加油吧！

I inherently enjoy learning— for myself

[becominglit]

This morning, I am filled with disappointment at myself. Feeling fearful that I have no content to produce for OHN. #worried.

[becominglit]

Found out that a close friend was also going to raid the philosophy shelf in the library

ah so nice to have someone to start this together

We got influenced!

[becominglit]

needs review!

[becominglit]

Engaging interlocutors are so important. You do that too right God? You came down from heaven to meet with us and engaged us at our level. Father, you still do that today, don’t you?

[becominglit]

I found out that the creeds in the bible were written according to Plato and Aristotle’s beliefs. This means that such secularism has helped with biblical doctrines.

[becominglit]

“You study literature? Your English must be good”

English majors don’t care about good grammar. Written poetry isn’t even grammatically sound. They write how they want it. We just analyse.

- my Bible Study Senior

[becominglit]

Ft. This evening’s skies

I don’t know how to analyse poetry and this is concerning. Father. Teach me please. It falls under my degree. The comments on my essay are always “needs close reading” or “what is the significance”, to which I have no other response but ‘ I really don’t know how’

Also, my endless scrolling is a bane on my mental health. Time to get off the phone 2 hours before bedtime. Goodnight

[becominglit]

not here to excel

Just here to pass

[becominglit]

All the texts I do not know. All the work I do not write. On the day before the exam, I will be prepared. I will not know everything but it will be enough.

My faith is not cheap. I will be prepared because he’ll help me face my fears.

Therefore I do not fear

[becominglit]

“I will make those who are of the synagogue of Satan, who claim to be Jews though they are not, but are liars—I will make them come and fall down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you.”

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Father, help me Not deny Your Name

[becominglit]

拖延散文. 神啊，你一定会帮我减少担心。神啊it’s fear and worry that keeps me away from studying and doing the things I’m supposed to do.

[becominglit]

In a station of the metro

The apparition of these faces in the crowd;

Petals on a wet, black bough.

-Ezra Pound

[somerabbitholes]

14.06 / some tea, evening sun, and the beginnings of essay plans

[becominglit]

Starting on essays is always difficult. It’s for me the most difficult to any assignment and here we have this person romanticising them lol. For this reason of romance, I think that starting on essays can be fun. It’s the start of a new insight, a new train of thought and it leaves the writer a creator—one who strings words and thoughts together. In weaving words coherently, the writer forms a new lens, and curates a fresh view of the subject for the readers to espouse.

[catasters]

[sandersstudies]

Completely unironically this is one of my new favorite pieces of literature

[becominglit]

My grades shall not inhibit the way I study. The pressure shall not inhibit me. My performance is not indicative of my being. So, 放开, the bien grade in French is merely feedback. Let the grades be feedback on my strength but never on who I am. Identity and performance are separate things.

Now, what if they feedback on my grammar and writing? Any criticism on my writing is akin to criticising me. You’re judging me. ouch. What do I do when my work is so closely related to my being? Should I hide my true self away from those judging? Should I improve myself until my flaws are really to the minimal?

I don’t know, father. What my counsellor said is true: I do have an obsession with other people’s judgement.

[becominglit]

There is such a thing as analysing too much. I think there’s a limit to it. My brains are fried from thinking too much.

Tuesdays are a routine of attending the 11.30am class, attempting to join people for lunch, socialising with groups of people, then eating alone. Tuesdays are also days where R goes for class so I have time to myself. Today I studied French for the most part. Walked and bought pasta for dinner, had it in my own room. Slacked. BSF. Slacked. Slacked slacked. It’s 1am. Goodnight

Is there any point in asking so much about life? Why don’t I just be happy in my comfortable circle and make it my reality?

[becominglit]

Words from: to kill a mockingbird

Assuage: make less severe. Assuage my fears of the unknown

Dictum: authoritative announcement. We await Lawerence Wong’s dictum

Taciturn: uncommunicative. My grandfather is a taciturn man. If I ever stay quiet, I would be called silent, not taciturn because I am temperamentally talkative.

Unsullied: not dirty or tarnished. Unsullied reputation, unsullied till marriage (stay pure).

Vapid: dull. Valid paintings, lighting the Olympiad to the risk seeming a little vapid.