Bernuviel's Blog

JM / ♀ / 30 / 🇨🇭 / Wannabe Digital Artist - in love with Don Broco & Mike Shinoda - occasionally posts about inspiring things, mental health, cute/funny animals and art advice - doesn't know how to use tags - really loves GIFs - expect rambling, random info dumps and reblog spams

[what-the-hyuck]

I'm not sure if this will come out right but:

Being loved is NOT a reward for being beneficial or useful in any way. You don't become less deserving of being loved if you aren't productive for a day or if you have a bad day and can't get out of bed.

I promise. Being loved has nothing to do with how you "help" the world or those around you.

[no-bullshit-noodle]

it’s okay if your autism makes everything harder. it’s okay if your autism makes you worse at most tasks. it’s okay if you need a support person (or support animal) for your autism.

autistic people deserve love, support, and kindness even when we’re difficult. even when we’re heavily dependent on others. even if we can’t work or can’t cook or can’t drive.

autistic people deserve to be loved and appreciated regardless of whether or not we’re “useful” or contributing anything incredible to society.

[autistic-af]

Me: *finishes conversation with someone*

My Brain: "Did we do that right? Did we people successfully? Do you think they noticed that was awkward?"

Me: *starting to get nervous*

My Brain: "I think they hate us now. They know."

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

Mood.

[anodetolocksmiths]

my room is just a cave where i keep memorabilia of my special interests

[mistress-light]

Zelda Breath of The Wild sequel | Spring 2023

[neurodivergent-noodle-deactivat]

shout out to autistic folk who get years into an obsession, and say “I don’t know why but I can’t stop thinking about this thing” …

my brother in autism, that is a special interest

[effervesece]

blog goals: making someone feel a little less sad

[theselfcarelifestyle]

The love of your life is not going to make you beg for their attention.

[autistic-af]

Source ~ TikTok @/purpleellaandcoco

Transcript:

If you're autistic or ADHD and are working on the process of unmasking this is for you. This is for if you've spent so long developing your mask that you don't actually know who you are underneath it, and when people ask you "just unmask", you don't even know how to do that.

So, what I am going to suggest is that you make a Document of You.

This is something that I did when I first started unmasking. It can be in any format but I've done mine as a digital drawing, because I love to draw.

So, this is my Document of Me. What I've got is a picture of me of how I see myself.

And when I first made pictures like this, I didn't actually look like this because I was still dressing to fit in with my age group and my perception of what a normal person in my situation would do. So, I drew myself exactly how I wanted to look, which is kinda how I look now.

And then, in this box here, I put all the things I genuinely like.

So, when I first started unmasking, I was aware that I was doing things to fit in. Like, I would go on shopping trips with my friends because people enjoy shopping and even though I got sensory overload I kept doing it because I felt that's what I should be doing.

Or, I would get massages because massages are relaxing even though I find the touch too much and I really don't like it.

So, I made sure that in this box I only put things that I genuinely know bring me joy, and I like them, I'm not doing them because it will make me feel like I'm more normal.

So, I like watching Marvel movies, and I like to go out with my friends and eat sushi, and I like listening to ghost podcasts, and I like to watch Doctor Who.

So, this is all the things I genuinely like.

And then in the last box, I put aspects of my personality that feel real, rather than anything that I'm doing, or was doing, to try and be like a normal person.

So, I'm analytical. I analyse the crap out of everything!

I am bold. I am on the internet sharing all my stuff. That feels pretty bold.

And also, I like to think that I'm funny.

Now, this section you'll notice is quite empty on mine because I didn't want to put anything that wasn't definitely true and I'm planning on adding to it as I learn more about myself.

And I found this a really useful exercise because it taught me to recognise what was and what wasn't the mask and as a starting point for working out who I am and therefore what I'm aiming to be able to be authentically more of the time.

I hope this is helpful for you, too.

[autistic-af]

Me: *barely manages to survive day-to-day life, gathering just enough energy to manage a full-time job before collapsing into heap behind the scenes*

Them: "So... You're high functioning." 🙃

[adhdtho]

how to make keep friends without the mortifying ordeal of staying in touch yahoo answers

[autistic-af]

*me, laugh-crying at this, because I haven't messaged my one friend in over 6 months, maybe longer because time has no meaning in this world*

[bemylova]

stop FUCKING telling people that no one will love them untill they love themselves. stop shoving this idea down everyone’s throat that they are unworthy of love because of their own struggle.

[maitrebee]

big difference between “healthy relationships begin with knowlege of and respect for yourself and your needs” and “others are literally incapable of genuine affection for you if you have depression”

[antidisneyinc]

when hayao miyazaki said that true love was two people inspiring each other to live…recognizing just how hard living is, putting one foot in front of the other every day, how easy it is to lose our passion for it…… that’s the real shit

[binghsien]

How to have a conversation about a topic you’re not interested in or don’t know anything about:

Listen to what the other person has to say about the topic.

Ask a question about what they said. Asking them to clarify or explain something you don’t understand is great, but any question will do. All else fails, ask them to explain what they like about some part of the topic.

Listen to their responses and go back to step 2.

Do this until 5-15 minutes has passed, then change the subject to a topic of your interest, unless you are actually interested in learning more on this subject, in which case, go on for as long as you like.

Sometimes, they will say something like “I’m sorry to blather on about [topic].” This is an attempt at a conversational dismount. You can either say “no, it was fascinating, thanks” and then bring up your own topic, or you can say “no, it’s fascinating, please keep going” if you want to keep hearing about their topic. Note the tense difference (past -> moving on, present -> keep going).

I just thought I’d write a script for this, because someone who can’t / won’t do this came up in a Captain Awkward column, and listening about topics you have no interest in is a really useful skill to have and not often explicitly taught, particularly to boys and men.

[tfw-adhd]

This is really helpful advice for people with adhd/autism because we’re often not great at social skills and holding conversations

[figofswords]

Stuck.

(it’s 2am, and according to your therapist, you have “a whopping case of ADHD”

[melancholycatastrophe]

[zackisontumblr]

do you ever sabotage your own free time? like wtf is that about? i want to play this game or read or do something specific but instead i will just stare out the window or scroll mindlessly???

[gaphic]

fun activities are still activities, they still require energy and focus. while this could be an executive dysfunction thing, it could also just be that you’re exhausted- sometimes you really have to do nothing for a bit!