[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

i'm dying at this reply to the US supreme court ruling on employer discrimination of lgbt people because, like, what the actual fuck would you get fired for

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[hearthome-deactivated20210601]

some people on this site seem to have a really profound misunderstanding of what slurs are. like, you can’t “use a word as a slur.” it’s either always a slur or not a slur, and a slur is different from an insult.

for example- gay is not a slur, since it’s a term gay people chose for ourselves, but is frequently used as an insult because of homophobia. in contrast, dyke is a slur because it originated as a way to criticize stereotypical lesbians, then was later reclaimed by some wlw.

slurs cannot be universally reclaimed. a word does not go from a slur to “no longer a slur.” like that’s not how this works lol, and there will always be people who are uncomfortable with a slur you reclaim.

remember that your experiences are not universal- in many places, slurs like queer are still used and it’s incredibly disrespectful to those of us who’ve been called slurs you haven’t to say that they’re not slurs anymore.

[stfudiscoinfernoed-archive]

The truth is that cishet aces/aros and cis aroaces have never been pushed out of society or directly harmed in any way that hasn’t also pushed out or harmed cishet “allos” that also reject sexual or romantic relationships for whatever reason. This is because this societal punishment had more to do with misogyny and ableism and homophobia than aphobia. It’s pure revisionism to suggest otherwise.

[halohiding-deactivated20200807]

my feminism is cishet white women exclusionary 😌

[biandrogyne]

hello everyone, i’m back

[1738949291hdjdj8]

Some of y’all be like: I am a cisgender person who is only attracted to the opposite sex but I have to form an emotional connection with someone before wanting to raw them so I’m technically part of the lgbt community 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🥰❤️

[hustlerose]

[corvidscourses]

the inclusionist belief that exclusionism causes material harm to ace/aro people is patently false and at this point is just blatant fearmongering tactics in order to make cishets pushing themselves into lgbt spaces seem more justified

[bobrobot1-deactivated20210824]

Aces get bullied for being who they are by people (like you) who banded together because they were bullied for being who they are(the rest of the LGBT community).

[corvidscourses]

please show me any example of me bullying ace people as you claim. and hint - not thinking cishets are lgbt isnt bullying by any stretch of the imagination

lgbt ppl didnt come together bc they were "bullied" lmfao how fucking trivialising. legal persecution, murder, genocide and oppression are what we have faced and came together against. "bullying" jesus christ

[uncanny-x-course]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ihategingfreecss-deactivated202]

“Don’t force yourself into sexual situation just to satisfy your partner” should never be a radical statement

[ihategingfreecss-deactivated202]

This isn’t a matter of discourse. If you don’t like sex or are meh about it, then don’t force yourself to do it just for your partner. Sex isn’t a task. Sex isn’t a requirement for a relationship. If you are afraid not wanting sex is a dealbreaker for your partner, talk with them about it.

Sit down and have an actual honest talk about the matter. If your partner prefers to be with someone who is into sex while you aren’t then it’s more fair for both of you if you split up, than to try to keep together a relationship that wouldn’t work. A person who is sex repulsed/uninterested in sex deserves a partner that will respect that, and a person who likes sex deserves a partner who will respect that. Stop perpetrating bad sex rethoric for fuck’s sake

[gayhanguangjun]

Sometimes I get really upset about how inclusionists have just... made it impossible to have ace-specific safe places I could go to

It always has to be LGBT

Why can’t I make a college club just for asexual and aromantic people, and people who aren’t asexual but are sex repulsed or whatever? I want to be able to have discussions about consent and relationships without sex and living single and the reality of how autism is conflated with asexuality and what it’s like being autistic and not knowing what you want irt sex or romance and all that

and I would want to have those conversations in a space where allo people are NOT, I would want to only be around other people who understand the specific feelings of not wanting or being uncomfortable with any sex or romance, straight or not

I could in theory but it would be completely wrapped up in LGBT things and having people call me queer and bringing up all kinds of painful things that keep me from seeking LGBT spaces anymore bc it’s like other aces are SO obsessed with being LGBT when to me it’s completely separate? When I go to something about autism I’m expecting a very different kind of support group than LGBT and the same goes for asexuality. When I go to an LGBT thing I don’t want to have to think about my relationship with intimacy and sex, I want to think about my gender and about what gender of person I want to spend my life with

An LGBT safe space isn’t where I want to hear about how it’s okay to not want to date anyone. I hear that at all my family gatherings when the topic gets close to the concept of being gay or bi because they’ve decided that because I’m autistic I can only be asexual (and they never used to claim this before I came out). Of course it’s okay to not date or have sex, I need to hear that message too but not when I’m trying to love being LGBT

And inclus please don’t reply to this and try to argue this is MY experience as an ace and LGBT person so please respect that

[acearokomaeda]

It’s like you plucked the thoughts right from my brain, and it’s comforting to know that other aces feel similar as I do (though what isn’t comforting is that it’s an issue in the first place but you know what I mean hah)

[acearokomaeda]

Cishet ace erasure is gross and you’re gross for acting like they can’t exist just because it hurts your political view of “all aces must be lgbt because your asexuality waters down your orientation” like fuck off and leave straight aces alone!!

