Becoming Mrs. CJMSolito

I'm trying because I must.

[becomingmrssolito]

February 3, 2025

Today, I started to re-read the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. It just came randomly into me to come back into reading after I saw Ms. Cheavy's collection of books - it made me question why I haven't read in a long time. So I have this book lying around the sala for the longest time already. So today I chose to pick it up.

This book talks highly about "Identity-Based Habits". In order to achieve good habits that is tailored to this approach, we should start by focusing who we wish to become.

Pondering about this, I have not known what I really wish to become. I worked so hard to become a licensed engineer, and along other licenses associated to my name. Some days I wanted to become a lawyer. But ultimately, I realized, it has been a long-term prayer of mine "to become the woman that God choose to bless C with". I have always asked the Lord to redirect my decisions towards what He would like to be blessed with - many times, I know I failed.

But this book got me thinking THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. To be C's wife. Then I remembered this blog. I started to logged way before my journey to becoming Mrs. CJMS. I am now Mrs. CJMS - but am I really?

Am I the woman the Lord wanted to bless C with now?

Dear Babes,

Today I reaffirm this prayer - I will work hard to achieve (and deserve) this identity. Becoming Mrs. CJMS is more that just having the legal rights to use Solito as my family-name, it is a work-in-progress. To fully become the woman that C is blessed with for the rest of his life and for the family that he is working hard to build.

Little by little in the making,

Mrs. CJMS

[becomingmrssolito]

July 8, 2021

Dear Babes,

Today, I left General Santos City (your Lola and Lolo, Titos and Titas, my friends, my work, my 29years in the same city) to be with Tatay in Cagayan de Oro City. Apart from marrying Tatay, this I believe is my boldest move.

Honestly, I am afraid – this is either going to make us or break us. But full on, I believe in Tatay, his dreams and hopes are now OUR DREAMS AND HOPES.

Hang on there babes, we are one step closer to meeting you.

Your full on house mom,

M.

[becomingmrssolito]

June 28, 2021

It’s been a week since I last talked to C. Got into an argument with him. First real one as husband and wife.

At the end of all hurts, this time there’s no turning ba ks. Only moving forwards.

Choose love and forever.

[becomingmrssolito]

April 24, 2021

Dear Little Solitos,

Today, tatay and I got married.

Remember today,

Nanay.

[becomingmrssolito]

June 16, 2020

It's already 1:50am of June 17, 2020

Dear Babes,

I am sorry, I haven't updated this for a while but I promise I will keep updating for as long as I will remember.

We are halfway through 2020 now and blimey, A LOT HAS HAPPENED!!

Today, Tatay and I bought a new iPhone X 64gb for Php 28,000. You may google about the phone specs.

After long days of discussion and petty arguments, we finally come up to the decision to buy it.

It's a we decision. I emphasize.

So you see, Tatay and I are too different people. We grew up in different circumstances so it is normal that we view things differently. You may have seen or heard us argue a lot and frequently.. but always remember that we while we do debate pettily, our intentions are for the good of both. The way we present the good for both differs in so many ways, but today and always, I vouch to always prioritize to see and understand your Tatay from where his reasons arw coming from. I hope and will work it out that he may see it in me, too.

So you see, I am really happy with the phone. And I can't thank your Tatay enough for helping and leading me to this decision. It is expensive. But this will do me good.

I hope, babes, that when the time comes that you will need and share a decision with someone, respect the other and bear in mind that you came in for their suggestion. That if you dont like their views and opinions, respect still. Control your feelings and emotions that it may not get the best out of you. Afterall, inner peace is the priority.

PS.

I have submitted my application to enroll for Law School yesterday. That was a tough one because again Tatay and I have varied opinions to it. It is actually a major stake I am gambling. But though our views were different, your Tatay still have never made me feel that he support me less.

We are now at a phase where we prepare ourselves to that stage where we start a life together. Everything is crucial because our future together greatly depends on how we choose separately today.

