1,855 Days
Of course, now itās time to write for everyoneās favorite stressy-depressy emo boy.
Reader insert is afab, and referred to as such.
Content warning: violence, sex between characters, use of Y/N, reader insert is very self deprecating and has low self esteem, mentions of a near death experience, both characters are passengers on the hot mess express and it's gonna show. All characters are 18+ in this fic.
Disclaimer: I am still relatively new to smut writing. I'm going to apologize in advance if it's not any good.
I'm sorry.
WC: 10.6 K
MINORS DO NOT INERACT!
Enjoy!
The first thing that you registered as you came to was the smell of cigarette smoke.
"Aw, is the princess finally waking up?"
The sound of a slap followed. "Don't be mean, Satoru."
What the hell were Shoko and Satoru doing in your room?
You let out a soft groan, your vision a blur as you opened your eyes, blearily blinking to make things come into focus. Once it eventually did, you found yourself in the infirmary with both Satoru and Shoko looming over you as you were laid up in the cot. Actually, it was just Satoru that was standing over you, Shoko was sat in a chair beside your bed, a lit cigarette loosely hanging in between her lips.
"There's our little damsel in distress!" Satoru chirped, his inhumanely blue eyes barley peaking over his sunglasses. "You gave us quite the scare there."
Confusion filled you as you tried to jot your memory on what could have transpired to make you end up so severely injured to end up in the Tokyo Jujutsu Technical College infirmary. Surely you weren't that helpless.
"What happened?" Your throat is dry and your voice is groggy, making it seem like you had been asleep for some time. How long had you been out?
"That curse that you were sent out to deal with in Kotohira was incorrectly graded," Shoko answered, rather monotonously, as she plucked the cigarette out of her mouth with the space between her index and middle finger. "Instead of it being a grade three like we had originally thought, it turned out to be a semi grade one."
Flashes of the prior events began to play out in the forefront of your conscious as you reminisced on the curse that you were assigned to deal with in the tiny village deep in the countryside. You remembered the veil being drawn over an abandoned shrine, trapping you in with a monstrous curse that looked like it had the body of an octopus with the head of a rabid sewer rat that foamed at the mouth. You remembered being able to dodge some of its attacks, near misses at best, but quickly found yourself to be outmatched by the sheer force and viciousness that this curse displayed. A tentacle made one more swipe at you, aiming for your head and neck, which, regrettably for you, made contact.
You don't remember anything after that.
You attempted to sit up in bed, but were quickly frozen by the agonizing flare up of white hot pain that seared in your abdomen.
Satoru, who was quick to place a hand on your shoulder, eased you back down into a supine position in an effort to prevent you from moving any further. "Try and take it easy, kid. You're still in pretty rough shape."
The prodigy of the Gojo clan was usually never this considerate, let alone nice, to you. Many a times that you could recall, he often looked down on you, given the fact that you were the only grade four sorcerer in your year. Your classmates surpassed you in every aspect, whether it be by pure talent, luck, or by sheer physical prowess, you always lagged behind. At best, all you could really do was detect curses when they were there. You couldn't slow down time with the Six Eyes technique or maintain an invisible barrier over your entire body like Satoru could; you couldn't reverse even the most egregious injuries like Shoko could; at best, all you could really do was train, practice, and utilize weapons that were imbued with cursed energy that were at your disposal, and even that was still challenging in it of itself. Hell, even the second years, Nanami and Haibara, were even more gifted than you were.
In your mind, you were an embarrassment to your classmates, the school, and the whole of jujutsu society in its entirety.
With all of that in consideration, you must have come close to dying if it was Satoru who was being this nice to you.
"You got lucky, you know... with Suguru being able to respond so quickly," Shoko mused, as she stuck the cigarette back in between her lips. She stood up from her chair in the far corner of the room, and approached your beside, opposite to Satoru.
Your mind wandered to the raven haired special grade sorcerer that was also within your year. He was also the only one that wasn't present as your classmates checked in on you. "Suguru got me out? How? I thought he was dispatched to deal with a semi-special grade in Shinjuku?"
"Shoko and I actually took care of that one," Satoru replied, pushing his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose with his index finger, blocking out his eyes once again. "Principal Yaga decided to make a last minute swap, so that you could have Suguru as your backup in case if you needed it. Turns out the old fart was right."
The sinking feeling of shame started to bloom in your chest along with with the familiar flash of heat that flushed your cheeks, your gaze dropping from Satoru's to look at your hands as they rested on your chest, in an effort to hide your blush, realizing that had Yaga not dispatched Suguru to back you up, you most likely would have ended up in the morgue rather than the infirmary. Not even your teachers trusted you to handle missions on your own when your classmates had been able to do so back when they were first years; how humiliating.
Your internal distressed monologue, as well as the slight furrow of your eyebrows that caused your forehead to slightly crease, did not go unnoticed by Satoru.
Of course it didn't, you snidely thought to yourself. The kid noticed everything.
"Hey... don't beat yourself up about it." His tone was soft and held an edge of kindness, which was a side to him that you've never seen or heard from him before, almost forcing you to raise your eyes from your hands back to his face. "It wasn't your fault. It was a mistake on the higher ups part, not yours."
"Where is Suguru now?" you wondered.
"The kids been locked up in his room since he got you back to campus," Satoru muttered, his tone was something that you couldn't pinpoint. Was it out of annoyance or was it out of concern?
Shoko nodded her head in agreement. She opened her mouth to say something before the sound of a door opening echoed throughout the near empty medical ward, save for the three of you, stopping her in her tracks. All three of you immediately turned your heads to see Principal Yaga stroll in through the doors, a manila folder tucked under his arm as he approached your bedside. He took his sunglasses off before assessing you three, a disapproving gaze forming as he noticed the lit cigarette lodged in between Shoko's fingers.
"Smoking is not permitted on school grounds, Ieiri-san," he scolded. "I think I distinctly remember having several conversations with you about this."
