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#BERMUDALINE: SUGAR, SPICE, AND EVERYTHING NICE

[bermudas]

𝖓𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

eun, she/her, 19

previously... seokwu, juyeonblr

status: semi-hiatus (est. 06.02.21)

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[bermudas]

crimson clover

↳ summary: an act of service is an act of love—in which younghoon has been in love with you for as long as he can remember, even before he became your knight 

↳ pairing: knight!younghoon x royal!gender neutral reader

↳ genre: fluff, angst

↳ themes & tropes: fantasy au, royalty au, knight x royal, secret relationship, forbidden love

↳ warnings: fantasy-typical conflict (background information), allusions to infidelity (arranged marriage), brief mentions of violence, death, war, weapons, and assassination

↳ word count: 1.6k

↳ notes: this is a very belated holiday exchange fic for @warmau! thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it <3 also heavily inspired by taylor swift’s “the great war” and the story of tristan and iseult (with a hint of the princess bride). special thanks to @blushyeon​ & @sichengtual​​ for beta reading this piece for me!

Younghoon thinks the common clothing does nothing to hide your radiance. 

Sure, they’re rather plain compared to your usual royal finery, but, if anything, he only finds you even more beautiful. It occurs to him that your disguise may be too simple—you will surely draw more attention than the two of you hope to attract on your journey. He tells himself it’s only because it will make his job harder, and not because he wants to keep you all to himself.

Not that you were ever his to keep anyways.

“I don’t understand why we have to do all this, Sir Younghoon,” you say, fussing with the saddlebags. “Surely the other kingdom isn’t stupid enough to jeopardize the peace treaty, not after decades of bloodshed.” 

“It is only an extra precaution, Your Highness. While the Crown Prince has made his intentions clear, the same cannot be said for the rest of the kingdom.” He rests his hand on the hilt of the blade concealed underneath his cloak. “People will look twice at a royal procession or a carriage passing by, but they won’t think anything of a married couple traveling alone.” 

“Will we even make it in time for the coronation?” 

Younghoon lets out a sigh. “We must make haste, Your Highness.” He turns around to look you in the eyes, his gaze softening as he does so. “Don’t worry, you’ll be able to see your betrothed before the wedding.” 

“I’m not used to traveling alone.” You pout, brow creased with worry.

“You won’t be alone, Your Highness. I’ll be there with you, every step of the way.” 

The sight of the small smile spreading across your face makes Younghoon feel like he’s floating. 

Never in his wildest dreams does Younghoon think he would ever kiss you. 

He’s been in love with you for as long as he can remember—ever since he was a child following his father around the palace, as pathetic as that sounds. So when you plant your lips on his in a spectacular display of affection in front of the innkeeper, his mind goes blank. 

The second you pull away, he wants to cradle your face in his hands and say, “Kiss me again. Let me do it right this time,” but he doesn’t do that. He’s frozen in shock, incapable of moving his limbs, much less producing speech. 

You chatter on, oblivious to his reaction. “We just eloped! As you can see, I can barely keep my hands off my lovely husband. Do you happen to have a room available?” You laugh, sending a wink in the flustered innkeeper’s direction. 

Younghoon tries to ignore the way his heart does somersaults at the sound of the word. Husband.  

“Y-yes, yes. You two lovebirds can have the room there, furthest down the hall,” the innkeeper replies, a bright red flush spreading to the tips of his ears.

“Thank you, sir!” You slide a bag of coins across the counter as he hands you the keys.

It takes a few seconds for Younghoon to recompose himself before following you down the hall.

“I’m afraid that wouldn’t be proper, Your Highness,” Younghoon says, avoiding your gaze. Kissing you was one thing, but sharing a bed with you is an entirely separate issue. 

Crossing your arms over your robe, you roll your eyes, exasperated. “Sir Younghoon, you are pretending to be my husband, are you not? What will the innkeeper think if he finds out we slept separately?” 

“I don’t have to leave the room, Your Highness. I can keep watch here just fine.” He gestures to the chair sitting by the bed. “Besides, after the show you put on outside, I think the innkeeper will be avoiding this room for the night.” 

With a sigh, you make your way toward Younghoon, stopping mere inches in front of him. When he opens his mouth to protest, you cut him off. “I don’t care about what’s proper,” you whisper—as if you knew what he was going to say—eyes lingering on his lips. 

Your fingers deftly undo the strap attached to the sheath of his blade before placing it down on the bed. Curling his hands into fists by his side, he tries to ignore the heat of your skin through the fabric. Younghoon can feel his resolve eroding away slowly as the dam he built to protect himself from his feelings threatens to overflow. 

All it takes is the tilt of your head for him to close the distance between your lips. 

Despite the years of yearning and want, the kiss is surprisingly gentle. Younghoon savors the moment, committing the feel of your lips to memory. His breath hitches when you thread your fingers through his hair, and he can feel your lips curl up into a smile. 

He falls asleep that night with one arm wrapped around your waist and the other resting on the hilt of his blade, tucked underneath the pillow. 

Despite the joyous occasion, the mood is solemn as you walk down the aisle. Your parents sit stone-faced in the front row, your father clenching his jaw with steely determination in his eyes. His expression makes one thing clear: this wedding is no celebration, only a means to an end. 

Younghoon keeps his eyes trained on the floor, unable to look at you. He knows he’s being foolish. He knows you were never going to marry for love—he’s known it since the day he met you. In his mind, the two of you are still in the inn: limbs tangled together on the bed, laughter echoing throughout the room, soft kisses pressed into skin. But that illusion shattered once you arrived at the palace and were met with the grim faces of the royal party. 

There was an attack, someone says. He doesn’t quite know who they are. The King and Queen are safe, but we must move quickly in order to quell the growing unrest. The wedding will now take place immediately after the Crown Prince’s coronation. 

Only then does Younghoon recall hearing whispers of rebellion passing through the villages.