I am taking a huge step in trying to enroll because I want you to know that as early as today, I pray that you grow up and be mindful of your decisions. Yes, you only live once — but that quote doesn't mean that you can live anyway you want. Life is what you make it — please make your todays count for your future.

Always,

Nanay M.

[becomingmrssolito]

Dear C,

I heard this quote today:

"You like because, and you love despite"

You like someone because of all of their qualities. You love someone despite some of their qualities.

But, C, please know that I like you as much as I love you..

M.

[becomingmrssolito]

November 22, 2019

I am losing C. I might lose him today or I must have lost him already.

I hate myself.

[becomingmrssolito]

[becomingmrssolito]

November 18, 2019

The dreaded confirmation.

Dear Future Solitwos (yas!! SoliTWOs because I am thinking that minimum kids we want to have is definitely two.. but not limited to two tho'),

Have I told that Tatay and I is a survivor of long distance relationship?

In 2013, your Tatay graduated before me and he needed to go to Cebu City for his review for the board exam. We were just starting out our relationship this time.. andddd twas so difficult. But we made it through constant texts and phone calls which costed him his shot at being a topnotcher. Yes.. had he spent the hours he spent talking to me on the phone to just studying, he couldve hit the mark. He had the bad reputation there. I am forever sorry for this.

In 2014, after failing to become topnotcher, I have seen your dad so devastated. He dreamed that one and to redeem himself, he decided to pursue a Master's Degree in University of San Carlos - Cebu City. Yes! That means we will be apart from each other but not really because this was the year I also needed to go to Cebu for my review.. so we were together in Cebu for like 6months! But mind you we lived a district apart. I am at the City proper and he is like at the outskirts of Talamban Cebu.. around 30-45mins jeepney ride away. What's worse is that he has class daily or needs to report in the campus daily because it is required in his scholarship and he can't get inside my dorm because of strict rules. So can only see each other on Sundays or if lucky there were weekdays when we sneak our time..

When my review days were done, by January 2015 Tatay returned to Cebu to continue his studies and I had to find work in GenSan.. I ended up in Sarangani Capitol because I don't want to burden my parents if I worked in Cebu and C is there.. they might think of bad scenes and we respect them too much. So I had to stay in GenSan tho' I dreamed of working for bigger companies. I just settled with visiting him in Cebu when we had opportunities or seat sales or when he is allowed to go home..

Tatay finished his Master's Degree in October 2016, and got a job in DOLE Philippines in Polomolok while I am employed in MSU GenSan. Btw, I applied in MSU at the thought that Tatay will pursue a teaching career but he found himself more inclined to working in the industry more than the academe so I had to respect that. So there.. polomolok-gensan love affair. Still, we only get to see each other surely on weekends. Why? Because your dad is very workaholic and dedicated that he goes home late and we can not risk seeing each other and have him travel 2hours to and fro polomolok just to meet up.

In November 2018, Tatay was hired in San Miguel Brewery up to present. But he was hired to be assigned in the Tagoloan Plant. However since the plant is still on construction process by the time he was hired so he stayed in Toril and did duties in the Davao Plant as part of his training. Again, distance. We can only see each other on Sundays since it's his only day off. We had to battle through 3hour bus rides just to meet up.

Now, this weekend it has been confirmed that Tatay is scheduled to go to Tagoloan by next week or before December 2019. This pains me a lot. Babes, it is so difficult to love someone whom you can't see always. But Tatay and I had endured the past years so I guarantee you that we will endure this one again and see you surely in the future.. See this is our goodnight text tonight after spending the weekend together since we anticipate that it is going to be a long time since we can hang out again.

You see, Tatay might not be there on our 7th Anniversary or even Christmas Day and New Year's Day (he might celebrate lonely in Tagaloan in fact). My heart actually bleeds at this thought but know that this text message is more than enough reason to be still and let our love cover for the distance.

He is doing this sacrifice to be away from his life here in Gensan with Family and Friends because he wants our future to be good. Let this comfort you everytime Tatay maybe away or can't attend to us ha..

