questions about the situation.

He let it go for now, and you were thankful for it.

The one that caught your eye the most was an older cat. Apparently, the owner had to move out across the country and decided to leave their cat behind. If it were you… There was no way you could leave your cats behind. People didn’t usually adopt the older felines either; always going for the kittens. Those were the ones that were almost always guaranteed a home. They were adorable, of course, but you could never stand the thought of any of the other cats who deserved a home just as much to be put down because nobody wanted them.

This cat, she was sweet. You could tell by the way she nudged her nose against your hand when you went to pet her.

“This is the one.” You smiled, looking over at Seokjin who was squatting next to you. She meowed and went to his side, and you watched as he smiled, leaning in to pet her himself. She started purring, rubbing her head all over his hand.

“Wow, she really likes you. I think even better than me.” You laughed as he scratched behind her ear.

“What can I say? I’m irresistible.” He gave you a sly wink, causing your brain to short circuit and your breath to stutter.

His words might have been meant as a joke, judging by the grin on his face, but what he didn’t know was the fact that yeah, he really was. You noticed at work, and even outside of work now, how much attention he got from women.

You tried your best to collect yourself, forming a smirk. “Oh yeah? Maybe you should adopt her, then.”

“Should I?” He suddenly asked. “Maybe you can stop by my house on days I have to work late to help me out, spend a little time with her.”

You were not expecting today to go this way, letting out a disbelieving laugh. “Are you trying to steal my cat, Mr. Kim?”

“Your cat? No one has adopted her yet.” He raised an eyebrow with a smirk, his fingers running over the cat’s fur. “And look, she loves me.”

Of course she does. Who wouldn’t? “Ugh, you win. I would be horrible to separate you two when she clearly likes you better, and wait… You would let me go to your home when you aren’t there?”

He shrugged. “Yes, why not? I mean, I can pay you. I wouldn’t expect you to do it for free.”

“That’s unnecessary and not what I meant. I would do it for free. I meant, you would trust me in your house?” You asked, surprised.

“Somehow, I don’t think you’re the type to steal all my belongings. Yes, I trust you.” He said firmly.

You flushed, which you were doing a lot of lately the closer you got to Seokjin. “Oh- I- okay. I can do that then. For free. Try to give me money and it will go straight back on your desk.”

He snorted, but gave you a nod. “Noted.”

When you and Seokjin walked up to the desk to let the worker know which one he was going to adopt, the man gave him a shocked look. “Are you sure that’s the one you want? We were actually going to put her down this evening. She’s getting old, and she’s been here a while.”

Your face dropped in sadness at his words. The poor thing would have been put down today… You wanted to cry.

Seokjin on the other hand, was giving the man a death stare that had him immediately backtracking. “What I meant was-“

“I don’t care what you meant.” He said lowly. “You made my friend upset, and that makes me upset. There was no need for you to say any of that. You could have just let me adopt the cat and let us be on our way. And also, the fact that you are trying to encourage me not to adopt a specific one so she could later be put to death tells me that you should not be working here at all if I’m being honest.”

The man opened and closed his mouth, completely chastised. You, quite frankly, were suddenly very turned on, and there was definitely a dampness to your panties that wasn’t there a moment ago. Shit. Who cared about your dream dates when Seokjin was the man of your dreams.

“I’ll be charging more for the attitude.” He finally stated.

Seokjin laughed. “That’s completely fine with me,” His eyes glanced down to his name tag. “Zack. As a matter of fact…” He trailed off, getting out his wallet to pull out a crisp set of one hundred dollars bills, handing them to the man. “That should cover it. Maybe it will teach you to let people adopt whatever animal they want without being so negative.”

The worker, Zack, counted the bills, his eyes practically bugging out of his head. “What the- who are you?”

“Kim Seokjin, CEO of Kim inc.” Your boss returned.

“Oh! My humble apologies, Sir. I- from now on… I won’t ever discourage anyone else like that. So sorry, Mr. Kim.” The man got out from behind the desk, bowing twice before unlocking the cage to hand the older cat to Seokjin with shaking hands.

You watched the exchange in awe.

“Good.” Seokjin said, holding the cat against his chest, his eyes still serious. “Have a good day, Zach.”

“You too, Mr. Kim. Once again, I apologize! Your welcome back anytime.” The worker said nervously before he looked to you. “Your boyfriend is scary.”

Boyfriend? “Oh- he-“

“Like I said, you are both welcome anytime! I’m sorry for upsetting you, miss.” It was clear he wanted you to leave to collect himself, so you nodded.

