Lights, Camera, Action!

Ben Maxx | Filmmaker | Practical Effects enthusiast

[ben-maxxing]

Hello Hello and a pleasure to be meeting you!

Th’name’s Ben Maxx. I’m a filmmaker above all, but I’m also the practical effects master at the local playhouse. So, if you ever need a bat on some fishing wire, you know I’m the man to call! Heh, just kidding. We can do you way better than that!

Now, can I help you with anything? Or are you just in for a chat?

(Ooc under cut)

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The Man, The Myth, The. . . Avatar?

(a.k.a. another blog from yours truly, @era-of-ages)

Ben Maxx has pulled in the station! The thing about Ben is he isn’t actually an avatar of anything! But he’d love to convince you he is! He’s an expert with practical effects, magic tricks, and mind games and wants to know test just how good at this he is. So let’s put it to the test, shall we? Do you really know what’s real and what’s not?

In case the deceit and trickery did not make it clear, Ben is marked by the web, but he doesn’t know it. This makes him rather good at convincing people of his illusions, which he chalks up to his skill and charm.

//I THRIVE ON INTERACTIONS!!! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE TALK TO THE SILLY GOOSE!!!

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RULES:

- no NSFW please! Not my thing really.

- You can be mean to Ben, honestly he’s cocky enough he’s earned it. Be nice to mod though I have delicate sensibilities.

- magic anons are ALLOWED! Put that man in a situation!!!

- This character is open to ✨ROMANCE✨ if for some reason you see fit that this man needs a date!

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Dialogue guide!

Ben speaks in plain text

Purple text indicates Web Influence

[Actions will be in between brackets]

[Ben’s thoughts will be italicized between brackets]

Chat font generally indicates an e-message or written text!

(Ooc comments are generally put in the tags indicated by “//“. If an entire post is OOC it will be tagged as such)

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Tag guide!

#ben-maxxing - general tag

#roll film! - rp start

#thats a wrap! -rp end

#ben-hind the scenes - Ooc tag. Will probably also tag with #ooc

(I will also tag with what Fear he is posing as if he is doing so. Ex. #desolation, #lonely, et cetera)

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For reference, he looks like this:

(Better pictures to come in the future)

[the-key-to-bernadette]

// open rp //

[The shadows seemed off... they seemed to spike at unnatual angles and shift and move oddly. They only get worse the closer you get to a figure in a black trench coat who was holding their shoulder and leaning heavily on a wall.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben had been walking home, and noticed the shadows. He took out his camera, hoping to get an interesting shot when he noticed the figure. As he stepped closer, he dropped the camera entirely]

Bernadette? Is that you?

Are you alright?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[The closer he got to them, the darker the world around them seemed to become. Bernadette shifted when they heard their name and thats when their shadow moved. It looked like a monster.]

[ben-maxxing]

Ah-!

[He put up his hands defensively]

It’s me! It’s Ben! I swear!

It’s just me!

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they give Ben a small wave and an attempt at a smile. They had to keep up their happy persona after all]

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives them an odd look]

Are you alright? You seem a little overwhelmed.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Right.. overwhelmed...]

[They nodded and waved their hand like It was no big deal. That was untill hissed and gripped their shoulder]

[ben-maxxing]

Oh shit, you’re hurt. Do we need to get you to a hospital?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They took a step away from ben and and glanced around nervously before the light around them grew Dimmer]

[ben-maxxing]

Oh, okay no hospital? Definitely no hospital. Right. Got it. Just-

[He hesitates. He really doesn’t want to scare them]

Can I take a look at it at least? I know some basic first aid.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They hesitated for a bit, then they nodded. They took a hesitant few steps towards ben]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes some gauze from his coat. Not professional grade, but it would work.]

Alright, can you move your coat a bit? Just so I can put it on properly.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they nodded and moved their jacket. The shadows around them started to swirl a bit]

[ben-maxxing]

[He got a better look at her shoulder and gasped, starting to carefully bandage it up]

What in the world happened?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Their monster of a shadow got shot by a small figure with a gun and they winced.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave them a look of shock and sympathy]

Damn. . . performer’s luck at its finest I suppose.

[He finishes bandaging them up]

Right, I’d be careful with that. It’s by no means professional, I’ve never really dressed a bullet wound before, but it should be at least manageable.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They leaned on ben with a shaky sigh before they signed]

Thank you.

