goki @bewagoofiyan - Tumblr Blog

interview with the archivist (happy halloween! 🦇)

easy website.

trying to figure out how jon would realistically relate to his queerness is a bit of a never ending conundrum, because, on the one hand, he's a super emotionally repressed and ashamed person who spends a lot of his arc at turns feverishly adhering to and trying to free himself from a highly gendered performance of class. his instinctive response to feeling vulnerable is to cover up his emotions, deepen his voice, exaggerate his accent, and make it look like he's above all those weak-willed credulous idiots to disguise the fact that he very much feels like a weak-willed credulous idiot. he's so used to ignoring his emotions that he can't even figure out what they are when directly asked by his dearest loved one, and he's got a, shall we say, Bad relationship to his body and his feelings of ownership over it.

on the other hand, he uses terminology like "male presenting" in his own private notes, he exclusively wears his ex gf's clothes for two months without batting an eyelid, he has basically no reaction at all to finding out other people in his social circle are queer, he dgaf about experiencing homophobic microaggressions, and his romantic relationship with a man is potentially the only thing in the entire show that he isn't paranoid about fucking up and losing. to me this paints a picture of a person who has manged to internalize really quite crushing and life-altering queerphobia about everything except, somehow, for his actual queerness. he thinks he's a lily-livered spineless wimp and an inhuman heartless abomination but that has nothing to do with his biromantic asexuality.

warlenys

we talk about wilson being awful and evil deep down and he is but importantly that doesn’t erase the sincerity of his kindness. he is truly kind. he needed to help that old woman in post mortem because he does care about people. what makes him interesting is that he doesn’t want to. he gets mad at himself for being kind and nice and selfless and enabling. he wants to be selfish and mean. he would be happier that way. meanwhile house hates himself for being selfish and mean. house wants to be kind. house would be happier if he was wilson and wilson would be happier if he was house. and both of them are only able to be those versions of themselves when they’re together. they not only want to be with each other, they want to be each other. but the fucking tragedy of it is that they actually need to be the versions of themselves that they don’t like to be together. because if wilson was mean he would’ve dumped house ages ago and if house was kind wilson wouldn’t find him interesting. house loves that wilson is secretly evil but needs him to be kind, and wilson loves that house is secretly kind but needs him to be evil. they can’t change. they have to suffer themselves to enjoy each other. they’re plagued with an inability to be who they want to be in anyone’s arms but each other’s, but they both have to be who they don’t want to be to be in each other’s arms. the immutable tragedy of the hilson paradox

wolfythewitch

Smiling Jon sketches

geodebiome

does anyone on here even Know the name of the world-ender ritual in MAG160. btw im not asking for you guys to tell me im instead trembling like a chihuahua eager to share this delightful piece of information

geodebiome

im sure many of you think it was called the watcher's crown. wrong! the watcher's crown was a failed beholding-only event attempted in 1867 :)

the mass ritual does not have a name ever mentioned in the text! but well! jonny, albeit tentatively, suggested a name!