[benzolena]

Since life is about trying.

Somethings that we do from jump,

Trying to see.

Trying to hold our head up.

Trying to touch

Trying not to touch.

Trying to crawl, walk, pull yourself up and stand.

Shit we try to drive.

Drugs.

Foods

People

And it keeps going as you get older and weirder...

Who would have thought you'd have to try not to die.

Try not to...

[benzolena]

Sometimes I'm to cocky.

You know those people who has their head so far up their own ass, yeah sometimes that's me.

I just can't smell the shit I say sometimes.

However first step is admitting you have a problem.

And so Houston, we....

you know what the fuck it is.

[benzolena]

How attached can a parent be to a child?

Is it based on age?

Is there levels to this?

I mean, I see animal lovers go hard for their pets, letting them lick them in the mouth.

I wouldn't go that far, but I just want to know.

I'm raising a kingdom, so I'm their first line,, armed and ready for battle.

I'm suited and booted.

Their father is too though!

And we got a whole lot of family!

[benzolena]

When you forget to secure the bag!

So one night I was up home alone, with the baby, we chilling on the couch. I got hungry, so I got up, my love got the cabinets lit, so I'm taking my time trying to decide what's going to get in my belly.

Baby makes a noise on the couch, I look over and with just a simple roll, I knew I didn't secure the bag. I mean baby. This is called when you forget to secure the baby, you drug heads money makers. I forgot to secure the baby not the bag. My hubby got the bag set.

So anywho I Superman fly to the couch to try and catch a baby, Who doesn't even move, simply stretches and stays still, as I bust all my shit trying to get there fast enough and nail my landing. In other words, always secure the baby.

[benzolena]

Kids are like your guardian Angels in the flesh.

So how much trouble would an Angel have to go through living with you?

[benzolena]

I know a lot may be going on right now.

I know you are use to being able to see five steps ahead and right now you may only be able to see where your feet stands.

I may not be the best person in this time, but I pray and hope I am enough.

I pray and hope that you see the strength in yourself and maybe in me to know that this too shall pass.

Yes God only knows what's in store, but if he set the plans everything will be just right.

I love you and am here.

I am unable to say this cause life has me in emotions and I'll be a teary mess.

Again WE love you.

[benzolena]

Life is not a pissing test, you are already qualified.

You already have history.

Your skills are beyond anyone else's.

You can be like you better than you.

[benzolena]

I got it.

Life's about fucking and how you consent to being fucked.

Are you being fucked or have you been doing the fucking?

I believe I've been fucked for to long and it's time for me to do some fucking.

I will continue to increase my fuck abilities.

[benzolena]

Sometimes I fear to speak about this love I have been thankfully blessed with, afraid of being judged, hated on, shinning to bright, envied or being to open, but I'm at a point in my life where I'd be damned if I don't.

I could never imagine sex could be so fun.

I grew up fearing sex in a way, being honest with myself now. Also my first time being what it was (If you know, you know), sex was not the greatest two partners before.

I had a moment in my current relationship where I felt it actually was going to be the end all of my relationship. However open as a can of tuna, I reached out to my father and again if you know you know. I wasn't raised with him to say the least and when we did, drugs, money and respect got involved. Got a bit ugly, but I am love and will always have respect for him. Life always sends me running his way for some reason.

I talked to him on this particular night, feeling down and low due to my non abilities to bust the cry baby on my husband... lmao

Any who I wanted to get the take on sex from a man who's had experience with it with a variety of partners.

He broke it down simple, "get out your head and have fun."

Stressed because we find ourselves laughing instead of breath taking, room shaking moans. Fighting the thoughts of how much power he has over me, when he begins to do the things he do to deserve that power.

I appreciate my mother for allowing me to speak openly.

Teenage child telling her parent that they done sucked dick and ate pussy all in the same summer could make a parent think they child was a hoe.

However my mother did not judge and I never felt like I was unable to speak my truth again.

I have to remember these times because I tend to shy away from my truth with the biggest feard I shared.

But again I be damned if I don't.

I just want you in my skin, Love. 💚

[benzolena]

Baby, boo got you out here looking crazy in these streets.

Kicking, screaming and snatching up things.

But it's phenomenal

Intoxicated, got you wasted, but it's love.

Drunk in a club, but really living life too.

Taxes due. But your fist are black and blue.

Not from the work real people do.

Bro and the hubby got to get a check.

Back breaking, legs shaking, but they can't even flex.

It's OK if this all goes over your head.

I understand we all have to find one way to get to that bread.

I'm lived, so forget it little midget.

My minds on seven digits. So you can't front on me. Head bussing, no loving. Just tussling. That's what I need.

[benzolena]

My bloods blue, but I'm black.

Like the Crack of your ass black.

I'm black. That's a fact you can't miss it.

I'm hip hop black, might miss a beat here or there, but you wouldn't know because I'm black.

Like the night and the dark. I might go missing because some old man's fishing. But I'd fight back because I am black.

Like hiding the bruises, as If someone would chose this. My skin is black they going to get them bruises.

Like gifting a child Cole, they would never know. A diamond could unfold. I'm that black.

My bloods blue. You would never know. Cut me and you get something ugly.

Like a bleeding heart, my blue turns to goo.

You can try to look through my hand again that color goes again.

It's like a fart or wait that's green. But my blue can be green.

I'm like a shark that goes crazy for red. Or at least in my head.

Bloods blue like the ocean oh wait sometimes that's green

My bloods be family. That skin deep we share the same genes. No cap.

If you beauty than I got a hint of that too.

You me we the same.

No matter what we claim. Set up by the OGs of the earth.

A head with no face.

The earth is just a place. Move around and you'll see the face.

For each animal or thing has a start and a end.

[benzolena]

I think what makes me cry sometime in life is that I go through all these hoops before speaking (How will i feel if this person says this to me. Am I being disrespectful. It's not what you say it's how you say it, am I saying it right.) While i feel majority people don't and just say however they feel, in no regards to me, sometimes. So while one is freely yapping and expressing themselves. I'm mentally beating myself up just to say how I feel or what I think.

[benzolena]

I shake and I shiver.

no sleep I deliver.

to you grams and things

I mean who can judge me.

Only the one above, man.

And those seeds that I've sowed

Because I am above those

I glitter and I shimmer

To thee

World i delivered.

To your soul

And you already know

How the saying goes

Not everything is great.

So be thankful for what is

And more will come, shit.

Stacking up on my blessings.

Writing down every lesson.

So when my stories told.

It will be gold.

Because how I unfold

So A letter to my people

We will never be equal

So do we want to be the

Lesser of a few?

That's what I thought too.

Fuck being a goat.

I Am Gold.

So when you know that worth

Why would you ever not choose you first.

Go getter!!!

[benzolena]

I am a C average student.

Trust me when I say.

The answer is always C. For Can't.

If someone says you can't.

Trust me and circle C.

I passed all my aims and on a low average.

I got to do what all the A's and B's studentd did.

So if you really want to be successful go find you A and B student, I'm just trying to make you average.

I've been knowingly average all my life.

Now if someone says you shouldn't That's F. For Fire.

Whatever it is don't you go do that.

Like if someone says, " you know you shouldn't be wearing...

Go take that off.

Now if someone says, I bet you can't fly like a bird, while yaw hiking drunk.

Take yaw drunk asses back home safely and go set yourselves up for some sky diving tickets.

Your friend says he needs to feel the rush to be alive again.

Help him be free.

Safety first.

I'm an average student, always select C.

If someone says you can't show them you can.

I could probably go get a IQ test, right now, study average and an end up with an average score.

I'm the inedible, with incentive I would do that, but on average, no I would not want to look like a failure. So it's likely that I shouldn't want to embarras myself like that, so I won't.

[benzolena]

#Kings #TheirBlackIsBeautiful when you see these faces know that's me. I'm sharing this to let the world know not to touch and ask those that see their kings to share as well, because ima ride with you, so hope you riding with me. #YesIAmCrazy #ItTakesAVillageToRaiseAKing YES!!! #ImAboutTheirLife

[benzolena]

#Kings #TheirBlackIsBeautiful when you see these faces know that's me. I'm sharing this to let the world know not to touch and ask those that see their kings to share as well, because ima ride with you, so hope you riding with me. #YesIAmCrazy #ItTakesAVillageToRaiseAKing YES!!! #ImAboutTheirLife

[benzolena]

I do dearly. #RP #ValueYourVagin @walkingparad0xx