meia

feeding you delusions | angst/fluff/yume fics of Hypnosis Mic, Tokyo Debunker, Paradox Live, Tokyo Color Sonic | AO3: archiveofourown.org/users/azuremeia/profile | azuremeia.carrd.co | pfp by すらなき

[azuremeia]

Illuminated Heart

Summary: At an Obon lantern festival by the river, Ren offers to release both lanterns himself so you don't have to wade into the cold water. While he's caught up watching the river glow, you sneak a few photos of him on his own phone which turns into a chase along the bank when he catches you, and ends with him grabbing you before you can get away. Surrounded by thousands of lanterns, the teasing fades into something quieter. Later, without you noticing, Ren takes a photo of you too, and can't bring himself to delete it. By the end, neither of you wants to let go of what the night gave you. ⌯⌲ BGM: Lunar Ripples

The evening tide lapped quietly against the riverbank, carrying with it countless paper lanterns that shimmered like stars scattered across the river. Their amber glow rippled over the dark water, blending with the indigo of twilight until the river itself seemed to breathe light. Around the riverbank, conversations softened into murmurs, as though everyone knew this moment deserved reverence.

Each lantern carried a wish; a farewell, a prayer.

It was said that during Obon, these floating lights guided ancestral souls back to the spirit world after their time among the living. Watching hundreds of them drift together was enough to quiet even the busiest of hearts.

You cradled two lanterns carefully in your arms, admiring the delicate floral patterns pressed into the translucent paper. A tiny candle flickered inside each one, casting warm light against your pink yukata.

"They're prettier up close," you whispered.

Beside you, Ren looked from the lanterns to the edge of the water, where people were stepping carefully into the shallow river to release theirs.

"...Oi."

"Hm?"

"You're not planning to go in there, are you?"

You looked up innocently. "I was."

"You'll get soaked."

"I'll roll my sleeves up."

"The rocks are slippery."

"I'll be careful."

Before you got far, he sighed heavily. "Give them to me."

You blinked. "What?"

"The lanterns. I'll do it." His answer came almost immediately, though he avoided your eyes while he said it.

"You don't need to."

"..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Because if you slip and fall, that'll become my problem."

"Your problem?"

"You'll probably catch a cold and then you'll complain."

"I really wouldn't." You laughed quietly. "That's awfully considerate of you."

"I'm not being considerate. I'm just avoiding trouble." His expression stayed flat, though the tips of his ears gave him away. "...Besides, your yukata will get wet."

You looked down at your sleeves, then back at him. "You noticed."

"I have eyes."

A breeze drifted in from the river. For someone who insisted he hated trouble, he'd been the one quietly watching over you all evening; guiding you around crowded paths, handing you napkins before you asked, and now this. His actions rarely matched his words.

You smiled. "Alright." You handed him both lanterns. He took them gently, careful not to tilt either one enough to snuff the candle inside.

Just as he turned to walk toward the water, he stopped. "...Ah. My phone." He pulled it from his pocket and stared at it for a second. He looked at you. "...Hold this."

You blinked in surprise as he placed the phone in your hands. "You're trusting me with your phone?"

"I don't trust water."

"That's not what I asked."

"It'd be a pain if it got wet."

He'd handed it over without much hesitation. You turned it over curiously. "You really don't mind?"

"Just don't drop it. And don't look through it."

"...I wasn't going to."

"You hesitated."

"I was offended."

"You were tempted."

"Maybe a little."

"I knew it."

You puffed your cheeks. "I have dignity."

"Mhm."

"Hey."

"I'm agreeing with you."

"You're making fun of me."

"I'm not."

"You absolutely are." 

A tiny smile tugged at his lips and vanished almost as fast. "Whatever." He turned before you could tease him further.

The water reached just above his ankles as he stepped carefully across the wet sand, paying close attention to every step so he wouldn't disturb the flames. The golden light reflected off the waves, surrounding him with shimmering halos. When he crouched near the water, the lantern in his hands lit the sharp lines of his face, softening his usually sleepy expression and catching amber highlights in his hair. He lowered your lantern first, with more tenderness than you expected, and waited for it to float steady before setting his own beside it. The two lanterns drifted together, neither one pulled away.

You stared. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or the flow of floating lights around him, or maybe it was just that Ren looked beautiful. There was something peaceful about watching someone who complained about everything treat this small tradition with quiet respect.

He watched a moment longer, making sure neither lantern tipped, then began to stand. You glanced down as his phone was still in your hands.

"He doesn't have to know." The lock screen was already open. "...Just one." Your thumb tapped the camera and you raised the phone.

Through the screen he looked even more striking, golden lanterns floating around him like fallen stars, the water throwing back every flicker of light. His expression stayed calm as he watched your lantern drift away.

*Click.*

You checked the picture. "One more." *Click.* Even better. "Okay, maybe one last—" *Click.* Perfect. "...I'm definitely keeping these."

"Hey."

Your shoulders jumped. Ren was staring straight at you from several meters off.

"...Uh-oh."

He narrowed his eyes. "Were you just using my phone?"

You hid it behind your back. "...No."

"That was the worst lie I've ever heard." He started walking back, water rippling around his ankles. "You literally had the camera pointed at me."

"I was taking pictures of the lanterns."

"...With me in the middle?"

"They're compositions."

"You mean I'm the composition."

"Exactly."

He stopped a few steps in front of you, water dripping from the hem of his pants. "Give it."

"No."

His eyebrow twitched. "Excuse me?"

"I said hand it over. They're embarrassing."

"They're beautiful." You tilted your head. "I think you look handsome."

Ren froze. "W-What?"

"I said you look handsome."

He looked away so fast you almost laughed. The tips of his ears turned pink under the lantern light. "Don't say stuff like that so casually."

"Why?"

"It's weird."

"It isn't."

"It is."

"I was just telling the truth."

His face grew warmer. "...You're seriously troublesome."

"I thought you said I wasn't supposed to cause trouble."

"So whose fault is this?"

"Yours." You laughed. 

Ren pinched the bridge of his nose and held out his hand. "Phone."

"No."

"I'm serious."

He stepped forward. You stepped back. "...Don't."

"I'm just getting my phone."

"You'll delete them."

"I will."

"You look too good!"

"I don't care!"

"I do!"

Ren stared at you for a few seconds. "You seriously aren't giving it back."

You smiled sweetly. "Nope."

"Fine." His shoulders slumped, and for a second you thought he'd given up. Then he stepped forward and fast.

Your eyes widened. "Wait—" You turned on your heel and ran, laughing. "I'm running!"

"You what?!"

You darted across the riverbank, sand slowing your steps just enough to hear his groan behind you. "Seriously?!"

"You'll delete them!"

"Because they're embarrassing!"

"They're memories!"

"They're evidence!"

"Evidence of what?"

"Nothing!"

You laughed harder. Festival-goers watched with amused smiles as the two of you wove around groups by the lantern ceremony. Ren wasn't sprinting, he looked far too annoyed to call it that but, he was catching up fast anyway.

"You know," you called over your shoulder, "for someone who hates trouble, you're putting in a lot of effort!"

"This is the trouble!"

"You started it!"

"You hijacked my camera!"

"I improved your gallery!"

"My gallery was fine!"

"It had food and other stuff of pictures!"

"...they’re important!"

"And now it has handsome Ren pictures too!"

"Stop saying that!"

His voice cracked just enough to make you laugh even harder. You glanced behind you and realized he was much closer than before. "W-Wait—" Your pace quickened. "Oh no."

"You're slowing down."

"The sand's unfair!"

"You should've thought of that before stealing my phone."

"I didn't steal it!"

"You refused to return it!"

"Details!"

You dodged around a family. Ren followed, the faintest smile threatening his face, one he stubbornly refused to acknowledge. You risked another glance behind you and it was a big mistake. The distraction made your sandal sink into the loose sand, your balance faltering just enough for him to close the distance.

"Got you." One arm slipped around your waist and your feet left the sand for a moment before finding solid ground again.

"Wah—!" Your laughter cut off into a gasp as the momentum carried you back against him.

"You're kidding."

"I told you I'd catch you." His voice came from closer than you expected, warm and slightly breathless.

You reached for the arm around your waist, fingers curling around his sleeve. His grip wasn't rough, but it was firm and careful, like he was making sure you couldn't run without ever making it feel like he was holding you too tight.

His breathing was still uneven from the chase, each breath brushing the top of your head. Only then did you notice he was still holding you, closer than he'd ever been, his arm resting around your waist as if he'd forgotten it was there. Or maybe he hadn't realized how naturally it had ended up there.

Your heartbeat got loud enough to drown out the festival music. Neither of you said anything for a moment, both still catching your breath. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest behind you, warm despite the cool evening air.

He's really close, you thought. Closer than he'd ever been before.

"A-Alright." Your voice came out softer than you meant. "I'll give your phone back. Just don't delete the pictures."

Ren stayed quiet.

"Please?" There was something genuine in the way you said it now, not a joke anymore. You wanted to keep them. The lantern light had caught him at the perfect moment: calm, gentle, an expression not many people got to see.

He sighed. "You really like them?"

You nodded. "They're beautiful."

"The lanterns?"

"You."

He stiffened. "Stop saying things like that. I don't know how to respond."

"You don't have to. I just wanted you to know."

He stared out at the glowing ocean for a while, his ears unmistakably red. "...Fine. Keep them. On one condition. You don't show anyone, and you don't make it your wallpaper."

"I wasn't planning to."

"You hesitated."

"I was thinking, maybe for like five minutes."

"Absolutely not."

You laughed. "Okay, okay. I promise."

He studied your face, satisfied, and loosened his hold, except he didn't actually let go.

"Ren. You're still holding me."

His eyes widened, as if he'd only just noticed himself. He stepped back fast, his face flushing. "I— sorry."

"No, it's okay." You touched the spot at your waist where his arm had been.

An awkward silence settled in, neither of you knew where to look.

"Here's your phone," you said, holding out the phone.

He took it and unlocked the screen before putting it away. The gallery opened, three new photos, all of him.

He stared at the first one; golden lanterns floating around him, the river shimmering under his feet, the light softening the tiredness in his face. "That's... not terrible."

You beamed. "I told you, I’m a pro photographer."

"Don't get smug." A small, almost invisible smile crossed his mouth before he could stop it.

"You smiled."

"I didn't."

"You definitely did."

"It’s the lighting."

"The lighting smiled?"

"...Shut up."

You couldn't stop laughing. He looked away, muttering under his breath, but he never reopened the delete menu. He just locked the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Come on. The lanterns are getting farther away."

You followed his gaze. The river had become a flow of light; hundreds, maybe thousands, of lanterns drifting toward the horizon, their reflections stretching across the water like pieces of the night sky brought down to earth. Without another word, the two of you walked toward the riverbank together, and this time neither of you ran. The festival behind you faded into a pleasant murmur, every so often another lantern went out to the river, joining the ones already drifting toward the horizon.

You slowed without meaning to. "...Wow." The river had transformed, the lanterns floated together like a constellation on the water, their reflections stretching farther than you could follow. The sky above had gone darker, letting every flame shine brighter, as if the stars had come down to rest on the river instead. "It's beautiful."

Ren stood quietly beside you. "Yeah." His reply was almost lost under the waves. For someone who always had a complaint ready, he had nothing to say now. Maybe because there wasn't anything worth complaining about, or maybe because even he couldn't find words for the view. The two lanterns you'd released were somewhere out there among the others, impossible to pick out anymore.

You stepped closer to the water and folded your hands in front of your chest.

Ren glanced over. "What're you doing?"

"I'm praying."

"...Oh." His voice softened.

You closed your eyes. You'd read about the meaning of the ceremony before coming. These lanterns guided ancestral spirits back after their visit among the living. Not a lonely farewell, but a promise that they'd be remembered.

May every soul find their way home safely. May those waiting beyond the light know they're loved… and may everyone precious to me continue smiling.

The breeze swept across the riverbank as if carrying the prayer out to  the endless river. You opened your eyes, and the sight before you looked even more beautiful than before.

You didn't notice that Ren wasn't looking at the lanterns anymore. He was looking at you, your smile, the candlelight softening your features, and the quiet happiness in your expression. It was different from your usual energy, the teasing and laughing and dragging him into conversations he claimed he didn't want. Right now you were simply standing there, peacefully.

He blinked, caught himself staring, and looked away. Only for his eyes to drift back again.

What's wrong with me, he thought, clicking his tongue quietly. It's just the lighting. Anyone would look nice with this many lanterns, probably. Without quite deciding to, his hand found his phone. He frowned. That's stupid. His thumb hooked the edge anyway and he pulled it out. Your photos of him still sat at the top of his gallery. He looked at them for a second before switching to the camera. The lanterns framed you perfectly, the river glowing behind you, the breeze stirring the ribbon on your yukata. You were too caught up in the lights to notice him at all.

*Click.* The sound was almost nothing, he lowered the phone and looked at the picture.

It looked really nice, not because of any sudden skill with a camera or a lucky angle, but because it caught exactly how he saw you in that moment: smiling quietly under a sky of floating lights, like you belonged among them.

His thumb hovered over the trash icon. Delete it, he thought. It'd only be trouble later. If you found out, you'd never let him hear the end of it, he could already picture your smug face and the teasing. His ears warmed just thinking about it. He should delete it. His thumb moved, then stopped.

...It'd be a waste, he told himself. The lighting was good, the composition was good. Deleting a perfectly fine photo would just be inefficient. That was the only reason.

"Yeah," he muttered, nodding once as if convincing himself. "It'd be a waste."

Just as he locked the screen, you turned around.

"Ren?" He nearly jumped. Your eyes narrowed. "Were you looking at your phone?"

"Maybe."

"Were you taking pictures?"

"No."

"Ren, show me."

"No."

Your eyes lit up. "You definitely took one!"

"I didn't." He calmly pocketed the phone. You gasped. "...You're hiding evidence!"

"There isn't any."

"There is now."

Before you'd finished the sentence, you lunged. "Gotcha!"

"H-Hey—" He stepped back, lifting the phone over his head before you could reach it.

"You did take one!"

"I did not!"

"Then let me see!"

"No!"

"You saw mine!"

"You forced me to! You blackmailed me with compliments!"

"They were genuine!"

"That's worse!"

You laughed and stretched as high as you could. "C'mon... please."

"No."

"I'm shorter than you. You're using your height unfairly."

"That's usually how height works."

You pouted, then stepped closer. "Fine." When he wouldn't lower his arm, you rose onto your toes and reached, still too short. "So close." One more try, your fingers barely brushed his wrist. Without thinking, your left hand landed against his chest to steady yourself while your right kept reaching. "Almost—"

Ren stopped moving completely. His raised arm froze mid-air, his breath catching. Your palm rested right over his heartbeat through the fabric of his clothes. You finally noticed he wasn't resisting anymore, and looked down from the phone to find his eyes already on yours.

Somehow, without either of you noticing, you'd ended up impossibly close, close enough that if either of you leaned forward even slightly, your lips would meet. Neither of you moved, even the festival seemed to fade, leaving only the hush of the waves and the soft crackle of lantern flames drifting out to the river.

Your own heartbeat was too loud in your ears. You hadn't realized how close you'd gotten, close enough to count the strands of his hair falling across his forehead, close enough to see the lanterns reflected in his pale blue eyes, close enough to feel every slow breath he took. Ren had forgotten about the phone entirely, forgotten why he'd lifted it over his head, forgotten that you'd been chasing him for it only a minute ago. His mind had gone blank.

She's too close.

Your hand was still on his chest, warm through the layers of fabric, every small shift of your fingers impossible not to notice. His heartbeat gave him away immediately.

She's definitely hearing this, he thought. Seriously?

He wanted to say something, step back, complain — anything but none of it happened, he just stared. Your eyes widened as the same realization hit you. We're really close.

Neither of you looked away after how many seconds had passed. Your gaze dropped for the briefest moment to his lips before you caught yourself and pulled it back up, but not fast enough. Ren had noticed, and his ears burned red.

Did she just— No. She probably didn't, right?

Your cheeks were warming by the second, and the breeze that should have cooled you down only made you more aware of it.

"R-Ren." His name came out barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?" His voice was just as unsteady.

Neither of you finished the thought, you just kept looking at each other. There wasn't embarrassment in his eyes anymore, only hesitation like he was trying to decide something.

The hand holding his phone lowered, he had realized you were leaning farther than you probably meant to. If he moved wrong, you'd lose your balance. Without thinking, his free hand found your waist again. This time it wasn't to stop you from running. It was instinct, his palm settling against your side, steady enough to catch you if your footing slipped, careful not to hold you any tighter than that.

Your breath caught. His hand was warmer than the night air, and you could feel exactly how much space he was leaving, like he didn't want to hold you any closer than necessary.

He swallowed. "You'll fall." The excuse sounded weak even to him.

You almost smiled. "I'm standing."

"Barely."

"You're the one holding me."

"Right." Neither of you moved to change that.

The lanterns kept drifting behind you, flickering gold across both your faces. For one long moment it felt like the whole world had slowed down just for the two of you.

Would he close the distance? Even a little? Your heart answered before you could think it through, leaping against your ribs. His gaze flicked down again, just once, then back to your eyes. His fingers tightened slightly around your waist not pulling you closer, just steadying you.

He inhaled quietly. What am I doing? He'd never been good at moments like this, never known the right move. Kissing you felt like crossing a line he wasn't sure he had permission to cross, even if part of him wanted to. The thought alone made his face burn hotter. Idiot. Why are you even thinking about that? She's probably just trying to steal your phone.

You were thinking almost the same thing. Should I— no, that's weird, too sudden. He's probably just making sure I don't fall. Right?

The silence stretched until you gave a small cough. "A-Ah—" Reality returned all at once. You lowered your hand from his chest and stepped back. "Sorry."

His hand slipped from your waist, the sudden absence of warmth felt strangely obvious.

He looked away first. "...Sorry."

"For what?"

"Holding you."

"You were helping me."

"...Still."

"It didn't bother me." You laughed awkwardly. "I almost forgot. Your phone, I never even got to see it."

His eyes widened for half a second. "...No."

"Ren, you definitely took one."

"...Maybe."

"Aha!"

"I didn't say that."

"You basically did."

You stepped toward him, and this time he didn't run. He unlocked the phone instead. He stared at the screen for a long moment before turning it toward you. A photo filled the display and it’s you, standing before a number of floating lanterns, your smile lit by their glow, the river stretching endlessly behind you. It looked like more than a picture, it looked like it had caught the quiet happiness of the moment itself.

He looked at it once more, then locked the phone without deleting it and put it away.

You puffed out your cheeks. "Mean."

He glanced at you sideways. "It's embarrassing."

"Why?"

He searched for an excuse and couldn't find one. Finally he sighed. "If I show you, you'll know I wasn't looking at the lanterns."

You stared at him. His own eyes widened at what he'd just admitted. "Forget I said that."

A slow, genuine smile spread across your face. You didn't tease him this time. You just looked back out at the glowing river. "Then don't delete the photos we took today, they're memories. Cherish them from now on, even the embarrassing ones."

Ren said nothing for a long while. The waves kept rolling in, the lanterns kept drifting into the darkness, carrying their prayers toward the horizon. At last he slipped a hand into his pocket, his thumb brushing the phone inside.

"Yeah."

It was only a single word, quiet, almost swallowed by the breeze. But he never once thought about deleting the photographs again, not yours and especially not his.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Song Inspo: Lost in translation.. ⌯⌲ I definitely had fun making this one. ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Illuminated Heart

Summary: At an Obon lantern festival by the river, Ren offers to release both lanterns himself so you don't have to wade into the cold water. While he's caught up watching the river glow, you sneak a few photos of him on his own phone which turns into a chase along the bank when he catches you, and ends with him grabbing you before you can get away. Surrounded by thousands of lanterns, the teasing fades into something quieter. Later, without you noticing, Ren takes a photo of you too, and can't bring himself to delete it. By the end, neither of you wants to let go of what the night gave you. ⌯⌲ BGM: Lunar Ripples

The evening tide lapped quietly against the riverbank, carrying with it countless paper lanterns that shimmered like stars scattered across the river. Their amber glow rippled over the dark water, blending with the indigo of twilight until the river itself seemed to breathe light. Around the riverbank, conversations softened into murmurs, as though everyone knew this moment deserved reverence.

Each lantern carried a wish; a farewell, a prayer.

It was said that during Obon, these floating lights guided ancestral souls back to the spirit world after their time among the living. Watching hundreds of them drift together was enough to quiet even the busiest of hearts.

You cradled two lanterns carefully in your arms, admiring the delicate floral patterns pressed into the translucent paper. A tiny candle flickered inside each one, casting warm light against your pink yukata.

"They're prettier up close," you whispered.

Beside you, Ren looked from the lanterns to the edge of the water, where people were stepping carefully into the shallow river to release theirs.

"...Oi."

"Hm?"

"You're not planning to go in there, are you?"

You looked up innocently. "I was."

