my blue spring

our love, let's weave it togetherֶֶֶָָָ֢֢֢

[bgomtori]

: ̗̀➛ gen , 18+ , bamtori ot5 moa

“ do i perhaps like you? “ ๋࣭ ⭑ 🧸

HUNDREDS IF NOT THOUSANDS OF ROSES MAY BE IN BLOOM,

BUT ONLY ONE COULD SAVE THE BOY FROM LONELINESS.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added :D) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson @woncheecks @boba-beom @naveries @be-argyu @defnotleee @babymochibeargyu @lvlyhiyyih

・‥━━━━━━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━━━━━━…‥・

[bgomtori]

A LITTLE MORE HONEST - C.BG

archive

synopsis - meeting beomgyu was a miracle, yet the universe seemed to pull you away from him like a magnetic repulsion. maybe if he was more honest with himself, if YOU were more honest with yourself, things would have worked out.

OR

two people who should have been a little more honest with themselves

-> music major! beomgyu x film major! reader

-> college au!, fluff (?), angst (?), situationship to strangers to ???, slowburn

warnings: alcohol consumption, conflicted feelings, extremely complicated feelings, both beomgyu and reader are scared of their own feelings.

note: HI GUYS!!! this oneshot took longer than i had expected, but i enjoyed writing it, so i hope you enjoy reading it as well! i had some trouble writing this since it has been so long, but i really hope i executed my idea well :) as always your feedback is appreciated!

wc: 3230

© 2026 bgomtori

introduction: found you through circumstances

you were someone who felt a lot, someone who carried your heart on your sleeve, while beomgyu was someone with few words, thinking that speaking too much would cause more inconveniences. at first, the first meet-up was awkward, bumping into each other by accident while rushing to the next tutorial, mumbling soft apologies to one another before scrambling away. you thought beomgyu was just a face you would never see again, but it kept happening, he was everywhere, from the cafes you went to, to the study spots on campus. you studied different majors, but somewhere along the way, your days began to overlap. 

the glances you would give each time you saw him in the same room as you. it was like you were seeking his presence. it was unusual, beomgyu was just a stranger to you, so why were you starting to feel so much? beomgyu also noticed your silent existence, approaching you carefully, slipping into the seat next to you in the library, studying. no words were exchanged, just simple eye contact occasionally.

overtime, it became a routine, giving gentle smiles while walking past each other, and sitting next to each other in the library. by the middle of the semester, your conversations started to grow longer, and you learned how to read each other in ways that didn’t require attention. 

beomgyu knew more about you than you knew yourself, vice versa. 

beomgyu, deep down, was someone who loved people more than he loved himself, someone who would drop everything for the person he loved, but also someone who feared rejection. each time he was with you, he had to hold himself back, worried that he might do something that would scare you away.

beomgyu slowly adjusted around you, conversations drifting away from studies and more to personal lives. your giggles would fill beomgyu’s ears in a pleasant way. he loved the way your smile reached your eyes every time he cracked a joke, or the way your eyes shone when you talked about something you loved. fingers lingering each time beomgyu would purposely place his hands on top of yours or tuck your hair behind your ear when you’re focused. 

you ignored the butterflies in your stomach every time. 

the tension grew eventually, late-night conversations outside the dorms, pauses lengthening when words started to slip out on accident. you glowed with him, shining brighter than you used to, and beomgyu loved to see that.

everything felt like it was falling into place. however, nothing was talked about, leaving it unnamed and untouched. 

scene 1: when everything starts to fall in place.

beomgyu was seated beside you on a bench in the park. the two of you decided to take a stroll around the park after a long study session together, both tired and exhausted, only relishing in each other’s presence. the streetlights were dim, and movement slowed around you. an imaginary bubble encased you, the world felt like it was just the two of you that remained, the quiet rustling of trees and loud engine whirring through the night. 

“do you ever feel behind?” you asked, leaning back against the bench, shoulders touching ever so slightly.

“what do you mean?" beomgyu stared, slightly confused. your eyes fixed on the grass patch beneath you as you shrugged, the cool, evening breeze fanning your face gently. 

“like behind everyone, everyone around me knows what they’re doing, but i feel lost.” beomgyu scanned you. he noticed the little slip of your head, he knew about the pressure you’d carry quietly, especially since the semester was coming to an end. 

“you don’t feel behind to me,” beomgyu mumbled, surface-level words that meant something much deeper. your head shifted, looking at beomgyu, eyes wide. you felt seen after so long. beomgyu’s words floated around your mind as the silence between you two grew louder. beomgyu pursed his lips at your silence, averting his gaze. he knew the meaning behind his words, he knew how the world felt steadier when he was around you, your existence calmed him down, rearranging his days in ways he wouldn't admit. 

“come on, let’s go back, we’re both tired,” beomgyu muttered, breaking the silence, grabbing both your bags, waiting for you to stand up before walking back to the dorms with you. your hands brushed against each other occasionally, brief enough to be accidental, long enough to be felt. beomgyu ignored the feeling, feeling like it’s safer for him to keep to himself than to ruin anything that’s happening. 

scene 2: a future he didn’t enter.

days seemed to move in a blur, the semester was ending, and a new academic year was about to start. you sat next to beomgyu in the cafe you recommended him since the start, talking about the next year. from internships to extracurriculars, your life seemed to take its shape, opening up to new opportunities, compared to your previous state, where you felt daunted by the future. beomgyu listened carefully, watching you talk about your plans, how you wanted to grow in the industry, and do the things you love. beomgyu loved this side of you, he loved watching the way your hands fidgeted, how your eyes basically glimmered under the lights in the cafe. beomgyu enjoyed listening to you so much, it was painful, the ache in his heart felt unbearable, in a good way.

“i won’t be around as much, i have an internship offer hours away from campus,” you informed, honestly. beomgyu felt the sentence settle low in his chest, a small furrow in his brows when he had a weird feeling. he choked on his drink, pretending to be unfazed.