"Sorry, Principal Yaga. Old habits die hard, I suppose," she guiltily chuckled as she lowered her hand back down to her side, trying to hide the cigarette behind herself.
"You are far too young to be using a phrase like that around me. Especially when it comes to a cancerous habit such as that," Yaga retorted. His eyes fell from Shoko and landed on you. "Would you two excuse us for just a moment? I need to have a conversation with Y/N-san privately."
Both Shoko and Satoru exchanged an uncertain look between the two of them, before quietly shuffling away from your cot, making a bee-line towards the infirmary doors.
"Oh, and Ieiri-san?"
Shoko stopped, and paused, looking at Principal Yaga questionably.
"Please extinguish the cigarette at once when you're back in the courtyard, and relinquish all of your lighters and cigarette packs by turning them into my office. Thank you."
You could hear Satoru let a singular shriek of laughter before Shoko admitted a begrudging sigh. "Yes, sir."
Both you and Yaga watched as Shoko and Satoru exited the infirmary; Yaga waiting for the doors to swing shut before ascertaining your current condition. "How are you feeling?"
"Like a peach," you joked, but you could immediately tell that the joke didn't land as Yaga didn't even crack a smile or attempt to give you a pity laugh.
He pursed his lips together before taking one of the chairs and pulled it closer to your bedside, taking a seat next to you. "Y/N-san, I want to start this conversation off by saying that I think that you are a wonderful student. Truly, I believe it," he began, untucking the folder from underneath his arm, placing it in his lap. "Your grades and your testing scores have always been top notch and you have such a keen eye for even the smallest detail."
You could feel a contrasting sentiment begin to form as Yaga praised you, your accomplishments, and your dedication as a student.
"-but-"
Ah, there it was.
Yaga continued, practically grimacing as he did so. "Your work out in the field leaves little to be desired."
You sucked in a shaky breath, unsure if you were ready to hear where the rest of this conversation was headed; it's not like you had a say in the matter, really.
He fixed you with a somber look, his fingers drumming on the top of the folder. "This is the third infirmary visit that you have had within the month, Y/N-san, and frankly it's starting to concern not only myself and your teachers, but the higher ups, as well. You're not operating as a third year student should, but rather as a first year student; it's getting to the point where I'm starting to fear that every time that get dispatched on a mission, you're going to end up in the morgue rather than the infirmary."
Operating as a first year student? Ouch.
You focused your gaze back onto your hands again, finding it unbearable to even look at your senior as he voiced his concerns for you and your safety. What little comfort Satoru and Shoko were able to provide to you in your moment of need, was quickly being quashed by the hard truth of reality that Yaga was forcing you to confront. You were far out of your league when it came to being a jujutsu sorcerer in comparison to your classmates, that much was trueāit didn't hurt any less when your teachers and superiors noticed your shortcomings.
"I think it may be best to either transfer you to the Kyoto branch or to take you out of field work altogether for the time beingāfor your own safety."
"What? Why?" you gasped, incredulous now, as you forced yourself to sit upright in bed this time, completely and deliberately ignoring the way that your body screamed at you in protest. "I can't do that! I don't want to do that!"
Yaga nearly jumped, alarmed at your outburst. "Relax, Y/N-san. I'm only doing this-"
The words spilled out before you could stop them, quickly becoming defensive. "Kotohira wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault that the curse wasn't graded properly!" you cried out, as you could feel your eyes burn with the welling of tears and a lump beginning to protrude in your throat. Mortification flooded through you as you realized how childish you sounded as you deflected the blame of your failures onto others, but with the constant stream of omissions on your part, you were exhausted, to say the least. "I tried my best! I really did, I swear!"
"I know that you tried your best, Y/N-san, and I know that Kotohira was an oversight. We aren't holding you accountable for that, I can assure you that much." Yaga reached forward to place a hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as he did so. "Believe me when I say that this isn't a conversation that I wish I didn't have to have with you; truly, I don't. The safety of my students, however, is paramount to me, and I fear that the best that you have to offer at this very moment won't be enough to save not just your life, but the lives of others."
You swiped a hand at your eyes, viciously rubbing away at the tears that spilled over. "I can do better, I can be betterāI swear I can!"
"Nothing has been set in stone, yet, Y/N-san; calm down."
You tried to get a grip on yourself as you spiraled, but you could feel yourself slip further and further into turmoil as the thought of your position as a student and as an up and coming jujutsu sorcerer was seemingly about to go up in smoke. You had worked hard for this, you really had; though, you had nothing to show for it. More tears spilled over and you continued to swipe away at them with the back of your hands and the heels of your palms, hoping that you could do away with them before your teacher would notice.
Yaga stretched his hand out towards the bedside table, grabbing a few tissues for you to dry your eyes.
"Like I said, Y/N-san, nothing has been set in stone. No papers have been signed, no transfers have been initiated, nothing has been done as of right now. Take a deep breath, and try to calm down."
You nodded, not trusting your voice. You sucked in a deep breath, but it was really more of a gasp than anything.
He handed you the folder that was on his lap, that you accepted with both hands. "I've compiled everything on the Kyoto branch for you to study up on, if you chose to transfer over; everything about the campus, the teachers, classes that they have, the paperwork that you would need to fill out, and among various other things." Yaga stood up from the chair. "I don't mean to drop this on you while you're still in recovery. I'm sorry. I suppose I should have a bit more tact about that in the future." He strode towards the doors that led out of the infirmary, but he paused. "And for what it's worth, Y/N-san," he turned and looked at you over his shoulder, "I meant what I said about you being a good student. You most certainly put your other classmates to shame in the classroom, but not everyone is cut out for the actual job of a sorcerer." Yaga hesitated to say the next words, but continued on. "It's best that your limitations are learned now while you're still a student."
And alive to tell the tale, he wanted to add on, but he stopped himself from doing so.
He exited the infirmary, leaving you alone with your thoughts and a folder full of paperwork that felt more like a white hot branding iron than anything else as you continued to hold it in your hands. You threw it to the end of your bed, wanting to rid yourself of the memory of the conversation.