"You'll get soaked."

"I'll roll my sleeves up."

"The rocks are slippery."

"I'll be careful."

Before you got far, he sighed heavily. "Give them to me."

You blinked. "What?"

"The lanterns. I'll do it." His answer came almost immediately, though he avoided your eyes while he said it.

"You don't need to."

"..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Because if you slip and fall, that'll become my problem."

"Your problem?"

"You'll probably catch a cold and then you'll complain."

"I really wouldn't." You laughed quietly. "That's awfully considerate of you."

"I'm not being considerate. I'm just avoiding trouble." His expression stayed flat, though the tips of his ears gave him away. "...Besides, your yukata will get wet."

You looked down at your sleeves, then back at him. "You noticed."

"I have eyes."

A breeze drifted in from the river. For someone who insisted he hated trouble, he'd been the one quietly watching over you all evening; guiding you around crowded paths, handing you napkins before you asked, and now this. His actions rarely matched his words.

You smiled. "Alright." You handed him both lanterns. He took them gently, careful not to tilt either one enough to snuff the candle inside.

Just as he turned to walk toward the water, he stopped. "...Ah. My phone." He pulled it from his pocket and stared at it for a second. He looked at you. "...Hold this."

You blinked in surprise as he placed the phone in your hands. "You're trusting me with your phone?"

"I don't trust water."

"That's not what I asked."

"It'd be a pain if it got wet."

He'd handed it over without much hesitation. You turned it over curiously. "You really don't mind?"

"Just don't drop it. And don't look through it."

"...I wasn't going to."

"You hesitated."

"I was offended."

"You were tempted."

"Maybe a little."

"I knew it."

You puffed your cheeks. "I have dignity."

"Mhm."

"Hey."

"I'm agreeing with you."

"You're making fun of me."

"I'm not."

"You absolutely are." 

A tiny smile tugged at his lips and vanished almost as fast. "Whatever." He turned before you could tease him further.

The water reached just above his ankles as he stepped carefully across the wet sand, paying close attention to every step so he wouldn't disturb the flames. The golden light reflected off the waves, surrounding him with shimmering halos. When he crouched near the water, the lantern in his hands lit the sharp lines of his face, softening his usually sleepy expression and catching amber highlights in his hair. He lowered your lantern first, with more tenderness than you expected, and waited for it to float steady before setting his own beside it. The two lanterns drifted together, neither one pulled away.

You stared. Maybe it was the atmosphere, or the flow of floating lights around him, or maybe it was just that Ren looked beautiful. There was something peaceful about watching someone who complained about everything treat this small tradition with quiet respect.

He watched a moment longer, making sure neither lantern tipped, then began to stand. You glanced down as his phone was still in your hands.

"He doesn't have to know." The lock screen was already open. "...Just one." Your thumb tapped the camera and you raised the phone.

Through the screen he looked even more striking, golden lanterns floating around him like fallen stars, the water throwing back every flicker of light. His expression stayed calm as he watched your lantern drift away.

*Click.*

You checked the picture. "One more." *Click.* Even better. "Okay, maybe one last—" *Click.* Perfect. "...I'm definitely keeping these."

"Hey."

Your shoulders jumped. Ren was staring straight at you from several meters off.

"...Uh-oh."

He narrowed his eyes. "Were you just using my phone?"

You hid it behind your back. "...No."

"That was the worst lie I've ever heard." He started walking back, water rippling around his ankles. "You literally had the camera pointed at me."

"I was taking pictures of the lanterns."

"...With me in the middle?"

"They're compositions."

"You mean I'm the composition."

"Exactly."

He stopped a few steps in front of you, water dripping from the hem of his pants. "Give it."

"No."

His eyebrow twitched. "Excuse me?"

"I said hand it over. They're embarrassing."

"They're beautiful." You tilted your head. "I think you look handsome."

Ren froze. "W-What?"

"I said you look handsome."

He looked away so fast you almost laughed. The tips of his ears turned pink under the lantern light. "Don't say stuff like that so casually."

"Why?"

"It's weird."

"It isn't."

"It is."

"I was just telling the truth."

His face grew warmer. "...You're seriously troublesome."

"I thought you said I wasn't supposed to cause trouble."

"So whose fault is this?"

"Yours." You laughed. 

Ren pinched the bridge of his nose and held out his hand. "Phone."

"No."

"I'm serious."

He stepped forward. You stepped back. "...Don't."

"I'm just getting my phone."

"You'll delete them."

"I will."

"You look too good!"

"I don't care!"

"I do!"

Ren stared at you for a few seconds. "You seriously aren't giving it back."

You smiled sweetly. "Nope."

"Fine." His shoulders slumped, and for a second you thought he'd given up. Then he stepped forward and fast.

Your eyes widened. "Wait—" You turned on your heel and ran, laughing. "I'm running!"

"You what?!"

You darted across the riverbank, sand slowing your steps just enough to hear his groan behind you. "Seriously?!"

"You'll delete them!"

"Because they're embarrassing!"

"They're memories!"

"They're evidence!"

"Evidence of what?"

"Nothing!"

You laughed harder. Festival-goers watched with amused smiles as the two of you wove around groups by the lantern ceremony. Ren wasn't sprinting, he looked far too annoyed to call it that but, he was catching up fast anyway.

"You know," you called over your shoulder, "for someone who hates trouble, you're putting in a lot of effort!"

"This is the trouble!"

"You started it!"

"You hijacked my camera!"

"I improved your gallery!"

"My gallery was fine!"

"It had food and other stuff of pictures!"

"...they’re important!"

"And now it has handsome Ren pictures too!"

"Stop saying that!"

His voice cracked just enough to make you laugh even harder. You glanced behind you and realized he was much closer than before. "W-Wait—" Your pace quickened. "Oh no."

"You're slowing down."

"The sand's unfair!"

"You should've thought of that before stealing my phone."

"I didn't steal it!"

"You refused to return it!"

"Details!"

You dodged around a family. Ren followed, the faintest smile threatening his face, one he stubbornly refused to acknowledge. You risked another glance behind you and it was a big mistake. The distraction made your sandal sink into the loose sand, your balance faltering just enough for him to close the distance.

"Got you." One arm slipped around your waist and your feet left the sand for a moment before finding solid ground again.

"Wah—!" Your laughter cut off into a gasp as the momentum carried you back against him.

"You're kidding."

"I told you I'd catch you." His voice came from closer than you expected, warm and slightly breathless.

You reached for the arm around your waist, fingers curling around his sleeve. His grip wasn't rough, but it was firm and careful, like he was making sure you couldn't run without ever making it feel like he was holding you too tight.

His breathing was still uneven from the chase, each breath brushing the top of your head. Only then did you notice he was still holding you, closer than he'd ever been, his arm resting around your waist as if he'd forgotten it was there. Or maybe he hadn't realized how naturally it had ended up there.

Your heartbeat got loud enough to drown out the festival music. Neither of you said anything for a moment, both still catching your breath. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest behind you, warm despite the cool evening air.

He's really close, you thought. Closer than he'd ever been before.

"A-Alright." Your voice came out softer than you meant. "I'll give your phone back. Just don't delete the pictures."

Ren stayed quiet.

"Please?" There was something genuine in the way you said it now, not a joke anymore. You wanted to keep them. The lantern light had caught him at the perfect moment: calm, gentle, an expression not many people got to see.

He sighed. "You really like them?"

You nodded. "They're beautiful."

"The lanterns?"

"You."

He stiffened. "Stop saying things like that. I don't know how to respond."

"You don't have to. I just wanted you to know."

He stared out at the glowing ocean for a while, his ears unmistakably red. "...Fine. Keep them. On one condition. You don't show anyone, and you don't make it your wallpaper."

"I wasn't planning to."

"You hesitated."

"I was thinking, maybe for like five minutes."

"Absolutely not."

You laughed. "Okay, okay. I promise."

He studied your face, satisfied, and loosened his hold, except he didn't actually let go.

"Ren. You're still holding me."

His eyes widened, as if he'd only just noticed himself. He stepped back fast, his face flushing. "I— sorry."

"No, it's okay." You touched the spot at your waist where his arm had been.

An awkward silence settled in, neither of you knew where to look.

"Here's your phone," you said, holding out the phone.

He took it and unlocked the screen before putting it away. The gallery opened, three new photos, all of him.

He stared at the first one; golden lanterns floating around him, the river shimmering under his feet, the light softening the tiredness in his face. "That's... not terrible."

You beamed. "I told you, I’m a pro photographer."

"Don't get smug." A small, almost invisible smile crossed his mouth before he could stop it.

"You smiled."

"I didn't."

"You definitely did."

"It’s the lighting."

"The lighting smiled?"

"...Shut up."

You couldn't stop laughing. He looked away, muttering under his breath, but he never reopened the delete menu. He just locked the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Come on. The lanterns are getting farther away."

You followed his gaze. The river had become a flow of light; hundreds, maybe thousands, of lanterns drifting toward the horizon, their reflections stretching across the water like pieces of the night sky brought down to earth. Without another word, the two of you walked toward the riverbank together, and this time neither of you ran. The festival behind you faded into a pleasant murmur, every so often another lantern went out to the river, joining the ones already drifting toward the horizon.

You slowed without meaning to. "...Wow." The river had transformed, the lanterns floated together like a constellation on the water, their reflections stretching farther than you could follow. The sky above had gone darker, letting every flame shine brighter, as if the stars had come down to rest on the river instead. "It's beautiful."

Ren stood quietly beside you. "Yeah." His reply was almost lost under the waves. For someone who always had a complaint ready, he had nothing to say now. Maybe because there wasn't anything worth complaining about, or maybe because even he couldn't find words for the view. The two lanterns you'd released were somewhere out there among the others, impossible to pick out anymore.

You stepped closer to the water and folded your hands in front of your chest.

Ren glanced over. "What're you doing?"

"I'm praying."

"...Oh." His voice softened.

You closed your eyes. You'd read about the meaning of the ceremony before coming. These lanterns guided ancestral spirits back after their visit among the living. Not a lonely farewell, but a promise that they'd be remembered.

May every soul find their way home safely. May those waiting beyond the light know they're loved… and may everyone precious to me continue smiling.

The breeze swept across the riverbank as if carrying the prayer out to  the endless river. You opened your eyes, and the sight before you looked even more beautiful than before.

You didn't notice that Ren wasn't looking at the lanterns anymore. He was looking at you, your smile, the candlelight softening your features, and the quiet happiness in your expression. It was different from your usual energy, the teasing and laughing and dragging him into conversations he claimed he didn't want. Right now you were simply standing there, peacefully.

He blinked, caught himself staring, and looked away. Only for his eyes to drift back again.

What's wrong with me, he thought, clicking his tongue quietly. It's just the lighting. Anyone would look nice with this many lanterns, probably. Without quite deciding to, his hand found his phone. He frowned. That's stupid. His thumb hooked the edge anyway and he pulled it out. Your photos of him still sat at the top of his gallery. He looked at them for a second before switching to the camera. The lanterns framed you perfectly, the river glowing behind you, the breeze stirring the ribbon on your yukata. You were too caught up in the lights to notice him at all.

*Click.* The sound was almost nothing, he lowered the phone and looked at the picture.

It looked really nice, not because of any sudden skill with a camera or a lucky angle, but because it caught exactly how he saw you in that moment: smiling quietly under a sky of floating lights, like you belonged among them.

His thumb hovered over the trash icon. Delete it, he thought. It'd only be trouble later. If you found out, you'd never let him hear the end of it, he could already picture your smug face and the teasing. His ears warmed just thinking about it. He should delete it. His thumb moved, then stopped.

...It'd be a waste, he told himself. The lighting was good, the composition was good. Deleting a perfectly fine photo would just be inefficient. That was the only reason.

"Yeah," he muttered, nodding once as if convincing himself. "It'd be a waste."

Just as he locked the screen, you turned around.

"Ren?" He nearly jumped. Your eyes narrowed. "Were you looking at your phone?"

"Maybe."

"Were you taking pictures?"

"No."

"Ren, show me."

"No."

Your eyes lit up. "You definitely took one!"

"I didn't." He calmly pocketed the phone. You gasped. "...You're hiding evidence!"

"There isn't any."

"There is now."

Before you'd finished the sentence, you lunged. "Gotcha!"

"H-Hey—" He stepped back, lifting the phone over his head before you could reach it.

"You did take one!"

"I did not!"

"Then let me see!"

"No!"

"You saw mine!"

"You forced me to! You blackmailed me with compliments!"

"They were genuine!"

"That's worse!"

You laughed and stretched as high as you could. "C'mon... please."

"No."

"I'm shorter than you. You're using your height unfairly."

"That's usually how height works."

You pouted, then stepped closer. "Fine." When he wouldn't lower his arm, you rose onto your toes and reached, still too short. "So close." One more try, your fingers barely brushed his wrist. Without thinking, your left hand landed against his chest to steady yourself while your right kept reaching. "Almost—"

Ren stopped moving completely. His raised arm froze mid-air, his breath catching. Your palm rested right over his heartbeat through the fabric of his clothes. You finally noticed he wasn't resisting anymore, and looked down from the phone to find his eyes already on yours.

Somehow, without either of you noticing, you'd ended up impossibly close, close enough that if either of you leaned forward even slightly, your lips would meet. Neither of you moved, even the festival seemed to fade, leaving only the hush of the waves and the soft crackle of lantern flames drifting out to the river.

Your own heartbeat was too loud in your ears. You hadn't realized how close you'd gotten, close enough to count the strands of his hair falling across his forehead, close enough to see the lanterns reflected in his pale blue eyes, close enough to feel every slow breath he took. Ren had forgotten about the phone entirely, forgotten why he'd lifted it over his head, forgotten that you'd been chasing him for it only a minute ago. His mind had gone blank.

She's too close.

Your hand was still on his chest, warm through the layers of fabric, every small shift of your fingers impossible not to notice. His heartbeat gave him away immediately.

She's definitely hearing this, he thought. Seriously?

He wanted to say something, step back, complain — anything but none of it happened, he just stared. Your eyes widened as the same realization hit you. We're really close.

Neither of you looked away after how many seconds had passed. Your gaze dropped for the briefest moment to his lips before you caught yourself and pulled it back up, but not fast enough. Ren had noticed, and his ears burned red.

Did she just— No. She probably didn't, right?

Your cheeks were warming by the second, and the breeze that should have cooled you down only made you more aware of it.

"R-Ren." His name came out barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?" His voice was just as unsteady.

Neither of you finished the thought, you just kept looking at each other. There wasn't embarrassment in his eyes anymore, only hesitation like he was trying to decide something.

The hand holding his phone lowered, he had realized you were leaning farther than you probably meant to. If he moved wrong, you'd lose your balance. Without thinking, his free hand found your waist again. This time it wasn't to stop you from running. It was instinct, his palm settling against your side, steady enough to catch you if your footing slipped, careful not to hold you any tighter than that.

Your breath caught. His hand was warmer than the night air, and you could feel exactly how much space he was leaving, like he didn't want to hold you any closer than necessary.

He swallowed. "You'll fall." The excuse sounded weak even to him.

You almost smiled. "I'm standing."

"Barely."

"You're the one holding me."

"Right." Neither of you moved to change that.

The lanterns kept drifting behind you, flickering gold across both your faces. For one long moment it felt like the whole world had slowed down just for the two of you.

Would he close the distance? Even a little? Your heart answered before you could think it through, leaping against your ribs. His gaze flicked down again, just once, then back to your eyes. His fingers tightened slightly around your waist not pulling you closer, just steadying you.

He inhaled quietly. What am I doing? He'd never been good at moments like this, never known the right move. Kissing you felt like crossing a line he wasn't sure he had permission to cross, even if part of him wanted to. The thought alone made his face burn hotter. Idiot. Why are you even thinking about that? She's probably just trying to steal your phone.

You were thinking almost the same thing. Should I— no, that's weird, too sudden. He's probably just making sure I don't fall. Right?

The silence stretched until you gave a small cough. "A-Ah—" Reality returned all at once. You lowered your hand from his chest and stepped back. "Sorry."

His hand slipped from your waist, the sudden absence of warmth felt strangely obvious.

He looked away first. "...Sorry."

"For what?"

"Holding you."

"You were helping me."

"...Still."

"It didn't bother me." You laughed awkwardly. "I almost forgot. Your phone, I never even got to see it."

His eyes widened for half a second. "...No."

"Ren, you definitely took one."

"...Maybe."

"Aha!"

"I didn't say that."

"You basically did."

You stepped toward him, and this time he didn't run. He unlocked the phone instead. He stared at the screen for a long moment before turning it toward you. A photo filled the display and it’s you, standing before a number of floating lanterns, your smile lit by their glow, the river stretching endlessly behind you. It looked like more than a picture, it looked like it had caught the quiet happiness of the moment itself.

He looked at it once more, then locked the phone without deleting it and put it away.

You puffed out your cheeks. "Mean."

He glanced at you sideways. "It's embarrassing."

"Why?"

He searched for an excuse and couldn't find one. Finally he sighed. "If I show you, you'll know I wasn't looking at the lanterns."

You stared at him. His own eyes widened at what he'd just admitted. "Forget I said that."

A slow, genuine smile spread across your face. You didn't tease him this time. You just looked back out at the glowing river. "Then don't delete the photos we took today, they're memories. Cherish them from now on, even the embarrassing ones."

Ren said nothing for a long while. The waves kept rolling in, the lanterns kept drifting into the darkness, carrying their prayers toward the horizon. At last he slipped a hand into his pocket, his thumb brushing the phone inside.

"Yeah."

It was only a single word, quiet, almost swallowed by the breeze. But he never once thought about deleting the photographs again, not yours and especially not his.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Song Inspo: Lost in translation.. ⌯⌲ I definitely had fun making this one. ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Entwined Fingertips

⌯⌲ This fic is on another take not focusing on the latest story. ⌯⌲ BGM: A Crown of Seven Moons

Summary: After an argument leaves their relationship hanging by a thread, a mission during the Tanabata Festival forces Jin and you to work together once again. Two stubborn hearts find themselves walking the same path, only to discover that some distances cannot be measured by stars alone.

"Unbelievable." You muttered it under your breath, walking away from Jin's room and refusing to look back. Your fingers curled into your sleeves until your nails bit into your palms. Of all the people who could get under your skin, it had to be him — arrogant, stubborn, always convinced he was right.

"You really think charging into a situation without considering the aftermath is smart?" His voice was still ringing in your head.

"And you think locking yourself in your room solves everything?" you had shot back.

The silence after that had been worse than the shouting. Neither of you apologized, neither backed down, so you left.

Jin stayed exactly where you had left him. His room, usually quiet enough that you could hear the antique clock ticking, felt unbearably empty now.

"Tch." He clicked his tongue, eyes drifting to the door. "She actually left."

The room felt colder, because despite how difficult you were, your presence had become something he had gotten used to without noticing.

"Annoying." He dragged a hand through his silver hair. "Why the hell am I thinking about this."

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

The next morning, Darkwick Academy's emergency alarm went off in every dormitory. Professors stood up front in a classroom’s stage, waiting for the people they had called in for a meeting.

You walked in quiet and expressionless, like yesterday hadn't happened. Then your eyes met his. Jin stood near the back wall with his arms folded, his gaze lingering barely a second before he looked away. Good. That's how you preferred it. You walked past him without a glance, nodded to Mio, Ren, and Lucas. Jin said nothing, and neither did you. To anyone not paying attention it looked normal. Only someone watching closely would've noticed the wall standing between you.

The speaker gave a short briefing on the next mission, the Tanabata Festival. Everyone in the room would work the case as a team. Your eyebrow twitched, just slightly.

Lucas leaned over. "Oh! Looks like we're all together!"

Ren scratched the back of his neck. "Guess it'll be fun."

Internally, you sighed. Fun wasn't the word you'd have picked. The mission followed the legend of Orihime and Hikoboshi, so costumes were handed out with instructions to blend in and act the part. Yours was a pink and white ceremonial kimono, layered, with a sheer robe meant to stand in for the hagoromo from the old story, the feathered garment worn by celestial maidens. Jin got the Hikoboshi version: white with gold embroidery, a midnight-blue cloak that faded to pale cyan at the hem.

Lucas grinned. "That's actually perfect."

Mio nodded. "You two really do look like the legend. With a twist."

You looked away before your eyes could catch Jin's again.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

By evening the festival had taken over the town. Lanterns hung overhead, vendors shouted over one another, kids ran through the crowd, and the smell of grilled squid drifted along with the music. It looked alive but something in it was also watching, so the team split up to work.

Lucas wandered stall to stall, pretending to browse while he quizzed the shopkeepers. Mio watched the crowd and kept notes in his head. Ren went to check the shrine grounds. Jin disappeared without a word, which left you finally alone — exactly how you liked it. The crowd had started to feel like too much: too many conversations, footsteps, and shoulders brushing past. You slipped past the bamboo grove to a small hill with a wooden viewing deck under an old tree, looking down over the whole town. The higher you climbed, the quieter it got. A breeze carried up the sound of distant laughter and the stars went on forever.

