A Collection Of Things Beyond Your Ken (and Mine)

I'm trained to stan(d) confidently here!✨ *all of the hills I'd die upon 🏔️

[peniswizard69]

Oh so when your mom puts a little bit of her heart in every meal that's fine, but when I, Harrowhark the First,

[titsay]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some fics really make me feel this deep in my heart man fanfics are so amazing. I love fanfics

[not-a-smartass-just-a-nerd]

don't mind me, just thinking about how Nancy Danderhoof must have felt the first time she saw Bat Child's face and saw not a Nosferatu vampire but a ghost, the ghost of a girl she mourned, the ghost of a girl whose death she honored in the one way she knew how to, by writing, by digging, by never giving up on finding the truth because "nobody just disappears-"

[dimension20memes]

I forgot to post these yesterday because I have ADHD but here are belated father's (derogatory) day memes

Textpost credits: @nainaaaaaaa @ripe @desinteress @crucifix

[44insects]

[titsay]

orange

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[asteraws]

[angelicguy]

my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

[milk5-deactivated20260704]

you need to discipline your child. port is a horrible choice for the main course and wildly clashes with a rich béarnaise.

[angelicguy]

dude hes three….

[bumblr-dotcom]

And uncultured. Get a new child

[maculategiraffe]

me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs

Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer

me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!

Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!

me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now

Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!

[cwicseolfor]

The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.

[sugarsylvie]

Bouncy Ampharos!!

[keylimetafyyy]

Slightly less bouncy Flaaffy!

[plain-flavoured-english]

As a Greek, in response to the current controversy about Matt Damon being cast as Odysseus, I'd just like to share that one of the moments that changed my brain chemistry as a kid was reading a novelized version of the Odyssey and coming across the following description of Odysseus when Circe sees him for the first time and thinks he's hot: "his hair curled like a clematis and his eyes were very brown".

So may I present my own casting choice for Odysseus:

[plain-flavoured-english]

Excuse me???

[ruffboi-mags]

you are right and you should say it.

[instantduckninja]

Is this the face of a man who would put his own infant in front of a plow to avoid going to war?

Absolutely not

You know who would try that shit?

Is this the face of a man who would defy the very gods to get home to his wife?

You know who would defy the gods just to show he could get away with it?

[invizigothx]

time to get a delicious tea drink from my favorite crone, boba yaga

[invizigothx]

then I will go to an exercise class led by my favorite instructor, baba yoga

[animatedamerican]

how could i ever leave tumblr

[goblinparty]

Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the word ‘library’, so I said ‘book ranch’. He thought it was hilarious and started making up alternative names for ‘librarian’.

“Cowbook! Like cowboy! No…Readcher? Like Rancher? No, fuck this is hard…”

and just now I heard him yell “BOOKAROO” from the other end of the apartment in the most triumphant tone of voice i’ve ever heard

[sasquapossum]

“Howdy, pardner. Name’s Tex. Biblio Tex.”

[certifiedlibraryposts]

Certified Library Post

[curoopeez]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[dietranch]

hyper beam