~
The plastic bag of konbini store bought goods started to grow heavier and heavier in your hand the closer that you approached the boys' dormitories. Earlier that morning, you had been released from medical observation after having spent several days in the infirmary. Satoru, Shoko, Kento, Haibara, and even Ijichi had been to visit you a multitude of times while you recovered, trying to raise your spirits as you were on bedrestāyou had no idea if the conversation that had played out between you and Yaga had reached the others, and frankly you didn't care to find out if it did.
In the meantime, Suguru had not been to visit you; not once. Every time that you asked of him, you got the same answer:
"He hasn't left his dorm. No one hasn't seen him since he brought you back to campus."
So, instead of waiting for him to emerge from his own personal void, you decided to take matters into your own hands.
You strode down the hallway, heading to the very last door on the left hand side where a placard displayed the title: S. Geto next to the doorframe. With your freehand, you rapped on the door.
You got nothing for a response. You waited a full minute before trying again, this time increasing the weight in your closed fist and the speed of your knocks, almost rattling the entire door.
Finally, you heard from the other side of the entryway: "What do you want, Satoru? I'm not in the mood for entertainment tonight."
"It's not Satoru... it's me."
There was a slight pause before you heard shuffling from behind the door. The sound of the lock clicked before the wood panel was ripped open and you were, at long last, finally faced with your classmate that was responsible for saving your life.
"Hey..." Suguru exhaled, his posture relaxing somewhat as he was able to finally ascertain your condition as you stood before him. The last time he saw you, you were unconscious, bleeding out profusely in his arms, utilizing the giant pelican curse to take flight to get you back to safety and the medical attention that you so desperately needed in the moment. His mind unintentionally, and rather cruelly, flashed back to when he first found you, how you were splayed out on the ground, completely dead to the world while the curse loomed over you and was quite literally about to cut into your abdomen and-
No.
He can't ruminate on that right now.
You're here. You're breathing. You're standing in front of him. You're alive and well. That's what matters.
"Hi." Several beats of awkward silence passed between you two, unsure of how to go about this conversation. You did a quick once over, noticing just how... ungroomed he was. Suguru looked like he hadn't had a good nights rest in god knows how long, the bags underneath his eyes were a testament to that observation. His clothes had various stains on themāgod only knows whatāindicating, to you, at least, that it's been some time since he's last changed out of his clothes. His hair, the very first thing that you noticed about him when you had first met him, was extraordinarily unkempt and greasy. How long had it been since he had a bath or a shower?
You held up the bag in your hand, hoping to entice his interest. "May I come in?"
"Oh! Uh... yeah, just give me one second." He wasted no time in shutting the door, and you could hear even more shuffling around, the rustling of plastic bags, a couple of bangs here and there. Give or take several minutes later, the door reopened and Geto presented himself with multiple black plastic bags that he set outside of his door. "My place is a bit of a mess..." He opened the door a bit wider for you, allowing you entrance into his dorm.
"It's fine. I kind of showed up unannounced, anyways..."
Suguru's dorm room matched his outward appearance as you stepped into it, shuffling out of your shoes near the entryway; he wasn't exactly kidding when he said that his place was a bit messy. The drapes to his windows were drawn closed, seemingly shutting out the rest of the outside world. Various papers, books, and notebooks were scattered and stacked upon one another, either on, or near his desk on the ground, along with piles of unwashed clothes were stacked up in the far corners of his room, and his on his bed.
As if reading your mind, Suguru glanced back at you to see you eyeing the clutter that decorated his room, causing him to rush forward and salvage what he could and stuff it in his laundry basket that was hidden away in his closet. "Sorry, I must have missed that..." he uttered, embarrassed.
"Like I said." You presented him with the bag. "I showed up unannounced."
He looked down at the bag, subtle intrigue gracing his features. "What's this?"
"My gratitude, as piss poor as it may be, for saving my life in Kotohira." You stretched your arm further out, willing him to take it from you.
"Why would it be piss poor?" He took the bag from you, opening it slightly so he could see the contents inside of it, noting two large plastic basins of cup ramen from his favorite brand, in both the spicy and non spicy variants, several bags of his favorite chips, drinks, and candy. "You didn't have to go out of your way to do this for me, I hope you know that."
"I know, but..." Your hands linked together at the front of your center, your fingers nervously twiddling around as you could feel Suguru bore his gaze into you, his eyes analytical as he surveyed you; shyness sparking within you and spread throughout your entire trunk. "... I wanted toāespecially considering that I was way out of my league with that curse."
"Right." Suguru's lips pursed tightly together into a thin line; at the mention of Kotohira, the image of you, bloody and lifeless, immediately flashes in his mindāunwanted and unwelcome. A wave of nausea flowed through him, but he tried to shove those sensations to the side; instead, he deflected. "Glad to see you back on your feet."
"Yeah," you dryly chuckled, as you looked down to examine your body, raising your arms simultaneously to do an open presentation to your body. "A couple of healing sessions with Shoko, a few days of rest, and I'm as good as new."
"As good as new," he echoed, nodding his head. His eyes slightly dropped from yours, finding himself too exhausted to even maintain eye contact with you anymore.
You dip your head slightly down, trying to match his gaze once again. There was an elephant in the room, and you couldn't avoid it any longer. "Hey, are you doing okay?"
"I'm fine. Perfect. Never better." His response is robotic, devoid of any real human emotion or warmth to help convince you otherwise.
"You're a terrible liar and you know it."
Suguru doesn't move, remaining stationary with his head still down. "I know." His eyes slowly flit up, but just barely enough to meet your concerned ones. "I'm fine. You really don't need to worry about me."
"You're so full of shit." The words slip out before you can stop them, unable to find yourself to tiptoe around it anymore; your tone is unthinkingly harsh, you don't mean it to be. "You haven't left your dorm in god knows how long, the place is a complete mess, you look like you haven't slept for days, you smell like you haven't bathed or showered in daysāand you have the absolute gall to tell me not to worry about you? Fuck off, Suguru!"
