Thoughts & Things

lots of rambling happening over here

[belowyourskin]

One of Matt’s best friends had a baby last year with lots of unexpected complications. Baby is doing well overall but does have some special needs, does lots of therapies, etc.

They have isolated themselves. Initially just to keep the baby healthy, understandably. But nearly a yearly later the friend very much admitted to Matt that seeing everyone’s “normal” kids only reinforces that their kiddo doesn’t get to lead a normal life and that we should expect them to skip every birthday party, cookout, etc. for the rest of forever because it just makes it harder for them.

They have every right to feel that way and can/should do whatever feels right for them. But it breaks my heart. You cannot shut out everyone in your life. You cannot go through all of this by yourselves.

I don’t know what to do. And I’m not going to do anything, really. We will continue to invite and include them but we cannot make them come. We cannot make them accept love and support. We cannot pretend to know what it’s like to be in their shoes.

[belowyourskin]

I just put on a pair of Soffe shorts and stopped to ponder how long I have had them. Minimum, 2006-2007. Senior year. It’s possible it’s been longer, as I’d always throw a couple new pairs into the rotation but some outlived others. I can promise you I haven’t exited my house in them in almost as long. Even then, it was only to play tennis. But why do they still fit?? My high school jeans sure don’t.

The 5pm Alani probably wasn’t my best idea. I’m usually struggling to stay awake near 10pm but I am wide awake right now. I tried the purple cotton candy. I expected to hate it, as I don’t like grape flavored things and I kept seeing people compare it to Dimetapp, which was my mom’s cough medicine of choice for us. It wasn’t bad. Too sweet, or artificially sweet, but I didn’t mind the flavor. Lime Slush is still the best.

We have a cookout to attend tomorrow and another on the fourth. Tomorrow I’m bringing a peach and corn salad (sounds weird but it’s so good - fresh corn cut off the cob, peaches, avocado, red onion, jalapeño. cilantro, a honey lime vinaigrette). The other I’m making a no bake cheesecake with strawberries and bringing my two big drink dispensers to do Shirley temples and mint/strawberry water. Everybody loves a fancy drink (it’s at my in-laws which means no actual drinking will occur).

[belowyourskin]

The daycare incident reports crack me up.

“E was playing with a toy. A friend tried to take the toy. E wasn’t ready to share so the friend bit her on the arm. We cleaned the bite and talked to our friend about…”

Aka: Your kid sucks at sharing but the other kid sucks at not getting their way.

[belowyourskin]

We did go to the zoo on Saturday morning. It ended up being the perfect little half-day trip; we got there right after they opened and walked the whole zoo in a little over an hour. It was empty and not too hot yet. We made a pit stop on the way home at an Amish store to grab coffee (actually I ended up getting matcha and it was the best one I’ve ever had - Matt took one sip and was like okay nevermind just go get another) and a couple things. E was worn out but stayed awake for the hour ride and saved her nap for when we got home. It thunderstormed all afternoon which let us be super lazy and not feel bad about it.

Sunday we did church, E’s nap, Matt’s papaw’s house, and then ended up going out to eat with L&T and D&M. I wanted to turn down the dinner invite - it was already 6pm, E needed a bath before bed, we’ve eaten out a bunch lately, I’m not really crazy about the place they wanted to go - BUT I’m trying to do better about saying yes. I’m quick to squash things because they don’t align perfectly with my plans. These are some of my favorite people and we often only spend time with them in a larger group setting. And while my kiddo was getting restless in the restaurant, she hung in there and was only a couple minutes late to bed.

[belowyourskin]

I think I’m going to suggest we go to the zoo in the morning. There is a small-ish zoo just under an hour away. Matt and I went years ago, I’m sure the tiny tot would enjoy it. They open at 9 so if we got there at opening, we’d have a solid 2.5-3 hours to wander before it would be naptime and/or getting too hot out.

I aspire to be a family that takes cute little day/weekend trips. I’m not really spontaneous but moreso, Matt’s work schedule doesn’t really allow for it, as he’s only off one weekend a month most of the time. But he’s off for six weeks post-surgery so we need to take advantage. I don’t want to get to August and realize we spent every weekend at home.

ETA: Also how crazy that I made this plan in my head and then Timehop showed me that our one and only trip to the same place was on this very date, ten years ago.

[belowyourskin]

My MIL wanted E to come to VBS all week at MIL’s dad’s church. It’s a tradition, all of the great-grandchildren go every year. Even the few that don’t live here come visit that specific week to attend. It’s a small church and everyone is older so our crew makes up most of the VBS clientele.

Anyway. Totally fine with her going. But it’s 7-9 every evening and she goes to bed at 8. So we’ve let her go for the first half and then go pick her up early. By the time we get her out of there and home and changed, she’s going to bed at 8:30. Not stressed about 30 minutes, we’ve done it before, it’s fine. She has been ON ONE all week though and I tend to wonder if those 30 minutes on consecutive days are just pushing her over the edge, as she doesn’t sleep any later in the morning to make it up. We’ll finish out the week but if she goes back to normal next week then we will be revisiting the attendance of future evening activities, lol. 

