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@becthroughthelookingglass
forgive the version of you that didn’t know any better
forgive the version of yourself that knew better but did it anyway. forgive every version of yourself. we are constantly learning from our mistakes.
forgive the version of you that didn’t know what to do and could not have foreseen what the right choice was, if there even was one. forgive the version of you that made a choice and regretted it.
other people’s inability to love you does not reflect how lovable you are. it says something about their emotional availability, not your value.
SAY IT LOUDER
other people’s inability to love you does not reflect how lovable you are. it says something about their emotional availability, not your value.
📢
i have been saying for literal years professionally and in my ordinary life that queer and trans people need to form alliances with mad people bc our mutual pathologization is genuinely dangerous but nearly everyone i have worked with has been like meh well its not like trans people can be hurt now bc the diagnosis in the dsm is just gender dysphoria. i cannot stress how dangerous pathologization has been and always will be to literally everyone who has the misfortune of coming under the purview of psychiatry
As a lesbian psych survivor, the second time when I was admitted at 21, I experienced a lot of homophobia from staff but of course homosexuality isn't a mental disorder anymore and they aren't supposed to discriminate so they never say that's what it is. But that doesn't mean there isn't a queerphobic systemic bias in the system still to this day.
Absolutely—there’s so much evidence that proves there is systemic queerphobia within the psy-disciplines & their accompanying institutions ([w]righting women: constructions of gender, sexuality and race in the psychiatric chart by Andrea Daley, Lucy Costa and Lori Ross is a great resource that confirms those experiences).
Part of my interest in this topic actually stems specifically from the history of queer and trans pathologization and how psychiatric labels for queer and trans identity has changed over time. For example, a lot of people believe that the homosexuality diagnosis was formally declassified in 1973 (I think) but it’s actually changed hands several times under labels like ego-dystonic homosexuality, and sexual orientation disturbance disorder. The fact that these diagnoses can be altered in such a way that allows them to remain within the boss text psych workers use to make life-altering decisions for people in their care or detention, needs to be challenged. It is so beyond important that people find solidarity with others experiencing psychiatric oppression.
Thank you so much!! And I totally agree psych solidarity is incredibly powerful and important!, especially for queer people!
Thanks for the resource too! I'll look it up! I did sociology essay on conversion therapy a few years ago and I when I was doing research, I remember learning a bit about the history of homosexuality being declassified and I remember learning a bit about the way it turned into other diagnoses since then like I remember one was to do with being distressed by you're own homosexuality or something?
I've heard that queer people are more likely to be diagnosed with BPD too. So it's not explicitly a diagnosis for but like there seems to be a bias there. I've heard some stories from people saying they saw "homosexual tendencies" in their psychiatrists bpd diagnosis notes.
During the admission when I got my bpd diagnosis, it was also the same admission when I experienced a lot of subtle homophobia and it was also during a time I was in a queer situationship with a friend and idk I don't think those things were coincidences.
"You say you would die for your kids, but you won't even go to therapy for your kids! Guess you don't really love your kids! Checkmate!"
Okay, here's the logical flaw here: When people say "I would die for my kids," the usual unspoken, implied second part of that statement is the conditional "instead of their dying" or "if the alternative is their dying."
The parent, in this hypothetical, is saying "I would jump in front of a bullet for my kids. I would run into a burning building to rescue my kids. I would jump into a storming ocean to rescue my kids. I would willingly risk or sacrifice my life to save my children's lives."
And in a parallel situation with parallel stakes -- if, for example, a kidnapper had my (as yet hypothetical-future) child at gunpoint and said "Submit to therapy or the kid gets it" -- then yes, absolutely, I would submit to therapy. I would smile and nod and repeat the mantras and talk about my locus of control and agree that I am ultimately responsible for my health and think positive and have an attitude of gratitude and promise to work on my dopamine addiction and turn off my critical thinking about what an incoherent concept that is. Sure. I would make that sacrifice to save my child's life.
But is that the scenario you're talking about?