You let out a breath. "It's been a while since I've seen a sky like this."

Between the city, the academy, and the missions, you'd forgotten what quiet sounded like. You sat under the tree, the thin robe shifting around your shoulders with each gust, and just watched the stars and the lights below for a while.

Then a voice, closer than you expected: "What are you doing here?"

Your shoulders almost stiffened. That voice… Of course he'd find you. Without moving, you leaned your head back against the trunk and closed your eyes, pretending to be asleep, maybe he'd leave you alone. Footsteps came closer, then stopped. A few minutes passed in silence, maybe he'd actually be gone by the time you opened your eyes. Curious to find out, you cracked one eye open to check.

"Hah." Jin was sitting right beside you, arms folded and smirking. "Caught you. You just opened your eyes."

"You're unbelievable." You sat up with a sigh. "What do you want?" You crossed your arms and looked anywhere but at him.

The wind shifted. Neither of you said anything until Jin stood and walked to the railing. "I was looking for you."

"Why?"

He kept his eyes on the festival below instead of on you. "Wanted to make sure you weren't wandering around alone."

You almost laughed. "I can handle myself."

His jaw tightened. "There could be a monster out here."

For someone so bad with words, that was probably as close to concern as he got. You looked away again. "You worry too much."

"I don't."

"You literally came looking for me."

"Tch." He closed his eyes.

You bit back a smile before he could see it.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

Minutes went by, neither of you moved. The quiet wasn't uncomfortable anymore, it was just different.

"About yesterday," Jin said, still not looking at you. "I raised my voice. I’m sorry."

Jin Kamurai apologizing first? That alone was rarer than snow in summer.

You looked down. "I wasn't exactly innocent either."

"I shouldn't have shouted. But—" You looked up at him. "What I said was true. You keep pushing people away. You expect everyone to understand you while you give them nothing. You act like carrying it all yourself is noble."

His face didn't change. "Yeah." A small smirk. "You're right."

You blinked. "What?"

"I said you're right. Don't get used to it."

A laugh slipped out before you could stop it and Jin stared. "What?"

"Nothing, I just haven't heard you laugh in a while."

For a moment, neither of you had your usual guard up. The stars kept shimmering, the lanterns glowed below, and two stubborn people who'd never admit how much they cared sat there together under the same sky.

"Don't leave my side again." His voice was quiet enough that you weren't sure you'd actually heard it. 

Your heart skipped and you turned. "What?"

He was looking straight at you, no arrogance in it this time, and no sarcasm. For once, you didn't have anything to say and simply looked him in the eye. In the moonlight your usual sharp expression softened, the stars reflected in your eyes. You weren't thinking about the mission or the monsters or yesterday's fight. You were just there next to him.

He didn't say anything else. He just kept looking at you like he was trying to remember every detail; the lantern light, the way the breeze caught the edge of the sheer robe and lifted it behind you.

Slowly, almost like he wasn't sure he should, his fingers reached out and caught the edge of the fabric, holding it lightly like it might tear if he gripped too hard and you looked down. The space between you had gotten small enough that you could hear each other breathing, small enough to notice his chest rising and falling. His eyes searched yours with hesitation and something softer underneath it. The festival noise below faded into the background, it was just the two of you.

His fingers tightened slightly around the fabric. He leaned in slowly, giving you every chance to pull back but you didn't. Your pulse was loud in your ears as he got close enough that you could feel his breath—

Fireworks went off overhead, yellow sparks bloomed across the sky and faded into streaks of blue and violet. You tilted your head up on instinct.

"The night's beautiful."

"Yeah."

You smiled up at the stars and the fireworks but Jin wasn't looking at the fireworks, though. He was looking at you, the moonlight on your face and the robe still moving in the wind. For a second you really did look like the maiden from the old story. Without quite meaning to, he tightened his hold on the fabric again, not to pull you closer, just to keep it from blowing away.

You noticed. "What?"

"Nothing."

"You're staring."

He didn't answer right away. Something was sitting behind his eyes, something he almost said twice, his lips parting and closing again before he gave up on it.

"Forget it," he said finally. "Some other time."

Your heart skipped. "What was it?"

"Nothing important."

"Liar. You get that look whenever you're hiding something."

"Do I?"

"You do."

A small smirk. "Guess you're starting to know me."

"Maybe."

Neither of you noticed how close you'd drifted closer than before. The wind carried the smell of summer flowers between you. And then,

"There you two are!"

You both froze. Footsteps pounded up the wooden stairs and Lucas’ voice carried up the hill before he did. "So this is where you two are!"

You stepped back from Jin fast, smoothing your sleeves like nothing had happened. Jin let go of the robe just as quickly, and the fabric drifted free in the wind. Lucas came into view with paper bags in both hands, Ren and Mio right behind him.

"I brought food!" Lucas announced. "You guys disappeared, so Ren figured you'd be up here somewhere."

Ren gave a playful smile. "Sorry if we interrupted anything."

You shot back, “Oh no, nothing at all.”

Jin looked back at you and raised only an eyebrow to question what you had just said but you didn’t budge.

Mio glanced between you and Jin, then at the robe still settling back into place. He didn't say anything but a small, knowing smile crossed his face before it disappeared again.

"Got yakitori, takoyaki, candied apples, taiyaki, and some ramune," Lucas said, spreading it all out on the deck. "I wasn't sure what everyone likes, so I got a bit of everything."

You laughed despite yourself. "Thanks, Lucas! You’re a lifesaver."

"I know." He puffed up proudly.

Jin stood next to you, silent. "Tch."

Lucas blinked. "What?"

"Nothing."

"You look grumpier than usual. Something happened?"

"No," Jin said, right away.

"Nothing happened," you added, glancing sideways at him. For just a second your eyes met again and neither of you said anything, neither of you smiled but, somehow that quiet said more than either of you would've admitted out loud. Whatever Jin had almost said stayed unspoken between you, waiting for another night to finish it.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

The hillside slowly disappeared behind the five of you as you headed back down toward the heart of the festival. The quiet of the viewing deck gave way again to chatter and laughter. Lanterns swayed overhead, lighting up rows of stalls that stretched further than you could see. Grilled yakitori mixed with the sweetness of candied apples, and kids darted between the adults clutching folded origami.

Lucas practically lit up. "Oh! They have ring toss!" He spotted the goldfish scooping stall next, then the shooting gallery, and grabbed Ren by the sleeve without waiting for an answer. "C'mon!"

"W-wait, Lucas!" Ren stumbled after him, then turned back apologetically. "We'll catch up later!"

Mio sighed and followed at a slower pace. "Don't get into trouble."

Within seconds the three of them had vanished into the crowd.

You crossed your arms. "They're energetic."

"They're a bunch of kids," Jin said flatly. The corner of his mouth twitched up, just barely. "Come on. We should keep moving."

The investigation hadn't ended just because everything around it felt festive. You kept working your way through the crowded streets together, stopping now and then to question a vendor or size up someone who looked suspicious, without much to show for it. For once the festival actually felt like a festival. The crowd got thicker near the shrine entrance, packed shoulder to shoulder under rows of fluttering streamers. Someone bumped into you from behind, then again. The current of people was stronger than you'd expected, and when you looked over for Jin, he was gone. He'd been right beside you a second ago.

"Jin?" No answer, just strangers pushing past. You tried cutting back through the crowd, but it only carried you further away.

"Great." You sighed. "Just great." You stood on your toes, scanning for silver hair or blue robes but found nothing. "I'll just look around," you muttered.

The crowd was thick enough that even the lanterns disappeared behind the moving bodies. You walked slowly, checking every direction. No sign of Jin or the others, just unfamiliar faces.

"Excuse me." A voice cut into your thoughts. You turned to find three young men, clearly festival-goers rather than academy students, smiling at you.

"Wow, a pretty lady." One of them stepped closer. "You here alone?"

"No. I'm with my friends."

He glanced around, exaggerating the search. "I don't see anyone."

"They're nearby."

"Then," another one said, "want to walk with us while you wait?"

"No, thank you," you said evenly.

"We insist."

"We know a nice spot to watch from."

"I'm waiting for someone."

"I’m sure they won't mind."

How persistent. You bit back the urge to click your tongue. Making a scene would only draw attention you didn't need, and the mission mattered more than three drunk festival boys. You just had to stall.

"Actually—"

Before you could finish, a voice cut cleanly through the conversation.

"She said no."

The three men turned. Jin walked up at his usual unhurried pace, one hand in his pocket, his expression colder than the night air.

One of the men frowned. "And you are?"

Jin stopped beside you. Without a word, he slipped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his side.

Your eyes went wide. "Jin?"

He didn't look at you. His stare stayed fixed on the three men. "Is there a problem?" His tone didn't leave room for one.

The men exchanged glances. "Ah, sorry. We didn't know." One of them scratched the back of his neck. "Our mistake. Let's go."

They disappeared into the crowd then silence followed. You looked up,  his arm was still around your shoulders.

"They're gone."

"Yeah."

"You can let go now."

Jin pulled his arm back like he'd only just realized he still had it there. "Tch."

You smiled a little. "Thank you for saving me."

He looked away. "Don't mention it."

"You looked annoyed."

"I was. They were bothering you." He said it so plainly that you couldn't help smiling again.

"You really are kinder than you let on."

"Don't start."

"I'm complimenting you."

"I don't need it."

The crowd surged again and this time Jin moved before you could get separated,  his hand found yours, warm and firm, fingers wrapping around yours like it was just the obvious thing to do.

You stiffened. "J-Jin?"

"I'm not losing you again. Too many people, that's all." He kept walking, still holding your hand, and you followed almost without thinking. Your heart wasn't cooperating. His hand was bigger than yours, warmer than you'd expected given how cold he usually acted, and strong enough that the crowd couldn't pull you apart again. You glanced at him, could he feel how fast your heart was going? No, obviously not. You looked away. Get it together. He's only doing this because of the crowd and nothing else.

Jin wasn't any calmer. Idiot. Why am I nervous? It's just so she doesn't disappear again, that's all. He kept his eyes forward, not noticing that the tips of his ears had gone pink under his hair.

You glanced at him again, and of course he happened to look over at the same moment. Your eyes met and you both looked away just as fast. Neither of you mentioned the color rising in your faces and neither of you brought up the hand still linked between you. You'd both landed on the same excuse anyway: it's just the crowd.

"...Wishes!" An old woman's voice rang out over the noise. "Write your wishes for Tanabata! Leave your hopes to the stars!"

You noticed a small booth tucked under a tall stand of bamboo, strung with hundreds of colorful strips of paper, each one someone's wish. You slowed down, Jin kept walking until you tugged his hand.

"Hm?" He turned.

You nodded at the booth. "Let's do it."

"No. It's pointless. They're just paper."

"Come on."

"No."

"You'll regret not doing it."

"I won't."

"You definitely will."

"I definitely won't."

"Please?"

He sighed. "You're annoying."

"So I've been told."

"Fine. Only because you won't stop bothering me."

You grinned, pleased with yourself. "Knew you'd agree."

The old woman handed you each a strip of colored paper and a brush, chuckling. "Take your time. The stars are listening tonight."

You thanked her and stepped under the bamboo, lantern light catching on the wishes already hanging there. Kids carefully folded theirs, a couple wrote one together, and a family laughed quietly nearby. For a moment it felt peaceful. You uncapped the brush and wrote, after a short pause:

I wish for my curse to be lifted, and whatever happens after, may they forget me, so I'm never a burden or something they have to grieve  off of.

You looked at the words for a while before folding the paper. Beside you, Jin held his brush over the paper for a moment before he wrote what he could never actually say out loud.

I wish for her to live well, without regrets. Just a happy ending.

He looked at it in silence, then scoffed. "Ridiculous." He folded it before you could catch a glimpse and reached up to tie it to a high branch. It swayed there with the rest, lost among all the other wishes.

Neither of you saw what the other had written.

"Done?" you asked.

"Yeah."

You tied your own wish next to his. The two strips fluttered together in the breeze, close enough to touch.

"So," you said, "what'd you wish for?"

"Secret," he said immediately.

"Seriously? Selfish. Then mine's a secret too."

"I wasn't asking."

"I know." You laughed.

Together you looked up. High above the festival, the Milky Way stretched across the sky like a river of light, splitting the night in two. Somewhere up there, the old story went, Orihime and Hikoboshi got one night together before being pulled apart again. Neither of you knew that a few feet away, your two wishes were hanging side by side on the same branch; one quietly hoping for the other's future, the other quietly getting ready to let everyone go if it meant sparing them the pain.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ This is way longer than any other and I’m biased. Sorry for the cliches too. ⌯⌲ Thank you twin for giving me inspiration and brainstorming too! ⌯⌲ Song Inspiration: City Lights ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Fumbled Lines

Summary: After days of secretly rehearsing the proposal he hoped would become the happiest memory of your lives, Kaito finds every carefully memorized word slipping away the moment he sees you. As his flawless plan unravels into forgotten lines, dropped bouquet of flowers, and nervous laughter, he realizes that perhaps love was never meant to be recited from a script. Sometimes, the most unforgettable confessions are the imperfect ones spoken straight from the heart.

⌯⌲ Song inspiration: Mirage by Jason Ross

The resort's backyard had never looked more beautiful. The backyard pool shimmered beneath the fading sunset, its still surface blending almost seamlessly with the ocean stretching beyond the cliffside. Fairy lights hung from the trees, waiting for dusk to awaken them, while the salty breeze carried the scent of blooming flowers and the distant rhythm of waves kissing the shore. It was exactly how Kaito had imagined it, so why was everything going wrong?

He stared at the bouquet in his trembling hands, taking another deep breath before quietly mouthing the words he'd spent the last three days memorizing. "Don't mess this up... just don't mess this up."

He had practiced in front of the mirror until his reflection became embarrassing to look at. Recorded nearly fifty voice memos only to cringe and delete every single one. Even Lucas had caught him talking to himself in the hallway, laughing so hard that Kaito nearly threw his phone into a bush. She’s going to laugh, he thought. Not in a good way, in a “bless his heart, he tried” way. 

"You're proposing to her, not your script." Lucas' words echoed inside his head.

Easy for him to say, this was you. The girl who somehow looked beautiful without even trying, who always smiled whenever he apologized for things that weren't even his fault, who made him want to become someone stronger every single day.

His grip tightened around the bouquet. "Please let me get through one sentence..."

He heard footsteps approaching him. He looked up and immediately forgot every word he'd ever practiced. You approached slowly, the sunset’s rays wrapping around you like it had chosen to follow you. The breeze played with your hair as you smiled upon seeing him, warm enough to make his heart forget its rhythm.

"...Hi." 

The single word escaped before he could stop it, his eyes widened.

"That wasn't the opening. I…" He blinked.

"...Wait." His ears immediately burned crimson. "That wasn't... um..." He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "...Can I start over?"

You couldn't help but smile. "Of course."

"Okay." He inhaled. "You… I forgot it." A defeated groan left him as he covered his face. "I actually forgot it."

You giggled softly.

"I practiced this for days," he mumbled through his hands. "I had this whole speech memorized. I even timed myself."

"You timed yourself?"

"...Maybe."

"And rehearsed in front of the mirror?"

"...Maybe."

The corners of your lips curled higher. "And recorded yourself?"

"...Lucas told you?"

"He didn't have to."

His shoulders instantly slumped. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life." Trying to recover, he reached into his pocket for the folded speech he'd sworn not to use. Instead it’s a receipt, not the script. "...This is the flower shop receipt."

You bit your lip to keep from laughing. "Oh no..."

"Oh yes," he sighed dramatically. "This is a disaster." As he hurriedly shoved it back into his pocket, the velvet ring box slipped free. "No, no-!"

He fumbled for it, the bouquet tipped sideways. Several flowers scattered across the stone path. The ring box bounced once or twice before he managed to catch it inches away from the pool. Kaito remained crouched there for a moment, staring at the tiny box in his hands before letting out a long, defeated sigh. "...I almost proposed to the pool."

Your laughter rang through the quiet evening, simply happy. It was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard. When he looked up, you had already walked over, kneeling beside him to gather the fallen flowers one by one.

"They're okay."

"So was the proposal supposed to be."

You tucked another flower back into the bouquet before gently taking his free hand. "It still is."

His turquoise eyes searched yours. "...Really?"

"I don't need perfection."

Those four words settled every frantic thought racing through his mind. Slowly, he stood then, after a brief hesitation, folded the speech in half without reading it and slipped it back into his other pocket. "I don't think I need this anymore."

The ocean breeze filled the silence between you.

"I kept thinking..." he admitted quietly, "...if I said everything perfectly, maybe I could show you how much I love you." following a small laugh escaped him. "But standing here..." He shook his head. "...I can't remember any of it, but what I do remember..." His fingers intertwined with yours. "...is that every day with you makes me want to become better than I was yesterday."

"I want to celebrate your happiest moments. I want to be there when you have your worst days. I want to make you laugh, even if I'm usually the reason we're both laughing." His cheeks flushed brighter. "I'll probably keep overthinking, I'll still apologize too much and still get scared but..” His thumb brushed softly across your knuckles.

"I'll never stop choosing you."

With one steady breath, Kaito lowered himself onto one knee and this time, there were no rehearsed lines. No perfect script, only honesty. Opening the velvet box, he smiled shyly through eyes beginning to glisten.

"I guess... my proposal wasn't anything like I practiced." He laughed under his breath. "...But maybe that's okay." His gaze never left yours. "Because the only thing I wanted to say... was the one thing I never forgot."

"I love you, and I always will."

"So..." His smile trembled with hope. "Will you marry me?"

You didn't answer right away, tears gathered in your eyes as you laughed softly, shaking your head in disbelief. "Kaito...you really practiced all of that… just to forget everything?"

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "...Yeah."

"And somehow..." You stepped closer, your hands gently cupping his warm face. "...I think that made me love it even more."

His breath caught. "...Really?"

You nodded. "Because none of the words you memorized mattered." Your forehead rested against his. "The ones from your heart did."

A tear escaped before he could stop it. "...I'm crying… this is embarrassing."

"I think it's adorable."

He laughed through watery eyes as you slipped your hand into his once more.

"My answer..." Your smile was radiant beneath the first stars appearing overhead. "...is yes."

For a heartbeat, he simply stared. "...Yes?"

"Yes."

"...Really?"

You laughed. "Really." 

The biggest grin spread across his face before he pulled you into a hug so full of relief that it nearly lifted you off your feet. "You have no idea how happy you've made me," he whispered against your hair.

As the fairy lights flickered to life around the pool, soft music drifted through the evening air. Kaito chuckled, suddenly remembering one final secret. "...There's one more thing."

You tilted your head. "What is it?"

His face turned red all over again. "I… also practiced our first dance."

"You did?"

"...Thirty-two tutorials." You laughed so hard you nearly cried again. Holding your hand against his heart, he smiled sheepishly.

"So..." He bowed with exaggerated nervousness, extending his free hand toward you. "Would you do me the honor of letting me mess this part up too?"

Your fingers slipped into his without hesitation. "I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

Together, under the glow of fairy lights and the endless waves of the sea, the two of you swayed across the stone patio. Kaito stepped on your foot exactly once and he apologized immediately. You only laughed, rested your head against his shoulder, and realized that the most unforgettable love stories were never the perfect ones, they were the ones imperfectly, wholeheartedly lived together.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Song inspo lives rent free in my mind, I finally found someone who I can give it to! I love this song so much. ⌯⌲ If you noticed I keep mentioning Sunset themes, it's what I like and I shouldn't overuse that tbh. (I mean you could never go wrong with sunset aesthetic)

⌯⌲ This Kaito card is so cute! There’s a lot I wanted to tell more but it’s now in this fic and can I just say I’m proud of Kaito’s character development overall? Yes, very much so. I used to dislike his raised voice so I minimize my volume, putting that aside, we all have a little kaito in ourselves. So carry on and be brave!

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Love Unto, The Flowered Path To You

Summary: Time has a way of turning ordinary moments into forever. Underneath drifting petals and the endless song of the sea, Elias who has spent years hiding behind laughter discovers that the simplest words are the hardest to say and to walk the rest of life's flowered path beside him.

⌯⌲ Pls listen to this song while you read: Old Long Since

The sea had always been honest, unlike people.

Its waves crashed against the cliffs without pretense, retreated without shame, and returned as though distance had never existed. Every tide was a confession, every breeze carried a truth no one dared to say aloud. Perhaps that was why Elias liked the ocean, it never wore a mask.

The balcony overlooking the beach had become yours long before either of you realized it. At first, it was accidental. A mission had ended nearby, one evening turned into another, another into a week. Weeks melted into months, months into years then suddenly, you couldn't remember a version of your life that didn't have Elias somewhere within it.