[ben-maxxing]

[He kept them supported]

Of course!

Need a ride home? Or- what exactly is your plan for this?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

I was trying to find my one of my brothers.

[They signed before standing up straight and looking around]

No idea where they are

[ben-maxxing]

Oh? Who are they?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

C J, K E A Y and G E R A R D K E A Y

[They signed]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. . . I suppose I don’t know them. Kieran might, they seem to know everyone. They’ve always “got a guy for that.”

[He thinks for a moment]

I could help you look for them, but you also ought to rest. I can’t imagine being shot is all too good a state to be running around in.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

getting shot is not good. I would like to rest. Don't know where though.

[They wiped off their bloody hand on their coat]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben lights up]

You could stay in the theater if you’d like! There’s a small space backstage we set up for one of our crew leads. She’s a bit of an insomniac and falls asleep quite often. But we’ve certainly got a space!

I’m pretty sure I left some microphones on anyway.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they gave ben a greatful smile and nodded]

That would be nice. Thank you.

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes them back to the theater and to a small room behind the stage.]

There we are. You rest here for a bit. If you need anything I’ll be up in the rafters. Think I might cut the trip home short and get around to solving that wiring issue we’ve been having.

[He starts up a ladder just outside the room]

Oh! And a drink cabinet if you fancy it!

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they waited untill he was gone before they began to dig through the drink cabinet]

[ben-maxxing]

[They’d find a variety of teas, coffee blends, and other drinks. In the rafters they could hear quiet shuffling, wheels on a metal track, and occasionally Ben whispering to himself and several “dammits” after dropping tools]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They hummed and chose not to grab anything to drink before they made themself comfortable]

[ben-maxxing]

[After a while, there was a single “FUCK!” followed by a loud crash on the stage]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They sat up and rushed out of the room to see what happened and to check if ben was okay. They hurt their shoulder again in the process though]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben was hanging from the rafters by one hand from a thick stand of what almost looked like spider silk, a shattered stage light on the stage beneath him. He let out a long sigh but jumped when he saw Bernadette run out.]

Oh! Gosh I’m so sorry! I got so focused I nearly forgot you were here! Trying to change one of the old incandescents and one of the bolts snapped!

Are you alright? Hope I didn’t scare you too much.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They looked like they wanted to curse him out and flipped him off before going back to their room]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighed, going to pick up all the pieces. It wasn’t that broken. It could still be repaired. He looked around the room. There was a lot around here that could be repaired. . .]

[After about an hour he comes back in, his clothes dusty from the rafters. He waves nervously]

I really am sorry about the noise earlier. I uh. . . are you feeling any better?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they gave him a dirty look, then nodded. They had their arms crossed and they were pouting]

[ben-maxxing]

Bern, really, I am sorry. It was an accident.

Can I make it up to you somehow?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they shrugged]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

Well, it’s all done with now. Hopefully I don’t have to mess with that light cage for another few years.

Ah, and speaking of lights. How does that work for you? If you were to do a show for the kids’ program? I know some Dark avatars are rather sensitive to it. Should we cut the brighter of the stage lights?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Right. Lights. They hadn't thought about this. That also hasn't been on a stage since their becoming]

Don't know. Need light for shadows, sunlight doesn't-

[They looked down at their outfit which shielded their body from the sun]

Never mind. Should probably test it first

[ben-maxxing]

Right! How about you pop up to the front of the stage and we’ll run a few tests. I’ll test them gradually, don’t worry. I won’t flash bang you.

[He starts for the ladder again to his rafters]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They nodded and made their way to center stage to wait for ben to do his thing]

[ben-maxxing]

[He makes his way up to the rafters and angles all the lights towards them]

Right! The big spotlight first. I’ll turn it up gradually, just give me a signal when it’s too bright!

[He turns the light on very gradually, careful to watch their reaction]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Theyre pretty fine with most of the levels of light. Since their clothes covered most of their body, but they did look lile they were starting to feel.. pain?]

[The spotlight went out]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben looks at it with concern for a second before realizing Bernadette had turned it off. He makes a small note]

Right! That’ll do! We can measure the rest from there! Oh, except the black light! Mind if we test that as well?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they nodded and dug around in their pockets for their makeup to hide the pink burn the lights had caused]

[ben-maxxing]

[The theater goes dark, then, a very dim purple light shines on the stage]

Everything alright down there? Flash this one once for yes, twice for no. I

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[sylbanusthegreat]

But what if they come back?

