i got married this past weekend!! i’ll be around this coming weekend!!!
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@bestjanet
i got married this past weekend!! i’ll be around this coming weekend!!!
@demonicarchitect // ‘ get up . we’re going to save the world . ’
janet is already up, but that’s because she doesn’t technically sleep. so she bings herself into michael’s presence at the call --- lips purse to hide a blossoming smile. she loves this. adventure. she loves a lot of things, in fact. but adventure? especially one forged to save their friends? amazing. top notch. 10 out of 10, janet would ( and does ) recommend. ❝ ready when you are, michael! ❞
*accidentally stares at crush for 20 mins*
okay, amigos. this is it. the final countdown. Less Than Ten ( 10 ) Days until I’m Married. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do still and to coordinate and so the next week or two will almost exclusively be mobile bound. feel free to im or mutuals can reach me on dics*rd or wire ( for the muses that have it ), but expect me to be slow otherwise !!
Okay, not perfect, but the pros outweigh the cons.
Bonus:
Janet from The Good Place is my favorite Janet of all time.
john mulaney: kid gorgeous → sentence starters
slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!
❝ Let’s change the subject! ❞
❝ This is a weird conversation and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.❞
❝ Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world. ❞
❝ Ah, none of us really know their fathers. ❞
❝ I was sitting over on the bench. ❞
❝ You saw what happened and did nothing! ❞
❝ Sometimes, he was gay. ❞
❝ When he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work. ❞
❝ I never talked to my dad about that but I figured I’d tell you. ❞
❝ Freebasing is the greatest orgasm known to man. ❞
❝ I’ve been sober now two weeks. Well, weekdays, not weekends. ❞
❝ What was so funny? I wanna know. ❞
❝ None of that matters but it’s important to me that you know that. ❞
❝ Phonebooks don’t leave bruises. ❞
❝ Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money! ❞
❝ I thought I’d be dead in a trunk by now. ❞
❝ You spent it already?! ❞
❝ Where’s the money? ❞
❝ I lived on cigarettes and alcohol and adderall. ❞
❝ Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep? ❞
❝ That’s illegal! They tricked me! ❞
❝ I paid 120,000 dollars for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t!❞
❝ If it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep-shirt. ❞
❝ Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? ❞
❝ Jokes don’t do well in court. ❞
❝ I’m in the phase right before Old. ❞
❝ I am damp all the time. ❞
❝ I am gross. ❞
❝ UGHHHHH – you know, life. ❞
❝ I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room. ❞
❝ I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason. ❞
❝ Let’s just not see each other for eight months and it doesn’t matter at all. ❞
❝ I was raised to be nice to everyone in every situation because you never know their story. ❞
❝ A lot of people don’t seem that nice and they seem to be doing fine in the world. ❞
❝ Not everyone thinks the same things are nice. ❞
❝ Famous people are weird as shit. ❞
❝ Your suspicions are correct. ❞
❝ I say ‘knock-knock’ out loud.❞
❝ The world is run by robots and we spend most of our time telling them we’re not a robot. ❞
❝ Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.❞
❝ It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time. ❞
❝ I try to stay optimistic even though things seem to be getting a little sticky. ❞
❝ I don’t remember that in Hamilton. ❞
❝ I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. ❞
❝ What do you think they’re celebrating? ❞
❝ I wasn’t raised catholic and I’m fucking glad I wasn’t because it’s a fucked up organization. ❞
❝ That should be the slogan of the catholic church: It’s an hour! ❞
❝ God can’t hear you. ❞
❝ First of all, get out of here with your facts. Just ‘cause you’re accurate doesn’t mean you’re interesting. ❞
❝ A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened. ❞
❝ These meaningless politeness rules! ❞
❝ I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. ❞
❝ My wife is a bitch and I like her so much. ❞
❝ I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change. ❞
❝ I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff. ❞
❝ Brush your teeth! Now boom, orange juice! That’s life. ❞
❝ College is a $120,000 hooker and you’re the idiot who fell in love with her.❞
❝ STREET SMARTS! ❞
❝ He could look at a child and guess the price of their coffin. ❞
* bing !!
@indelicateloathing // ‘ i can’t just call her in the afterlife and be like , ‘ can you please stop playing tennis with hitler for a moment and take a quick call ? ’ ’
❝ i think it’s interesting to note : hitler is definitely not playing tennis so much as he is trapped in a hail of infinite tennis balls being launched from those tennis ball launcher machines directly into his face. ❞ a pause, finger in the air to emphasize her incoming point-of-fact : ❝ but, if you would like, i can dial in a favor and get her on the phone for you. ❞
@arizonadirtbag // ' i bet you're loving this, hm? the team at its best. just like old times. ' / team cockroach 4eva
❝ yes. ❞ a simple response paired with a small smile. stress aside – who created that anyway ?? – janet is living her best life. literally. but her reboots weren’t the main matter at hand. and running a neighborhood to this degree? it’s… a lot. her smile falls, strained expression working its way to the forefront of her facade. — ❝ eleanor… ❞ head tilts, lips pursed, but all at once janet decides that her friend probably doesn’t need to be burdened with the doubts lingering. trying their hardest to insert themselves where they don’t belong. a breath ( that she definitely doesn’t need ) and a softer smile wins out. ❝ you’re a great architect. ❞
( * & . — THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SENTENCE STARTERS .