He winced as you went off on him. "I don't mean to-"
"I'm concerned about you, Suguru. Maybe Satoru and Shoko won't say anything to you, but I will." You take a step forward, your head dipping further down, still trying to catch his eyes. "I can't read your mind, but everything that you're doing here is clearly a cry for help. I want to help you, Su."
Suguru closed his eyes, and turned away, his back now facing you. There were tears in his eyes and he couldn't let you see that; a crack in the facade that he was so desperately trying to maintain. "It's not your concern." He had to change the subject before you truly broke him open and got to the core reason of his suffering; deflect, deflect, deflect! he screamed at himself. "Besides." He craned his head to look over his shoulder at you, his gaze lacking warmth. "Shouldn't you be a bit more concerned about your status as a sorcerer instead of worrying about me?"
You reel back a bit, as if he had dealt you a physical blow, stunned. "I... I'm sorry?"
He turned around to face you again, his presence now menacing. "Yaga talked to me, naturally he had asked me what had happened for you to be so injuredājust like every other mission that you've gone on." He took several steps forward, forcing you to take several steps back. "I think he mentioned to me that this was the third consecutive infirmary visit that you've had within the month after being dispatched on other missions, either resulting in you being unable to exorcise the curse or the failure to save those implicated."
You began to get defensive, humiliation flaring up at the mention of your lack of successes. "That's none of your goddamn business!"
"It is my business when I'm your designated backup and you're about to be ripped apart by the curse that you are meant to exorcise; your shortcomings are so exhaustive that I even asked Yaga to take you out of field work."
You sucked in a breath, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of your lungs, the revelation leaving you shocked. "What?"
He didn't look proud. It wasn't something to be prideful of, knowing how hard you worked; in his mind, however, it had to be done, regardless. Suguru eased up on the verbal assault, willing himself to be a fraction tender than he was previously. "Listen to me, I know it sounds bad, but I-"
"You rat bastard!" you cried out, the sting of betrayal burned through your core as his words took hold. You recoiled, physically cowered, at the notion that Suguru was responsible for putting the idea in Yagaās head to get your position as an up and coming Jujutsu sorcerer terminated. "Why the fuck would you do that?!"
"I was the one that found you, Y/N!" he snapped, his voice now climbing up in tone and in pitch, the nonchalant coldness that he had displayed previously now long gone. "Had I been a second too late you would have ended up in the fucking morgue! That curse was about to turn you into mincemeat and I canāt get the goddamned images out of my head! I canāt forget it!"
"Well, thank you for saving my life, Suguru, truly, I am gratefulābut you had no right to go to Yaga and convince him to take me out of commission!" You jabbed a finger in his chest, almost making him stumble backwards.
"Every single mission that you have ever been on have been complete and utter debacles, even when we were first years! With the rate that you're operating at, you're going to get yourself killed!" he screamed back, now getting up in your face.
"You wanna talk to me about failed missions?" You felt as if venom was dripping from your teeth and your tongue as you spoke your next words, thoughtlessly letting your next verbal attack do as much damage as it possibly could. "What about that mission last spring, huh? The one that involved that fourteen year old girl? What was her name again, Riko?"
Suguru's mouth went dry at the mention of her, the next couple of words that he was going to use instantaneously dying within his throat. He took a step backwards, putting a bit of distance between the two of you, fighting off the onslaught of emotions that threatened to over flow and drown him; all of the feelings that he had spent the last two years trying to bury deep within himself, so much so to the point of where it started to shake him and the morals that he held with such high regard. Traumatic flashes began to play out in the forefront of Suguru's conscious, some of which included Riko Amanai getting gunned down in cold blood in front of him, nearly dying at the hands of the Toji Fushiguro, the one man, and so far the only man, that had managed to get the drop on both him and Satoru, along with Satoru carrying her limp body in his hands as members of the Star Religious Group all clapped in unison in a thunderous applause.
You mentally berated yourself for using that history against him. Though you weren't present for the mission, and thank god for that, there had been some kind of unspoken agreement between you, Shoko, Suguru and Satoru to never bring that mission up in casual conversation ever againāand here you were, using it as petty leverage against him in the verbal spat that you two were having. "I'm sorry. That was mean of me."
The memories kept replaying. He couldn't save her. He couldn't stop it. The sound of applause overpowers his hearing, forcing him to use his palms to cover his ears. He can't hear you.
"Suguru, hey." You rush forward, enclosing his face in your hands, forcing him to bring his eyes to meet yours. His eyes were watery, his vision a blur as he looked at you and all of the animosity that you held towards him completely vanished. "I'm sorry, I really am. I shouldn't have said that to you; that was rude and insensitive of me."
He curled himself forward, tucking his face into your shoulder. You quickly found your shirt wet with tears, his entire trunk shaking with the quiet sobs that escaped him. He clung onto you like you were the last lifeline that he would ever receive, his hands fisting into your shirt to clutch you even closer. With the way that his chest heaved, his cries sounded strangled.
You had never seen Suguru so distraught before, as he normally sported such a cool and calm demeanor that equally balanced out Satoru's childish antics; in a way, it almost frightened you.
Suguru's weight collapsed into you, and you nearly had to fight back a gasp of pain as he did so. Given the fact that, yes, you were out of the infirmary, and yes, you had received several healing sessions from Shoko, but you still weren't a hundred percent better. The both of you sank to your knees, but you maintained your hold on Suguru, trying give him something to anchor himself to while he was still at the mercy of his emotional state of being. You held him for as long as he needed you to, until your knees ached and your arms grew tired; you remained steadfast.
Eventually, Suguru's breathing evened out and the sobs died down, with just the occasional hiccup and hitched breath that escaped from him every now and then. He pulled his face out of your shoulder just slightly, his tear streaked face now coming into your view. He still avoided meeting your eyes, but after everything that had just transpired, you honestly didn't blame him.
Your hands slid from around his trunk back up to the sides of his face, your thumbs trying to wipe away at the excess tears that lingered. "Do you feel any better?"