“Seokjin, you almost had the guy peeing his pants.” You shook your head with a small laugh once you made it to the car, the cat moving to lay on your lap as he drove.

“Well maybe he shouldn’t have said what he said. He made you upset. You looked like you were going to burst into tears. You don’t tell people not to adopt a cat, and then proceed to let you know that the animal should be put down instead of adopted. Who even says that?!” He asked, bewildered.

Damn. Seokjin was insanely hot when he was angry. Your underwear was uncomfortably sticking to you now. You wouldn’t wanna be the one to make him that mad.

“Thank you for today, Seokjin. Even though you are the one who ended up with a cat. I know it means a lot to this little lady that you adopted her.” You suddenly said, a soft smile placed on your lips as you rubbed her head gently. “Will you keep the name her owner gave her?”

“What do you think I should do?” He asked, like he sincerely wanted your input.

“Hmm, as much as the owners suck for abandoning her, she is probably so used to the name fluffy. Hey, what about fluffs? I’m sure she’ll get used to the small change.” You beamed.

Seokjin was giving you a strange look that you couldn’t identify as he pulled up in front of your home. It was almost… fond? Or maybe you were just reading into it. Then he was smiling as he reached for the cat in your lap. “Say goodbye to Y/n, fluffs. You’ll see her soon.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It made you want one.

“Goodbye, fluffs. I’ll see you soon pretty girl.” You stroked behind her ear before looking up at Seokjin. “I’ll see you Monday, Seokjin?”

He nodded, still giving you that strange look. “See you Monday, Y/n.”

Later on that evening when you were hanging out with your best friend, you got a text. You felt your heart racing when you saw it was Seokjin’s name pop up. He sent a selfie of him and his new kitty, and he was smiling with his head resting on her fur. Your heart stuttered.

‘I stopped and got her some food, and a whole bunch of cat toys. She likes the tuna stuffed toy the best.’ - Seokjin

You smiled down at your phone, looking at the picture again.

“What are you smiling at?” Hannah asked.

You looked up, innocent. “Hm? Oh, nothing.”

“Don’t ‘Hm, nothing’ me, Y/n! Who has you smiling like that?” She asked again, making grabby hands for your phone, but you held it against your chest tightly.

“No one, Han!” Usually, you wouldn’t mind telling her, but since it was Seokjin, you knew she would just look at you disapprovingly.

“Liar.” She finally got your phone out of your hands. “Oh my, who is that? He’s handsome. If I weren’t married-“

“Hey, shut up.” Hannah had never seen what your boss looked like.

“Ah ha! You know damn well I’m not serious. You’re claiming him anyway.” She laughed. “Let’s see, Seokjin? Seokjin… Wait, isn’t that your boss’s name?” You saw the moment it clicked in her head. “Holy shit, Y/n! You’re texting your boss?!”

“Hannah, it’s-“

“Y/n, I told you not to fall in love with your boss.” She said sadly.

“I’m not… in love with him. I- He’s a good guy, Han. He’s not what you think he is. He’s thoughtful, he’s kind, he’s funny. I like spending time with him.” You defended, a dreamy smile on your face. “He came with me today to adopt a cat, and he ended up adopting one himself. That’s why he sent me that picture. He got mad at the worker there for making me upset. You should have seen it.”

“Oh my god, you are totally falling in love with him, Y/n. It’s obvious.” She said in a serious tone.

“It- is it?” You asked, and now you were questioning yourself.

She nodded, only concerned for you.

“What do I do?”

“Nothing obviously. It’s not a good idea.”

Her words sat with you all night, and you were so upset that you ended up putting on the headset to have a dream date to hopefully cheer you up.

His name was Jimin, and he looked like an angel. He acted like one as well. He was kind and gentle. The two of you spent your date going to the snow. Apparently, you knew how to Ski in your dreams. You had no idea how to do it in real life. When he built a snowman with you; he poked your red nose from the cold.

You woke up the next morning feeling empty. It was summertime right now, but you still wondered what it would be like to go to the snow with Seokjin in the future, and for it to be an actual date. You longed for it. Hannah was right, you were falling for your boss, and you didn’t know what to do with that information, but you couldn’t do these dream dates anymore. You knew that.

A month had passed since that day you spent with Seokjin at the animal shelter. You had went to his house a few times to spend time with fluffs on the days he had to stay at work late. His home… More like mansion, was beautiful. When you first got a look at all of his gaming devices, it made you smile. He was not lying when he said he preferred to game.

