Becca’s Space

[beccathebecca26-blog]

I wish I could say my depression is getting better but at this point I think of ending it all almost every day... I’m just so exhausted.

[doctorcel]

Why does nobody talk about this

[kittenwitchandthebadvibes]

[beccathebecca26-blog]

Vegetarian?

I've just started my journey as a vegetarian, believe me it was NOT by choice. To keep the story simple, my intestines don't like meat and it puts me in excruciating pain to eat meat or unhealthy processed foods. Now this wouldn't be a big deal to most people, but most people love their meat. I'm the same. I'm having a difficult time finding recipes I like as well as whole foods I love. If anyone has recipes suggestions or just feel like talking hmu!

[beccathebecca26-blog]

Depression.

My depression is getting worse. I'm so tired. Why doesn't anything work out?

[beccathebecca26-blog]

Being lonely.

Being lonely is exhausting. Even if you're busy, you're still lonely. I have wonderful people in my life. Yet I'm lonely. I have no real friends. I have my family and I have my boyfriend, who is especially amazing. I'm tired all the time. I work, I come home, I have fun with my boyfriend, I go to sleep. I finally make actual plans to do something with someone out of the regular circle to be crushed "sorry not tonight. I'm really tired..." "something came up" "I'm not up for it." All the usual lines. All the things I always get. I have been cancelled on so many times by this "friend." I'm the one who is concerned, I'm the one who texts first, arranges things, that's how every friend I've ever had has been. I'm tired. I'm lonely, but mostly just depressed. I'm that friend who would always stand by your side, but I'm also that friend who is always put off from the group. The "weird one," "awkward," "out of place." When I was in elementary I hung out with boys, boys stopped liking me. I hung out with girls in high school. Girls liked shoes and I didn't understand. I never got along with the dramatic, which is ironic as I write something like this. I'm just too tired to care. Loneliness is exhausting.

[beccathebecca26-blog]

Random thought

As I sit here, my hair wet, wearing over sized clothes, listening to some playlist on Spotify, and watching my boyfriend cook breakfast. I let time slow, my worries begin to fade, and I realize this is peace. This is my joy. One day I'll look back to when I was young and worried about bills and the world and things that I couldn't change. And I'll laugh at myself with regret that I didn't enjoy the time that I had. So instead. Today. I will enjoy, laugh, let someone else worry for a change.