"You've become predictable." The voice arrived with the sea breeze. You looked over your shoulder and there he was, leaning lazily against the balcony doors. His white suit was immaculate despite the salty wind, every accessory catching streaks of sunlight. A bouquet rested against one arm, wrapped in deep sapphire ribbon. White hydrangeas mingled with purple pansy flowers, soft lavender blooms peeking between them.

"Elias."

He smiled enough to curl one corner of his lips. "There you are."

"I've been here."

"So you have."

He stepped beside you. The scent of the ocean mingled with his faint cologne and the fragrance of fresh blossoms. You weren't sure which scent you associated with him anymore, perhaps all of them. The wind brushed through his ash-brown hair, lifting the lighter-colored ends until they shimmered beneath the descending sun.

Beautiful. You'd thought so the first time you'd met him, you still thought so now even after years.

"You've been staring."

"So have you."

"Touche."

The corners of his eyes curved. "I was admiring my favorite view."

"The sea?"

"You."

Heat bloomed across your face. "...You say things like that so casually."

"I've had years of practice."

"It still sounds rehearsed."

"It is."

He answered so quickly that you blinked.

"...What?"

"I rehearse them."

"..."

"I simply happen to mean every word."

Your heartbeat betrayed you and it always did around him. You'd accompanied one another through impossible missions, fought anomalies together, patched each other's wounds countless times, spent sleepless nights organizing reports after exhausting expeditions, cooked together, fallen asleep over paperwork together and so on.

Life had become wonderfully ordinary and Elias had quietly become woven into every ordinary moment. You no longer noticed the change, you only noticed the comfort. There had been the slow, terrifying realization that the mask he wore for the world; the charming, untouchable, unreadable jester was not the face he wore for you, not anymore. 

The silence settled comfortably, the sea filled every pause. Far below, waves shimmered beneath the light. Petals drifted lazily through the air from flowering vines climbing the nearby stone walls.

It’s spring. You wondered when spring had arrived. Hadn't winter ended yesterday? Time had become strange, it always did when happiness stopped asking permission.

"You know..." Elias rested his elbows against the railing. "I've been thinking, a dangerous hobby."

"It usually is for you."

"Hm."

He looked genuinely offended.

"I'd like to think my thoughts are elegant."

"No, they're suspicious."

"They're artistic."

"No, they're concerning."

"They're misunderstood."

"They're impossible to read."

At that, his smile lingered. "...Perhaps."

You glanced sideways for just a heartbeat, something changed. It was gone before you could understand it. His expression softened and the smile remained. Yet his eyes… looked impossibly far away like someone remembering another lifetime.

Most people misunderstood Elias, they thought he laughed because life amused him. You knew better, he laughed because silence was dangerous, because jokes redirected questions and riddles let him answer honestly without revealing anything.

Like the jesters in forgotten kingdoms where he could mock kings, reveal uncomfortable truths, make everyone laugh before anyone noticed he was lonely.

He had once told you, "If everyone is busy wondering whether I'm serious..."

"...they stop wondering how I really feel."

You hadn't forgotten and neither had he.

His laughter escaped softly. "I was hoping you'd grow tired of me eventually."

You turned fully toward him. "I don't think that's possible."

The words left before you thought about them, his laughter stopped. The breeze continued and waves crashed gently against stone.

Elias stared like he was searching your face for evidence you'd made a joke.

"...You're terrible."

"What?"

"You say dangerous things."

"I just answered honestly."

He looked away. "...That's unfair."

"Elias?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, the motion was oddly awkward and you frowned.

"You've been strange all day."

"Have I?"

"Yes."

"I've maintained my usual charm."

"You've forgotten to tease me three times. You almost walked into a door and you've sighed approximately-"

"You counted?"

"I was concerned."

He laughed warmly, the kind of laugh almost no one else heard.

"...You're frighteningly observant."

"I've spent years observing you."

"And that's exactly why I'm nervous."

You blinked. "Nervous?" Elias Pratt? Nervous? You had watched this man face monsters, charm people, confuse enemies, smile through disasters yet now, he looked embarrassed.

"...You're joking."

"I wish I were."

Then very slowly he reached inside his jacket, you watched curiously until a small simple velvet box appeared and your breathing stopped.

"...Elias?"

His ears were actually pink, the notorious gentleman, the unreadable jester, the man whose smile had fooled an entire academy couldn't meet your eyes.

"...I..." He laughed nervously. "I had a speech."

"You...?"

"I memorized it but I forgot all of it."

You had never seen him like this, ever. He scratched his cheek. "I even practiced… in front of a mirror… twice."

"..."

"Okay… seven times."

A tiny laugh escaped you before you could stop it. He sighed dramatically. "There it is."

"What?"

"You laughed."

His own small smile returned in tenderness. "I was hoping you would."

The wind caught his hair. For the first time since you'd known him, he looked less like a mysterious jester and more like an ordinary man hopelessly in love. "...I spent years wondering if I deserved to stand beside you." His voice had become quiet, gone was the playful rhythm, the riddles, the clever diversions and only honesty remained.

"I failed people."

The sea answered in gentle waves. "I failed Dionysia back then." His fingers tightened around the velvet box. "I failed myself."

You opened your mouth, he shook his head gently. "Please let me finish,"

"I kept smiling..." He smiled faintly. "That's what we do."

"I thought..." His eyes shimmered beneath the morning light. "...if I could keep everyone laughing… no one would notice how empty I felt."

The silence that followed wasn't painful, it was sacred. Then he looked at you, not through you, not around you but at you. "You ruined that."

You blinked. "...I did?"

"You looked." His voice trembled with quiet laughter. "You looked beneath the mask, you stayed."

"..."

"You made ordinary days feel extraordinary, you made missions feel like dates, you made paperwork tolerable."

"You made home..." His smile broke into something achingly genuine. "...without ever asking me to become someone else."

He slowly opened the velvet box, inside nestled against deep midnight fabric rested a delicate ring. Its silver band caught the rays of sunlight, a sapphire at its center reflecting the sea beyond the balcony. Simple, elegant and perfect. Elias inhaled once, twice then with cheeks dusted a color you'd never thought you'd see on him, he lowered himself onto one knee.

"...I spent so long hiding behind riddles." A sheepish laugh escaped him. "So allow me to be wonderfully terrible at speaking plainly just this once."

His slate-blue eyes met yours, unwavering and unmasked. "I love you." The words were astonishingly simple. No flourish, no metaphor, no joke, just the simple truth.

"I loved you yesterday, I love you now, I suspect I'll still love you when we're old enough to complain about our backs after tasks."

A watery laugh escaped you.

"So..." He swallowed. "...would you allow this former fool...this man who has spent years finding his way back to himself because of you...to spend the rest of his life walking the flowered path beside yours?"

The world seemed to hold its breath, petals drifted between you like blessings carried on the wind and for the first time since you had met Elias Pratt there was no mask and no performance. Only a man whose heart fluttered wildly, who had forgotten every polished speech he had rehearsed because the only words that mattered had already found their way to you.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Pansy flowers means loving thoughts, remembrance of absent friends, free thinking, consideration, meditation, and even admiration. 

⌯⌲ White hydrangeas mainly symbolize purity, grace, and abundance, alongside historical ties to vanity or sincere love.

⌯⌲ There are 2 music/songs that inspired me: Flutters by Dabin (for the entire song) Old Long Since by Hoyo-mix (BGM)

⌯⌲ Sorry I was out for a month or two, I was busy watching the FIFA World Cup, now I’m back! ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Hidden Flavor

Summary: With the Grand Ball only a day away, preparations are in full swing across Darkwick Academy. While helping Sho choose an outfit for the event, you find yourself facing an entirely different challenge: keeping your jealousy under control. Sho naturally finds the situation hilarious. As admirers gather around him and his shameless flirting pushes every one of your buttons, what begins as playful bickering quickly turns into a heartfelt reminder of where his attention truly lies.

The Grand Ball is tomorrow and that fact has managed to turn Darkwick Academy into complete chaos. Students rushed through hallways carrying decorations, invitations exchanged hands, dresses and suits were discussed with utmost seriousness. Meanwhile, you were standing on the first-floor receiving area, trying very hard not to lose your patience. Specifically because of one person named Sho, the infuriatingly talented and unfortunately for your peace of mind, ridiculously handsome. The sound of shoes against marble echoed through the corridor and you looked up. 

Then immediately regretted it. "...You've got to be kidding me."

Sho leaned casually against the railing above you as if he had stepped out of some romance novel. His white polo was partially unbuttoned at the collar, sleeves rolled up carelessly to his elbows, a mustard necktie hung loosely over his neck. His silver-blue hair looked slightly messy, as though he'd been changing outfits for the last hour knowing him, he probably had.

One hand rested lazily on the railing. The other toyed with the necklace hanging around his neck then he bit lightly against the chain and winked directly at you and you just stared, Sho grinned. "Oh?" His voice dripped with amusement. "That look means you like this one. You looked for three whole seconds."

"No, I didn't."

"You absolutely did."

"I was judging your fashion choices."

"Sure." The smirk on his face grew wider. "You were staring."

You folded your arms. "I was not."

"Liar."

"You are unbelievably annoying."

"And yet you're dating me."

"..."

"..."

"...Unfortunately."

Sho burst out laughing, the sound echoed through the hall and you hated how much you liked hearing it. Unfortunately, there was another problem, several girls stood not far behind you and they were very obviously staring at Sho; whispering, giggling and pointing. One of them nearly squealed when Sho pushed his hair back. Your eye twitched and you slowly turned around, the girls froze as you smiled in an unfriendly way. The kind of smile that silently communicated: Leave immediately. The girls visibly panicked, one grabbed another's arm, the entire group hurried away while bowing apologetically.

"S-Sorry!"

"We were just looking!"

"We're leaving!"

Within seconds, they vanished and a laugh followed from a distance, you turned. Sho was practically folding over the railing, as if he looked entirely too pleased with himself. "Oh, that was priceless."

You narrowed your eyes. "Not a word."

"I didn't even say anything."

"You were thinking about it."

Sho wiped a tear from his eye. "You scared them."

"They were staring and you're my boyfriend." The words left your mouth before you could stop them. 

Sho blinked then smiled, a real smile this time different from his usual cocky grin, the kind he reserved only for you. Sho apparently wasn't finished causing trouble, a moment later he pushed himself off the railing and descended the staircase, slowly like he knew exactly what he was doing, which he probably did. You watched him approach, one, two, three steps until he stood directly in front of you, closely as his blue eyes sparkled with mischief.

"What?"

You immediately grew suspicious, that expression never meant anything good.

"What what?"

"That look."

"What look?"

"The one that says you're about to be annoying."

Sho laughed. "You know me too well."

"Unfortunately."

"There it is again."

You tried to maintain your composure, he reached up and gently flicked your forehead.

"Ow."

"You've been glaring at everyone all afternoon."

"They keep looking at you."

"And?"

"And I don't like it."

The confession escaped before you could stop it. For a second, neither of you spoke, Sho stared then his grin returned worse than before. "Oh, you're jealous."

"I am not."

"You absolutely are."

"I am not."

"You are."

You pushed his shoulder, Sho didn't move.

"You enjoy this way too much."

"A little."

"A little?"

"Okay." He laughed. "A lot."

Your irritation only grew which somehow made him happier and you hated that, Sho leaned closer.

"You know something?"

"What?"

"You're cute when you're jealous."

Your face immediately heated. "No." You shoved him again, he caught your wrist effortlessly enough to stop you, his thumb brushed lightly against your hand. The teasing expression softened slightly.

"I mean it."

You blinked. Sho's gaze remained fixed on yours.

"I know I joke around a lot." He admitted it immediately. "But I'm serious about one thing."

The playful atmosphere faded, his voice lowered. "Tomorrow, I'm dancing with you."

Your heart skipped.

"No one else." His fingers tightened slightly around yours.

"Got it?"

You looked away because looking directly at him suddenly felt impossible. "...You better."

Sho laughed softly. "There she is."

The comfortable silence lasted only a few seconds, Sho possessed an incurable condition known as being Sho. He leaned down near your ear far too close, you could feel the warmth of his breath. "If you're this jealous now..." His voice became a teasing whisper. "...maybe I should reward you tomorrow night."

You froze completely, your brain stopped functioning. "What."

Sho's grin widened. "Oh, you heard me."

"SHO."

"What?"

"You can't just say things like that."

"Why not?"

"You know why not."

His shoulders shook with laughter. "You should see your face right now."

You pushed him away immediately hard this time, he actually stumbled a step because he was laughing too much.

"You're impossible!"

"And you're adorable."

"Stop it."

"No."

"Stop."

"Never."

The two of you continued arguing all the way down the corridor. At least, that's what it looked like from the outside, beneath every complaint and every teasing remark was something neither of you needed to say aloud, trust and affection. The certainty that tomorrow, when the ballroom lights illuminated the academy and music filled the grand hall Sho would be waiting for you out of everyone in the room, he would only be looking for one person. Despite all your jealousy, all your worries, and all his shameless teasing, you knew that whenever Sho's eyes found yours, they never lingered anywhere else for long and that was proof enough.

NOTES:

⌯⌲ Inspo song: Gule Gule ⌯⌲ OUGH he’s FLIRTY IN THIS CARD ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Satire for the Lonely

Summary: Curiosity becomes dangerous when you grow drawn to Elias Pratt, the academy’s disgraced former Dionysia Captain whose smiles hide far more than they reveal. Despite endless warnings to stay away, you continue following him deeper into secrets, riddles, and a connection neither of you fully understands. Beneath Elias’ gentlemanly charm lies something unsettling: red threads of fate, hidden truths, and a heart locked away behind the mask of a jester. The closer you get to him, the harder it becomes to tell whether you are falling in love… or walking willingly into ruin.

⌯⌲ Pls listen to the music inspo while reading: Fruit of Lies

The first time you follow Elias Pratt is not intentional or at least, that is the lie you tell yourself. It begins with the sound of laughter, the warm kind that fills corridors and makes students linger after curfew. You hear it somewhere behind the stained-glass hallway connecting the Dionysia wing to the abandoned theatre rooms, and before you realize it, your feet are already moving.

Darkwick at night is a living thing, candles flickering without wind. Portraits blink when no one looks directly at them. The halls inhale secrets and exhale rumors, students learn quickly not to wander alone after midnight. But there you are, following him. Elias Pratt walks several paces ahead, hands tucked into the pockets of his dark coat, posture relaxed enough to seem harmless. Moonlight spills through the windows and paints silver across his pale skin. His ash brown hair fading lighter at the tips catches the light like burnt parchment. Even from behind, there is something theatrical about him.

A performer, a fool, a jester. You have heard enough stories already.

"Don’t get close to him."

"He’s dangerous."

"You won’t understand until it’s too late."

But every time you ask why, nobody answers properly. They only look uncomfortable as though speaking of Elias aloud might summon him, and perhaps it does. He stops walking, without turning around, he says lightly,

“You’re terribly bad at stalking people.”

Your entire body freezes, the corridor suddenly feels too narrow and silent. Slowly, Elias glances over his shoulder. Slate-blue eyes meet yours, gleaming with amusement sharp enough to cut skin.

“Should I pretend not to notice next time?” he asks. “Or would that ruin the thrill for you?”

“I wasn’t stalking you.”

“Mhm.”

“You were walking suspiciously.”

“That’s worse,” he says with a laugh. “Now I sound interesting.”

He finally turns fully toward you, expression gentle enough to fool anyone unfamiliar with him. Unfortunately, that includes you.

“You should go back to your dormitory,” Elias says softly. “Curious people tend to meet their ends first around here.”

“Is that a warning?”

“No.” His smile deepens. “A spoiler.”

You should leave, anyone with common sense would. Instead, you step closer.

“Then why are you here?”

For a moment, something flickers behind his eyes, surprised and gone almost immediately.

“Hm,” he hums. “You ask dangerous questions.”

“And you avoid answering them.”

“That’s because answers are boring.” Elias places a hand dramatically against his chest. “Mystery is much more romantic.”

You almost laugh despite yourself, that is the first mistake. The second is continuing to meet him afterward.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

Elias appears unpredictably after that; sometimes in the library, lounging across forbidden archives like a cat that owns the place, sometimes on rooftops, sometimes seated alone in the old theatre watching an empty stage as dust dances through the spotlight. And every single time, he looks at you as though he had expected you to come, like he had already seen it- already planned it.

“You’re staring again,” he says one evening.

You blink, realizing he caught you observing the way his fingers shuffled tarot cards with impossible dexterity.

“You make it difficult not to.”

“Oh?” Elias fans the cards between elegant fingers. “Should I take that as admiration or concern?”

“Neither.”

“What a bad liar.”

His smile curves lazily. You hate how your heartbeat changes whenever he looks directly at you and it’s ridiculous. You barely know him, you only know fragments; a former captain of Dionysia House and punished, someone who failed his duties badly enough to lose his position. Someone people fear, but when he speaks to you, he is patient, attentive- almost tender. He notices details no one else does, the way you rub your wrists when nervous, how you prefer sitting near exits, how your expression changes before you ask questions. It unsettles you, nobody else ever has.

“You analyze people too much,” you tell him one night.

Elias rests his cheek against one hand.

“And you trust too easily.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Another lie.”

The corner of his mouth lifts. “You followed me into abandoned hallways.”

“That’s just curiosity.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

He leans forward slightly then, voice quieter. “But satisfaction brought it back.”

Something about the way he says it makes heat creep into your face. Elias notices immediately, and his laughter rings softly through the empty room.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

The mission changes everything, it is supposed to be simple. Except everything goes wrong. You do not even realize you are being hunted until the corridor erupts with shouts behind you.

“Run,” Elias says instantly. The two of you sprint through dim passageways beneath the building, footsteps echoing violently against stone. Your lungs gasping for air. Somewhere behind pursuers close in.

“What did you do?” you hiss.

“What makes you think it was me?”

“Elias—”

He grabs your wrist suddenly and yanks you sideways. A hidden compartment, the door slams shut behind you and darkness swallows everything, the space is tiny.  You stumble directly into his chest, your breath catches. Elias braces one arm against the wall beside your head to steady both of you as footsteps from outside, getting closer. Then silence, neither of you move. You can feel him breathing, warm and slow. Your bodies are nearly pressed together from lack of space. His coat brushes your knees. One of your hands ends up trapped against his chest and under layers of fabric, you can feel his heartbeat strangely steady as though danger does not frighten him at all.

“You’re shaking,” he murmurs.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

His voice is barely above a whisper now. In the dark it sounds different and less playful. Something shifts gently near your hand and it is his fingers. They hesitate before carefully wrapping around your wrist, like a protection and your pulse becomes unbearable.

“Scared?” Elias asks quietly.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

You glare despite the darkness. “That’s terrible comfort.”

“You misunderstand.” His thumb brushes your skin once. “Fear keeps people alive.”

Footsteps pass again outside, you instinctively press closer to him and Elias goes completely still. For the first time since you met him, silence falls over him entirely, there’s only tension. You realize then how close your faces are. If either of you moved even slightly- your thoughts cut off when Elias suddenly laughs softly under his breath.

“You really are dangerous,” he whispers.

“What?”

“You make me hesitate.”

Something twists painfully in your chest, before you can ask what he means, the footsteps disappear completely. Elias opens the compartment door as moonlight floods in and just like that, the moment dies and he steps away first.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

People notice afterward, how often Elias walks beside you. How his gaze finds you in crowded rooms, how you linger near each other too long. Rumors spread quickly in Darkwick and Towa corners you eventually.

“Sundew is poisonous,” he says flatly.

You blink. “Sundew?”

“Elias.”

“That’s a flower.”

“A carnivorous one.”

The silence afterward feels intentional, warning enough but warnings have stopped working on you because the more you learn about Elias, the less monstrous he becomes. You begin noticing cracks beneath the performance; moments when his smile falters after everyone looks away, the exhaustion hidden behind humor, the way he watches others celebrate without joining them, the way loneliness clings to him like perfume.

One rainy evening, you find him alone backstage in the abandoned theatre. He sits at the edge of the stage with his head tilted back, eyes closed.

“You’re quiet tonight,” you say gently.

Elias opens one eye. “And you’re persistent.”

You sit beside him anyway, neither of you speak for a while as rain taps softly outside.

Then Elias suddenly asks, “Do you know why jesters existed?”

You glance at him. “To entertain?”

“That’s what kings told themselves.” A faint smile touches his lips. “But jesters were useful because they could say things nobody else survived saying.”

His gaze drifts toward the dark audience seats. “They laughed so people wouldn’t notice the truth.”

Something about his voice makes your chest ache.

“Is that what you do?” you ask carefully.

Elias laughs softly. “You make me sound tragic.”

“Aren’t you?”

For a moment, he says nothing then he looks at you fully, and the smile disappears.

“Yes,” he says quietly.

The honesty shocks you more than any lie could have, you realize then that Elias only tells the truth when it hurts.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

You start dreaming about red threads after that, thin crimson strings tangled around your fingers and around his, leading somewhere dark and somewhere irreversible. Then one night, you finally see them, not in dreams but reality. You wake unable to sleep and wander through the academy until faint light catches your eye beneath a half-open door.

