I Can Take Care Of Myself

Welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm Alice Churchill but you can call me Ali. These are my adventures. This is the story of how I became the woman that you see today. This is the story of how I fell in love. And this is the story of how I lost myself. Buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride. [1x1 Alice & Jules spin-off of AGH]

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming--ali]

becoming-jules:

Her ears burned from the comments and laughter she could just about make out over the general din of the classroom. Most of the time she counted herself lucky for the friends she’d made at Hogwarts. But in that moment she really wished they’d disappear. It wasn’t so much for her own benefit as much as it was for Alice’s but Jules mostly couldn’t see the need to make such a big deal out of wanting to reach out and befriend the Ravenclaw that had remained so elusive in her life, despite their shared friendship circle.

“You know what they say about patience, right?” Jules stilled her hands long enough to look over and make sure her eyes met Alice’s. “Good things come to those that wait.” Were they still even talking about the potion? Cause really, her words applied to more than just the concoction bubbling away in front of them. “I mean… I guess I really like the sense of accomplishment when it’s done? It’s like working on a project, except I know immediately how it turns out,” she offered, giving Alice an out if her casual flirting wasn’t wanted.

It was weird to her how many people she’d met who didn’t like flying. The sense of freedom it afforded her when they were cooped up in the castle grounds was only part of the reason she couldn’t wait to get on her broom at any given opportunity. “That makes sense. Can’t say I’ve ever seen you on a broom. Not a fan of heights?” Having issues with being high up was one thing, but if it was something else, Jules wanted to see if she could help. “Or just not used to it? I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I guess I kinda am…but I’m pretty good. Bet I could make you reconsider how much you hate flying.”

"Patience and I aren't friends," Alice quickly retorted. "In fact, I can't stand patience. Patience either gets you killed or makes life super boring. But that's more of a me, thing, and not really a logical way of thinking. So..." Alice shrugged, eyes looking down at the potion that continued to bubble and brew as her hands went to tapping lightly on the table in an unknown rhythm. It was then that she looked up just in time to have Jules' gorgeous gaze land on hers as she spoke the next sentence.

Just like that her throat felt tight and she didn't know why. More-so than that she didn't want to know why. Clearing her throat, she looked back down at the potion and decided that she should probably respond to Jules in some way. "And here I thought that Gryffindors weren't perfectionists. I'll have to write that one down in the new manual." She joked, well, at least she hoped it came off as a joke. She was horrible at jokes.

Alice felt her body immediately freeze at the talks of flying. She had remained safely on the ground all these years, there was no way in hell she was going to be up in the air on some stupid ass broom. "You know, I doubt even the prettiest girl at Hogwarts could make me get on a broom." She didn't realize what she'd implied as her gaze turned back to the potion that was now bubbling the correct color. "Oh hey it looks like that's done!"

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming-jules]

“You…oh…” Jules felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she blushed like a schoolgirl with a crush - which was technically true, she guessed. Her gaze dropped down to her feet as she smiled, not really understanding why she felt the need to hide that fact, but hide it she did. She wasn’t the kind of person to ever be ashamed of her feelings, but never had she reacted as strongly as this to an admission that wasn’t even particularly positive. Alice could care about her but that didn’t mean she actually did and then there was the whole issue where Alice didn’t want to get close to her because of that fact, which meant she probably didn’t want to care about her. It was a weird situation to be in, but still, she couldn’t stop smiling at the fact that Alice not only didn’t not like her, but she’d obviously thought about her enough to come to the conclusion that she could care about her.

Turning her head ever so slightly, Jules caught track of Matt and Libby staring at them, and directed a scowl in their direction, making it clear that she didn’t need an audience. But Alice was right. Their mutual friends really did have a way of weaseling their way into everything so it didn’t surprise her that they’d managed to wrangle a friendship out of Alice just by sheer persistence. “I get that. I’ve been trying to give them the slip for four years and I think we’re well and truly stuck with them. But you know…now that I know you don’t hate me, you’re not exactly going to be able to get rid of me either. Cause I’m me and you’re you and I’d really like to get to know you.”

Not wanting to put Alice on the spot, Jules continued working on their potion; adding things and stirring when necessary. Just like the others, she was persistent and stubborn to boot, but Jules also hadn’t worked out where to draw the line yet. Alice had all these walls up and the last thing she wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable. Maybe that was why she felt the need to hide her feelings, because more than anything else, Jules felt the need to protect her friends, to protect Alice. Even if it meant protecting them from herself. 

[becoming--ali]

Cause I’m me and you’re you. Alice rose an eyebrow at that explanation because for the first time in her years on this planet, she’d never heard something sound more simple or more complicated than that sentence. Not only that but it also sent her heart into overdrive just that much more, not that she’d let Jules see or realize that fact. As Jules continued to help with the potion, aka pretty much do the whole thing, she watched the other blonde as she worked. She was meticulous, making sure that everything she did was done right, correctly, perfect. It was hard not to get lost while watching her, wondering things that she shouldn’t be wondering.