A single nod.
"... How long have you held this in, Suguru?"
A beat of silence passed before he answered you. "Awhile."
You nodded, not wanting to push the subject any further. You gently eased yourself off of him as he unwrapped his arms from around you. "Come on." You stand up, extending your hand towards him. "You should take a shower. I can do a bit of light cleaning while I'm still here."
He hesitated for a mere second, before he took your hand in his, hoisting himself back up into a standing position.
"Go and get yourself cleaned up. You'll feel a bit better after a hot shower," you urged, handing him a towel that you found discarded on the floor and the bag of toiletries that you noticed on the counter from the corner of your eyes.
Suguru wordlessly took the items as you handed them to him. He shuffled towards the door, but delayed in putting on his shoes before he turned back to face you. "Will you still be here when I get back?"
"Yes. I promise that I'll still be here when you get back."
He gives you one last look over his shoulder, his expression unreadable, before exiting his dorm. You immediately put yourself to work, by taking the multiple bags of garbage that sat outside of his dorm down to the dumpsters that sat in between both the girls' dormitories and the boys' dormitories. You collected all of the discarded, worn, and dirtied clothes that you found on the floor in his closet and put them into the laundry hamper that sat in the far corner of his room. You scoured through his drawers and managed to find a fresh set of bed sheets to change out on his mattress.
You were in the middle of tidying up his desk area when the door opened to reveal a freshly showered and cleaned Suguru.
"Hey." You perked up and turned to face him. "Are you feeling a bit better?"
He nodded his head as he closed the door behind him and kicked off his shoes. "Somewhat."
A soft smile formed on your face. "Good. I'm glad to hear that." You turned back around, redirecting your attention back to the task at hand. You heard Suguru set his stuff down on the counter behind you, and you could feel his presence linger behind you. "I managed to get a majority of stuff cleaned out and tidied up. Your clothes and your bedsheets are gonna have to go through the wash-" you turned around, expecting him to still be lingering by the door but found your words trailing off when you saw that he was mere inches away from you.
Lavender irises finally bore into yours, a hazy and undecipherable expression laid out on his face. You let out a shuddering breath, unsure of what was to follow as he slowly inched closer and closer to you. He reached up and clasped your hands in his, slowly getting your fingers to release the papers that you held within your hands, as he set it back down onto the desk beside you two. He leaned his face down towards yours, but stopped with centimeters to spare. You could feel his exhaled breath of your face, the smell of cool mint on his breath indicating that he had just brushed his teeth.
"What are you doing, Suguru?" you timidly whispered, unsure of what was going on in his mind or what he was planning on doing.
Suguru barely, just barely, glanced down to your lips before glancing back up to your eyes. "Something that I should have done a long time ago," he murmured. He held this position for a few beats, letting you make the nonverbal decision whether or not if this was something that you wished to continue, that you would consent to if you wanted this.
It had long been a secret that Suguru had harbored within himself that he had liked you just a little bit more than he had let on around the others. It had been shown in small ways, though, whenever he would try to reign in Satoru's playful teasing (let's be realistic, bullying would be a more correct term). He would walk behind you whenever the group would walk forward at a pace that you couldn't keep up with, just so that you weren't alone, as well as took you into consideration whenever he, Satoru, Shoko, Kento, and Haibara would go and visit the konbini stores, and you had chosen to stay behind, focusing on school work and sparring lessons rather than leisure outings with your classmates; you would always find snacks outside of your dormitory when you would tuck in for the night.
In a way, you may have always knownābut you never really were brave enough to test those waters.
That is, until the opportunity presented itself to youāquite literally on a silver platterāat the current moment.
You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you mustered up the courage to lean forward and meet Suguru half way by placing your lips on his, hoping to god that he wouldn't shove you away. To your surprise, he melted within you; he gently placed both of his hands on the sides of your face and titled your head upwards as he pressed his chest against yours, not breaking the kiss as he did so. He suckled on your top lip, one of his hands softly trailing down from the side of your face to enclose around the hollow of your throat, his thumb gently rubbing up against your trachea. You grasped his wrist loosely, letting his mouth and tongue work against you.
As time went on, the kiss became more frenzied. His motions became hungrier, more starved; he wanted more from you. It was as if Suguru was a man that had been lost in the desert and you were the oasis that could offer him reprieve. He began to nudge you backwards until you felt the mattress against the back of your knees.
You had to jerk yourself away, your lungs screaming at you for the relief of oxygen. You gasped and panted, holding him away from you at arms length with your hands on his shoulders. Suguru didn't look deterred, however, and found you breathlessness adorable, almost. He grabbed your hands and brought them to his center, placing your palms flat on his chest; you could feel the erratic pulsating of his heart.
"What are we doing, Suguru?" you asked, trying to find a shred of consciousness to bring you back to reality, despite the lustful fog that clouded your better judgment.
"It's quite simple, Y/N," he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I've made my decision; I'm not holding myself back anymore." He raised one of your hands to his mouth, pressing your fingertips against his lips before sticking one of your digits into his mouth. A flash of heat went straight to your core at both the sight and the sensation of feeling the wetness of his tongue and the pressure as he suckled on your fingers.
You were at a loss for words, your mind unable to function coherently. The lag in your alertness caused you to miss the double entendre that Suguru had just spoken to you, the weight of his words far heavier than you truly realized.
Either you didn't realize it, or you simply didn't care.
Suguru peered at you through his lashes, pulling your fingers out of his mouth with strings of saliva still attaching you to him. "You can tell me to stop if you don't want this."
You vigorously shake your head back and forth, strongly suggesting a firm 'no' on your end.
He chuckled. "Good." He gently pushed you backwards, forcing you to land on your back on the mattress behind you, your body softly bouncing against it upon impact. He's quick to cover your body with his, reattaching his mouth to yours. In a clash of saliva, lips, tongues, and teeth, your exhaled breaths become sharper and harsher as the two of you continued with your ministrations to one another. Suguru reached down towards the hem of your shirt, fisting it into his grip. "Can I undress you? Please?" He sounded desperate.