Ps.

Tatay and Nanay eat out and had a mall date in Abreeza Davao today. Please remember that moments like this should be cherished that's why everytime I almost snap and pick up a fight today, Tatay reminded me not to and I give in because this should be our day to keep and hold on to in store for the rainy and lonely days coming.

Remember to cherish the moments of togetherness,

Nanay M.

[becomingmrssolito]

November 2-7, 2019

Dear Little Solitos,

So I had my first out-of-the-country trip to Singapore and Malaysia. But not with your Dad. A part of me is sad because I always want my firsts to be with him. But there are things that we can't force to happen especially when there's a lot at stake.

(Actually, I am hesitant to go in with this trip because your dad is scheduled to leaving to Tagoloan for maybe the next immediate weekend or the next. He will be assigned in the new SMB plant there.. that is about 8hours drive from GenSan. Another long distance moment for me and him.. we could've used this moment to bond because he might not be around by December on our 7th Anniversary and for Christmas even upto New Year... but he said I should go to this trip because it's already been paid for)

Your dad has always been the busy with his work for he is always a career man. Even before when we are still studying. But his ways are the reason why I love him, and I will always love him for that.

Babes, this letter is actually a headsup. There will be days (or for all the days) when dad can not keep up with all of our family gatherings or even attend to your activities, please don't you ever think that this is because he doesn't prioritise us. He is more than that and he is the otherwise. He loves us and I am sure of that.

More so, know that he always make it up in the best of his ways. Look at this, this is a screenshot of our videocall. He makes it to a point to check out on me even worlds apart. That's your Tatay.

He always does! He may appear too busy to care but in truth he is so selfless that he sacrifices his luxury to relax just to provide for us. He wants the best for you, always. Even before you are born. He has always planned to provide for you - buy you good milk and food, bring you to places, buy you toys, send you to good schools, be able to afford for you.. that's why he is a very hard working man... Your Tatay loves you so much even before you are all conceived and he will do everything he can so that your lives are paved. So, please appreciate instead of looking out for his flaws.

I assure you, he always makes it up.. and all the more he makes up doubled!!

Looking forward for your understanding,

Nanay M.

[becomingmrssolito]

November 1, 2019

A month has passed since my last post.

A lot has happened, but I remembered to post something really special about today.

Dear C,

You made me fall in love with you more today!

Your deep regards towards your family is really exceptional. I felt you were really heavily burdened when you saw your mom's heartbreak over Roy's issues again. I hope everything will get better.

But more so, today we went to Lola Lumen to get the lechon tray but we were greeted by Lola and her uneven cane.. the very reason for cane is to support her upright but the one she is using is "bangian".. I read you right there and then that that cane needs no repair but immediate replacement. The way you rushed to look for a new one considering the shops available in Polomolok is one of the rare moments that I actually saw you been so eager to buy something without searching for reviews online. Lola definitely needs it. I am glad Rose Pharmacy in Gaisano Grand had it.

I definitely heard Lola say (non verbatim): "Ganahan na ako maglakaw lakaw kay may bago ko na tungkod hatag ni Carl Jan".. she sounded so merry. I secretly cried inside. Lola Lumen is very warm and I definitely adore her. Thank you for sharing your Lola with me..

When we were at the cemetery remebering Lolo on Nov. 1, while you were in the quiet talking to him in prayers, I couldn't help but look at you and feel sorry because I have taken away substantial time that you couldve spent with Lolo rather than with me. I know we can't bring back time, but it will forever haunt me knowing that fact. I am sorry.

But what I realized today was the fact that you too are human. That even though you show up as my Superman, you need your Wonderwoman too.. and I hope I could be that to you everyday.. please allow me to.

In love more and always,

M.

PS.