Look, I'm not being obtuse. I know what you're going for. What you're going for is "People say that they'll risk or sacrifice their lives in a big dramatic way for people they love, that will probably never actually come up, but they won't do more basic, simple things for people they love."
Which, sure. I've also heard "You say you would die for your partner, but you won't do the dishes for your partner."
But the difference between that and the "therapy" example is that doing the dishes for your partner actually materially benefits your partner in fairly obvious ways. If you do the dishes for your partner, your partner has clean dishes. Your partner is less at risk of infection from eating off dirty dishes. Your partner has the free time that they would otherwise have spent washing dishes.
Conversely, parents' "going to therapy" is just... assumed, by no actual coherent mechanism, to intangibly benefit children... somehow... for some reason... how dare you question that? Do you hate children?
And. Like. I admit that part of my Reflex here in seeing these Takes from pro-youthlib people is that I genuinely don't understand how "pro-youthlib, pro-therapy" is an ideological position anyone arrives at. To me, youth liberation and mad liberation, family abolition and psych abolition, are so inextricable that I'm baffled by how people are agreeing with only half of that. Sometimes I see antipsych advocates say things like "Psychiatry is bad because it treats mad/neurodivergent adults like children" with nary a followup thought about how we treat children, but somehow the reverse is weirder to me -- it's wrong to treat children the way we do, but it's good and correct to treat mad/neurodivergent adults that way. How??
Book reviews for my recent stint of antipsych/mad rights nonfiction books. Half of these came as recommendations from a tumblr post that I wish I could link but is unfindable now because tumblr search :(
On Our Own: Patient-Controlled Alternatives to the Mental Health System by Judi Chamberlin is and may forever be the most impactful thing I have read in my entire life. If you're a psychiatric survivor and you've never felt understood in that subject matter, or feel like you've never been able to put words to what made it so horrible, or feel like it has drained all the optimism you had for the world, read this book. It was exactly what I needed to find after all these years. It's from the 1970s and much of the later chapters is spent on case studies of specific alternatives that existed at the time, which I did read in full and still gained some important perspective from but they hit nowhere near as hard as the beginning of the book. Chapter 1 (a beginner friendly introduction to the concept of mad liberation), Chapter 2 (the story of Chamberlin's lived experience in the mental health system), and the introduction written for the 1999 re-print (a super quick overview of what happened in mad liberation between 1978 and the end of the millennium, as well as putting the book into historical context) are really where it's at. I think absolutely everyone, psych abolitionist and otherwise, should read those parts and then decide for themselves whether to keep reading if they're still interested. At my phone's font size that is less than 90 pages.
The irony of accusing a group of mostly disabled abuse survivors who did not get adequate health care (anti psych advocates) that they simply just want to take away mental health care from other disabled folks (because they talk about the ways that they suffered at the hands of people who claimed to care for them) is not lost on me.
The discussion about having phones in psych wards isnt about patients wanting entertainment.
If people in usual hospitals can have their phones then people in psychiatric hospitals should be able to have them too. Everytime I was abused I couldnt call for help. I couldnt reach my friends for over a month to tell them where I am. When I asked about it, the staff either said stuff like "one girl ten years ago posted a picture of another girl so now we forbid any use in any way forever and for everybody" or "we just want to keep you safe from the outer world and its news." The longer you think about the second statement the crazier it gets btw.
Did the statments below happen in Stranger Things - or do they happen in real life psych wards?
Children being held and then forcibly sedated
Children being brought to facilitys while nobody tells them why
Children being held captive in abusive facilitys
Children being restrained to beds
Children having to sleep in white rooms with no furniture or toys or contact to the outer world
Correct! All of those things happened to Eleven or the other kids in Stranger Things and to me and my friends in real life psych wards. If dystopian worlds hit close to home, you know the system needs to change.