“yeah, makes sense.” beomgyu’s response was barely above a whisper, as if he was trying to contain something. you noticed the shift in the atmosphere, instead of the usual bubbly mood you always had with beomgyu, it felt tense. beomgyu tried to contain his expressions, knowing that you would be able to read him like a book, but you had already beaten him to it.

“you okay? you’re quiet.” you searched his face for any clues about his feelings. 

beomgyu almost laughed, shaking his head almost immediately, pushing away his feelings. it was right there, the truth, nearly slipping out of his mouth, the words, ‘i like you,’ on the tip of his tongue. he wanted to tell you that you had become the person he had oriented himself around, your company was something he had already grown accustomed to. The idea of your absence was already killing beomgyu on the inside, a loss that he didn’t know how to name. he wanted to tell you to stay since he wasn’t sure how he would move through his days without you around.

“i just–” beomgyu started, before stopping himself, looking conflicted, the words almost falling out of his mouth. you waited, like you always did. you always gave him enough time. that was the hardest part. beomgyu looked away, staring out the window of the cafe, stirring the cold glass of tea, the glass straw clanking against the inner surface of the cup as he collected his thoughts.

“i think you’ll do well.” his voice almost forced. your expression softened, you expected more, but his words always meant more. “thanks gyu.” 

you stayed for a while more before the sun started to set, getting up and leaving the cafe together. on the way back to the dorms, you talked about smaller things, from how class was to the gossip you overheard during lunch, beomgyu continued listen. outside your dorm room, you gave beomgyu a quick hug, brief and familiar, his hands remained around your waist for a while longer, pulling away slowly first. 

once you were in your dorm, beomgyu understood one thing, honesty wasn’t something he lacked, but something he actively chose not to use. he chose to be dishonest to himself, and most importantly, you.

scene 3: the closest they’ve come to honesty 

as the semester came to a close, it meant deadlines and examinations. you and beomgyu got busier as the workload got heavier. your messages between each other slowed, but stayed consistent. you’d book study pods in the campus library, sending beomgyu your location, letting him know that you’re studying as he made his way to you. 

he quietly slid open the door, holding your drink orders, carefully placing yours beside your papers, sitting next to you. 

“how much was this?” you asked, taking a small sip out of your icy drink. beomgyu shrugged, shaking his head. 

“don’t worry about it.” he smiled, taking out his tablet with his earbuds, producing something you’d never figure out. your eyes fell back onto your own notes, designing a storyboard for your next film assignment. 

the pod soon fell into a familiar hush, the sound of your pencil scratching the surface of paper as loud music flowed out of beomgyu’s airpods broke the silence. your eyes occasionally turned to beomgyu, shifting closer to look at his progress, shoulders brushing against his, unintentional but it lingered. beomgyu stilled at the innocent contact, his breath hitching for a brief second before calming himself down. focus, beomgyu repeated in his mind like a broken record, reminding himself to keep his hands where they were, but the closeness made everything sharper. 

all he could sense was you, your harboured breathing, your vanilla-scented perfume, and the way you bit your lip in concentration. beomgyu was doomed from the moment he entered the study pod.

beomgyu sighed softly, removing an airpod from his ear, gently placing it into yours, his hands tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“need your opinion.” he briefly stated, adjusting the volume of his tablet before playing his latest piece. the melody was slow, sensual, and romantic. beomgyu’s voice filled your eardrums, a voice that could make anyone fall, singing like he’s yearning for something or someone. the lyrics sounding too personal. 

“it’s nice,” you muttered under your breath, looking up at beomgyu. beomgyu hummed, almost missing out on your words, leaning closer to hear you again. 

“it’s good,” you said, louder now. the corners of beomgyu’s lips twitched into a smile, finally looking at you, not noticing the distance between you. for a moment, neither of you moved. beomgyu’s eyes flickered between your eyes, then your lips, barely even thinking straight, acting before hesitation could catch up. 

beomgyu reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers together, testing the waters. when you didn’t pull away, he took it as a sign, leaning in. your lips touched, brief and unsure, a confession without any words. your eyes fluttered closed, squeezing on beomgyu’s hands, melting into the kiss. the softness of the kiss turned almost desperate, spilling everything unsaid into the kiss. a groan bubbled in beomgyu’s throat when you pulled him closer, he was hooked from the feeling. your heart raced, his soft lips against your own felt like a dream, your body reacting to his gentle touches. 

before it went any further, beomgyu pulled away, his lips now covered in your lip gloss, his eyes filled with a hint of regret that settled in too fast. nothing was said. the study pod returned to its silence, heavier than it was previously. beomgyu returned to his tablet as if he didn’t just cross the line. your mind was a wreck, seeing beomgyu act so indifferent about the sudden kiss annoyed you slightly, but at the same time, what could you do? the two of you have always danced around the line of a friendship or a relationship, this was nothing new, but it ached, it devoured you internally. 

you forced yourself to focus on your storyboards and planning, praying that this feeling would disappear. right now? you weren’t being honest with your heart, thinking that everything’s alright when it wasn’t. 

the day ended with the kiss left unmentioned, even as it felt like it was eating you from the inside out. if this was how it was going to be, you decided to let it be.

scene 4: the fallout

after that night, things didn’t end, they thinned out. messages came in slower than they used to, conversations ended sooner, and the space between you grew without either of you naming it. you were too busy with life, too caught up to even notice the shift, standing behind cameras and directing sets, while beomgyu was behind the microphone, producing music he loved. you lived in two completely different worlds, with your hands getting fuller with responsibilities, beomgyu became your second priority, distracting yourself from any reminders of him, and he noticed it fast. 

his longing for you grew as the distance grew, but beomgyu admits it, he was too slow, his best bet of keeping you close was to just watch you shine from where you stood. in the crowds with renowned actors and actresses in the film industry.

beomgyu painfully learned how to carry your absence quietly, how to let days pass without reaching out for his phone. sometimes he would pause, fingers hovering over the screen, wondering if honesty would have changed anything at all. He still decided that it was easier to believe that the silence was kinder.

