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@bethaven
I've learned so much because of you and you're a big part of the reason that I'm shining
Watched Heartstopper Forever the second it was released this morning. Haven't cried this much at TV-stuff ever. Tears of joy, grief, pride and gratitude. Heartstopper has given me so much and I'll always carry it with me in a special little place in my heart.
Thank you!❤️
We're in Heartstopper month. And I might not be afraid anymore.
This spring leading up to the double-sided ending of Heartstopper has been tricky for me. I've basically been, to a certain point, avoiding all things Heartstopper because it hurts too much. Everything just made me cry and grief. I dived into Heated Rivalry, both because I really liked it, but honestly also because it was an escape from loosing Heartstopper. Dramatic, I know.
Coming into this very special Heartstopper month I've sort of turned a corner. I rewatched Heartstopper seasons 1-3 for the first time in a long time and was reminded of how much and why I love it so much. It's like coming back home.
My volume 6 book arrives next week and in just over two weeks I'll cry my eyes out over Heartstopper Forever. But I'm ready for it now, ready to say goodbye and store it directly in that special place in my heart where it will be, forever.
I finally managed to write AND publish a fic. And in less than three hours?! A productive trainride, indeed✏️🚂
Anyway, head over to Ao3 to read this little oneshot about Troy and his mum. Loved writing it! Promise there's more coming further ahead
🤵♂️🤵♂️🍎🌈
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
love like there's no ending 🥲
Before my life had Heartstopper, Heated Rivalry, Red, White and Royal Blue or Young Royals it had Don't ever wipe tears without gloves. It's not smutty, it's not romance or even a happy ending. But it's a very important depiction of a terrible, forgotten time in Swedish queer history. And I'd recommend each and everyone of you to see it.
Can't wait for the musical to premiere this fall. It made me rewatch the series for the first time in years and it reminded me of how important this is.
HEARTSTOPPER FOREVER, july 17th on netflix!
soooooooo
july 17th! :)
Heartstopper, The Ark - and the meaning of the word forever
It's been a few days since the last Heartstopper update dropped on saturday. I definitely needed some days to reboot and reflect to be able to gather my thoughts around this. But now that I have, there's one thing that's stuck with me.
Forever. Taste that word. Say it a few times. Heavy, right? It contains a feeling of safety, stability, maybe also a bit terrifying. For me, it's a promise. A promise that things will be ok, whatever the future holds. Hear me out.
15 years ago I was in a similar mourning as I am now. I know, mourning sounds so dramatic, but if anyone of you ever been through a similar thing you would probably get it. The band that had been my whole life since the age of 11 (I was 19 back then) had recently announced they were gonna split up, after a final tour that upcoming summer. The Ark was not only good music for me, it was my soundtrack, my therapy and the way in which I'd met most of my closest friends. I couldn't and can't describe in words how important they've been. Dealing with that breakup was hard. I'm glad I had a lot of friends to share it with because we all had to figure out who we were in a world where The Ark wasn't active as a band. This, at an age where you’re very much busy with figuring out who you are as a person and what you want with your life.
"But I know that what we've built could last forever. Forever. Forever."
Forever became the mantra of the tour that summer. It was the band's promise to us that this wasn't the end, there are still good times ahead and that they would always be with us. It was also the promise to ourselves to carry on the legacy that was now given to us. This was the only comfort we had when the last show was over and we all were laying in a pile on the curb outside Gröna Lund in Stockholm, not knowing if we'd ever get to see them again. But somehow, I think we all knew it might not be the end of everything, but definitely the end of The Ark as we knew them.
9 years later I was in my dad's apartment getting ready for a political science seminar, when a friend of mine sent over a video which declared that The Ark were going on a reunion tour. I cried. We were given the gift of another summer. The tour of 2020 turned into the tour of 2021 which eventually turned into the tour of 2022 (and you all know why) and it was one of the best times I've had in my life. I got to relive the golden days, while being older, more mature and not the least more financially stable. I went to 9 shows that summer, and loved every one of them.
As of now, I'm getting ready for another summer of touring. The Ark have released new music and going on tour. It's back to basics, back to the roots. They're not the same band we left back in 2011. But they promised forever, and here we are.
Screenshot from a recent groupchat with some The Ark friends. We still use this word as a powerful sign that we're here for each other, and always will be, in some form or other.