You hadn’t spent time with him outside of work recently, and you missed it. You didn’t know how to bring it up. Now that you knew your feelings, you were terrified. It turned out, you wouldn’t have to be the one to say anything.

On a warm Saturday, you and Hannah were at the grocery picking out some snacks to head to the beach with. What you weren’t expecting, was to run into Seokjin there. He wasn’t working?

He looked surprised to see you as well. “Y/n… Hi.”

“Hey, Seokjin… I wasn’t expecting you here. I figured you’d be working.” You said teasingly.

He chuckled in response. “Well, It’s my mother’s birthday, actually. I’m surprising her with her favorite meal.”

Great. As if you needed another reason to fall for him. “Oh, that’s thoughtful of you. Tell her I said happy birthday.”

“Will do.” He smiled.

“Oh! This is my best friend, Hannah. Han, this is Seokjin.” You gave her a look that said ‘be nice’.

“Hello.” Seokjin gave a respectful bow, but Hannah just laughed it off and held a hand out for him to shake.

“Hi, Seokjin. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

You flushed. Why would she say that?

“Oh. All good things, I hope.” As he shook her hand, his eyes were glued on the ring doning her left finger. At first, you thought maybe he was disappointed, but he didn’t look to be at all. He looked more like he was thinking intently on something, like his brain was working overtime, and then you remembered what you told him a month ago.

‘My best friend has been talking to this guy, but she thinks he’s too good for her.’

Oh no. That meant he realized that your story was completely made up because your best friend was happily married. What had you gotten yourself into?! What would he think?

“I see it worked out well with the man you were talking to. You got married fast. Congratulations must be in order.” He suddenly grinned.

“Huh? I’ve been married for a few ye-ars.” Your best friend slowed down her sentence at the look you gave her, as if she realized her mistake too late, but then she returned your look with a completely lost one.

You deflated. This was so embarrassing.

“I see.” Was all Seokjin said, and then he was turning to look at you.

You winced. “I-“

“I’m gonna… go look for something.” Hannah pointed in the general direction of the store before taking off, leaving you alone with Seokjin.

“The person you were talking about was yourself, not your best friend.” He came to a conclusion. A correct one. “And, the guy. Is it me?”

“Yes, I- It was. I just…” You trailed off, not sure what to say. Everything was surely ruined now, including your friendship.

He stared at you for a few moments before he seemed to come to some kind of decision.

“Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

You looked up at him in shock. What???

“D-dinner… Like-“

“A date.” He clarified, and then he was smiling. “I’ll try to make it better than your dream ones.”

“You already do that. Those times we hung out… Way better than my dream dates...” You admitted shyly.

“Oh? Good to know.” He took a step closer to you now, most likely able to hear the way your heart was beating out of your chest. “Is that a yes then?”

“Yes… I would love to have dinner with you.” You agreed, a little embarrassed that your voice came out breathless.

“And how would you like that? Do you want me to take you out, or do you want to come over and I can cook for you?” He asked, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

He had you so nervous, but in a good way. “Whatever you would like, I’m okay either way.”

He shook his head. “No, sweetheart. What do you want?”

Your stomach clenched at his term of endearment, your insides fluttering. “I… I would like to try your cooking.”

“Then, my house tomorrow evening. Seven okay for you?” He checked.

“Seven is perfect.” You smiled.

“Good.” He returned your smile.” Well, I better go. My parents will be over soon, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/n.” He leaned in then, pressing a featherlight kiss to your cheek. It set your skin on fire.

You swallowed. “See you tomorrow, Seokjin.”

He gave you one last smile before he checked out with his groceries, and you completely forgot what you came here for until Hannah was back by your side. That’s right, snacks. “So… I was eavesdropping and heard everything.”

“Let me guess, you still don’t approve?” You sighed.

“Actually, I’m being swayed now. The chemistry? Out of this world! I was sweating just watching you two talk.” She fanned herself.

“I don’t know, Han… He may have just asked me to dinner because he felt bad about my embarrassing crush being revealed.” You didn’t want to get your hopes up. This entire situation just seemed way too good to be true.

What your best friend did next was unexpected. She smacked your cheek. It wasn’t hard at all, but still. “Hey! What was that for?!”

“It was for being a dummy. You are way overthinking this.” She gave you a knowing look. “This is coming from me, by the way… The one who didn’t trust men like him at first.”