But how could she not question this girl? How could she just sit there, silent as a lamb while this girl was next to her and helping her more than anyone else had ever tried to. Alice couldn’t possibly begin to understand why Jules was trying to be her friend, she couldn’t really understand why any of them were, if she were being honest with herself. It’s not like she was that good of a friend or even really knew how to maintain a healthy relationship. Her brother had always laughed at her, saying she’d figure it out one day but what if that day never came?

With a sigh, she let her chin rest in her hand as she stared wistfully in Jules’ direction for several moments. A loud bark of laughter came from their corner and Alice didn’t need to glare at her friends to know that it was them. Shaking her head, she began to draw patterns on the tabletop with her finger. “So... Is it almost done? Potions take so long.” She half-whined with a groan before letting her head lightly bump against the table for several seconds. “I just don’t understand why potions have to be so tedious. I would rather go outside and fly. And I hate flying.”

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming-jules]

“You don’t?” Jules tried to hide the surprise in her voice, but that was nigh on impossible when the truth was that she’d been convinced for awhile now that Alice hated her. Okay, maybe not hated. Hate was a strong word and one Jules only ever used when she meant it. For instance, History of Magic. Now that was a thing Jules hated. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that she’d been sure that Alice disliked her for some reason and she’d been wracking her brain all summer to try and figure it out. “Really?” She let out a small laugh, only stopping because she didn’t want Alice to get the wrong idea or for Professor Wayne to tell them off again. “Sorry, it’s just…I was so sure you did, and it’s kind of a relief.”

For the last couple of minutes Jules had been working on autopilot, already knowing exactly what to do after she’d skimmed the instructions at the start of the class, while guiding Alice gently through the process. They worked well together, although Jules more than a little aware of the fact that Alice was barely taking any of it in. Jules didn’t see it as a problem though. They had a year to figure out how to make potions more bearable for the Ravenclaw, and Jules had every intention of enjoying that year.

That’s if they made it to the end of the year. Because just as Jules turned her attention back to the potion, she registered Alice about to drop in a handful of ginger root, a good step or two early. Without hesitating, she instinctively reached out to gently cup the other’s girls hand in her own and move it away. “Not yet. I’ve got to stir it counter clockwise twelve times first.” But despite her words, Jules remained rooted in place, still holding onto Alice’s hand as she attempted to continue their conversation from earlier. “Then what is it? You don’t have anything against me but? Did I do something? Is there something I need to apologise for, because whatever it is, I’m sorry. I know that’s a terrible apology. It’s just…what’s a girl gotta do around here for you to realise she wants to be your friend, and not just because we have a bunch of friends in common, although that’s true too.”

[becoming--ali]

She probably really should have been paying attention but Alice most often always got lost in her own damned head so when she realized that something wasn’t quite right, it was due to her inability to focus. Before she knew what was happening, electricity was coursing through her veins and she realized a hand was holding her own. Blinking slowly, blue orbs drifted to the hand that was still continuing to hold her own. She tried to formulate a response to apparently getting the wrong ingredient or doing it too soon or whatever but Jules didn’t even let her truly breathe because she was still holding onto her hand. 

Jules kept talking, kept asking, kept reaching for answers that Alice was more than willing to keep hidden for the rest of her life. Libby was looking at them from the corner, clearly seeing the discomfort on her friends face, smacking Matt’s arm as she nodded at the pair. Flora was too busy in her own potion to be paying attention but Matt and Libby were now very attentive and attuned to the energy that was literally flowing off of Alice in waves. 

The young Ravenclaw tried to get words out, her mouth opening and closing for several moments before she managed to retract her hand and suddenly, just like that, she felt like she could breathe again. Her brain began to fire on full capacity once more and Alice finally processed enough of what Jules had said to get a dignified response back to her. “You’re just you...” She whispered, looking down at their table. “I’m not good with people, with friends. Penny, Libbs, Matt and Flo literally wouldn’t let me not be friends with them. And I love them for it but it’s just hard for me to get close to someone on my own...” Her breath hitched as she locked eyes with Jules, unable to stop the next words that came out. “It’s just hard for me to get close to someone who I could really care about.”

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming-jules]

Despite sitting down and lowering their voices, Professor Wayne was still looking over in their direction, which was why Jules immediately started to clean the work area in front of her and rearrange the items on their table, in an effort to make it seem like they’d started and were well on their way to making their potion. She’d make up the time later but for now she had a Ravenclaw to put at ease and she wasn’t about to mess that up. Not now that she had the perfect opportunity to finally get to know her. The situation was a little weird, but Jules was not one to let any kind of opportunity pass her. 

“Sure we can drink it, but none of that, okay?” She did the whole self-deprecating thing from time to time too, but the difference was that most of the time she didn’t mean it and given Alice’s tone, that wasn’t the case in this situation. Which was why her next move was to put a stop to that. “I mean, I did volunteer to swap with Conrad, after all. So if anything you’re the one who’s stuck with me. Although, I don’t know about you but right now I think you’re in a better position than you were in 10 minutes ago. That could just be me though. You do seem to have that thing against me.” 

