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Today's Document
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@beingalones
beingalones is a selective to private (depending on my mood) indie writing blog. mun is 28, uses she/they pronouns and in the aest timezone. you may find triggering subject matter on my blog such as murder, smut, horror, kinda ugly tall men, etc, but you’re more likely to find me getting emotional about people touching hands accidentally. formerly ghostwifed. links below!
guidelines
characters
open starters
wishlist
wanted opposites
wanted ships
open starter for w/nb plot: your muse is the girlfriend of one of birdy's rich 'friends' who buys off of him and he's been developing a crush which is bad for business.
birdy eyed her carefully as he handed over the bag, hands instantly stuffing back into the pocket of his a hoodie he'd stolen from one of his friends. he couldn't remember who anymore, he'd just liked how soft the fabric was. "so, uh," he looked down as he spoke, scuffing his boot against the concrete. "that's gonna be the last bit i sell to you, okay? if you need a recommendation i can text you some, but... yeah. sorry."
short wishlist starter call. pick from the muses under the cut and i'll write you a short starter inspired by something off of your wishlist tag!
jonah hughes, 24, bisexual, he/him, jalen thomas brooks fc
kari huxley, 36, bisexual, she/her, shannon thornton fc
athena sullivan, 21, lesbian, she/her, cailee spaeny fc
dove velazquez, 21, bisexual, she/her, jenna ortega fc
oliver barton, 22, straight, he/him, stephen kalyn fc
quinn zhang, 21, bisexual, she/her, lola tung fc
rhiannon meyer, 22, lesbian, she/her, savannah lee smith fc
spencer malone, 22, bisexual, he/him, belmont cameli fc
johanna mcnamara, 45, lesbian, she/her, lauren ambrose fc
ledger carbone, 22, straight, he/him, costa d'angelo fc
london rowe, 22, lesbian, they/them, simone joy jones fc
deji ikola, 30, straight, he/him, damson idris fc
rosalie sandoval, 29, bisexual, she/her, camila mendes fc
slater pruitt, 28, bisexual, she/her, victoria pedretti fc
tristan hastings, 35, bisexual, he/him, paul anthony kelly fc
adrien coventry, 27, bisexual, he/they, asivak koostachin fc
buffy marie messerschmidt, 26, bisexual, she/her, isabelle mathers fc
danica ramsey, 25, bisexual, she/her, sol ruca fc
hayes mckinney, 22, bisexual (closeted), he/him, vinnie hacker fc
odessa sutton, 25, bisexual, she/her, lili reinhart fc
simone levitt, 22, bisexual, she/her, pam hughes fc
rhett whittaker, 48, straight, he/him, norman reedus fc
samuel greene, 48, bisexual, he/him, shawn hatosy fc
EUPHORIA S03E03 "The Ballad of Paladin"
SAM REID as Lestat de Lioncourt
An Inside Look at 'The Vampire Lestat' x
okay tomorrow i might be on properly. im gonna try and set an amount of drafts i want to get done from the fucking archives i have and then..... maybeipostastartercall okay sue me
fingers curl around the glass as the bartender places it in front of her, drinking it down until there was nothing left but ice in the cup, and the employee is already replacing her drink before she has a chance to beck for another. knows she'd be running into deji sometime tonight, and with her being back on good terms with her boyfriend once again, jolene wasn't entirely sure how to navigate it. turning on her heel, her body collides with another, and the smell of familiar cologne overwhelms her senses. because of fucking course, she's bumping into deji right at the bar. what a cliche. "sorry… didn't mean to nearly bulldoze you." / @beingalones
for all attempts to purge jolene from his mind, the universe of course places her right in his path, a cruel reminder of what he certainly won't be letting go of any time soon. on instinct his hands reach out, steadying her before he stands up straighter. he doesn't smile, just acknowledges her apology with a nod. "you're fine." it's not a reassurance, but not a dismissal either. he feels thrown off kilter, because this isn't how he'd wanted this encounter to come about. his hands fall back to his sides and he allows his gaze to trail over her, the brief look of someone who'd done more than just see her naked. "heard the lovebirds made up. you must be overjoyed."
elise hadn't expected to be knocked out of contention for the cup. she'd busted her ass tirelessly on the field every single game so she could hold onto her dream of playing in the final and lifting the trophy, but chelsea's rise to the top had been cut short. stamped out like a fire, and elise's vision for her rookie season had been extinguished with it. just like that as one of their midfielders had taken a deflection in the penalty box and sent the ball spinning into their own net.
