Ben Walker

Ben Walker. 33. Musician. In your dreams, I'm a criminal: Horrible, sleeping around. While you're awake, I'm impossible, constantly letting you down

[benwalkermusic]

suzie--craine​:

As Suzie looked around her table to see if she’d had the foresight to grab napkins, it was then she heard that voice she knew all too well. She froze, hearing those familiar words and just like that, her heart broke. Guilt and shame washed over her because of course, it wasn’t an angry voice. It was soft and caring, just like it always was. She bit her lip, closing her eyes and then looking up as she opened them to gaze upon the face of the man she’d essentially spent her entire childhood with as well as part of her young adult life. 

She was absolutely frozen and soon, the entirety of the café and it’s patrons melted away and all that existed now, in this moment, was her and Ben. Her heart was pounding so hard against the inside of her chest that she was sure he heard it. She was stunned and with all her might she tried to hold back the inevitable tears that were bound to come. “H-hi,” was all she could say.

As he sopped up the mess of her drink, she took some napkins from him and sopped up the liquid that had soaked into her clothing as well, smiling politely and taking a deep breath. “Fancy seeing you here,” she bit her lip, looking back up at him, the most guilt ridden expression on her face. She wanted to tell him everything, pour her heart out, apologize profusely. She knew she’d hurt him all those years ago. 

Suzie looked him over a bit, admiring the signs of aging that had developed on the boy she loved; more facial hair, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, shorter hair, less skinny and more filled out. He’d, of course, only grown more handsome and was still so sweet. She half expected him to be angry and dismissive with her when and if they crossed paths. She knew how small the city could be and she knew it was only a matter of time. 

“How, um… how have you been? Congrats on all the music stuff. I’ve been trying to keep up.”

--

Don’t do this, Ben wanted to say. Don’t tell me you keep tabs on me, like you care.

If Ben hadn’t known where to look, he might have believed that Suzie hadn’t aged a day. It wasn’t fair that the years refused to add up on her the way they’d added up on him. Wasn’t fair that looking at her was like time-traveling. Seven years.

He passed the gross wad of napkins from one hand to the other, then turned so he could throw it away – so he could have a moment to breathe. But then he looked back at her, and he saw the corners of her mouth turn up in a smile, like this wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to her, and he wanted to die.

“I’ve been good,” he finally said. If someone had asked him that mere minutes ago, he would have believed it. Now he wasn’t so sure. He didn’t want to lie to Suzie, even now, but what good would the truth do?

I’ve been looking for love in the bodies of strangers like some drunk teenager, Suzie. I let a man spit in my mouth because I thought I deserved it, Suzie. I wake up alone every single day because letting someone else move in would feel like cheating, Suzie.

“Why –” he swallowed. Why did you do that to me, Suzie? “– Um, what brings you back to New York?”

[benwalkermusic]

suzie--craine​:

Location: Any Coffee Shop Open Starter

The way in which Suzie was capable of procrastinating was seriously genius at this point in her life. The fact that she’d managed to get as far in her career as she had with the amount of procrastination she took part in truly surprised her and her agent but here she was, doing just that in a coffee shop when she should be putting the finishing touches on some new pieces that would be displaying at the art show she would be holding in just 5 weeks. Her phone buzzed for the 4th time now, her agents name sprawled across the screen. She watched it buzz and buzz until finally, it went to voicemail. 

She went back to sketching in her sketchbook, drawing any passerby who decided to walk in front of her that day. It helped her when she was experiencing art block as bad as she was. That and doing other creative things. 

As she looked up to find a new subject to sketch, she moved forward in her chair and just like that, elbowed her iced oat milk latte on the floor. She sighed, shaking her head and grabbing napkins to try and sop it up. “Goddammit.” Unfortunately for her, most of it ended up on her lap, the cold icy liquid soaking through her pants.

Ben was certain he had to look every bit the stereotype, sat in the corner of Dotty’s Corner with his guitar propped up against the wall, book in his hand. His show wasn’t for a couple hours, but he couldn’t be at home while the maintenance crew was sawing the universe in half one floor below his apartment. So he sat, legs crossed at the ankles, and read about the troubles of Elizabeth Bennet, an untouched latte in front of him. Every bit the cosplay of an agéd art student.