As soon as you leave me for one second, they'll come back, I'm sure of it.

[ben-maxxing]

[He thinks a moment]

Well you’re certainly welcome in the theater should you need a break, but otherwise, you don’t have to listen to them. Whatever bad things they say will happen, challenge them. Why is it so very important that people watch you anyway? What happens if people stop watching? This is your narrative after all, so make it fit your style.

[sylbanusthegreat]

...wait..

What, exactly, does happen when people stop watching?

All they've said is bad things, but what actually happens?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, as someone without an audience, nothing earth-shatteringly horrible has happened to me yet. I think you ought to find out.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..yeah.

[he takes a deep breath]

I think I will.

[ben-maxxing]

Do tell me what you find out!

[sylbanusthegreat]

I will.

What if I don't like what I find?

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose you’ll have to start looking for solutions then.

[sylbanusthegreat]

How do I find solutions?

[ben-maxxing]

Depends on your problem.

[sylbanusthegreat]

So I just..

Dance through life, without listening to any influences?

[ben-maxxing]

Not quite, Scarecrow. It’s a little more complicated.

But for the time being, let’s focus on your problem. You don’t know what’s going to happen if the audience stops watching. So you couldn’t possibly think of a solution to it. So find out what happens first!

[the-key-to-bernadette]

// open rp //

[The shadows seemed off... they seemed to spike at unnatual angles and shift and move oddly. They only get worse the closer you get to a figure in a black trench coat who was holding their shoulder and leaning heavily on a wall.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben had been walking home, and noticed the shadows. He took out his camera, hoping to get an interesting shot when he noticed the figure. As he stepped closer, he dropped the camera entirely]

Bernadette? Is that you?

Are you alright?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[The closer he got to them, the darker the world around them seemed to become. Bernadette shifted when they heard their name and thats when their shadow moved. It looked like a monster.]

[ben-maxxing]

Ah-!

[He put up his hands defensively]

It’s me! It’s Ben! I swear!

It’s just me!

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they give Ben a small wave and an attempt at a smile. They had to keep up their happy persona after all]

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives them an odd look]

Are you alright? You seem a little overwhelmed.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Right.. overwhelmed...]

[They nodded and waved their hand like It was no big deal. That was untill hissed and gripped their shoulder]

[ben-maxxing]

Oh shit, you’re hurt. Do we need to get you to a hospital?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They took a step away from ben and and glanced around nervously before the light around them grew Dimmer]

[ben-maxxing]

Oh, okay no hospital? Definitely no hospital. Right. Got it. Just-

[He hesitates. He really doesn’t want to scare them]

Can I take a look at it at least? I know some basic first aid.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They hesitated for a bit, then they nodded. They took a hesitant few steps towards ben]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes some gauze from his coat. Not professional grade, but it would work.]

Alright, can you move your coat a bit? Just so I can put it on properly.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they nodded and moved their jacket. The shadows around them started to swirl a bit]

[ben-maxxing]

[He got a better look at her shoulder and gasped, starting to carefully bandage it up]

What in the world happened?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Their monster of a shadow got shot by a small figure with a gun and they winced.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave them a look of shock and sympathy]

Damn. . . performer’s luck at its finest I suppose.

[He finishes bandaging them up]

Right, I’d be careful with that. It’s by no means professional, I’ve never really dressed a bullet wound before, but it should be at least manageable.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They leaned on ben with a shaky sigh before they signed]

Thank you.

[ben-maxxing]

[He kept them supported]

Of course!

Need a ride home? Or- what exactly is your plan for this?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

I was trying to find my one of my brothers.

[They signed before standing up straight and looking around]

No idea where they are

[ben-maxxing]

Oh? Who are they?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

C J, K E A Y and G E R A R D K E A Y

[They signed]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. . . I suppose I don’t know them. Kieran might, they seem to know everyone. They’ve always “got a guy for that.”

[He thinks for a moment]

I could help you look for them, but you also ought to rest. I can’t imagine being shot is all too good a state to be running around in.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

getting shot is not good. I would like to rest. Don't know where though.

[They wiped off their bloody hand on their coat]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben lights up]

You could stay in the theater if you’d like! There’s a small space backstage we set up for one of our crew leads. She’s a bit of an insomniac and falls asleep quite often. But we’ve certainly got a space!