beomgyu stayed quiet so you could remain light and finish your internship without any burdens.

beomgyu knew he did the right thing, that’s what he thought. It was not easy. He realised how he started to avoid places associated with you, how small achievements felt duller without someone to tell. beomgyu laughed less without realising it, stopped reaching for moments he knew would comfort him, because he knew these were the consequences he had to face if he chose to be dishonest with himself. the silence he decided was no longer gentle, it gnawed on him, it stuck onto him like a plague, a chronic disease that never leaves. with you now gone from his world, beomgyu functions, but without much energy. His social battery was dying almost instantly compared to the times when he had you. nights were harder, no distractions, nothing to prevent his thoughts from running back to you and the time spent together. he stares at his ceiling, numb to the feeling, eyes falling on the little trinket you gave him because it reminded you of him. 

yet, you’re everywhere, “the rising film director,” was what the world called you, a prodigy with the cameras and directing perfect films despite your young age. your name floated around the streets, never leaving beomgyu alone. your success, even being just an intern, meant larger opportunities for you, making it harder for beomgyu to even reach you again. watching you from a distance meant something, that you weren’t ever coming back, and it was because the two of you were too afraid to approach the very thing holding you back. your feelings and commitment.

epilogue: a little more honest?

it has been months after the fallout, beomgyu was producing music for popular artists, gaining recognition for his work. his music career was blossoming, which felt amazing, but to him, he still felt empty. you on the other hand, kept growing as a film director, given more chances to work in bigger industries. you glowed without beomgyu and he was proud of your achievements, finally coming to terms that the past will forever stay in the past, but did it really?

a networking event was hosted by a huge company that invited individuals from different industries to connect, from music to design, anyone from the arts was welcomed with open arms. the venue was dimly lit with an open bar, anyone would know that the main motive behind this event wasn’t for connecting with partners and industries, it was more of a party in disguise. drunk people almost everywhere, the air felt sticky and humid, beomgyu’s suit clung to him like a second skin as he tried to navigate around the function room. 

when he managed to squeeze towards the bar, ordering a simple shot, his eyes roamed around the room. there were many famous actors and actresses, some idols wandering around, and… you? beomgyu’s eyes widened, choking on his saliva, what were you doing here? what was he thinking, of course you were here, you were famous for your films anyway. beomgyu ran his hand through his slightly gelled up hair, conflicted. he felt his mind throb, seeing you here after avoiding you for so long brought back feelings he had suppressed over the months. all of which was in vain, since it came flooding back. 

there you were, in a pretty black dress that hugged your body in the correct places, your hair framing your face perfectly, while your makeup made you stand out. beomgyu couldn’t keep his eyes off you, you were a sight. seeing you interact with others irritated him, he wasn’t annoyed at you because of it, but himself for being so scared. 

beomgyu ordered another shot, downing it in a second. the alcohol left a burning sensation down his throat, letting it course through his veins, causing him to let loose of his inhibitions, feeling tipsy. 

beomgyu cleared his throat, moving away from the open bar, making his way to you. if it weren’t for the alcohol, he would not walked up to you. beomgyu tapped on your shoulder, making you turn in surprise, not expecting him at the event. your eyes scanned beomgyu, suspicious about his intentions, but the way he looked at you. so much want and longing, it made your knees grow weak. 

“beomgyu…” you muttered out, loud enough for him to hear. beomgyu let out a soft hum, nodding his head, as if agreeing to something you asked for. his hands were fiddling with his own slacks, trying to keep them to himself.

“i’m sorry.” beomgyu suddenly spilled out, averting his apologetic gaze before turning back to you. the tilt of confusion you always did made beomgyu fumble his next words, “sorry for everything.” 

beomgyu paused, opening his mouth before closing it again, pursing his lips. he looked at you again, so pretty and perfect, but not for him. his eyebrows knitted, rubbing his temple as he composed himself, taking a small step back. you could see the whirlpool of emotions beomgyu was fighting back, it reflected your own feelings too. 

in this event of higher-ups and renowned people, it felt like it was only you two in this room, the music fading into mere background noise. before you could even say anything to snap beomgyu out of his thoughts, he grabbed your wrist gently, as if you were glass. his grip tightened before releasing it, letting your hand drop back to your side. you disoriented as beomgyu leaned closer, hand on your arm now, dipping down to your ear, breath fanning against the tip of it. you swore you felt yourself melt, heart racing in your ear. 

“i should have tried to love you a little more honest.” 

beomgyu whispered, pulling back before he did anything you two might regret. he looked at you painfully as you stared in shock, was this an invitation to start again, or was this closure? you gathered back your thoughts, trying to look for beomgyu but he was gone. he vanished again, faded like a ghost, leaving you alone with your conflicting feelings...

perm taglist: @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson @woncheecks @boba-beom @naveries @be-argyu @defnotleee @babymochibeargyu @riuscheri

taglist: @nineooooo @flytomyro0m @beomiracles

[bgomtori]

A LITTLE MORE HONEST - C.BG [PREVIEW]

synopsis - meeting beomgyu was a miracle, yet the universe seemed to pull you away from him like a magnetic repulsion. maybe if he was more honest with himself, if YOU were more honest with yourself, things would have worked out.