[belowyourskin]

E hadn’t even been at daycare for an hour before they messaged that she had a fever. She did not in fact have a fever when I got her home within 30 minutes of the message. 🤷🏼‍♀️ She was a little fussy earlier but seems fine otherwise. I slept terribly and had a sore throat this morning so maybe something was up. I could have still worked since Matt is off after surgery but I didn’t have anything scheduled and knew I was just going to have a killer headache, so I took off. And promptly took a two hour nap when she did.

[belowyourskin]

the male brain, folks

Me: Why do you have earbuds in?

Husband: I’m listening to an audiobook.

Me: But you have the tv on?

Husband: I’m watching golf.

Me: But the volume is on.

Husband: Yeah? Background noise.

[belowyourskin]

I ran a couple solo errands this morning and it was glorious. Strolled through Target at a very leisurely pace with coffee in hand. It was much needed.

We got Chipotle for lunch and it was so good. Bonus that I have the other half for lunch tomorrow. Thankfully the nearest one is 30 minutes away because while I try not to eat out a lot, it’s one place I’m never going to turn down.

We have a birthday party to attend tonight and zero weekend plans. We’ll have to find something to do, the husband had carpal tunnel surgery this week and is already getting mopey with all of the sitting around.

[belowyourskin]

I am a sucker for a limited edition / viral / highly sought after beverage. Doubled up on the creamer because I am anticipating it being perfection which means I’ll likely never see it again.

[belowyourskin]

This is my semi public declaration that if my husband doesn’t come home with a coffee for me.. then he’s not nearly as cool as I give him credit for.

He’s doing a random golf-related errand. I looked on Life 360 to see where it was located. It literally shares a parking lot with a 7 Brew. A coffee establishment that our town does not possess. Don’t fail me now.

—

ETA: He did not get a coffee on his own BUT he had just exited the parking lot when he called me about something else and I said “I know you did not drive past 7 brew and not stop” and he was like “ummmm so I’m turning around now”. Of course it wasn’t even good. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[belowyourskin]

I’m in a group chat where an outing is being arranged and I literally don’t know if I’m not supposed to be in this text or if I am and I’m just supposed to assume I’m invited. The other three people were likely all together at a function over the weekend (the weird grad party for someone’s nephew, I did not attend) so the text just sort of picked up as “Did we pick a day? Let’s do A or B?”. One person responded saying they could only do one of the two.

At that point I assumed this was them telling me they made this plan and I was invited. We all used to work together and it’s very much a “the plans never make it out of the group text” sort of thing. But then the person who initiated the text called out the third person by name, like “Name? You good with that too?”. Nothing to/about me. So now I feel like she used the wrong text thread. And hasn’t noticed. She’s always been terrible at that - she used to text our boss complaining ABOUT our boss. Of course at this point even if I am actually made to sound included I will feel like it’s a cover for realizing what she did.

Anyway. Just another crappy feeling on top of a lot of other crappy feelings lately.

[belowyourskin]

I’ve eaten terrible the last few days. Very snacky, eating just to eat, definitely not eating anything great. Part PMS, part bad day, part I don’t know.

I’ve been overweight for a million years but I’ve really never had bad food habits. Not amazing or super clean, but not inherently bad.

Just feeling gross and all up in my head today.

[belowyourskin]

One of my very favorite people is pregnant (with twins!) (it’s very, very early!) (so we are sending all of the good vibes!) and that was the sort of good news I needed today.

I’ve been cranky. My kid has been cranky. It rained half the day. But babies?? Babies!

[belowyourskin]

Lol well sounds like a deal

[belowyourskin]

A funny thing E had started doing is using “more” as a placeholder for not knowing what something is called.

While eating lunch she kept saying “more” (and doing the sign for it 🥹) but she had some of each thing left on her plate so I was confused. She clearly had a specific thing in mind but I wasn’t about to take every single option out if the fridge/pantry.

We were in the pool and she started saying “more” again. It dawned on me that last night Matt kept throwing her in the air and catching her. She thought it was hilarious and kept asking for more. She remembered it today and obviously didn’t know how to say ‘throw me like dad does’. 

[belowyourskin]

Weird invite. Actually the invite isn’t weird, the function is weird. An old friend is hosting a (high school) graduation party for her nephew and his girlfriend. It’s at a local rec center with a pool.

Her nephew lives three hours away. He is not from here. He has never lived here. Her parents and brother (his dad) and other family are here so I get wanting to celebrate him. But it seems a little weird to also invite your own friends who have never met him. I feel a little funny gifting monetarily to someone I literally couldn’t pick out of a crowd. Let alone his girlfriend. Not that gifts are expected but like, come on, yes they are.

Then she added details on the Facebook invite that say the party will be inside from 11:30-3 and then we’ll move outside to use the pool until they close at 5. Umm that’s a really long party dude. And how are you going to tell the younger kids they have to wait 3.5 hours to use the pool?

I offen ignore Facebook invites by accident anyway but then she text me asking if E and I were going to come. Ummm no. Made something up.