Field Trips for the Royally Fucked Up
Ok so, spoiler alert: I’m a mess right now. My PTSD sucks, triggers are everywhere, I have panic attacks checking my email, I’m ridiculously depressed, I no longer know how to talk to people without running to hide in the bathroom every ten minutes.
Basically, if I could, I would stay in my bed all day every day.
But as compelled as I am to do just that every day, I also know that my life is a lot more bearable when I take care of myself. Part of that is sitting in bed when I need to, but part of it is also feeling like I have some sort of a schedule. Doing productive things. And part of it is experiencing things like AIR and SUNLIGHT and SOCIETY.
But at the same time, I find that I really don’t want to do the same things that most people my age do. Anything that costs money is almost always off the table, since I’m not currently cleared to work. I hate parties at the moment. I can’t drink because with the number of narcotics and stabilizers and antidepressants I’m currently on, I’d be dead in minutes. Movie theaters are too dark and they freak me out. Concerts are too crowded. Basically there are too many people or triggers anywhere a normal twenty year old would ever want to go.
So this is my list of PTSDay Trips. These are all the nice calm relaxing places I go when I know I need to take myself outside and I want to have an actual good time doing it. If you have anxiety or depression or anything else that makes the good times funky, then maybe try some out if they sound good yeah? :)
Go to Petco and just park yourself in front of a fish tank or some ferrets and watch the little guys do their thing. It’s like the zoo but cheap and adorable and if you make a Disney face they’ll almost always let you hold some of them (not the fish obviously) (don’t hold the fish)
Similarly, volunteer to walk dogs or something at an animal shelter because dogs are just fucking easier to interact with and you can be altruistic without having to deal with/talk to/make eye contact with humans
As far as humans go, sometimes the smaller ones are ok. So if smallish humans happen to be your thing, volunteering at a preschool or a daycare center can be nice. The tiny humans are super easy to explain things to and haven’t learned awkward social conventions yet so you can just sit down next to them and beat some play doh to death or paint a ridiculous picture and ask for their opinions on it or just listen to them talk about dinosaurs, because that is literally the most relaxing thing ever
Go to the library and huddle up in a corner somewhere with no one around. People literally can’t talk above a whisper in a library and it’s the social etiquette not to bother you or ask questions. If you’re like me and have weird depression days where you feel juvenile and can’t focus enough to read adult books, go chill out in the children’s section. Read choose your own adventure books as a safe and non stressful way of ACTUALLY HAVING ADVENTURES. Reread the entire young adult section and cry over some John Green. Reread Series of Unfortunate Events or Goosebumps or Boxcar Children or whatever the hell else you read when you were younger. Reread Harry Potter for the billionth time. The great thing about children’s books is they’re overwhelmingly more trigger free than other books.
Go to one of those shops where they literally train their employees to be relaxing and you can get free samples. Teavana and Godiva are two of my favorites. Especially Teavana. I just go in and try all the tea and listen to them talk about it. If like me, you’re worried about the weirdly overwhelming guilt you get when they try to sell you something, you can walk in and either say “I’m just in to buy a cup of tea but I’m not sure what to get” if you want to spend the money, or “I don’t have anything on me at the moment but I’m looking for a tea suggestion so I can tell my mum what I want for my birthday” or whatever. Or maybe that’s just me and you’re all currently judging me. Either way, it’s a nice time.
Do that same thing but at Yankee Candle, and just fucking smell all the candles until you find the best one. Then tell me what it is and I’ll tell you if you’re right, because there are in fact right answers :P
Go to the beach when it’s raining or at a weird time of day (like for sunrises or nights) or just find a beach that isn’t very crowded. Stretch out and read a book in the sun or run around in the waves like a little kid (my personal favorite). Bring takeout or grab a bunch of yummy-looking stuff from a grocery store for a spontaneous picnic. Smell all the good smelling stuff and listen to the waves and squish the sand around.
Pretend to be a lemonade critic. Drive or ride around the neighborhood on really hot days and visit all the kids lemonade stands, and then find the best one and spend a couple bucks buying like six glasses of lemonade and watch as their day is totally made
Go to Supercuts or some random cheap hair place and have them just wash your hair. You can even explain to them in advance if you make an appointment that you have anxiety (or if you’re feeling particularly stigmatized that day, recently removed tonsils) and can’t really talk much. At supercuts it’s only a couple bucks for a Tea Tree Experience (when they wash it with that amazing smelling de stressing tea tree shampoo) and you basically get a free scalp massage and it feels amazing and relaxing. My friends get them for me all the time for my birthday and it makes my day every time :)
Go to starbucks and get some Tazo and sit in a corner playing hipster bingo. For the free space I either use thick rimmed glasses, ethically made shoes, or use of the word hegemony :)
Visit a butterfly pavilion. They have loads of free days and even without them the tickets only cost around five bucks. And I defy you to think of anything more relaxing than a motherfucking butterfly pavilion
Go to a nice quiet restaurant, the kind with just the right lighting and outdoor seating options and loads of tea on the menu and tiny desserts. If you live anywhere even remotely near Providence, go the the Duck and Bunny right this moment because it is the coziest, most lovely and relaxing place you could possibly eat. They literally call it a snuggery.
If you’re feeling nostalgic, loot around for old tokens or quarters and go to Chuckee Cheese for lunch on a Tuesday or some other time when it isn’t crowded. Individual pizza’s only 6 bucks, they have gluten free ones now too. Process and reduce some anxiety with a zombie shooter
Squirrel away in a tiny cozy out-of-the-way old bookstore and smell all the books. Buy some if you like because they nearly always have dollar shelves.
Go to the zoo when the weather is fucking terrible. Like serious storms and fucked up precipitation kind of terrible. I actually started doing this years ago with a bunch of my best friends when we went to the zoo for a day and it started hailing golf balls. Eating damp chicken fingers when it was dark and windy and stormy out with the zoo to ourselves watching snow leopards was more fun than I can possibly explain, and since then we always make it appoint to check the forecast for a really terrible day to go to the zoo. I don’t know specifics for every zoo ever, but Roger Williams Park (where I go) is maybe 15 dollars for the day. Watching the animals is super relaxing and with no one else around, it’s really nice and calm and not stressful :)
Don’t go to the aquarium though that shit is fucking expensive
Get a cheap pedicure. Mind you I’ve never actually had one (I’m terrified of people touching my feet), but according to people I know who regularly get them, they’re super relaxing and tend to be better at the cheap hole-in-the-wall places then at the fancier and more expensive ones
Go to an art museum. They’re really nice and open and quiet and it’s really nice to just sit and look at beautiful things that don’t make noise or try to touch you. I find that I’m really in touch with my emotions in a peaceful and not urgent way if I’m looking at art
If you happen to be rollin in it:
Go to the spa. Any spa. If you can afford it, go there. Get anything that sounds good. It’s amazing. You’re not expected to interact with anyone unless you feel like it. The water is weirdly delicious but you’re too relaxed to question what’s in it. The lighting is all dim and relaxing and if you have a headache you just walk in and suddenly don’t have it anymore. You will smell delicious. I got a citrus aromatherapy facial and massage thingy for my birthday when my mom found a billion year old gift card and I swear to you I have not been more relaxed since my diagnosis
Eat at the Melting Pot. Find one near you and eat at it. It’s so overpriced that I’ve actually never managed to eat there of my own accord but it is the most incredible relaxing food and you get put in these comfy booths where no one can see you with relaxing lighting and tons of melted cheese to devour
Horseback riding. Best date I ever went on was horseback riding. That is all.
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