I’m pretty sure I left some microphones on anyway.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they gave ben a greatful smile and nodded]

That would be nice. Thank you.

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes them back to the theater and to a small room behind the stage.]

There we are. You rest here for a bit. If you need anything I’ll be up in the rafters. Think I might cut the trip home short and get around to solving that wiring issue we’ve been having.

[He starts up a ladder just outside the room]

Oh! And a drink cabinet if you fancy it!

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they waited untill he was gone before they began to dig through the drink cabinet]

[ben-maxxing]

[They’d find a variety of teas, coffee blends, and other drinks. In the rafters they could hear quiet shuffling, wheels on a metal track, and occasionally Ben whispering to himself and several “dammits” after dropping tools]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They hummed and chose not to grab anything to drink before they made themself comfortable]

[ben-maxxing]

[After a while, there was a single “FUCK!” followed by a loud crash on the stage]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They sat up and rushed out of the room to see what happened and to check if ben was okay. They hurt their shoulder again in the process though]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben was hanging from the rafters by one hand from a thick stand of what almost looked like spider silk, a shattered stage light on the stage beneath him. He let out a long sigh but jumped when he saw Bernadette run out.]

Oh! Gosh I’m so sorry! I got so focused I nearly forgot you were here! Trying to change one of the old incandescents and one of the bolts snapped!

Are you alright? Hope I didn’t scare you too much.

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They looked like they wanted to curse him out and flipped him off before going back to their room]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighed, going to pick up all the pieces. It wasn’t that broken. It could still be repaired. He looked around the room. There was a lot around here that could be repaired. . .]

[After about an hour he comes back in, his clothes dusty from the rafters. He waves nervously]

I really am sorry about the noise earlier. I uh. . . are you feeling any better?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they gave him a dirty look, then nodded. They had their arms crossed and they were pouting]

[ben-maxxing]

Bern, really, I am sorry. It was an accident.

Can I make it up to you somehow?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[they shrugged]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

Well, it’s all done with now. Hopefully I don’t have to mess with that light cage for another few years.

Ah, and speaking of lights. How does that work for you? If you were to do a show for the kids’ program? I know some Dark avatars are rather sensitive to it. Should we cut the brighter of the stage lights?

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Right. Lights. They hadn't thought about this. That also hasn't been on a stage since their becoming]

Don't know. Need light for shadows, sunlight doesn't-

[They looked down at their outfit which shielded their body from the sun]

Never mind. Should probably test it first

[ben-maxxing]

Right! How about you pop up to the front of the stage and we’ll run a few tests. I’ll test them gradually, don’t worry. I won’t flash bang you.

[He starts for the ladder again to his rafters]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[They nodded and made their way to center stage to wait for ben to do his thing]

[ben-maxxing]

[He makes his way up to the rafters and angles all the lights towards them]

Right! The big spotlight first. I’ll turn it up gradually, just give me a signal when it’s too bright!

[He turns the light on very gradually, careful to watch their reaction]

[the-key-to-bernadette]

[Theyre pretty fine with most of the levels of light. Since their clothes covered most of their body, but they did look lile they were starting to feel.. pain?]

[The spotlight went out]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben looks at it with concern for a second before realizing Bernadette had turned it off. He makes a small note]

Right! That’ll do! We can measure the rest from there! Oh, except the black light! Mind if we test that as well?

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[sylbanusthegreat]

But what if they come back?

As soon as you leave me for one second, they'll come back, I'm sure of it.

[ben-maxxing]

[He thinks a moment]

Well you’re certainly welcome in the theater should you need a break, but otherwise, you don’t have to listen to them. Whatever bad things they say will happen, challenge them. Why is it so very important that people watch you anyway? What happens if people stop watching? This is your narrative after all, so make it fit your style.

[sylbanusthegreat]

...wait..

What, exactly, does happen when people stop watching?

All they've said is bad things, but what actually happens?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, as someone without an audience, nothing earth-shatteringly horrible has happened to me yet. I think you ought to find out.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..yeah.

[he takes a deep breath]

I think I will.

[ben-maxxing]

Do tell me what you find out!

[sylbanusthegreat]

I will.

What if I don't like what I find?

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose you’ll have to start looking for solutions then.

[sylbanusthegreat]

How do I find solutions?