"Currently, even those who embrace a queer politic in other respects can be deeply committed to the medicalization of madness, to the point where it can be perceived as offensive to explore other ways of thinking and being. Even within queer and trans communities, structural critiques of the psy complex can be misconstrued as individualizing attacks on the self-identification of those who embrace a mental illness identity or medical responses to distress. This is not to suggest a false binary of being either for or against medicalized models of distress; the reality is much more complex and nuanced. Rather, my point is that psychocentric (Rimke, 2016) ways of thinking have become firmly entrenched within queer and trans communities, sometimes leading to resistance to critiques of the biomedical model and a mad-queer-trans lens, or analytic."
Merrick D. Pilling, Queer and Trans Madness: Struggles for Social Justice (2021), p. 44.
as someone concerned with mad liberation i see a lot of well-meaning people trying to argue against using "narcissisim" as an insult, defending it as a diagnosis and thus a category of disability. and it's just so deeply liberal and ass-backwards. narcissisim is an insult. the diagnosis is an insult. they haven't bastardized a medical condition, they've medicalized a term of abuse. they don't like you and want to hurt you because you're different and that's scary.
the term predates the medicalized disorder by thousands of years. ablism is so deeply ingrained and normalized, you aren't going to be able to disabuse people of these connotations and turn "narcissistic" into a neutral, clinical term, if there could be such a thing in psychology.
i don't oppose the prospect of like, reclaiming personality disorder labels as a praxis, but that's cripplepunk. it's operating outside the neoliberal hegemony. if you're doing it without understanding the power dynamics at play, you're gonna end up with a shallow dead-end idpol where you aren't equipped to navigate the ablism that's actually happening. you're trying to use the tools of the master (respectability and protected status.) but you can't wield them without sufficient privilege, and you've already been unpersoned.
i dont think we should be telling people who were forcibly medicated as children to take more meds. I think thats incredibly violent. and also upsetting and useless.
i think all the time about 2010s feminism's thing about how "no means no", not "convince me" or "force me" or "do it to me anyway" or "debate me" or "maybe later" and so on and so on, cause thats literally psychiatry. as a mental health patient, my "no" means all of those things. make me, force me, argue with me, do it to me anyway. the fact that i said "no" means it has to be done to me even more. psych professional/rapist parallels. i just dont know i need/want it. its so sick. bodily autonomy has to be absolute in all societal contexts or the violation will continue.
reblog to give your mutuals a djungelskog
this has already been happening, but/and:
people are going to be sent to psych wards and disappear. fully gone, no records, no way to contact, no way to know what happened or where they are or if they’re still alive
do not call the cops on your friends. now more than ever
i can’t tell you what is best for your safety if you’re considering inpatient. but i can say that people are going to be disappeared and experimented on in these institutions in a ramped up way and we don’t know how or when it will start happening
just that it has been happening forever already, and that it will start impacting more and more populations now
I've seen basically two response arguments to Kennedy's slurs about autistic people being unable to pay taxes, have a job, play baseball, go on a date, write a poem, or use the toilet.
Both the responses are good and necessary, but I think they're incomplete. The two response arguments are essentially: 1. "That's not true, there are plenty of autistic people who have jobs and go on dates and play baseball," and 2. (largely in response to 1.) "Autistic people deserve acceptance and dignity even if they can't pay taxes or write poetry or use the toilet; people's value isn't determined by their abilities or productivity."
And, again, both of these responses are true and good and necessary. But what I'm not seeing people talk about enough is why Kennedy listed those specific skills, and what he's trying to imply with them. Because, see, when people are reduced to a dehumanized stereotype, "Not everyone is like that dehumanized stereotype" isn't sufficient, and neither is "Even people who are like that dehumanized stereotype deserve respect." The problem is the dehumanization. So let's look at the list of things we supposedly can't do, which Kennedy is using to conjure an image of "Inhuman Unthinking Blob."
