Ask me about my chocolate cream pie recipe @big-golyat - Tumblr Blog

mayra-quijotescx

morning affirmations:

I am smart

I am capable

I remember how doors work

#i am worth loving‚ i deserve a place in this world‚ my car keys are not lost and i won't be late leaving for work

an-ruraiocht

pankendev

whatever. does this to you

pankendev

psst

haing children gives you a superhuman ability to toss things

pass it on

#i'm only half joking with this; every toss i've made in the past few weeks has been completely accurate #wife's shirt? nailed her on the head. baby's diaper? right on his butt. trash in the trash can? nothing but net baby #shitpost #goly's personal post

persephonaae

Tarnished, before thou continueth upon this journey, I must take the time to send hate anon to Marika’s blog.

the-punforgiven

Honestly the fact that you even can kill Soulsborne bosses at all is funny to me. Like, nice job ripping holes in spacetime and channeling deep-space cosmic radiation into a beam attack, unfortunately for you however I have uhhhhhhhh sharp piece of metal

#in our defense it's a reeeeally sharp piece of metal

thememedaddy

Kinda cool that I get to raise kids and not make the same mistakes that my parents made with me.

They may become messed up, but they won't be messed up like I was

#it's also kind of neat to make them go through the same things that i wish i had done as a kid #her regrets will be entirely her own and not mine #parenting #shitpost

ranni-thewitch

"shitposting"? thou believest that mine posts art made in jest?

Nacho cheese and chocolate pudding are cousins

#i had this thought yesterday while cooking dinner and realized that the methods for making chocolate pudding and nacho cheese are the same #milk‚ corn starch‚ extra fat‚ and some kind of flavor cooked until thick #shitpost

lizardsfromspace

My fave part of this tweet is that even though a lot of people are assuming this was an AI thing or whatever

this is the actual lede of their review of the Super Mario movie

"But it is also, if I check the clock, Mario Time". Poetry

lenofi

me

Me to my infant son during a diaper change: I hope you know that I love you

My son actively shitting his diaper with my fingers less than three inches away:

#so far i haven't gotten any excretion on me while changing his diapers but it's only a matter of time until i do #parenting #shitpost #<- in more ways than one lol

ranni-thewitch

terry crews cameo in the elden ring movie is a must have or i shall abdicate mine role

#starring terry crews as roderika and dwayne “the rock” johnson as gideon ofnir

morhath

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

bookaddict7342

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

morhath

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

#cooking is an art‚ baking is a science‚ and bread making is a ritual #it is possible to understand how bread works but until you do you don't mess with the process #i may only be able to make milk bread but i at least know that much

makesomenoise

Wait Palantir is tracking this??? 😳

➡️ Go to Dropout.tv to watch the season four finale of Make Some Noise now

Josh, Zac, and Brennan gain enlightenment and meet God.

thepictoblr

dude. what did you do. everyone is here.

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Ask me about my chocolate cream pie recipe