You nodded your head, giving him the permission to do so. Your arms flew up above your head, assisting him in shedding off the extra barriers that separated you from him. In a flurry of tangled limbs, it doesn't take long for either one of you to be completely desolate and in the nude.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he breathed, noticing the slick the covered your folds. His pupils are blown out, completely dilated to the size of quarters as he lowered himself to be face to face with your cunt. He looked up back to your face, silently asking permission if he could taste you. With another silent nod, Suguru wasted little to no time diving in; using his thumbs to pull your labia apart, he gave little kitten licks to your clit before completely flattening his tongue against you, making you bite down on your bottom lip in order to prevent you from gasping.
It was a strange sensation to feel, at the very least, to feel something as wet and abject as Suguru's tongue against your innermost parts. It was foreign to you, to bare something as intimate as this, an act so visceral that it shook you to your core. Never in a million years did you think that you would experience it for the first time with your classmate. His arms hooked around your legs, locking you into place as he continued with his motions against you. Your teeth were nearly breaking through the skin of your bottom lip, the pressure building within you as you felt him massage his tongue against you; his actions weren't hurried, but he certainly had found his rhythm. You could feel your abdomen begin to tighten, your muscles forming a vice grip as the pleasure mounted upon itself. He wrapped his lips around your clit, suckling it into his mouthāyour vision went white for a moment as he did so, a slight tremor rippled through your limbs.
Suguru slowly began to rock his hips into the mattress the more that he pleasured you, trying to alleviate some of the need that was starting to build within himself. An internal tent formed within the loose restrictions of his clothes; desire and unabashed lust burning in his abdomen.
He eased off of you, noticing your absolution to silence. "Don't hide yourself from me. I wanna hear you," he whispered, a shameless expression in his eyes that quite literally made you implode on yourself, another strangled breath escaping from you.
"Don't give me that false hope," you breathed, trying to regain some semblance of self control.
"What false hope?" Suguru pressed a trail of kisses from your core, leading up your abdomen, but the lascivious leer that he had on you never left your face. "Is it truly that unbelievable that I might actually have feelings for you?"
"Yes, it is," you panted, the self consciousness swarmed in the more that he continued to stare at you, "especially considering the fact that it's me we're talking about."
You startled at the pierce of being bitten into one of the folds of your abdomen, hissing in surprise to see Suguru latch his teeth onto you; an annoyed glint in his eyes as he stared you down. He released your flesh, only ever so slightly as strings of saliva still connected from your wound to his tongue. "Stop belittling yourself," he warned, a sternness to his features, making it seem, and feel like, you were a child being scolded. "I won't stand for it."
You were rendered silent as he glared at you, giving a rather pathetic nod as he bore his soul into yours; you had hoped that your submissive response would have been enough to satiate the austere gaze that he had upon you.
He softly placed his lips on the irritated spot where he had sunk his teeth into you, knowing that a bruise was likely to form. Suguru pushed himself upwards, allowing him to sit back on the haunches of his feet before he grabbed hold of the freshly changed shirt that he was wearing, and pulled it over his head, ridding him of one of his articles of clothing before discarding it off to the side along with yours.
"I need you to know this, Y/N," Suguru mused, outstretching his hands into your palms, allowing him to thread his fingers through yours; his face was pensive as he looked at you, but behind the outer expression, you could detect sincerity. "Perhaps my actions have not accurately portrayed my emotions, but there is nothing false or fraudulent about how I feel for you, and it offends me to hear that you would think otherwiseāwounds me, even."
"Suguru, you don't need to-" your sentence is quickly cut short by the sudden tightening that almost threatened to crush your hands as he squeezed them with his own, his nails subtly digging into the flesh of your knuckles.
"Stop that; stop doubting me and stop doubting what I feel for you."
"You're only just saying that because I cleaned your room and I'm in between your legs."
Suguru fought off a chuckle as he reached behind himself to pull his shirt over his head. "No, but it is an added plus." He grabbed both of your wrists, pulling you into an upright position, swiftly changing positions with you as you were guided you into a prone position with your head and your hands hanging off the end of his bed. From across the room was a large full length floor mirror that faced the bed, where you could watch as Suguru shedded off both his sweatpants and underwear; your mouth salivated at the sight of it. Without the restriction of his underwear to hold himself down, his hardened length immediately sprung up and slapped against his abdomenāhis tip an angry red, a stark contrast to the melanated tone that colored the rest of his cock and his testicles.
There was no doubt in your mind that Geto Suguru was one of the most beautiful men that you had ever had the chance of ever encountering in your lifetime.
Or perhaps beguiling was a better word.
"Like what you see?"
His goad brought you out of your trance like state as your eyes caught his in the mirror, a smug look on his face as he lowered himself to cover your backside with his front; you could feel his hardened member press up against your lower back and his testicles rest upon the top of your ass. What an odd feeling that was.
You averted your eyes, feeling a bit embarrassed at the notion of being caught.
Suguru slid his arm underneath your jaw, using it to prop your head up on his forearm, but also as a way to cage you in, and hold you in place, as well. Warmed breaths tickled the nape of your neck as you felt Suguru's lips near your ear; he gently latched his teeth onto the outer shell, making you whimper. "Don't play coy with me now."
"Don't think that just because I'm trapped under you, naked, and on your bed doesn't mean that I'm no longer upset with you for telling Yaga to pull me out of the field," you snapped, clarity finally ringing through for you after the initial haze had worn off. You were still quite annoyed with him, angry even.
Suguru let out a breathy chuckle at your insinuation. "What a predicament you must be in." He grabbed hold of your jaw with his other hand, forcing you to raise your eyes to meet his through the reflection of the mirror, not giving you the chance or the freedom to move or look away from him. The expression in his eyes veracious. "I don't want you dead; simple as that. After finding you in Kotohira, I can't stomach seeing you like that ever again, do you understand me?"
