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[beneaththemasks]

Hi guys! My bunny has officially turned 7 years old and it's time for his annual vet check-up which will cost me at least $60 USD. Because of his age it is very important that he doesn't skip it and since I'm currently struggling with unemployment I thought I'd open some slots for quick commissions!

Anyways, thanks for your attention and I'd be really grateful if you could help me by sharing this even if you can't commission me :)

[taatsums]

Raito Kitakata Ward Mayor Novel - Season 1.5: THE SUPREME THING - Track 3: So long as you love

This chapter contains extremely major spoilers for Ev3ns Main Story, Chained Up Scarlet, Side B

… In the end, that was what broke the camel’s back and caused Nayuki to give up on me.

I was in the company dorm’s lesson room, playing the piano and reminiscing about my university days.

For the time being, Nayuki and I had settled the talk about passing the family inheritance to him, and I was still the legitimate Kitakata heir.

Although I was aware that in reality, my parents expected neither a conventional marriage nor grandchildren from me.

… What was I looking for by forcing myself through romance back then?

Looking back, I don’t really understand.

Did I want to build a love like the one my parents had with someone?

Did I want a taste of the supreme thing?

Was I looking for someone to share the secret of my “death prophecy” with?

Or maybe, I only did it so I would set free Nayuki from me…

“… Am I shackling Nayuki to me, even now?”

After everything fate put us through, us brothers are connected strongly once more.

I’m overjoyed about that.

I may not have a lover, but I have Nayuki, my little brother.

I have Ev3ns, my friends; and the Chief, my confidant.

That’s enough for me to feel that even if I can’t foster a romantic relationship with anyone, I’m building relationships with love as their basis.

My finger slipped and I missed a note.

I turned my focus back to the keys in front of me and continued playing Liebesträume No.3.

I’d played this song with Kuguri once, and have been practicing it ever since.

I want to be able to play it properly when the day we fulfill our promise comes.

Although, I can’t be certain Kuguri will permit that of me.

After playing for a while, I felt the presence of someone approaching from behind.

I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. I’ve already memorized his footsteps and presence.

It was Kuguri.

To me, his existence is a sort of mirror.

He leaned against the wall, and seemed to be focusing on the melody I was playing.

Occasionally, when I practice the piano, Kuguri peeks his head inside as though on a whim and listens.

Most of the time he leaves in the middle of my playing, but today he didn’t budge until I’d finished.

“How did I do? Have I improved any?”

I turned to look at him, and Kuguri laughed as if to mock me.

Then, he took a step closer to me and spoke in German:

“Und hüte deine Zunge wohl……”

That was part of the poem by Freiligath.

“Guard your words well, lest harm flow from your lips.”

For even if afterward you plead to god that you meant no harm, the one you love may already have left in mourning.

That is what those words mean.

“Have you noticed? Despite the beautiful melody, the song is all about a cruel fate.”

Kuguri says, no doubt trying to hurt me, and shrugs his shoulders as if he finds it amusing.

“Can you honestly claim that you’ve never hurt someone like that?”

Numerous instances came to mind.

There are plenty of people I’ve cut off, hurt, and pushed away.

Kuguri must be amongst them.

At the very least, I’m certain Nayuki is.

“Human love, was it? Can you truly love people in that way?”

Kuguri left the room while sneering.

After watching him trot away like a free-spirited, untamed cat, I muttered to myself:

“… I think I can, Kuguri.”

At the very least, aslong as my way of loving is acceptable.

I placed my fingers on the keys once more.

In the depths of my ears, I recalled that soft, nervous voice from my childhood.

Um, there’s a right way to put your fingers… Like this, your thumb goes here.

Can you try playing with just your right hand?

That voice, the pale fingers that struck the keys alongside mine, as well as the face that smiled bashfully when I looked at it, and the laughter we shared amongst the ripples of sound…

I remembered it all perfectly.

Every time I play the piano, a young Kuguri calls out to me.

Like this, your thumb goes here. Do you want to try playing? 

Far too long has passed since the time we first met.

Both during that time and now I had single-mindedly devoted myself to experiencing all life had to offer, burning my life all the while through various acts of self-abandonment

It was a form of rebellion. My way of taking out the anger I held towards the world.

A violent feeling slept within me, telling me that if anything hurt me, I would hurt it twice as bad.

How did Kuguri live, I wonder?

I have no way of knowing, but I believe that he too is deeply wounded.

When the pain was too much for me to bear, I’d ended up throwing away the piano that had once comforted me…

Was Kuguri also in so much pain that he threw away his piano?

