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@bethxsullivan-blog
“I am, shit, I am so under the influence, Beth, I am under so much fucking influence. I know, but please don’t be, I swear I would have totally shotgunned with you, too, I just thought at least one of us should be sober, and it had to be you, because I- nope. God, no, I would not be standing here right now if I was sober.”
“Damn, would now be a bad time to tell you I just snorted some coke in the bathroom? Guess we’ll have to reschedule.”
“i think they’re the best kind of thing you know, like imagine a little pug called paul or a yorkie called terry. i think a dog named turtle would take the cake.”
“But what if you meet a guy name Terry and he turns out to be a real jackass, wouldn’t that tarnish the name a little? There would also be the added benefit of confusing the hell out of people when they realize you don’t actually have a turtle.”
“Well, it’s me, so yeah, a pretty big one actually. Can margins even be big? I literally have no clue. Fuck, I’m already messing this up.”
“As much as I’d love to discuss the size of margins with you what I really want to know is are you under the influence? I mean damn, I’m a little insulted that you never shared.”
“well i wouldn’t say they were amazing but they’re not awful either, so maybe i’m on a slight slope of naming. i normally go for generic normal names because what’s not cute about a dog named paul ?? that’s awesome though, i’d so name a cat dog if i got one. but i dislike cats.”
“See, I couldn’t do that because I always associate those kind of names with people I know and generic dog names are so silly. You could always get a dog and name it cat or better yet name it turtle.”
“That escalated rather quickly. I probably wouldn’t die, just have to get my foot or possibly amputated. And I think I may have signed something that prohibits me from suing MTV if I get hurt while I’m here but I didn’t read it very well so I’m not too sure. You, too. That wasn’t so hard, I dunno why I put it off for so long.”
“Okay, maybe death is a little steep but if you do get your foot amputated you should invest in a peg leg and while you’re at it throw in an eye patch, start a new fashion trend called pirate chic. Shit, for all you know you might’ve signed away your soul to MTV. Cautionary reasons, perhaps? For all you know I could’ve been a crazy stalker murderer and you can never be too careful when it comes to giving out your name.”
“That’s the last time I text while walking on the beach. Next time I could step on something worse, like a zebra mussel or a lobster. That’s probably because I forgot to introduce myself, but now I did. Your turn, I think.”
“You’d probably end up getting it infected and quite possibly die, so yeah, no texting while walking on the beach. I don’t want my vacation to get cut short because your family sues MTV and cancels the show. See, that makes more sense, I knew there was a reason I didn’t remember because usually I’m awesome at remembering things. I’m Beth-- Nice to meet you, again.”
“i will, and i’ll think of a cool name for him and he’ll be the best pet ever.”
“How good are your naming skills? In fact next time I get a pet I should let you name it, I suck at names. When I was little we got a family pet, a cat, and I was pissed because I wanted a damn dog so in an attempt to make me feel better they let me name it. I named it Dog out of spite but mostly because I wasn’t original enough to think of anything cool.”
“We should. And, erm, and I have to. I think.”
“You think, which means there’s a margin for error. Correct?”
“I need- ummm…I need to talk with you. To you. We should talk.”
“We should or we have to?”
“this was before, and since i did i’ve been too busy to settle and stop.”
“Right well maybe you’ll get a turtle sooner or later.”
“Well, I’m sorry. But it could have been worse, I’m sure. Yeah. It’s a bit rough no matter what. Especially if you don’t have a feeling for how the other person will react to what has to be said.”
“It could’ve, yeah. What did we all get ourselves into? This whole thing is crazy, I mean there was a reason we never said things in the first place. Now we all got to bear our souls on television.”
Nicola Peltz for Jalouse Magazine 2015
“well that’s just who i am, full of useless facts and knowledge. meet my parents and the how will become instantly clear.”
“Didn’t you say that you moved out?”
“Oh no. Did you have a bad trip getting here? Ha, yeah, I guess it depends on why you’re here. I’m hoping it’ll be more enjoyable than miserable, y’know?”
“It wasn’t bad but it was nowhere near as enjoyable as your flight sounded. It probably will be, you know, once you get past the whole reason for being here to begin with.”
“Please don’t let that be my legacy, it’s a year later and I still feel bad. I don’t blame you for forgetting though, I’m not exactly the life of the party. Maybe I’ll do something more memorable this year, although that’s highly unlikely.”
“It’s too late, kid, It’s already your legacy. It’s not that you weren’t memorable but more due to the fact that I didn’t know you all to well besides the famous sandcastle incident.”
“Bless getting a first class ticket to Rio. Free drinks the entire flight and I got one of those awesome seats that turn into a full bed. But I also got to meet some fans on the flight which is always nice. Anyway, I’m excited to be back. What about you?”
“Lucky, that sounds like a much better plane experience. For now maybe but I’m sure that will change in a few days, possibly a few hours.”