OR

two people who should have been a little more honest with themselves and to each other

-> music major! beomgyu x film major! reader

-> college au, fluff (?), angst (?), situationship to strangers, slowburn

warnings: not any that i know of at the moment! will add in once i'm completely done with the oneshot~ do note that some things WILL change since i have not proof read anything, this is just to build anticipation, and to also see if there's any interest in this oneshot!

notes: IM BACK! after so long, here's a little sneakpeak of something that has been on my mind lately. i'm trying something new, so please treat this well 🙏🙏 if yall would like to be tagged for the official drop, either comment or send a ask! will gladly add yall! thanks for supporting me after all these years, so glad to be back!

wc: 426

© 2026 bgomtori

you were someone who felt a lot, someone who carried your heart on your sleeve, while beomgyu was someone with few words, thinking that speaking too much would cause more inconveniences. at first, the first meet-up was awkward, bumping into each other by accident while rushing to the next tutorial, mumbling soft apologies to one another before scrambling away. you thought beomgyu was just a face you would never see again, but it kept happening, he was everywhere, from the cafes you went to, to the study spots on campus. you studied different majors, but somewhere along the way, your days began to overlap.

the glances you would give each time you saw him in the same room as you. it was like you were seeking his presence. it was unusual, beomgyu was just a stranger to you, so why were you starting to feel so much? beomgyu also noticed your silent existence, approaching you carefully, slipping into the seat next to you in the library, studying. no words were exchanged, just simple eye contact occasionally.

overtime, it became a routine, giving gentle smiles while walking past each other, and sitting next to each other in the library. by the middle of the semester, your conversations started to grow longer, and you learned how to read each other in ways that didn’t require attention.

beomgyu knew more about you than you knew yourself, vice versa.

beomgyu, deep down, was someone who loved people more than he loved himself, someone who would drop everything for the person he loved, but also someone who feared rejection. each time he was with you, he had to hold himself back, worried that he might do something that would scare you away.

beomgyu slowly adjusted around you, conversations drifting away from studies and more on personal lives. your giggles would fill beomgyu’s ears in a pleasant way. he loved the way your smile reached your eyes every time he cracked a joke, or the way your eyes shone when you talked about something you loved. fingers lingering each time beomgyu would purposely place his hands on top of yours or tuck your hair behind your ear when you’re focused.

you ignored the butterflies in your stomach every time.

the tension grew eventually, late-night conversations outside the dorms, pauses lengthening when words started to slip out on accident. you glowed with him, shining brighter than you used to, and beomgyu loved to see that.

everything felt like it was falling into place. however, nothing was talked about, leaving it unnamed and untouched...

[bgomtori]

since i'm back, i'd like to share something!! i recently went to the txt con act:tomorrow AND BEOMGYU NOTICED ME DURING SOUNDCHECK!! it was such a fulfilling moment, i'm genuinely still geeking out over it😭😭😭 anyways i've just started an outline of my next gyu x reader story, if you'd like to be tagged comment under this post or send me an ask, so happy to be back in moablr 🥹🤍

[bgomtori]

BGOMTORI MY BELOVED I MISSED YOU SO MUCHHH 🥹🫂

AAAA HELLO ANON, I MISSED YOU GUYS TOO 🥹🥹🥹

[bgomtori]

HI GEN MY BELOVED GEN I LOVE YOU GEN

HELLO MY BABY ALLIE I LOVE U TOOOO

[bgomtori]

hi guys.. what if i come back and start writing again 😄

[luviestarz]

ᴄʜᴏɪ ʙᴇᴏᴍɢʏᴜ ꜰɪᴄ ʀᴇᴄꜱ ! ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 𓍯

𓍯 stranger things - @bb-eilish (mentions of death, vecna, the stupid fucking grandfather clock, sex, rough sex, dirty talk, pet names, dom!gyu, sub!reader,mutual pining, condom use)

𓍯 gamer beomgyu - @minnieves (lays her down on the bad and fucks her throat while standing up)

𓍯 pairing: boyfriend!beomgyu x reader - @beomglocks (smut, a little bit of edging, squirting, fingering, oral (f receiving), brief mentions of piss)

𓍯 thigh riding - @vngelgyu (reader is turned on but doesnt want gyu to stop playing his game)

𓍯 𓆩♡𓆪 mutual masturbation ` w/beomgyu ! - @hyufucks (mutual masturbation (duh), fingering, handjob, swt/swt dinamics, cum play/eating)

𓍯 chapstick challenge w/ beomgyu ♡̩͙ˊˎ! - @delcakoo

𓍯 🏷️ f!reader, unprotected sex, mild choking - @planet-dusk

𓍯 are you sure? - @tyunslvr (you just can’t seem to believe that your boyfriend likes you as much as you like him)

𓍯 ૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ㅅ ა tangled ?! | choi beomgyu. - @cyjlovebott (idol!beomgyu & hairstylist!reader)

𓍯 take a photo - @silvergyus (beomgyu likes to record when he fucks you from behind)

𓍯 memory - @sunflwryu (warning: yandere)

𓍯 [#EADCC3 ] — choi beomgyu - @spookybias (yandere, creepy behavior, kidnapping, very brief mention of stabbing someone)

𓍯 back into you - choi beomgyu - @tubatwo (beomgyu is a sweetheart and you just want to be his friend)

𓍯 YANDERE!BEOMGYU - @hyewka

𓍯 ⸻   *  ❪  ❀  …  ROSE - @appleofthemoon (oh dear, it looks like death has parted you and your lover. don’t worry, beomgyu is here to make you whole again)

𓍯 · ° . ࿐𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 | C.BG - @boba-beom (when the love of a best friend exceeds, it’s time to confess to him first. however, you never knew he had fallen for you from the very start)

𓍯 dry humping w/ beomgyu - @hyuk4sbf (sub!beomgyu x gn!reader)

𓍯 perv!gyu - @hyewka

𓍯 the ole pervert neighbor trope - @sunghoons-mole (as you are struggling to carry a load of laundry across the parking lot back to your apartment, your neighbor spots you - short shorts, ass swaying left to right... and comes to the conclusion that it would be wrong to follow you back to your place....right?)