Dear Future CMSolitos,

I pray that you will take it from your dad the affection that he has for the elders. I am not fortunate enough to be cared by my Lolos and Lolas because we grew far from them/theyve died before me. But soon, your Lolo Mario, Lola Tata, Lolo Rodrigo, Lola Cecil and among other grannies around will be there for you surely. So please be always reminded that the biggest part of me and your Tatay C came from our parents and these things we pass to you. Please love and care for them more than you could ever care for us, for I and your Tatay C know that there are a lot of times that we let them down, but we count on you to help and fill that in. Because surely, tho you may not recognize it right away, your Grannies' love for you are doubled their love for us.

Babes, please grow in Love and respect.

Looking forward for your mano,

Nanay M.

[becomingmrssolito]

September 30 - October 3 of 2019

Late post alert.

This week has been really exhausting and exciting at the same time. Birthdaaaays are overloaded in the fam.

September 30 - Gabby's

October 1 - Jam's

October 2 - Papa's

October 3 - Mama's

So we celebrated Gabby's and Jam's Birthdays on Oct 1 at Mcdonalds Lagao. C, being Gabby's Godfather, shouldered for the cakes of the kiddos.

The day was so busy. Party organizing for the family has always been easier when Ate is around but this time she's in SG so the task is turned over to me. C also was not able to attend because it's weekday and there's no way he is able to take a leave at work.

Everything went well and succesfull tho'.. We made the kids happy as well as the parents.

I didn't even had the chance to have a decent photo with myself.

After the event, I got to call C and pondered with him regarding this birthday party. I never really realized that organizing birthdays for the kids are annual things that parents are required to do. So one day, to our future baby solitos, I gotta do this yearly too! Wow, I felt excitement there! But then, for the birthday party my brother spent around Php 20,000. That's a lot of money already. So I thought, when C and I shall be married, we have to make it a habit to include a "birthday savings" in our family expenses so that we don't get overwhelmed by the expenses we have to incur on these memorable dates.

October 2, 2019

SURPRISE 60th BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION FOR PAPA (and a side celebration for Mama too)

We organized this to celebrate the Senior Citizen becoming of papa. So we invited a lot of people and friends that Papa had been with since his Fish Car days.. and I have never seen my father got drunk and happy ever before! I am so glad that everything has paid off very well. Again, C was not able to attend.

But I think the highlight of everything here is "when the wine is in, the truth is out".. Papa couldn't help but utter words of pride about the achievement of us his children. And that made me really cry on the insides since papa is really not the vocal type of a man. He even cited how proud he is that he is sure that one day I will do good in life too especially since I picked a guy like C. There is noooo more assuring words than hearing this, that I have my Father's blessing when it comes to marrying C.

October 3, 2019

Unexpected birthday extension for Mama.

I really thought we were only having a simple family dinner but then a lot of visitors still came and we had to throw another buffet! A simpler one but a decent one. I was not even able to attend and came home late because my boss was rushed to the ER and we had to attend to him. Too good, he got discharged right away and I was able to come home. Surprisingly, C was on his way to GenSan!! I really felt overwhelmed by this. He made a very huge effort to see my mom on her birthday. Well, Mama has always been supportive of Me and C, Mama really likes him even from the very beginning so it's really nice of C to make this big effort. I think that as future Mr and Mrs Solito, we should make it a habit too that birthdays really are special and we have to make our bests to attend family birthdays and gatherings because it's really important and worth remembering.

HOWEVER, this night ended really badly. C and I caught a really big fight. I got too much overwhelmed with Cs presence and actually wanted more of his time which apparenty he cant give since he need to be back in Davao the earliest he can get for the next day work (also it is worth noting that he made it to Mamas birthday with a bad flu). I snapped he snapped, we almost broke up, but I will always fight for my position in his life. I am never giving up on us.

OVERALL, this was a week long realization and a sneak peak of a future with C and dealing with our families..

[becomingmrssolito]

1st Week of October 2019

A very full week.

I will post when I can and I've already breathed some fresh vibes.

M.

[becomingmrssolito]

September 25, 2019.

A random text from C.

He went out for some beer with his Beermen Team.

I am not comfortable about this because their drinking has been habitual already.

But I gotta trust C here.