elise hadn't left the field for an hour afterwards. she'd simply watched the stands empty and walked the length of the pitch with a ball at her feet. she had felt the weight of the hurt in every stride, but she hadn't let an ounce of it show through her well-practiced neutral expression.
losing fucking hurt but watching georgie achieve the dream that had been hers... well that was a whole fucking cocktail of feelings. jealousy? perhaps. respect? absolutely. a twisted satisfaction that one of them had at least made it even if it should have been both of them fighting it out against one another? no doubt. only one of their teams could lift the cup in the end, but even if it couldn't have been her... she'd at least wanted the opportunity to try and deny georgie herself.
once her dream had been reduced to ashes and man city's place in the final had been secured, she'd pulled out her phone and booked a room at the archetype hotel within minutes. scoring a ticket to the game had been easy. a group of the chelsea players had all attended together, but by the twentieth minute, elise had wanted to be anywhere except the stadium. not because she didn't want to watch, but because she wanted to watch even more intently. no distractions. no chattering and cheering.
she wanted to focus. she wanted to see georgie's face so close that she could see her pulse jumping in her throat. fuck, she'd so desperately wanted to be out there on that pitch, denying her every opportunity. using her strength to negate her speed. taking away her chance to shoot. stopping the ball coming off her fancy red cleats.
the cheer was deafening as the final whistle blew, and elise could still hear the sound of the stadium as she walked back to her hotel. her teammates had a whole night planned, but elise had politely declined having any part of it. she had a plan of her own. a deep and slightly intimidating plan that she wanted to put into action. needed to put into action.
her heart raced as she watched the game all over again in the comfortable quiet of her hotel room, and this time she could take in the details. the swish of georgie's ponytail. the flash of her cleats. the elation. elise felt her own pulse jumping in her neck as the heat sank deeper than her skin.
you were kind of obsessed with me out there.
she tilted her head back against the pillow and tugged up her t-shirt enough to run her nails down the strong lines of her stomach. shaking fingers toyed with the waistband of her training pants. the match continued to play out on the screen.
i was obsessed with you out there.
the notebook. the statistics. how closely she watched georgie's games when she wasn't training for her own. the final thought she had some nights before she succumbed to sleep of georgie leaning in. how easy it would have been to have kissed her.
with an exasperated whine, she threw her hand down against the sheets and focused back on the television screen.
elise watched the game end for a second time. she watched the flashes of light blue as man city celebrated. they were probably going to be celebrating all night long. georgie was probably going to be celebrated for having such an incredible first season. as she deserved.
time seemed to rush yet trickle by all at once, and elise wasn't sure how much time passed before she stood in front of the window looking out at the illuminated streets of the city below. her fingers flexed around the phone in her hand as she went over the words for the thirtieth time in her head.
don't drink. meet me at the archetype hotel. 503.
she watched a couple stumble out of a taxi as her thumb hovered over the send button. i think you’re really pretty. maybe it had dawned on her in the wake of losing a chance at the cup, there had been something else she wanted almost just as much this season. someone. georgie cameron.
she pressed down on the screen.
okay.
nerves rushed over her in an instant. georgie was going to show up. she was going to show up, right? fuck. elise had never even kissed anyone sober, let alone... touched a body that wasn't her own. not that georgie needed to know that. no, she definitely didn't need to know that. elise totally knew what she was doing.
the nerves spiked again when there was a knock on the door some time later. she got up from the bed without a moment of hesitation and glanced at herself in the floor length mirror as she stepped toward the door. for a stupid moment, she'd considered dressing nicer, but that would have been weird, wouldn't it? so she'd stuck with training pants and a dark coloured sports bra after far too much deliberation for such a basic outfit.
her tongue brushed against her lips as her fingers hovered over the door handle. no more chances to back out, and fuck, she didn't want to. there was no pushing down the need.
even though she'd anticipated it, the sight of the other still knocked a soft breath of air out of her chest. there was no subtlety as she ran her eyes down her body, only looking up as she processed georgie's words.