Giving Alice a crooked smile that hopefully conveyed the fact that she was joking and that she really wasn’t upset by this turn of events at all, Jules turned back to the open book in front of them and listed off the ingredients, making sure they had everything they needed to start and finish the potion. “You ready? And like I said, don’t worry. We’ll have one of the best potions in here by the time we’re done, I promise.” 

[becoming--ali]

Her brow furrowed when Jules told her none of that. So she could drink it but not drink it? What the bloody devil was this blonde on about? Before she could even begin to open her mouth to ask, Jules was talking again and then it dawned on her. She’d been putting herself down and Jules was just stopping that process before it really took flight. A small smile warmed its way over her face, despite her best intentions to just remain chill around the other girl. However when Jules mentioned that she had a thing against her, Alice frowned, looking down at the floor.

It wasn’t that she had something against Jules per se... It was just, well, Jules was scary to Alice. Not in like a, hide under your bed serial killer kind of way. Jules was warm and bright and kind and--everything that made Alice afraid. Her father had been all of those things and then he’d just disappeared, left without a trace. Sure, there were those elements in Penny and Libby and Matt and the rest of her group. But those relationships had been enforced on her and she let them get as close as she possibly could without feeling overwhelmed. Well, that was a lie, she always felt overwhelmed. Her mum always said as she matured, it would be easier. Something about that sounded very untrue.

So here was Jules, asking her if they were ready and Alice could only nod as they began to make the potion, putting in the right amount of ingredients as she was told and almost wincing when her shaking hand almost dropped too much of something or other inside. Alice couldn’t be bothered to know what was actually going into the potion, she hated this class more than anything. As she watched Jules stir the ingredients together, she bit her lip before speaking without really meaning to. “I don’t have something against you.” The words came out soft, almost in a whisper as she struggled to ignore the tightness in her chest from the revelation.

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming--ali]

becoming-jules:

As someone who actually did well in Potions, Professor Wayne was the last person Jules wanted to piss off, but she was a good enough judge of character to know that the guy was mostly all bark when it came to his top students. As long as she delivered a top notch potion by the end of class, he’d be okay. The only thing standing in the way of that said potion was Alice. But they still had well over half the class left, and Jules was more positive that they could catch up with the rest of the class, and all while she occasionally stole glances at Alice. 

Not that she really needed to in that moment, because Alice was trying and kind of failing at trying to start a conversation with her. If it had been anyone else, Jules would’ve jumped in and attempted to steer the conversation in the right direction, to save them from tripping all over their words. But this was Alice, and therefore it was the cutest thing Jules had ever seen in her life and for a moment she was rooted to the spot, unable to intervene even if she’d wanted to. Only when Alice finally seemed to run out of words did she realise that she needed to say something and Jules said the first thing that came to her mind. “You’re cute.”

Oh shit, she probably shouldn’t have said that, but it was too late now. And it was true. Alice was cute. Really cute. And Jules was so aware of the fact that she really needed to say something else instead of just smiling at her new potions partner.  Coughing to try and mask her own little derp moment, Jules grabbed her book and flipped through it until she found the right page. “Ironically we’re meant to be making a Calming Draught, which Conrad could do with. And don’t listen to him. He’s an arse. Just - yeah, don’t worry about it. Potions is one of my better classes and I’m a lot more patient than that jerk, so I think we’re going to be just fine, okay? Trust me.”

She could only hope that Jules would save her from the tailspin that she was causing by her word vomit but fate had other plans, however. Next thing she knew, Jules was calling her cute and Alice’s mind was shutting down in all the wrong ways possible. This was a girl who she’d been purposefully avoiding since day one, basically, and now they were talking and sitting together and most of the first thing she ever truly says to her that has anything of substantial value is that she finds Alice to be cute. Her brain is malfunctioning and she’s pretty sure it’s all the damned Gryffindors fault. 

Her eyes remain widened, not really knowing what to say as she stares at Jules, her jaw slightly dropped. Luckily for her, the moment was passing by rather quickly because Jules was talking about the assignment that they needed to do, her brain recognizing the word ‘calming’ and then her brain stopped and her mouth just picked up where it left off. Someone, anyone, please end her now for what was about to leave her mouth. “Calming, eh? Good. I could use a good calming potion right about now. I’m the least calm person at this exact moment. Can we drink the calming potion thing after we’re done with it? I mean, when I don’t butcher it?”

Alice blinked, wishing she hadn’t had the two cups of coffee this morning because clearly they weren’t putting her in the right state of mind. Or even in a good place where Jules was concerned. Usually she had more structure than this, better wording with sentences and for the love of Merlin, she could at least talk to a person without word vomiting all over them. But this was Jules. And Jules was someone that Alice had never planned on being a part of her life. Godric, she was going to need to write in her journal about this. Letting out a deep breath, she looked down at the table, willing herself to calm down. With a sigh, she managed out a sentence that wasn’t haywire but wasn’t exactly happy either. “Sorry you got stuck with me.”