"You had no justification in telling him-"
"I had every justification, Y/N." He's quick to cut you off, no longer willing himself to listen to what you had to say, his grip on your jaw tightening just a fraction. "The justification was when you were bleeding out onto my school uniform and onto my curse as we flew back to campus, the justification was when you spent nearly a week unconscious in the infirmary and then some bedridden from your injuries. Not to mention that this wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened to you."
You glowered at him, your lip upturning in disgust. "Still, you-"
"You can hate me and cuss me out all you want." He released your jaw and slid his arm out from under your head, pushing himself upwards again, towering over your backside as he lined himself up to your entrance, his hands on your hips. "Least you'll be alive to do it." He nudged his hips forwards, the head of his cock starting to breach past your entrance, making you gasp and fist the duvet into your hands as the feeling of being stretched open started burn within your pelvis the more that his cock intruded.
"Fuck me," he groaned out, leaning his head back as he closed his eyes. He bottomed out as his hips were flush against your ass, holding himself there for a few moments, allowing you to familiarize yourself with him inside you. "You doing okay?"
You had buried your face into the mattress, your knuckles turning white the tighter that you held onto the duvet. You mutely nodded your head as the burn slowly dulled to a low ache. You felt him take his right hand from your hip, and grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing you to raise your head to meet him through the reflection of the mirror. "Look at how beautiful you are right now," he breathed, a half ass smirk starting to form on his face.
This was a sight... truly to behold for yourself. You had never seen yourself in this position, so vulnerable and subjective to whatever Suguru wanted to do to you as he towered over you from behind.
"Beautiful? Or am I just submissive to you?" you bit back, still finding yourself in a sour mood.
Another breathy chuckle. "Both."
With careful precision, he cautiously pulled his length outwards before rolling his hips forward again to set a pace that was comfortable for both you and himself. You fought off the moans and whimpers that bubbled in your chest as the sound of skin meeting skin filled the room; the tip of his cock started to brush against a particularly sensitive spot in your warmth, causing you to contort your face as the pleasure started to outweigh the pain the more that Suguru slid his cock in and out of your velvet walls. You didn't want to feed into his ego more than you already had previously.
The more that you squeezed around him, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally, Suguru found himself enslaved to the wonders that your body offered him. He wanted more of it, more of you. Your cunt completely drenched his cock with, strings of your essence giving him several forms of connection from you to him as it leaked from your entrance. He released your hair, his hand flying back to your waist as he started to buck up into you. He gripped your hips a bit more tightly, hoisting your hips upwards, allowing his cock to reach deeper in you, his tip barely kissing your cervix. Fast-paced pants escaped from Suguru, his gaze locked in on how his cock continuously disappeared and reappeared in between your cheeks the more that he thrust into you. His nails dug into the flesh of your hips, crescent shaped moons decorating your skin.
"Fuck, you feel so good!" Suguru cried out, throwing his head back as a prolonged moan released from the depths of his soul. He begun to piston his cock harder and faster into you, making your body jolt with every thrust that slapped against you.
"Suguru... I... I can't..." you helplessly mewled, enraptured by the constant stimulation and bombardment of , by both Suguru's cock bullying itself into you, as well as the fact that your clit was rubbing up against the blanket every time that Suguru thrust up against you; it was beginning to become too much for you.
"Yes, you can," he breathed, lowering himself over you, forcing you into a fully prone position once again, and his lips at your ear again. "You've been doing so well for me all this time, don't you wanna continue being good for me?"
He dug his hand underneath you, his fingers seeking out your center; when he finally found your clit, he pinched it in between his thumb and index finger, making you gasp out and lurch forward, nearly making you fall off the bed as a lightning bolt of white hot pleasure shot through you. He rolled your clit in between this fingers, increasing the rhythm in which he stimulated you, causing you to thrash around underneath him, helpless and completely at his mercy as he had his way with you.
The familiar feeling of your abdominal muscles tightening dawned on you, the more that Suguru rubbed at your clit and thrust into you, alerting you of your impending orgasm as it started to mount upon itself, desperately seeking out releaseālike it was a damn getting ready to burst.
"You're close, aren't you?" Suguru licked the outer shell of your ear with the tip of his tongue, before he decided to suckle it into his mouth; he's babbling now. "I can feel getting tighter and tighter around me, fucking squeezing me like a goddamn vice grip. Come for me. I want you to come for me, milk me for all I'm worth. I want itāI need it, goddammit!"
"Suguru, I- please, I canāt!" you cried out, everything and every sensation reaching a head as your abdomen clamped down on itself, your orgasm crashing over you in waves, your body convulsing with each pulsation that seized. Your eyes brimmed with tears as a the waves continued to move through your entire core, completely overwhelmed and getting fairly close to overstimulation. You reached under yourself and grabbed Suguru's wrist, throwing his hand off of you and desperate to get his fingers off your folds.
"Yesāhaāyou can. You just did!" Suguru grounded out, his hips now fully bucking into you and rutting up against you with unabashed lust and fervent, now chasing his own high; the sensation of you clamping around him as you orgasmed quite literally made him feel as if he had died and ascended to the next astral plane. He could feel the base of his cock start to throb the more that he moved against you, and in a flurry of heated movement, Suguru pinned you against the bed and began to pound into you, the forceful thrusts literally moving the entire bed frame, causing it to squeak and groan with each viscous piston of his hips against yours.
Unable to hold himself back anymore, but not willing to take the risk of getting you pregnant, Suguru ripped himself out of your cunt and wrapped his hand around himself, a piss poor replacement for your warmth, using your release as lubricant to fully finish himself off. A strangled groan escaped from Suguru as his release hit him like a freight train, and watched as the white droplets spurted out of the head of his cock, painting your backside; you slightly jumped at the feeling of it, not anticipating this action on your end.
Suguru slumped over, the exhaustion now settling in as he came down from his high, the post-coital bliss overtaking him as soft pants escaped from between his lips. He collapsed next to you, an adorning look on his face as he gazed upon you. You limply turned your head to meet his, your expression mirroring hisāaffectionate, but fatigued.