‘ you’re are depraving some village of their idiot . ’
‘ i miss you . i miss you every day that i’m not with you . ’
‘ i didn’t think it was possible to miss a person this much . ’
‘ if you love music then you’re in the right place . ’
‘ the ties that bind you together make you stronger than you are alone . ’
‘ i can’t just call him in the afterlife and be like , ‘ can you please stop playing tennis with hitler for a moment and take a quick call ? ’ ’
‘ get up . we’re going to save the world . ’
‘ it’s not spandex , it’s leather . and you used to like it . a lot , if i recall . ’
‘ we can accomplish anything when we accept responsibility together . this is what creates trust . ’
‘ you never know when to stop , do you ? ’
‘ you got enough material for your sequel yet ? ’
‘ i bet you’re loving this , hm ? the team at it’s best . it’s just like old times . ’
‘ he hated children too and he had plenty of us . ’
‘ if you believe in yourself , just once , great things are gonna happen for you . ’
‘ i know that i let you down , but i could do anything for you . ’
‘ you know , i liked you a lot better before you got laid . ’
‘ oh yeah , it is your skirt . i found it in your room . it’s a little dated , but it’s very breathy on the … bits . ’
‘ you’re the most important person in the world to me . ’
‘ best . funeral . ever ! ’
‘ sometimes men are unredeemable shits . ’
‘ we were … we were just kids . little kids . ’
‘ we all came home . since we’re here , we might as well save the world . ’
‘ i’ve decided you’re the only one i can trust . ’
‘ if you’re raised to believe that nothing about you is special , if the benchmark is extraordinary , what do you do if you’re not ? ’
‘ eternal peace is probably overrated . ’
‘ we all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love . ’
‘ one grows used to things , even if , sometimes one shouldn’t . ’
‘ look , you wanna pay your respects ? go ahead . but at least be honest about the kind of man he was . ’
‘ you of all people should be on my side . he had to send you a million miles away . that’s how much he couldn’t stand the sight of you . ’
‘ i feel like we should stop him , but then again i also just kinda wanna see what happens . ’
‘ you make me want to wake up each day and you’re in my dreams every night . ’
‘ you also told me that licking a nine volt battery would give me pubes . ’
‘ i’m just gonna go murder mom , i’ll be right back . ’
‘ last time we tried to stop it , we all died . what makes this time any different ? ’
‘ we actually have the chance of saving the lives of billions of people . ’
‘ it wasn’t his fault ‘cause he was ridiculously high , right ? and the girl , she thought he was a furry … ’
‘ i think maybe you’re the only person who really knows who i am and still likes me anyway . ’
‘ you don’t get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself . ’
‘ we didn’t choose this life . we’re just living it . ’
‘ than christ he’s not our real father , so we couldn’t inherit those cold , dead eyes . ’
‘ you don’t have to apologize just for existing . ’
‘ when something seems to perfect , it’s usually anything but . ’
‘ all the what - if’s start to haunt you . ’
‘ i’m done playing their games . i’m ready for a change . ’
‘ i would love to play cops and robbers , wear a mask , and feel important , but guess what ? recess is over . it’s grown - up time . ’
‘ we have a great job . the best job . we got it made , asshole . ’
‘ people still don’t take me seriously . i wanna be numb again . ’
‘ i stayed because the world needed me . ’
‘ at least i make my own decisions . ’
‘ i have been left out of everything for as long as i can remember . ’
‘ nowhere to go . no way to change . ’
‘ but now , i know nothing in my life was real . so i’m starting over . ’
‘ you do whatever it takes to survive . or you die . ’
‘ i don’t belong anywhere , thanks to you ! you made me a killer ! ’
‘ i’ve done unimaginable things , things you couldn’t even comprehend , just to get back here and save you . ’
‘ she needs our help and we can’t do that if she’s locked in a cage . ’
‘ i mean , it must be scary . terrifying , really . to discover that you can do something that you never thought you could do . ’
‘ it’s not difficult to accept , it’s impossible to accept ! ’
‘ what are you still doing here ? we’re trying to have a serious conversation . ’
‘ what’s going on with you ? and don’t tell me everything is alright because i saw you in there . you were crying like a baby . ’
‘ you saved my life ! ’
‘ i don’t want them to see me like this . besides , you know , i’d just hold them back . ’
‘ how about we ask him after we kill him ? ’
‘ maybe they’ll brood each other to death . ’
‘ you’re a real sick bastard . ’
‘ would you stop it ? why are you putting this shit in your body ? ’
‘ he must have been a very special person to put up with your weird - ass shit . ’
‘ you were my greatest disappointment . you only scratched the surface of what you were capable of . ’
‘ i lost someone . the only … the only person i’ve ever truly loved more than myself . ’
‘ you know , before you kill him , you might want to hear what he has to say . ’
‘ we all came home . since we’re here , we might as well save the world . ’
consider: janet in a meme phase.
you don’t tug on superman’s cape you don’t spit into the wind you don’t pull the mask off that old lone ranger && you don’t mess around with jim !! ( written by alex ).
est. august 2019. semi-selective & slow. non-roleplay blogs DO NOT reblog.
me remembering I have a Janet blog? hmmmm.
What if The Good Place was an animated show? Here’s my take on Team Cockroach!
JANET KICKIN BUTT AND TAKIN NAMES
Janet being the cutest nerd!
Bonus: