Welcome to my twisted mind

call me beef, any pronouns, 27

[kushblazer666]

[snototter]

Green pond frogs (Euphlyctis hexadactylus) perch on an Asiatic water buffalo (Bubalus bubalis) in Kumana National Park, Sri Lanka

by Gary Stephenson

[beef-large]

Everyone say Happy Birthday to Michael

[herpsandbirds]

Eastern Spadefoot (Scaphiopus holbrooki), family Scaphiopodidae, Alabama, USA

photograph by Justin Doll

[mellifexfarm]

behold my ugly

[waywardwarren]

I painted your ugly

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

honestly for me this situation isnt drawing a single bead of sweat first i grab the tiger's jaw with both hands and pry it open, quickly bandaging the wounds i received (didn't hit anything important) and pushing the tiger away while simultaneously falling into my grizzly bear stance and watching as the tiger scurries away with its tail betweens its legs at the sight of my massive shoulder humps. i roar defiantly and catch three dozen salmon at the river

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

I'd summon twin scythes

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

really cool

[dickmaster]

Cunty little thing isnt it

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[pukicho]

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

[pukicho]

[pukicho]

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[vikhytherm]

goodbye chiikawa

oil paint on board, 2026

[tics-deactivated20201202]

POV u are a tasty little cheese

[catbreon-draws]

If you close your eyes right before the rat hits, your brain will think that you have died. some people find calmness in this.

[stupidpetface]

[mrsterlingeverything]

Lets let friday get us pregnant and have a baby that lasts the whole weekend

[dorothylarouge]

[lakemojave]

Happy Friday afternoon! 😁☺️ We've done it! 😎😌 We've got to the end of the week ‼️✅️ We've locked 🔒 up ⬆️ our warehouse 🚚 we've parked ⛲️♿️ up our vans 🚐 we have logged off ❌️ our computers 💻 and I've quickly 🏃‍♂️ popped 🫧 into my local favorite pub 🍻🇬🇧 for a cheeky pint of beer ☺️🍺 and look 😳🔎 a little bit of 🤏 early dinner 🍴😋 because the wife 👰‍♀ I love her dearly 🥰❤️ but her cooking 🍳👩‍🍳 ain't that great 🙅‍♂️🤢 and we've got 😮 a stunning ✨️ beef and ale pie 🥧🍮 a bitofmashedpotatoes 🥔🧈 baked beans 🫘 in a pot 🫕 which I think 💭 is wrong 😤 but it's happeninganyway 🤷‍♂️ and of course a bit of gravy 🥣🍲 and you know me 😉 I never look 🚫👀 when I pour 🙈🫗 because I am ☝️‼️ the absolute govnah 💂‍♂️🧑‍💼 And listen goiuys 👂 hope you had a great week 😘⌚️ keep on smashin' life 💥😮 keep givin' it a hundred 💯 and ten 🔟 per cent 🔣 and don't go home 🏠 until you're proud ✌️😌 And listen 🎧🙉 cheers to you all 🏅🎆 You deserve it 😉 A'bosh! ⁉️

[sacred-portal]

[tummydrummer-deactivated2014022]

me nd my pirate girlfriend

[holdin hands]

me: bb ur hands r so cold

her: that me hook