Anyways, after a long call of explanation and "I want a good bye on this call", he texted me this.

Maybe he's just drunk. Or whatever.

[becomingmrssolito]

Today, C and I watched One Piece Stampede. Many times I get to decide what film to watch on our movie dates, this is one of the rare times wherein he'd specifically named a title.. Although at first I know he was hesitant to invite me to the cinema because it will cost us two hours (we have not seen each other for two weeks and we only have around 6hours left of the Sunday to spend for each other alone), I am pretty aware that he has been following One Piece Anime and Manga so I obliged watching the Film eventhough it's hard for me to cope with the story and the characters. But I don't mind anyways. What's important is that I can see that he is actually enjoying the movie and that's more than enough reason to stay with him the whole time there. 'Twas worth it.

Another thing. I happen to see a Facebook Status of Monsour with Edward and MJ dining and catching up at Moy's house. I jokingly expressed jealousy over not inviting me and Moy's answer was "[Sunday] time niyo ni Carl diba?".. that left me speechless and made me appreciate Moy so much for remembering this little detail. He may not be aware of it but he made me realize to always prioritize making the most of the time that C and I could spend for each other.

We ended tonight with a BBQ and Beer at Kuya's house and a well-deserved massage..

Ps.

C apologised again about the "delay" in our timeline. He always thinks that we are getting behind our plans - that we are 27 already and 30 is supposedly the deadline.

Well. C,

Relax. Our timing is just right. Remember that if the question is "will I marry you?", the answer will always be a "yes".. So, it's only a matter of "when?". But don't worry because I will never get tired of waiting for you, over and over again..

Looking forward to becoming Mrs. CJMSolito,

M.

[becomingmrssolito]

C and I had a fight again. This time, 'twas because I watched Parokya ni Edgar live for Tuna Fest 2019.

He didn't like the idea that I keep long nights straight in a row since my platelet has gone down to 134 this week. So I snapped. He snapped. But Friday night he ended up calling, asking me to come over to Toril tho' I already planned of going anyways.

So we had some patching up and that was one weekend to remember. This was the very first time he asked me to do his laundry. I don't usually do this chore, so it was difficult. From trying the laundromat machine for the first time to befriending the laundry assistant to getting scolded because I should've had his pants washed too.. to tidying up his room and ironing his work clothes. This was a glimpse of my everyday once I become C's wife. And I like it.. I like being of service to him.

Soooo, when we are at GenSan, had to run some chores. We got held up a bit due to a flat tire, but thankfully C was driving and he allowed himself to get dirty in inflating the rears. Watching him do the work firsthand actually made me fall for him again over.. I remembered the uniforms I washed, so full of dirt which indicates he really did hard labor - all just to earn for us. I couldn't be more sure that C is the man I want to marry. His dreams, hopes, aspirations and ways are all I could ever ask of.. and I have 'em all in one man.

Dear C,

Please don't get tired of us.

In love more today and Always,

M.

[becomingmrssolito]

C.

I just got home from celebrating Dale's birthday.

Somewhere along the talks of the barkada we happened to talk about who's getting married soon. Everyone pointed at me. I honestly got excited.

The thought of wearing white, walking down the aisle, you waiting at the altar, us exchanging vows, going home to each other, keeping our house, raising the kids, growing old together.. what more could I ask for?

I am really looking forward to having my dreams and fantasies become real with you. I pray that our perfect timing will come soon.

Ps.

Mama Kim, though the promise that she will provide the wedding gown of any of her daughters get married and not pregnant still holds, wishes to be just a plain guest in the ceremony. I think she deserves to just witness and not be stressed on this day because afterall, I am seeing that our wedding will be a celebration of our love by thanking our family and friends who are there to support (and have supported us) along the way. This event shall not be only about us.. but mostly to begin another journey with everyone blessing us. So 1 table surely goes to Mama Kim and the Girinual Family. Also, Monsour said he bet he will cry if he sees me in white.

Excited-to-be-your-bride,

M.