Having a job. This is the big one. In American culture, your value, your personhood, is solely dependent on Your Job. Are you a valuable cog in the capitalist machine, or are you a cheap cog in the capitalist machine, or are you so worthless you're not even in the capitalist machine, and therefore have no reason to be alive? So it's good and necessary and important to spell out "A person doesn't have to have a job to be a person with dignity and rights." But there's a larger question out there, which is: What, exactly, constitutes "a job"? Yes, absolutely, everyone should have dignity and rights (and material needs like guaranteed housing, food, and consensual healthcare). But also, most disabled people, including ""severely"" disabled people, can and do perform productive labor benefiting their communities. It's just often labor that capitalist society doesn't classify as "a job," like caregiving, studying, or making art. It's important to say that people shouldn't need "a job" in order to deserve rights or resources. It's also important to point out that disabled people have been doing labor this whole time, just without the dignity, rights, or pay associated with "a job." In a socialist utopia where everyone had their material needs guaranteed, labor would still be done, and a lot of it would still be done by disabled people. That's important. Disabled people's contributions to society matter. And erasing that is something ableists do on purpose -- excluding the labor done by disabled people from the category of "job" is integral to excluding disabled people from the category of "productive" and thus the category "worthy of life."
Paying taxes. This is the most transparently ridiculous one, because absolutely everybody in the U.S. pays taxes. Poor people pay taxes (too much). Rich people pay taxes (nowhere near enough). Undocumented immigrants pay taxes. You buy a Snickers? It's priced $1.79 but you pay $1.92. That's a tax. You live somewhere? You're paying property taxes. You rent your home? How do you think your landlord pays their property taxes? From your rent. You're paying property taxes. You have a crappy underpaid minimum wage job? You're paying FICA. Everybody pays taxes. What Kennedy probably means to imply is "They're too poor to owe federal income taxes." Politicians love pretending that "taxes" means "federal income taxes" so they can claim to "lower taxes" while shifting the tax burden somewhere else (cf. Trump's attempt to claim that tariffs aren't taxes). And. And also. There's another subtle implication in there, that I see a lot from parents and ableists. Because of the deep intersection of ableism and classism, Kennedy is implying "They're too poor to owe federal income taxes" (therefore they're inferior) but also "They're not smart enough to do something complicated like file a tax return." When ableists talk about disabled people who "can't take care of themselves" or specifically "can't pay their bills" or "can't pay taxes," they're intentionally trying to conflate an economic state (having enough money to pay bills/taxes) with a cognitive ability (having the skills/executive function to manage money, budget, pay bills on time, or file a tax return). Kennedy probably doesn't file his own tax return either. I'm sure he has an accountant for that. Presumed-neurotypical people are allowed to do that. The world is full of rich people who lack executive function or money-management skills, whose wealth insulates them from the consequences of that, because they can either afford to just lose money, or they can afford to hire someone to handle it for them. The world is also full of poor people for whom one missed payment has ruined them. The world is also full of disabled people for whom one missed payment has gotten them declared mentally incompetent, institutionalized, or placed under guardianship -- by abled family members who probably hire an accountant to manage their own money. Again, all this is deliberate. Kennedy and other ableists/classists/eugenicsts are intentionally trying to conflate "lacks money," "lacks money management abilities/skills," and "lacks General Intelligence" as one more-or-less interchangeable phenomenon (Note: If you've read this far and haven't figured out my angle yet: There is no such thing as "General Intelligence" and the very concept is harmful).
Write a poem. Again, this is deliberately ambiguous wording -- pretty much anyone can write a poem, including people who can't write or speak. Have you ever expressed an idea in which the words you used had an additional meaning on top of their literal meaning? Boom, you can write a poem. Maybe not a good one. But Kennedy didn't say that autistic people's poetry is bad -- plenty of neurotypical people's poetry is bad too, after all. There is a somewhat positive stereotype floating around that neurodivergent people are creative. We may be tragic, burdens on society, our parents' heartbreak, worthless, stupid, subhuman, but at least we're creative. Probably due to being more animal-like, "closer to nature." And neurobigots like Kennedy absolutely hate this stereotype. No matter how much dehumanization the "positive" stereotype is rooted in, we cannot have any positive attributes at all. They must never let us forget that we have no redeeming value whatsoever. We must be rendered as completely lacking in thought, feelings, expression, and creation. I'm seeing some echos of 18th century racism, too -- a common belief among 18th century white Europeans was that even if non-Europeans were superficially clever, they could produce no "higher culture," no great art or poetry or literature, because they were intrinsically a lower tier of human. This seems to be the root of Kennedy's implication -- not that autistic people "can't" write poetry (anyone can), or that autistic people are bad at writing poetry (most beginners are), but that an autistic person's creative output cannot constitute true poetry, true "high culture," because it comes from an inferior mind.