“We have come today to join these two kingdoms in matrimony,” the officiant declares, his voice ringing through Younghoon’s ears. 

With an ache in his chest, Younghoon watches as you slip through his fingers, and out of his reach, for good. 

Younghoon thinks you’ve assumed your role quite gracefully, despite the circumstances. Whenever you step foot outside the palace, the people flock to you with adoring eyes and outstretched arms, praises spilling off their lips. In fact, some may say that they prefer you to the King himself because you seem to genuinely care about your people.

(Some may also say Younghoon looks upon you as if he’s gazing at the sun itself, as if you’re the one who brings light into his world.)

They say that, while you reforge the bonds between the two kingdoms and repair decades worth of damage, your husband squanders the kingdom’s remaining resources to crush any signs of dissent. It’s strange, the people remark, that despite all his efforts, he still hasn’t been able to find the rebels that attacked your family all those months ago. 

The nobility dismisses the concerns and chatter as mere rumors. Younghoon thinks he’s gotten quite good at picking out the ones with some truth to them.

The stone walls of the palace are cool to the touch as Younghoon leads you down the servant hallways, clutching your hand in the darkness. No one should be awake at this hour, save for a few guards, but he doesn’t want to take any chances—not with your life on the line. Even with the rough clothing you have on, he does not doubt that the staff would recognize you immediately. 

As the two of you pass through the kitchen, Younghoon tucks away a few scraps of food, mostly bread and dried meat, for the journey ahead. It’s a much quicker trip from your chambers to the grounds than he expects, and he hopes Juyeon has reached the stables in time to saddle your horses. 

“Younghoon, can you explain what’s going on?” you ask, lowering the hood of your cloak. He hastily puts it back up, but not before he catches a glimpse of the moonlight cascading across your face, highlighting your features in a way that makes his breath catch in his throat. 

“The King is going to kill you, just like he tried to kill your parents before the coronation. He’s been planning this for months. He didn't want to marry you for the sake of peace, he married you to create an empire. He’ll use your death to assume more power and go after his enemies,” Younghoon says, ignoring your wide-eyed gaze as he steers you toward the stables. “I’ve sent Juyeon and Hyunjae ahead to secure our safe passage to Prince Sangyeon’s kingdom.” 

“How—” 

“I’ll answer all your questions later, Your Majesty, but we must leave before he notices you’re gone.” 

As the two of you ride away under the cover of the night, Younghoon wonders if his actions affected the King’s plans at all. After all, he’s stolen you away and taken you to another kingdom. 

But Younghoon knows he’s selfish when it comes to you. He would fight a war for you, as long as it means that you would live. 

The sun sinks beneath the horizon as the boat pulls away from the harbor. Younghoon knows the King’s men are not too far behind, but he feels strangely at peace with you by his side. 

“You would make a good King, Sir Younghoon,” you whisper, intertwining your fingers together. 

Blushing at the casual touch, Younghoon presses his forehead against yours, his gaze soft and tender. “As long as I’m yours, Your Majesty.”

© bermudas, 2023. all rights reserved.

[warmau]

☆ ice-skater!au juyeon x holiday trade @bermudas  w: no plot just fluff (a little bit of angst?) | find my other tbz aus here

there’s something different about an ice-skating rink when it’s empty

the ice looks fragile because it isn’t scratched up and part of you has an irrational fear that if you step out onto it, it’ll cave and you’ll be pulled down into cold and still winter waters

a stupid thought, since the ice is fake, and this is an indoor practice space

but one that you told juyeon about when you first met him - well when you first met him in person - and that he had stared back at you with understanding in his voice when he said 

“oh, i’ve had that thought that too.”

since then, he’s said a lot of surprising things to you. 

things you don’t expect to hear from someone on the national team, things you don’t expect to hear from a professional athlete, and things you just don’t expect to hear from a person

but that’s probably a big part of why you like him so much 

“i found your size!”

you look up and see juyeon there, the smile on his face is calm and gives an overall warm feeling to the otherwise sharp lines of his face

the brown of his eyes is deep and welcoming, his hair pushed back by a red band you bought him to use during practice

he’s perfectly handsome and cute all at once (probably the other big part of why you like him so much)

you’re saddened to look away from his face and at the pair of skates in his hands

“oh - you know i don’t do well on the ice, juyeon.”

he takes another step down so that he can lean his knees on the bleacher seat below yours

he places the skates down and lets one hand wrap around your calf, large fingers drumming against you and making something small and electric run up your spine

“i’ll put them on for you?”

“it’s not that juyeon-”

you sneakily try to move your leg back, but he holds you in place gently, clear and innocent eyes making you almost feel bad for trying to escape

“i’ll be there with you - you don’t have to be scared of falling.”

“it’s not that either…”

the first time you actually saw juyeon was on your tv screen.

the national skating competition was on right after the evening news and you were busy folding laundry so you didn’t change the channel

halfway through your pile, the otherwise monotone voices coming from your tv had changed to a wave of high-pitched cheering

you looked up and suddenly on your screen was the face of the man that was kneeling in front of you now

it had been juyeon’s first time at nationals, but somehow a fanclub for him had already formed, their blurry faces in the back as the interviewer asked if he was nervous to be skating at this level for the first time

instead of the doe-eyed fear of a first timer or the uncharacteristic confidence to hide nervousness you expected to see

juyeon had just jutted his lower lip out in what looked like a kitten’s pout and shrugged his big shoulders

“i won’t really know until i’m on the ice i guess?”

you had been struck by the answer - and even the interviewer stumbled through their follow up - because it was almost too laidback

you had put down your folding to wait and see if that attitude was the same one he’d have during his performance

but when juyeon had started skating - he was a completely different person

gone was the almost absentminded expression and instead all you could see was passion and hard work

even though his actual skating looked so clean that it seemed like he was floating above the ice for most of his routine

you had been so shocked that you barely registered his winning score 

as soon as he came to a halt off the ice, the focused and precise look dimmed out and back was the sleepy smile from before

the interviewer scrambled up past his coach to go, “you didn’t look nervous at all!”

juyeon had blinked down at him and shook his head, “oh - but i really was!”

it had been one of those moments where you had seen the duality of a person on a big screen 

a week later you had nearly forgotten about it and not recognized juyeon when you bumped into him at your local park

under the big scarf and messy hair you had thought he was just a handsome stranger, then somehow in a tumble of destiny, you had ended up on a date and when the scarf came off there he was

the aloof, sweet smile - the relaxed way of talking 

“you’re lee juyeon - you just won first place at nationals, doesn’t that mean you’re on your way to becoming an olympic athlete?!”

running a hand through his hair, he’d shrugged his shoulders just like you’d seen him do on tv.