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming-jules]

Jules shifted her weight from foot to foot, as she stood next to Alice, awkwardly waiting for the other girl to same something. The fact that their shared friends were in hysterics wasn’t helping the situation either. She stared them down, trying to get them to shut the fuck up with just a glance but she needn’t have bothered because if anything they seemed to laugh harder. Instead, Jules rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Alice again. 

Which probably wasn’t the best plan ever considering how easy it was to lose track of time when she looked at Alice. Jules wouldn’t exactly call it a crush because crushes were kinda lame, and it’s not like she even knew Alice that well either, but then again there wasn’t a word for “I think she’s cute and I wish she’d talk to me. And I like it when we have classes together because it’s easier to subtly glance at her and - Jules why are you such a freakin’ creeper, dammit”.

But then Alice had to go and somehow make it all worse by reintroducing herself to her, which only made their friends collapse with laughter until Professor Wayne intervened. The corner of Jules’s own mouth twitched but she refrained from laughing, and instead she chose that moment to stage whisper “I know. I’m Jules” before raising a hand and pointing at herself. It was kind of dorky, but then again she really dug dorkiness and Alice was the biggest dork she knew. Laughing at her now would only set her back another 3 weeks of possible interaction time. The teasing could wait for another time.

“Miss Goldstein and Miss Churchill, I would advise you both to sit down and continue your private conversation during a time that isn’t my time, before I start docking points. Do I make myself clear?” Jules winced and hurriedly sat down as she yelled “Crystal!” for Professor Wayne to hear. 

[becoming--ali]

Everything was silent save for the students muffled talking in the background and so Alice wondered if Jules had left the table, slowly lifting her head but was most definitely greeted with the sight that, yes, Jules was still there. And then, by some miracle, Jules decided to return Alice’s awkward greeting. Watching her with wide blue eyes, Alice tried to decipher whether she was being mocked or if the younger girl was just trying to get her to feel comfortable. Before she could ask, she heard Professor Wayne’s voice once more, slouching even further in her seat.

Jules soon sat down next to her, Alice looking at her potions book and tracing circles into the worn cover with her index finger, wishing she were anywhere but here. But she knew that the deal was struck, Jules was her partner in potions now and it couldn’t be undone. She just had to suck this one up and get potions over with. Taking in a deep breath, Alice looked over at Jules and gave her a timid smile. All she seemed to be doing lately was awkwardly smiling at the girl, knowing that she should probably try speaking.

“So...” She started out lamely, biting the inside of her cheek as she kept drawing the same circle into her textbook. “What do you want to do?” Alice couldn’t even stop herself from saying the words, realizing all too late how stupid they sounded as she was reminded that they were in a potions class and not just randomly hanging out. Not that they ever would, but still. “I mean.. I--You know, what uh... Potion are we making that you--You will probably be really good at. I just--It doesn’t make much sense to me. Potions. Everything else I get except, uh... Potions. I don’t know why.” She rambled out the words in a rush, broken fragmented sentences greeting Jules’s ears as she blushed a bright red.

[oilversqueen]

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming-jules]

The last thing Jules ever expected was a simple nod from Alice. Even the optimistic side of her had been prepared for some flailing, possibly a moment of speechlessness, before eventually going along with it begrudgingly. Not once had she thought it would be this simple. Which was why she didn’t quite believe what she’d seen until she heard Professor Wayne sigh and dismiss them both. “Fine, Mr. Walsh swap with Miss Goldstein, and do it quickly. You’ve disrupted my class enough today.” 

And Jules was still stunned and frozen in place until Conrad was headed back over to where she and Luke sat. “Uh Goldstein, you’re in my spot still.”  Snapping out of her daydream, Jules looked up and saw him stood in front of her. Quickly reeling off an apology, she shoved all of her belongings haphazardly into her book bag and shot Luke a look that hopefully screamed “I’m sorry and we’ll talk later”. Rising from her table, she hefted her bag over her shoulder and was about to walk off when Conrad’s hand found it’s way round her arm. “Hey Goldstein? Be careful. If I’d have known she was this bad at Potions I’d have saved myself the trouble from the beginning. No girl’s worth a Troll grade in anything.” 

Jules immediately bristled and wrenched his hand off of her. “I’ll do just fine. Maybe having a partner that’s not a total wankstain will do her some good too,” she gritted out, catching the eye of Libby and Matt who were sat across from her and who were currently trying desperately not to laugh. Making sure to clip her shoulder with his as she turned and continue walking as she knocked him off balance, Jules made her way over to where Alice was sat and dropped her bag down on the bench. “Hey you. Ready to get this potion going again, partner?”

[becoming--ali]

No one responded to her question, no one said anything to the confusion that was now plastered over her face. A small giggle escaped someone’s lips, Alice turning to see Flora chuckling with Matt and Libby, sending them all glares which only made them laugh harder. She knew that she wasn’t that scary but she could be, she could be if she really did want to lose them but by now... After all this time, she didn’t want to be alone again. Not again. Suddenly, a voice floated into her head and Alice was spinning yet again to look towards where it came from.