“Okay, but-“

“There’s no buts. Seriously, stop overthinking it. That man is totally, one hundred percent into you. I can tell. I’ll even go as far as to say that he seems like someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, for once. He went skydiving with you, for goodness sakes, just because you asked. Literally, who does that? He’s probably been into you for a while, but didn’t want to take advantage since he’s your boss. Now that he knows for sure that you’re into him too, he decided to go for it.” Your best friend finished her rant. A lot of what she said did make sense, you had to admit that.

“You really think he’s into me?” You asked, and now you were feeling hopeful.

“I don’t think, I know. Trust me on this.” She insisted. “I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive at first.”

“It’s okay. You’re supportive now when it counts.” You smiled. “That’s all that matters.”

Hannah gave you a big hug accompanied with a grin. “So, what are you going to wear?”

“I’m- I don’t know. What should I wear?” You asked.

She rubbed a finger against her chin in thought. “Well, since you aren’t actually going out to eat somewhere, you don’t have to dress real fancy, but you still want to look hot. How about that one red dress?”

“You don’t think that will be too much?”

“Oh no, definitely not. You’ll definitely get laid if you wear that dress.” Her smile morphed into a smirk.

Your face flushed at the thought. “Who says I’m trying to get laid?”

“I mean, it’s about time, girl!” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Ugh, you’re the worst.” You turned around, taking off to pay for the snacks, the sound of her laughter following behind you.

You did wear the red dress, but now, standing in front of Seokjin’s door, you felt incredibly nervous. Not necessarily because of the dress, even though you still wondered if it was too much. You were nervous in general. All of those other times you hung out with him outside of work, you were only friends. This was a date. Not just any date… A date with your boss.

You swallowed your nerves, raising your hand to knock at the door. You had a key to his house, but it was only for you to go over when he worked late nights to take care of fluffs. This was different. This was the first time you would be in his home with him there as well.

Seokjin didn’t leave you waiting for long, opening the door for you to reveal him wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a tight black t-shirt. He looked really good, but then, he always looked good no matter what he wore.

Instead of moving aside to let you in, he was staring at you, his eyes roving over your form from head to toe. He seemed to be having trouble finding words, and it made you blush.

“Hi.” You decided to speak first, and that must have cleared whatever trance he was in because he finally moved aside to let you in, his own ears going red as he tripped over his own feet. This behavior was new.

“Hey- Hi. Sorry, I’m um, a little nervous.” He admitted, shutting the door behind you once you were inside.

That had you stunned, but somehow, it made you feel more at ease knowing you weren’t the only one. “You’re nervous?”

“Yes.” He responded. “You look really pretty, by the way. I like the dress.”

“Thank you. I was worried it might be too much.” You blushed with a smile. Your best friend hit the mark with that one.

“No, it’s… perfect.” That made you blush harder.

“You look very handsome.” You returned, feeling better about turning the attention onto him.

“Thank you.” A smile fell upon his plump lips. You wondered what it would feel like to kiss them.

You were about to respond when you seen Fluffs bounding down the stairs, running up to you to rub her face against your legs in greeting.

You chuckled, leaning down to give her a few pets. “Hi, pretty girl. I missed you.”

“You’re welcome over anytime to see her.” Seokjin smiled, watching the encounter.

“And what about you?” You cannot believe those words just came out over your mouth. Oh well, too late to take them back.

“That too. Especially that.” He grinned, guiding you to the kitchen with a fluffy kitty following behind.

“I made Mulhoe, but I wasn’t sure if you like seafood, or if you’re allergic or anything... I should have asked. So, I made some meat too, just in case.” His words came out unsure, like he didn’t want to mess things up. It made your heart swell.

“Both sound really good, Seokjin. I enjoy seafood, but I’ll have some of both so nothing goes to waste. I appreciate you cooking, thank you.” You gave him a shy smile, sitting down at the table while he brought the food over for the both of you to eat.

Everything was delicious, and he turned red when you told him as much, complimenting his cooking skills tremendously. You made sure he knew you weren’t exaggerating either, and when you told him that you also enjoyed cooking, he beamed, saying that maybe sometime the two of you could cook something together. All you could think was; that meant he wanted another date with you.

After dinner, you tried to help him clean up, but he wouldn’t let you, insisting for you to sit down and relax, so you finally relented, sitting down on the couch. You weren’t sure what came next. You had dinner together, that was the plan, but you hadn’t planned anything further. You spent a good hour learning more about eachother. It was funny, because you’ve known him for a while now, having worked for him, but there was still so much more to learn. You were happy to find out new things about him that you didn’t know before.