"really?" elise asked, her voice low and level. with one hand still braced on the door, she stepped aside. a flash of heat made her skin prickle. georgie was so good looking. just as gorgeous now as she had been every other time. in every version of out on the pitch or off it. "all i'm interested in doing is congratulating you, cameron." she breathed as she reached for the waistband of georgie's skirt.
strong fingers closed around the leather and pulled georgie toward her. with the other inside the room, she closed the door and used her own body to guide her back against it. elise had barely even realised it, but she was panting softly as she looked down at georgie. her fingers only trembled a little as they flattened against her stomach, slipping ever so slightly beneath her jumper.
now there were no eyes on them. barely any space either. no alcohol clouding the depth of their want. will you come with me back to my room?
her eyes met georgie's before she dipped her head enough to rest her lips right next to the striker's ear. "i need you to do two things." she whispered, heat pouring from her words. "describe how it felt to win. how it felt to fucking score. then tell me..." elise swallowed hard. if you want this too. "tell me if you still feel the same now as you did that night, georgie."
it was in that taxi, that the reality of what she was doing first threatened to catch up with her. the driver, a middle eastern man in his sixties, she figured, was kind. he talked to her, didn't recognise her, but that wasn't that common anyhow. she didn't ask him if he was a football fan. hell, she didn't say much at all except for the pleasantries and the same routine she always did when people heard her accent. from australia? yes. met an australian, once. and then what would follow would be a story that had nothing to do with her, some person from her same part of the world who would be unlikely to recognise her context if they were placed in it.
while he spoke, that was when she felt that first pang of panic, something that had her sitting frozen int he back of that taxi, realising the awkward angle she was sitting at. she was angled towards the door, as if she were incapable of relaxing against the back of the seat. she remained like that, impatient and staring out the window until her arrival.
the second time was in the short moments before the door to elise's hotel room swung open. georgie had stood there on the spotless carpet in the low lit hallway and she'd almost turned on her heel and sprinted back towards the elevators.
she probably could have done it, too. she was fast. everyone knew that. the world knew that.
nothing could have prepared her for the way that the sight of elise on the other sight of that door. the training pants and the sports bra, the slight sheen to the polyester that she knew to be so familiar and yet the way it looked on her... that attempt at smugness was quickly tested.
and of course georgie knew what she was getting herself into. she knew what she'd come to this fucking hotel room for, but something about her already being half undressed while she looked the way she did was so disarming that she struggled with what to say in response. all i'm interested in doing is congratulating you, cameron. "you do?" she hated how dumfounded she sounded, as if it hadn't occurred to her.
(it had! she knew what she was getting herself into!)
it didn't matter, though, because she sounded even more surprised because elise took hold of her by the waistband of her skirt and dragged her further into the room. the door shut behind her and in a swift movement, her back was pressing against the wood. she exhaled her gasp, eyes widening for half a second as she looked back at her.
nothing could have truly prepared her for this, not the fantasies or the times with other girls. and there had been other girls, though not anyone lately and maybe it was for this reason, for the way her pulse quickened just at being touched by elise. she felt herself tremble as her fingers touched the soft skin of her upper torso, pushing underneath her plush sweater. her own hands had pressed against the door by instinct, obedient in a way she probably didn't need to be, led by an instinct she wasn't sure she recognised fully. she wanted to rip the sweater off. she wanted to beg her to do more. her mind had begun to chant and beg touch me touch me touch me.
her breaths were shaky, until elise came close and then she wasn't breathing. she couldn't. her eyes fluttered shut at the sound of that voice in her ear, one she'd imagined in moments alone but never heard quite like this, even if fantasy tried to fabricate it. she blinked, trying to force her mind to catch up enough to put together words, though she faltered for a moment.
"yes. o-of course i feel the same." of course she skipped right to that part, because the very concept of her not feeling it seemed ridiculous. "i'm here. i came. i wouldn't do that just to let you down easy." the laughter she let out was forced, a giggle that just revealed how nervous she was.
georgie dug deep for some of her bravado, clenching her jaw as she swallowed the lump in her throat and then cleared it. if she had to be that girl for elise, she'd be her. "i'm not... i'm not sure i've fully taken it in. the win. the championship. i knew it was ours when we went out there. i just fucking knew." and maybe part of that was because the only person that she'd ever felt remotely intimidated by wasn't on the pitch coming at her as hard as possible. maybe a win meant nothing if it wasn't a win against elise, but that wasn't something she felt she should even try to express. at worst, it would be too much, at best it would seem insincere.
