i don't care about being good.

[benvanderbilt]

bishopkirbcy‌:

There was not edge to Bishop’s voice when he glanced to his brother in law in question, “Do you ever not do that? The professor and holier-than-thou routine?” Ben wouldn’t be wrong if he voiced his opinions that Bishop wanted little and less to do with him. But here he was, for whatever reason. Maybe he felt bad, who knew. Not even Bishop really knew at this moment, there seemed to be no ulterior motives. “Entertaining, yes, but then everyone would have a picture proof of your dick size, the shape and everything and some things are better left up to the public’s imagination.”

"It’s how I talk,” He said with a shrug. “If you don’t like it, no one’s stopping you from walking away.” He was done trying to impress King’s family. That shit was so far out the door. He had better things to worry about. “Do you always have this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude?” He asked back, “I wouldn’t mind proving I have a big dick, though. I know I’m small but I know how to carry around a package.”

[kyloren]

[benvanderbilt]

nathaliexkirbey‌:

With a halfhearted smile at the barista in front of her, Nathalie handed over her money with one hand while the other clenched her phone a bit too tightly. Hanging up from a phone call with her mother where she endured the same questions about her wedding that she’d been answering for months already, all she could look forward to was getting a bit of caffeine in her system so she could keep her eyes open for longer than ten minutes. While she was waiting for her coffee to be handed over to her, she felt like someone was standing close behind her and when she turned her head to ask them to take a step back, recognized them. “Could you move back a bit?” Nat asked. “You’re hovering.”

Ben was a coffee guy now. He hadn’t been before Europe, but during that excursion he realized that most Europeans drink coffee religiously and smoke socially. Both habits he had picked up there. Wanting to get his fix, mixed with a lack of understanding personal space, he was fidgeting behind someone as he waited for his coffee. “Shit, sorry,” Of course he made a bad impression on a Kirbey. He was trying so hard for King, but this was hard for him. Immediately, he smiled at her, trying to keep the mood light. “Next time you can just push me back, I wouldn’t mind,” He said with a shrug. “What kind of coffee are you waiting for?”

[westeroes]

[benvanderbilt]

bishopkirbcy‌:

News and rumors traveled fast around here. Bishop was no stranger to that. Despite how much he didn’t like the other man, he was at last attempting some level of friendliness. His sister was a stranger, but she still had the Kirbey name, so there was something to that. And he still had the Vanderbilt name. Whatever that meant, because neither Ben nor King seemed to care for the title. “She does.” Bishop’s voice was blunt, his eye ticking to look at Ben without moving his head. “I really haven’t the inclination to do the cliche winter in New York that people make Instagram famous.” Bishop’s instagram had been lacking in posts for months now. Same with his twitter. The last tweet was in reference to Blur burning down and his condolences. “I guess both that and skinny dipping would be rock bottom, truthfully.” 

He stared at the other man. A part of him was weary as to why Bishop was even continuing the conversation. He made it clear that he didn’t want anything to do with Ben. And that was enough for Ben to give up. “There’s a reason why I haven’t posted on social media in years,” He mentioned, “Trust me. Instagram fame isn’t it at all. Social media’s fake. It’s unhealthy,” He lectured even though Bishop didn’t ask for one. “But I do think it’d be very entertaining to be in trouble for skinny dipping out of everything. I’d do it if the police weren’t up my ass.”

[benvanderbilt]

monty-santos‌:

“You sound like my sister,” Monty chuckled, because even with the familiar twinge of pain that came whenever he talked about Celia, it still seemed to be true, “I guess, but I don’t really notice much.  I pretty much just walk places, so maybe I’m just as bad as the tourists sometimes,” he shrugged, “it sounds like a bar, and the fact that I’m trying not to drink and I’ve been in a continual state of broke up until recently, it’s pretty much a safe bet that I Have no idea where you’re even talking about.”

Well shit, he didn’t want to remind Monty of his deceased sister. Shit just got dark fast too. Instead, he chuckled along with Monty. That seemed way better than getting all serious about it. “I mean, you’re way better than a tourist. You’re Monty Santos. I think you’re the best person that has come outta here in a very long time.” It was true, everyone seemed to have tons of problems. But not Monty. He seemed different. “That’s alright. Do you wanna go there and drink away my sorrows?”

[starlightmachine]

[benvanderbilt]

chessieabernathy‌:

Chessie knows he’s trying to keep this casual, trying his best to push past the tension between them and have a semi-normal conversation. You could see it from a mile away. “The truth will set you free,” she comments easily, taking another puff of her cigarette. She’s unsure how to reply to him – Ben makes it sound like something mundane happened, as if he forgot King’s birthday or was late to dinner. There was no way for her to respond to his comment properly, she decided. There was no way to string together a sentence that was anything short of her telling him King was justified. “It’s not any different for how you are normally,” she finds herself tease, hoping to keep up the light and airy conversation, rather than get into the gritty details he surely wants to ask about. At the mention of O, Chessie purses her lips into a thin line for a moment, biting the inside of her cheek. “We’ve spoken,” she opens with, “It’s been… complicated. With work.” 