I might be part of the reason for Kuguri’s pain.

… That might be why he says he wants to break me.

I was hesitant to make such a definitive statement.

If I were to tell Kuguri my conclusion, I’m certain he’d laugh and call me arrogant.

Even if that weren’t the case for him, there was still someone who I had undoubtedly hurt during my life.

Namely, Nayuki.

The poem for Liebesträume includes this part:

The time will come, the time will come, When you will stand at the grave and mourn.

“… What if Nayuki had died back then?”

I’ve turned this moment in my mind numerous times: It was the most despairing moment of my life.

When Nayuki was stabbed onstage and had collapsed in a pool of his own blood.

I thought he was going to die.

My fingers trembled against my will as they sat on top of the keyboard.

Cold sweat formed on my forehead, and my stomach cried in pain.

No matter how many times I recall it, I’m always overwhelmed by a new sense of fear.

If Nayuki really had died back then, I would have fallen on my knees in front of his grave, and wept. 

I would have regretted everything I’d done that hurt him, and perhaps I wouldn’t even be able to hold myself back from trying to kill myself.

… Having death so close always brought me comfort.

Violence, pain, and rage always quelled the suffering within me.

I wanted to live closer to death and feel that I was truly alive.

However, I don’t want any of my precious companions or family to experience this fear now.

I don’t want to leave any regrets.

That’s why, like Freiligrath says, I will love for as long as I can.

That’s what I’ve decided.

My love may never become romantic, but it can still blossom into affection, friendship, and sympathy.

Romantic love is not the only love with any worth.

Other forms of love and even small acts of kindness are all just as valuable.

After so many years, I’ve finally accepted that.

Suddenly, I thought to myself that, I could even become someone’s lover and get married now.

Not in an ordinary romantic relationship and marriage, but as an extension of friendship, so long as my partner is willing to recognize my feelings of wanting to treasure them as love.

We might even be able to exchange a promise to stay by one another’s side forever.

It would not be a typical relationship, but it would be special to me and my partner.

For example, I believe that my relationship with the Chief, who I regard as my confidant, is special.

I don’t want to be in a romantic relationship or marry.

The ideal of having a family like my parents did has crumbled away.

Now what’s important to me is to love those around me, and to die while loving them.

That is what my ideal is becoming.

Like Chihiro, who faces his fans with honesty.

Like Tao, who is always sincere towards others.

Like Kinari, who is always there for others, and helps them as if it’s second nature to him.

Like Kuguri, who doesn’t reject anything no matter how unsightly, precisely because of how unsightly it is.

Like Nayuki… Who accepts even those he’s come to hate.

And like the Chief… who accepted this life of mine.

I believe all of it is love, so I don’t want to ever forget them.

I will never cut them off again, and I will never forget them. I will hold them to my heart, keep them within me, and build upon the past and present as I head towards the future.

Will I die the way I’ve dreamed of if I do so?

If I were to die like that…

… Would my face look to be at peace in my very last moments?

I can no longer remember the face I once envisioned I’d make when I died.

I wonder why that is…

“Maybe I’d understand if I were to ask Toi.”

I whispered to myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask such a question to someone as kind as him.

I took a deep breath, and looked at the position of my fingers on the keys.

Then, I struck the first keys to Liebesträume No.3.

It was as though I entrusted my body and heart to the gentle ripples of music.

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3

NOTES:

(1) the english translation of freiligrath's poem, o lieb, so lang du lieben kannst, was taken from scott horton's translation from harper's magazine

[beneaththemasks]

hiii :D context for the VAs thing? I only know some of Genshin's VA controversies but that's all

heyyy so for a little bit of context; just this past week both a seiyuu and a producer from ensemble stars (mobile game) got exposed for doing some unethical and illegal/gross stuff that I don't want to get too much into detail about...

but seiyuus (mostly male ones) are always getting in various scandals (some more serious than others) unfortunately, so I wouldn't be surprised if anything else were to come up. especially considering that these two men had many friendships and contacts in the industry and we know how men can be with taking their (also) male friends' side...

fortunately so far nobody has spoken up in their favor but in these situations it's better to be safe than sorry and I'm just keeping my guard up

coincidentally the producer was very close friends with nakajima (rui's seiyuu) and umehara (leona kingscholar from twst for reference) and both of them had to make a public apology in their band's youtube channel

[beneaththemasks]

btw I have decided I'll wait a couple of weeks to see if any other seiyuu/producer decides to be fucking gross and ruin things before I start with the tdb seiyuu fun fact compilation 💀

[ash0-0ley]

Jo : Violence isn’t the answer.