[ben-maxxing]

Depends on your problem.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[sylbanusthegreat]

But what if they come back?

As soon as you leave me for one second, they'll come back, I'm sure of it.

[ben-maxxing]

[He thinks a moment]

Well you’re certainly welcome in the theater should you need a break, but otherwise, you don’t have to listen to them. Whatever bad things they say will happen, challenge them. Why is it so very important that people watch you anyway? What happens if people stop watching? This is your narrative after all, so make it fit your style.

[sylbanusthegreat]

...wait..

What, exactly, does happen when people stop watching?

All they've said is bad things, but what actually happens?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, as someone without an audience, nothing earth-shatteringly horrible has happened to me yet. I think you ought to find out.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..yeah.

[he takes a deep breath]

I think I will.

[ben-maxxing]

Do tell me what you find out!

[sylbanusthegreat]

I will.

What if I don't like what I find?

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose you’ll have to start looking for solutions then.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[sylbanusthegreat]

But what if they come back?

As soon as you leave me for one second, they'll come back, I'm sure of it.

[ben-maxxing]

[He thinks a moment]

Well you’re certainly welcome in the theater should you need a break, but otherwise, you don’t have to listen to them. Whatever bad things they say will happen, challenge them. Why is it so very important that people watch you anyway? What happens if people stop watching? This is your narrative after all, so make it fit your style.

[sylbanusthegreat]

...wait..

What, exactly, does happen when people stop watching?

All they've said is bad things, but what actually happens?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, as someone without an audience, nothing earth-shatteringly horrible has happened to me yet. I think you ought to find out.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..yeah.

[he takes a deep breath]

I think I will.

[ben-maxxing]

Do tell me what you find out!

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[sylbanusthegreat]

But what if they come back?

As soon as you leave me for one second, they'll come back, I'm sure of it.

[ben-maxxing]

[He thinks a moment]

Well you’re certainly welcome in the theater should you need a break, but otherwise, you don’t have to listen to them. Whatever bad things they say will happen, challenge them. Why is it so very important that people watch you anyway? What happens if people stop watching? This is your narrative after all, so make it fit your style.

[sylbanusthegreat]

...wait..

What, exactly, does happen when people stop watching?

All they've said is bad things, but what actually happens?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, as someone without an audience, nothing earth-shatteringly horrible has happened to me yet. I think you ought to find out.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[sylbanusthegreat]

But what if they come back?

As soon as you leave me for one second, they'll come back, I'm sure of it.

[ben-maxxing]

[He thinks a moment]

Well you’re certainly welcome in the theater should you need a break, but otherwise, you don’t have to listen to them. Whatever bad things they say will happen, challenge them. Why is it so very important that people watch you anyway? What happens if people stop watching? This is your narrative after all, so make it fit your style.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

I don't know what I want.

[ben-maxxing]

Well there’s never a better time than now to start figuring that out! Go try some new things! You might enjoy them.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[sylbanusthegreat]

..how do you leave the show.. ?

Be yourself, without any character?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, there is no human being in existence without some sort of character. When I’m off the stage, I’m just Ben. I’m dramatic, resourceful, and perhaps a little pretentious. It’s just how I am. Sure I play into it and exaggerate a bit because I find it fun, but it’s not a character I have to really play.

So what about you? In the show you’re Sylbanus, a showrunner, strait-laced and the picture perfect main character. What about outside of it?

[ben-maxxing]

Ben maxxing more like Ben minimizing

Oi!!! Is this some sort of short joke?! I swear I’ll-!

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[still laughing]

I really don't get you.

Anyway, how are you still alive if you died?

[ben-maxxing]

Well, the Web isn’t done with me yet. It likes lies. Twisting the belief of other people into whatever it likes. So it really, really loves the theatre. I can make people believe whatever I want on that stage. I could tell them we’re on a Greek island and for those precious few hours they don’t doubt me for a moment. It’s a very easy source of fear to draw from. You don’t know that the actor on set is named Charlie or that after this scene he’ll be down in the green room getting congratulated on his performance. You just see a lone soldier dying on a battlefield where a spotlit sun bathes him in the last sunlight he’s ever granted to see. And you believe with your whole heart that he is dead.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he couldn't help but giggle]

...what is your life?

[ben-maxxing]

That of a showman! It’s an odd one but I don’t think anything else would quite work for me.