Jules smelled nice and Alice hated it. Not only did she smell nice but she looked nice and smiled nice and sounded nice and--Merlin, how the hell was she supposed to concentrate on potions at all now? Blinking slowly, Alice struggled to remember exactly what Jules had said as she sidled up to her but it was all forgotten because Jules was right here, right smack dab beside her and all proper thought had flown out the window. “I’m Alice.” She spoke in a breath, her voice cracking slightly at the tail end of saying her name as she pointed an index finger towards herself.

Howls of laughter could be heard from where her friends sat, Alice going even more red than before and was thankful when Professor Wayne went over to talk to the trio to get them to calm down. She didn’t even realize what she’d uttered out but she tried to pretend like she knew, offering another terribly awkward smile and nod before she just proceeded to lay her head right atop the desk, letting her eyes close. Maybe, if she didn’t move or didn’t breathe, she’d just pass out and not have to be in class. Merlin help.

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

[becoming-jules]

Curiosity was definitely a Goldstein trait and Jules had it in spades. She wanted to know everything and liked being kept up to date about things going on around her, but when it came to rubbernecking, Jules just couldn’t see the fascination with trying to witness something that more often than not involved someone getting hurt or embarrassed -  apparently schadenfreude just wasn’t for her. And while the rest of her class were blatantly whispering about Alice messing up again, she at least tried to continue with her own work. It wasn’t like she’d get any better with everyone staring at her and Jules really did just want to get her own potion sorted. But there was no way she could ignore Conrad flipping out and full on yelling at Alice. Nobody deserved to be spoken to like that no matter what was going on. 

Standing up, Jules was about to open her mouth and heckle the other Gryffindor, but Professor Wayne got there first. “Mr. Walsh, please refrain from shouting in my classroom. If you have a problem please see me at my desk. The rest of you can go back to work, and that includes you Miss Goldstein.” Feeling slightly sheepish, Jules sat back down but kept an eye on Conrad as he walked to the front of the class to talk to Professor Wayne privately. While her bench was one of the ones closest to the front, Jules could only make out a couple of words, but she got the general gist based on what the idiot had shouted earlier.

Getting up once more, she told Luke she needed to get another ingredient - an obvious lie to anyone who’d read the instructions and therefore knew they had everything already, which Luke had but he simply nodded along and didn’t question it - and made sure to walk as slowly as she could. Yup, Conrad was definitely arguing with Wayne about the fact that Wayne didn’t think it was fair to split anyone up after three weeks, but in reality Jules knew he just didn’t like the boy and was being difficult on purpose - good on him. 

“I’ll swap with him.” She didn’t know why she’d opened her mouth and she really hadn’t been intending to, but now that she’d done it, she couldn’t and wouldn’t take it back. And okay maybe she thought Alice was cute and this would be her chance to try to be friends with her, while simultaneously saving her from the douchebag that was Conrad Walsh. “He can pair up with Luke and I’ll be Alice’s partner instead,” she clarified, making sure everyone knew exactly what she was saying, as her eyes found Alice’s. “That’s if Alice is okay with that arrangement?”

[becoming--ali]

Her eyes were downcast for the tirade that she was sure was about to begin but instead, she heard him ask for a new partner. Looking up at him, she just barely managed to see none other than Jules stand up from where she was seated. Confusion spread across her face but Alice paid it no mind due to the fact that Professor Wayne had called for Conrad to come to his desk. Alice watched helplessly as the boy that she thought was a decent human being walked towards the Professor and began to start talking about most likely getting a new seating assignment.

Slowly but surely, Alice felt the heat rise up from her neck to her face, embarrassment and shame all mixed into one. Reaching for her bag, Alice grabbed her headphones and put the earbuds in, wanting nothing more than to shut out the rest of the world as she waited for Conrad to eventually get his way, like he always managed to. And that’s why she had no idea that for a second time, Jules had gotten up from her seat and then volunteered to be Alice’s partner.

That’s why she still had no idea why Jules was looking at her after she felt someone staring. Giving the girl a small and yet awkward smile, Alice nodded in her direction as a greeting of hello, not realizing what she’d accidentally just implied to her own Professor and the girl she’d been actively avoiding for the past 4 years; the nod had meant a yes to them. Without even realizing what she’d done, Alice had just set in motion events that would change her life forever. Oh how funny a simple nod could be.

Within seconds, Conrad was coming up next to her, wrenching his book bag away from their station while giving her a glare causing Alice to pull out an earbud. “Try not to blow it up in her face, Churchill. Goldstein’s got a pretty face and smarts. Too bad I can’t say the same for you.” Alice was just about to bite back at him, or at least try to when she realized what he said. Blue eyes went wide as she spun in her chair to face the other blonde.

“Excuse me, what?”

[50starsand13bars-deactivated201]

You’ll regret not kissing her a lot more than you’ll regret kissing her.

(via suspend)

[becoming-jules]

At The Beginning

While it was obvious that Becca and Jason were the clever ones in her family, Jules wouldn’t have labelled herself as dumb either. Studying just didn’t come as easily to her and neither did sitting still, which was probably the main factor for why she’d ended up in Gryffindor. Known for bravery, it was also the house where everyone tended to act before thinking, and that was Jules to a tee most of the time. Still, despite all that, nobody could say that Jules didn’t work her arse off. She wasn’t about to be the first Goldstein to fail a class.