"it was good." she forced it, not wanting to disappoint her with that answer, but choking out more probably wasn't helping. still, her fear that the moment would be taken from her, that this chance would melt away had her reaching for elise's wrists, trying to guide her hands up, her head turning as she tried to lean closer to her, nose brushing her cheek. "magic, i think."
she grins at him, something warm and appreciative in her expression. "trust me, i'm very aware of how wonderful you are to me. it's actually kind of concerning how much i take advantage of it." she's joking, but there's a hint of genuine gratitude there too. when he mentions never having a bad time around her, she feels something flutter in her chest that she immediately pushes down. she clears her throat softly, taking another sip of her drink to cover whatever that was. "well, good. because i never have a bad time around you either." she says it lightly, casually, like it's no big deal even though it feels like more than that. when he mentions a favor, she perks up, grateful for the shift. "yeah, of course. what do you need?" she leans forward again, elbows on the table, giving him her full attention. "please tell me it's something fun and not like, help you grade papers or something. because i will, but i'll complain the entire time."
to the contrary, grayson isn't sure he's ever felt like dylan takes advantage of his kindness. if anything, he wishes she'd do it more, but then he supposed he'd have to confront just how far he'd go and he wasn't sure he was prepared for that conversation. so he smiled and he talked with her and he focused on the topic change he'd introduced. his face contorted into an expression of quizzical amusement, a scoff leaving his lips. "y'know, i appreciate the offer, but i think i can do that by myself." a faint smile remained as he went on, always somehow more cheerful around her than he usually was. "okay, so, my sister leia's birthday is coming up and i am... somehow always abysmal at getting her gifts. i'm trying to remedy the last like, ten years of somehow missing the mark and i figured you probably have a better eye for that kind of thing. would you help me with it, maybe?"
the world narrowed to just this — kate's hand in hers, kate's face so close, those words hanging in the air between them. can you tell how much i want to kiss you? naomi couldn't breathe. her entire body felt like it was vibrating with something she didn't have a name for. want. fear. longing. all of it tangled together until she couldn't tell one feeling from another. and when kate's hand reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear, the gentleness of it nearly undoes her. this was real. this was actually happening. "i—" voice comes out shaky. it was overwhelming, all of it. twenty-eight years of pushing down these feelings, of telling herself it was wrong, of never letting herself even imagine this. and now kate was asking permission. giving her the choice. "yes," naomi whispered, the word escaping before she could second-guess it. her free hand came up, trembling slightly, and touched kate's arm like she needed to make sure this was real. "yes, that would be—" she couldn't finish the sentence. her heart was in her throat, and she was terrified, and she wanted this more than she'd wanted anything in so long. "i'm scared," she admitted, barely audible. but she didn't pull away. she stayed right there, close enough to feel kate's breath.
it was a risk, of course, to address it head on like this. there was a chance of naomi getting scared, of her running from the situation the moment it got a little too real. she held on tightly to it, but didn't push too hard, just kept steady and firm in making her want clear. she heard her breath catch, she saw the way she struggled under the surface, not quite sure what to say, but then she was giving in and kate felt power surge through her. there was something so perfect about it, how she'd thought of her, she'd wanted her and now already it felt like naomi was in her grasp. her head tilted a touch, staring back at her as her eyes softened. she saw her more clearly now, saw how much she wanted this, how much she needed it. kate wasn't surprised to hear her say it, she'd heard it before. i'm scared. "there's nothing to be afraid of, pretty girl." the words were uttered so gently, paired with the back of her fingers caressing her cheek. "i'll go slow." with that, kate leaned in, easing her into it. her nose bumped against naomi's, then she pulled back a touch before leaning in again and this time her lips found the other's. it was slow, like she promised, but she couldn't help herself but tilt her head, deepening it just a little. when she pulled back, she let her eyes remain shut for a moment, opening them to smile softly. "see? you're good at that. it's easy, isn't it?"
bit the bullet and got my oodie out. i gotta make dinner but after that i'm gonna start just filling up my queue with replies for the drafts i'm keeping which i am cutting down just for my own peace of mind + so i can get active on here again now that i'm responsibility free for a month
"seven, maybe eight hours if i fell asleep here instead of going home," and it came out almost like she was considering it. which she wasn't. she wasn't. his fingers moved against her back and femme felt it more than she should have. "bioengineering," turns the word over. it didn't quite fit the version of him she'd constructed, which was — fine. that version had always been deliberately incomplete. "that's not what i expected." wouldn't elaborate on what she had expected. partly because she wasn't sure, and partly because admitting she'd thought about it at all felt like handing something over. "law," she said, in answer to the question he hadn't pushed for, just offered back like something she could take or leave. "everyone assumes it's my dad," she added, and there it was, that slight edge that came in whenever her family did. "like i couldn't have decided that myself." she had decided it herself, mostly. the fact that it also pleased him was incidental. at least, that was what she told herself. "bioengineering though," turns the conversation back to him, pulling it back toward him before he could ask anything else. "so what, you're going to save lives or something?" not quite teasing, but also not quite not.