"That’s why I’ve never been a fan of the truth,” He joked. Was it bad or good that they could be joking together? Especially after what had happened. The big elephant in the room, or rather the air, in this case, was still there. He wanted to ask her more but knew it wasn’t his place to do so. He didn’t know her like that. “And that’s why I don’t work.” He acknowledged, “It seems too stressful.” The truth was, Ben didn’t have any skills anyways. “Do you think I’d make a good model? I know Paris pretty well.” He had no idea what being a model consisted of but he was trying to keep their conversation as light as she was. “You know if you ever need to get out of the house or whatever, you’re always welcome to give me a call. I’m usually not busy. And it’ll be a nice break for me too. O’s also pissed at me.” 

[benvanderbilt]

quinnxarchibald‌:

Quinn startled for a second as Ben changed the subject. He looked up at the brunet, eyes widening slightly. “Yeah, yeah I heard about that.” He replied. He’d wanted to reach out to his former friend, wanted to make sure that Ben was okay but he hadn’t. Not out of malice but because he had no idea what to say. He wanted to talk about it but even now it seemed that the other male didn’t want to. “Yeah, the 80s definitely seemed a lot simpler. They had their problems though. I guess there have to be trade offs.” Quinn said before adding softly “How are you doing? After everything?”

It was hard with Quinn. He wanted to tell Quinn every single problem that he was having. It felt natural to do that, and yet he knew he couldn’t. He didn’t have that part in Quinn’s life anymore thanks to his own mistakes. It was hard to not have anyone to talk to. “I’m glad we’re just not still having a big hair trend. That seemed horrible,” He said with a sigh of relief. With Quinn’s question, he immediately opened his mouth up but stopped himself from saying anything. They weren’t best friends, they were estranged best friends. He couldn’t tell her anything, could he? Not when he hadn’t even apologized yet. “I’m fine. Things are a bit tense with King but I guess that happens when you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time.” He shrugged, trying not to make a big deal of it.

[benvanderbilt]

wrenabernathy‌:

Wren Abernathy had not been raised to discuss problems in public. Actually, he had not been raised to discuss problems, period. Many families tried to keep up appearances for the outside, but in the Abernathy family it went well beyond that, to the point where it had been nearly impossible for Wren to even talk to Chessie since she’d moved in with him. Of course, he checked up on her, made sure she ate and spent his evenings sitting in front of her bedroom door. But if he was being honest with himself, he’d been avoiding talking about what had happened as much as she had been avoiding him.

So, when Ben asked about her, all he did was dip his head and then look back up with what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “She’s okay,” he said, his intonation falling flat indicating Wren’s response was anything but an invitation to discuss Chessie. “How are you?” he asked, hoping that would be enough to change the subject. He liked Ben well enough, but he hadn’t exactly sought out the most clandestine table in the entire place to still have to talk about what had happened.

Despite his mother’s efforts to always tell Ben it wasn’t polite to be nosy, it never worked. He was always looking at drama from afar and never really trying to get into it himself. The latter was inevitable with a last name like Vanderbilt as well as having a knack for vices. It wasn’t his fault, it was in his blood. At least that’s what he told himself. 

“Good, glad to hear that,” He caught on that this was something Wren wasn’t particularly open about talking about, which was fine. He just liked hearing that she was okay. “I’m fine. I couldn’t be better.” He lied, not wanting to delve into any more details. Ben was a private person, he was taught to swallow his problems and put on a happy face when he was growing up. That was one of the few things that carried over into adulthood for him. “How are you?” He asked, returning the gesture. “Did you have a better New Year’s than the rest of us?”

[benvanderbilt]

oatanas‌:

Finally, O looked up from her phone and at Ben. “Look, I appreciate that you’re trying but at this point it’s a waste of breath,” she leveled with him. She wasn’t trying to be harsh and brush him off, she was just trying to be honest. “You’ve gotta know that being in King’s dog house automatically puts you in mine too, right?” King was the only thing that really held them together, after all. A few weeks ago O had been willing to get to know Ben as a person rather than just an extension of King but right now? It was back burnered. “Not that I think you need reminding, but you really hurt her.” 

He didn’t need another lecture. He didn’t need to be reminded about how much he hurt his wife. He knew that, and it hurt him thinking about how badly he hurt King. “I know what I did.” He stated, “But I’m trying to make things right. It can’t be like this for forever.” He knew her cooperation wasn’t going to happen. However, he appreciated how there she was for King. He wished he had a friend like that. He did actually until he fucked it up. “Do you know how hard it is to get the silent treatment from the one person you love? It sucks. I thought food would be a common thing to bring us all together.” 

[benvanderbilt]

monty-santos‌:

“I guess that we’ve got some very different philosophies there because I don’t think that I do anything just to see if I actually can,” Monty chuckled, though that was really a concept that he’d never really been a fan of.  He’d always been the kind of person who never really thought to take more than he needed.  “Just because he did that doesn’t mean that the history isn’t here. And I think everyone would rather not have the tourists here, but it’s just a part of living in New York. You just have to find the best places to hide from them.”