So, back to Heartstopper. During the last few months I've basically had a lot of the same feelings as I had for The Ark back in 2011. There’s an end nearby, I hate it and there's nothing I can do about it. Heartstopper has been a huge part of my life during the last three years, probably equally as important to me as a 34 year old as The Ark was for me as a 19 year old. The series, the comic and the whole Osemanverse have helped me through one of the hardest times in my life and it was my steady anchor in a rough storm.
When it was declared that the upcoming movie was gonna be named Heartstopper Forever I cried, because it was so perfect. It's exactly what it is, Heartstopper's ending, but it's also, forever. If nothing else, it became clear with Alice letter after the last page:
We know that Nick and Charlie are gonna leave us after this, but they're also always gonna be there. We'll have the book, the series, the never ending fanfics and each other. And you never know when Alice posts a mini comic or illustration again. This isn't the end, after all. Because Heartstopper will be there forever.
Bi-waffles anyone?🏳️🌈
Yesterday was the last update of the last chapter of Heartstopper. Now we only have the epilogue left. And it hurts.
When I started to read the updates on a regular basis almost three years ago it was a pivotal part of me moving forward through the shittiest period of my life. The updates every tenth day made sure there was always something to look forward to, even on the worst days. I don't think I've realized until recently how important that was. There will always be escapism in some form to make it through the hard times, but I'll sure miss this specific one.
I loved the ending though. It was very Heartstopper. Pure joy and love. Nick and Charlie, back to basics. And I especially love how Alice handled the issue with involving the plot and timeline of the novella.
I can also recommend to have a friend like @1mnobodywhoareyou in this, who willingly read the update before me to prepare me😅❤️
2 days until the final episode of chapter 8! Wednesday's update will be going up at 3pm UK time (4 hours later than normal) because I have an appointment that morning and I want to make sure I'm around when it drops
12 days until the final update of Heartstopper 🥲
This is me everytime we get any Heartstopper-related these days:
"Just because you were born into a small world doesn't mean you don’t deserve a bigger one"
- Nan - Heartbreak high s3 ep8
spider, walking down the halls bracketed by lesbians, with cinematic parallels to the gay montage from kath and kim, set to all the things she said by t.a.t.u.... life is worth living.
Game Changer books - ranked
Oh yes I, as every other decent person on this planet, am deep into the Heated Rivalry cult these days. Series, books, edits, fanfics, deeply nerdy discussions - give it all to me! I've been deep into so many other cults by now that I know that there's no idea to fight back. This is my life now and I might just aswell let it be.
Most days these days there's a Rachel Reid-book in my ears during my daily wherabouts. Yes, also during work hours. I know them pretty well by now, so I thought it was time to share my thoughts. Here w go.
It will be a bit spoilery, but not a lot.
(all plot-descriptions are cut from Adlibris)
6
No. in series: 3 Main couple: Ryan & Fabian Plot: Pro hockey star Ryan Price may be an enforcer, but off the ice he struggles with anxiety. Recently traded to Toronto, he’s determined to make a fresh start in the city’s dynamic LGBTQ+ Village. The last thing he expects to find in his new neighborhood is a blast from his past in the fabulous form of Fabian Salah. Review: Honestly, I wasn't that impressed by this book. Both Ryan and Fabian are interesting characters, but it's also a bit of a snoozer, I struggled to keep my focus in a way I didn't have to with the others. It's still an important part of the series though and I like the representation these two stand for.
5
No. in series: 1 Main couple: Scott & Kip Plot: New York Admirals captain Scott Hunter takes his pregame rituals very seriously. When a particular smoothie precedes Scott's breaking his on-ice slump, he’s desperate to recreate the magic…and to get to know the sexy, funny guy behind the counter. Review: Sorry to all the Skipers out there for putting Game Changer this low in the list. But, i do have an inexplicable problem with these two and how their relationship evolves in this book. I can't really grasp weither I think it's partly problematic or not. Either way, this book didn't catch me in the same way as the books further up the list.
4
No. in series: 4 Main couple: Eric & Kyle Plot: Veteran goaltender Eric Bennett has faced down some of the toughest shooters on the ice, but nothing prepared him for his latest challenge—life after hockey. It’s time to make some big changes, starting with finally dating men for the first time. Eric is more than happy to learn anything Kyle brings to the table. And Kyle never expected their friends-with-benefits arrangement to leave him wanting more. Happily-ever-after might be staring them in the face, but it won’t happen if they're too stubborn to come clean about their feelings. Review: This was the one book I was most surprised about liking. The premise of a slow-burn-age-gap-story didn't really thrill me at first and this was actually the last book I choose to read. But it grew on me, I really liked getting to go inside Eric's brain and experience all his thoughts about the changes in his life. Kyle is also a very interesting, double-sided character that I really hope to see more of on screen.