It didn’t take him too long to clean up, and soon he was taking a seat next to you on the spacious couch. Right next to you, his thigh resting right up against yours. The nerves were back.

“I had a good time, Y/n. Thank you for joining me for dinner.” He looked over to you with a relaxed smile.

“Me too, Seokjin. Thank you again. I um- should I be leaving now?” You asked.

His eyes widened in response to your question. “Do you want to leave?”

“No, of course not. I just wasn’t sure…” You trailed off.

“Come here.” He gave his lap a pat.

You obliged, even through your blush, lightly swinging your leg over his lap to straddle him, settling your hands on his wide shoulders.

“Can I kiss you, sweetheart?” He asked, his hand coming up to cradle the side of your head.

“Yes.” You nodded, heart racing as his palm moved to the back of your head to pull you in, his lips slotting against yours perfectly, starting the kiss off slow, almost gentle like. It had sparks shooting up your spine, the way he felt.

You spent a while like that, enjoying the feeling of his plush lips moving against yours before his tongue traced the seam of your lips, not forceful; a question. You answered by parting your lips, granting him entrance as one of your hands moved down to squeeze his bicep, your other one moving around to rest at the nape of his neck.

The way he moaned softly when your tongue met his had a fresh wave of wetness leaking onto your panties, which were flush with his jeans right now since you were wearing a dress.

You pressed yourself fully against his chest when his hands traveled down to settle on your hips, his fingers gripping the material of your dress as you explored eachothers mouths, his tongue stroking against yours like he knew exactly how to get you to melt for him, and this time; it was you who let out a little moan.

A shift to the left had you feeling a bulge underneath, pressing against your core through the material of his jeans and your underwear. The thought that you had him hard for you already was a heady one, and you found yourself grounding your hips down against him.

“Fuck…” Seokjin let out a hiss against your lips, breaking the kiss to look at you, plump lips red and swollen. He looked like a dream. You began rocking your hips against him as you buried your face in his neck, trailing wet kisses along his clavicle.

“Ah, Y/n, wait.” He dragged your face away from his neck reluctantly. Almost like he really, really, didn’t want to, and then his eyes were meeting yours. “We don’t have to do anything. I want you, I do, but I don’t want you to think I invited you over here just for sex.”

“Well I’m glad, because I really want you too, Seokjin. I’ve wanted you for a long time now. Very badly, so please…Don’t make me wait.” Your begging did something to him, because he was dragging your core deliberately over his cock, thrusting his hips up to really let you feel him. It made you gasp. He felt big, even through the denim.

“How can I refuse when you ask so sweetly?” His fingers were sliding underneath your dress, and you let out a wanton moan as he cupped your pussy over your drenched panties. “Shit, you do want me bad, you’re soaked, baby.”

“Ah, Seokjin…” Your boss calling you baby made you feel desperate, your hips rocking against his hand. You felt like it wouldn’t take much for you to cum, not when it was him who was touching you.

“I hope you know how insane you drive me; how many times I made myself cum to the thought of you. I tried to fight it, because it would be very unprofessional of me to go after you, but now that I know you feel it too, I don’t care anymore. I’m done hiding how much I want you.” He moved your panties out of the way before he was pressing his middle finger inside of you to the hilt, and you moaned out his name when he crooked it inside of you.

“So many times, I’ve wondered what you would look like as you cum. I bet you look so pretty. I want you to show me.” When you looked into his eyes, you noticed how lust blown they were, and it made you shudder, rocking your hips against his fingers when he added another one inside of you, the rough denim of his jeans stimulating your clit on every thrust down. His words were turning you on beyond belief. He thought about you just like you’ve thought about him?

“That’s it sweetheart, ride my fingers. Fuck, you look so gorgeous coming undone for me like this.” You threw your head back in pleasure when his fingers started battering your g-spot, almost blacking out when his thumb moved up to stroke your clit.

“Seokjin, I’m- I’m close.” You panted out, and you barely even had to move with the way he was roughly fucking his fingers in and out of you, wet squelching noses filling the air.

“You feel so tight around my fingers. Bet you’d feel like heaven around my cock.” He growled out, and that was when you lost it, your thighs shaking as you squirted around his fingers, core clenching and unclenching as your orgasm rushed through you, his name falling from your lips.

Seokjin watched in awe as you convulsed in his lap, his cock throbbing hard in the confines of his jeans, borderline uncomfortable and on the verge of blowing a load in his underwear. He had to slowly breath and count to ten to calm himself. “Holy shit, Y/n.”