Suzie had been the one to introduce Ben to the manager at Dotty’s years ago. She had also tried for years to get Ben to read Pride & Prejudice. It was strange how thinking of these things didn’t hurt the way he expected. For a moment, he imagined texting Suzie to tell him about how Mister Collins could get fucked. There was a whole world where he could still tell her things about his day; a world where she wanted to hear them. This was not that world, but that wasn’t so bad anymore.

When someone swore, he looked up. All the hurt he thought he wasn’t carrying came down and crushed the air out of his chest. He shook his head, but the vision of Suzie persisted. That was her face framed in a fall of braids; her mouth crewed up in agony at the mess on her clothes. Her. Her.

As it turned out, years of thinking about what he would do if he could see her again had done nothing to prepare him. He wanted to leave. He wanted to cry. He wanted someone, anyone, to help her; to spare her from her misery. But no one moved. He swallowed his misery, put Lizzie Bennet down, and made his way over to her. He grabbed some napkins from the counter and knelt in front of Suzie to mop up the drink before his courage could leave him – before she could look at him and strike him down.

One night, he’d spent almost an hour cooking his bubbe chakchouka for Suzie’s birthday, only to spill the whole pan and burn part of his leg, somehow. She’d come running from across the apartment to make sure he was okay. “It’s just food,” she’d said, and then she kissed him and rubbed burn cream into his leg, and they got Chinese food instead – another bubbe tradition.

So instead of Why did you do it? and Did you think about me?, all he said was, “It’s just food.”

Suzie was not burned, of course. There were no wounds here to soothe; no part of her he was allowed to kiss better. He looked up at her ajust as she looked down at him, and he wondered if his heart would leap out of his chest and into her lap as he said, “Hi.”

[benwalkermusic]

why am i awake? nails on the floor and soot on my tongue i don't know his name but i still taste the rum

nothing there but skin skeletons crawl on the ceiling they know that him and his aftershave hit like a drug

don't answer me i'm calling just to hear you scream and you're fading but he feels like you in between i've said too much in and out of wanting us now you're fading and i wonder who will erase me

[benwalkermusic]

legatumhominis​:

Some days Matthew likes to think he isn’t a creature of firsts. Billy had been his first kiss, the first man he’d taken to bed. Samual was his first best friend, the first to wake up in his bed in his apartment, the first to make him wonder about a real future together. But Ben - He’d read somewhere once you never really forget your first crush.

There’s something reckless in being here, waiting for him when he knew where it almost lead him last time. That balmy night in that club seems like a lifetime and Matthew recalls how easily he’d been drawn in, how frightening it was to lean in and nearly feel a whisper of a kiss before they’d parted. He’d panicked then, nausea overwhelming his senses as he ran through all the scenarios where his family would ruin those brown eyes and crooked smile. It feels poetic coming back to a bar despite it being the Whiskey Nancy in lieu of that night.

Ernst is a far less kind bartender and far less talkative than any of the servers in strobing neons and g-strings. Instead the old man hums, gives Ben a brief once over and scowls as he heads off to make god knows what. Matthew isn’t worried, not really.

Hey. Nice to see you.

And that’s it, his stomach twists a little with a lot less nausea. Easy to smile, to look away first with a huff and then those shy blues are back on the curve of Ben’s mouth. They dance upward and Matthew feels words catch in his mouth.

Did you think about me?

Did it matter?

Where would we be now?

“Hey.” A small smile. “You look good.”

Ben had forgotten, until this very moment, the way Matthew’s eyes make the whole world pitch forward. Ben could fall in. He could drown. He grips the bar while he finds his seat; he stays upright. 

“Thanks; you too.”

But is “good” all of it? Something is different. This is a man who’s stepped out of a shell or two, who’s looked into a mirror and admitted something he had been avoiding. Maybe they really are as alike as Ben has always wondered, or maybe Ben is lonely and projecting. Maybe projection is all Ben has ever done.

Did I do something wrong? Ben wants to say, but all he says is, “How have you been?”