𓍯 Milkshakes - @kimberrysunwoo (retro “date” with beomgyu)

𓍯 totally unlabeled kisses - @heart2beom (in which you and beomgyu teeter between being normal best friends and well...best friends who makeout from time to time)

𓍯 the suitor. - @mazeinthemoon (despite being one in five suitors for your royal highness, prince beomgyu makes it his mission to have you fall in love with him.. even if it means being clingy)

𓍯 sub bully yandere beomgyu - @imrllytootiredforthis (Tries bullying you for attention but fails horribly after you responds back even worse)

𓍯 !!he gets me so high- c.bg smau - @bgomtori (you've been friends with beomgyu ever since kindergarten, the two of you have been attached to each other by the hip, everyone thinks that you're dating but youre not. maybe there are hidden feelings you two hide between each other? maybe you two secretly fawn over each other when the other isnt look)

𓍯 THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF. - @hannie-dul-set (swearing, beomgyu is embarrassing)

𓍯 emo boy beomgyu - @koqabear (The day of your one-year anniversary with Beomgyu was expected to be spent away from each other— but not if either of you can help it, far too in love to let anything get in the way of you two)

𓍯 the only exception | beomgyu x reader - @byeomtori (love at first sight au, summer love thingy, lots of reference to paramore's the only exception and txt's our our summer, pda)

𓍯 𓂂. ✉️ יִ sextape, c. beomgyu - @jeongin-lvr (𝗉𝗈𝗋𝗇 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍，𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗄! 𝗀𝗒𝗎，𝖼𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗌 + 𝖿𝗂𝗅𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀，𝗉𝖾𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌，𝖽𝖾𝗀𝗋𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗇𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗑 𝗈𝖿 𝗉𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾，𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗄，𝖻𝗎𝗅𝗀𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗄，𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖻𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗌𝗂𝗓𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗄)

[bgomtori]

thank you so much for mentioning my smau!! 🥹🥹

[bgomtori]

☆ not another song about love - c.bg

synopsis - he hates everything about you, you stuck to him like glue without his permission, he wants you to go away, but why is his heart beating so fast whenever you're around?

-> rockstar! beomgyu x reader

-> one sided enemies to lovers, love-hate relationship, "i hate you so much, but.." trope.

-> warnings! suggestive, angst-comfort. beomgyu's a bitch to yn, but it's for the plot. beomgyu and yn vapes, the whole band does. (don't vape guys). yn is oblivious, she just allows beomgyu to be mean to her. theyre in the same fg btw

-> notes! my last and final fic before i stop writing completely! i hope you guys enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it :3 i will miss you guys, i won't disappear completely, i just won't post/write at all from now on. thank you for your support everyone!

he hates you, he hates the way your voice makes his heart palpatate at a rate he despises, he hates the fact that when your touch lingers on his skin, making him crave more for your touch. he hates the way his eyes naturally wander to your lips, wanting to at least have a sense of how they feel against his. why is it when he wants to push you away, you gravitate closer to him. you're annoying, beomgyu hates it, but he hates it when you're away too.

"congrats!! that show was amazing, i wished that it was longer though.." your smile beamed, running towards the band that had just ended their mini gig. the band stopped in their track, turning to meet your radiant smile.

"if it isn't our favourite supporter." ryujin laughed, giving you a tight hug which you reciprocated. you gave everyone a hug, telling them good job and complimenting them, that was until you came to beomgyu.

"good job gyu, you looked really good up there." you ruffled his hair, knowing that he didn't like it when you hugged him. his face grimaced, pretending as if he didn't enjoy that head pat.

"i'm going out for a while." beomgyu announced, hastily leaving without turning back, you looked at his fellow bandmates, only to be met with a shrug.

"he's just angsty, don't worry about him. come on, let's go get some drinks." minjeong and ryujin swung their arms around your shoulders, dragging you out of the hallways and into the bar they just performed in, leaving jeongin and heeseung to walk behind.

meanwhile with beomgyu, he walked to the nearby alleyway, leaning against the bricked up walls, taking out his vape pen from his pocket, placing it against his mouth, inhaling the addictive nicotine and strawberry flavouring. sighing out the fumes, he recalled to when he made constant eye contact with you during his gig, his heart racing whenever he saw you clapping along with the beat. he hated this fluttering feeling, he wanted it to disappear immediately.

"beomgyu?" speak of the devil, you decided to appear right beside him when he was trying to forget about you.

"what are you doing wandering around here?" beomgyu asked, concerned, especially since it was dark out.

"they're all drunk, it's hard to cope with their noise, so i decided to find you." you explained, taking a step closer to beomgyu. beomgyu flinched as you leaned against his arm, humming slightly at the warmth against your cheek, his face feeling warmer than usual. there was barely a gap between you two, beomgyu could smell the vanilla scented perfume you'd always apply on, his hands slowly turning clammy as he thought about you.

"are you coming to the new year's festival? i heard from heeseung that they're planning to watch the fireworks." you asked. beomgyu hummed in response, staring blankly at the wall infront of him, inhaling the fruity fumes.

"can i take one puff?" beomgyu's head turned to you almost instantly, eyes widened.

"you vape?"

"not exactly, i tried it a few times because of ryujin.." you explained, smiling sheepishly. beomgyu frowned at your words, you were supposed to be a sweet, innocent girl that brought light to his band, and not become exactly like how they were. you noticed how hesitant he was when he handed you his vape pen, you eyed him mischieviously, " aww, are you concerned for me?"

"what makes you think that? just take a puff and return it to me." he retorted. you giggled at his quick response, placing the vape pod against your lips, inhaling the cold, icy fumes, the strawberry flavour immediately hitting your taste buds.

"not bad to be honest." you mumbled, returning, the pod to beomgyu, whose ears were turning to a light shade of red. he doesn't know if it was the nicotine taking effect, but his heart was racing at the thought that your lips were directly on the mouth piece of the vape, he technically had an indirect kiss with you. for the rest of the evening, he couldn't even focus on the words you were rambling about, all he could think about was you, and he absolutely despises it.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

it was the day of the new year festival, mini pop-up booths scattered around the venue, along with food stalls that had a plethora of snacks and drinks. you linked your arms with ryujin and minjeong, running around the place with them, trying to kill some time before the fireworks.

"wait give me some of that." jeongin shouted at heeseung, his hands about to grab a handful of his fries.

"buy your own." heeseung yelled back, using his hands to protect his flavourful fries from jeongin's grasp. beomgyu shook his head, eating the churros he bought from the same stall, waiting for you and the other two girls to come back from the claw machines.