[ben-maxxing]

https://www.tumblr.com/hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard/821622369429880832/found-backstage-at-my-local-theatre?source=share

We have that sign! Paige says it’s “graphic” and “ridiculous” but I think it’s an appropriate warning.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he grins slightly]

Oh? What's the craziest thing you've done for one?

[ben-maxxing]

Besides dying? Ohhh that is an excellent question. We chased a colony of bats out once, I had a week to teach a near-rabid chihuahua how to dance on stage, I’ve broken limbs, wired up enough lights to blackout the whole street. Theres a lot.

[ben-maxxing]

[there was a man wandering around, seemingly lost]

@sylbanusthegreat

[Ben glances down from the rafters, dropping down on a thick wire that almost looked like a spiderweb]

Oh hello! Lost, I presume?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[high pitched little squeal of surprise.]

Sorry-

I didn't realize you were there..

[ben-maxxing]

Oh that’s alright! I’m not easy to find if you don’t know where to look.

[He lets go of the wire and offers a hand and a small bow]

Ben Maxx, at your service.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he shakes Ben's hand. His hand was really sweaty.]

Syl-

Sylbanus smith..

[ben-maxxing]

Syl! Well it’s a pleasure to meet you!

[He looks a little concerned when he shakes his hand]

Are you feeling quite alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah-

Why-

Why wouldn't I be?

[ben-maxxing]

[He shrugs]

You just feel a bit clammy is all.

Do you wander like this often? Or is this theater just special?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I wander all the time..

It helps me think.

[ben-maxxing]

I really do have to start locking the doors when I come in. . .

Regardless, welcome, I suppose! Are you much into theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You have theaters in this world.. ?

That's weird-

Sorry, I'm being mean.

[ben-maxxing]

[He gives him an odd look]

This world?

And no, not mean at all. Curious though. Care to elaborate?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Well..

We're all part of a show, after all.

[ben-maxxing]

And how does that relate? You’re right of course, but is this metaphor or are you being literal?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Literal .. ?

[ben-maxxing]

I mean, I suppose if that’s how you cope with the universe that’s your business. But there’s no imaginary audience watching over all of our lives, really.

[sylbanusthegreat]

N-

No, you don't get it..

Yes there is..

We need to satisfy them..

[ben-maxxing]

I. . .

[He looks around for a moment]

Are you quite alright? You do realize there’s no one here but you and I?

[sylbanusthegreat]

You can't see them..

You're just an actor..

But believe me..

They exist.

[ben-maxxing]

Truly? What exactly is it they want?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Someone relatable.

[ben-maxxing]

Relatable to whom? There’s a lot of people on earth. What demographic are they looking for?

[sylbanusthegreat]

As many people as possible..

[he was just mimicking what the narrator always told them]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben sits down on the stage and chuckles a bit]

That’s a bit of a hard demographic to reach I’m afraid. That’s why they invented genres.

You don’t seem to happy about this. How exactly did you end up with this audience anyhow?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I don't know..

I just came like this.

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben gave him a sympathetic look. There was clearly something wrong with this young man. He was trapped in the logic of a play, and the only way he was going to be able to help was to play along. Luckily, he was very good at playing along]

Well, have you got a producer we can speak to? Having you do this all the time is a violation of labor laws you know.

[sylbanusthegreat]

Tell that to the voice...

The narrator, I've heard them be called.

[ben-maxxing]

Oh?

[He tilts his head, spinning a card between his fingers, held between two silk strings. Spiders silk]

Do they speak to anyone but you? Or am I not permitted beyond the fourth wall?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

I'm not sure..

[Ben hears a voice in his head]

[You wanted to talk?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He takes a small breath, getting into character. He gives a small nod to Sylvanus, indicating that he now heard the narrator]

I did. Care to explain your presence in my theater?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[he takes a shaky breath in, staying silent]

[The audience likes meta humour.]

[they reply]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. That they do. And what audience is that? From what this man here as explained to me you are looking to please everyone. What about those that don’t like meta humor? Do you not cater to them?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Based on our statistics, most people like meta humour.]

[ben-maxxing]

Mm. And what exactly has this—excuse me for saying—rather vanilla-ish man done to be so so special in the eyes of your audience? Shouldn’t someone like you want a showstopper?

[He shuffled cards rather showily between his hands, occasionally doing a trick]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[oh, just wait until we get to the climax..

He's perfect.]