Inside sits Elias all alone, scissors glint between his fingers. And in his hand are red threads, they stretch through the darkness like veins. Some threads are cut already and others remain taut. Your blood runs cold, Elias notices you instantly. He does not look surprised, only tired. The scissors snap shut, one crimson thread coils around his wrist like a living thing.

“What is this?” you whisper.

He studies you silently, then terrifyingly smiles at you.

“Connection,” Elias says.

The thread wrapped around his fingers tightens. “A terrifying thing.”

You stare at the threads, at the countless cut ends littering the floor. “You’re severing them?”

“Some people should not stay connected.”

“You’re talking like fate is real.”

“Oh, fate is very real.” His gaze lifts slowly toward you. “And very cruel.”

Then you notice one red thread thin and unbroken. Connected to him, connected to you. Your breath catches. For the first time since meeting him something unreadable fractures across his expression, a tiny fear.

“You should leave,” he says quietly.

But you cannot move. “Why is it connected to me?”

Elias looks down at the thread around his fingers, his grip tightens hard enough to draw blood.

“Because,” he says softly, “you keep choosing me.”

The room feels unbearably cold.

“You could cut it.”

“Yes.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

Silence lingers for a short while and then Elias laughs. Except it sounds wrong, broken at the edges.

“Curiosity,” he murmurs.

His eyes meet yours again, you step toward him before thinking, the red thread trembles. Elias immediately raises the scissors, sharp and threatening, but his hand shakes.

“Don’t,” he warns softly.

You stop because he suddenly looks afraid of himself.

“You think I’m kind,” Elias says quietly. “That’s your first mistake.”

“I never said you were kind.”

“No.” A hollow smile. “You said I was lonely.”

The scissors press against the thread. One movement, one cut and it’s finished. Yet he cannot do it. His heart stays hidden behind performances and riddles and cruel laughter. Connection terrifies him more than isolation ever did. A jester can mock higher people, manipulate crowds, and wear endless masks. But love? Love is honest. Love places your heart into another person’s hands and hopes they will not crush it. For someone like Elias, that must feel unbearable.

“You don’t have to cut it,” you whisper.

“You don’t know what happens if I don’t.”

“Then tell me.”

Elias smiles sadly. “There’s the cat again.”

You slowly step closer until the scissors lower slightly, close enough to see exhaustion beneath his eyes, close enough to see how tightly the thread winds around his fingers. Hurting him. Binding him too.

“You said connection was terrifying,” you murmur.

“It is.”

“Then why do you look sad?”

Something inside Elias finally cracks, just enough for you to glimpse the person hidden beneath the jester’s mask, because beneath the wit and deception and dangerous smiles, Elias Pratt is painfully human and devastatingly lonely.

“You really want the truth?” he asks quietly.

“Yes.”

His eyes close briefly. “Because if I let myself keep this thread…” His voice nearly disappears. “…I might start wanting things I can’t have.”

Your chest tightens painfully, rain begins outside somewhere far away, like applause after a tragedy. Elias finally looks at you not like a game, not like a curiosity and not like another piece on the board, but like someone capable of destroying him completely. The scissors slip from his fingers, clatter against the floor as he lets the thread remain uncut.

…Or was this all an act? Who knows…

NOTES: 

⌯⌲ My take on that Jester x Princess trope with a somewhat twist? 

⌯⌲ My first Elias fic and we breaking him already..

⌯⌲ the title can also mean:  “A performance made by lonely people for lonely people.”  or “Humor used to survive emotional isolation.” ⌯⌲ despite Elias trying to sever connections with the reed thread/string, he secretly wants someone to stay. (yes let’s cope more) ⌯⌲ Sundew is a carnivorous plant of the genus Drosera that traps and digests insects using sticky, hair-like glands that resemble dew drops. These plants thrive in nutrient-poor wetland habitats, using insects for nutrients rather than traditional soil fertilization. They are popular for their unique, glistening, and "innocent" appearance (now you know where I’m getting at) ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Late Night Rain

Summary: Haru wakes from a nightmare tied to the trauma surrounding his prosthetic arm. Usually energetic and endlessly cheerful, he finds himself unable to hide his vulnerability from you. Instead of letting you leave, Haru quietly asks you to stay beside him, leading to a tender late-night moment filled with unspoken understanding. As rain falls outside, you soothe him back to sleep with gentle touches and a lullaby, hoping that one day he’ll no longer have to carry his pain alone.

⌯⌲ The lullaby that you humm: The Last Night in Lahai-Roi

Rain tapped softly against the windows endlessly. The room was dim except for the pale blue glow leaking through the curtains. Lightning occasionally flickered somewhere far away, briefly illuminating the scattered energy drink cans on Haru’s desk and Peekaboo curled into a tiny ball near the foot of the bed.

You slept beside Haru beneath tangled blankets, your face half-hidden against the pillow. Unlike him, your sleep was light enough that even someone coming down the stairs that’s close enough to the bedroom could wake you. So when Haru suddenly jerked upright with a sharp inhale, the entire bed shook. His breathing was ragged and uneven, like he had surfaced from drowning. For a few seconds, he didn’t move at all. The rain outside continued to fall.

His silver eyes stared blankly ahead and unfocused, strands of his hair clinging to his forehead. Moonlight caught the metallic sheen of his prosthetic arm, the cold steel contrasting harshly against the warmth of his bare skin. The mechanical fingers twitched once, then clenched tightly. You stirred a moment later, blinking sleepily into the darkness.

“…Haru?”

Your voice came out soft and hoarse with sleep, he flinched slightly at hearing your voice. You pushed yourself up slowly, rubbing one eye before looking toward him properly. Even in the dim light, you could tell something was wrong immediately.

Haru was always loud, bright, cheerful in a way that overwhelmed entire rooms. Even exhausted, he smiled. Even stressed, he joked. Even when everyone else was falling apart, Haru somehow stood at the center holding everything together with ridiculous optimism and caffeine. But right now he looked painfully small, the silence around him felt unnatural. Rainwater rolled down the window behind him, streaking the glass like tears.

“…Bad dream?” you asked quietly.

Haru didn’t answer, his shoulders rose and fell. You noticed his gaze slowly lower toward his right prosthetic arm. Something in your chest tightened, you didn’t need him to say it as you had seen that look before. The distant expression, the way his jaw locked slightly. The subtle tension whenever conversations drifted too close to his arm, to the past, to things he carefully buried beneath laughter and endless energy.

You never pushed for answers not because you didn’t care. In time, you know that he’ll say it all when he’s ready. So instead, you simply shifted closer beside him, close enough for your shoulder to brush his back. The room remained quiet except for the rain, after a long moment, you spoke gently.

“…Do you want a warm drink before going back to sleep?”

You stretched slightly, trying to sound casual despite the worry curling inside you.

“I kind of want one too.”

Haru still didn’t answer immediately then he turned toward you. The expression on his face caught you off guard- he looks tired and vulnerable. Before you could move to get up, cold mechanical fingers lightly wrapped around your wrist.

You blinked. Haru’s grip wasn’t tight, it felt hesitant like he was afraid you might pull away.

“…Don’t go.”

Your breath caught slightly, it startled you more than if he had shouted. He was looking at you now with something painfully soft in his eyes. The storm outside rumbled quietly, he gave your wrist the faintest tug. Those silver eyes met yours fully now, no jokes hiding behind them. And suddenly, he looked like a lost child asking not to be left alone, your heart melted instantly.

“…Okay,” you whispered.

Haru visibly relaxed at that single word. You shifted back against the headboard, pulling the blankets around your lap. For a moment he simply watched you almost uncertainly, before slowly laying back down beside you but Haru buried his face against your waist, arms loosely wrapping around you while carefully avoiding pressing the metal arm uncomfortably against your side. The position was so unexpectedly clingy that warmth flooded your chest immediately. You looked down at him in disbelief.

“Haru,” you whispered with a tiny laugh, “you’re acting like a baby.”

“I’m sleep deprived,” he mumbled against the fabric near your stomach. “That doesn’t count.”

“You say that every time.”

“Because it’s true every time.”

Despite yourself, you smiled. There he was, a little bit of his usual self. Your fingers slowly moved into his hair; soft and slightly messy from sleep. You gently combed your fingers through his hair, scratching lightly against his scalp the way he liked. His reaction was immediate, Haru exhaled quietly, shoulders loosening beneath your touch.

“…There,” you murmured. “Better?”

“Mhm.”

“You’re too easy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It absolutely is.”

He huffed softly and you felt the faintest smile against you as the room settled again afterward. The mechanical arm rested beside him on the sheets, unmoving now. Yet even without words, you could feel the lingering ache surrounding it. You wondered what he had seen in that nightmare, what memories haunted him enough to rip him awake like that… or maybe something worse. Maybe not the physical pain at all, maybe the loneliness afterward, the helplessness and the fear. 

You looked down at him quietly. 

Haru spent so much of himself taking care of everyone else that you sometimes forgot who took care of him. Jabberwock relied on him. Others complained about him constantly, yet still followed him anyway because Haru somehow kept the entire house from collapsing into chaos. He motivated people even when they hated it, he worried constantly like a mother, worked endlessly like a father, smiled endlessly and somewhere along the way, he had probably forgotten he was allowed to be weak and rest too.

Your hand slowed slightly against his hair.

“Haru?”

“Hm?”

“You know…” your voice softened, “you don’t always have to pretend you’re okay.”

His hold around your waist tightened faintly.

“…I know.”

But the answer sounded uncertain, you continued gently running your fingers through his scalp.

“I mean it.”

“…Sometimes I feel stupid.”

“For what?”

“The nightmare stuff.”

His voice was muffled slightly against you.

“It’s just a dream, right? But sometimes I wake up and it still feels real.” He laughed weakly. “Kinda pathetic of me.”

Your chest ached, you immediately shook your head.

“That’s not pathetic.”

Haru didn’t respond. You looked out toward the rain-covered window.

“I think…” you began slowly, choosing your words carefully, “when people get hurt badly enough, some pain stays longer than it should.”

The storm flashed pale blue across the room.

“And pretending it doesn’t hurt anymore won’t magically make it disappear.”

For a while, Haru simply listened.

“…You always say things like that.”

“Like what?”

“Stuff that hits too hard at two in the morning.”

You laughed softly under your breath.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

His voice had grown sleepier now, your fingers continued threading through his hair slowly and rhythmically. You could practically feel the exhaustion dragging at him again.

“…Can you sing me a lullaby?” he asked suddenly.

You blinked.

“You’ll regret this when you hear my voice.”

“I doubt it.”

You sighed dramatically, though affection tugged at every word.

“Fine,” you whispered. “Only because you asked nicely.”

“I always ask nicely.”

He laughed softly.

Carefully, you leaned your head back against the headboard and began humming softly. The kind meant for quiet nights and tired hearts. Your fingers never stopped moving through his hair while you sang. The rain outside accompanied you like background music, soft percussion against the windows. Gradually, Haru relaxed further against your waist, the tension left him piece by piece; his breathing slowed and the faint crease between his brows disappeared. You lowered your gaze toward him, eyes already closed now. Without his usual grin and loud energy, he looked unexpectedly delicate, just a man carrying more weight than he should. Your voice softened even more toward the end of the lullaby. You gently brushed his bangs away from his forehead.

“…I hope,” you whispered quietly after the song ended, “that someday the nightmares stop hurting you.”

The rain continued falling.

“I hope you can forget the pain enough to sleep peacefully.”

Your fingers lightly traced through his hair once more.

“And I hope,” you murmured almost silently, “you never have to carry it alone again.”

No response came, only slow even breathing and you smiled faintly. Haru had completely fallen asleep, his hold around your waist had loosened; soft and unconscious now, like he simply wanted reassurance you were still there. You looked down at him fondly and carefully, you adjusted the blanket around his shoulders so he wouldn’t get cold. Peekaboo stirred near the foot of the bed before waddling sleepily closer, curling near Haru’s side again.

The storm outside slowly softened, the rain no longer sounded lonely. You leaned your head gently against the bed headboard behind you, continuing to card your fingers lightly through Haru’s hair even after he was asleep just in case he woke up frightened again. And with pale blue light spilling softly into the room, you fall asleep too. Still holding him together quietly in your arms.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ I wrote this while it was raining in the afternoon with the perfect scene and then listening to this Album hits so hard it fits.

⌯⌲ I saw that scene too where women do the scalp massage thing at their men so I finally get to use it here!

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Deathless Night

Summary: After a string of successful missions, Rui Mizuki invites you into his bar late one evening as a quiet thank-you. What starts as a playful night of cocktails and teasing turns into something softer; shared conversations, a gentle escort back to your dorm, and late-night messages neither of you want to end. Beneath all Rui’s flirtatious charm lies the loneliness of a curse he can never escape, but with you, even ordinary moments begin to feel precious enough to cherish forever. By the end of the night, Rui finally finds the perfect name for the cocktail that he made only for you. 

⌯⌲ Inspo song: Sandali by Cup of Joe

Moonlight shines behind stained glass windows, bleeding muted purples and crimson reds across the stone hallways like diluted wine. You had just finished returning from the library when a familiar voice called out from behind you.

“Ah, there you are.”

You turned and saw Rui Mizuki leaned casually against the doorway of the bar. One gloved hand rested in his pocket while the other lifted in an easy wave. His pale ruby-colored eyes curved with amusement the moment they landed on you. As if he’s not waiting for you all night outside, taking the time to impress you. Rui looked lighter and relaxed, brimming with excitement. He straightened his posture from the doorway and motioned toward the warmly lit bar behind him.

“Come in for a bit?”

You blinked. “At this hour?”

“Mhm.” His smile widened playfully. “I wanted to make you a cocktail.”

The way he said it made you laugh quietly.

“You’re inviting me into your bar just to make me a drink?”

“Not just any drink,” Rui corrected dramatically, placing a hand over his chest. “A special drink.”

“Why am I receiving special treatment?”

He hummed thoughtfully, stepping aside so you could enter first.

“Well… the last few missions went smoothly because of you, didn’t they?”

The warmth from the bar wrapped around you immediately. Unlike the gothic atmosphere outside, the inside of the room felt strangely comforting. Amber lights reflected against rows of glass bottles lined neatly behind the counter. Velvet stools sat empty tonight, and soft jazz crackled faintly from an old speaker in the corner. It felt less like a haunted dormitory bar and more like a hidden sanctuary. Rui walked behind the counter with practiced ease.

“So,” he continued casually, rolling his sleeves slightly, “consider this my gratitude.”

“You don’t have to thank me for doing my job.”

“Too late,” he replied. “I already decided.”

You sat at the counter while Rui began gathering ingredients with surprising professionalism and maybe that should not have surprised you. Rui was sociable by nature, he adapted to people effortlessly, slipping into conversations and roles with ease, but watching him work here inside his own space felt different somehow and it’s comforting. He moved gracefully behind the counter, spinning a shaker once in his hand before catching it with effortless precision.

“You practiced that beforehand, didn’t you?”

“Ouch.” Rui pressed a hand against his heart. “You wound me.”

“You definitely practiced.”

“Maybe a little.”

“Aha.”

He laughed softly under his breath. You rested your chin on your palm while watching him mix the drink. Crimson liquid poured over ice with a soft clink, he added garnishes with careful attention, adjusting even the smallest detail before seeming satisfied.

“You’re really serious about this.”

“Of course I am.” Rui glanced up at you. “If I’m making something for you, it has to be perfect.”

The words were spoken casually, yet somehow they settled in your chest anyway. Rui paused briefly while stirring the drink. His eyes lingered on you for half a second longer than necessary then he smiled again before looking away.

“You know,” he said lightly, “it’s kind of nice having you around Obscuary lately.”

“Is that your way of saying you miss me when I’m not here?”

“Maybe.”

Your breath caught slightly. Rui said things like that all the time, flirtatious and playful. Everyone in Darkwick Academy knew Rui was charming, but sometimes… he said things so gently that you couldn’t tell whether he was teasing or being honest. Maybe that uncertainty was what made your heartbeat stumble every single time. A few minutes later, he finally slid the finished cocktail toward you. The drink glowed beautifully;  a deep reddish pink fading into darker crimson near the bottom of the glass. Ice cubes shimmered between floating cherries and rosemary, it looked elegant. Rui leaned forward against the counter expectantly.

“You’re staring at me like this is an exam.”

“It is.”

You laughed quietly before lifting the glass. The first sip surprised you immediately- smooth, sweet at first, then slightly bitter afterward in a way that balanced perfectly together. There was warmth to it and not overwhelming enough to spread pleasantly through your chest.

“…Wait,” you murmured. “This is actually really good.”

Rui gasped dramatically. “Actually?”

“I mean—”

“You doubted me?”

“A little.”

He shook his head with exaggerated disappointment, though his smile betrayed him instantly. Still, you noticed the subtle relief in his expression after your reaction, like your opinion genuinely mattered to him.

“So?” Rui asked. “What do you think?”

“I think you missed your calling.”

“Oh?”

“You could’ve become a bartender professionally.”

“Hm…” He rested his cheek against his gloved hand thoughtfully. “But then who would suffer through dangerous missions with you?”

“…You make it sound like I drag you into trouble.”

“You absolutely do.”

You smiled looking onto your glass. For a while, the conversation drifted naturally, about missions, about Obscuary, about Edward mysteriously appearing and disappearing like a ghost. Rui complained dramatically about cleaning up after him, again.

“You have no idea how terrifying it is,” Rui sighed. “I’ll walk into his room and somehow find socks everywhere like a kid and he’s nowhere to be found!”

“Maybe the socks fell.”

“By itself?”

“…Maybe the ghosts did it.”

“Don’t encourage them.”

You laughed softly. Rui stared at you for a moment and when you finally glanced back up, he quickly looked away with a small cough. You hid your grin behind your glass. Eventually, your eyes drifted back toward the cocktail.

“What’s the name of this drink?”

“Hm?” Rui tilted his head. His expression brightened immediately.

“I was thinking…” He tapped a finger lightly against the counter. “Maybe I’ll name it after you.” You nearly choked on your drink.

“Rui, that’s embarrassing.”

“But it suits you.”

“How does a cocktail suit me?”

He leaned closer slightly, ruby eyes gleaming mischievously.

“It’s pretty.”

You stared at him and Rui stared back innocently. Then he smiled when he realized your ears were turning red as you shook your head while trying not to smile.

“No naming drinks after me.”

“Fine, fine.” Rui lifted both hands in surrender. “I’ll think of another name eventually.”

The night passed quicker than expected after that. By the time you finally left the bar together, the dormitory halls had grown quieter and Rui insisted on escorting you back. The two of you walked side-by-side under the dim lantern lights connecting the dormitories. Cold night air brushed gently against your skin while your footsteps echoed softly along the stone path. Rui kept conversation easy the entire walk, pointing out strange constellations, complaining about how Lyca kept stealing snacks from Obscuary’s kitchen and telling you stories from previous missions. But every now and then, when you looked at him unexpectedly, you caught Rui already looking at you first. Like his attention kept drifting back without meaning to. When you finally reached your dormitory entrance, Rui stopped.

“Well,” he said softly. “Your carriage has arrived safely.”

You laughed quietly.

“Thank you for tonight.”

“Anytime.”

There was a brief quiet pause afterward, that kind of silence that made you strangely aware of each other. Rui looked beautiful under the moonlight, his pale hair glowed silver-blond-ish, his pale ruby eyes softened at the edges whenever they rested on you. Even the black gloves hiding his cursed hands somehow felt lonely tonight. You spoke before you could overthink it.

“Message me once you get back safely too, okay?”

Rui blinked, clearly surprised. “…Huh?”

“You walked me here, didn’t you?” you said. “So it’s only fair.” For once, Rui genuinely looked caught off guard then a small smile slowly appeared on his face.

“…Yeah,” he murmured. “Okay. I will.”

You waved goodnight before entering your dormitory, but even after the doors closed behind you Rui remained standing there for several seconds, his chest felt warm. Hearing you tell him to message you safely somehow affected him differently because it sounded sincere, it sounded like you truly worry about him. Despite all his smiles and teasing was weaker to genuine affection than anyone realized.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · ·

Fifteen minutes later, your phone buzzed.

You smiled unconsciously while drying your hair after your shower.

Your expression softened slightly, you sat on your bed before typing again.

This time, his reply took longer.

Meanwhile Rui had just finished showering himself. Warm steam still lingered in the bathroom as he towel-dried his blond hair lazily. Dressed now in an oversized shirt and loose black pants, he laid down at his bed.

Rui hated quiet sometimes, quiet gave him time to think. About the curse, death and how his body never truly rested no matter how exhausted his mind became. Usually he distracted himself before thoughts like that settled too deeply, but tonight felt different somehow. His phone buzzed again, he picked it up immediately.

Rui smiled faintly, then another message appeared.

