how long will you choke on this love?

[belmused]

BELMUSED: is a private, selective, and low to medium activity multimuse, featuring original and canon characters from various media. currently focusing on gachiakuta and jujutsu kaisen. major themes will include but are not limited to: mistakes that haunt you, love lodged in your throat, grasping your happiness, and the impact one person can have. all ramblings you read are lovingly spoken by bel, she/her & 29.

DISCLAIMER: chiyo is my main muse, so i will often write and talk about her. any bias against original characters will not be tolerated. any bias against femme muses will not be tolerated. please note this blog is not spoiler free, though i will try to be careful for anime-watchers. sensitive topics will always be tagged to the best of my ability. i am duplicate, oc, and crossover-friendly.

NOTICE: i work in an industry that gets progressively busier the hotter the weather gets. during the summer, my activity will be very low, and my capacity to communicate one on one will significantly lower as well. i may be absent from the dash most of the day, where i would typically do most of my yapping and interacting. i may focus more on close friends for threads/asks as they will be my priority and bring me so much joy. please know that my lack of interaction is not a reflection of my interest ever, but especially during this time.

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NO ONE CAN BREAK THE BOND WE SHARE.

astro, candy, goose, hawke ( ❀ ), lee ( ❀ ), lys, miew, quin, ursa ( ❀ ), vee ( ❀ ), yasu

NAVIGATION:

carrd | memes | wishlist | open starters | permanent inbox call | shipping interest

[belmused]

maybe all I needed was to focus on muses who weren’t my big three bc buddy I wanna write alex and sayuri and kaiya so bad… might rough draft the former two’s backgrounds and brainstorm jinki’s during downtime today >:))

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a good girl’s guide to murder just released its second season… hell yeah 💃🏼

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you can’t be mad at me for doing nothing tonight if there’s a cute dog on the screen 🙂

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i’d make that “ am i intimidating ” poll, but we all know the answer

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you think alex has scary dog privileges? no sayuri has scary dog privileges, even if that dog is a scrappy yappy pomeranian

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bringing alex and sayuri back means y’all get to watch someone be completely in love with their completely oblivious counterpart. it also means you might hate me if i kill sayuri off like in her original canon but dw about that. worry about the fact alex grew up with a bunch of older brothers and has resting :| face and zero fear of other people, meanwhile sayuri grew up running around the streets and getting smart very quickly and is soooo loud and laughing until she isn’t. really should be worried when she gets quiet. and yet!! it’s alex who is more likely to start drilling into someone verbally whether that person is clearly dangerous or not. again, she has no fear, and sayuri is the one scruffing her and stepping in a lot of the time :’ )

alex is the one who doesn’t always think logically and is prone to thinking with her heart rather than sayuri whose personality gives the impression she’d be that way. but sayuri has been through a lot more than alex has. she just? had to learn the hard way that hasty actions lead to more grief than good. and sorry to ramble about characters you’ve yet to meet but ohhhhhh i missed them and love them so baaaaad

[belmused]

hmm lil thoughts below since it’s personal, but it’s not necessarily negative! Just thinking about this month and my identity and why I don’t focus too much on that my muses’ identities.

I should do more for pride month but I won’t lie yall. Only friends really know I’m bi bc I don’t trust my family to not be weird about it, and so there’s never been that feeling of “ yahoo!! I’m bi! ” it’s very much “ oh jeez hope I never gotta talk about this bc it’ll suck. ” and I know that’s bad but uh. It is what it is?

But I’ll try to do more at least with my portrayals. I already make everyone bi bc I am adfhj but there’s more that I can do as far as exploring their experiences. I’ve done that a lil with arata and hiro, but I’ll work harder to expand on all that 💜

[belmused]

heading to the hospital bc my mom isn’t allowed to come home yet so!! I’ll see y’all at some point to yap again 💜 mwah 💜

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chiyo won’t let you get away with talking any kind of way to her, but my gosh she won’t leave you or condemn you. like there’s a difference between how she reacts to someone she’s still getting close to vs someone she loves wholeheartedly. she leaves too easily with the former, gets hurt and scared too easily and avoids them. but a loved one gets to see her dig her feet in the ground and stubbornly have that uncomfortable conversation with them. good gosh i love her

[belmused]

btw kaiya is getting moved back to the main roster when I remember to do that bc that’s baby and she’s been desperately trying to wake up for months. If I do revamp and add Alex and sayuri, they’ll be on the main roster, too… lowkey I think I’ve avoided writing women aside from chiyo bc it’s scary to establish them in a space vs men but enough of that! I trust my mutuals to show them the same attention my guys have gotten 💜

[belmused]

the temptation to bring back old oc’s and revamp them for gachi… i need more women on this blog anyway…

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But remember that chiyo is very mindful of preferences and boundaries ☝🏻 if you aren’t down to be touched often, she’ll respect that! And it’ll just make things like hugs and cuddling extra special to her 🙂‍↕️

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my bones ache suddenly but I need you to know. When chiyo’s comfortable and knows you’re okay with her touching you whenever. That woman is going to be on your lap like a cat all the time. She’s cradling your face without hesitation when you look mopey or tired. She’s holding your hand just to hold it. She’s in fact pressing your hand to her cheek absentmindedly and giving it a lil kiss. She’s draping herself over your shoulder to see what you’re up to. She’s sleepily curling up against your side. She’s never not touching you ever again

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chiyo who doesn’t know if her redeeming qualities really outweigh everything she hates about herself, but like hell she’s gonna let someone believe she would love them less just bc they made a mistake. or a hundred. chiyo who doesn’t know if she deserves a love that doesn’t come from her family members bc she’s so difficult to handle, but her hands never hesitate to handle others so delicately, with such care. she makes me ill

[belmused]

I think about howl as some bird creature and Sophie trying to reach him all the time bc OUGH that’s chiyo. So much of that movie is chiyo

[belmused]

Metaphorical beauty and the beast with chiyo but she’s chill with whatever the hell is wrong with the beast. She just won’t have that disrespectful tone or attitude of theirs 🫵🏻