"Was that okay?" he asked, raising a hand to gently brush some of the loose strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear, his hand resting on the side of your face.
You mutely nodded, too sluggish to verbally respond.
"I meant what I said earlier, by the way." He scooted closer to you, pressing a soft kiss, first to the crown of your head, your nose, and then finally your lips. He pulled away from you, now somber. "I don't want you dead, and if I have to piss you off in order to keep you safe, then so be it."
You could barely register the words as he said them, the sleepiness now coming for you with a fury; you felt drunk. "... 'm still mad at you."
Another breathy chuckle, then followed by a soft, relenting sigh. "I know you areābut frankly I don't really care."
~
First, it started with Haibara.
When the news had hit campus that the mission that both Kento and Haibara was dispatched on had gone fatally awry, Suguru had spent several hours with Haibara's corpse in the morgue, along with Kento. It was then immediately followed by both Suguru and Satoru's caseload becoming larger and larger, as Kento and Haibara's missions were then allocated to the two special-grade sorcerers, their presences on campus near nonexistent. You didn't get a chance to talk to him.
Then, it was the mission where Suguru had to rescue the two young girls that were being held prisoner in a small village of 112 civilians. When the higher ups had truly learned what had truly transpired over there, and how Suguru had essentially massacred the entire village, he was quickly ousted and expelled from jujutsu society, and sentenced to death should he ever get captured by the proper authorities.
You hadn't seen him since.
The ache in your soul never really left, either.
Five years and one month later...
Suguru watched as the twins stood over the edge of the large crater that had split open the ground of the curse that he had just exorcised. In his hand, he held the orb of the exorcised curse, glowing a muted white with streaks of blue that had shone through, mentally and physically preparing himself to absorb the curse within himself to add to his ever growing collection of curses. He took a deep breath and forced the orb down, revulsion flashing through him as the orb made its way from his mouth and down his esophagus; he clasped two hands over his mouth, staggered forward as he physically cowered, willing himself to not vomit the curse back up.
"Geto-sama!" Nanako called out, vigorously waving a hand over her head to try and capture his attention. "Come over here! I see something down there!"
Suguru took in several deep breaths to try and regain control of himself before he sauntered forward to where the twins were standing. He straightened himself upright, enclosing his hands to the front of his chest, letting the sleeves of his blood soaked gojo-gesa cover them. He stalked forward to where Nanako and Mimiko were standing.
Nanako jabbed a finger downwards in the crater, where his eyes saw a figure amongst the destruction and wreckage of the battle that had ensued. "See! Right there!"
"A monkey caught in the crossfire perhaps?" Mimiko mused, pulling her teddy bear closer to her chest as she tried to lean in forward to get a better look; she nearly lost her balance, almost falling into the opening.
Suguru quickly snapped his hand out, catching her by her arm in order to prevent her from falling in. "Careful, little one," he gently chided, pulling her backwards to safety. "You two stay here. I'll go and check it out to see what it is."
"Don't you mean who it is?" Nanako asked, trying to be a bit of a smart ass; she was at that age.
"Not if it's a monkey, Nana," Suguru snickered, calling upon one of his airborne curses to levitate him down into the opening to get a better look at what the girls had initially seen. "I'll be back momentarily." He floated down, maintaining his perfect posture and composure, an indifferent look on his face as he got closer and closer to the figure. When he had finally reached the ground, he sauntered forward, ready to demolish whatever pathetic being had been unfortunate enough to catch Suguru on a bad day.
With more and more steps towards the figure, Suguru could feel the smug and arrogant nature begin to slip away from his facade as he began to recognize some of the features that the figure had; it had your body type. Your hair. Your skin color. He couldn't maintain himself any longer and rushed forward, panic starting to overwhelm him as he realized that there was a strong possibility that figure really could have been you.
Urgency to his movements now, he approached and he could clearly make out your face. It looked as if you were in a deep, peaceful sleep, instead of you being beaten into an unconscious pulp from a curse that was far above your grade for you to deal with. He noticed that you were holding a sword in one of your hands, deducing to him that you most likely had been spent out to exorcise this curseāat the expense of your own life, apparently. It was exactly like Kotohira from all those years ago, and it was pretty damn evident that you didn't learn your lesson from the first time, making him internally groan out of annoyance but also pure frustration and lividness.
Suguru crouched down beside you, pressing two fingers to the underside of your jaw to feel for your carotid artery in hopes of finding a pulse; praying to some higher power that he didn't believe in with fearful uncertainty that you were still alive and breathing. He let out a breath that he didn't even realize that he was holding in when he found the rhythmic pulsing underneath your skin, all of the apprehension that he had disappearing from within him.
He reached down to dislodge the handle of the sword from your grip, before sliding his arms underneath your body, lifting you off of the ground and into his embrace and keeping you close to his chest with your head limply resting against his shoulder. He called upon another curse to help transcend the two of you upwards and out of the crater. With your head so close to his face, he couldn't help himself but softly press a kiss to your forehead.
After all these years, he still held you with such tender regard.
"Geto-sama! Do you know this woman?!" Nanako called out, eager to find out more about you, given the fact that she had never ever seen her pseudo-father figure hold another woman the way like he was currently holding you.
"I do. She's an old friend and classmate of mine."
"Is she coming home with us?" Mimiko asked, clutching her doll a bit tighter to her chest as the two of you ascended closer to the twins. This was strangeāshe didn't like this change.
Suguru sinisterly laughed at the thought of it. If he were a better man, he would have dropped your body off outside the gates of the Tokyo Jujutsu Technical College, dropping you off into the care of those that claimed to be the righteous, morally justified societies that continuously threw its youth into the jaws of death.
If he were a better man, that is. He was clearly past the point of caring.
As he reached the ledge, he stepped forward back onto the ground, presenting his daughters with their new mother. "Yes. She'll be living with us from now on."
You may come to hate him for it, but at least you'll be alive to do it.