You felt mildly embarrassed as your release soaked his hand and jeans, but you were more in shock because no man had ever made you squirt before, and when you told Seokjin as much, a possessive glint sparkled in his eyes.

“This was better than anything I could have pictured in my wildest dreams.” He breathed out, staring down at his hand wet with your juices with a deep rooted need, and next thing you knew he was slowly sucking his fingers into his own mouth, a groan leaving his lips as his eyes closed. “Taste better than I imagined, so fucking sweet.”

Your face was scarlet red as you watched him lick your slick release off of his hand like a man starved, and your poor cunt clenched with need again.

“Seokjin…” You gave a whine, moving your hand between your bodies to cup him through his jeans.

He let out a feral growl at your touch, and then he was standing up with you in his arms. “I’m taking you to bed, and then I’m going to feed you my cock and fuck you so hard until the only thing you know is my name.”

You let out a stunned breath as he lifted you off the couch, your legs wrapping around his hips and your arms settling around his neck as he carried you up to the stairs into his bedroom. “Yes, I want that. Please, Seokjin…”

Even though you had been to Seokjin’s house before, you had never been in his bedroom. You didn’t have time to admire it so much either because he had you laid out for him on his massive bed. It was probably the most comfortable bed you had ever felt. That, you were able to admire. Where did he get this thing?!

You were about to ask him as much, but your words died in your throat as he yanked his t-shirt over his head, revealing his golden chest, abs that led down into a glorious tiny waist. Everything about this man was gorgeous. You bet anything that the same would go for his cock.

Once he had you completely bare before him, his lustful eyes trailed down the length of your body before dragging back up to your face. “God, you’re so beautiful, Y/n.” He whispered hoarsely before leaning down to attack a nipple, his hand coming up to squeeze your other breast, giving it just as much attention as he was the one in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the hard nub.

“Please, Jin, I want you.” You breathed out, not sure how he would feel about you shortening his name, as it just spilled out of you, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.

He moved to straddle your hips before unzipping his jeans, popping the button open before shoving them down with his boxers in one go, his hard cock springing free to slap against his stomach. Saliva formed in your mouth just looking at it.

He was big, just like you had assumed from feeling his bulge underneath you earlier. The long length of him was also girthy with a prominent vein bulging out from the underside. The head was angry with the need to cum. He was so hard that it must have been uncomfortable for him having it stuffed in his jeans for so long.

“Of course everything about you has to be hot.” You said as if it were unfair, sitting up to wrap your small hand around his cock, dipping into the slit at the velvety head that was steadily leaking pre-cum before smoothing it down the length of him.

A laugh escaped him that morphed into a groan as you touched him, but way too soon; he was pulling your hand away from him. You pouted.

“I won’t last if you keep touching me. I need to be inside of you.” He explained, moving you to lay back down before settling between your legs. When he went to reach into his nightstand drawer, you reached for his hand.

“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. I want to feel you bare, Seokjin, please.” At first, you thought he might deny you with the look of surprise on his face, but then he was leaning over you again with a needy sound, sliding his bare cock through your wet folds, and you let out a moan as he rubbed it against your clit a few times, his eyes drawn to the sight.

“Ah- Jin, don’t tease me. Want your cock, ple-“ Your words cut off in a gasp as his cockhead breached your entrance, slipping right in due to how wet you were, but you could definitely still feel the pain from your walls stretching around the thickness of him. When he pushed in an inch further, your cunt contracted around him, sharp pain lacing through you as it tried pushing him out.

“Fuck, you’re too tight, sweetheart. Are you sure you can take me? We can-“

“No, no, please… I can take you. Don’t stop, please. I want to take you.” Your voice was needy as you gripped his shoulders, trying to relax your muscles.

“Such a good girl, so needy to take my cock.” Seokjin praised, moving a hand between you to rub at your clit to help you relax as he fed you more of his cock. “Shit- so tight… I’m halfway there.”

“Only half?! Is your dick endless?” Your words made him chuckle, the sensation of being split open on his cock making you feel impossibly full, and he wasn’t even all the way in yet.

“Almost there. You’re doing so well, sweetheart. Look so pretty taking my cock.” He pressed inside the last few inches, the head of his dick pressing right up against your cervix.

You could tell he was trying so hard not to move, biting his lip before burying his face in your chest, his breathing harsh. “Fuck, Y/n… You feel way too good.”

“You too, Jin- Ah… Never been so full. Please move…” You tangled your fingers in his hair, his low growl causing sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine when you gave it a sharp tug.

