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@bethanyui
Do I want to be active here again? I feel lost online.
I am just so tired
Between migraines and colds, I have been ill since 2018.
Cute husby had surgery.
I fucking love my life
Baby Peach comes from a vernal pond, but dreams of moving to a big river! Sheâd probably get eaten though.Â
Someday, I will kill myself.
The mashup you never thought would work
Congratu-fucking-lations.
I would pay so much to have this as a ringtone Iâm not even joking.
Why?????
The face I made while listening to this was so visceral I had to draw it before reblogging it
@sillygooseface TORI IâM CRYING PLEASE LISTEN
Well. That was indeed a thing that happened.
@lindsayetumbls @elisaintime @nellachronism
(Wouldâve been better with a different version of POTO but itâs irrevocably stuck in my head soâŠeh.)
Polly is pregnant.
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Old man is link in the future
Polly is pregnant.
Everything Wrong With Gothic Lolita:
To start off, Iâll be brief and say that I like gothic lolita, no, more like I love it. What I donât is where it has gone in the so-called lolita communities.Â
Oh yeah, I also should probably state that iâve been into gothic lolita for a good few years now.
That being said, letâs get down to business with some things a lot of gothic lolitas need to know (especially the new ones).
                 Everything Wrong With Gothic lolita
1)Â gothic lolita fashion is not about feminisim or modesty:
If youâve ever been interested or even really into gothic lolita fashion, youâll often hear a lot of âoh itâs about feminism!â and âitâs about a woman being modest!âÂ
It seems like the very lolita communities who attempt at portraying such an image as this are in fact doing the very opposite.
If lolita fashion was really all about feminism, then why are all the skirts supposed to be knee-length, the shoulders are just about never allowed to be shown, and socks must always be worn, etc., etc.???? You can make up all the excuses you want, but thatâs just plain old-fashioned body shaming right there. If you need an example of body shaming, also try looking at our school dress codes (at least, here in America). Letâs see, they say about the same thingsâŠ.bottoms must be a certain lengthâŠ.shoulders must be coveredâŠ.huhâŠgee thatâs starting to sound like lolita.
some might say that this is the âmodestyâ piece of lolita fashion. Um. Honey. There is nothing modest about dresses with prints on them that can be seen from outer space.Â
2) Lolita fashion must be knee-length/you canât show shoulders/ etc.:
again. this is body shaming. Every body is different and the same shape doesnât always flatter every figure. Not everyone likes these rules either, and should not be forced to wear something the same way that everyone else does just so that they can call it âlolita fashionâ without being stamped as an âitaâ (in short, wannabe lolita in case anyone doesnât know what that means). As long as you keep to the aesthetic there really are no rules like skirt lengths or shoulders being hidden and such.Â
3) When lolitas take photos of themselves and ask for âconcritâ:
wait wasnât lolita fashion about feminism?????? But if it was about feminism, wouldnât that mean that you are not dressing for a man? You would then be dressing for yourself. So riddle me this, then why are you dressing for other women if you are supposed to be dressing for yourself?? In short, dressing for a man or a woman is wrong. Itâs your clothes, you buy them, so why are you letting others tell you what to do with them. If lolita fashion wants to be seen as real clothing and not a costume, then it needs to be shown as worn every day without the permission or approval of others just like any other article of clothing which you may put on.Â
4) Lolita fashion is not cosplay/you should keep your anime out of lolita:
okay, then answer me thisâŠ.if some of these lolitas want to keep anime away from lolita, then why do a lot of these same lolitas go to anime conventions?????? Dude, go away. You donât belong there if your going to act so against anime and lolita coexisting together.Â
oh yeah, and there is a thing called cosplay lolita. Generally frowned upon by most of the lolita community which is kind of sad. Plain and simple.Â
3) lolita communities creating drama is a myth:Â
oh no. Itâs a fact. Probably about to stir up some right now, but hey, someoneâs got to say something about these problems *attempting to find shrugging emoji*
5) You canât wear cat/animal ears in lolita fashion:
yes you can. This is just a stereotype that lolitas somehow took literally.