“i won’t really know until i’m offered the spot…….but you saw on me tv? that’s embarrassing.”

in the funny way the world works that is what happened - from seeing him on tv, to meeting him in person, to dating him, to being the first person he told when he did eventually get the olympic offer 

the two juyeon’s you had been so mesmerized by hadn’t changed at all 

both were equally a part of him, and both made your heart skip a beat

but sometimes you felt like you weren’t worthy of the juyeon that woke up before the sun could rise to get ready for practice

the juyeon that treated skating like another form of breathing

the juyeon that came home with new bruises on his knees and new pain in his back 

the juyeon that was, to everyone else in the nation, a star - a prized athlete - a manifestation of pride

meanwhile, you couldn’t even hold yourself up properly on ice, let alone understand juyeon’s undying loyalty to the sport

so when he’s in front of you, like he is now, trying earnestly to get you to come and enjoy what is the essence of his life you feel embarrassed and shy

but it seems to fly over juyeon’s head, as he unlaces your sneakers and helps you with the skates

you’re not good at saying “no” to him, mostly because he never asks for much, and before you know it you’re being lead out onto the ice

“really, you know i’m not good at this-”

you start but juyeon’s hands are warm as the tug you toward him slowly so that you can at least wobble a little bit away from the safety of the rink’s walls

“i don’t want you to be good at it.”

your eyes meet his and your brows knit together in confusion 

he laughs at your change in expression, mutters that you look cute, and continues to pull you toward the center softly

“juyeon, what do you mean?”

he stops and you bend your knees to try and stop too, but all you manage is to bump against his chest and he moves his hands from yours up to your elbows to hold you steady

he smells like your body wash when you’re this close and it makes you kind of shy

“i’m not asking you to be good at ice-skating, i think i’m good enough for the both of us.”

you roll your eyes at his little joke and juyeon turns himself around effortlessly so he can start skating backwards 

“i just want you to have fun with me.” 

he lets one of your arms go so he can use it to spin you into him

it’s not elegant like the way you’d see pairs do it, you almost buckle in fear of falling and make a yelping sound that gets juyeon chuckling and you curling in his sweater to hide your face

he nudges you back out and puts his hands around your waist - at this point just using his own body to pull you along around the rink

you still don’t really understand what he’s talking about

“but this isn’t just a hobby juyeon, this is your life - i don’t think it’s right for me to just come out here and be silly on the ice with you.”

he slows his skate and juyeon’s neutral, calm gaze turns just slightly hard

“it’s not my life.”

you feel his grip tighten on you

“it’s my job, but my life is my happiness and a lot of my happiness comes just from being with you.”

even though the two of you are talking to each other, it feels like his words echo over the entirety of the room

juyeon’s way of being serious doesn’t always come across to people 

to be honest, it took you a while to adjust to it too

but now you can tell when he’s speaking from his heart and you slowly start to understand

“it’s just that to me there are two of you, the juyeon that is the ice skater and the juyeon that is……not the ice skater, who is just my juyeon. sometimes i feel like i’m not loving the ice skater part of you the right way or that i never really will.”

you wait for him to say something, but juyeon just pulls you into his arms instead

then, unexpectedly, you feel him laugh against your hair

“j-juyeon?”

“that’s so silly.” he pulls back and presses his lips to the corner of your mouth “there’s only one of me.”

you don’t have a chance to answer as the doors open and you hear a flurry of children’s voices and the sound of skates and shoes flying everywhere

“it’s the morning class.”

juyeon skates you two back to the bleachers and ruffles the hair of some of the kids who jump up to his knee to say good morning

on the ice and off the ice, he’s as soft and as welcoming as you’re used to seeing him

and you guess, even these kids who look up to him, saw better than you

that the determination and skill he puts into his profession doesn’t somehow melt away that softness underneath

he’s their idol and he’s their friendly older brother figure 

juyeon sits down beside you and takes your legs into his lap, starting on the laces of the skates

you put your hands over his to stop him

“let me do yours this time.” 

“it’s ok, i like doing this for you.” he runs a hand up to your thigh and then under the hem of your shirt - cold fingertips on your soft skin

you swat him away and go “juyeon - there are kids everywhere!”

he tilts his head and gives a little nod of agreement, but the smile on his face doesn’t seem so apologetic

you lean against his shoulder as he undoes the knots one by one 

with the rink full of people, it feels less liminal and daunting

juyeon seems to have changed a little with all the bustle too. but he’s still the same juyeon at his core - your juyeon. 

you stand up when he’s done and you’ve slipped your sneakers back on

you put your hands on his shoulders and kiss him properly, letting the dazed expression you love blink up at you

“you’re right. there’s only one of you. the one i love.” 

he strains up for another kiss that you don’t let him get, turning your cheek to meet his lips

he curls a smile against your skin, “and there’s only one of you - the one i love too.”

[bermudas]

vanilla salt

↳ summary: the entire school thinks you’re in love with kim sunwoo, but only you and sunwoo seem to know that’s not the case. 