3
No. in series: 2 Main couple: Shane & Ilya Plot: Boston Bears captain Ilya Rozanov is everything Shane’s not. The self-proclaimed king of the ice, he’s as cocky as he is talented. No one can beat him—except Shane. Publicly, they’re enemies. Privately, they can’t stop touching each other. Review: First and foremost, this is honestly probably the most important book in the series. It introduces us to the couple with a big C. Shilya is the only couple who have that extra challenge of being 1: both hockey players and 2: also rival ones. This makes for an even more interesting story than the others, and probably why we love them so much. It's opposites attract in the most obvious way ever. These characters are created with a lot of love and concern for their authenticity. I can also see a lot of development in Rachel's writing from Game Changer.
2
No. in series: 5 Main couple: Troy & Harris Plot: Troy just wants to play hockey and be left alone. He definitely doesn’t want to “work on his online presence" with the team’s peppy social media manager. Harris doesn’t give up on people easily. Even when he’s developing a crush he’s sure is one-sided. And when he sees Troy’s smile finally crack through his grumpy exterior… That’s a man Harris couldn’t turn his back on if he wanted to. But being together behind closed doors is one thing, and for Troy, being in a public relationship with Harris will mean facing off with his fears, once and for all. Review: This has become my first and foremost comfort-listen-audiobook. Troy and Harris fast became my second favourite couple in this book series and I keep coming back to them for feelgood. I really feel for Troy, his regrets, self hatred and will to do better for others. I'd want Harris as my best friend, the person I can call anytime to gossip about anything. Them together makes me all giddy and happy. Can't wait to see these two on screen, but that also comes with a bit of worry, because I like these two so much and it's important that it's done well.
1
No. in series: 6 Main couple: Shane & Ilya Plot: Ilya is sick of secrets. Shane has gotten so good at hiding his feelings, sometimes Ilya questions if they even exist. The closeness, the intimacy, even the risk that would come with being open about their relationship…Ilya wants it all. It’s time for them to decide what’s most important—hockey or love. It’s time to make a call. Review: Oh, I don't even know where to begin here. First and foremost, I'm a sucker for sequels. I really like to see what happens next, when the main rolls have landed together and need to learn how to deal with real life. That's probably why I prefer series to movies. The Long Game has this, but it also evolves the characters we meet in Heated Rivalry. It's said that this is Ilya's story, but to be honest I find it just as much Shane's. We get to dive deeper into the minds of both our favourite guys, but in different ways. It's a whirlwind of emotions, in the most fascinating and heartwarming way. And the end, well, just gonna tell you it's all worth it!
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Bonus - Rachel's other books
As you probably know, Rachel have published two more books apart from the Game Changer-series, and off course I dove into them too. With, I must say, very different reactions.
The Shots You Take was honestly just a long spiraling anxiety attack for me. I had a really hard time accepting Adam and Riley's relationship and it was the first time I really didn't want the two main characters to end up together. I actually cheered for them not to. By the end of it I just felt...empty, and torn apart. But I imagine it's a gift for you who look for something a bit darker in Rachel's books.
Time to Shine, on the other hand, has become one of my favourite Rachel-books. This is a true feelgood, wholesome story about two young hockey players conquering the world together. It's in no way only sunshine, but it kind of takes place in a world that's a bit less complicated than the one we're living in, and that's refreshing. Landon and Casey are so cute together and good for each other. It's also nice to get a depiction of a hockey player who struggles a bit more for his career than the other characters in Rachel's books.
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Now I, like all of you, can't wait for Unrivaled to arrive (in only 433 days, but who's counting...). It keeps me afloat during hard days. The sunshine is coming.
Until then I'm doing the Rachel READ, which is so much fun!
Ilya calling Shane by random the names of random objects in Russian is so funny to me. Like imagine if I (a Swede🇸🇪) would call my North American partner random IKEA furniture names.
"My sweet little Kallax"📦🪜
Listening to The Shots You Take audiobook while anxiety is slowly spiraling was probably a bad idea.