It's Berry nice to meet you! @berryxlite - Tumblr Blog

Hi, I'm Berry!

TW: ed, cancer, trauma, and abuse. I have atypical an@, PTSD, Moral OCD, Depression, Panic Disorder, and ADHD. I also struggle with chronic illness as a cancer survivor and misc undiagnosed problems. Please do not continue on my page if you find any of these topics uncomfortable or triggering! I believe we are all deserving of recovery and I want us all to get better. If you are reading this and you are considering recovery - do it. There is a better life for you ahead.

That being said, I am back due to a whirlwind of stress in my life that I cannot cope with right now. I hope one day I get back to recovery, but unfortunately that's not today. This is a place for me to vent and use as a diary.

Fun facts about me:

I'm a Ph.D. student studying marine biology

I have a cat and a snake

I used to be a baker/cake decorator

I love all things sanrio and my aesthetic is "goth princess" according to my friends

I love reading, playing games, being outside, but most of all, Dungeons and Dragons (I'm a huge nerd)

Less fun facts (stats) about me below:

#New intro since it's been a while

bingeeaterbaby

for someone who struggles with food so much you'd think i'd be skinny by now

I have to write a list of my moral OCD obsessions for my therapist and I was like idk if i'll be able to think of that many and I now have 30 written down. It's strange to see how many thoughts I thought were normal are actually ocd

tutarsizsuratsiz-deactivated202

rempetal

sverate

pururinpuke

Hard boiled a bunch of eggs and prepped my coffee for tomorrow. Im trying to get used to drinking black coffee (ive always hated it) so im doing half the creamer I normally do. Poured 2 tbsps into a to go cup and popped it in the fridge. Look at me go

kietai6

Just watched a video of a girl saying "Don't equate ✨νϊηg yourself with losing ωεϊghτ. Your body is smart and knows how not to dϊε. Your body will start to shut down and it can cause you joy to lose any whatsoever bc it'll be like you're going to ✨νε me"

I mean. You're gonna lose. you'll fuck a bunch of shit up in the process, but if you don't εατ you will inevitably lose.

I agree with the message to not try doing it as a sustainable method, but you will lose.

I need to figure out how to plan meals to cook for me and my bf that look kinda normal. Luckily we only eat dinner together a couple times a week.

I also cant buy my staple safe foods because he knows that's a sign things are bad. Like if I walk in with rice cakes he will know immediately.

Today's log:

I just realized that every time I've tried to recover, I r3lapse in under a year.

I'm so tired of being sick but I can't stop

Went to lunch with my bf and his family today. Managed to get these veggie tacos that were just sautéed veggies on a corn tortilla. Im proud of myself for managing to keep it low cost

My bf is busy tonight so he also wont notice what I eat for dinner

Yep the wl is officially slowing down which is sad 😔

Torn between restricting more or metab day