↳ prompt: “and i’m thinking that at this point, we’re so terrible that we deserve each other.“ 

↳ pairing: sunwoo x gender neutral reader

↳ genre: fluff, angst

↳ themes & tropes: friends to lovers, high school au, matchmaker au, implied love triangle?

↳ warnings: the word “damn” is mentioned once

↳ word count: 4.1k

↳ notes: if you understand what the title is referencing i love you <3 this fic is loosely based on toradora and was originally written as a birthday present for a mutual but life got in the way for me and then they deactivated… ira if u see this, this one’s for you!!! there’s also a brief tense switch in the second scene to emphasize that it’s a flashback, so i hope that’s not confusing either. 

[this fic has been reuploaded]

“So you and Sunwoo…” Eunbin pries, her face lighting up in curiosity as she peers around your locker.  

“We’re not together,” you say, exasperated, grabbing your lab notebook before slamming the door shut. 

“But you like him, right?”

“We’re just friends!” 

Before you can turn to leave, she pulls you back by your sleeve, leaning in to whisper in your ear. “I’ve never seen you exchange more than two words with Kim Sunwoo outside of class until last week. I’m your best friend and even I find it strange.” She pokes you firmly in the chest as if to further drive her point home. “You’re hiding something, I’m sure of it.”

You don’t know why the entire school seems to think you’re in love with Kim Sunwoo. Under different circumstances, you might’ve found the situation amusing, especially considering the person you really like is Eric Sohn, Sunwoo’s best friend, and the person Sunwoo likes is Kwon Eunbin, your best friend—the very same Eunbin who’s convinced the two of you are hiding something from her.

Then again, you and Sunwoo are the only ones who know the truth. That’s the reason why you’re in this mess in the first place.

The classroom was empty, lights dimmed and doors closed. You took one more glance at the hallway, making sure that no one else had come back from lunch early before slipping into the room without a sound. Your grip tightened on the note in your hand as you made a beeline for Eric’s desk, the edges of the envelope starting to fold under the pressure. Crouching down, you unzipped his backpack quietly.

“What are you doing?” a voice called out, causing you to jump up in surprise. 

“Nothing,” you squeaked, attempting to conceal your confession before the intruder could catch a glimpse of it. A hand shot out to grab your wrist, and with a sudden tug, you found yourself face to face with Kim Sunwoo, the star of the boys’ soccer team—and the school’s resident heartthrob. He plucked the piece of paper out of your grasp, a smirk on his lips. 

“What were you doing in Eric’s bag?” he asked, holding your letter in front of him.

“None of your business,” you snapped, snatching it out of his hand. Thankfully, he hadn’t even bothered to open the note, saving you from any future embarrassment.

Or so you thought.

When Sunwoo opened his mouth to speak again, you wished the ground would swallow the both of you whole, dread filling the bottom of your stomach. 

“Do you like Eric? Is that what that was? A confession?” 

“I said, mind your own damn business,” you hissed, crumpling the envelope in your hand as you turned to leave the room. 

“Wait! I think we can help each other out!” 

You stopped in your tracks, eyeing him curiously across the room. “What do you have in mind?”

“You like Eric, right?” Sunwoo didn’t even bother to wait for an answer, instead launching straight into his next point. “You know, I’m his best friend. I can set you two up.” 

“What’s the catch?” you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Well uh…” Sunwoo started, his voice trailing off as he sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, the tips of his ears turning red. “Do you know if Eunbin likes someone?” 

“Wait. You like Kwon Eunbin?” you exclaimed, despite Sunwoo’s frantic gestures for you to keep quiet.

“Do you have any other friends named Eunbin?” 

Your jaw dropped open in shock. Kim Sunwoo, who could have anyone he wanted at the school, was asking you, a virtual stranger, to help him win someone over? You almost laughed at how absurd it all sounded, half expecting someone to come barging through the door to tell you it was all a prank.

“Why do you look so surprised?” he questioned, brow furrowed in confusion. 

“To answer your first question, no, she isn’t seeing someone. I’m just surprised you asked, that’s all. You don’t seem like the type who needs advice on how to talk to girls.”

“She’s not just any girl! She’s your best friend!” 

“I’m sure you can manage to talk to her without my help.”

“If you help me, I won’t tell anyone about your crush on Eric. One best friend to another, deal?” 

“Fine,” you muttered, reluctantly shaking Sunwoo’s hand. “Just don’t tell anyone about what you saw today.” 

Sunwoo tilted his head to the side, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

By the time you head down to the cafeteria for lunch, Sunwoo’s already waiting for you, pulling out the chair next to him as you place your bag down. 

“Our class trip is this weekend,” he says.

“Eunbin thinks we’re hiding something from her,” you blurt out at the same time.

Sunwoo stares at you blankly. “We are hiding something from her.” 

“She thinks I have feelings for you!” you continue. “How are you going to ask her out then?” 

“Just tell her you like Eric! Problem solved!” 

You catch a glimpse of Eric out of the corner of your eye, quickly shushing Sunwoo as you fix a pleasant smile on your face. 

Eric places his tray down across the table from you, glancing up in your direction. “This seat isn’t taken, right?”

“Not at all!” Sunwoo chimes in. “I was just talking to Y/N about the trip this weekend. You’re coming with us, right?” 

“Sure, if it’s fine with you guys. I can always hang out with the baseball team.” 

“Don’t worry about it! Y/N’s planning on bringing Eunbin too,” Sunwoo insists, his face lighting up with a grin.

“I am?” you ask, earning yourself a nudge from Sunwoo’s elbow. “Oh yeah, I am!” 

“Oh, that sounds good then,” Eric replies with a small smile. 

Ever since your encounter with Sunwoo a week ago, he and Eric have become familiar faces at your usual lunch table, making themselves at home amongst your friends. Today, however, Eunbin is nowhere to be seen. 

She must be running late because of calc, you muse, stealing a fry off of Sunwoo’s plate.