Rui froze for a moment, he simply stared at the screen. Then slowly his cheeks turned pink.

“…Ah.”

A soft laugh escaped him. He covered part of his face with one hand instinctively, shoulders relaxing as warmth bloomed helplessly through his chest. You really had no idea what you were doing to him. No idea how happy he became over the smallest things involving you. A conversation, a mission together, walking beside you at night, receiving messages from you before bed; simple and ordinary things. Yet Rui treasured every single one because he loves you and maybe that love had started quietly long before he realized it himself. Somewhere between shared missions and late-night conversations, between your concern for him and the way you looked at him without fear despite his curse. You treated him gently as though Rui was still someone worth holding close despite the death resting in his hands. His eyes softened while rereading your message.

Then he typed back.

Your reply came almost immediately.

Rui stared at the screen for an embarrassingly long time afterward. Then finally he laughed softly to himself and leaned back against his pillows, his heart felt unbearably light.

“…I’m in trouble,” he murmured affectionately.

A few moments later, Rui glanced toward the notebook resting on his bedside table. The cocktail still needed a name. He grabbed a pen lazily before opening the notebook to a blank page. At first, nothing came to mind, then slowly, his gaze drifted toward your conversation again. The warmth lingering in his chest, the happiness tonight brought him, the strange comfort of walking beneath the moonlight beside you. Beneath all of it the curse he carried endlessly, the Death that never slept, a life unable to tire, a night that never truly ended for Rui. He smiled softly to himself before writing two words carefully onto the page, “Deathless Night.” He stared at the name for a long moment afterward then his smile deepened.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ I had to add the message thing as a bonus, it reminded me of my close friends to message them whenever I get home safely. There was one time I almost fell asleep and forgot to update my dear friend, after visiting a funeral that night with her. She called because she was worried I didn’t get home safely. It’s sweet and reassuring, honestly and I’m lucky to have them. There are people who still care for you so update them if they request it! ⌯⌲ Pretend the emojis aren't creepy... ⌯⌲ On that note, I’ll be adding other fandoms that I like in this account/page often, hope you don’t mind! ⌯⌲ Also, sorry if ever the message part varies on the pixels. Took me a while to adjust and I do it all in desktop. I'm trying to make it flexible with mobile view too TvT ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Unmelting Frost

Summary: You are running out of time and the Kyklos inside you is growing stronger, tearing apart your sense of self piece by piece. The only person you trust to stop you is Jin, the one person who refuses to let you go. What follows is a cruel, desperate push and pull between love and survival, you beg him to end it before you become something monstrous, and he fights you every step of the way, refusing to lose you like he’s lost everything else. But love in the end, is not always about saving. Sometimes, it is about letting go.

The sea is too at peace, reflecting the sky like glass as if the world itself has chosen not to look too closely at what stands within it, you.

The water reaches your waist, trembling with each uneven breath you take. Every step forward feels wrong like something inside you is clawing backward, resisting, screaming in a voice that no longer sounds like your own. The Kyklos growing within you, writhes against your will. It does not want to die. But you do, or maybe… you just don’t want this anymore.

Behind you—

“Don’t,”

His shaky voice cuts across the silence. Jin stands at the edge of the sea, silver hair catching the light, icy blue eyes locked onto you like you’re the only thing anchoring him to this world. His chest rises unevenly, breath visible in the cold air though it has nothing to do with the temperature.

“…What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

You don’t turn around because if you do, you might stop and you mustn't. Despite the danger, despite the blood already staining the corner of your mouth from how hard you’ve been biting down to stay conscious.

“I told you,” you say softly, your voice barely carrying over the water. “Don’t follow me.”

“Like hell I’d listen to that.”

He steps forward without hesitation, shoes sinking into the water. He doesn’t even flinch at the cold, he doesn’t care. Not when you’re standing there like this, not when you’re slipping away.

“You think I’m just gonna stand there and watch you throw yourself away?” His voice lowers but there’s something underneath it, something fragile and close to breaking. “Get back here. Now.”

You take another step, the water ripples around you and inside your chest, something twists violently and makes your hand clutches at your heart.

“Jin, stop please… get back.” you choke out.

“Then move.”

“…I can’t.”

The truth settles between you like something cold and immovable and Jin shakes his head slowly.

“…You’re asking me to kill you.”

“I’m asking you to save me.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“It is to me..!”

His hand barely trembles.

“…Do you think I can do that?” he asks, voice quieter now. “After everything?”

You step closer despite the water resisting you.

“You’re the only one I trust.”

“That’s not fair.”

“I know.”

“Then don’t ask me.”

“I wouldn’t, if I had a choice.”

“You once told me… that you’d do anything for me.”

“…Don’t twist my words.”

“I’m not.”

He looks away for a long time and he says nothing. The sea laps gently around you both, as if the world itself is waiting. Jin’s mind is too loud, he sees another face, another loss. Another person slipping through his fingers no matter how tightly he tries to hold on.

“…Why does this keep happening?” he mutters.

“Maybe I’m just not meant to have anyone.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Then what? Everyone I—” He cuts himself off, jaw tightening. “…Everyone I get close to disappears.”

The words cut deeper than anything else.

“You’re not cursed, Jin,” you say gently. “You’re just… human.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“You are, and you’re strong.”

“Strong people don’t break like this.”

“Everyone does.”

Your thumb brushes beneath his eye, he doesn’t realize when the tears start. You lean up and  press a soft kiss against his forehead. Your hands cradle his face, as if memorizing him.

“…I’m scared,” you admit.

“Me too.”

For a moment, everything is quiet again for just the two of you.

Then suddenly your breathing turns ragged. That’s when he sees it, the way your body trembles not just from fear but from restraint. The way your fingers dig into your own skin, like you’re holding something back, the Kyklos have already begun. His expression changes just for a second and cracks. Your body suddenly convulses violently with broken sound rips from your throat as the Kyklos surges upward with brutal force. Pain explodes through your skull, your vision blurs then sharpens wrong, the world suddenly smells different. Salt, flowery, blood and him. Then your breathing stops.

No, it’s not yours. Jin sees it instantly, the way your eyes lose focus, the way your entire posture changes.

“Look at me,” he says.

You try. God, you try but your body no longer listens properly.

“…Run,” you whisper.

Then everything snaps, your body moves fast before you can stop it. Jin barely has time to react before both your hands slam against his throat, forcing him backward violently into the seawater. A strangled gasp tears from him as your fingers tighten around his neck.

Not me, not me, not me—

Inside your own mind, you’re screaming. You can see yourself hurting him. You can feel his pulse beneath your hands and see the shock in his eyes but your body doesn’t stop. The Kyklos snarls through your mouth, twisting your expression into something horrifying.

Jin grabs your wrists instantly, trying to pry you off him, but your strength is monstrous now. His knees hit the water hard and yet he doesn’t strike back, even while choking and while your nails cut into his skin.

“Fight it…” he rasps painfully.

You want to answer him, but instead, your grip tightens harder as tears spill down your face uncontrollably. Inside yourself, you’re begging him.

Please. Please stop me.

Jin sees the tears, the terror in your eyes beneath the emptiness and that destroys him more than the pain and his breathing grows weaker. His gaze shifts to his greatsword partially buried in the sand nearby. The one he brought because some part of him already knew this might happen. Your body forces him to be lower, your fingers crush tighter around his throat and finally Jin understands. There’s no more time, the realization breaks something in his face. Not of fear or hesitation, it’s something worse and that’s acceptance.

“…Damn it,” he whispers hoarsely. His hand reaches backward as his fingers wrap around the hilt of the greatsword and you see it. And inside yourself, you begin sobbing, because you know what will happen next. Jin pulls the blade free still he hesitates even now, even with death tightening around his throat, because it’s you. The person who forced warmth into his frozen life, the one who stayed. The one who looked at him like he was worth loving despite everything ugly inside him. 

His hands tremble.

“…Please,” your real voice whispers faintly beneath the monster’s snarling. “Jin…”

His breath breaks, the Kyklos tighten its hold again. Your fingers crush harder around his neck. Jin’s vision darkens.

Then he moves and the blade drives forward, straight through your chest. A broken gasp tears from both of you at the same time. The greatsword pierces your heart cleanly that the force sends your body collapsing backward into him immediately.

Jin catches you with one arm instantly, the other still gripping the sword buried through your chest. One knee against the shallow sea floor, the other raised slightly beneath you. Like a knight kneeling before royalty, like a vow, like devotion. Your back rests weakly against his leg as the blade remains through your heart, Jin holding you upright even now. Even now, he refuses to let you fall. Kyklos lets out one final, distorted scream through your mouth then silence follows, your fingers slowly loosen from his throat one by one, until your hands fall weakly against his chest. Jin gasps for breath, coughing harshly, but he barely notices.

Your eyes change, the dead emptiness disappears and soft light returns to them indicating you’re back.

“…Jin…”

Your voice, your real voice. It nearly destroys him completely, his entire body trembles.

“Don’t talk,” he says immediately, tears already falling freely down his face. “Don’t—”

“It hurts… less now,” you whisper weakly.

“No.”

Blood spills from your lips, Jin’s hand immediately cups your face desperately.

“No, no, stay awake—”

You smile faintly, and that smile is the same one he fell in love with.

“You’re crying.”

A broken sound escapes him- half laugh, half sob. Your trembling hand slowly lifts and Jin grabs it immediately, pressing it against his cheek desperately. As if he can keep you here through touch alone.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

“You saved me.”

Your thumb weakly brushes beneath his eye, wiping away tears that won’t stop falling. Sea water crashes endlessly against your bodies. But Jin only sees you, only hears you.

“I was scared,” you admit softly as his face crumples.

“I know.”

“But you came for me anyway.” Another weak smile. “…You always come for me.”

Jin lowers his forehead against yours carefully, desperately like prayer.

“Stay,” he whispers.

Your expression breaks slightly at that.

“I can’t. I’m tired, Jin.”

“Then rest.”

“With you?”

“Yes.”

The answer comes too desperately, you look at him with unbearable tenderness.

“…You still have to live.”

His grip tightens around you instantly.

“Don’t say that.”

“You promised.”

“I lied.”

A soft laugh escapes you despite the blood.

“You’re awful at comforting people.”

A word of silence befalls, only waves followed after. You look out toward the endless sea behind him.

“…I think,” you whisper softly, “I’ll stay here.”

Jin freezes.

“When you feel alone… when things hurt too much…” Your eyes slowly begin dimming again. “…Talk to me.”

His breathing shatters.

“I’ll hear you.”

“No—”

“I promise… you won’t be alone.”

Your fingers weaken against his face.

“But you have to keep living.”

Jin shakes his head slowly, tears fall endlessly from his eyes now. The heir of the Kamurai family, the untouchable Ice King, broke completely in the middle of the sea.

You smile one last time.

“I’ll always stay where you can find me.”

Then your hand slips from his cheek. Your eyes lose their light and the sea takes the silence between you whole.

Time passes… or maybe it doesn’t, Jin doesn’t move. The world feels distant, like he’s underwater. Like he’s the one drowning now.

A white lily in his hand. Crushed slightly from how tightly he’s been holding it.

“…I’m so tired.”

The words slip out without meaning to. He tilts his head back, staring at the empty sky.

“I tried,” he mutters. “I really did.”

But it wasn’t enough, the weight in his chest grows heavier, pulling and dragging him down.

Maybe… it would be easier to stop fighting, to just let it take him too. To sink into that quiet, endless dark where nothing hurts anymore. His fingers loosen, the lily falls into the water and drifts.

“…Maybe I should just—”

No. Something stops him. A faint, lingering warmth, a memory, your voice. 

Be strong. 

His hand clenches.

“…Damn it.”

His breath shudders. “…You really don’t make this easy, do you?”

The ache doesn’t go away. It probably never will but he doesn’t move toward the water again and won’t follow that pull. Instead, he tightens his hold on you one last time.

“…I’ll live.”

The words feel foreign, heavy.

“…For you.”

And for now that’s enough to keep him from falling, from all the expectations of this world and the responsibilities he has to bear.

Notes:

⌯⌲ saving the best for last, and I like the hurt. I’m sorry my bias shows. ⌯⌲ Finally I’m done with this card series! Took me a while to finish as I brainstorm everyone and try to stick to their character. In the end, I go with the flow and show a bit of unseen stuff. Hope you liked it! ⌯⌲ my closest vision of sea floor is Salar De Uyuni in real life, took the reflection/mirror inspo from it disregarding the shallowness. ⌯⌲ for the closest vision of the pierce part, here: "Marriage of Convenience" manhwa cover and you'll see it. (I just thought of it after posting this) ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Rusted Chains

Summary: A moment between you and Alan turns unsettling when he notices something is deeply wrong. As your condition worsens, you confront an inevitable loss of control and entrust him with a painful responsibility. Forced to choose between holding on or letting go, Alan makes a decision that leaves him carrying the weight of both your trust and your absence. In the aftermath, he’s left alone with grief, questioning whether what he did was truly protection or simply a choice he has to live with.

⌯⌲ Pls listen to Petrified while reading for better experience!

It starts with a laughter that Alan has never heard from you before. Not the kind he’s grown used to, the soft, breathy kind, that only slips out when you forget yourself for a moment. Not the rare fleeting warmth that he secretly memorized.

This laughter is wrong, too loud for the room and too sharp for your throat. It echoes off the walls like something alive, something that doesn’t belong here.

“Stop.” Alan’s voice cuts clean through it.

You didn’t. You’re hunched forward, shoulders shaking, fingers digging into your sleeves as if trying to hold yourself together or tear yourself apart. He can’t tell which one. The sound keeps spilling out of you, almost choking on itself.

Alan closes the distance in two strides and grabs your wrist firmly.

“Enough.” The laughter snaps.

It doesn’t fade, it stops abruptly, like a string pulled too tight and suddenly cut.

Silence rushes in to replace it and your head tilts slowly toward him. Your eyes for a moment don’t recognize him. Alan feels it like a blade sliding under his ribs, then you blink.

“…Alan?”

Your voice is softer now, like something trying to return to its proper place.

But the damage is done, he’s seen it.

“You’re losing control,” he says.

You don’t argue. “I know.”

That’s what makes it worse, you’re not denying it. You’ve already accepted it because somewhere, somehow you’ve moved further ahead in this than he has.

Alan exhales slowly, forcing order into his thoughts, into the situation. “Then we contain it. You stay with me. I’ll handle it.”

That’s how it works, that’s how it always works. Find the problem. Hold it down. Fix it.

You shake your head.

“No.”

The refusal is quiet but absolute, it lands heavier than your laughter ever did.

Alan’s grip tightens slightly. “This isn’t your call to make alone.”

“I’m not making it alone.”

Your gaze lifts to meet him fully now.

“That’s why I came to you.”

There it is, the weight placed into his hands without hesitation, without doubt. Like you’ve already decided what he’s going to do. Alan feels something in his chest twist.

“You shouldn’t,” he mutters.

Your fingers tremble not just from fear, but from something deeper. He can see it now more clearly. The way your movements lag half a second behind your intent. The way your breathing stutters like it’s no longer entirely yours.

“I can’t hold it back anymore,” you continue softly. “It’s not just thoughts. It’s… instincts. Urges. They don’t feel like mine.”

Alan doesn’t like the way you say that, detached. Like you’re already separating yourself from your own body.

“We’ll find a way,” he says immediately.

You almost smile.

“You always say that.”

“And I mean it.”

“That’s why you’re the only one I can ask.”

The room feels smaller and the air is heavier. Like something unseen has already begun closing in. Alan doesn’t respond immediately because he already knows what you’re going to say next. He just doesn’t want to hear it.

“…If I lose control,” you whisper, “I won’t stop.”

Silence. “I’ll hurt people, I might hurt you.”

That’s the one that lands and Alan’s jaw clenches.

“…You won’t.”

“I might.”

No hesitation, no doubt. You trust him enough to tell him the truth, because you trust him enough to ask this of him.

“…So that’s it?” he says, voice lower now. “You’ve decided the only solution is—”

“Yes, I don’t want to become something that looks at you and doesn’t know you,” you say. “I don’t want the last thing you see to be something wearing my face.”

His chest tightens, you step closer, closing the distance he didn’t even realize he had created.

“You said before,” you add quietly, “only enhance your stigma if someone is about to die.”

A faint, sad smile.

“I think this counts.”

Alan lets out a breath that feels like it scrapes his lungs on the way out.

“…You’re asking me to kill you.”

You nod and your eyes don’t waver.

“Yes.”

There’s no fear in them, only trust. That unwavering, unbearable trust. It makes his hands feel heavier than they’ve ever been.

“…You shouldn’t trust me like that,” he says hoarsely.

“But I do. Alan… please.”

That word again. It breaks something in him, deeply. He slowly lifts his hands, like they don’t belong to him anymore. They hover near you, cupping your face one last time, close enough to feel your warmth, far enough that he can still pretend this hasn’t happened yet.

Your breath trembles and then, quietly, the first tear falls. It slips down your cheek without resistance, followed by another, and another. It’s hard to tell what they mean. Whether they’re born from the pain of letting him go, from the weight of seeing him one last time like this… or tears of joy, a relief and gratitude. Maybe even a fragile kind of happiness that, in the end, it’s him who is going to do it.

Alan’s expression falters. Carefully, like even this small motion might break something, his thumb lifts to your cheek. He wipes the tears away, slow and deliberate. Another tear follows and he catches that one too.

For a moment, neither of you speak, there’s only the quiet and the space between breaths.

Then you slightly smile, unsteady and bittersweet.

Alan’s lips part slightly like he doesn’t know how to respond like he’s forgotten how. But then, just barely something shifts. The faintest hint of a smile forms on his own, fragile and unfamiliar, weighed down by everything unsaid.

Neither of you know what comes after this, neither of you can afford to think about it.

So you stay there just for a second longer, holding onto something that’s already slipping away.”

“…I’m not good with words,” he mutters.

You give the smallest huff of breath.

“I know.”

“Then don’t expect me to say this right.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Just stay with me.”

His hands go down and settle gently at your neck.

“I will.”

Your fingers curl around his sleeve, your breath shudders.

“I’m scared.” That almost stops him.

“…Then don’t—”

“I’m not scared of dying,” you interrupt softly.

Your grip tightens.

“I’m scared of what happens if I don’t.”

That’s what makes him move and Alan tightens his hold. Your breath catches immediately, a small involuntary reaction. Your body tenses and after some time then steadies then back again- like your body can’t decide what to do. Your eyes stay on his, still you. Alan memorizes it as he forces himself to, because this is the last time. Your head tilts slightly and is still watching him.

“…Alan,” you whisper.

Your lips curve.

“…Thank you.” Your hand slips and your body slackens.

And just like that, you’re gone.

For a long time, Alan doesn’t move. Not when your weight settles against him, not when the room falls into that same suffocating quiet. Not when the world continues as if nothing has changed. He just kneels there, holding you. Like if he waits long enough, you might breathe again. Like if he refuses to let go, this moment won’t be final. But alas, it is.

“…Second time,” he murmurs.

“Second time I couldn’t protect someone important to me.”

His gaze drifts downward, to your hand. Something white rests between your fingers. It’s a lily.

He stares at it for a long moment before reaching out and taking it. The petals are soft and fragile, still holding their shape despite everything. 

His fingers tighten.

“…What is there to believe in…”

The stem bends.

“…when you’re not here anymore?”

The flower collapses in his hand as petals tear. Softness turning into nothing, just like everything else.

The darkness feels more honest, more fitting. Every corner feels wrong without you in it. He sits on the edge not moving as his hands rest loosely in his lap.

The thought loops endlessly. There’s no exhaustion, no rest and just awareness, too much of it.

The darkness presses in, but he doesn’t fight it as he deserves it.

I can't breathe…

His chest tightens. Each breath feels shallow and forced.

My lungs turn to stone.

Alan lowers his head into his hands. There’s no composure left to maintain, no one to protect. no one to reassure, no one trusts him. And the memory of your voice that’s soft, steady, and certain—

“You’re the only one I trust.”

It echoes over and over until it becomes unbearable.

And in the dark alone, Alan finally understands something he’s been avoiding all along. This wasn’t strength, this wasn’t protection. For this was a choice and it’s one he will have to live with far longer than he ever wanted to.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ It has been a while since I posted, I was so busy with my work and just had the time to finish this, I'm sorry. I'm almost done with the angst series. I hope you enjoyed them so far! ⌯⌲ I'm grateful that you're still reading this, and also reading my silly notes~. Angst series almost done so I'll be working on Fluffs soon!

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Drowned Laughter

Summary: Haru notices the change before anyone else does. It begins quietly. The laughter that once filled the space between you fades, replaced by something heavier, something distant. Still, he tells himself he can fix it, as he always does… but some things cannot be undone. As the line between you and something else begins to blur, a promise is made, one neither of you truly wants, but both understand. And when time finally runs out, Haru is forced to choose between saving everyone… or holding on to the one person who made it worth living in. In the end, he keeps his promise and loses everything.