[benwalkermusic]

missjennybennett​:

            “That makes sense.” It is his story and he should be able to tell it any way he likes without someone else doing it for him. That’s what makes this kind of thing so important, she thinks. Especially for someone in the public eye much more than herself. Jenny’s smile is wide and bright and she nods her head pretty enthusiastically.                Like Beyonce. “I think that’s a great idea! I would love to hear it!” And of course, assist in the production of the music video. Jenny loves working with Ben. He’s one of her best friends anyway and she’d do just about anything to help him out. She’s just especially glad that Ben’s able to be more comfortable in his own skin.                That’s her favorite thing. Ben being comfortable and happy.              “Oh it’s nothing yet! I’m just– - Trying to set up shop at the house so I can do hair and stuff at home!” Bigger cut. She’s the house, after all. “Looking at a couple different chairs.” No real plans yet. She needs to do a class on taxes too so she doesn’t fuck herself over trying to start a new business. 

Admittedly, Ben has some trouble imagining Jenny doing hair in her apartment – where would she put the chair, the mirror, all her little supplies? – but she was always so much better at planning than him, and if she has a vision, he has no choice but to believe in her.

“Okay, so, one: my cousin Mel is an accountant for small businesses, and I’m sure he’ll give you some advice if I have you call him. If you need that. Maybe you don’t. But I’m here for you, however I can help.

“And two: you made a face when I told you just now. You - you knew, didn’t you? What gave me away? Be honest.”

[benwalkermusic]

it’s been sooooo hard to keep this one to myself, but erase me is out now!! stream it on spotify and watch the video on youtube! i wanted to wait until the video was ready before dropping the song because I see how y’all speculate about taylor swift and I don’t want to leave any room for interpretation here – erase me is about getting over someone, and let’s just say i’ve learned a few things about myself while trying to figure out how to get over someone 💖💜💙 

shoutout to my mom, who asked me if we should take “a pilgrimage to san francisco” when I told her, and shoutout to all my talented friends who made this video possible. i love you!

[benwalkermusic]

jeremiahlodge​:

𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔬𝔶~

Jer rubs his lips together, tips of his ears turning a little pinker when the man twists it all around and turns what Jer considers work into something he should, technically, be more proud of.

“I guess you’re right. And I’m leaning toward forensic pathology as my end goal, so, I could really make a difference, then. It could be my origin story.” He laughs, grabbing his cup for a quick drink.

“Forensic pathology,” Ben echoes. “Like CSI!”

He regrets the comparison as soon as it leaves his mouth. He grins bashfully, looks away, then decides that he has no hope of eating his taco right now. He glances back at Jer.

“Sorry. You deserve better than that. But also: I can totally see you in those big, cheesy aviator glasses.”

[benwalkermusic]

missjennybennett​:

             Ben says he’ll be fine. Jenny supposes she can’t argue with him too much or she’ll appear unsupportive. Which is absolutely not the case. She is very proud of him. And very supportive. She just thinks that as someone who is, perhaps, exploring his queerness for the first time in a more public manner that he should be a little cautious. Falling for the first man you experiment with could be an issue, right?              “A new song?! And you didn’t tell me?!” Jenny reaches over and swats at his arm lightly. “Ben!! That’s incredible! You have to tell me everything!” And just like that she’s put Jeremiah Lodge on the back burner for now. She’ll snoop later. When she remembers. “The message, right? That you’ve realized you’re bisexual?”                It’s wonderful, she thinks, that Ben’s already so supportive and she hasn’t even bought the salon chair yet. She beams, clearly pleased with that reaction. Jenny tosses her hair over her shoulder. “Right?! I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I was cutting this girl named Stella’s hair. She was talking all about her business. Star-Catcher, y’know? Made it seem really glamorous. Wouldn’t have to share my tips or anything!” Jenny sips at her coffee with a delighted little sigh. “I would LOVE to help with your music video, Ben!” She loves working with him, honestly and he deserves to have the very best. She’s not so humble to pretend like she’s not the best. 

Ben pretends to swat Jenny away when she reaches out to him, but he’s laughing. 

“The message,” he says. “I’d rather tell everyone before word gets out, you know? It’s my story. I have the whole concept and everything – I think you’ll like it. The song isn’t totally finished, but that’s fine. I kinda wanna release the video and the song at the same time.” He pauses for breath. “You know. Like Beyonce.”

For a moment, Ben’s embarrassed. He was rambling. Caught up in his own tornado. But this is Jenny – she lets him go and go and go and she always manages to follow along.

“Anyway, I’ll play you my demo later if you want. But I still wanna hear about your plans. Those are way more important.”