Thankfully today was a Tuesday, which meant double Transfiguration and then double Potions with the Ravenclaws, and if there was one class she kicked arse in, it was Potions. Jules wasn’t top of her class or anything, but she was close and that was enough for her. And obviously enough for Luke, the cute Ravenclaw she’d kissed at the end of fourth year, who’d found her at the start of their first 5th year Potions class and asked her to be his partner. He’d seemed to have forgotten the part where she’d made him cry a day after they’d kissed, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to remind him. Things like that didn’t happen to her every day - people rarely ever picked her first for anything, save for Quidditch - so she’d said yes without much thought.

But recently a different cute Ravenclaw had been on her mind, and said Ravenclaw didn’t seem to be having much luck with her own partner, who was once again cursing at her for ruining yet another potion - the third in a row. And here Jules had thought that Alice was good at everything, but apparently that was far from true if the smell of burning wood said anything about her potion making skills.

[becoming--ali]

Alice wanted to crawl into a hole and never ever, ever come back out. She was good at things, a lot of things. And those things just came naturally to her so she never had to have anxiety about them. But this? Potions? This was not easy for her. Despite it being shown in a stupid arse of a book on what to give and how much, it just wasn’t clicking inside her brain that she could do this. She’d never been good with ingredients or cooking and she had this mindset where if she wasn’t going to be good at something the first time, then the anxiety that she would fail would ultimately overwhelm her.

Hence why, she’d just made another potion blow up in Conrad’s face. It had been a few weeks into the term and she knew he was damn well close to losing his patience about two classes ago. It had also been a little while since that group text with everyone. And her. Jules Goldstein. There was just something about her that made Alice lightheaded and even more flaily than she already was but she wouldn’t allow herself to find out why. Something about the girl just made her realize that there was something special and different there, something that could change her world forever. However, it wasn’t enough.

Alice wasn’t willing to let herself into the potential of feeling too much and then having things go poorly. She’d already let her heart be broken by someone who was supposed to love her unconditionally. Not that Jules would love her unconditionally--Jules was probably as straight as they come. Sadly, what Alice didn’t realize was that while she was rambling in her own damned head, Conrad was glaring at her before he slammed his hand down on his desk.

“Dammit Alice, get your head out of your arse and be useful for once.” He about yelled, causing everyone in the classroom to look towards their table, Alice being pulled out of her mind to look at him, cheeks flushed in embarrassment before he took it one step further. “Professor I want a new partner.“

[becoming--ali]

I’m Just Full of Surprises || Juice F2F

[becoming-jules]

Jules was playing with fire, and she knew it. Even after all these years, Alice and Nessa didn’t exactly get along and she was lucky enough that her wife seemed to be understanding enough to continue letting them work together. Along with Lauren, Nessa was someone Jules trusted implicitly to have her back when out in the field. But her skills and her friendship were all Nessa had to offer Jules. Even when they’d had their little arrangement, Jules’s heart had never completely let go of Alice. And when her and Alice had ended up being in each others lives again, even as friends, that was all it took for Jules to know that her and Nessa weren’t going to work out. Unfortunately, it had taken her awhile to make the decision to end things which was probably where all this insecurity stemmed from.

A jealous Alice was hot sight though. Was she a terrible person for thinking that? She wasn’t left to ponder that thought for long though, because Alice was still talking and husking sexy things into her ear. Yep, her wife being jealous and possessive was definitely hot. With Alice’s mouth by her ear, Jules was in prime position to lean in and place kisses along the length of her wife’s neck and jaw line. “I’m yours. All yours. Let’s not talk about her or Lauren right now. And Becca?” Her hands moved to take the phone out of Alice’s hands and toss it onto the couch behind her. “Telling Becca can wait until tomorrow because I can think of a better way for us to celebrate.” Jules whispered wetly into Alice’s neck, nipping the skin lightly with her teeth. 

[becoming--ali]

Okay, so, she’d been planning on making her wife weak at the knees. She hadn’t planned for Jules to retaliate with, ugh, Godric, neck kisses. She also knew that Jules knew how sensitive her neck was, her head slightly tipping back as she barely managed to keep the moan from leaving her throat. Swallowing thickly, her hand dropped from her stomach to grip at slender hip-bones, pulling the woman closer into her, despite the thought that they probably shouldn’t be doing this in the living room for Merlin’s sake. And when she felt a nip at her neck, hearing her phone hit the couch, that’s when she knew that the couch was not the place for this.

Despite her best judgement, Alice knew they weren’t eighteen and she didn’t think either of them would be okay with a major crick in their necks if they did it on their not so comfortable couch. Pulling away, Alice revealed normally light blue eyes that were dark with desire, fingers finding Jules’s waistband, tugging on it once before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards their bedroom. Once inside, door shut so the dogs wouldn’t get in again, Alice gently pushed Jules down onto the bed before kissing her and straddling her lap. “I think I’m going to enjoy some of these pregnancy hormones.” And with that, Alice didn’t utter another word as she let slender fingers begin to pull at Jules’s top, starting a very rewarding welcome home present for the young couple. Life couldn’t get any better.