· · · · ──────────── ·✶· ──────────── · · · · NOTES: ⌯⌲ A Distant Breath by Said The Sky pls listen while reading for the best experience!

The first thing Haru notices is how quiet you’ve become. This quiet is heavier, it lingers in the spaces between his words, swallows the punchline before it can even reach you. It curls into your shoulders and drags your gaze somewhere far away, somewhere he can’t follow.

“Haha! So then Ren just stared at me like I’d committed a crime,” Haru finishes, flashing his usual grin, leaning back like he expects your laugh to fill the room.

You’re staring at your hands, like there’s something wrong with them.

He notices it now, the faint tremor and the way your fingers twitch like they don’t belong to you anymore. Like something else is learning how to move inside your skin.

It starts with the cold. You don’t say it out loud at first, but he notices the way you rub your arms, even in warmth. The way your breath sometimes comes out uneven, like your body forgets how to regulate itself. Then the shadows change, they don’t quite follow you anymore. Sometimes they stretch too far and lag behind and sometimes it… shifts.

Haru’s smile falters.

“…Hey.”

You don’t answer immediately. That too, is new. When you finally look up, your eyes are still yours but there’s something beneath them, something fractured and tired.

“Don’t tell the others yet,” you had said.

He remembers it clearly. The way you stood in the dim light, clutching your arm like it hurt. The way you tried to smile through it, like it was just another inconvenience, like it wasn’t the beginning of the end.

“If something happens…” you start, your voice quieter than usual, “you can’t hesitate.”

His smile fades.

“…I won’t let it get that far.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do.”

“No, you—”

“I said I do.”

The words come out sharper than he intends, the silence that follows is heavy.

Sleepless nights blur into endless days. Files pile up and his energy drinks stack in the corner, empty cans rattling whenever he moves too fast. He catches and investigates every anomaly, every trace, and every possibility.

There has to be a way. There has to be.

He refuses to believe that this is something he can’t solve. But the signs worsen, you start forgetting things. Small things at first, then bigger ones and then… him.

Just for a second enough to make his chest tighten in a way he doesn’t know how to joke away.

“Haru.”

Your voice is steadier today, that scares him more than anything. You’re sitting across from him, hands folded neatly in your lap. It’s too still and he doesn’t like it.

“Let’s now make a deal.”

He laughs, leaning back in his chair.

“Ooh, serious. Should I be worried?”

“Yes.”

The word lands without hesitation and his smile falters again.

“…Okay,” he says more quietly. “What kind of deal?”

“If I lose control soon… you’ll stop it here.”

Your hand presses weakly against your chest. Right over your heart and his gaze drops to it.

And something inside him snaps. He stares at you. Waiting for the punchline, but it doesn’t come.

“…Not funny,” he mutters.

“I’m serious.”

“Yeah, well—I’m not agreeing to that.”

“Haru please, we already talked about this before...”

The word breaks something in him.

“I’ll find a way,” he insists, leaning forward now, his voice sharper. “That’s what I do, right? I will find a solution and fix things.”

Your expression had softened, something closer to sadness.

“…You can’t fix everything.”

“Just watch me.”

The day comes faster than he’s ready for. The sky is dark or maybe that’s just how it feels. You’re standing in front of him, breathing unevenly, your body trembling from something fighting to take over.

Your eyes, they’re not fully yours anymore.

“Haru…!”

You choke on his name and he freezes for a split second, just long enough to see it. The shift, the Kyklos inside you clawing its way out.

“You said…” you gasp, your voice breaking apart, distorting at the edges. “You said- you’d stop me…”

His hands shake and he hates that. He never shakes.

“…Don’t,” he whispers.

“I can’t hold it!”

You stagger forward then back, like your body doesn’t know which direction to choose, like it’s already splitting.

“Haru please!”

It’s late… too late. Everything feels unreal. You’re standing by the window, moonlight spilling across your figure.

For a second, you look normal.

“…Hey,” he says softly.

You turn and for a moment, relief floods him. He can still see it's you. It’s you.

All of a sudden, you stagger. Your hand grips your chest, nails digging into fabric like you’re trying to hold something in.

“Ha—”

Your voice fractures, something underneath it growls. His body moves before his mind catches up. He’s at your side instantly, grabbing your shoulders to steady you.

“Hey, hey—it’s okay, I’ve got you—”

“No—!”

You shove him back harder than you ever have. He stumbles, eyes widening.

“Don’t come any closer—!”

Your body trembles violently now, breathing is erratic, and your shadow is no longer yours. It writhes, expands and begins to separate.

“…It’s starting,” you choke out, your voice layered now, yours and something else.

“Haru… listen…”

He’s already reaching into his coat and already pulling the knife free. He doesn’t remember deciding to bring it but maybe some part of him knew.

“…No,” he mutters under his breath. “No, no, no I can still—there’s still time—”

“There isn’t.”

You look at him and despite everything, you’re smiling. Tears cling to your lashes, but your expression is calm.

“…You promised.”

“I didn’t—!”

“You did.”

Your voice softens. “…In your own way.”

The thing inside you surges. Your body jerks violently. A distorted sound tears from your throat, half scream and half something inhuman.

The air around you shifts. If it breaks free, if it fully manifests… it won’t just be you. It’ll be everything.

“Haru—!” you gasp, your voice slipping away. “Now—!”

He freezes for a second.

He sees it all.

Every laugh, every shared moment. Every time you stood beside him, matching his pace, understanding him in ways no one else ever did. The one person who didn’t get left behind, the one person who stayed and the one person he—

“…I can’t,” he whispers.

“You can.”

Your hand lifts weakly and shakes. It presses against the blade in his grip, guiding it.

“…Please.”

Your forehead rests against his.

“…Before it takes me away from you.”

His vision blurs. He hates that he’s hesitating, hates that he’s failing.

“I’m supposed to protect you,” he chokes out.

“You are.”

Your smile is softer now, fading.

“…This is how.”

“…Stay with me,” he whispers.

“I will.”

A kind lie you blurted out. The blade drives forward, straight and precise. Right where your hand guided it through your heart, your body stiffened as broken breath escaped your lips. The tension releases, the writhing shadow stills and the distortion fades. The thing inside you stops, Haru’s grip tightens around the knife, he doesn’t pull it out. He can’t.

You slump against him, your weight is too familiar.

“…Haru…” you murmur faintly.

“I’m here,” he says immediately, his voice trembling despite everything. “I’m right here—just—just stay with me, okay? Just—”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

He swallows hard.

Your fingers weakly clutch his sleeve.

“…Thank you.”

He shakes his head frantically and you’re already fading. Your gaze softens and your breathing slows.

“…You always… fix things…”

“…Not this time,” he whispers.

You smile and it’s the most beautiful, heartbreaking thing he’s ever seen.

“…You did.”

Your hand slips, your body goes still. And just like that, you’re gone.

The knife falls from his grasp with a dull sound. Haru doesn’t react and just stares at you waiting for something, but there’s nothing. No breath, no movement at all.

“…That wasn’t fixing,” he mutters hollowly.

His voice doesn’t sound like his own.

“…That was… ending.”

The world feels quieter now, like something important has been erased. In his hand, a white lily rests out of nowhere, delicate, glowing and untainted.

“…Resurrection,” he murmurs, staring at it.

“…Hope.”

His grip tightens.

“…Life.”

The words feel meaningless and empty.

“…Yeah. Right.”

His fingers loosen, the white lily slips from his grasp, falling. Vanishing into the darkness below, just like you did. Haru lets out a soft laugh and it echoes lightly, but there’s no one left to hear it.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ I was debating whether to post this or not for a few reasons, but thanks to my twin who convinced me to post this till the end, so here we are!

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Sunken Sandcastle

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Song inspo: Red Flag by Said the Sky (pls listen while you read!) Summary: Taiga has seen countless futures where you die and none where you survive. Still, he tried to change it again and again, through timelines that collapsed like sandcastles. Now the curse inside you is finally winning. Tonight feels different, the loop might not return. All that remains between you is one last conversation, a trembling gun, and a white lily left behind like a promise that hope once existed.

The room was too quiet, it felt like the moment before a storm breaks. The air hung heavy and unmoving, pressing down on your lungs each time you breathed.

You sat on the edge of the small bed in the dimly lit room, hands folded loosely in your lap, waiting.

Your fingers trembled slightly, though you weren’t sure if it was fear anymore.

Perhaps it was simply the Kyklos. The thing inside you pulsed faintly beneath your skin, like a second heartbeat that didn’t belong to you. Every now and then, a sharp wave of heat crawled through your veins, followed by a dizzying cold.

You lowered your gaze to the floor.

A memory flickered across your mind. On a train, cold floors. The rumble of wheels against endless tracks. And the smell of blood.

You squeezed your eyes shut, that memory was one of many Taiga had finally confessed to you. The loops, the deaths.

How many times he had watched you die. How many times he had tried to save you.

You hadn’t known whether to laugh or cry when he told you.

Mostly… you just felt tired.

Your gaze drifted to the door. You wondered what he was doing out there.

Was he hesitating? Pacing? Arguing with Romeo?

Or maybe he was sitting somewhere alone with that empty look in his eyes.

The one he thought you never noticed.

Your lips curved faintly.

You could still hear his voice from earlier.

“Every time you die, the world resets.”

He looked so angry when he said it.

Not at you, but at himself. You had never seen Taiga like that before.

The reckless guy he is who pointed loaded guns at his own subordinates… the ghoul who laughed while gambling with people’s lives… the man who always looked bored of everything.

That Taiga had looked like he was about to break. And for the first time, you understood why.

Your body shuddered suddenly as the Kyklos pulsed again, this time harder.

Your nails dug slightly into your palms.

“Not yet,” you whispered under your breath.

Your reflection in the cracked mirror across the room stared back at you.

Your pupils looked darker now. Your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes. You exhaled slowly.

“…Hurry up, Taiga.”

You hear footsteps coming and you lift your head.

The footsteps stopped just outside the door.

Silence stretched between you and the hallway and the door creaked open.

He looked terrible.

Taiga leaned against the doorway like someone who hadn’t slept in weeks. His crimson hair was messy, shadows pooled beneath his eyes, and the usual lazy smirk on his lips was nowhere to be found.

He stepped inside as the door closed behind him.

Neither of you spoke for a moment.

You tilted your head slightly.

“…You look like hell.”

Taiga snorted faintly.

“Funny. I was gonna say the same thing.”

His voice sounded hoarse. Tired and older than it should have been.

He didn’t come closer right away. Instead, he stood a few feet away, staring at you like you were something fragile that might disappear if he blinked.

You swung your legs slightly off the bed.

“…Kitty cat.”

You hummed softly.

Taiga slowly walked forward. Each step looked heavier than the last.

When he stopped in front of you, you could see the faint tremor in his hand.

Your gaze dropped. The gun was there.

You looked back up at him and you softly smiled.

“Good,” you murmured.

“You brought it.”

His expression darkened immediately.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re happy about it.”

You shrugged slightly.

“I’m relieved.”

Taiga ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“You’re unbelievable.”

Another memory, another loop. Another version of this moment.

You wondered how many times he had stood exactly where he was now.

How many times he had tried to change the outcome.

Your chest tightened slightly.

“…Taiga.”

He didn’t answer.

He was staring at the floor.

Your voice softened.

“You know this is the only way.”

His grip on the gun tightened.

“I could still try something else.”

“No.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

The Kyklos stirred again, this time it made your vision blur for a moment.

“Taiga.”

He finally looked at you again. His eyes were sharp, desperately searching.

You smiled gently.

“You told me about the loops, remember?”

He said nothing.

“You’ve already tried everything.”

Your voice dropped to a whisper.

“You said it yourself.”

Your gaze met his.

“We’re out of time.”

For a moment, Taiga looked furious.

Like he wanted to argue, he wanted to throw the gun across the room and refuse.

But slowly…the anger drained away.

Leaving only exhaustion.

“…You trust me that much?” he asked quietly.

Your answer came without hesitation.

“Yes.”

His eyes widened slightly.

Another wave of pain rippled through your body, stronger this time. Your breath hitched and Taiga noticed immediately.

“…How long?”

You glanced down at your hands. The veins along your wrist looked darker now.

“Not long.”

His expression hardened.

Your legs wobbled slightly, but you managed to walk the few steps toward him.

Now you were close enough to see every detail in his face.

The dark circles beneath his eyes, the quiet panic he was trying to hide.

Your hand lifted gently to his cheek. Taiga froze.

“You tried really hard,” you whispered.

His jaw clenched.

“Not hard enough.”

“Hundreds of timelines isn’t enough?”

His eyes flickered again.

“…Don’t.”

“You stayed every time.”

Your thumb brushed lightly beneath his eye.

“You watched me die over and over.”

His voice cracked.

“Stop.”

“You never gave up.”

Taiga grabbed your wrist suddenly, just enough to stop you.

His voice came out strained.

“Don’t thank me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m about to—”

His words broke, the room went silent again.

You gently pulled your hand free and stepped back, giving him space.

“Go on,” you said softly.

The Kyklos pulsed violently beneath your skin.

Your heartbeat felt wrong now and you smiled faintly.

“Before I change my mind.”

Taiga lifted the gun slowly, as his hand trembled and the barrel pointed toward you.

You didn’t move, you just looked at him.

Calm and trusting, the way you always had.

“…Kitty cat,” he whispered.

His eyes glistened faintly.

“…I’m sorry.”

You shook your head.

“No, you’re saving me.”

The gunshot echoed through the quiet room, your body collapsed backward and Taiga caught you instantly. Blood soaked into his chest as he lowered to his knees with you in his arms.

Your breathing came out shallow, but your lips curved into a small smile.

Your voice was barely audible and you closed your eyes slowly.

“Thank you… Taiga.”

…

Your body went still and the room fell silent. Taiga held you there for a long time. Waiting for the world to rewind. For time to snap back to the beginning, like it always did.

Seconds passed, then minutes. Nothing changed. The room remained quiet, the world kept moving forward. For the world to snap back, for the room to blur, for the familiar pull of time dragging him backward to the beginning.

Back to the train, to the mission, to the moment before everything went wrong. Back to you alive.

But nothing came, the room stayed exactly the same.

The dim light flickered softly overhead. The cracked mirror reflected the same scene: a man on the floor holding someone who would never wake again.

Taiga’s fingers tightened slightly around your sleeve.

“…C’mon,” he muttered under his breath.

His voice sounded hollow.

“This is the part where it resets.”

Nothing happened, the future remained silent. And that silence terrified him more than any loop ever had.

His gaze slowly drifted to the small table near the window. Something white rested there.

A flower.

Taiga stared at it for a long time before he remembered.

You had picked it earlier.

A white lily.

"White lilies mean resurrection… hope… life."

Taiga had scoffed.

“Sounds like a scam flower.”

Now the flower sat untouched on the table- bright, pure, alive.

Taiga slowly shifted your body, laying you carefully on the bed. His movements were strangely gentle for someone known to shove loaded guns into people’s faces without hesitation.

Your hair spread softly across the pillow, your expression was peaceful. Taiga stared at you for a long moment before finally standing. His legs felt heavier than they should have, like gravity had suddenly doubled.

Step by step, he walked toward the table.

He picked the white lily up. The petals were soft between his fingers, fragile and hopeful. The kind of flower meant for beginnings, not endings.

Taiga stared at it for a long time.

Then he laughed.

“…Resurrection, huh?”

His eyes drifted back to you.

You weren’t moving, weren’t breathing. The world hadn’t reset, the future hadn’t rewritten itself. For the first time in countless timelines, he had truly lost.

His hand trembled slightly.

“…You were supposed to come back.”

The lily slipped between his fingers as it fell slowly.

White petals spinning as it dropped, it landed beside the bed near your hand.

A single petal brushed against your fingers. Taiga didn’t pick it back up, he just stood there looking tired and hollow. Like someone who had been walking down a dark road for far too long and finally realized there was no destination waiting at the end.

“…Guess the game’s over,” he murmured quietly.

For so long, he had believed everything was under control. Every timeline had been another attempt. Another careful move in a game only he knew was being played. He had watched the future like a gambler studying a rigged deck, memorizing every outcome, every mistake, every moment that led to your death. Each loop had been something he rebuilt, a fragile structure made of tiny adjustments. A word said differently, a mission finished earlier, a step taken a second faster.

Little by little, he stacked them together. Like building a sandcastle grain by grain. Carefully and patiently, believing that if he built it high and strong enough, the tide would finally stop reaching you.

But now, the tide has finally come in. Everything he had built through hundreds of timelines. Every plan, every calculation, every desperate attempt to change fate collapsed all at once. Like a sunken sandcastle on the shore, swallowed by the sea.

Taiga exhaled slowly, the sound hollow in the quiet room.

“…So that’s it.”

His voice barely rose above a whisper. No future awaits them now. Only the ruins of the one he had tried so desperately to protect.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Man I enjoyed making this fic, it’s connected to the Your Name is a Scar I Carry! ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Voiceless Scream

NOTE: ⌯⌲ Pls listen to this song while you read! (Privilege to be Unseen by Said the Sky)

Summary: You trusted Subaru more than anyone. So when the monster inside you began to grow, you asked him to be the one to stop you. Now, standing before you, Subaru must fulfill the one promise he never wanted to keep.

The night was too quiet. This silence was suffocating, thick with the scent of iron and lilies.

A single white lily rested in Subaru Kagami’s gloved hand. Its petals were untouched, pristine against the darkness.

White lilies meant resurrection, hope, and life.

A cruel irony.

Subaru stared down at it, eyes trembling faintly. He inhaled slowly, then exhaled.

He had performed on stages since childhood. Under bright lights. Before thousands of watching eyes.

Kabuki demanded perfection. Perfect posture, perfect voice, perfect emotions.

But this… this was the one role Subaru wished he never had to perform.

You stood across from him.

The wind tugged gently at your clothes, brushing stray strands of hair across your face. You looked exhausted, more exhausted than he had ever seen you.

Yet your smile remained soft. It was the same smile you always gave him.

The same one that made his chest ache.

Subaru forced his voice steady.

“…I’m sorry.”

The apology came out automatically, like breathing.

You chuckled quietly.

“You always apologize first.”

He winced.

Of course you noticed. You always noticed everything about him.

The wind shifted, and Subaru’s eyes flickered to your hands.

They trembled slightly.

Black veins had begun creeping faintly beneath your skin.

The late stages of turning into a Kyklos. A monster that could no longer remember who they once were.

You clenched your fist, trying to stop the shaking.

But Subaru had already seen it.

“…It’s progressing faster,” he whispered.

You looked away toward the dark horizon.

“I know.”

Silence stretched between you. Heavy and painful. Like the air before rain.

Time did not slow down, not for tragedies like this. Not for people like you.

Subaru looked at you carefully, who had seen through every mask he wore.

“You’re scared,” he said softly.

You blinked in surprise.

“…You noticed?”

His lips curved into a faint smile.

“You’re terrible at hiding things.”

You laughed. A weak sound, but real.

“And you’re terrible at showing them.”

Subaru froze because you were right.

Even now, even as his chest felt like it was collapsing.

He forced his expression to be calm and gentle, like always.

You stepped closer.

And gently reached up to touch his cheek.

His breath caught.

“You’re hurting,” you whispered.

Subaru looked away immediately.

“I’m fine.”

A lie, a terrible one.

You sighed softly.

“You really don’t have to act anymore.”

The words struck deeper than any blade.

He remembered something you told him once.

Back when the two of you sat on the rooftop watching the sunset.

You had looked at him seriously and said:

“You don’t have to hide your feelings anymore nor control yourself to not want more. You are wise, you know what’s right and wrong. Don’t constrain yourself and live without regrets while you still can.”

At the time, he laughed awkwardly.

But now, those words echoed painfully in his chest.

Your breathing suddenly faltered.

A sharp tremor ran through your body.

Subaru’s eyes widened.

“—!”

You staggered slightly before catching yourself.

Black veins spread further along your arm.

Your pupils flickered unnaturally. Your voice shook.

“…Subaru.”

He stepped forward immediately.

“I’m here.”

Your hand grabbed his sleeve, tight and desperate.

“You promised, remember?”

His heart stopped.  Of course he remembered the request you made days ago.

When they confirmed the corruption spreading inside you.

You had looked him straight in the eye and said:

“If I start losing myself… I want you to stop me.”

Subaru had refused. Over and over again.

But you insisted because you trusted him, more than anyone else.

You smiled weakly now.

“It’s almost time.”

His chest felt like it was tearing apart.

“No.”

Your voice was gentle but firm.

“Subaru.”

He shook his head desperately.

“No.”

The lily trembled in his hand.

“I’m running out of time.”

Your words were quiet but they echoed louder than thunder.

Subaru’s stigma activated unintentionally when his hand brushed your arm.

And suddenly, memories flooded his mind.

Your laughter in the cafeteria.

Your hand grabbing his sleeve when you dragged him somewhere new.

Your voice calling his name.