Play baseball. This is an especially slippery one, because like writing poetry, it's a learned skill with gradations of skill level, not an intrinsic ability that someone does or doesn't have. Most autistic people aren't pro-level baseball players, but neither are most allistic people. And again, Kennedy didn't say "Autistic people are bad at baseball." He said that we would never play baseball. "Has ever played or will ever play baseball" is such a ridiculously low bar that even I can meet it. Technically speaking, I can play baseball. I have played baseball, in school gym class. I know how! You sit there minding your business until it's your turn to stand up, and then someone hands you a bat, and then someone throws a ball, and you're supposed to try to hit the ball with the bat, and in theory, after you fail three times, you're supposed to be allowed to sit back down again and go back to imagining wild self-insert fanfic, but the coach gives you "extra tries" out of pity, so you have to humiliate yourself with five or six attempts instead of three. Yeah. I can play baseball. So what's Kennedy going for with this one? Baseball in the U.S. is associated with two things: American identity, and idyllic midcentury childhood. If autistic people can't participate in America's Pastime, can we really even be Americans? Do we really count as citizens? I don't think Kennedy is personally, ideologically all that committed to xenophobia himself; he's just hitched his wagon to a deeply xenophobic administration because they indulge his medical conspiracy theories. But he knows how to align his goals to the administration's. He knows that his boss is deeply committed to narrowing and restricting who counts as "an American," who's not really part of "our culture," who's not really a part of baseball and hot dogs and the Fourth of July, if you know what I mean. Okay, okay. Maybe I'm reaching with this one. But I'm definitely not reaching with the other association he's going for: Idyllic Midcentury Childhood. All kids play baseball. By which I mean, all boys play baseball. I'm not sure Kennedy knows that girls can play it too, or that he cares. The point is, baseball is part of childhood, and autistic people are never children. We don't play, we don't learn, we don't go through developmental stages, we're just forever Mindless Blobs. That's why things that would be considered cruelty if done to neurotypical children aren't cruelty when they're done to us. We're not really children. We never become adults, either -- how can we, if we don't go through childhood first? You can tell we're subhuman because we don't go through the universal experiences of Real People Life.
Go on a date. Okay. This one. This is the one where I get actively angry at the well-meaning, "inclusive" responses. "Just because an autistic person has high support needs and can't do XYZ doesn't mean --" no. Stop right there. There is no such thing as a disabled person who "can't" date. There is no impairment or disability that prevents someone from dating. There are people -- autistic and otherwise, disabled and otherwise -- who for whatever reason, choose not to pursue dating. Maybe they're aromantic, maybe they're loners, maybe they have religious objections, maybe dating just isn't something they're interested in. Fine. That's their choice. But there is no such thing as a disabled person who "can't" date. There is no such thing as a disability that renders people incapable of romantic relationships. There is no such fucking thing as being "too disabled" or "too severe" or "too profound" or "too high support needs" to have a romantic relationship if two or more people want one. That is not a thing that exists. That is a thing ableists made up. There is no such thing as an autistic person who "can't" go on a date. There are autistic people who aren't allowed to go on dates, because their family or caregivers control them, infantilize them, restrict their freedoms, or treat them as mindless blobs. But all disabled people (yes, all) can pursue romantic relationships. All disabled people (yes, all) deserve the human right to pursue romantic relationships if they choose to. With other disabled people. With abled people. With whomever. And yeah, dating doesn't necessarily have to be romantic or sexual, but let me be perfectly clear -- disabled people, autistic people, "high support needs" autistic people have a right to have sex, too. A multiply disabled autistic person who needs 24/7 assistance deserves the absolute, unreserved right to have wild, kinky, balls-to-the-wall, whole-chicken sex with the entire starting lineup of the Detroit Lions, if xe so chooses to, and if said Lions are on board. We should not accept the premise that there is any such thing as a disabled person who "can't" go on a date.