[legatumhominis]

- @benwalkermusic

Just drinks, the text said. Just to catch up. 

So why did he feel so nervous standing in the corner of Nancy’s rubbing his elbow looking around. Ernst is just behind the bar giving him a wary sort of once over and Matthew has to refrain from caving under the man’s scrutiny. It’s tempting to pull out his phone and text Samual if he’s honest, just a small little joke or hello to find some kind of courage.

But Samual is busy, he knows as much. Something about an eight hour tattoo and not being able to respond right away. Matthew took it to mean ‘Don’t interrupt me unless it’s for an emergency’ and that nagging little voice sounds suspiciously like his father in a way he doesn’t feel like unpacking. Hanging up his coat is a good start as he checks his watch and finally resigns himself to taking a seat at the bar.

“Alright Ernst, I guess I’ll take the usual.”

[benwalkermusic]

Ben doesn’t know why he sent the text in the first place. When somebody ducks out on you in the middle of a show, that’s a pretty clear signal.

But is it?

Ben has replayed that night over and over too many times. Matthew’s face is a montage of secret smiles and lingering glances; the memory of his touch is lightning. It’s thunder. Just like a storm to roll right over him and vanish. That’s a line for a song.

Just as well: his notepad is on his bedside table, right where he left it before typing that text. Just a drink. What does he want out of this, Ben wonders as he steps inside Nancy’s. An apology? Is he mad? No. Ben’s ducked out on dates before.

Was that a date? Was that the problem? Maybe he just wanted Matthew to confirm his version of events – tell him there was, in fact, lightning. Maybe he wants to thank Matthew? Ben has only kissed so many men since that night because he wanted to kiss Matthew and he didn’t. 

When Ben sees Matthew’s back at the bar, all of this falls out of his brain. Maybe he just didn’t want to be alone tonight. 

Ben steps up to the barstool beside Matthew, giving Ernst a nod; then he turns and smiles –

Why did you do that?

How have you been?

What would we have done if you stayed?

“Hey. Nice to see you.”

[benwalkermusic]

jeremiahlodge​:

𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔬𝔶~

“Really?” Jer asks, brightening a little at the thought that they have a shared interest. “What’s not to love about the Science Guy, am I right?” He laughs lightly, shaking his head. “No, I mean… really be Spider-Man, not just dress up. I’ve done CosPlays before. I just… you know, it’d be really cool?” To be a superhero, especially one that lived in New York and was into science.

Ben watches Jer’s face as he explains himself. There’s a kind of wistfulness on his brow that makes Ben’s heart ache.

“I mean,” Ben offers, leaning in, “Being a chemist is kind of like being a superhero, I think. You take one thing and turn it into something else, and the stuff you make helps people! I think that’s pretty cool.”

He picks up another taco, but pauses to look back up at Jer.

“...You could always get a cool costume, if it helps, but I don’t think you need one.”

[benwalkermusic]

missjennybennett​:

              “Toxin, huh? Scarecrow, then?” She asks rather curiously. Batman. Jeremiah Lodge. She files that away for investigation later. She’ll snoop on his socials and see what he’s all about. So long as she remembers, of course. “Huh… Chemistry?” could you get PhDs in chemistry? Probably. Jenny doesn’t know anything about any of that. And she mostly doesn’t care.  Okay. You better text me like. Every ten minutes or I’m gonna crash the date and take you home.”                 Jenny has other things to worry about. Like the cost of salon chairs. And music videos. And cosmetics.                “That was pretty gross, Ben. I thought you were more reserved than that.” Still, she looks proud. Jenny pats his hand affectionately, “Look at you. All growed up.” A baby queer. She loves to see it, honestly. “So. Bisexual. That’s pretty big news, Ben. How are you going to share that with your fanbase? Are you planning on sharing it with your fanbase?” Because he didn’t have to. And Jenny wasn’t going to force him out of the closet unless he wanted to be out of the closet.                  Ben asks about her and Jenny shrugs. “Y’know. Nothin’ much. Lotta first dates. Not a lotta second ones. That’s okay. I feel like ‘f I’m gonna find my girl she’s gonna make it easier on me.” Might take a while. But Jenny’s okay with that. She’s also okay with dying old and alone too if that’s what happens. She hopes it doesn’t. But she’s okay with it. She props her head up on one hand. “I’m thinkin’ about gettin’ a salon chair for th’ apartment. Start workin’ outta there. You’ll refer people to me, right? ‘f I go solo?”