Once he pulled out to the tip, only to slam back, spearing you open on his cock; he didn’t let up, setting a harsh pace, fucking into you with hard jabs that stole the breath from you. All you could do was lay there and take it as he battered your g-spot. You weren’t going to last long, especially when his thumb came between your bodies to stroke your engorged clit.

“Best cunt ever, shit - look at how good it squeezes my cock. It’s mine now. You’re mine.” He growled possessively as he shoved his cock inside you mercilessly. “Fuck- I’m close.”

“Me too… Cum inside of me, Jin, please, please.” You begged, unable to do anything other than scream his name as your orgasm hit you, the walls of your cunt contracting around him.

“Oh- Oh fuck-“ Seokjin let out a keening sound of your name as his cock throbbed, shoving himself deep inside of you as he came in hard spurts, painting your insides with his release.

His lips crashed against yours as you came down from your orgasm, and you sighed happily into it, drawing him in close, every inch of your bodies touching until he eventually softened inside of you, the kiss slowing into a languid exploration of eachothers mouths.

While the way he fucked you was hard; the way he cleaned you up was so gentle you felt like you could cry. You weren’t sure what happens now. Would he want you to leave? You didn’t want to go, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome.

Turns out, you didn’t have to think much longer because Seokjin was dragging you into his arms, nuzzling his nose in the back of your neck, pressing a kiss to the skin, making you shiver. “Stay.”

The way your heart clenched told you that you were one hundred percent falling in love.

“Okay, but you will have to let me up to go pee.” You were so, so happy.

“Mm, no.” He only nuzzled closer, arms tightening around you.

“Seokjin!” You laughed, but you made no move to break free from his hold.

“Fine. Hurry back.” He let you go, and you did hurry, because you wanted to be back in his embrace as soon as possible.

This time when you got into bed, you were facing him, nuzzling your nose into his chest. You noticed he had taken his boxers back off. It felt nice just feeling his body against yours, skin to skin.

“Jin?” You murmured his name in question in the dark, the only sound being his heartbeat against your ear.

“Hm?” His voice was sleepy, muffled into your hair.

You were scared to ask, yet you did anyway. “What- what does this mean for us?”

You could feel his arms tighten around you marginally, as if he was afraid to let you go. “If I’m being completely honest, I want you to be mine, but I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for. I don’t - I want- No… I need you to know that if we were to do this… I may be your boss, but in this relationship; if that’s what you want with me… We’re equals. You getting as far as you did only had to do with how incredibly smart you are, your work, and your ambition. Not because of my feelings for you. You know that, and I know that.”

“Other people won’t know. They will talk, and they will judge. You already fired Amanda because-“

“She called you degradable names, and harassed you for months. I do not tolerate that behavior, and that goes for anyone who works for my company.” He pointed out.

“I know, Jin. Of course I know that. I’m just saying how it will look.” You whispered.

He tilted your chin up gently so he could look you in the eyes, nothing but love shining in those brown eyes. You felt like you could lose yourself in the the depth of them. “That’s why I’m saying I don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t ready for. I would never want to subject you to whispers behind your back. If this is something you don’t want, I’ll understand completely, and I’ll let you go. Your job will be safe, no matter what.”

The thought of not being with him was more unbearable than having people talk behind your back. You could handle it, you were strong, and you knew the reason you had this job was because you were good at it. Seokjin though… Now that he was here telling you that he was yours if you wanted him; you wouldn’t give that up. If people didn’t understand, that was on them. You knew what you and him meant to eachother. Your decision was made. “I don’t want you to let me go. Promise me that you won’t. I want to be with you.”

“I promise.” He said right away, pressing his forehead to yours. “I’ll talk to HR, and let them know we’re together. They’ll want to talk to you too, are you okay with that?”

You nodded. “Yes, it’s best we don’t hide it from them.”

“So, you’re sure… You want to do this with me?” He checked in on you.

“I’m absolutely one hundred percent sure. I want to do this with you.” A smile fell upon your lips then. “How could I give this up when you are everything that I want?”

He kissed you then, and you could practically feel him smiling against your lips. “I was hoping you would say that. There’s nothing I want more, than to be with you.”

You spent the rest of the night kissing him until you could no longer stay awake, and the next morning, he cooked you breakfast before you had to head home to feed your cats breakfast. Seokjin had told you later that evening while you were taking a walk along the beach together, that eventually, he wanted to get a dog as well. You would remember that.