Use a toilet without assistance. This is the Kennedy playbook trump card, but unlike some of the other claims, this one is actually true. There's no such thing as a disabled person who "can't" date, but yes, there are in fact plenty of disabled people, including autistic people, who need help with using the toilet. So what's Kennedy going for here? He's trying to evoke two things: Disgust and infantilization. We have a visceral disgust around excretory functions. Needing to eliminate waste reminds us that we're animals made of meat, not the higher intellectual beings we pretend to be. Everyone poops. So we do it in private, we describe it with euphemisms, and if someone needs help with it, well, they're not keeping up their end of the social compact to collectively pretend we're not animals with animal bodily functions. So people who need assistance with the waste process are disgusting, subhuman, a violation of imagined purity. And of course, they're babies. Babies wear diapers. Babies need help using the toilet. So an older child or adult who needs diapers or toileting help is basically a big baby. We have entire election cycles centered on "Which candidate has incontinence issues?" as a proxy for "Which candidate is a big baby unfit to lead?" as though someone's bladder leakage has any bearing on their wisdom or policy positions. And of course, since people who need help with toileting Are Babies, we're meant to assume that they can't do any of those other things, either. They can't even use the toilet, let alone write poetry or go on a date. In reality, plenty of people who need toileting help are writing poetry and going on dates. One of the biggest misconceptions that holds disabled people back from education or, in some cases, from basic communication, is this myth of linear "developmental stages" -- that if someone isn't "smart enough" to master an "easier/earlier" skill, then they can't possibly be "smart enough" to master a completely unrelated skill that some abled person thinks of as "more advanced." This is literally the primary barrier to communication access for speech-disabled people, and the reason nonspeaking people who type to communicate are so often disbelieved -- if someone isn't "smart enough" to master a "baby skill" like talking, they can't possibly be "smart enough" to read and write! Nevermind that for many speech disabled people, reading and writing are much easier than speaking. And if someone isn't "smart enough" to use the toilet unassisted, they can't possibly learn any advanced topics at all, because they must the "mind of a baby." (The only people with the minds of babies are babies. A 50 year old with incontinence has the mind of a 50 year old.)
So. To sum up: Kennedy is intentionally evoking the concept of autistic people as The Abject Unthinking, and neither "Plenty of autistic people can do those things he says we can't do" nor "Disabled people deserve respect and dignity even if they can't do those things" fully addresses the dehumanization he's trying to conjure. Maybe I'm just jaded, too, about calls for "respect and dignity" for disabled people that don't challenge the concept of The Abject Unthinking. I see behavioral therapists, institution staff, and parents pursuing adult guardianship talking about "respect and dignity." I see articles about how to restrain and forcibly drug people with "respect and dignity." Ableists literally murder disabled people in cold blood in the name of "respect and dignity." I don't know what "respect and dignity" means to these people, but it's sure not synonymous with "bodily autonomy" or "civil rights." By this point, I consider "respect and dignity" about as meaningful as "thoughts and prayers." All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, express themselves. All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, make their own decisions about their own bodies. All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, participate in their communities. All disabled people can, and deserve the right to, pursue relationships with other people of their choice.
isnt it wild how when i started living my life by the therapy doctrines that i became 200% more vulnerable to abuse? hm..... "nothing is ever bad or dangerous you are simply insane and must stop Perceiving red flags" is endangerment. ow.