“Hey!” Sunwoo protests, moving his tray further away from you as you make a face at him in return. “Get your own!”

“What are you guys up to?” Eunbin interrupts. Both of you turn around to find her standing behind you, her backpack left half open in her rush to get down to lunch in time. Sunwoo pauses, a blush starting to blossom on his cheeks, and you quickly step in.

“We were just waiting for you! You’re free this weekend, right? I was hoping you were gonna come on the class trip with us.”

“Sure, that sounds fine,” Eunbin responds, shrugging off her bag as she takes the seat next to Eric’s. 

“What do you think they’re going to do this year?” Eric asks.

“I don’t care as long as it’s better than last year’s trip,” Sunwoo offers, leaning back in his chair. “That sucked.” 

“Oh god, I remember that,” Eunbin adds. “It rained the entire time and we were crammed into the bus.” 

“It wasn’t that bad,” you counter. “At least we were dry.” 

“It was lame, Y/N,” all three of them say in unison, causing the four of you to break out into a fit of laughter. 

“Not that I mind hanging out with them, but since when were you, Sunwoo, and Eric a ‘we’?” Eunbin muses after school, stopping in front of her car to look for her keys. 

Taking a deep breath, you briefly glance around the parking lot, making sure you’re out of earshot from anyone nearby. “Ok, promise not to laugh,” you reply, recalling Sunwoo’s advice to you earlier that day. 

Eunbin sends you a confused look, a small frown forming on her lips. “I’m not going to laugh at you.” 

“Sunwoo’s setting me up with Eric.”

Eunbin pauses, her grip on the car door loosening as she whirls around to face you. “You like Eric?” she screeches, the words practically ringing in your ears. You wince, hoping no one was close enough to hear her. 

Lowering your voice to a whisper, you mutter, “Yeah, I like him, not Sunwoo.” 

“How come you told Sunwoo before me?” Eunbin pouts, throwing her bag haphazardly into the back as she climbs into the driver’s seat. “I’m your best friend!”

“It’s not like I wanted him to know!” you respond, shutting the passenger door closed. “He caught me trying to sneak a letter into Eric’s backpack during lunch last week.” 

“You were going to confess to him?” 

You wave your hands in front of your face, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Yes! No! I wasn’t going to put my name on it, think of it like a secret admirer.” 

“You must really like him then,” Eunbin murmurs as she starts the car, her eyes fixed on the rearview mirror. 

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“Let’s check out the haunted house!” Eunbin calls out, dragging you ahead of the group. Looking over your shoulder, you can’t help but notice how Sunwoo lags behind his peers, bending down to retie his already tied shoelaces in an attempt to slow you all down. 

While the rest of your group excitedly lines up in front of the venue, you wait for Sunwoo, nudging him gently with his shoulder as he passes by. “What are you worried about?” you start. “Nothing’s going to happen to you.” 

Sunwoo doesn’t respond, biting his bottom lip in apprehension. 

“Come on, let’s catch up to the rest of them. You don’t want to get stuck in the back, do you?” you tease, taking his hand in yours.

Despite your valiant attempts to maneuver Sunwoo towards Eunbin, it seems like fate has it out for you. As soon as you reach the rest of the group, Eric shouts, “Rock paper scissors to see who has to go in the back!”—prompting a chorus of groans to erupt around you. None of your friends seem to have any better ideas, though, which is why you end up having to endure the entire haunted house sandwiched between both Eric and Sunwoo. 

By the time you manage to make it out (alive, you might add, no thanks to the both of them), you think you might have to get your ears checked out later, especially with the amount of screaming emitted from the three of you two of them. Your heartbeat pounds erratically in your ears, and you can’t tell if you’re feeling the residual effects of the adrenaline rush, or if it’s because of the way Eric still clutches onto your hand like a lifeline. Next to you, Sunwoo practically falls to his knees in relief the minute he steps foot outside, taking a moment to catch his breath. 

“What took you guys so long?” Eunbin exclaims, pushing herself off the wall to help Sunwoo back up. 

“Sorry, we got separated! These two”—you gesture at the two boys at your side—”were screaming so much that even the workers started to get worried.” 

You don’t miss the way Eunbin’s eyes widen at the sight of your hand in Eric’s, your fingers tightly interlaced together. She winks in your direction, flashing you an inconspicuous thumbs up before she whisks Sunwoo away.

Seems like we didn’t need as much help as we thought we would, you think, watching Eunbin and Sunwoo dissolve into a fit of giggles as they wait in line to order their food. 

Eric clears his throat next to you, letting go of your hand as he glances in the other direction sheepishly. “We should probably get lunch soon too,” he says, interrupting you from your thoughts. “We don’t want to fall behind again.” 

A quick look around the area confirms his suspicions. It seems like most of your group has already branched off to get their own food, and while you can spot a few familiar faces nearby, you don’t feel like intruding. 

“Ah, we should… Does this sound alright to you?” you ask, pointing at the menu of a nearby food stand. 

Eric beams at you, his smile as warm as the sunlight on your skin. “I’m down for anything,” he replies, taking hold of your hand once more as he leads you to the line. 

Your gaze lingers on your hands. What does this mean? you wonder, attempting to quell the thunderous heartbeat in your chest.

Your phone clatters on the library table, cutting through the sounds of shuffling papers and clicking keyboards as you stare at Eunbin in shock. A few people glance up, surprised by the sudden noise, but thankfully, most of them don’t even bother to lift their heads from their work. Eunbin avoids your eyes, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

“Youngkyun asked you out?” you hiss, repeating the words she had uttered only moments before, making sure to keep your voice down. 

“Yeah,” she murmurs, taking the seat next to you. “We started hanging out after we worked on that history project this month. Right around when you and Sunwoo started hanging out.” She props her chin upon the palm of her hand, her cheeks flushed.