[becoming--ali]

I’m Just Full of Surprises || Juice F2F

[becoming-jules]

Scrunching up her nose, Jules kept perfectly still as Alice spontaneously placed kisses all over her face. Even when she protested, Jules actually loved when her wife was this playful with her. Several years into their relationship and that hadn’t changed and she really hoped it never would. They were truly happy together and she would rather die than let anything come between her and Alice again. And now they were adding a third to their number, and maybe in time there would be a fourth and fifth too…but that was her getting a little too ahead of herself.

“Good because now we’ve got someone else to think of and love too, so if I wasn’t already planning on spending the rest of my life with you, now I’m doubly never leaving your side.” Jules leant in to kiss Alice deeply, taking her time and just savouring the feeling of being pressed up against her wife and knowing that somewhere between them was her child. As Alice pulled away, Jules whined and looked into her wife’s eyes, noticing the way they shone, belying the fact that she was just as emotional as Jules was. Trailing her gaze down to the phone in Alice’s hand, Jules smirked and shrugged. “We both know who I’m going to call, but I’m laughing at the fact that you’re revoking sex when it comes to talking about Lauren. What if I’d said Nessa?”

[becoming--ali]

Alice was about to go back to kissing her wife when the younger woman brought up her ex. Raising a perfectly arched brow, she placed her hands on her hips, giving Jules a look that just screamed ‘I double dog dare you’. Nessa was, and would always be, a touchy subject. The woman had held a place in Jules’s heart once upon a time. Not all of it of course, but enough to make her feel very territorial and cross whenever she was brought up. “I am fine with that woman coming over for Chrismukkah with the rest of your bird people. Friends. Whatever. Just... You’re my wife. She damn well better know that.” Alice said with a slight growl, sighing as she looked down at the floor.

She didn’t like getting jealous but that woman just made her blood boil. She was so perfect and poised, badass and--Just everything Alice wasn’t and could never be. And she hated it. But most of all she hated how she got when she heard about her. Women had enough problems of being pitted against each other in media so why did she have to fit into the stereotype of grudge holding? Letting out a deep breath, Alice let her forehead rest against her wife’s. “I love you. And I’m sorry I get so... Grr.” She uttered out in a small whisper, her hand coming to rest on her still flat stomach. “But you know what the best part of being pregnant is? Besides the baby of course...” Alice moved her mouth to Jules’s ear, her voice coming out in a husky tone as she spoke the next few words, knowing that she’d make Jules weak at the knees. “The sex.”

[becoming--ali]

I’m Just Full of Surprises || Juice F2F

[becoming--ali]

becoming-jules:

Even though she was trying not to get her hopes up, it was a little late for that. There was no way she wasn’t going to be disappointed if it turned out she’d actually managed to completely misinterpret what Alice had just said to her. Family was important to her, and six years ago having anything like this would have been a far off dream to her. But now here she was, 26 years old, doing a job she loved and married to the woman of her dreams. There was only one way her life could get better, and this was it. 

And if she knew Alice better than anyone, then Alice knew her better than anyone, because rather than laughing at her, Alice patiently took a step back and confirmed (with actions!) that Jules had indeed heard her correctly. Holy shit, she was going to be a mum. They were going to have a baby. Together. A potential mini Alice or mini her was growing inside of her wife and in less than nine months, they’d have a baby. Soft hands cupping her face brought her back down to earth and Jules’s hands went straight to Alice’s stomach. “We’re going to have a baby.” She repeated again, but this time it wasn’t a question. “We’re going to be parents.” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and Jules made no attempt to wipe them away. “Have I told you lately that I love you? Cause I really do.”

She’d been expecting shrieks of surprise, possibly jumping of joy and Jules immediately calling her little sister. But no, there she was, hands planted on Alice’s abdomen, eyes watery with tears streaming down her cheeks as she blubbered like a, well... A baby. Alice giggled because the scene was just too precious to ignore, thumbs wiping away the happy tears as she responded to Jules’s declaration of love with her own form of response. Shyly but deliberately, Alice began to pepper kisses all over her wife’s face, her playful moves slowly subsiding to that of gentle, slow movements.

“I’m in love with you and I always will be.” She murmured softly, pressing another gentle kiss to the younger girl’s nose. “And I...” Alice trailed off, pulling back slightly to let her hands join where Jules’s still were, tracing the girl’s adorably small hands tenderly. “I’m going to love the hell out of this kid.” Alice let out a watery laugh of her own, tears there but she managed to keep herself restrained. They didn’t need two blubbering idiots in one room. Clearing her throat, Alice backed up slightly, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. “So! Who shall we call first? And if you say Lauren, I will revoke sex privileges.”