Monty was way too good. A part of him wanted to see if he could corrupt him but another part of him wanted Monty to always remain the same. It was a mystery to him how Monty was raised here and yet he was so freaking good and innocent. Ben could not relate. “I always like to do things that people tell me I can’t do. Reverse psychology works too well on me.” He admitted with a chuckle. “It’s just annoying when they stop in the middle of the street,” Ben said with frustration.“Have you ever been to Dive 75? I bet tourists don’t go there.” 

[facelesssnaps]

iamrenanpacheco

[benvanderbilt]

quinnxarchibald‌:

Quinn looked over at Ben for a moment before shaking his head. “Yeah, you make a very good point. Most people here kind of suck don’t they?” He sighed, thinking of how much time he’d spent hating how fake people were. Despite hating the facade, he couldn’t imagine leaving the way Ben or Monty had. “I dunno about screens though, it’s not the same as face to face.”

He could go on and pretend as if everything was normal. Nothing was normal between them. Nothing was normal for Ben right now anyways. Maybe this would be a good segway into what had happened and the apology that he owed Quinn. But that meant actually talking about things and Ben was not a fan of that action. “I’m assuming you heard what happened.” He blurted. Shit. “I mean what happened at the party. Not with me, particularly,” It wasn’t a big deal what had happened to him or anything. Possession was a big deal but he wanted to minimize that as much as possible around Quinn. Because Quinn seemed to have been through so much because of him already. He should’ve just apologized to Quinn. Instead, he continued to talk about phones. “I honestly think screens are taking over everyone’s lives. Have you ever seen those videos of New York back in the 80′s? No one was on their phone.”

[benvanderbilt]

arlovasquez‌:

One of the last people Arlo expected to see while he was out was Ben. But here he was, standing in the same coffee shop he was. 

“I’m not well. And it’s trashed. Well, it was trashed. I’ve been cleaning the last few days but I can only the find the energy to do a few things at a time, ya know?”

He went silent, sitting in the chair. He turned his head back to the window and watched the people outside for a few moments before he turned back to Ben. “How’re you?”

He looked down at his feet as Arlo spoke as if he was ashamed of what had happened that night. “Why not just hire a professional cleaning crew or whatever? I’m sure they have enough manpower to clean it an hour.” He suggested, 

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine, actually. But he thought saying it out loud would convince himself that he was fine. “Have you ever had a pissed off wife before?” He asked, rhetorically, “Because it’s not my idea of a good time.” Things seemed tense for everyone. New Year’s Eve fucked up everyone. “Have you spoken to Chessie?”

[benvanderbilt]

wrenabernathy‌:

Getting out of the house for non-work-related events for the first time in almost three weeks was a thing in itself, but Wren also felt like he was being watched with every step he took. That’s Wren Abernathy, his sister is the one who overdosed on New Year’s Eve, he could hear all around him. And even though he knew it was just all in his mind, it made him uber-conscious of every move he made.

So, instead of looking for the crowds, Wren was happy to find his favorite café and make his way all the way to the back to sit at the tiny round table. He’d been reading the newspaper for a few minutes when he heard glass falling and looked up to the barista who’d dropped things, and then couldn’t help but recognize the person standing just a few feet away from him. “Oh,” he said as the other also seemed to notice Wren. “Hi.”

Cafe’s reminded him of Europe. Well, sort of. Anything was better than Starbucks. Ben was longing for a pastry which is why he ended up inside in the first place. And then he saw Chessie’s brother. Shit. 

“Hey Wren,”  He said. He wasn’t sure if Wren got the full rundown of events that had occurred o New Year’s Eve. Did he know that Ben was with Chessie when she OD’ed? “How’s your sister?” He couldn’t help but ask. All of this felt too familiar and he was going to ask if she was alright any chance that he got.

[benvanderbilt]

arlovasquez‌:

The days crawled by with little to no brightness to them; not in a physical sense but within his mind. Everything to Arlo was bleak and dark. He hadn’t smoked, painted, or done anything productive in days. This was the first day he’d actually gotten the motivation to put on regular clothes and head out for a walk.

And he walked for hours because he knew if he stopped, he wouldn’t want to keep going. But he needed to get something to drink, so he stepped inside a small coffee shop of 34th and ordered a black coffee, setting his stuff on a table near the window and gazing out.

“Fuck.”

It was just by coincidence that he had spotted Arlo. In fact, Ben wouldn’t dare set his feet in a “hipster” coffee shop. He was too good for New York Hipsters. However, he stopped in his tracks when he saw Arlo. Before he could stop himself, he was inside. And approaching the other man. 

“Arlo.” He stated, “You look worse than I do.” He wanted to ask how he was since everything went down. He hadn’t spoken much to anyone since the arrest. Maybe that was because he was also keeping himself in isolation. “How are you?” He finally blurted after the internal struggle his brain was creating inside. “How’s your place since everything went down?” He didn’t remember much about the cops coming in but he figured it would’ve been left a mess from them at least.