Ah, you do remember her mentioning his name before. It makes sense that the two of them grew closer while you spent more time with Sunwoo and Eric. It’s not like you expected her to wait around for you. 

Speaking of Sunwoo…

“I didn’t think much of it at first,” Eunbin continues, “but now, I think I like him too. ‘Kyun’s really sweet,”—the corners of her lips twitch up into a shy smile—”and cute.”

Both of you chuckle at that, and you lean in closer, silently prompting her to provide more details. There’s no denying that Eunbin cares about Youngkyun. Her face seems like it’s bathed in a celestial glow, even under the library’s harsh lighting, and her eyes shine like the stars as she gushes about him. 

Despite this, your cheeks feel heavy as you muster up a grin in her direction. You’re happy for your best friend—you really are—but why does it feel like you’re betraying Sunwoo? 

You spot Sunwoo in front of the school the next morning, his hands tucked into his pockets and the tip of his shoe scraping against the pavement. When he spots you walking through the gates, a broad grin breaks out across his face as he waves in your direction. 

Glancing briefly around the area, you pull Sunwoo aside, away from any possible eavesdroppers. You take a step back, making sure to maintain a good distance away from him, lest people get the wrong idea. 

You dread what’s about to come next. 

“I understand if you don’t want to help me anymore,” you mutter, eyes fixed on the ground as you avoid his gaze, guilt pooling in your stomach. 

Sunwoo takes a step forward, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

He probably hasn’t heard the news yet, you think, taking a deep breath. “Oh, um...”—you twist the strap of your bag in your hands—”Youngkyun and Eunbin are together now, so you don’t have to help me with Eric anymore since I can’t help you. I’m—”

Sunwoo shakes his head, chuckling softly under his breath. You stop mid-sentence, taken aback by his reaction. 

You don’t know how you expected him to act, but despite all of the possible scenarios that ran through your head the night before, Sunwoo still manages to surprise you. 

“Are you laughing at me?” you sputter, shoving him in the shoulder. 

Sunwoo catches your hand before you can land another blow, his grip light around your wrist. “That’s not your fault,” he replies, his gaze softening. “Besides, I’d rather see her happy. She’s my friend now too.”

“I didn’t know you were such a romantic,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. 

“Don’t worry about holding up your end of the deal. We’re friends, so I’ll help you anyways.”  He gives your hand one more squeeze before releasing it from his grasp, just as the bell rings. 

“I’ll see you at lunch!” Sunwoo calls out over his shoulder, turning back to head inside. 

“See you!” 

You glance down at the palm of your hand. What was that about?

“Is Sunwoo running late?” Eric asks, scanning your surroundings. The two of you are standing in front of a local cafe, both of your bags filled to the brim with textbooks and notebooks. With exam season drawing closer, Sunwoo had suggested the three of you meet up to go over notes and quiz each other—and yet, he’s nowhere to be seen. 

As if to answer Eric’s question, both of your phones light up simultaneously, text messages popping up on your screens. 

sunwoo: sorry i cant make it 

sunwoo: something came up w my sister

sunwoo: u guys can study wo me 

“He’s not sorry at all,” you mutter, your face heating up in embarrassment. Way to be subtle, Kim Sunwoo. 

“What was that?” Eric glances up from his phone. 

“Nothing!” you blurt out, waving your hands in front of you. “Do you want to head inside?”

“Sure. I mean, it’s not like Sunwoo was going to be that helpful anyways,” he jokes, his eyes crinkling up with his smile as he holds the door open for you.

While the two of you wait in line to order, Eric nudges you gently with his arm, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “You can go find us a table. Just tell me what you want, I’ll pay for it.” 

“You don’t have to!” you protest, fumbling through your bag for your wallet. 

He places his hand over yours, offering you a reassuring smile. “You can pay next time!” 

Next time?

In fact, there is a next time, and a time after that—and a time after that. Soon enough, you and Eric don’t even need to make plans, not when both of you regularly show up to the coffee shop at the same time each week, like clockwork. But as the weeks go by, you can’t shake the feeling that Sunwoo’s starting to avoid you. 

You shouldn’t think twice about how Sunwoo goes out of his way to push you and Eric together at every opportunity he gets. It’s a ridiculous notion—especially considering the nature of your relationship in the first place—but Sunwoo’s your friend now too, and you care about him. 

Maybe it is a bit strange that Sunwoo always seems to avert his gaze whenever your eyes meet, as if he’s guilty of something. Maybe it’s also strange that Eric no longer makes your heart race when the two of you are alone—at least, not like he used to. (You chalk that up to the fact that you and Eric have grown closer to and more comfortable with each other over time though.)

As much as you enjoy spending time with Eric, your days feel empty without Sunwoo’s presence at your side, even though your paths cross frequently in the halls and you exchange small talk between classes. 

(He smiles at you like nothing’s changed. It feels like there are oceans between the two of you, like the two of you are on opposite sides of a bottomless chasm held together by a fraying rope bridge. You can’t even fathom crossing it.) 

You miss him.

You miss Sunwoo. 

In hindsight, you probably should have realized that you have feelings for Sunwoo sooner. You should have noticed on your class trip, after you instinctively reached out to him in the darkness of the haunted house, holding onto him for comfort (both his and your own). You should have noticed when Eunbin tells you about her feelings for Youngkyun and your first thoughts are of Sunwoo’s happiness, not your best friend’s—nor your own. You should have noticed as Sunwoo rubs gentle circles onto the back of your hand in the school courtyard, even as he tells you that it’s ok that you can’t help him anymore because Eunbin has a boyfriend now, and he can’t control her feelings any more than you can. You should have noticed your disappointment every time Sunwoo blows off your plans so that you can spend more time with Eric, and you can’t bring yourself to admit that you would have rather spent time with him. 

There’s no epiphany, no eureka moment, no precise instant where the sheer force of your emotions barrels into you, forcing you to come to terms with your newfound reality. Instead, the realization trickles into you slowly, like water dripping from a leaky faucet: slow enough for you to compartmentalize it and save it for another day—until you can’t possibly ignore it anymore. 

