Out of all the things in everything, which one... is best?
It's a question we sometimes ask and never need to know the answer to. And finding answers no one needs is precisely the role of the tumblr tournament poll!
Thing submissions currently closed.
Frequently Asked Questions
How does this work? Tumblr users can submit a thing via ask, and the thing will be tried against the other things one by one in random order. 1v1 polls will determine which of each pair is better.
Won't that make way too many polls? Oh yes. If we do ALL the polls of the round robin, there will be a number of total polls equal to the square of the number of things that tumblr users can think of, minus that number, all divided by two. That's pretty many. Or perhaps zero. It depends on if this blog gets traction or not. This blog got some traction.
Sooo do you have a solution to that problem? We'll probably discard things that lose all their polls, or enough of their polls, or something like that. They can go on a "not that good" list that will grow over time.
It sounds like you haven't really got a plan. That's not a question!
Why not do a regular single-elimination bracket? We like round robin tournaments better! They're a more reliable way to find out the true relative quality of things. Plus we can have rolling submissions this way.
What kinds of things can be submitted? Submissions should:
1) be a thing. It can be abstract or concrete, alive or not, all are accepted. Examples include "doughnuts", "the letter M", "orgasms", "the Engraved Hourglass Nebula", "being a wizard", "fresh wizard meat cooked over an open fire with a rosemary dry rub", and more!
2) be something that a typical tumblr user could plausibly be familiar with. So "cats" is fine but "the cat that is on the lap of tumblr user fake-example-person" is not. It also can't be "your mom" or similar because that referent changes depending on the answerer. If you're getting specific, make sure it's something the voter could look up. If it's fictional, please include a brief indication of its origin.
3) be good. Or at least not bad. We are trying to find the best thing, so submitting "transmisogyny" or "smallpox" or whatever isn't going to be accepted. We also won't accept anything that it would be fucked up to apply a value judgment to, like a demographic of people or something like that.
4) not be a fandom thing. There are so many other tournament blogs for those, and they bore me. No fictional characters, works of fiction, films, shows, franchises, songs, video games, musicians, writers, actors, etc. Less specific options like genre or medium are allowed. For example, "Sherlock Holmes" or "A Study In Scarlet" or "Arthur Conan Doyle" would be disallowed, but "detective fiction" is allowed. Something that's fictional but not from a specific source, like "wizards", is allowed. (Some of these are going to be difficult edge cases and they will just be judged by my gut.)
What do I need to send in my ask? You can just include the thing itself, but if you wish you may add explanation about what the thing is and/or propaganda in favor of it being the best. These will be included with the poll. Unless I forget, which I usually do. These will not be included in the poll because it creates a significant amount of fuss when adding polls to the queue.
What if the options are two very different levels of specificity on similar subjects? Vote with your heart. Is more specificity better or worse?
Why are you pitting two bad bitches against each other? It is our calling.
What determines whether you include a Wikipedia link on a poll? Our finely tuned reference-inclusion criteria consider such factors as an average person's familiarity with the thing, whether we feel like it (it makes the post take longer to write) and whether we remember to (remembering things is hard). We do try to post a link for both options if one is included for either, though this is not always possible.
You sound familiar. Are you some other gimmick blog? We have the distinguished honor of being the same person-posting-as-if-she's-an-organization as the prestigious @meme-conservation and the elegant and insightful @bad-time-analogies!
I'm mad (and not in a fun pretend way) about one of the options getting votes when I hate it and/or strongly prefer the other. In fact, I think that people liking this thing may be What's Wrong With Society. May I annoy you and/or others by ranting in the notes about it? No. This may get you blocked.
I'm not mad about it but I think one of the things is bad and therefore violates the rules. What gives? I'm not going through a careful ethical evaluation of every thing. Sometimes I remove one that was previously accepted; sometimes I don't. If people are constantly pestering me about which things get accepted, I will stop having fun and this blog will cease. You will therefore have to tolerate some inconsistencies.
Can I submit my orientation, gender, or other essential element of my identity? No. That would be fucked up (see above). Do you want to find out that most people prefer frozen yogurt over your identity?
I'm upset with how you handled my submission in some way. That's not a question! Perhaps "running a gimmick blog and handling people's submissions in a way they don't like" is the real Best Thing.
I have a different question. Perhaps you should ask it instead of waiting for us to anticipate it!
