Whoever reads this.. I hope you're doing okay 🌸

[mielnah-deactivated20220722]

this blog is my diary it’s my sketchbook it’s stuff on my bedroom wall it’s a pdf it’s an unpublished novel it’s a collage. it’s all of these things

[somekindofblur]

Why is it that once you start getting better, you start missing the nothingness?

[sanegreen]

just a girl in her room trying to forgive herself

[folkloregirlfriend]

minimalism is cool but have you ever had all the things you love in your room

[somekindofblur]

Being around here makes me feel a little less lonelier.

[mple-selhnhh]

What part of your morning routine takes the longest?

Finding the will to live.

[iwas-handpicked]

i generally feel fine, other than wanting to die all the time.

[somekindofblur]

Wo ladki mil jaye toh kehna

[somekindofblur]

I now know that the only reason I want to be rich is to spoil my family and friends with everything they want.

10.09.22

[somekindofblur]

It takes time to fill the gaps where once a lover used to reside. To fill it with yourself. You first take up new activities and then you take up avoidance strategies. Anything that would help you relieve that hollowness. After a while the reality hits and you have to face it. You come face to face with that emptiness and with no other option but acceptance you cry for the first time. You cry and bleed on everything around you. You live like a walking corpse and try understanding everything you're feeling. You don't have any other option but to bleed while healing.

I've only reached this level as of now. I wrote this to make sense of this process of healing. To understand this myself that I am actually moving forward and even though this isn't linear, I just know that I'm getting better at living in this mess.

[somekindofblur]

My journey has begun

[somekindofblur]

Mental breakdown number 1

I just needed to cry...which I did. Now I'm fine.

[somekindofblur]

My head feels like it'll explode any minute and I'm not even scared

I still have to go on with the day and do the work

How fucking cruel!

[somekindofblur]

Screaming won't help at this point! I need to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[somekindofblur]

At this point I don't even know if I want to achieve anything. There's too much noise inside my head and it is hard to live with it.

[2armsnaheartbeat]

[valentina-poem]