You’re in love with Kim Sunwoo, and he still thinks you have a crush on his best friend. 

We need to talk,” you say, pulling Sunwoo into an empty classroom while everyone else heads down to the cafeteria.

“What is there to talk about?” Sunwoo responds, his voice flat as he leans against the door. “All you have to do now is ask Eric out. I’ve done all that I can do for you.”

With that, he slides open the door, slipping out of the room before you can get another word out.

So much for not letting the deal ruin our relationship, you think bitterly, your gaze drilling holes into his back as he turns the corner and disappears from your line of sight. Swallowing your pride, you run after him.

The staircase door slams shut, echoing throughout the empty hallway. You head towards the sound, your breath coming out in quick huffs as you pick up the pace, not willing to let this chance slide out of your grasp. 

As soon as your fingers graze the handle, the door swings open. You crash into Eric’s chest, his eyes widening in surprise as he grabs ahold of your shoulders to steady you. 

“Whoa there,” he says, grinning widely once he realizes it’s you. “I was just looking for you. Do you have a minute?” 

“Not right now, sorry. Have you seen Sunwoo?” you ask, craning your neck over Eric’s shoulders. 

“Oh.” You don’t know if it’s your imagination, but Eric’s smile falters a bit. He releases his hold on your shoulders, gesturing upwards. “I didn’t see anyone on my way here, but I think I saw someone heading up to the roof.” 

“Thanks! I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Don’t worry about it!” Eric shouts after you as you run up the stairs. 

Slamming the door open, you lean against the wall to catch your breath, scanning the roof for Sunwoo. When he sees you, he starts in surprise, taking in your disheveled appearance and the rapid rise and fall of your chest. 

“You ran after me?” 

“We weren’t finished talking,” you grumble. 

“But I saw Eric coming upstairs! I thought you would have talked to him instead. I mean, you like him,” he rambles, as if he still can’t believe the sight in front of him.

With a sigh, you push yourself off the wall, marching up to him. “Can we stop talking about Eric?” 

Confusion flickers across Sunwoo’s face briefly as he pauses, his response dying down in the back of his throat. 

“I want answers,” you continue, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “You said this arrangement wouldn’t change anything between us, that we would still be friends. But why have you been avoiding me for the past month? Please, Sunwoo, please just talk to me.” 

Sunwoo takes a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes meeting yours once again. “I’m selfish, that’s why. I don’t think I could have watched someone I cared about fall in love with someone else, even if I cared about them too much to interfere with their personal happiness. I thought putting some distance between us would make things easier. Clearly, I was wrong.” 

“You made me miserable, you know—” you laugh mirthlessly. A poignant silence hangs between the two of you. Your eyes trace his features carefully, committing him to memory in case you shatter what is already hanging by a thread. 

“—and I’m thinking that at this point, we’re so terrible that we deserve each other.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I like you, Sunwoo. Not Eric,” you reply, a shy smile spreading across your face. “We’re terrible at this matchmaking thing, by the way. I mean, look at how this turned out. We both ended up falling for each other instead of our best friends.” 

“I guess you’re right about that.” Sunwoo laughs as he takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. “I like you too, in case you didn’t know.” 

© bermudas, 2021. all rights reserved.

[bermudas]

𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖚𝖘

back to the main masterlist.

cravity.

maybe baby – kim taeyoung drabble | gender neutral reader, fluff, best friends to lovers, sharing a bed

we slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair

upcoming works.

[bermudas]

maybe baby

↳ prompt: 4. We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair (source)

↳ pairing: taeyoung x gender neutral reader

↳ genre: pure fluff

↳ themes & tropes: best friends to lovers, sharing a bed

↳ warnings: profanity

↳ word count: 687 words

↳ notes: i’m not gonna lie, this has been in my drafts for a year and was written during my immense taeyoung brainrot of august 2021 so at this pt i just want it out of my hands. honestly, i’m surprised i managed to write a drabble so quickly for a guy i only found out about, like, a week before (at the time). this is so self-indulgent that it hurts and i don’t expect anyone to read it (considering my blog is primarily tbz/svt), but if you do, thank you <3 again, my apologies for not being very active :( 

Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, you stare up at the hotel ceiling, indulging in the pleasant warmth surrounding you. You roll over onto your side, allowing your eyes to slowly flutter shut in an attempt to catch a few more minutes of sleep. Instead, you find yourself facing your best friend, his arm draped across your waist and both of your legs tangled together underneath the covers. 

As you attempt to detangle yourself from his embrace, Taeyoung’s fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt, drawing you closer. Your breath catches in your throat, heart beating erratically when he mumbles something in his sleep that you can’t quite catch. Your nose hovers a mere inch in front of his, so close that you can feel his soft breath tickle your cheek, and your brain turns into static. 

You’re not sure when exactly you started having feelings for your best friend, but you do know that once you realized them, you couldn’t help noticing the little things, like the lilt of his laugh or the crinkles in his smile. Glancing down at his slumbering form, you think it’s unfair that someone could possibly look this good in the mornings—and he isn’t even conscious of it! Maybe it’s the way his hair slightly sticks up on one side, or maybe it’s the because his shirt has ridden up to reveal a strip of tan skin above his waist—or maybe it’s the slow smile that spreads across his face as he rubs the sleep out of his bleary eyes, drinking in the sight of you like he can’t believe that you somehow managed to wake up next to him. 

“Good morning,” he murmurs, before promptly burying his face back into his pillow.

“Morning,” you respond, propping yourself up on your elbow. You reach out to prod him in the side, and Taeyoung groans in annoyance, turning his back to you. When you extend your hand towards him again, he grasps your wrist tightly, dragging your hand down to the mattress. Rather than trying to struggle against his grip, you press your palm flat against the surface, swinging a leg across his body and planting your knees on either side. Your free hand attempts to poke his cheek once more, only for him to intercept that one too. He tugs you forward, the sudden momentum causing you to tumble into him, chest pressed flush against his. 