oliver didn't comment on her point, mostly because well, she was probably right. he didn't have a clear picture of her life outside of the time they spent rolling around in bed together, but he had his assumptions. and maybe, deep down, some part of him figured if he didn't comment on it, she'd stay a little longer. his brows lifted in acknowledgement and the corner of his mouth tilted up, mind swirling with thoughts about what she must have assumed. "what, did you think i was doing something sport related?" his physique sometimes indicated as much to some, but his high school lacrosse days were very much over. "or business?" now, that would have been mr. barton's preference, had oliver ever given his opinion any real credence. now, law was an answer he wasn't surprised at and it was clear from the flash of a knowing smile over his features before he ducked his head against the pillow, trying to hide it. the mention of her father and people's assumptions caught his attention, but he buried it for a moment, chuckling as she brought the conversation back to his major. "you make it sound embarrassing to try and do something noble." he replied, his eyes tracing over her features, searching for amusement. the hand against her back lifted, drawing a curl away from her eyes and behind her ear as he spoke. "but yeah, guess it's something like that." he allowed a beat of silence to pass, somehow not noticing the intimacy of the way he looked at her before he spoke again. "i don't know your dad or anything, but uh, law doesn't surprise me. suits you."
it's too freezing to be on my pc (i'll clean out my heater downstairs so i can actually use it soon...... i'm just lazy) so i'm not on properly but i'm gonna work on my muses + perhaps do a reply or two idk
IVE FINISHED ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS FOR THE SEMESTER ahhhh i can't believe i've done a full term back at uni after 5 years? feels so absolutely weird and wild. i'll be back around tomorrow... if it's not too cold bc i've been sick and pretty bleh, using all my energy to finish off my assessments. it's also finally my birthday month and i am soooo happy about it :3
didn't have time to reply to more than that for rn but i'm hoping to get the rest of my last assignment done tomorrow so i can finally be on again!!!!!
that being said am i gonna need to do a slight reset or like... queue everything so i don't feel overwhelmed? possibly.
twelve-thirty. she did the math without meaning to — her father's driver, twenty minutes if she texted now, less if she used the car she wasn't supposed to have taken tonight. she could be home by one, be in bed by one-fifteen, and in the morning she could field whatever came next with the particular performance of cheerful obliviousness she'd perfected somewhere around age sixteen. she didn't move. "statistics," she repeated instead, and there was something almost fond in it, helpless. "i have a nine am, actually. which i'm going to be completely useless for." femme said it lightly, the way she said most things, like it was a joke she was only half making. her thumb found the edge of his pillowcase and traced it absently, a small restless motion she didn't quite catch herself doing. the voicemails sat on her phone like something with weight. she didn't look at them. "what are you even doing statistics for>" she asked, and it came out more genuinely curious than she intended. less performance, more actual question. she turned her head against the pillow to look at him, and that was probably the wrong move too, because he was right there and it was twelve-thirty and she still hadn't reached for her dress. "what's your major?"
"yeah, seven. the time of day everyone wants to be at a statistics class." oliver said it sarcastically, but admittedly he'd selected the slot himself, thinking somehow it would become a motivating factor for him to have to be up so early. instead he tended to show up to the class with a sweater thrown over the shirt he'd worn to bed and a terrible attitude. coffee helped a little, but he'd never been much of a morning person. mostly because he found it so hard to sleep at the best of times. "nine isn't so bad... could still get, what? seven or eight hours if you were determined to fall asleep in the next half hour." he mused softly, eyes tracing the ceiling for a moment. he could see little marks there, likely from when posters had once been stuck to the white paint that covered it. his room was mostly dark, lit by the light from outside his window shining in and a lamp over by his desk that he'd left on. his gaze slipped back down to her as she spoke again, her question prompting amusement to flood across his features. he'd been holding his breath, just a little, waiting for the moment when she'd announce her impending departure, but there she was, turning around to look at him. the hand now pressing against her lower back splayed out and then his fingers brushed against her skin as he spoke, trying to hide the way her sudden closeness made him want to lean in. "bioengineering." he replied. "do i get to ask for yours?" strange, to be asking such a first date question after sleeping together for as long as they had been.