"AH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK THIS THING IS RIGGED." ryujin cried out, shaking the machine, you swore she was going to break it. you attempted to calm her down, but it didn't work as minjeong only fuelled her anger at the claw machine.

"yea fuck that shit up!!" minjeong cheered at the side. you sighed, realising that there was no hope to calming your best friend down, you could only stand beside her and watch her fail miserably in catching the stuffed toy.

"ryujin, it's fine, we're gonna be broke if you continue." you grabbed onto ryujin's arm, pulling her away from the claw machine, "i can find something else, it doesn't have to be this."

"but you like that one." she whined, you smiled at her, "it's fine! i'm sure that there are other things here that i'll like."

the three of you emerged from the thousands of claw machines, finally reuniting with the boys. jeongin groaned about how slow the three of you were, and how his legs were about to snap off because of standing.

"don't be dramatic." minjeong rolled her eyes, causing a slight arguement between the two, ryujin joining in the conflict to add fuel to the fire, leaving you, heeseung, and beomgyu to trail behind them, pretending like they're non existent to you.

the walk was quiet, beomgyu and heeseung were talking to each other, leaving you to walk alone, no neccesarily, there was just a huge gap between you and the two males. your pace was slow, you wanted to see what each pop up stall has to offer, that was until you arrived at a jewellery stall, eyes immediately shining at 2 star clips that had a moon charm dangling from each of them. you seperated yourself from the two males, your feet immediately guiding you towards the stall.

you stared at the wide array of bracelets, clips and necklaces they had, only to fall back to the one that caught your eye in the first place.

"you shouldn't wander off by yourself." a deep voice sounded behind you, you flinched, turning back to meet beomgyu and heeseung's worried gaze. you gave them a shy smile, going back to look at the star clip that you really liked.

"are these nice? should i get them?" you turned to ask the two, placing the clips against your head.

"no they don't." beomgyu blurted out, causing him to get smacked in the head by heeseung. your smile dropped, letting out a soft, 'oh', before placing the clips down, thanking the storekeeper as you left.

"why are you so mean to her." heeseung sighs, beomgyu shrugs, his eyes landing on the 2 clips you just placed on the table.

"she just irks me out." he says, grabbing onto the star clips, giving the stall owner his card, ignoring the suspicious gaze heeseung was giving him.

"you don't have to lie." upon hearing the teasing tone heeseung was giving him, beomgyu pushed him away gently, sliding the clips into his pocket, walking away from his bandmate.

"come on beomgyu, don't give me the silent treatment. what's the actual reason?" heeseung wiggled his eyebrows, catching his breath after trying to run after beomgyu. beomgyu pursed his lips into a straight line, looking down at the ground, mumbling his words.

"whatt??"

"i said, i have feelings for her, but i just know she doesn't view me the same way." beomgyu rephrased his words, his face now turning red after confessing his feelings for you. heeseung looked at him stunned, "didn't know you had feelings to the point you might go insane.."

"shut up."

"you have a chance, talk to her before the fireworks start or something." heeseung gave beomgyu a pat on his back, running forward to catch up with the group that was in the distance, climbing up a hill. beomgyu jogged towards the friend group, his eyes frantically searching for you.

"yn." he grabbed your wrist, making you flinch, your eyebrows raised in confusion when beomgyu pulled you away from the friend group.

"what is it?" you asked harshly, still hurt from his previous words.

"i'm sorry."

"are you? if you were, you wouldn't have said that earlier." your lips started quivering, your heart still aching from his words, how it pierced through your heart. beomgyu couldn't bear the thought that you were hurt by his actions, he pulled out the star shaped clips, placing it against your hair.

"i lied, you look too pretty with it, it hurts my heart. i just didn't want to admit the fact that you had an effect on me. i'm truly sorry." beomgyu admitted, his thumb rubbing your knuckles, using his free hand to sweep away the hair from your face.

you stared at him in shock, your hand running through your hair, feeling the exact same clip you were eyeing earlier in your hair.

"why? don't you hate me?" you were confused at his actions, he would always give you a cold shoulder, or answer your dryly, you were under the impression that he despises your guts even though you were friends since primary school.

"i don't, i just.." his words trailed, unable to articulate the words he has been meaning to say.

"i've liked you since the very beginning, i just didn't want to grow attached to you, i'm afraid that i can't restrain myself from you." he confessed, your jaw slowly dropped at the confession, never in your 5 years of friendship, did you expect THE choi beomgyu liking you.

there was a lump in your throat, your heart was beating faster than it should have, you were speechless, unable to say anything. beomgyu took this as a sign of rejection, his lips turning into a sad smile, "it's fine if you don't like me back, i've treated you horribly, i just hope we can still remain friends that's all."

turning his back to you, about to walk away, back to your group of friends, you tugged on his sleeve. beomgyu watched as you tried collecting your thoughts, "you didn't even let me speak idiot." you grumbled, look him in the eye.

"i have feelings for you too, i didn't care if you treated me like shit, i just wanted to get closer to you.. but you kept pushing me away, so i thought it was one-sided." upon hearing those words come out of your mouth, beomgyu's face became warm, the loud chatters surrounding the two of you slowly quietened down, it was as if it was only both of you in this world.

"say something?" you pleaded, balling the fabric of his sleeve in your hand. beomgyu sighed, tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. it felt like there was a whole zoo in your stomach, you were so nervous as his thumb brushed the bottom of your lip.

before you could register, his lips was on yours, your breath hitched, slowly melting into the kiss. along with the sound of fireworks cracking in the background, this moment felt magical, like a fever dream. you pulled away from beomgyu, heat rushing to your cheeks, unable to look him in the eye. you felt your head being raised by him, his soft yet sharp features accentuated by the bright colours from the fireworks. he pulled you in once more, rougher than the first, you whined against his lips, causing him to go insane for you, that was until you both heard cheering beside you.

"you're eating her face off, are you that hungry." jeongin teased beomgyu, while ryujin and minjeong turned their phones to you.