[biandrogyne]

TME people will bend over backwards trying to convince people that if you're uncomfortable with slurs you're helping Trans Women Exclusionary Radical Feminists but when it comes to ACTUAL activism for transfem people or blocking blogs with ACTUAL twerf rhetoric like "wombyn" there's suddenly silence 🤷🏻‍♀️

[handweavers]

we've created this culture on here where people can get away with transmisogynist behaviour bc as long as they continue to parrot that 'trans women are women' and put *NO TERFS* in their bio they are shielded from accusations of transmisogyny and anyone who questions them is overreacting and insane and stupid and engaging in bad faith and then people act shocked when they find out their faves are transmisogynist or even fucking cryptos. and trans women call this bullshit out CONSTANTLY and i see u all hit the reblog to look good and then keep doing the same shit and never change your behaviour n it's so insidious im disgusted

[creaturey]

Went to block another TERF and saw a “ladies, here’s how to spot one of those sneaky stealth trans women on dating sites” post that very genuinely read like satire even though it clearly was not. One of the listed bullet points was (honest to god) “Men have longer bones than women, so check their femur length!” so I guess TERFs are really out here trying to examine people’s fucking bones like you can really tell how long someone’s femurs are through their god damn pants.

There was also a whole other section on identifying post-op vulvas (which, like…if you’ve already gotten to this point, clearly the bone length thing failed you) and one tip was like—I’m paraphrasing here—“If there’s hair near their anus they’re probably a man! Women sometimes have this too but their butthole hair is way more feminine so it’s easy to tell the difference :)” so I’m pretty convinced that whoever wrote it has never seen a naked woman in their life (cis or trans). Possibly they have never seen another human being before; it’s really unclear by the way they seem to think men and women follow the same phenotypical principles as the orcs in World of Warcraft. Like they deadass watched Pixar’s Brave and accepted the sex dimorphism of Merida’s parents as biological canon.

The other list items were like… ‘tall’, ‘has a lot of body hair’, ‘deep voice’, ‘small butt’ (?), so I guess I’m trans-woman-passing now despite being AFAB, which at least means I don’t need to worry about dating a TERF by accident.

You know what I usually like to call the assumption that women are naturally dainty and hairless? Misogyny and racism! If you have the barest ounce of material understanding it’s obvious that biological essentialism is antithetical to the goals of dismantling misogyny and achieving gender equality. But hey, don’t worry—TERFs are the real feminists here for sure! You can tell by how short their bones are.

[jewfrogs]

“trans men need more representation in media” is a good and true statement! that should be said, and we should talk about how painful it can be to see ourselves so rarely (and to only see ourselves as distorted images of cis women when we are shown), but “trans men need more representation in media, because trans women get all of the representation” is incredibly transmisogynistic and unfair, and it does not belong in our discussions. trans women are not privileged for their depictions in media. stop erasing transmisogyny.

[biandrogyne]

Especially because the majority of transfem "representation" is disgusting carcicatures brought in for laughs or fearmongering.

[deletingbyebyesmileyface-deacti]

Posts discussing transmisogyny, made by people who don’t suffer from it, near universally receive more attention than posts made by actual trans girls. That is something I have observed and remarked on several times already.

The reason for this (I assume, seeing as I don’t have firsthand knowledge), is because being told “We need to do better about transmisogyny” by a more relatable, less hostile appearing tme person, helps to relieve them of some of the guilt that comes with being told what they’re doing is shitty. As opposed to when a trans girl (Such as myself) makes a post about transmisogyny, and is speaking much more directly (And sometimes vaguely hostilely) at the reader.

And sure. I get that being yelled at through the screen by a trans girl because you’re transmisogynistic, isn’t very preferable compared to someone who doesn’t experience transmisogyny, and is thus able to approach the topic with a more emotionally detached, more calm perspective.

To decide that trans girls are “too aggressive” in how they discuss transmisogyny/present their issues to TME people, is transmisogynistic. Transmisogyny is omnipresent in the lives of trans girls, and damn near strips us of any sense of personhood.

It is a luxury to be able to look upon trans girls discussing the horrific ways in which transmisogyny has impacted then, and decide “Actually, she’s being kinda a bitch so I don’t care”.

Understand that, as trans people who aren’t trans girls, you have it better than trans girls so. Plain and simple. As such, if you want to consider yourself a good ally, you have a moral obligation to hold yourself accountable for your own transmisogyny.

It doesn’t matter how “uncomfortable” it may make you to consider such things, because guess what? You can look away from trans girls trying to point out and bring attention to transmisogyny, to spare your own feelings. But us trans girls do not have the privilege of looking away to spare our precious feelings. More than that, transmisogyny is infinitely more impactful and damaging than taking 2 minutes to read a post from a trans girl, and hitting reblog.

Do better.