6) you canât wear headdresses in lolita:Â
wait why not? Because they wear it in anime too???? Thatâs not a very good reason. Is it because itâs out of style? Even if it were out of style, thatâs still not a very good reason to make it a rule.Â
7) Getting involved in your lolita communities is a great way to meet other lolita friends and be a part of a community and all that Jazz:Â
Um. No. Itâs a blood bath. Unless of course you want someone to tell you how to dress and then get angry when you donât dress the way they wanted you to.Â
This is why the lolita community has become so sad. Itâs a bunch of women at the top who are completely vain and self-absorbed with themselves and take lolita like itâs some sort of religious dress code. Causing those to feel unwelcome who may bring new or innovative ideas.
Not only that but on a less concerning note, who wants to go to a museum with a group of people just to do nothing but take photos of yourself and talk about clothing all day long? Look clothes are fun and selfies are tooâŠ.but that gets so boring so fast. Besides, you can do that at your house, so why did you drive all the way to the museum??????
8) you canât buy from eBay/Amazon/Aliexpress etc. You must buy from only Taoboa/Indian/Chinese/Japanese brands or second hand or Bodyline:Â
-second hand is sometimes more expensive than first hand so no.
-Try actually searching eBay. Once you find some good keywords that work, you can find anything from ugly unflattering lolita dresses to lolita dresses that are being sold from Taoboa brands to just about anything. Iâve actually found better dresses on ebay than I ever would on Bodyline.Â
-But if you reallllyyyyy hate eBay, thereâs amazonâŠ.and Aliexpress (if you really hate those three options as well) then try lolitawardrobe, devilinspired, and glitzywonderland (which also has an eBay store aside from itâs main store but if your on this option, you probably are not interested.)
9) the unfortunate truth. We donât even know where the word lolita came into this fashion:
all weâve done is come up with âlikelyâ theories. A theory isnât a fact. So without knowing where or how the word came to be used in this fashion, how can be proclaim that we know for a fact that lolita fashion was never meant to be some sort of sexual concept but got changed as the meaning of the word got lost in this fashion?
10) âitâs not about the bookâ:Â
This phrase right here bothers me about lolita communities. As much as lolita fashion may not be about the book, itâs the fact that they continue to repeat this phrase and beat this into people so much that itâs becoming overused. I get that this is important, but this phrase is being said to the point where it sounds more like a chant rather than just stating a fact. Kind of like how people repeat certain phrases in a church service that they will repeat every Sunday in unison. However this is just something thatâs been noticed, not a fact. Itâs certainly something thatâs becoming very wrong with lolita though. As mentioned above, we donât even know where the word âlolitaâ came from to begin with in this fashion.Â
look, no matter what you do, wear, say, or just about anything you can think of, people will judge you. If repeating this somehow makes lolita communities feel safer because they feel like people will recieve them in a positive way, itâs not always true. You can tell people itâs not all the book all you want, but that doesnât mean that they will believe or not think badly or you in some way, shape or form. If your going to be so worried about what everybody thinks of you, then you might as well not wear lolita and slap on jeans and a t-shirt. Yet even then, people are going to judge you.
Conclusion:
gothic lolita is a very frilly doll-like fashion which partly derives from the victorian and rococo eras. Some styles are more childish and cute, while others remain more mature, sort of old-world European influenced.Â
in short, lolita fashion is obviously fine and always fun to wear, but we need to take a step back and look at some of these things we are told when entering into this fashion. Iâm no exception. I used to be a preacher about lolita myself, proclaiming it âwasnât about the bookâ and was âthis rule and that ruleâ. It took me some time to realize that fashion is so much more diverse than what these lolita communities are teaching people and that to an extent, the communities were almost occult-like to the point where you were forced into the rules rather than creating your own ideas and thought processes. If you need evidence about the whole thought process thing, just go on youtube or read an article that some lolita wrote and youâll quickly see just how similiar and sometimes robotic their summaries and views on lolita fashion are because they all are practically the same summary or speech put into different words.Â
So have fun wearing lolita fashion! and donât confine yourself to rules that someone simply made up if you donât want to.Â
alright iâm gonna break this down because itâs one of the worst things iâve seen in a good while, and since i like dispelling misinformation
also the fact that you feel the need to clarify that youâve âbeen a gothic lolita for a good few years nowâ yet you donât understand the very basics of the fashion or community is pretty suspicious, ngl.
