I absolutely adore your blog, always my go to for my whumpy needs. I would love a genuinely mental illness guy with erratic behaviour have an intervention and subsequently hospitalised with genuine caretakers. Of course with all the restraints and drugging.
It had been raining for days. Raining and raining and raining. Even in his dreams now. He had been having dreams about drowning.
…So maybe nightmare was a better name for what was happening.
He hadn’t been going to classes lately either. The emails were adding up in the inbox, texts too. He would respond eventually, just not now. Not now. There was too much to do.
And there was just so much rain. He couldn't breathe.
One shrouded morning, or early night? There was a knock at his door. He’d been ignoring those. He ignored this one too. But it got louder, more insistent. There was a voice too. Yelling at him to come out.
He went to his window, suspicious and annoyed. Outside there were police officers. One was still yelling.
They were here to arrest him? It had to be it, why else?
They finally realized what he was working on was important. Inconvenient. So very inconvenient. But this was inevitable, he knew.
One glanced over to the window and spotted him, then the rest did too. He darted out of view, heart racing. They were coming to get him, the recognition in their eyes was clear enough evidence to support the conclusion.
He ran to the back into the kitchen and didn’t bother to put shoes on or change his dressing gown for a slicker. Instead bursting out to the back garden and into the downpour. Taking the gate would surely mean being spotted so he knew he’d have to go over the wall. He began to scale it but suddenly, heart stoppingly, there were hands on him. Holding him- dragging him down.
How had they pursued him so quickly?
“Leopold! You’re not in trouble! Just calm down, we need to speak with you!”
He writhed and fought, he tried to land a fist on any of his attackers but they were too strong, they pulled him down and pinned him to the ground.
“He’s not going to go without a fight.” Someone grumbled.
“Tell ems we’re gonna need their help. This one’s a case alright.”
Now he was surely going to drown, they were holding him down, the grass was soaked, sloshing. They were going to kill him. He began to fight harder.
“Leopold, calm down! We are here to help, this is a wellness visit!”
They knew his name.. if they knew that what else did have filed on him?
They kept speaking but he was consumed with trying to free himself, even as it seemed more impossible with every second of their unrelenting pressure.
Suddenly something sharp bit him. He cried out and he- he became slower, sluggish. God, they poisoned him.
“Leo, buddy. The medic just gave you a sedative, it’s going to help you calm down so we take you to a good place. A place to help you.”
Hands were heaving him up, he wanted to fight but it was all gone. He could barely squint to keep the rain out of his eyes.
“He’s a mess,” A casual officer commented, “Pity who’s gonna have to clean him up. Can smell you a mile away through the rain too, christ almighty.”
“Doesn’t feel like he’s eaten in months- good thing his friends called-” A voice next to him said in light reply.
“Alright lads, comments to a minimum, he’s still awake. Let’s get him to the car.”
They loaded his dead weight into the back seat of a car and two people sat on either side of him. He absently noticed they were covered in mud too. And his feet were bare. Why didn’t he have any shoes on?
Then suddenly he was being lifted out of a car. A woman was saying his name. Where were his shoes?
He woke very slowly. The first thing he was aware of was something in his nose. He tried to rub at it but his hands were caught on something, and one of them stung when he shook them harder, fighting what was holding them, panic constricting his throat.
“Leo, dear- Leo, calm down now” A face appeared above him, lined and warm, but clearly concerned.
“Whea-” He tried to demand answers, but all that came out was a slur.
“It’s okay honey, you’re being taken care of, you’re getting help- You can relax,” She reached out to hold his face and terrified he jerked back, only to be met with a downy pillow blocking his retreat.
“He’s gonna need more haldol, gonna pull out the tubes otherwise…” A different voice said out of view.
He was crying again and couldn’t breathe. This had to be a nightmare.
“Oh- it’s okay honey, I know this is frightening but you’re okay,” A hand was passing a syring to the woman in his eye sight, “I’m just gonna give you something that’ll help, you’ll be okay-”
Oh my god, she was going to poison him, that’s what the needle was for, she’d jab it right into his heart while he was pinned here!
But instead she… she went to a hanging bag of liquid and injected it into there instead… He didn’t understand- he didn’t-
“Your friend called local services, they were concerned about you. Said you hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks, didn’t seem to be eating or sleeping either. The officers were simply stopping by on a wellness visit. Do you understand why they had to bring you here?”
They had him pinned again, tying him down like an animal. How could he speak to someone like this? Let alone someone with manufactured sympathy with an act to distract him from what was really happening.
“Leo do you understand why the police brought you here?”
He glared at the woman in the worn out polyester suit, “No- I don’t know! This can’t be legal!” Tears were threatening his bleary eyes again. He had been brutally kidnapped but his captors only wanted to speak in hushed voices and practiced looks of worry.
“You were severely dehydrated, incredibly emaciated, probably not eating on a regular schedule for some time now. You were dangerously close to perishing if the police hadn’t intervened. And these are just the physical implications.”
“I was fine.” He grumbled without looking at the woman.
“Leopold, at the moment, with the information we have, we have to treat this as a psychotic episode, some of my colleagues would describe it as a ‘break’. Do you know what that means?”
“You just want me to think I’m insane- you all do. I was on the brink of something very important before I was kidnapped and brought here to be tied down and drugged. I-“
“What were you working on?” She redirected, crossing her legs and smiling slightly, she spoke as if he were her elementary aged child coming in from recess.
He went silent. He wouldn’t give them any information and he sure as hell wouldn’t eat or drink anything they gave him.
If they killed him via injection or the nasogastric tubes, at least it wouldn’t be by his own hand.
“I hope soon you feel comfortable to exchange more information with me. The sooner that happens, the sooner we can help you. In the meantime we will work to stabilize you and get you back to feeling more like yourself.”
“Myself? How do you know what that looks like? You don’t know me.”
“No I don’t, but I’d like to get to know you.”
Oh he understood it now, they were keeping him alive only to get valuable information first. That was smart he conceded. He had a lot of information that he was certain they wanted.
“We’ll keep sending meals and snacks over in case you’re in the mood for anything. For now, we will have to continue the NG tube and IV. The second you start eating and drinking those can go away, do you understand?”
Again, the kindergartner approach, why did she have to keep asking if he understood?
“You won’t get anything from me. It’s only a matter of time before you realize that and execute me.”
The woman pursed her lips ever so slightly and adjusted her sitting position. Small signs, Leo knew, that indicated her annoyance. She was good but not that good.
“Leopold, I’m going to let you rest. Please consider what I mentioned. Consider the possibility that we are here to help.”
In a moment the woman was gone and he was alone with his tubes and wires again.
How long, he wondered, until they discovered what he already knew? How long until they marched him to a shooting line or slipped something into his IV once they understood he’d be of no use to them?
If they wanted to play this game of concerned caregivers, perhaps he could play too- buy himself some time to plan an escape. He knew he at least had to try.