[ben-maxxing]

[Ben stands, now wandering around the stage. This was going to be fun]

Oh I’m certain, but you can’t base your whole story on your climax. Characters are the most important part, don’t you know? A good character can save a terrible story, but one with no defining flaws? No standout traits? One meant to fit in every box? Tsk tsk tsk. Even the best stories can run flat with a dull character.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[And how, exactly, is Sylbanus dull?]

[ben-maxxing]

[He leans rather dramatically against the side of the stage]

Ohhhh I don’t know. Cis straight white man, blond hair, being tormented by needing to be perfect for everyone? Where’s the, y’know-

[He does a flashy hand gesture]

Dramatic flair?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[but he's relatable.

Everyone can see themself in him]

[ben-maxxing]

So he’s a nobody? Generates no interest and does no interesting things because it would ruin his relatability? I hate to tell you, but you would absolutely fail in theatre. Or any true media at all. You’re a farce and a coward, my friend. And, unfortunately, very very dull.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[then why does it sell so well?

Why did so many people come to my show?]

[ben-maxxing]

Who comes to your show, might I ask?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[thousands, millions of people, we get the most famous people watching almost all the time.]

[ben-maxxing]

Hm. I don’t believe you. Name them. Until you’ve had Ian McKellen or an equivalent see your show,I really do doubt you.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[there are too many that have come to name.]

[ben-maxxing]

[He sighs]

That’s what they all say. Either way, this is pedantics. Don’t you know you’re violating labor laws keeping this young man under employ 24/7? What compensation is he getting?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[...do you have any idea how plays work?]

[ben-maxxing]

Are you truly asking me this question? You do know your actors have a life outside of the show? They’re characters! And unless his last name is Truman I really don’t think you’re doing this right.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Have you ever heard of a timeskip?

Or a timelapse?]

[ben-maxxing]

And he’s free to think about what he wants, not under the need to please your audience during these times?

[sylbanusthegreat]

[I never force him to do anything.]

[ben-maxxing]

You certainly make him fear you enough that it counts as force. And what benefit does he actually gain from this anyway?

[He turns to Sylvanus]

Do you enjoy it?

[sylbanusthegreat]

...I don't know..

Maybe...

[he didn't, but he was scared to say it and risk the narrator's rage]

[ben-maxxing]

You can speak your mind here, in this theater we run my show.

[sylbanusthegreat]

[Don't be so sure about that.]

I-

I don't know..

Is that really..

Do we know that for sure?

[ben-maxxing]

I’m certain.

[Ben looks through the fourth wall, directly at the narrator. His voice has a threatening edge to it.

This is my show, doll. Either you let the man speak his mind, or you’re due for a commercial break. I can very easily cut this season short if you don’t feel like listening.

[He nods towards Sylvanus, a spiderweb stretching between his hands]

[sylbanusthegreat]

[and this is what finally got them to shut up, at least for now]

I-

I hate it, okay?

That's what you wanted me to say, right?

[ben-maxxing]

Not exactly. I just wanted to hear your honest opinion. That’s all. And I was a bit tired of that guy’s attitude.

[sylbanusthegreat]

....honestly, me too.

[he laughs a bit awkwardly]

[ben-maxxing]

So, has this whole “audience” thing always been a thing for you? Or did the Web just decide to torment you specifically as of late?

[sylbanusthegreat]

This has been happening for as long as I can remember..

[ben-maxxing]

Well that sounds like a bit of a hassle, doesn’t it? Fitting in a dull sanitized box for other’s approval?

And, sorry about the comments about you earlier. They were in the name of theatrics, I should clarify.

[sylbanusthegreat]

It's fine..

I'm used to it.

And-

And it feels better to try to be normal, people seem to like that..

[and he oh so desperately just wanted it he liked]

[ben-maxxing]

They do for a time, but it’s rather easy to get bored of knowing someone like that. It does intrigue me what even brings the “audience” to watch a show like your. It seems like the functional equivalent of watching a zoo camera. I mean, where’s the drama? The suspense?

[sylbanusthegreat]

I-

It'll come soon...

They will make sure of that.

[ben-maxxing]

As in your narrator? That seems rather concerning. Are you going to be alright?

[sylbanusthegreat]

Yeah...

I'll be fine..

I promise.

It's all for the show.

[ben-maxxing]

I suppose I can’t say much against it though. The thing I have done for a show are. . . well certainly beyond sane, heh.