1) yeah, it is about being modest. you call a women choosing, by her own volition, to dress modestly âanti-feminist?â shaming a women for wearing the clothes she wants to wear doesnât seem very feminist of you. also, iâm not sure why youâre comparing the school dress code to lolita. lolita is a street fashion that we wear as a choice. we donât face potential punishment by authority figures for not adhering to it.
also frankly the biggest reason iâve heard from lolitas about why they wear lolita is that it makes them feel beautiful and like a real life princess, and yet youâre shaming them for that. i donât get it.
2) again, how is it âbody-shamingâ if the lolita chooses to wear the clothes herself? iâm really confused. also, now more than ever, brands are accommodating for women (and some men!) that donât fit the asian âmoldâ of a petite, flat chested woman. there are resources out there for tall, busty, muscular, as well as plus sized lolitas. custom sizing, adjustable straps and lacing, and underskirts and shirring
3) how dare a woman ask for advice on how to improve her outfits among her peers. how dare she attempt to become more skilled in a fashion she cares about.
4) lolita is not anime. anime has often influenced the public opinion towards lolita in a negative way (sexualization of ~lolis~, anyone?), however it is a common hobby for lolitas to partake in. also, hate to break it to you, but a lot of lolitas go to anime conventions because theyâre fun. shocking
cosplay lolita isnât an actual branch of the fashion, you do realize? the reason itâs often looked down upon is that a) lolita isnât cosplay or a costume b) oftentimes a âcosplayâ lolita âcoordâ is cheap and tacky and done by inexperienced nerds.
5) the community does have a lot of drama. but literally every other niche community has drama in some form. however in the lolita community itâs often amplified by the tight-knit nature of the community, the high financial stakes of the clothes themselves, and the attitude among newbies like â~lolitas are supposed to be lovelies!!! qq~â when they forget that weâre literally just normal people in weird clothes.
6) brands have released animal ears, iâm not sure where youâre getting this from. i mean unless you canât tell the difference between a beautifully crafted pair of angelic pretty cat ears from a dollar store cardboard pair, which in that case is unfortunate
7) lolita isnât a bloodbath, jesus christ. if you just act nice and dress decently youâre gonna make a lot of friends.
also âmuseums are uninteresting, this is something thatâs wrong with the lolita community as a whole!â
8) second hand can be more expensive than first hand, yes. if youâre wanting an extremely sought after piece. (puppet circus, iron gate, gloria, etc.) iâve heard of girls getting brand pieces for >50 dollars or less. donât buy from ebay or amazon. first, thereâs the incredibly real possibility of getting scammed. second, most of the clothes themselves are ugly, tacky, and cheaply made. third, as a fashion, lolita places heavy emphasis on beauty and skilled craftsmanship, and youâre just not going to find those on amazon or ebay.
9) itâs true that we donât know where the moniker âlolitaâ came from. some theories include;
- lolita was just a cute word that the first girls in japan liked. remember that the name doesnât have the same implications as it does in the west.
-the name lolita is a nickname for girls named dolores. dolores meaning âweeping lady,â coinciding with the heavy religious themes present in gothic lolita as well as visual-kei.
10) iâm not even sure what to make of this? what are you trying to say? that because the word lolita has unfortunate implications in the west, lolitas are allowed to be judged? what? also, the fashion really isnât from the book, just so weâre clear. it was derived from the visual-kei movement and the idea of nonconformity in japan, a society placing notoriously extreme value on conformity. come on, man.
-
in conclusion, no. as a burgeoning lolita myself, i fear for the state of the community if people keep parading these misinformation around. do your research, please.