Taeyoung loosens his hold on you and your heart jackhammers against your chest, eyes tracing over his features. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you breathe out before you can stop yourself, absentmindedly threading your fingers through his hair. 

Taeyoung gulps, eyes blown wide in surprise. He bites his lip nervously, gaze darting down to your mouth. 

“Fuck it,” he says, a soft blush dusting his cheeks as he reaches up and pulls you down for a kiss. 

His lips meet yours softly, gently, languidly. Taeyoung kisses you like he has all the time in the world, like he’s waited for this moment his entire life, like he has nothing left to lose. His kiss is a confession, pouring out every unspoken word, every unspoken declaration between the two of you. Taeyoung smiles into the kiss, the corners of his lips pulling upwards against your mouth, and you can’t help but mirror the action. 

(You wonder if there’s any way either of you could adequately define your feelings for each other using mere words. You don’t think it’s possible.)

He pulls away from you slowly, a hand reaching up to cup your cheek. There’s a tenderness to his gaze that makes you feel vulnerable, despite the fact that he’s the one baring his heart to you. 

Taeyoung hesitates briefly, teeth worrying at his bottom lip. “I love you.” 

The phrase is a familiar one, exchanged countless times between the two of you, but never like this. When Taeyoung says those three words at that moment, he says it as your friend, your lover, and your future, all at once. 

You rest your forehead against his, pressing a soft peck to his lips. “I love you too.”

© bermudas, 2022. all rights reserved.

[sichengtual]

the prettiest star, a playlist

“and the moon’s never seen me before, but i’m reflecting light.”

Keep reading

[byunbaekhyunie]

 181228 주연 @ 2018 KBS 가요대축제 Red Carpet

[wonwooridul]

Ep. Shadow: Vernon ✘ The Chronicles of Narnia // insp

[woozi]

seventeen as troubled birds (matt adrian, 2012)

[sankyeom]

hello! i’ve been getting into tbz recently, and i binged through all of your tbz works, and i loved them sm! esp “the c in ceo stands for cute” with younghoon, “pose” with sunwoo and “picture perfect” with kevin <33 they hold a special place in my heart now, your writing is so genius 🥰

but bc i’m kinda new to the tbz fandom on tumblr, i was wondering if you could recommend me some tbz gifmakers and tbz writers (no writers who write solely smut please! i’m still a minor,, but i’m fine with writers who write both smut and minor-friendly stuff, cuz i know i have the self-control to not read the smut HAHA) bc i’m currently in desperate need for more tbz content AKSHSH if you could help me, that’d be great, but if you can’t, that’s fine too !! tysm!

hi there! first of all, thank you so much for reading literally all of my the boyz fics it’s so crazy that somebody actually likes my writing enough to do that 🥹🥹🥹💛💛

i don’t have any particular people to recommend for gifs, i personally find all my gifs through searching the tags! i do follow many gif makers but i don’t know their username of the top of my head. i recommend #tbznetwork for gifs though! 💗

i can absolutely recommend some people, i have lots of amazing mutuals who write for the boyz! here are some: @stealerz @deobienthusiast @thepixelelf @fairyoftbz @honeycobie @sunlightwoo @mae-gi-writes @bbangsoonie @junjungsunwoo @viastro @cuppasunu @stealanity @uwu0clock (if i forgot you feel free to leave a reply saying that you write for tbz! 💗)

and here are some that i’m not sure if we’re mutuals but i like their work: @bermudas @cloudykyu @juhakx @jeongjaebae @lovelyunho @2hyunjae

i personally don’t read any smut so any of the writers i am recommending have some fics suitable for minors! that being said, please read warnings and descriptions because i haven’t read every single fic out there. enjoy!! 🦋🦋 ilysm toooo 🌷

[12loona]

[SCAN] LOONA 2022 Seasons Greetings - ViVi, Kim Lip, JinSoul, Choerry

© 틔티 (@gowon_only)

[leaving-fragments]

answer some questions about beauty and i’ll tell you when people see you (answer some questions about beauty and i’ll tell you when people see you)

[bermudas]

that's true!! but i doubtful that my editing abilities will give me something id like 😭 i stuck with my previous theme for a long while even though i tried editing a new one countless of times. ig i got sick of it and whipped up my current one out of nowhere and stuck with it

also the ice cream emoji is adorable 🥺 im so glad to be associated with it <3 how has your year been? i can't believe it's coming to an end so soon :(

well i'm sure you'll be able to find something that u like eventually! if not, this one is totally fine :D i believe in u <3

ikr... it seems like this year passed by super quickly. my year has been pretty good tho! it's had it's ups and downs but most importantly i graduated high school and completed my first semester of uni! tho i haven't really been active bc of that...

what abt you?

[bermudas]

i love fresh starts so much 😭 though, i think this is my first ever account where i don't want a fresh start. everything else ive deactivated and remade so many times

ALSO YES ID BE SO HONORED?? surprise me with one! idm any emoji :] its so incredibly nice to meet you 🥺

ahh i see... ig u could think of it as a pseudo fresh start then? like a new look for the new year!

hmm how abt 🍦? i think it's cute <3 and it's nice to meet you too !!!

[bermudas]

i ran to check ur theme on desktop THEYRE BOTH SO PRETTY PINK IS REALLY PRETTY WOW also thank you :( i may change it for the new year tbh

HAJHDS U DIDNT HAVE TO BUT THANK U AGAIN 🥺 also i feel that... it's always nice to have a sort of fresh start for the new year!!!

[bermudas]

i fell upon your account and saw ur theme IM IN SO MUCH AWE OH MY GOD ITS SO CUTE

ahhh thank you so much !!! i love your header btw <333