"we got amazing pictures, we're sending this into the group chat." the tip of your ears was hot, it was embarrassing, you started chasing those two around, telling them to just send it to you. beomgyu watched you with lovesick eyes.

"come on loverboy, let's get more food and play some games, get a gift for your gift yea?" heeseung smirked, slinging him arm over beomgyu, walking towards the carnival games, whereas jeongin was yelling at the 3 of your to quit it. you groaned, briskly walking over to the boys with ryujin and minjeong, standing beside beomgyu.

"let's go to that game stall, they have the cutest plushies." you laced your fingers with beomgyu's, pulling him to the game booth you have been eyeing since the start of the festival.

now, your voice annoyed beomgyu a little less, always craving for your touch, and getting to kiss you whenever possible. he couldn't believe that after years of admiring, he finally has you wrapped around his finger, similar to how he's wrapped around your finger.

[bgomtori]

hello guys, i'm just gonna be transparent with you all since i don't want you guys to keep waiting anymoree 😞😞 first, i would like to say thank you so much for 500 followers >< your support really means a lot to me!! however, i am going to stop writing as a whole, yes i know it's sudden, but i reallu can't find the motivation to write anything at all :( or just update anything. i've just been so busy with life that i've completely neglected writing. i really hope you guys will understand! thank you all for supporting me on this 2(?) year long journey and accepting me on moablr! to all my moots, tysm for your support, i'll still support you guys on the sideline hehe >< and to all my followers, thank you for reading my fics and smaus :3 i'll come back to writing if i ever miraculously gain back the motivation but i fear that won't happen anytime soon 😓 thank you once again for this amazing experience! (i'll be releasing one last fic before i stop completely! 🫡)

[bgomtori]

ur a moa AND you read secret alliance!?!?! how are u real ur so cool

HAHAHA thank you anon >< sorry if this was a late response!! 🥲🥲

[bgomtori]

hey guys!! so sorry for the lack of updates omg 😭😭 but i just recently went to a wave to earth concert yesterday and it was surreal.. i was just starstruck the entire 2 hours, i'm suffering from major pcd rn 🥲🥲

here's some pics!!

[bgomtori]

☆ softcore - c.yj

synopsis - you were tired of yeonjun using you as someone he could just go to whenever he had a problem, but you can't seem to leave him.

-> yeonjun x reader

-> one-sided love, friends to lovers, angst(?), fluff

-> WARNING! slightly toxic friendship, yeonjun doesn't realise his feelings, kinda slowburn, yeonjun's a slight player and is kinda possessive, mentions of wooyoung from ateez + yuqi from gidle

-> NOTES! hi guys! i'm back? for a while hehe, im so sorry for not updating much, i've been losing motivation to write ever since last year :(

"she's ignoring me again yn, what should i do?" yeonjun groaned, burying his face into your shoulder as you tried to console him. you couldn't ignore the burning feeling you had in your heart, why were you still trying to reassure yeonjun even though he has made it obvious that he'd rather date other girls than you.

"shouldn't you just like drop her? she's been doing this for months and you're still trying to chase after her." you advised, pulling yeonjun away from your shoulder causing him to whine. your eyes met his, fuck you could feel your heart thumping against your chest. you hated yourself for constantly giving in, but you couldn't help it that he always show you affection through physical touch. yeonjun was confusing, you hated that he would always go to you whenever he wanted to, he barely even interacts with you in school, it felt as if you were just there in his life, nothing significant, just his little relationship therapist.

"i don't know, she's just so confusing.." yeonjun sighed, his head back onto your shoulder for comfort, you rubbed his back gently, staring blankly at the wall. "wait, why are you here again?" you asked, the words falling out of your mouth before you could even think. yeonjun looked at you shocked, "wait fuck no, i didn't mean it like that.. i, uhm." you meant exactly what you said, he was only at your apartment because he wanted girl advice, he's only cuddling you in bed because he needed relationship advice.

"i came to see you?" bullshit, if he wanted to see you he would have placed some time aside to hang with you in school, but he's always around entertaining other girl's needs. you were the other woman, nothing more, nothing less. "is there.. something wrong?" yeonjun asked, his hands laying on top of yours. you wanted to say that he was the root problem of what you were feeling, but at the same time it was your fault for falling for him.

"no, i'm fine, don't worry." you smiled at him, carressing his cheek. yeonjun leaned into your touch, nuzzling into your chest, hugging your waist tightly. you noticed that his breathing became more stable, soft snores escaping his mouth, he fell asleep. you stared at the wall behind him, why do you love torturing yourself like this.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"you're literally insane, look at him. last night he was literally sleeping in bed with you, then now he's hugging a new girl." yuqi, your best friend, glared in yeonjun's direction. you followed her eyes to where yeonjun was, you sighed into the palm of your hand. you felt so tired of his antics, it was a constant loop of giving yourself hope and breaking it almost immediately.

"you should give up honestly, it hurts me seeing you get played like that." yuqi suggested, sipping on the juice carton in her hand. you nibbled on your bread, you can't, if you gave up on him, you'd honestly break. he was like the sun, he brings light into your life, but he also drains your energy so much. you know that it was unhealthy, but he needed you as much as you needed him, you know that. however, yuqi was right, you're only hurting yourself more if you stayed by his side.

"i'll try to avoid him." you muttered out, you're going to regret it, but it's for the better.

"don't try, you have to." yuqi kicked your feet as you giggled, yea you will. you turned to your side, making eye contact with yeonjun, your eyes widened, quickly turning away, your face heating up almost instantly. this was going to be so tough.

after that conversation with yuqi, you distanced yourself from yeonjun, giving him excuses when he wants to hang out with you, you even started talking to wooyoung, one of the guys yuqi introduced you to. you told him about the thing you had with yeonjun, and he told you what anyone would have said. it was extremely toxic. you laughed it off awkwardly, pulling out your phone as you ate a fry you stole fron yuqi's tray.

yeonjun : today? can you hang? i miss you.

yn : can't today, i'm hanging out with my friends.

yeonjun : oh, ok.

you felt bad, but you had to follow through your plan, giving in to him will make you look weak.

on the other hand, yeonjun noticed that you've been avoiding him, he couldn't help but feel slightly jealous over the fact that you're getting closer to everyone else but him. he feels like you're disappearing from his grasp, he doesn't want that to happen, he doesn't want to lose you as well, he could lose anyone but you. he didn't even realise his feeling for you until recently when you started drifting from him.