[becoming--ali]

I’m Just Full of Surprises || Juice F2F

[becoming-jules]

Jules stood firmly rooted to the ground, arms still wrapped around her wife, as she stood there and processed the words Alice was saying. They’d been in each others lives for over 10 years and she prided herself in being able to speak fluent Alice, because Merlin only knew how hard it was to understand her rambling some days, but today it was taking her brain longer than usual to take it all in and make sense of it. 

“You saw Penny and we…we’re having a baby?”She asked hesitantly, wanting to make sure she’d heard Alice correctly. “Did I…are we? You’re pre-pregnant?” Jules asked shakily, her voice cracking mid-word because she really didn’t want to get her hopes up. A family with Alice was all she wanted and while they’d only been trying for a few weeks, Jules knew that sooner or later it had to happen. She just didn’t think it was going to be sooner. 

[becoming--ali]

Alice’s face scrunched cutely in confusion as Jules asked her if they were having a baby and then yet again by asking if she was pregnant. Didn’t she more or less just say that to her wife? Blinking several times, Alice bit her lip, wracking her brain on how to word this better for Jules. It was probably just shock, yeah, that had to be it. Backing up slightly so Jules could fully see her, Alice began to talk once more, this time using hand motions to aid her.

“You and I,” she motioned between the two of them. “Are going to be having a baby.” Alice made a rocking motion with her arms as if holding an imaginary infant. Just to make sure Jules got the idea, Alice pointed to Jules tummy. “Free to use” Then she pointed to her own, a smile overtaking her face, the woman practically glowing as she spoke again. “Occupied.” Mentally kicking herself for using airplane bathroom references, Alice chuckled despite herself, bouncing slightly from foot to foot. “Becca is going to freak.” She said as she cupped Jules cheeks with her hands. “Now... Say something, Mama.”

[becoming--ali]

I’m Just Full of Surprises || Juice F2F

[becoming--ali]

becoming-jules:

Jules leant into the kiss, her hands automatically coming to rest at their rightful place, aka the small of Alice’s back. She would never get tired of being able to kiss her wife whenever she wanted to, even though she knew that part of this was just Alice trying to calm herself down. Not that it bothered her in the slightest. Even before they’d gotten married, she’d loved being the person that Alice always turned to.  

When Alice pulled away from the kiss, Jules took the opportunity to nuzzle her nose with her own and reply with their customary “hey back” greeting. It wasn’t until a moment later that Alice opened her mouth again to tell her whatever was bothering her, or rather Alice announcing that there was something she needed to say, which Jules knew already. “I kind of got that from the whole hurry home thing. But you know, you don’t exactly have the best track record of saying that and following it with something good so uh…wanna make me less of a nervous wreck by telling me what’s going on, babe?” Jules said, trying to laugh off the fact that she really was nervous. There she was, a badass member of the Birds of Prey, and yet she could still be made to feel like she was 17 again with just a sentence from her wife. 

If it had been any other time, Alice would have noticed all the hints back to that terrible night where she’d broken both their hearts by ending things. But tonight was not that night and she had too many other things on her mind. She could tell that Jules was trying to be all cool and calm and collected but she would have to be an idiot to not read the signs, to not see how worried her wife actually was.

Clearing her throat, Alice gave another small smile before taking a deep breath and clapping her hands together. “The news! Yes… The news. Well… Uh… I went to see Penny today and uh…” Her face was scarlet, a shade her wife was probably used to by now but suddenly she was feeling nausea, Alice reeling backwards as she struggled to keep her lunch down that she’d eaten earlier that day. Thankfully the feeling subsided and she hurriedly rushed out her news.

“Howdoyoufeelaboutadaughterorasonbecausewearehavingone.”

[becoming--ali]

I’m Just Full of Surprises || Juice F2F

[becoming-jules]

Pulling up into their drive at breakneck speed, Jules hit the brake hard and hit down the kickstand, barely even remembering to shut off her Ducati. Her collection of motorcycles was one of the things she loved about her job, but for the first time ever she’d been rethinking her decision to ride home instead of apparating. There was something about the messages Alice had been sending her, that worried her way more than she liked. Alice was never exactly calm, but Jules would take the rambling over the clipped vague messages she was being sent. 

As she reached the front door, she undid her gloves and took off her helmet, leaving them by the door as she walked into the house in search of her wife. “Honey, I’m home,” Jules called out, using her usual joke greeting, as she moved from the foyer and into her living room, not bothering to take off her leathers. Taking in her wife’s nervous appearance, Jules immediately went to her side. “Ali, what’s wrong?” 

[becoming--ali]

Finally the roar of one of Jules’s motorcycles could be heard, Alice rolling her eyes. Of course, no wonder it had taken her so damned long. She hadn’t apparated because she’d gotten on one of those things that would most likely end up being the reason her wife got killed. Continuing to pace until she realized there was a presence beside her, Alice gave a small and nervous smile. “Hey you” She said before leaning up and pressing her lips to Jules’s plump pair.

She wanted to calm her nerves and also, there was the whole part about kissing Jules that would never become tiring for her. After several moments she pulled back, resting her forehead against Jules’s. “I... I have something to tell you.” Honestly, she was doing a shit job of this whole being excited thing but this was Alice they were talking about and she did most everything wrong.