In the Depths of Canada, Perusing The Internet

Beware: history may be found within (Among other items of a more or less interesting nature)

[therealrashid]

i know this was like a month ago but jacob on the shift saying what makes connor so perfect for the role is that he was so good at playing “what i wanted out of ilya, which was a slyness. that ilya’s always trying not to laugh, especially at shane. that he doesn’t want shane to realise how much he likes him, and how charmed, how endlessly charmed he is by making shane uncomfortable. it actually lights him up inside, he really loves it.”

literally the mandate of heaven that jacob tierney has 😭😭😭 it lights him up inside i-

[therealrashid]

something something ilya likes to cause a hurt then soothe it.

these images are the same to me. he likes to push too hard to bruise to needle to sink his teeth in to know he’s making an impact. and then follow it up with a good fucking or to say in so many words i love you. to know he is loved enough for his impact to be felt. it lights him up inside. and god you just KNOW shane bruises up so pretty, and he looks so pretty when he cries 😮‍💨

[therealrashid]

and by popular demand. of course shane has built up so many layers of protection in his unimpeachable skill his work ethic his diet his routine he is going through the motions like a little roomba living in a state of desperately hoping no one looks at him long enough to see anything real. he’s constantly at a remove from the world his walls are up so high. and here comes ilya who does look too long who wants to touch and push and prod and provoke, who gets a reaction out of shane every time. those carefully built up walls and he crashes through them so easily. for shane i think it has to hurt a bit to feel real 😵‍💫

[nalyra-dreaming]

Didn't think anything could top the photos, but here we are.

GQ BTS!

[vampirejuno]

Can you imagine being stuck in space completely alone with only the corpses of your friends for company, and the first living thing you meet after 46 years of that misery is a fucking weird alien creature who just rolls up with crazy advanced tech and goes "hi let's work together" and makes it possible for you to save your world through the power of friendship and molecular biology. AND THEN you find out that in this creature's language, its name means "mercy". Happened to my good friend Rocky btw

[ilyapasta]

Shane “do it scared, but do it” Hollander. We forget to put respect on his name. Shane applying an achievement mentally to everything he does. Shane saying, fine, I’ll fucking do it:

Go to Tampa, get his man ✅

Show his man that he cares ✅

Get man to his luxury wilderness getaway, ply him with burgers and beer and kicking around a soccer ball and video games and honestly and tenderness and solitude ✅

Make plan to keep man forever, AND preserve their fucking lives and careers ✅

Look at parents and says “no actually he fucks me good and I love him, no more lies, and also we’re all gonna be a family now I’m done with compartmentalizing” ✅

Win another fucking Stanley cup using latent adrenaline and serotonin from landing hottest baddie in the NHL ✅

Propose marriage like a boss: candles, ring, forgot second ring but who cares, carpet frottage, sincerity ✅

“I choose him. Come on, Ilya.” ✅✅✅✅✅✅

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[gallusrostromegalus]

seconding these tags by @ragsy: #if the social consciousness has decided that duckduckgo is the Only Othet Search Engine#might i suggest 'go duck yourself'

[sugarkaanes]

IM GONNA THROW UP THE WAY SHANE TURNS HIS HEAD IN LOVE WHEN THEY NOSE BOOP UGH. UGHHH

[gaynehollander]

I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.

[gaynehollander]

Meanwhile, Shane Oral Fixation Hollander always has some part of Ilya in his mouth. So they're cuddled up, Ilya's right hand on Shane's ass, the left one in his mouth and it's become so normal that neither one of them gives it a second thought. There's definitely a time or two where they accidentally do it around other people, like they're watching a scary movie with the Pikes and don't realise that Shane's had two of Ilya's fingers in his mouth for the past ten minutes until Hyden catches it out of the corner of his eye and goes "dude, what the fuck??" or they're heading back with the Cens after a series of away games and they're cuddled up on the plane, both half asleep, when Ilya's hand just makes its way down Shane's pants to rest in the crease of his groin and when Troy says "Roz, you'll be home in like two hours, can't that wait?" neither one of them realises what he's even referring to.

[fuckrozanov]

can i hijack this post with a snippet from something ill likely never finish

[bisexualrozanov]

#the way he never stops serving face even when he's worried sick

[hockeyfinches]

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies

[hockeyfinches]

top ten shane hollander shower fantasies:

• holding ilya’s hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)

• rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)

• rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)

• fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilya’s hand in marriage

• massaging ilya’s bad knee and ilya says with wonderment “wowww wow. shane you’re so good at this… you are better than every physical therapist on earth probably”

• saying “he asked for no pickles” to the mcdonalds cashier

• carrying ilya’s bags

• washing ilya’s hair

• applying o’keefes working hands cream to ilya’s calluses

• fuck or die

[hockeyfinches]

[darlingofdots]

[hockey bro voice] does he. you know. play for ottawa?

[dr-gaytorius]

1st base: raw ethically dubious fucking

2nd base: exist in a public space together

3rd base: you witness me have a real, candid emotion

4th base: I reveal an aspect of my tragic backstory to you

[myshanela]

image credits: @moonlightsonatah

[handsywoman]

Shane's pathetic failure of an attempt to be subtle while ogling Ilya is so dear to me

[fuckrozanov]

thinking about shane and ilya at some nhl alumni event years in the future….their relationship is old news and literally no one bats an eyelash at them anymore plus they’re staying in some penthouse suite where nobody can hear them but anyway ilya is fucking shane through the mattress and covers his mouth with one hand like “shush hollander you’re going to get us caught” and shane comes so hard he blacks out

[capybaralovers]

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: This is the first time I've seen the Yellow River's sediment discharge with my own eyes.

[jingyuanyuan]

There's a Chinese meme that the Yellow River doesn't need rituals to present sacrifices because if it's hungry it'll come onto the shore and eat the sacrifices itself.

[asmuchasidliketo]

#some netizens also say chinese people like unification because only a powerful unified dynasty can survive the yellow river and sometimes #also the chang jiang when they decide to flood and change directions and kill and displace millions #also only large dynasties have the resources to do hydroengineering to try and control the yellow river #yellow river be like: if you don't hydroengineer you die #but if you do you might also die heehee #“we call these our mother rivers not because they are gentle but because we are too scared” tags on above post

(source: Wikipedia)

[setnet]

@mikkeneko

[alterac]

what in the

oh my god??

[cryoverkiltmilk]

People talk about how the Great Lakes are deadly because they are uncaring, but the Yellow River is literally out to get everyone.

[swagsmeister]

hollanov breakfast making in fugly pride merch to kick off pride month

[ilyapasta]

Assorted free-range headcanons about Hollanov at 45-55 years old:

Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.

One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.

Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.

Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.

Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.

Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition

New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking

Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.

Add your ownnnnn