“I’ll be fine,” Ben insists again. He knows by now that there’s no point in trying to assuage Jenny’s – what are they? Fears? Concerns? He nods his way through them and dramatizes an eye-roll. 

When she asks about his fan base, Ben nearly jumps. “I almost forgot to tell you that I’ve been working on a new song! I was thinking I could use that to, um, send a message.” He has to stop himself there – he could go on and on about the ideas he already has for a music video; how he wants her on wardrobe again; how maybe she can be in the video, if she wants.

Ben would much rather talk about Jenny. He watches her deflate as she talks about her prospects, but then a little light comes back on when she mentions working out of her apartment.

“Holy shit!” he exclaims, only just catching himself before he shouts; it comes out a stage whisper. “That’s huge, Jenny! Of course I’ll refer people! I’ll tell everyone about you on Instagram. And I – well, I have another music video brewing. Maybe we can get you some publicity out of that!” 

[benwalkermusic]

thelutherpearce​:

Luther was quite used to honorifics, and he typically didn’t correct or alter them once they were chosen; mister, sir, whatever the case, he was rather comfortable on his high horse.

he exhales and a waterfall of smoke cascades from his nostrils and the faint part in his tiers, looking up at the server from under his eyebrows while she places the glass in front of Ben. “They’re expected to have a habit of making our guests, especially the important ones, comfortable.” he offers, just before she smiles and slinks away. “And I try to make a habit of introducing myself to the newest patrons the right way— by appealing to their tastebuds first.” he chortles, before taking a swig from his own glass. the lounge itself was massive, but there were mostly regulars. regulars that Luther knew by name, had their whiskey choice memorized, because he was not so keen on strangers in his second home.

when Ben blurts out his willingness for a regular set here at the bar, Luther’s left eyebrow twitches. a pique of interest. “Is that so? And just how regular were you thinking?”

Ben half expected that his little proposition would get him ganked on the spot. Walked out back for a nice chat. Thrown to the drink. But he knows interest when he sees it – even if it seems wildly out of place on the face of Luther Pearce. Ben does his best to fix his mouth and recover quickly.

“Every other Friday,” he says, nodding. “I’m not touring again until the summer. I figured we could help each other out. You know – I have a lot of local fans, and, looking around, I feel like my listeners include a demographic you haven’t quite tapped yet.”

Help each other out? Jesus. No more crime dramas, Ben resolves.

“...Also, for whatever it’s worth: your sound people really know their shit. It’s refreshing.”

[benwalkermusic]

jeremiahlodge​:

Jer grins as Ben’s taco starts to fall apart. “Gotta love that, huh?” He says, pointing to Ben’s plate before he uses what’s left of his tortilla to scoop up some of the fillings that have fallen onto his platter.

He laughs at the joke, shaking his head ‘no’. “I’ve always been into it. I was a nerdy kid, really got into Bill Nye when I was super young and never looked back.” He pauses to take a sip of his drink, wiping his mouth with his napkin, a little embarrassed when the napkin comes back soiled. “I wish I was Spider-Man.”

“I love Bill Nye!” Ben chimes in, still dabbing at his mouth. “–And, for the record, you could totally be Spider-Man. Isn’t he also a chemist? And I mean, your body is– well, like that. I’m hairy and kinda short, so I guess my best bet is Wolverine. I can smoke a prop cigar and say ‘Bub’ a lot.”

[benwalkermusic]

missjennybennett​:

                 Jenny’s eyebrows disappear entirely behind her bangs as she listens. “Okay…” She sips at her coffee for a moment. “Listen, baby’s first experience as a queer person in a way that’s more substantial than it might have been before is always cute regardless of how gross you are.” She punches at his arm lightly with another laugh. “Gross. I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.” And she hopes the date goes well. Jenny’s not sure how to do that kind of thing. Sure she’s done casual dates and hookups before but it’s not usually in a backroom at the Othello. It’s at the other person’s apartment. She can’t bring some random girl home to meet her sister before they fuck. That’d be rude.                    She studies Ben’s face thoughtfully. “I’m glad you had an experience.” Even if she knew he was at the very least queer in some fashion for a while. It’s nice to see him blossoming a little. “You’d better text me because I’ll go full Ninja Turtle on his ass if something happens to my best friend. You know what I’m capable of.” That’s rather pointed. “What’s his name?” So she can go out and do some digging just to make extra sure. 