"you actually like yn? like LOVE?" beomgyu gasped, yeonjun has never confessed any true feelings to him before, all of yeonjun's past relationships were half assed. yeonjun nodded his head, covering his face to save him the embarrassment beomgyu was about to give him.

"that's crazy, i saw this coming but you were too stupid fucking around other girls." beomgyu cupped his face, sipping on his americano, looking at yeonjun dead in the eye.

"shut up, i'll try talking to her later." yeonjun rolled his eyes at beomgyu, leaving the cafe without him. yeonjun tapped onto your chat, comtemplating on whether he should text you or not, it was getting late, knowing you, you were probably home already.

yeonjun : you home right now?

yn : yea why?

yeonjun : cool, see you at the park nearby in 10.

yn : what?

he left you on read, he didn't want to explain further, it was better if he told you in real life. he sat on one of the benches at the park, waiting for you.

"what do you want?" you voice suddenly sounded beside yeonjun, causing him to jump in surprise. yeonjun immediately placed his phone back into his pocket, patting the seat next to him. you sat next to him, you couldn't ignore the way your heart was racing either due to how close you were to him, or how nervous you were.

"why have you been avoiding me?" yeonjun asked, his eyes fixed on your face. "huh?" you stuttered, your hands getting clammy, you didn't expect this meeting to be a confrontation.

"did i do something wrong? i can fix myself, just tell me what i did wrong." you scoffed at his statement, was he really asking you this question right now?

"am i a fucking joke to you?"

"what?"

"is our friendship a joke to you? you only find me relevent in your life when some girl gives you an issue. one second you're all clingy to me, and the next you're all distant, talking to multiple girls like i'm a toy." you snapped, tears forming in your eyes, you were done with him, did he think that you were stupid?

"yn–" you pushed yourself off the bench, looking at yeonjun who looked like a kicked puppy, "if you don't have anything else to say, i'm leaving." you quickly walked away, wiping away the tears you finally let loose, you were sobbing. it hurts, you hated this, you hated yeonjun for making you feel like this, you felt humiliated for suddenly bursting like that.

unexpectedly, you felt someone tug on your wrist, pulling you into a warm embrace. your eyes widened, immediately pulling yourself away from yeonjun's grasp. "what are you doing?" you grumbled, pushing him away as you sniffled.

"i'm sorry." yeonjun apologised, his eyes on the ground, not batting you an eye.

"are you serious?" you pursed your lips, not buying into his apology.

"yes i am, i'm really sorry, i can't forgive myself for making you cry, i'll stop, i'll improve myself for you. just, don't leave me, i can't lose you too." yeonjun apologised sincerely, his eyes never leaving yours. you stood rooted to the ground before his arms engulfed you, giving you a bone-crushing hug. the tight hug you've always wanted from him, it felt so comforting, his scent was home to you, sobs escaped from your mouth, unable to respond to yeonjun's statement.

"can we restart? i'll treat you better, trust me." yeonjun rubbed the back of your hair, in hopes of getting a response from you.

"i hate you." you said in between sobs, peeling yourself away from yeonjun's grip, wiping the tears you had on your face. yeonjun laughed at your words, grabbing your hand as he pulled you towards your apartment.

"i'm staying over tonight, you don't mind right?" yeonjun asked, his thumb grazing over your knuckles every now and then. "no.." you mumbled, butterflies filling your stomach while following yeonjun closely. yeonjun smiled to himself before he started running, dragging you behind him. maybe staying by his side forever won't be a bad thing anymore.

[bgomtori]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays bestie 🎄❄️❤️

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN ><

[bgomtori]

☆ touch,, cbg thoughts

synopsis - beomgyu texture seeking thoughts ><

i got inspired by some posts i saw on tumblr and tiktok! so credits to them 🥹🥹 anyways i'll try my best to update more frequently!! also merry christmas!! i'm currently posting this from korea hehe >< enjoy your christmas guys!!

it's know to most people that beomgyu is texture seeking, engaging with various textures through touch in order to satisfy is sensory needs or to relieve his stress from work as an idol. beomgyu speficially seeks stimulation by running his hands on the fabric of different clothes, preferably knitted or silky fabrics.

texture seeking! beomgyu who would fidget with his own clothes or skin while zoning out slightly at work.

texture seeking! beomgyu who would instinctively reach out to the other members clothing to tug and play with the fabric

texture seeking! beomgyu who would yearn for physical touch and would use any opportunity to play with your fingertips

texture seeking! beomgyu who would nestle against you to feel the soft fabric of your clothes under his skin, bonus points since he gets to cuddle you too.

texture seeking! beomgyu who loves it when you were knitted sweaters or skirts! he would run his fingers over the frizzy fabric, tugging on it gently.

texture seeking! beomgyu who loves having slime dates with you and would create different types of slime with you to find one that suits him the most.

texture seeking! beomgyu who would trace drawings and words on your back, turning it into a quick and simple guessing game for you two to bond over.

texture seeking! beomgyu who would gently play with your hair while cuddling or help style it, as feeling the texture of your hair is one of his favorite things.

texture seeking! beomgyu who would hold your hand for grounding during stressful situations, finding comfort and stability in the warmth and texture of your touch.

[bgomtori]

i have so many writing ideas, but i have no motivation + the next chapt for lovesong is in my drafts but i dont have the confidence to post it 🫠🫠

[bgomtori]

THEYRE TAKING A BREAK!! YAY

I JUST SAW THIS!! IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭😭😭😭😭