Home of a Beetroot Goblin

Name's Rowan (Yes, like Mr Bean). British, 25, Horticulturist in training. 🌿🍀🌳🌻🌼🌷

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[ollie2point0]

the doctor told me aliens keep killing his companions so I asked how many companions he has and he says he just goes to earth and gets a new companion afterwards so i said it sounds like he's just feeding his companions to aliens and then he started crying

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

[amandapostman]

going through something that is insanely stressful and all-around shitty and having the thought, “huh, this is really narratively satisfying”

[xenosagaepisodeone]

hey man i see the projector in your mind's eye casting the image of a beautiful self indulgent fantasy over my silhouette so i just wanted to remind you before you try any funny business that when its battery dies it's just going to be me here

[the-muppet-joker]

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

[moveslikekeithrichards]

this might be kind of a reach but is there a way for printers to connect to devices so that documents can be printed from them

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[achillesinhighheels]

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

[4chtungb4by]

holy shit guys she draws

[aorish-deactivated20251222]

Recent discourse reminds me of that cult indoctrination trick that's often used to weed out more difficult marks early on, where they tell you all that you aren't allowed to eat rice on Tuesdays and then if you protest they go "wow SOMEBODY likes rice a little much huh" as if you're the fucking weirdo who cares too much about how much rice is consumed between Monday and Wednesday instead of them.

And this forces you to decide whether your autonomy matters to you more than the approval of the group - while they'll still act like you're on thin ice either way, if you give in at this point they know you're theirs forever, because now they've established a foothold, you've shown a moral weakness, which they will brand you with so it can be used against you in the future ("hey RICE-addict here doesn't want help break into the city records office") to force you to double-down and isolate you further.

And if instead you do decide to push back further, after your abrupt departure from the group ("You're seriously leaving us over RICE?!? Seriously?") and subsequent ostracism, you can then be used as a demonstration to the others who were more pliable, of how the outgroup is full of people like you who are obsessed with violating the No-Tuesday-Rice rule to the point where they'll abandon all their friends, who cared so much for them, so it clearly isn't an arbitrary restriction, you're the kind of monster these rules are intended to protect them from, thus all the other wise and esoteric precepts of the charismatic leader are implied to be equally justified.

[doomhamster]

This isn't just for cults either! Shitty partners, bosses, friends - they all do variants of this where if you kick back the first time they make an unreasonable request, it proves you weren't ever committed since you'd let such a small thing ruin everything. And of course, if it's the third or the tenth unreasonable thing they ask of you, it's SUCH A SMALL THING to be a deal-breaker at this late point in your relationship!

[aidashakur]

You literally just have to get really good at continuing.

[chonny-jash]

the worst part about having a modern phone is accidentally pressing some cheat-code-ass combination of buttons to bring up the inbuilt AI software, adding to the statistics and making some tech billionaire company freak think I actually want that bullshit

[chonny-jash]

It has been brought to my attention that holding the power button is what brings up Gemini.

That's fucking crazy.

That sucks shit.

Fuck off man.

The fuck are we doing here.

[puffball920]

Settings - advanced features - side button and conk that shit away from there

I hated that setting soooo much too

[chonny-jash]

SAVIOUR

Consider this a PSA

It's an adjustable setting

[sidecharactersdomatter]

We haven’t discussed how poorly constructed St. Mystere’s tallest and seemingly ominous building was

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[eridan-ampora]

my tea bag broke

[schmenty]

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

[eridan-ampora]

what the fuck ARE you talking about

[botanyshitposts]

so many creatures putting SO much effort into putting ‘special’ fluids that TOTALLY aren’t water through every organ possible to clean them so they can use them again 2 seconds later. like why not simply sit on a damp substrate and pull water through your body by evaporating the extra out pores in your leaves lmaoooo

[botanyshitposts]

‘nooo nooo you don’t get it I need the big organ to run the fast firing nerves to run the machines that make the fluid go to work the big organ’. whatever chordate. lol

[shaudo-of-a-doubt]

troubleshooting time: arid area, low on damp substrate. what do?

[botanyshitposts]

good question! you could try closing your leaf pores for a while until more appears… sometimes you can also put more tubes down and feel around until you find some. water comes from the opposite direction of the sun unless it doesn’t ❤️ glad I could help!!

[transcyberism]

omg useless advice from privileged mfs from wet climates as usual... bet you don't even use CAM.

[botanyshitposts]

ok first of all i checked your profile and of COURSE its all meadows, say youre a grass who does C4 without saying youre a grass who does C4 100% speedrun challenge. sorry i wasnt blessed with a whole separate sheath of cells for increasing photosynthetic efficiency and nothing else but some of us actually have to adapt and deal with the VERY REAL AND SEVERE effects of photorespiration... literally imagine having 30 foot deep roots posting this. second of all 'plants in wet climates are privileged' you can literally live in water and use CAM??? isoetes erasure per usual on this website, neglected by an angiosperm monocot no less. why am i not surprised

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

this is why I come to tumblr. Nowhere else could I get Botany Discourse