Your warmth beside him during quiet nights.

All the traces you left behind.

Like satellites orbiting his heart.

Subaru’s knees almost gave out.

Your smile softened. 

Tears blurred his vision.

You gently took the white lily from his hand.

Its petals glowed faintly in the moonlight.

“You brought this?”

Subaru nodded weakly.

“It symbolizes resurrection.”

You smiled sadly.

“Then maybe… someday…”

Your voice trailed off. Neither of you finished the sentence.

The veins spread further up your neck.

Your body jerked again, your eyes flickered violently. 

You gasped.

“Subaru, now.”

His hand trembled as he drew the blade from his side.

The blade reflected your face. Your gentle smile. No fear, only trust. And Subaru’s voice cracked.

“I’m sorry.”

He always apologized, even now.

You reached forward and placed your hand over his, steadying it.

“Thank you.”

His vision shattered completely.

“Don’t thank me.”

You laughed softly.

“See? You’re still trying to hide it.”

The wind grew stronger.

Petals of the lilies scattered around you.

White against the dark, like falling snow.

Subaru finally looked directly into your eyes.

And for the first time, he didn’t hide his feelings.

Pain, fear, love. All of it.

You smiled gently.

“Good.”

A tear slid down Subaru’s cheek.

The blade moved, quick and precise.

Just like the final movement of a kabuki performance.

Your body collapsed into his arms and warm blood stained the white lily petals.

Subaru caught you before you hit the ground, as his hands trembled violently.

Your breathing slowed, but your smile remained.

“Thank you…”

Your voice was barely a whisper.

“Subaru.”

Your hand slipped from his sleeve and the night fell silent.

Subaru stayed there for a long time, holding you.

The rain finally began to fall. Like the world itself was mourning.

The lily rested beside you. Its petals are soaked in crimson. Yet still white and beautiful, still alive.

Subaru pressed his forehead against yours.

Even if everything was already gone, the traces you left behind would never disappear.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ Not that relevant or anything, but I did perform a kabuki dance before on a stage, it was one of my favorite memories back in Senior High School. The overall performance requires intense skill to execute graceful, stylized movements.

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Pinky Promise

⌯⌲ Inspo Song: All My Love by Coldplay (Pls listen while you read!) Summary: Valentine’s Day with Haku turns into a tender memory as teasing smiles, sweet chocolates, and soft confessions lead to a simple yet heartfelt vow, a pinky promise sealing the love you share and the future you hope to walk together.

Valentine’s Day arrived and the Academy was painted in warm shades of pink, crimson, and all shades of red. Ribbons tied around railings, chocolates exchanged in shy laughter, confessions drifting through the corridors like wishes. Yet amid the sweetness and noise, your thoughts lingered somewhere quieter.

They lingered with him.

You had not expected him to care about Valentine’s Day. Haku, after all, treated most occasions with a smile and a teasing remark. So when you received his message: “Meet me after sunset. Don’t be late.”. Curiosity tangled with nervous excitement.

And now standing outside the quiet veranda, you waited.

Then—

“Waiting for someone?”

His voice slid into the silence like silk.

You turned, heart skipping.

Haku stood behind you, dressed in deep crimson, a tailored suit that made him look almost unreal. Gold accents glimmered on his suit, his ribbon earrings swayed gently, and his sharp, catlike eyes watched you with quiet amusement.

But there was something different tonight.

Less teasing, more… tender.

“You’re staring,” he murmured, tilting his head. “Is it that strange seeing me dressed properly?”

“I just-” You faltered, heat blooming in your cheeks. “You look… really nice.”

His lips curved, that familiar devilish charm flickering alive.

“Careful,” he teased softly. “Say things like that and I might start thinking you like me.”

You huffed, trying to look away, but he stepped closer, closing the distance before you could retreat.

“I wore it for you,” Haku said.

The playfulness faded.

Sincerity remained.

Your chest tightened.

Haku rarely spoke plainly about his feelings. He hid affection behind teasing touches, sudden scares, quiet acts of care like brushing leaves from your hair, walking you back when nights felt heavy, appearing whenever fear brushed too close.

But now his gaze held no mask.

“Come,” he said gently, offering his hand.

You took it.

He led you inside a small room lit only by candles and lanterns. The space was simple yet warm: soft cushions, scattered petals, a small table with sweets and tea. You blinked in surprise.

“You did all this…?”

“Zenji helped with the lights,” Haku admitted. “Subaru insisted on the flowers. I transported stuff and mostly supervised…”

You laughed quietly.

“That sounds like you.”

He smiled softer now, almost shy.

“I wanted today to be peaceful,” he said. “No duties, just us.”

The words wrapped around your heart like warmth.

You sat together, sharing tea and chocolates, conversation flowing easily: memories of chaotic missions, tea time afternoons, silly arguments that ended in laughter. Every moment felt like turning pages of a story you had unknowingly been writing together.

Low and sunshine. Snow and warmth.

Every season. Every corner of the sky.

Haku watched you as you spoke, gaze gentle and unwavering, as if memorizing each expression.

“You know,” he said after a pause, “I’ve seen many things others can’t. Spirits trapped in regret. Feelings left behind. Promises that never reached their end.”

His fingers brushed yours.

“That used to scare me.”

Your voice softened. “Does it still?”

He shook his head.

“No. Because of you.”

Your breath caught.

“You stayed,” Haku continued quietly. “Through days and nights, through my moods, through things I never explained properly.” His smile wavered. “Even when I pushed you away with jokes.”

You squeezed his hand.

“I stayed because I wanted to.”

Silence settled. Haku’s confession lingered in the air, gentle and trembling between you.

And suddenly, your own nervousness returned.

“Oh,” you murmured, fumbling slightly with your bag. “I… actually have something too.”

Haku blinked, curiosity flickering across his sharp eyes.

“For me?”

You nodded, cheeks warming as you pulled out a small, carefully wrapped box. Soft pink paper, tied with a ribbon that took you far too long to perfect. The corners were slightly uneven, proof of how many times you had redone it.

“I made them,” you admitted, voice shy. “Well… mostly. Subaru helped when I almost burned the kitchen.”

Haku laughed quietly, the sound warm and fond.

“I wish I had seen that.”

“Absolutely not,” you muttered, but your smile betrayed you. Then, gathering courage, you held the box out to him. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Haku.”

For once, he didn’t tease you.

He accepted the box with surprising care, as if it were fragile glass instead of chocolate. His fingers brushed yours briefly, a touch soft enough to make your heartbeat stumble.

“You made these… for me,” he repeated, almost to himself.

There was something vulnerable in his expression now. A quiet astonishment, like someone unused to receiving something made with love.

Haku slowly untied the ribbon, opening the box.

Inside lay imperfect chocolates, some heart-shaped, some slightly crooked, one with a cracked edge you had tried desperately to fix. But each one carried a warmth no store-bought gift could imitate.

He stared for a moment.

Then smiled.

Not his usual playful grin.

“They’re beautiful,” he said.

“They’re lumpy,” you corrected.

“That too.” His eyes softened as he picked one up. “But they’re yours.”

He took a bite, and you watched anxiously, hands clasped together.

“Well?” you asked.

Haku hummed thoughtfully, clearly dragging out the suspense just to make you squirm. Then he leaned closer, voice dropping into a teasing whisper.

“Sweet,” he murmured. “A little messy. And somehow addictive.” His gaze met yours, “Just like you.”

Your face burned.

“That’s not a proper review!”

“It’s the only one that matters.”

Before you could protest, Haku gently took another chocolate and held it toward you.

“Share with me,” he said.

The gesture felt intimate in a way that made your chest ache. You leaned forward, taking a small bite from his fingers, laughter and warmth mingling in the quiet room.

Chocolate sweetness melted on your tongue.

But the warmth in your chest was sweeter.

Haku closed the box carefully, holding it close to his heart for a brief moment before setting it aside.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I’ll treasure these. Even the cracked ones.”

“They’re not that bad-”

“They’re perfect,” he interrupted gently. “Because you made them.”

The sincerity in his voice lingered and it was that warmth, that quiet gratitude, that led into his confession… and something followed. “I don’t have a grand confession,” he murmured. “I’m not good at dramatic speeches.” His eyes met yours, earnest and bright. “But I do know this.”

He lifted his hand, extending his pinky.

“I want to keep walking beside you. Whether days are bright or heavy. Whether you laugh or cry. Whether the world feels warm… or unbearably cold.”

Your vision blurred.

“Haku…”

He smiled gently.

“You have all my love. It doesn’t change with weather or time. It doesn’t fade when things hurt. It just… stays.” His voice softened to a whisper. “So stay with me too. For now, for always. However long forever allows.”

Your hands trembled as you hooked your pinky with his.

“I promise,” you whispered.

The moment felt small - childish, even.

Yet sacred. A vow stitched in quiet devotion.

Haku’s expression softened with relief, as if a weight he had carried alone finally eased.

“Good,” he murmured. “Because I don’t plan on letting you go.”

You laughed through tears.

“That sounds like a threat.”

“It is,” he teased, leaning closer. “A very affectionate one.”

He brushed his forehead against yours, warmth spreading through the space between breaths.

“If you cry,” he whispered, “I’ll be there. If you fall, I’ll catch you. If you’re scared, I’ll hold your hand until the fear disappears.”

His thumb traced the promise sealed between your pinkies.

“And if someday I can’t see you,” he added softly, “I’ll still feel you. Like a lingering warmth. Like a spirit that never leaves.”

Your heart swelled, overflowing with a love that felt both gentle and unbreakable.

You leaned into him, and Haku wrapped his arms around you, embracing warmth. No teasing now, no playful scares.

Just steady devotion, enduring love and gratitude for every moment shared.

Your pinkies remained intertwined, a fragile thread tying your hearts together across every season yet to come.

An unwavering promise, forever.

NOTES:

⌯⌲ As I was doing this, it reminded me also of Haku wedding card, should’ve used that idea..

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Pale Heart

⌯⌲ Inspo song: Drowning by Said the Sky (Pls listen while you read!)

Summary: Edward is forced to face an impossible choice when the person he cares for most asks him for a final act of mercy. As a creeping transformation threatens to erase her humanity, the two spend one last night confronting love, fear, and the meaning of identity. Torn between selfish hope and painful acceptance, he must decide whether eternity is worth more than her final wish and live with the silence that follows.

Obscuary’s night had always felt endless, but tonight it pressed in closer than usual, heavy and suffocating. The curtains hung motionless. Even the air seemed to hold its breath.

Edward watched you from across the room, his crimson gaze fixed and unblinking. He had appeared beside you so many times without warning, a teasing smile, a lazy greeting, a playful remark that made you roll your eyes. He had always liked surprising you. Tonight, he had come quietly. No jokes. No sudden grin.

Just silence.

You sat on the edge of his bed, hands folded in your lap to keep them from trembling. The familiar softness of the mattress beneath you felt distant, like a memory already fading. You had spent countless afternoons here listening to Edward ramble about centuries-old cities, about the sea that bordered his childhood home, about places that no longer existed the way he remembered them. He would lie back with one arm behind his head, voice drifting lazily as if time itself were a trivial thing.

But time is not trivial now.

Time is running out.

The monster inside you stirred again, a slow grinding presence that scraped against your thoughts. You inhaled sharply. Edward noticed immediately. 

His expression tightened. He crossed the room in a single smooth step and knelt in front of you, bringing himself to your eye level. His gloved hand hovered near yours, hesitant, as if afraid you might shatter at his touch.

“It’s getting worse,” he said quietly.

It wasn’t a question.

You nodded. Speaking felt difficult, like forcing words through water. Each day the thing inside you grew louder, more insistent. It whispered of release, of becoming something vast and terrible. And with every whisper, your sense of self thinned.

Edward’s jaw clenched. For a moment, his composure cracked, and you glimpsed the storm beneath, fear, anger, and a grief he had not yet allowed himself to name.

“There is still a way,” he said, voice low and urgent. “You can stay. Become a vampire. Live with me. I can protect you.”

He said it like a vow. Like a plea.

You looked at him, at the centuries etched invisibly into his tired eyes. He had seen empires rise and fall. He had wandered the world searching for something he never quite found. And somewhere along the way, he had found you.

A warmth spread through your chest at the thought, bittersweet and aching.

“I don’t want to lose my humanity,” you whispered. “If I change… I won’t be me anymore.”

Edward’s gaze softened, and he reached up at last, cupping your cheek with a tenderness that made your breath hitch. His thumb brushed beneath your eye, tracing a path he must have memorized a hundred times.

“You would still be you,” he insisted, though the uncertainty in his voice betrayed him. “You would just… continue.”

“Continue as something else.”

The words hung between you. Edward’s hand trembled. He closed his eyes briefly, as if steadying himself against an unseen tide.

He had lost people before. He carried their ghosts quietly, tucked into the corners of his long memory. You reminded him of one in particular, a woman from centuries past whose laughter still echoed faintly in his mind. He had never told you her name. Some memories were too fragile to speak aloud.

He had sworn he would not watch another person he cared for slip away.

And yet here you were, asking him to do exactly that.

The monster surged again, sharper this time. A wave of disorientation washed over you. The room tilted. Edward caught you before you could fall, his arms wrapping around you with instinctive care. You clung to him, fingers curling into the fabric of his uniform.

“I’m scared,” you admitted, voice barely audible.

Edward held you tighter. “I know.”

For a moment, you allowed yourself to imagine accepting his offer, an endless night by his side, wandering through centuries together. You pictured quiet mornings in his room, teasing conversations, the lazy comfort of simply existing with him.

The image was beautiful.

And wrong.

You pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “Please,” you said softly. “Before I’m gone.”

The meaning was clear. Edward’s breath caught. He searched your face desperately, as if hoping to find hesitation, some hidden desire to be persuaded. But your expression was steady, resolute despite the fear shimmering beneath it.

You had already made your choice.

Edward felt something inside him fracture. He stood frozen on the edge of the inevitable, knowing that whatever he did next would haunt him for the rest of his endless life. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be brave. He wanted to save you.

But the only way to save you now was to let you go.

He drew you into one final embrace. It was slow and deliberate, his arms encircling you as if to shield you from the world. You rested your head against his chest, listening to the quiet stillness there. In that silence, you found peace.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, the words breaking against your hair.

“Don’t be,” you murmured. “You’re giving me what I asked for.”

The monster rose in a final, desperate swell. Edward felt it coil beneath your skin, felt the moment slipping through his fingers. He held you steady. His touch was gentle and reverent, an act of love disguised as an ending.

When it was over, the room fell utterly still.

Edward remained motionless, cradling you as the tension left your body. Your features softened, the struggle erased. You looked up at him through fading vision and offered a small, radiant smile.

“Thank.. you,” you breathed.

The words pierced him deeper than any blade ever could. He tried to answer, but his voice failed. All he could do was watch as your eyes closed, your expression serene.

For a long time, he did not move.

The night stretched on, indifferent and eternal. Edward sat there with you in his arms, memories rising unbidden, your laughter echoing through the corridors of Obscuary, your mock scolding when he skipped his duties, the warmth of your presence beside him on quiet evenings. Each memory was a fragile light flickering against the vast darkness of his grief.

He felt suspended in a strange stillness. He knew this was the end. He understood it with perfect clarity. And yet his heart refused to accept it. It lingered in the space between moments, clinging to the echo of your voice.

Eventually, he pressed a trembling kiss to your forehead. It was a silent promise, a farewell he could not put into words. He closed his eyes and allowed the weight of centuries to settle over him once more.

Edward had always believed himself tired of the world. Detached and unmoved.

Now he understood how wrong he had been.

He stayed there with you for a while longer, wrapped in the quiet spiral of sorrow and love, letting the night bear witness to the fragile, beautiful life you had entrusted to him. And though eternity stretched endlessly before him, he knew that this moment, this pale aching heart you left behind would remain with him forever.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ A part 2 might come :3c ⌯⌲ Ao3 vers.

[azuremeia]

Extinguished Flame

⌯⌲ Inspo song: Spiral by Said the Sky (pls listen while reading!)

Summary: Yuri is forced to confront the one outcome he has always feared: losing a patient. When an irreversible anomaly threatens to consume the person who trusts him most, he must make an impossible choice between his principles and his heart. The cost of love when hope runs out leaving behind grief, guilt, and a vow that refuses to die.

The room smelled faintly of antiseptic and cold metal, with a mix of floral scents, Mortkranken’s usual comfort. Tonight, it felt like a coffin.

Yuri Isami stood beneath the stark overhead light, shoulders tense, surgical gloves trembling no matter how tightly he curled his fingers. He told himself again and again that this was simply another procedure. A conclusion reached through logic, data, and time he no longer had.

Yet his eyes refused to see you as a case.

You were seated on the examination bed, restraints unused, untouched. He had not needed them. You had never once fought him, not when the symptoms began, not when your voice sometimes warped with something else, not even now, when the anomaly inside you pressed against your sanity like a living thing.

You trusted him. That trust hurt more than any accusation ever had.

“…You’re late,” you said softly, attempting a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “The genius doctor shouldn’t keep his patient waiting.”

“Hmph. Watch your tone,” Yuri snapped out of reflex then faltered. His voice cracked immediately after. “…I was verifying the results. Again.”

He had verified them a hundred times.

The Kyklos anomaly was irreversible at this stage. Neural overwrite. Loss of self. When the transformation completed, you would be gone, replaced by something that hunted, devoured, and remembered nothing of mercy.

He had cured a lot of patients. Risked his life, his reputation, his morality. He aims to be the pioneer of anomalous medical science. The world would remember his name.

So why,

Why was this the first patient he couldn’t save?

Yuri clenched his teeth, teal eyes shining too brightly as he looked away. “If… if you had reported the symptoms earlier—”

“I did,” you interrupted gently. “You just didn’t want to believe it was me.”

Silence swallowed the room.

You were right. He had dismissed the early signs as stress, contamination, faulty readings, anything but the truth. Because acknowledging it meant acknowledging the possibility of losing you.

The one person who had never looked at him with fear, envy, or ridicule.

The one who praised him as a doctor.

“…The progression has accelerated,” Yuri said at last, voice low and rigid. “Your vitals are unstable. The anomaly is… adapting.”

You nodded slowly. You already knew.

“That’s why I asked you to do it,” you said. “Before I stop being me.”

He turned sharply. “Don’t speak so casually about your own death! Do you have any idea-” His voice rose, then broke completely. He covered his mouth with a gloved hand, breath hitching as something hot stung his eyes.

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered, barely audible. “I refuse. I am Dr. Yuri Isami. I do not fail my patients.”

You stood, closing the distance between you. Carefully, you reached for his sleeve, hesitant, as if afraid he might recoil.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he froze, like a man on the edge of collapse.

“Yuri,” you said, softly. “Listen to me.”

You placed something into his trembling hand.

A white lily.

Its petals were pristine, he stared at it, confused, breath catching.

“…A lily?” he scoffed weakly. “Now? You’re mocking me?”

“No,” you smiled. “It means hope. Life. Resurrection.”

His grip tightened.

“If anyone can prove that death isn’t the end… it’s you.”

Tears spilled freely now, streaking down his pale cheeks. He hated this, hated being seen like this, hated that you could undo him so easily.

“…You’re cruel,” he choked. “Leaving me with expectations even now.”

You reached up, brushing your thumb against his cheek, unafraid of the anomaly stirring beneath your skin. “Then live up to them. Not as a genius. As the doctor I believe in.”

The alarms began to ring.

Time was gone.

Yuri straightened slowly, shoulders squared through sheer force of will. The arrogance he usually wore like armor was gone, stripped bare, leaving only a terrified young man making an impossible choice.

“…I will make it painless,” he said hoarsely. “I swear it. You will not suffer.”

You nodded. “I know.”

As he prepared the injection, his hands steadied from resolve. He knelt in front of you without realizing it, pressing his forehead briefly against your hand like a silent apology.

“For what it’s worth,” he whispered, “you were… my greatest proof that I was more than what Frostheim said I was.”

Your smile was gentle and grateful.

“Thank you,” you said. “For being my doctor.”

The procedure ended quietly.

When it was over, Yuri remained where he was, frozen, and a white lily clenched in his hand as if it might bring you back if he squeezed hard enough.

He had saved the Academy from a monster.

And lost the one person who had saved him.

“…I will find a way,” he murmured into the empty room, voice trembling with grief and promise. “If resurrection exists… then I will see to it.”

The doctor lowered his head.

He wept not as a physician, but as someone who cherished too late.

NOTES: ⌯⌲ The song explores themes of isolation, inner turmoil, and the struggle with vulnerability. A "spiral" often represents a downward emotional trend where negative thoughts feed into themselves, creating a cycle that is difficult to break.

⌯⌲ Ao3 vers. ⌯⌲ I think Easter Lily (Lilium Longiflorum) is the one they're holding on each house. It symbolizes: resurrection, hope, and life; closely tied to the Easter holiday. There's many more lily variants with different meanings but I think this is the closest one.