Shion : You’re right.

Jo : sighs in relief

Shion : Violence is the question.

Jo : What?

Shion , bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Jo, running after him : NO-

[nekuraichoco]

waiter waiter!!! bring the birthday boy dessert with NO coffee!!!!

[vioventures]

[knighthearts]

happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw

[kiolebwi]

Woke up today to find out I share the same birthday as this dude???

[beneaththemasks]

I dream of being someone's diversity hire

[persona-game-info]

[persona-game-info]

Persona 30th Anniversary - Live Tour Announced

[perevt0ma]

I've always loved the diamond in cards

[fima11]

Beautiful!

[cxrcrxshearts]

Scrolling twitter for fanart between sessions & when I say that I do not get shocked by the world anymore & this tweet still hit me like a truck. I’ve finally experienced psychological horror bc I haven’t stopped pulling at my hair all day bc I’m haunted by the image these words conjure . There’s always more innocence that can be taken from you

[may-lutlone]

regrets, regrets

[magicianpenguin]

akechi redraw from feb cause i didnt like it

[abdulrahman-family2]

Today we were able to perform the surgery on my nephew

[abdulrahman-family2]

But our ordeal isn't over yet. After the surgery, the doctors urgently recommended medication, painkillers, and post-operative care to alleviate his pain and help him recover as best as possible. Unfortunately, the cost of this medication and treatment is around 500 euros, an amount beyond our current means.

[abdulrahman-family2]

Please, this is a young child who cannot bear the pain and cannot tolerate any delay. Every hour that passes without providing his medication means more suffering and pain for him. He is currently under the influence of painkillers from the operation, but in a few hours their effect will wear off, and he will begin to experience severe pain if we cannot provide the necessary treatment and painkillers as soon as possible.

[abdulrahman-family2]

I swear to you, seeing a child in pain before our eyes and being powerless to help is an indescribable feeling. Please don't let my nephew suffer any longer. Help us secure treatment before it's too late. Donate, donate! 🥺💔

Donate here - PayPal - Vetted#642

[abdulrahman-family2]

Guys, it's been two hours and no one has donated yet. We still need 500 euros to buy medicine and painkillers for my nephew. Please don't let us down. Please donate to ease my nephew's pain. He's only 4 years old. Please, I don't want him to suffer anymore, and he needs his medication quickly. Please don't let us down. Donate, donate! 😭💔

[abdulrahman-family2]

Guys, only one person has donated five euros, and we still need 495 euros to buy painkillers and medication for my nephew. Please donate! Save my nephew before the painkillers he received after his surgery wear off and he suffers. Please donate! Don't let a four-year-old boy, who survived the genocide in Gaza and lost his father, suffer. Ease his pain! Please donate! 💔😭

[abdulrahman-family2]

If anything bad happens to my nephew, please remember that I begged you to donate even a small amount or to share my post. I will not forgive anyone who sees this post and doesn't support me with a single word or a small donation, and ignores me.

[abdulrahman-family2]

Imagine you had surgery. Could you bear the pain afterward? I don't think you could. So how could a 4-year-old child? Please donate. We still need 490 euros to buy painkillers and medication for my nephew. Please donate. Don't let my nephew suffer for even a second. Please donate, please donate! 😭💔

[abdulrahman-family2]

Guys, we still need 400 euros for painkillers and treatment for my nephew. He's still crying so much from the pain. Please help my little nephew! He's crying so much because of the operation. Please don't let him suffer any longer. He's in so much pain right now. He needs treatment. Please donate! 😭💔

[abdulrahman-family2]

Oh my God, oh my God, my nephew just fainted from the pain and we still need 380 euros. Please, please do something, do something, please save my nephew, please donate, donate 😭😭😭💔

[professionalmushroom]

Please continue donating if you can!!! Or share with others so they can donate, we can get to these amount very fast if you donate even a small amount !!

[abdulrahman-family2]

Guys, we still need 360 euros to get painkillers and medication for my sick nephew. It's been two days and he hasn't received his treatment. Please, please help me get his medicine before his pain gets worse. Please, please donate, donate! Don't let us down. Prove to me that the world is with me and that I'm not alone. Please, I don't want anything bad to happen to him. Donate, donate! Don't ignore us! 💔😭😭

[abdulrahman-family2]

Has what my nephew is going through become normal for you? Have your hearts turned to stone? I swear I will never forgive anyone who sees this post and ignores me. We still need 360 euros to buy medicine for my nephew. Please donate. 😭💔