A specific source of misunderstanding I've noticed between Matt and Karen throughout the Daredevil series: They've perpetuated a pattern of not expressing, acknowledging, or showing the depth of their feelings for each other to each other. Leading them each to underestimate just how deeply and irrevocably they feel for each other. Given this, I see how they could've separately settled on the same conclusion--that their romantic attraction and attempt at being a couple was a blip, a mutual misjudgment that, to say the least, "didn't pay off." Which in turn probably explains why some of the viewers who don't ship or appreciate them as a romance feel a disconnect from their storyline and romantic framing, particularly post-s2. They agree with the characters and take their "We tried, we failed, it's not meant to be" narrative at face value (especially if they already weren't into Karedevil before they dated only half of each other and had a disastrous breakup), because they share the characters' underestimation of the depth and strength of their attraction and love. Except, we as the audience should and do know better, because we've been privy to all of Matt and Karen's most pure and/or direct expressions of their romantic love for each other and the unique effects they have on each other, that the other isn't aware of, because they occured when the characters weren't in each other's presence.
Karen doesn't know why, before they started dating, Matt kept his glasses on around her as much as possible, and she most likely didn't even notice that was a thing.
Matt emphatically told Elektra that "She is important to me" (2x07). Meanwhile, she was worried that Matt thought less of her because of what she'd said she thinks about Frank Castle's methods.
Frank's "You love him" monologue to Karen (2x11). She wasn't the one saying it, but it's clear that once he was done she couldn't deny it anymore.
Matt had an extended and somewhat debilitating panic attack when Karen was taken hostage by The Hand. Interestingly, since this, I've seen at least two other shows feature the male lead having a panic attack related to fear of losing his love interest (Bridgerton s2 and TWD: The Ones Who Live). But unlike these instances, where the female lead was with him to assure him she's safe and isn't going anywhere--and to witness how damaging her loss could be to him--Matt's attack took place first by himself (in Karen's apartment when he discovered she'd been taken), then in the presence of his ex. And when he did find Karen, it was after he'd calmed down, and it wasn't as Matt, but as Daredevil. So it's only after the fact that Karen had to re-contextualize this interaction (and without knowing about the panic attack).
Karen lamented to Foggy that without Matt in their lives, she no longer felt like she had a home.
Once Karen learned the truth, she wondered aloud to Matt how she could possibly "be this mad at someone who saved my life?" (3x01). His response, that "he's your friend and you cared for him and he broke your trust," while true, could be seen as a passed over opportunity to go deeper, as he downplays (practically erases) their romantic relationship. I mean, Foggy is also his friend who cares for him. While a more intimate trust was broken between him and Karen.
And while his literally heartfelt declaration to her that he doesn't want or need Daredevil anymore can be read as a subtextual love/"I need you" confession, it ended up a broken promise anyway (even though he was as sincere as possible at the time).
Which is why Matt later confesses to Father Lantom that he lied to "Someone I love" (TD 1x01). No need for subtext there. But it's not to the person he's referring to.
After Matt started emerging from his presumed death, he learned that Karen had maintained his apartment and paid his bills--which I'm sure meant a lot to him--but he doesn't know the full extent as to why she did so. He doesn't know that she completely refused to accept he was dead, because she could "feel" that he wasn't. That she searched hospitals. Lit candles for him at church, despite not being Catholic or religious. Obsessed over Midland Circle to the point her boss called it out (TD 1x08; s3). And when he finally revealed himself to her, he did not get a warm, or even openly angry, welcome--she'd already gone through the passionate fury phase right after she found out; now she was icy stillness; almost as if to say, "you have forfeit the right to know just how fucked up I was over your supposed death".
"...she was relieved that he finally came to her. But too stubborn and angry to show it." (D.A.W.)
But he did get a story about Karen's widower neighbor in her hometown who saw no point in talking about his feelings about his wife's recent death (and I'm assuming Matt didn't register that Karen equated herself to a widowed spouse...)--probably feeling that talking about it wouldn't bring her back or undo the car accident, like Karen knew that yelling at Matt wouldn't erase what he'd done or what it put her through. So why bother? But she later indirectly recounted her feelings upon Matt's disappearance to Fisk, in her "poke the bear" tactic.
Most recently, Matt basically malfunctioned right on the stand when he unexpectedly sensed Karen entering the courtroom, in DD:BA's premiere (in somewhat of an inverse of the panic attack). Then there was the "Karen?" heard round the fandom (1x09). Everyone except Karen heard that. But, kind of ironically, this moment's poignancy and meaningfulness resides in the facts that Karen wasn't there, and that Matt hadn't seen or spoken to her since episode 1--there's no other explanation for it other than her automatically being on his mind and in his heart, and him instinctually expressing so at his most vulnerable and mentally unguarded. Then, of course, he didn't tell her--there's still a possibility that he could, but as of now it's yet another of his expressions of how irrevocably in love with her he is that she doesn't know about. As for Karen's end of things, perhaps "You hear mine when I saw you?" is a tip-toe towards more direct expression on her part. It was subtle and subtextual, but it was to him, so that's something. And maybe Matt gets a point for "I'm glad you're back" (iirc before this he'd never told her some version of "I missed you" or an equivalent).
Otherwise, these two are such a peak example of why expressing ourselves to those we care about and have relationships with is so important. Ultimately, people don't know, what we don't know. And we tend to act on, or feel more comfortable/confident acting on, what we do know (i'm not saying anything groundbreaking by mentioning Karen and Matt have been wary of/afraid to Go There again, so of course their lack of certainty around the other's feelings hasn't helped with that). And enhanced senses and the ability to clock physiological responses doesn't equal omniscience. "You don't always know what motivates people..." (3x01).
[p.s.--if you haven't already, you gotta add birdy's "all you never say" to your karedevil playlists
are you uncertain, or just scared to drop your guard?
have you been broken?
are you afraid to show your heart?
life can be unkind, but only sometimes
you're giving up before you start
kianamaiart
pixelskylines
prguitarman
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
