For the gays

This is an account for all my 9 to 5 business and any content I feel like making Matt (they/them)

[bernly]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

hello, it’s been sometime since i’ve written a fic and posted it but here u go ❤️❤️

[bernly]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

chapter one of a new story ! convenience store au !! take a read if u pls

[bernly]

Doralee: how long have you been sleeping with Judy?

Violet: what? that’s disgusting. and wrong. i don’t even get - why would - i’ve never had sex with anyone, anywhere. it’s none of your - you have the nerve, the audacity. Judy is my coworker, and she is terrible, face-wise. and how - how do i know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with her? maybe you are. maybe you’re trying to throw me off. hmm? check and mate.

[bernly]

Judy: You know, we have a confession to make. We made up those songs on the spot

Violet: Also we killed a man together six years ago in Nebraska

Doralee: We wanted to feel like god

[bernly]

Judy: What should I be for halloween?

Violet: My girlfriend.

[bernly]

Hart: I was expecting a battle of wits, but you appear to be unarmed.

Violet: YOU’RE MOM SUCKED ME GOOD AND HARD THROUGH MY JORTS!

[bernly]

9 to 5 characters + Troubled Bird Quotes

(ft. some alternate ones that i think fit our trio)

[bernly]

[the “Fuck Violet Newstead” club at consolidated, populated with men]

Hart: Welcome to the Fuck Violet Newstead club, where we all get together and say a big collective “fuck you” to Violet Newstead. But let’s say hello to our newest member, Judy Bernly

Judy: Um, I think I misunderstood what this club was about

[bernly]

Violet: Why are you helping me?

Judy: Because my life is a mess and I instinctively help others when I don’t know how to take care of myself.

[cowboyspones]

judy: so I heard you like bad girls

violet: ...and?

judy: well, not to brag, but this morning I ate 3 vitamin gummies instead of 2.

violet:

judy:

violet: I'll see you at 6.

[bernly]

Judy: Violet and I are going to be married!

Doralee: She’s asked you already?

Judy: Oh, she doesn’t know yet.

[pien-art]

so I may have made it Gay oops

(click image for optimal quality)

[bernly]

this is exactly how i wanted this life to go... and i am sO HAPPY... thank u

[bernly]

Judy: I didn’t think I would get the chance to give you this! Good job today! *puts a sticker on Violet’s shirt*

Violet: You’re giving me a sticker?

Judy: Not just any sticker! That is a sticker of a kitty saying “Me-WOW!”

Violet: I’m not a preschooler.

Judy: Fine, I’ll take it back.

Violet: *hiding the sticker away* Hey, I earned this. Back off!

[bernly]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

i keep writing things rly late a night for some reason... eh, here ya go ! i like this one

[bernly]

Joe: Why are Judy and Violet sitting back to back?

Doralee: They had a fight.

Joe: Why are they holding hands?

Doralee: Judy gets sad when they fight.

[bernly]

Violet: I’m a woman of action. You have to act first and learn to apologise later, like I do.

Judy: You never apologise.

Violet: Well, I would if I had ever been wrong.