Ben finds that he’s laughing despite himself. He dramatizes a wince when Jenny punches him; rubs his arm. 

“Cool it, Donatello,” he teases, “I’m pretty sure he’s not an axe murderer. He’d go with toxin, if I had to guess.” He lets that hang for a beat, then adds: “His name is Jeremiah Lodge. He’s getting his PhD in some complex form of chemistry. I made terrible Breaking Bad jokes; don’t worry.”

Over Jenny’s shoulder, Ben catches movement from the counter. There’s a familiar, musical giggle when someone tells Jenny’s favorite bartender a joke. She catches Ben looking and beams, so he beams back. Ben would swear that her eyes dart to Jenny before she goes back to work.

“Enough about my gross life, huh?” Ben adds. “What about you?”

[benwalkermusic]

jeremiahlodge​:

“You’re welcome!” Jer replies, grinning widely at Ben. “Okay, I’ll send you a link after we eat?” He offers, thinking about his YouTube channel. There are maybe a dozen videos, so not too much, but they all took a long time and a lot of effort. He feels a little shy letting Ben see it. It’s nerdy stuff, after all.

He leans over his platter, taking a sloppy bite of his taco. Some of the carne asada slips out the back of the tortilla along with the other fillings, but that’s fine. That’s what happens when you eat tacos. “I’m glad you like it!” He replies, a little bit of sauce on his chin. “I just walked by it – and it smelled so good, I had to come in.”

Right on cue, Ben’s own taco begins to abort mission. He laughs mid-bite and does his best to finish what he started. Once his first victory is out of the way, he plucks up a napkin to dab at his mouth. 

“What made you decide to study chemistry,” he asks. “Were you bitten by a radioactive spider? Wait, let me guess: you can’t answer that.”

[benwalkermusic]

missjennybennett​:

             It’s good to just. See him relax a little bit. Jenny would pay a lot of money to see those shoulders untense more often. If she can be a safe place for him, or a safe person for him, she’s happy.                Jenny can’t help but laugh at that, “Okay fine. Don’t be gross at Dotty’s, but I do expect a full report later, okay? What do you like about him? Where did you meet?” Ben says he’s going to see him again this evening. “You better text me so I know you’re safe.” It’s said like it’s a joke, but it isn’t. She does worry. About him. About her sister. Most of her friends. “Did you feel liberated?”

Ben averts his gaze. “Unfortunately, it isn’t as cute as you probably want it to be. We met at the blackout party at Othello, something about him really spoke to me, and I know my way around the building from the shows I’ve done there, so I – I found us an empty room.”

Having said all of this out loud, Ben is pretty sure he’s fallen into some terrible CW show.

“But it was fun, and I will text you. I promise.”

[benwalkermusic]

jeremiahlodge​:

“I do like chemistry.” Jer muses, smiling at Ben. “I have a YouTube channel, actually.” He has quite a few followers on there, too. Something about someone young and passionate simplifying something he loves for others to consume. “If you want to see it sometime?” Right then, the restaurant employee calls his name and he pushes himself up from the table. “Excuse me, be right back.” Always polite. He walks to the counter, has a pleasant exchange with said employee, then returns to the table with little platters of tacos. “Enjoy!” He says as he places them on the table and resumes his seat.

Ben opens his mouth to reply, only for Jer to get up, so he says, “Yeah, sure!”

He’s so glad for the chance to watch Jer walk away. It’s terrible, he thinks. Awful, he agrees with himself as his eyes train right on Jer’s hips. He takes a deep breath and looks away.

Jer is back in what seems like the next instant.

“Thanks!” Ben says, beaming. “And for the record, I do want to see your channel.”

Fear strikes Ben as he reaches for the tacos. He can already see himself spilling, making a damn fool of himself and everyone who ever loved him. But he couldn’t just not eat. He picks up a taco, against his own better judgement, and the first bite is safe. Stable. No spills to be had.

“Good!” he observes aloud, mouth still partly full, then swallows. “How – How’d you find this place?”