Two years later…

At first, dating your boss hadn’t been easy, but you never expected it to be. Love was never always meant to be easy, but it was worth it. There were people who talked behind your back quite a bit, but you expected that. You knew that would happen. It was inevitable, but what did surprise you, was how many coworkers that you were close with supported you and Seokjin as well. You had expected them to stop talking to you, but instead, they had told you that you didn’t choose who you fell in love with, it just happens, and that they were happy for you both. They could see with their own eyes what you meant to eachother. Their words were true. Falling in love with Seokjin was also something that was inevitable. It was a part of who you were, and every day, you fell even more in love with him.

One of the amazing things about working with the man that you were hopelessly in love with was the fact that you got to see him all of the time because you lived with him now as well. Also something you learned about Seokjin, was he was incredibly clingy. You didn’t mind it one bit. In fact, you encouraged it, loving his attention. That’s just how it was when you loved someone. When you took your days off, you took them together, and he finally made use of his vacation days he had built up to travel with you to different countries. You always laughed fondly whenever he brought all of his gaming systems with him wherever you went. It wouldn’t be him if he hadn’t.

Today, it was the middle of the work day, and your attention caught on the silver engagement ring glinting on your left ring finger when the sun hit it through the open window. You admired it for a good minute, just like you did every day ever since Seokjin proposed to you five months ago.

Speaking of your fiancé, he was walking into your office right now with a large takeout bag. You raised your eyebrows. Another thing about Jin; he loved food. He really loved cooking at home with you too. You enjoyed the domesticity of it as well, the way you moved around each other in the kitchen so easily.

“Baby, guess what!” He didn’t give you time to guess before he continued speaking, and a smirk rose to your face as you listened to him. “That new seafood restaurant right next to work finally opened up today! I can’t believe we didn’t notice it this morning on the way to work. The only reason I noticed now was because I was leaving the office to go grab us some lunch and I noticed it was packed!”

“Let me guess, you couldn’t decide what to order, so you picked everything on the menu.” Your smirk widened into a grin. Your fiancé was adorable when he got this way.

“Ah Ha! That’s an exaggeration, but I may have went a little overboard.” His ears turned red.

“A little?” A laugh escaped you as you eyed the many take out bags. “I think you just became the restaurant owner’s favorite customer already.”

“I don’t know about all that.” He waved it off with a blush. Modest. Your laugh morphed into a giggle. “Besides, you know how much the office enjoys free food. Minho from across the way was practically drooling onto his desk.”

“Oh, I bet.” You peaked into the bag. Of course he got your favorite, butter garlic shrimp, and he got some lobster for the both of you to share. There would be plenty of leftovers for the rest of the office, that was for sure. “My fiancé is so thoughtful. Thank you, Jinnie. I’m treating you to your favorite ice cream place on the way home. Oh, and also, I have a surprise for you!”

“Surprise?” His face lit up, pulling up a chair to sit next to you as you both ate.

“Mhm.” Was all you responded with.

“I’m curious.” He tilted his head in thought.

“You’ll just have to wait and see, handsome. I can’t say too much, hence it being a surprise.” You grinned.

Suffice to say, Seokjin really loved his surprise. It was a puppy. A boy. A cute little golden retriever. Hannah had told you that her coworker’s dog was having babies and was looking for a home for some of them. You jumped at that opportunity, remember the words your fiancé had told you a couple years ago about wanting a dog one day.

You both came to the conclusion of naming him RJ, and he got on well with your three cats. As a matter of fact, they were all cuddling together on the floor while you and Seokjin watched a movie on the couch. That night, you talked about having a family together someday. You wanted it just as much as your fiancé did. Crazy how your dream dates led you to the actual man of your dreams. Kim Seokjin was the love of your life, and you couldn’t wait to marry him.

It seemed like he was thinking the exact same thing right now, because the next thing he said was, “I can’t wait to marry you, Y/n. In less than a month, you’ll be my wife… Mrs. Kim.”

“And I can’t wait to be your wife. I couldn’t be happier.” You cupped his cheek, resting you forehead against his. He kept his promise to you, his promise of not letting you go, and he solidified that promise the day he proposed to you, and it would be completely fulfilled the day you married him. He was yours, and you were his, and it would be that way, always, forever.

“I love you.” He whispered the words he told you every day, and you never tired of hearing them. You wanted to hear those words for the rest of your life.

“And I love you.” You kissed him then, settling yourself in his lap on the couch, movie completely forgotten in the background.

You would be content, to spend every day like this with him. There was nothing you wanted more.

The end.