“I am, shit, I am so under the influence, Beth, I am under so much fucking influence. I know, but please don’t be, I swear I would have totally shotgunned with you, too, I just thought at least one of us should be sober, and it had to be you, because I- nope. God, no, I would not be standing here right now if I was sober.”
“Damn, would now be a bad time to tell you I just snorted some coke in the bathroom? Guess we’ll have to reschedule.”











